When making Sunday dinner, it is advisable to remember to remove Yorkshire puddings from oven and place on plates with said dinner, rather than find them still languishing in the oven when cleaning the kitchen up.

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It's time to stop this dreaming, must rejoin the real world
As revealed by orange lights and a smoky atmosphere.
Heathaze, Genesis

That's a catastrophe, Vick! I ate five Yorkshire Puddings tonight (and six last night. Not that I like them or anything).

I would add that you should not try to walk through the glass panel at the side of the double doors out of the car park. It makes you look quite silly when you bump into it.

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"And I'm sure there was blood in the gutter from somebody's head, or else it was the sunset in a puddle."

So This is School! - Review: JP of the Fifth by Margaret Griffiths

Don't buy cheap slippers which rip really easily allowing you to catch the detached sole at the front under the stair and go flying onto the stone floor at speed resulting in mild concussion, serious impact on already fragile right-side and blood everywhere. Written like that, it sounds quite amusing and must have looked it too

My Grandad makes the best Yorkshire Pudding ever.

If you're expecting a parcel, do not assume that the person ringing the doorbell is the postman. It's far more likely to be a fourteen-year-old in a suit trying to sell you Gas

I don't know what the world is coming to - 14 year old gasmen, 12 year old doctors, 15 year old policemen.......

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Cestina's dolls houses - Where has the week gone?

When trying to give the impression that one is hard at work and not messing about on the internet, it is best not to say "Ooh, Frankie's been kicked off The X Factor," in a way which is audible in the next room.

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We really must stop eating like this ...

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

Lol! You're not alone, Alison - my boss just interrupted a discussion of the next Executive committee agenda with that same remark.

Always factor in the time taken to people to get ready when telling them when you need to leave as they won't start getting ready until that time...

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If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through the window.
http://siobhansqueensguide.wordpress.com/

If you're going to eat all 5 vanilla donuts your SLOC bought , at least hide the empty box before he sees it!

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"Netball is an outlet - an escape from the humdrum. There's nothing gives me such a kick. Well, nothing except vodka." ..Angela Farley

Email from public library:

Dear Miss Jackson !

[Your order is ready, or words to that effect]
...
Please bring a printout of this email with you to collect your requests.
Bonn was the recycling-paper-friendliest city in Germany 2010-2011. Therefore, please check whether this mail really must be printed out.

It made me laugh, at least !!

Especially SLOCs. When you give a SLOC a warning that dinner will be on the table in five minutes, expect that, five minutes later when you announce that it now is on the table, SLOC will decide that he will now save the work on the computer, go and get changed, wash his hands etc.

My son reckons that I believe time goes into suspended animation from the moment I leave the house to the time I arrive at my destination - ie I leave at the appointed arrival time

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Cestina's dolls houses - Where has the week gone?

Don't defrost raw swede on the kitchen counter overnight then come down in the morning to look for the dead body you think you can smell!! Cor, swede doesn't half pong!!

If we are going any distance I am reduced to telling SLOC we are due there at least half an hour before we actually are. This drives me MENTAL.

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If sparkly vampires are impaled on a wooden stake do they bleed glitter?

Beware of students' competitive tendencies!

We were playing "Stop the Bus". If you don't know the game, you give a list of categories (city, celebrity, food/drink, job, verb... anything you can think of or would be relevant really) and a letter, and the students come up with words beginning with the letter for each category. The first team to complete the list shouts "Stop the bus!" and everyone has to stop there with as many as they've got.

I did say "shout" but she screamed - as if she was seeing off a murderer or something! The student next to her got deafened, I nearly fell off my seat, quite a number of books landed on the floor, I swear my heart hasn't actually recovered from it yet!

(They did win the game in the end and boy were they proud of themselves! I had occasion to teach "big-headed" and "sour grapes" before the end of the day!)

Ooh, good game. Thank you

We used to play it with cards - I might have to ask mum what the exact rules were!

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"His distinguished air, his handsome dark face, his composed attitude - for he stood perfectly still with one hand at his side - gave singular effect to the circumstance of his being without a hat." - 'Tales of Angria'

I know a variation on that. We always called it Categories. Everyone chooses a category, which gets listed down the page. Then everyone chooses a letter of the alphabet, which go across the top of the page. You have an agreed time to fill in as many blanks as possible. When the time's up, each person starts with their own category and lists the words they have. Here's a the killer, though - you only get a point for a unique word. If someone else has the same word, neither of you gets a point. The trick is to be as original as you can!

Something like this is described in Problem, although I think they only had one letter per round. They did have the uniqueness rule, though.

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The Chalet School has done it again!

Those games sound fun.

Don't try to manoeuvre around a bike's handle's in a corridor with a plate in one arm and a drink bottle in the other. Instead, use the other door.

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Minim's Words and Pictures - This Comic is Brought to You by Literal-Mindedness
Ignorance can be cured, but stupidity is for life.