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Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >> Tales of a carving Knife 
(Message started by: Carolyn P on Sep 4^th, 2003, 2:40pm)

Title: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 4^th, 2003, 2:40pm

Sorry. Had to get this one out. I won't let you have any more of my madness though, not unless you really want it.

Feel free ect.ect. ;D

“If this knife could talk,” said Inspector Lestrange, “Then it would tell us everything we need to know about the dark and gruesome history of the Chalet School.”

He turned the knife over being careful only to touch it with is pen to avoid removing any fingerprints it might contain. He knew that this was probably not necessary. Chalet girls were trained from an early age in the necessity of wearing gloves, but you never knew, someone, somewhere may have made a vital mistake.

The knife looked like an ordinary carving knife from a distance, but close up it was possible to see that the handle was stained. It looked like rust, but the Inspector knew from years of experience with the Chalet girls that it was in fact blood. The blade was horned to an immaculate sharpness; you felt that just just looking at it could injure you. Lestrange plucked a hair from his head and waved it over the blade. It fell into two pieces.

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by LulieCat on Sep 4^th, 2003, 2:45pm

*Grins* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Little does the Inspector know!!! BTW, does he have an innocent, homely sidekick, who the ladies love, a la Sergeant Troy in Midsummer murders? I think he ought to.

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 4^th, 2003, 2:54pm

"Tell me," said Sergeant Schwarzadder, "When did you first become suspicious of the Chalet School?"

The Inspector looked at his innocent sidekick, pondering on the other mans homeliness for a moment, before replying.

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rach on Sep 4^th, 2003, 3:05pm

"My story goes back a long way - to my childhood, in fact. My younger brother was always a weak and sickly child, so in some ways it wasn't a surprise when he was diagnosed with TB when he was 6. What was a surprise was that the whole family "upped sticks" (is that a CS phrase or have I just made it up?) and moved to Austria. To the Tyrol, to be precise."

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Ray on Sep 4^th, 2003, 3:19pm

Sergeant Blackadder? !

Was that intentional?

Ray *curious*

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rach on Sep 4^th, 2003, 3:27pm

"My brother was booked into a world-famous sanatorium in the mountains, and my father and I stayed in a chalet in a small village by a lake just below."

Inspector Lestrange smiled.

"I wasn't very happy - a 13 yr old boy stuck in a strange country, unable to speak the language. But then one day I heard a familiar language being spoken by a group of girls."

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 4^th, 2003, 3:36pm

"It's not many girls that can speak Swahili with that degree of confidence, but these girls certainly managed it" the Inspector continued, while Sergeant Schwarzadder sat enthralled, hanging onto every word from his superior.

(And yes the Sergreant's name was intentional ;D)

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rach on Sep 4^th, 2003, 3:52pm

"And from that moment I was completely smitten."

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 4^th, 2003, 7:00pm

"I had to know who these girls where. They seemed happy, which was strange because everyone else in that place was living in fear. I later found out of course that they were the cause of that fear. I was particularly taken with the youngest girl. She had a face like an angel, rosey cheecks and black curls framing her face. In her hands she carried this very carving knife, holding it carelessly by the blade and swinging it around.

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Marianne on Sep 4^th, 2003, 9:00pm

'She went by the code name of Robin but her real name was cecillia Marya, she had been born the daughter of a polish spy and had been trained in spydom by the tender age of six. She was sent to the Chalet school to train and maim others.'

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 4^th, 2003, 10:35pm

"Many accidents occurred at this school, for the most part not fatal. The fatalities came much later. What nobody ever suspected though was that these accidents were not accidental at all, but were all elaborate set ups by the young Polish operative, who due to her lack of years, never quite managed to pull off the plans laid by her father."

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Esmeralda on Sep 4^th, 2003, 11:04pm

:D Giggles, but ever so slightly worried by certain peoples obsession with carving knives...

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 4^th, 2003, 11:06pm

on 09/04/03 at 23:04:48, Esmeralda wrote:

:D Giggles, but ever so slightly worried by certain peoples obsession with carving knives...

Personally I am confused by all this talk of knives - I don't know who introduced the subject, but I have the feeling they could require "special" medical help in the near future!

Rachel ~ considering investing in a flak jacket

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Esmeralda on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:42am

Are you an 'Engalkind' Rachel?
No? I thought as much - in that case the wide eyed innocent look just won't wash! :P

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 8:32am

Let me put on my shocked face :o

I don't know what you are implying Esmeralda, but nobody saw me do it, no-one can prove a thing. I'm innocent I tell you, INNOCENT!

Rachel ~ running around looking for Horace to defend me

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by KB on Sep 5^th, 2003, 9:22am

*KB throws her hat in with Esmeralda's POV*

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Ray on Sep 5^th, 2003, 10:15am

*is tempted to join in KB's hat throwing*

*recalls the number of times her own innocent act has failed miserably*

*decides against it*

Ray *calling hello pot*

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 11:40am

*****replies, "hello kettle" and tries to remember where Lestrange and Schwarzadder had got to...*****

Schwarzadder looked at Lestrange. "But there's more isn't there?" he asked. "I mean, accidents, whether accidental or not are one thing, but where does the knife start becoming the main thrust of this tale?"

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by KB on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:19pm

Pun, pun!

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:22pm

Oooooooooops! :-[

Schwarzadder hastily re-phrased his question. "I mean, when are you going to get to the point of this story, Inspector?"

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Jennie on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:44pm

Wiil he screw his courage to the sticking place or not?

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by PatW on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:45pm

I expect so, but this year? next year? sometime?.....

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by xanthe on Sep 5^th, 2003, 4:16pm

*giggles*

i do sometimes worry about the bloodthirsty natures of some of the CBB ;)

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 5^th, 2003, 4:23pm

I may have started this thread, but the carving knife wasn't my idea originally. I think we all know who originated that. ;D :-* I just thought that given all the drabbles it had come up in the carving knife really deserved a chance at its own story.

Carolyn *protesting innocence*

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 5:38pm

*****Struggling to think*****

Nope, can't work it out - who did introduce Carving Knives to the drabblers?

Rachel ~ ::) <~~~~~~ THAT'S the Frodo look ;)

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by PatW on Sep 5^th, 2003, 8:22pm

Don't forget, as a good CS girl ::) You have to own up straight away! ;D ;D

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by KB on Sep 5^th, 2003, 10:05pm

For some reason, that sentence seems to jarr: Rachel - good CS girl...

Hmmm...

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 10:05pm

Who said I was good? ;D

Rachel ~ it was my devil made me do it! honest engine!

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 5^th, 2003, 11:21pm

Unless you are willing to have the surname Maynard then you are not allowed to blame things on your devil.

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Ciorstaidh on Sep 7^th, 2003, 3:29pm

Is there the odd "mwah-hah-hah-hah" echoing round your office/home, Carolyn?

Quote:

Schwarzadder hastily re-phrased his question. "I mean, when are you going to get to the point of this story, Inspector?"

yes, when is the Inspector going to get to the point of the story? (An even worse pun than the first phraseing!!!)

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE (repeated ad nauseum)

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 7^th, 2003, 7:53pm

on 09/07/03 at 15:29:36, Ciorstaidh wrote:

Is there the odd "mwah-hah-hah-hah" echoing round your office/home, Carolyn?
yes, when is the Inspector going to get to the point of the story? (An even worse pun than the first phraseing!!!)
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE (repeated ad nauseum)

Why me!!!

If you all want some more, put your brains into steep and write some more.

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:03am

Ah go on Carolyn - you obviously are in the inspectors confidence - he aint telling me anything now!

Although he did whisper a rumour about alien abduction theories . . .

Rachel ~ back to try and reclaim my top fifteen position!

(Some people post so much!)

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 9^th, 2003, 9:21pm

Top fifteen what?

I can't finish this. I've just started back at college and have to start getting on with some actual work soon, and I'm trying to work out the revisions to Annexe and not being very happy with myself. And I'm trying to loose weight, tidy up after the childre and husband, wash and dry the families clothes when I'm not in the house 4 days a week and I think I am going slightly mad and can't take refuge in chocolate.

Wahhhhh Wahhhhhh Wahhhhhhh

Feel much better for having got that out of my system.

I don't actually feel able to write this thread very well either, I love detective and comic novels but don't think I can write that style without going wayyyyyy over the top.

Like the idea of bringing in alien abduction, but wouldn't the aliens have a nasty encounter with the carving knife??

Title: Re: Tales of a carving Knife
Post by Rachel on Sep 9^th, 2003, 11:03pm

OK, will give it a go . . . .

Lestrange looked sadly at Shwarzadder. "I fell in love that summer Seargeant" he said, "With the most beautiful girl I had ever seen walk the earth. She told me she loved me also, and I believed her then, and I still believe it now. But she vanished, never to be seen again. . ."

The inspectors voice trailed off and the sergeant fidgited in his chair until recalled to a sense of decency by a glare from Lestrange. "If I'm boring you I could stop?" he said in his most cutting tones.