When making chocolate fudge:

a) heed instructions to sieve the icing sugar otherwise you end up with white-flecked chocolate fudge (yes, yes I know, it's the snowflake effect)

and

b) if having to resort to using a long deep cake tin instead of the square one indicated in the recipe DO NOT for heaven's sake omit the use of parchment to line the bottom of the tin.

The result of said ignoring is a heavily knife-scored (new) non-stick cake tin

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Cestina's dolls houses - Where has the week gone?

Don't think "ooh, I'll just lie down with my book for half an hour." Two hours later you'll wake up with various kinks in various muscles that will then ache for the rest of the day.

((How is it that I can sleep comfortably on it all night every night with the duvet on but not for a couple of hours without the duvet???))

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"His distinguished air, his handsome dark face, his composed attitude - for he stood perfectly still with one hand at his side - gave singular effect to the circumstance of his being without a hat." - 'Tales of Angria'

Never bash yourself on a table. Particularly not twice in one day!

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Minim's Words and Pictures - Facelessness
I'm in space.

If you think the kettle is taking forever to boil - check whether it's plugged in.

If you then realise that the toaster is plugged in instead, unplug it and plug in the kettle.

If the kettle is still taking forever to boil - check whether you plugged it in or whether in fact you plugged in the electric can opener....

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"How long does getting thin take?" asked Pooh anxiously
"About a week, I should think" said Christopher Robin

Thanks Dawn. For some reason, this had me chuckling out loud. A great start to the day!

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'The world is inhabited by two species of human beings: mankind and the English.' GJ Renier

Glad to oblige!

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"How long does getting thin take?" asked Pooh anxiously
"About a week, I should think" said Christopher Robin

If you need to move your computer from the table to the sofa for a few hours - if you plug one end into the plug socket, it is best to plug the other end of the lead into the computer! Otherwise it is a waste of time!

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Margia Stevens even peeped inquiringly into the great jar where the flour was kept. Needless to state, no Jo was there. (Jo of)

1. Five days before Christmas is not a convenient time to drop your mixing bowl on a tiled floor.

2. When you have ascertained the most convenient time to drop your mixing bowl on a tiled floor, try to avoid doing so while standing in the middle of said floor in your socks.

Ouch!

Bouncing about and saying "Ooh, have you brought me a Christmas present?" when the postman knocks on the door possibly looks very cute when you're about 5, but I've got a horrible feeling that when you're my advanced age it makes you look like a complete idiot .

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We really must stop eating like this ...

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

Alison, I keep doing that, got excited when I saw a parcel from NZ then disappointed when it was for my housemate and told him I wasn't used to living with other Kiwis. He looked very bemused!

Do not attempt to carry flimsy cartons of soup in poor quality supermarket carrier bags. You will look very silly when the bag rips, the carton falls out and breaks and you then have to try to mop soup up off the pavement. Especially when it's thick vegetable soup so it looks rather as if you are actually trying to clean up after staggering home drunk at midday on Christmas Eve and being sick in the street.

So much for trying to eat healthily ... (although luckily only a bit spilt!).

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We really must stop eating like this ...

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

(((Alison)))

It's raining now, so the pavement should get cleared up .

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We really must stop eating like this ...

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

If you're going to make custard in a mug, and at the same time make a cup of tea in a mug, make sure you pick up the correct one to drink from...

...further to which, [courtesy of SLOC] if you're making two mugs of tea, one herbal, one builders, it's a good idea to put the teabags into separate mugs BEFORE you pour the water from the kettle onto them ...

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to be nobody but yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
e.e.cummings
http://stitchwords.blogspot.co.uk

When looking round for a fork to test the state of the thing you are cooking, picking up the one you used earlier to poke at the hyacinths is not a good idea.

As you will find out when you put it in your mouth.

a) Don't put your memory stick in the bigger section of your bag.

b) After doing so don't panic and hunt around desperately for your memory stick because it wasn't in the front section of your bag and you want to be somewhere in a quarter of an hour!

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Minim's Words and Pictures - Facelessness
I'm in space.

With thanks to best friend's brother:

Do not drink a cup of icing sugar for a bet. Do not do anything Ariel bets you to do. Do not listen to Ariel.

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"His distinguished air, his handsome dark face, his composed attitude - for he stood perfectly still with one hand at his side - gave singular effect to the circumstance of his being without a hat." - 'Tales of Angria'

Remember to check your double oven is still functioning BEFORE you need the lower part for your Christmas dinner.
When you are lying on the kitchen floor, scrabbling under the cupboards to retrieve a rogue sausage, make sure your son does not have his camera handy.