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Title: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:25pm Ally asked me to start this thread, to see how many people could devise a really horrible death /suffering (and/or, delete as appropriate) Since no-one really seems to like him, I thiught it might be a good outlet for our feelings. Reg Entwhistle lay back contentedly in the warm sunshine. He thought about how fortunate he was to be engaged to such a delightful girl as Len Maynard, the fact that her father was the Head of the San didn't hurt either, and he knew that she had been brought up to be a good little wife who put husband and children first. As far as he could see, the only clouds on the horizon were her approaching three years at Oxford, with the attendant danger of her meeting someone else, and the proximity of his wife's family once they were married. Hm, perhaps he ought to start looking around for a new Job, in or near Oxford, perhaps. As he lay there sleepily, inhaling the fragrance of the rose bushes which surrounded him, he was a supremely happy man. What a shame that he had never read any Aristotle........... Over to you, girls, and don't blame me, Ally suggested this piece of Middles mischief. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:27pm He was completely unaware that he had made a bunch of extremely dangerous enemies, who were determined to inflict as much pain on his as they could, even if it did mean putting a few spokes in the rose tinted Chalet School wheel in the process.. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ally on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:48pm *Chokes on her evil laugh* (Thank you Jennie ;) ) What Reg hadn't realised was that a large group (of mainly women) of all ages had been plotting his downfall for years, and they had just had a very succesful meeting... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Aug 29th, 2003, 6:42pm The SSOR had been born and Reg was about to suffer the consequences. Ever since his first appearance in the lives of the Maynard Family as a sulky teenager Reg had been stalked by crazed women out to kill him in a miriad of different ways. He had thought at first that he had been going mad and had been about to consult a psycharatist but was convinced of the reality of his persecutors by the incident concerning the elastic band, a tin of tuna fish and a large trombone. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:29pm His belief in our (Sorry, "their") existence was further reinforced by a second incident involving a jellyfish, a banana and a pair of castanets! He couldn't understand how these women came up with their ideas..... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:48pm However their latest attempt, which had necessitated the use of a blow-dryer (don't know if they existed then; furthermore, don't care), a step-ladder and a positive featherbed or whipped cream had made him seriously worry... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by BethC on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:56pm ...resulting in his decision to book himself in to the San's newly-opened plastic surgery unit in the hope that a change of appearance would afford him some protection. Little did he know with whom he was dealing... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:59pm A set of women who were possessed of the latest in spying and x raying technology, and who were more than capable of identifying him through any disguise he might assume.. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Aug 29th, 2003, 11:06pm And beside anything else would have to describe him post-operation, so they would certainly know how he looked! Still, Reg was determined, and consulted the best plastic-surgeon, who was in the mood to experiment and suggested a complete sex change. (Well, at least it will put him out of the running for Len!) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 11:09pm Reg was a little concerned about this. It had it's advantages- those mad women from the CBB would be less likely to pursue him if he appeared to be one of their own. The only question was whether he'd be expected to go through pregnancy and childbirth.. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Aug 29th, 2003, 11:41pm Reg thrust that thought to the back of his mind. He had never wanted children and as a doctor he knew how to avoid them. He let the doctor go ahead. Which was a huge mistake as the surgeon was a CBB'er in disguise and instead of a sex change Reg got... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 11:47pm .....an operation which involved the radical repositioning of a certain part of his anatomy, and brought new meaning to the term "d ickhead"......................... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 11:49pm ROFL! oh Vikki... Reg was slightly put out at this. it made him look so ridiculous and he'd always hated that. He refused to pay the doctor for her trouble and stalked off... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 11:55pm ....unluckily for Reg, his new anatomical alignment had a tendancy to flop down into his eyes.... (I believe it's called "Brewers Droop"?) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by BethC on Aug 30th, 2003, 12:24am However, Reg wasn't going to let a small thing like that ;) worry him. He dived into the nearest ward and grabbed a handful of bandages from the nearest patient, then wrapped these around his head as a temporary measure. Incidentally, the patient involved, who had been at the stage of being very gradually raised on pillows and fed on tripe and warm milk, discharged herself from the San the next day, confirming a whole new stage in the development of shock treatment at the time. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Aug 30th, 2003, 9:43am He stormed off to his office in the San, only to find the cleaner there, intently reading through his case-notes whilst pretending to dust his desk. He snarled at the cleaner to get out of his office. The cleaner,a middle-aged woman who was wearing a badge with the tasteful motifs of a jellyfish, a banana and a tin of tuna fish, and also had the outline of a pair of castanets in her overall pocket, looked at him, smirked gleefully, and remarked, 'You may have had an operation to change your appearance, but you're still a d*ck-head, so don't think you'll escape the vengeance of SSOR' With that the cleaner hopped smartly out of the window, and could be seen by all interested observers to be running over the Platz on her own arched insteps. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Aug 30th, 2003, 9:47am Reg carefully locked the door and then sank down into his chair behind the desk. Silly boy, he forgot to check for booby traps! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Aug 30th, 2003, 1:01pm He failed to notice that his chair had been replaced with a modified ejector seat, which hurled him against the opposite wall at a rate of knots. Unfortunately, Reg had been blessed (or cursed, depending on point of view) with a really hard head, so the only thing to suffer was the displaced appendage. Reg got to his feet, wincing with the pain, and speaking to himself in a falsetto voice, wondered aloud why and how he had managed to to acquire such a bunch of determined enemies. What had he done to make these women hate him so much? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Aug 30th, 2003, 2:50pm He sneakily unlocked the door of his office, and then carefully made his way to his flat in the San. By now he was sufficiently aware of his danger to be a little more cautious. He unlocked the door into his small abode, mentally making a note not to invite Len there for a grand seduction scene until all this was cleared up. He then realised that following his plastic surgery, seduction was out for the foreseeable future. He kicked open the door to his sitting room in an attempt to check that there were no booby traps attached to it. As there were no large falling weights, loud explosions or visible trip wires, he entered the room, looking around for any sighns of obvious disturbance. There were none so he seated himself on the sofa, only to discover............ |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Aug 30th, 2003, 4:34pm That as he sat down belts shot out of the back of the sofa and fastened him securely befor the entire sofa along with Reg sank slowly into the floor and down into the mountain. Reg looked in surprise as a cavern full of activity was revealed inside the mountain. The sofa turned and Reg could see the back of a chair and a hand slowly stroking a giant St Bernard. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Aug 30th, 2003, 8:14pm It seems we are now adding time travel (to get us back to Reg's era with modern technology) and what looks like a direct pinch from the Bond movies (St Bernard = white cat?) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Aug 30th, 2003, 8:57pm So? The question is, who is stroking the st bearnard? Yes the allusion was to a white cat. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Aug 30th, 2003, 9:00pm *is aware that is about to be lynched for this* "Good evening, Reginald. I've been expecting you." Thus spoke Dr James Maynard - Jack to his friends and loving family. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Aug 30th, 2003, 9:35pm Yes!!!! Jack a psycho! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Aug 30th, 2003, 10:34pm Woo hoo! Go Jack! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Aug 30th, 2003, 10:37pm OK - so aparently I'm NOT going to get lynched. Go me! Ray *wondering if it really is safe to come out of hiding* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Aug 31st, 2003, 10:22am Sorry, but I have to be pedantic and point out that Jack's name was John, not James! Excellent plot twist though! ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Aug 31st, 2003, 10:26am *sigh* Knew it was one or the other. Still, seeing as we're well into AU terratory...does anyone else mind? Ray *will correct if demand* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Aug 31st, 2003, 10:52am Nah! Stick with James, and say he'd been using John to help conceal his real identity! ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Aug 31st, 2003, 11:14am "What...the...Jack? You're behind this?!" exclaimed Reg. "But...but...but..." "But what?" Jack retorted, getting to his feet. "Did you seriously think I thought you were suitable match for my daughter?" |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Aug 31st, 2003, 3:24pm "How could you be impudent enough to think that a two bit sulky thing like you could ever make her happy. You would never have got through med school if you hadn't come out here for coaching every vac. Len is worth ten of you and I'm going to make sure she gets the doctor she really deserves. As for you, I wouldn't even wipe my feet on you. My wife however feels otherwise and has convinced me to relase you to the care of ome friends of hers. I believe they run an organisation called the SSOR. I don't know exactly what it stands for some womens thing no doubt. They will be coming for you shortly." |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Aug 31st, 2003, 5:15pm Reg was relieved at this. Surely Joey Maynard would rescue him and explain the cause of all the odd things that had been happening lately! Consequently, he went happily enough to Freudesheim, where he was greeted enthusiastically by Bruno. Unfortunately Bruno's version of enthusiastic did not quite accord with Reg's.. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 1st, 2003, 9:50am *laughing far too hard to add to this, but enjoying it greatly nonetheless* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:11am Reg heard the sound of trampling feet, and a confused babble of voices. 'I'm Head Girl, I get to torture him first.' No, I'm the oldest, me first' Me, I'm the one who started this thread.' 'No me, I'm the one who suggested it to Jennie' 'We may be young, but Chloe and I are very ingenious. We want to go first, you lot always keep all the fun for yourselves' 'My plot bunny thinks I should be first.' 'Well my sanity cow thinks that I should be first, then I can get back to real life. With that, Reg looked up and saw the members of the SSOR. With a sinking heart, (and a feeling that he recognised as his liver and kidneys trying to abandon ship), he realised that he had fallen (been pushed) into the hands of the most vicious tribe of women on Earth, the Provisional Wing of the Chaletians! Over to you, girls. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 2nd, 2003, 3:17pm With an unearthly scream of terror, Reg fainted away and lay on the ground; still, grey and to all appearance dead.................................................................... :P |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Sep 2nd, 2003, 3:20pm But the SSOR had come across that before. They descended on their victim like a swarm of avenging Harpies. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 2nd, 2003, 4:32pm ......and tickled his feet until he couldn't stay still any longer...... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 2nd, 2003, 5:25pm That's exctly what i was thinking of adding, but was scared it wouldn't be bloodthirsty enough for you all. ;D I think now might be the time for the ... soft cushions... (Monty python anyone?) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Sep 2nd, 2003, 5:32pm *debates for a few seconds then decides against tossing in her amusingly censored version of the line* Ray *amused by the thread but opting not to encourage you* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 2nd, 2003, 5:37pm Awwwww! Go on Ray! Don't be a spoilsport! Encourage us! Please! :P ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Sep 2nd, 2003, 5:41pm Look at my two recent drabbles. How can I possibly be a member of SSOR?! Ray *having an attack of the conscience* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Chloe on Sep 2nd, 2003, 5:46pm *hiding quietly in the corner giggiling* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:26pm on 09/02/03 at 17:41:36, Ray wrote:
Well, that's a first! Just get on with it, Ray! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:32pm The Sanity Cow looked on with a feeling of foreboding. The foreboding feeling was justified when, with a slightly bovine-embarrassed look, the Sanity Cow raised it's tail and did what cows do best all over Regs' head. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:34pm *sigh* "Shut your festering gob you common-garden-bird." There. Said it. May I now be excused? Ray *conscience pains* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:54pm I'll take it that was aimed at me, shall I? Between that and the SSoKB, I think I should quietly retire into oblivion and tear up "Peace". |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:57pm Shrieking "NOoooooooooooooooooooo" at KB Don't you dare! Rachel ~ worried for the safety of the masterpiece in progress |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 2nd, 2003, 10:58pm *explains* Well, you see, my muse doesn't take very well to being suppressed, and it doesn't like being called names. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 2nd, 2003, 11:00pm *Sobs broken heartedly and full of repentence for any injuries done to KBs muse and bunnies* Am I forgiven? Rachel ~ petted lip all a'tremble |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Ray on Sep 2nd, 2003, 11:01pm No I was aiming it at Reg. But now I feel all guilty. And not just for maligning the poor chap. Please don't do that KB! Ray *penitent* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 2nd, 2003, 11:05pm It wasn't aimed at me? Oh, good! *KB cheers up and starts to piece "Peace" together. ;) (Lordy, that was a terrible pun! And not even intentional...) All right, you're both forgiven. :-* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 2nd, 2003, 11:09pm Yay! And in order to celebrate, me and my Sanity Cow are going to come up with some more ideas for Reg . . . Rachel ~ wiping the tears from her eyes with the snotty hanky 'cos she still can't find Miss A to snaffle one from |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 2nd, 2003, 11:11pm Rachel, what is a sanity cow and where can I obtain one? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 2nd, 2003, 11:16pm on 09/02/03 at 23:11:50, Carolyn P wrote:
You don't know what a Sanity Cow is? Oh dear oh dear oh dear! A Sanity Cow is the opposite of a plot bunny - it goes around and STOMPS the bunnies into oblivion, allowing one to live with a modicum of Sanity in ones' life. ;D And you can only obtain one from me once mine becomes pregnant and fills the earth with its' offspring. And since mine is the only one, we are awaiting divine intervention or else you will all be stuck with the plot bunnies forever! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha Rachel ~ wondering if her Sanity Cow has gone walkabout today . . . |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 3rd, 2003, 6:26am Rachel - have you heard of cloning? I'm sure the rest of the board - those of us afflicted by plot bunnies - would be happy to set up a trust fund! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 3rd, 2003, 4:36pm SSOR Meeting this evening. Agenda 1) Pledges from all members to continue to devise ingenious and excruciating tortures for Reg 2) Pledges to post on this thread without conscience or compassion 3) AOB & recital of We Hate Reg mantra. Tea and biscuits will be served. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 3rd, 2003, 5:50pm Jennie, Just to let you know I will be attending! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 3rd, 2003, 5:53pm Please say your pledges aloud, recite the mantra three times, and then sit back with tea & bikkies. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 3rd, 2003, 6:43pm *has an alternative use for the biscuits* did you ever read about how the rhino got his skin? could we make Reg wear a catsuit filled with biscuit crumbs? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Sep 3rd, 2003, 8:26pm What a waste of bikkies! A hair shirt is *much* better. Think what it's like when you've had your hair cut & get bits of hair down your back. That's why monks used to wear them - because it's sheer torture! Heh, heh, heh ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 3rd, 2003, 8:31pm Will he have to wear hair underwear as well. Oh, and we must make him read the complete works of Josephine M Bettany. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Sep 3rd, 2003, 8:34pm Hair shirts were worn under everything else; I think we must go further and invent pants to match. Not only read Jo's books, but memorise them. He must know them better than any of us!!!! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 3rd, 2003, 8:51pm I think we should let lots of trainee docs/nurses/phlebotomists practice putting canulas in on him ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 3rd, 2003, 9:44pm OW ;D I love it. We need a smily for evil grin ;D is somehow to nice. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 3rd, 2003, 9:47pm hyuk hyuk hyuk and can we please please make him eat hospital food as well ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 3rd, 2003, 11:39pm What about a hair shirt underneath and a chain mail shirt on top? Because, of course, there's that little-known metal allergy Reg suffers from... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Susan on Sep 4th, 2003, 1:01am We will have to form a rota to watch Reg while he eats to make sure he does not dispose of the food inappropriatley (in the bin or out the window) and if he leaves any food food on his plate it will be served up at the next meal - however inappropraite. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 4th, 2003, 1:34am After being kept in the fridge and not re heated |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 9:10am *giggles* and we ought to make him listen to beginners doing their violin/recorder practise ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 9:19am Personally, I'm going to be really nice to him - but I'm going to do it with such a leer on my face it's going to scare him witless. Rachel ~ practising her leering skills |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 9:22am I will use my scary-mad-person laugh on him... (It frightened my friend Emma a LOT when she watched my GCSE devised piece... her and the rest of the audience methinks...) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 4th, 2003, 9:27am Well, I'm frightened of both of you already, so it seems to be working! *g* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 4th, 2003, 9:53am Ladies, words cannot express the pride I feel. Such excellent tortures, he could live for ever this way, just as long as it's in extreme misery. Extra whipped cream for all at Kaffee und Kuchen. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Sep 4th, 2003, 9:59am on 09/04/03 at 01:34:10, Carolyn P wrote:
No, no! That would keep it too fresh!!! Leave it open to flies and anything else that wants to walk over it!!! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 10:07am *giggles* hemming sheets/dusters! and every time he finishes he has to unpick it and start again! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:01am on 09/03/03 at 20:51:35, xanthe wrote:
To take this a step further, substitute catheters for canulas!!!! ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:06am How about a looped tape of Jo singing Brittany to play in the background. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:14am on 09/04/03 at 11:01:50, Vikki wrote:
*winces* ants in his pants, anyone? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:16am That's not fair to the ants! Apart from anything else, they'd have to put up with the hair pants!!! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:19am *looks thoughtful* itching powder then? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:29am Jennie weeps with pride at the evil natures displayed by the members of the SSOR. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:33am *offers Jennie a hanky* as our leader it is only right that you be proud ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Susan on Sep 4th, 2003, 4:02pm On alternative days to the looped tape of Jo sining Brittany fix up a screen in his room that constantly shows home movied (or videos - depending when this is supposed to be) of Jo and her cronies playing paper games. And sudden thought - at the next sale put him in stocks and have people throw things at him ice cold sponges, tomatoes etc. Arrange with the hospital chef to have at leat one meal made up of Jo's disgusting sandwich fillings from Joey Goes .I'm sure we could make up some more fillings of our own. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 4:12pm At great personal sacrifice, I am offering to allow Reg to come here and I will "take care" of him. This will involve a great deal of my time, but I think it only fair, and my duty, to do this to allow other people the freedom to do whatever RL requires of them. I promise to do whatever I think necessary to Reg, and as I have two children, four cats and a rabbitt, you can rest assure that peace and rest are the last things he will get here. Rachel ~ noble of spirit and such a martyr to the cause. (Hoping nobody will realise that after reading "I Promise" and "Promises Kept" that I am beginning to feel glimmerings of sympathy and possible desire for Reg - if only he would change his name!) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 4th, 2003, 4:19pm Rachel, calm yourself. It's very noble of you, but have you forgotten his operation? are you sure that your poor rabbit will be able to take the site of that.I feel that we can be sure that the children will be just as evilly disposed to him as we all are. Anyone beginning to develop sympathetic tendencies towards Reg will be sent for compulsory SSOR re-training. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 4:26pm *****falling off the chair laughing***** I HAD forgotten his operation! ::) :D I think I am in need of retraining as I keep getting these strange thoughts that say "Maybe he isn't actually THAT bad - it's all Elinor's fault for not explaining him properly in the beginning! Rachel ~ wondering just HOW she managed to forget his operation! (And wondering now if it is reversible?) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by edith on Sep 4th, 2003, 5:40pm Can i set u all loose on John Paul? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 5:52pm Sure! Not a problem! Rachel ~ wondering who John Paul acksherlly is! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 4th, 2003, 6:57pm As a nurse can ( whoops - sorry Hilda) may I suggest emptying dirty bed pans? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 4th, 2003, 7:00pm Oh lovely! Oh, and as someone who worked at Waddow, may I suggest a) sending him there to work [why did this not occur to me before? possibly only as I thought it was too cruel even for Reg] and b) dropping sanitary towel bins onto him... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by LulieCat on Sep 4th, 2003, 8:08pm And if he's extra specially naughty he can come to work with me and perform the nasty parts of one of my jobs - taking people to the toilet. And then he can empty the sani-bins as well. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 10:26pm I'm sure Reg would enjoy sorting out blocked toilets, too! And we could start a nappy laundering service, with him doing all the laundering! ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:03pm Has anyone suggested electric shock treatment whilst listening to Joey singing?? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:05pm Let's marry him off to Matey! I am sure she could keep him under control and quell any of his stubborness with a single glare! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:15pm We could always stake him out in the snow.....Naked! ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:19pm We could make Reg run the London Marathon dressed as a furry bear. He would have to sprint the entire way, if he were to slow down for any reason he would be prodded with one of those switch things (used when Mary-Lou got stuck on the cupboard). We could also make Reg complete a marathon across the Sahara Desert, no drinks breaks permitted!! You've all got me thinking of evil ideas now... *Emma wonders off plotting...* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:25pm We could make him drink lots of water and then tie him up next to a running tap, and see how good his bladder control is! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:31pm Or we could wax every part of his body ;D, then extract all his teeth and give him some nice piercings... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:35pm We could cover him with jam and stake him out on an anthill............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:36pm Now the torture sessions have been planned, what is the next stage? Do we get to vote on the choice of torture then carry it out? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:40pm Or we could just do EVERYTHING all at once |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:44pm I like that idea Rachel ;D. Each member of the SSOR has to perform an evil task, all at the same time... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:45pm Not all at once! We want to be able to savour his suffering at each of our tortures, don't we? |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:56pm Hey, we can video tape it and then savour every precious moment every day! Rachel ~ worried she might be projecting her ex-husband into the Reg role (On second thoughts, glad she is projecting!) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:57pm True Vikki, we could make a video of the event to be used as a training and enjoyment aid for present and future members of the SSOR. *Great minds think alike Rachel ;)* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 4th, 2003, 11:59pm *begins to worry about the kind of people she's fraternising with* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 5th, 2003, 12:02am It's possibly a good job that Reg is only pretend *shock horror :o :o :o* as if any of the SSOR were to meet him in the street, well I dread to think... Speaking of video cameras, well all the best moments have to be captured on video (Emma thinks back to the *lovely* video she found of her 'Walking in the Air' solo... :-[) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 5th, 2003, 9:11am *giggles* just as long as no overzealous security forces type draws the conclusion that this is a coded discussion about terrorism we should be okay |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by PatW on Sep 5th, 2003, 9:15am Not if they take your 'plottings' at face value Xanthe! :o :o |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 5th, 2003, 9:17am That sounds like a cue for the auto-censor to delete the whole thread! lolol Ladies, if this thread should be deleted, if all our hard work is to be in vain, let me say this one thing to you. We can all justly be proud of ourselves today, tomorrow and every day yet to come. It is a far better thing we have achieved this day, and because of us, the Chalet School is going to be a far safer place to be a young female in. No more will girls be rushed into marrying older doctors, who really ought to know better anyway, no more will mothers with no sense of proportion be able to hurry their offspring into marriage to the only man available, regardless of the fact he might be a complte perv, no more will the men in white coats have to be on standby, holding tranquilising guns aimed at my heart. Ladies, I salute you! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 5th, 2003, 9:18am *makes preparations for escape should the worst happen* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 5th, 2003, 9:31am I believe it would be a good idea to start digging the tunnel with the teasthingys! All hands to the tunnel! Please prepare your own trousers for the dumping of the waste material in the staff rose garden! Rachel ~ who hasn't really watched either "The Great Escape" or "The Shawshank Redemption" too many times! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 5th, 2003, 11:32am *Wonders what kind of waste material we'll be dumping in the staff rose garden?* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Rachel on Sep 5th, 2003, 11:47am we'll dump all the stuff that makes the roses grow so well ;) Anyone else ever been amazed at the speed the Maynards manage to convert their cabbage patch into a fully blooming (<sigh> Bloom!) rose garden? In my garden, it takes years just to try and get one daffoldil to flower! Rachel ~ Bloom! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 8th, 2003, 11:29am ANNOUNCEMENT It is with pride that I announce that Reg has been reduced to a gibbering wreck, with just enough personality to allow vilification in other threads. A very loud chorus of 'WELL DONE', and congratulations to all who took part. Jennie, almost bursting with pride. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 8th, 2003, 1:38pm *raises hand and asks tentatively, "Jennie, can we have a party to celebrate Reg's gibbering wreckhood?"* *looks hopeful!* ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 8th, 2003, 1:56pm But of course, what sort of booze are you going to bring? BTW. How do you manage to do so many posts so quickly? My system is running so slowly that I nearly fall asleep whilst a new page is coming up. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 8th, 2003, 2:16pm I tend to have at least 2 if not 3 windows open at the same time, so while one window is loading my post, I'm either reading or typing another post in the other window! Vikki *revealing her secrets!* ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 8th, 2003, 4:39pm on 09/08/03 at 11:29:03, Jennie wrote:
Hurrah! Hurrah! (And indeed rejoicing!) *dances with glee* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 8th, 2003, 8:13pm Should I get my sister to make her famous jelly for our party? It has five different flavours set on top of each other and each flavour is made up with a different type of alcohol in it. :o Not a jelly for a children's party! ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by LulieCat on Sep 8th, 2003, 9:10pm I could make vodka watermelons and champagne watermelons, if you like, but they take a couple of days. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Emma_N on Sep 8th, 2003, 9:20pm Please may I come to this party if I bring some booze?? I did come up with some nice ideas for Reg..... |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 8th, 2003, 9:41pm *doesn't drink alcohol but is willing to bring cakes instead* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Susan on Sep 8th, 2003, 11:55pm I've got a couple of bottles of wine I could bring |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Jennie on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:12am This party is for everyone at CBB. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 9th, 2003, 11:36am *decides that the booze side of things seems to be more than covered, so joins Xanthe on the cake bringing brigade!* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:17pm You can never have too much booze! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:19pm :o *looks suitably shocked* :o really Lesley! what would Miss Annersely say? *tries to ignore the little voice suggesting "make mine a double"...* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:26pm on 09/09/03 at 20:19:22, xanthe wrote:
But I thought you didn't drink, Xanthe? :P *goes off to make chocolate brownies for the party* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:28pm no no - that was the voice's suggestion for what Miss A would say about this! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:32pm Ah, I see! But I'm shocked by your libellous thoughts about the esteemed head of the CS!! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 9th, 2003, 8:32pm It's not my thought - I don't know what it's doing in my head... *looks round anxiously for a plot bunny* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 9th, 2003, 9:11pm Now you can't blame that one on those poor maligned little bunnies!! :P |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 9th, 2003, 9:49pm So do you think Miss Annersley's secret alcoholism should be my next drabble? ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 9th, 2003, 9:51pm *giggles* I'm sure you would handle it very sensitively... unless you were feeling particularly evil ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Carolyn P on Sep 9th, 2003, 9:52pm on 09/09/03 at 21:49:37, Lesley wrote:
Why not, we seem willing to do anything to anyone! ;) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 9th, 2003, 9:56pm Better let me recover from the last one first (Lesley still crying every time she thinks of letter!) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by xanthe on Sep 9th, 2003, 10:01pm Oh dear... *offers Lesley a hug and a hanky to keep on standby for times of need* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lesley on Sep 9th, 2003, 11:01pm Thank you *sniff* |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by KB on Sep 10th, 2003, 12:07am It was at that moment that the door opened. Fearful of discovery, the members of the CBB cringed into the shadows, but a sigh of relief when around when they saw that the interloper was none other than OOAOReg! He cast a look around the room and had the energy for only one coherent word, which he spat at them venomously: "You!" Then he fell to the floor and gibbered quietly while more and more girls assembled for the party. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 10th, 2003, 1:39am There were delicious sandwiches and cakes in abundance and plenty of booze and interesting soft drinks and more booze, and the arrival of the gibbering Reg took care of the entertainment! The party was soon in full swing............. |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Sep 10th, 2003, 1:54am Then someone had the bright idea of varying water torture. Reg, still gibbering, was tied firmly to a chair, which was then knocked over so that he was flat on his back. (Not too hard, people, you don't want to knock him out!) Then each and every member of the SSOR came with hands full of cakes and sandwiches and sweets specially made for the purpose. (You didn;t think they were all for us, did you?! Shame on you for a greedy crew! ;D ) which were then quite literally stuffed into Reg. Just as the last piece of food had been shoved into him, Vikki came forward with umpteen bottles of booze, and proceeded to pour them all down Reg's throat, while the rest of the SSOR stood round egging her on,,,, ;) PS I seem to remember Vikki saying something about working in a bar. Thus! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 10th, 2003, 2:04am Glad you clarified your reason for making me the one to force the booze into Reg! I wouldn't want anyone thinking I was an alcoholic!! ;) ;) Anyway, on with the story...... .............Vikki concocted several cocktails to try on Reg, and finished the torture up with one which is known as "gorilla snot"! This had its customary effect, and everything that had been forced down Reg's throat made a speedy reappearance!! (Luckily all the girls had been expecting this and were stood well back, far out of vomitting distance!) |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Sep 10th, 2003, 2:11am Then the united staff of the Chalet School swept in and together with the SSOR, told Reg in plain unvarnished terms just *what* the thought of him and his cradle snatching. Between that and the results of Vikki's gorilla shot( weird name) there was barely enough of Reg left to put in a thimble! I would never dream of calling you an alcoholic, Vikki, so calm yourself! ;) Talking of alcoholics, write that story Lesley. We even gave you a start in the Venables thread ;D |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Vikki on Sep 10th, 2003, 2:21am Lisa, a "Gorilla Snot" consists of a shot of baileys and a shot of lime cordial, you're supposed to hold it in your mouth, and it curdles, so most people throw up! (I've also heard it called a "Cement Mixer") If anyone offers you one of these, my advice is to refuse it and run! |
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Title: Re: SSOR (FCS) Post by Lisa_T on Sep 10th, 2003, 2:25am Eurrgh. I think I'll take your advice. Sounds revolting! I like Baby Guiness myself- Baileys and Tia Maria. But I cannot stand mixing chocolate/ dairy with any form of citrus fruits so I doubt I'd even get as far as wanting to try it out! How do you manage to stay on for so long? I want to stay up but am starting to talk nonsense so I think I'll go to bed. Til later, folks! :D |
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