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Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >> Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
(Message started by: Lisa_T on Nov 7th, 2003, 3:24am)

Title: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 7th, 2003, 3:24am
Well, to explain. I was reading something on women's education and there was a chapter on school stories. Naturally, the CS was mentioned. However, after mentioning that various CS OGs get married etc etc, it then went on to say, 'apart from a sinister few Old Girls who returned as mistresses.'

Ta-da! Inspiration.

For the title at any rate. Substance- not a clue. A crossover with Halloween, maybe? (minus the guts, gore, new potatoes, mint sauce, and a cannibalistic Mary-Lou-cum-Rachel)

I hereby declare this thread open to anyone who wishes to get it going! ;) ;D

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 6:48am
Query: are they saying that all Old Girls are sinister? If so, I will assume that those Old Girls are going to be the subject of our story...

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 9:15am

on 11/07/03 at 03:24:45, Lisa_T wrote:
Substance- not a clue. A crossover with Halloween, maybe? (minus the guts, gore, new potatoes, mint sauce, and a cannibalistic Mary-Lou-cum-Rachel)


Well you sure know how to take the fun out of life!

Rachel ~ who isn't currently workling on ANY drabbles and would have volunteered to write the first chapter of this until she saw the unfounded slurs on her personality!

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 9:32am
What, just because you weren't allowed to write any of the things you know how to do best?! ;)

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 9:42am
Yay! KB Thinks I'm the best! Yippee! Calloo callay etc etc.

And speaking of sinister old girls, the most sinister of the lot just HAS to be Joey herself! I mean, what kind of witchcraft is she using to remain so "slim" by the end of the series and after seven pregnancies and eleven children. Purleeeeeeeeze!

Of course, if you want a really "Sinister Mistress" tale, you can't help but think about people like Grizel. Can you imagine having to be taught by a Mistress who is in the school legends as being bitter and biting, and then she comes back to the school for a profession she hates, and makes life an utter misery for her pupils! I have visions (she said in a dreamy voice that came as absolutely no surprise to anyone else) of scared young middles getting up in the middle of the night, draped in garlic, carrying silver crucifixes and trying to hammer stakes through Grizel's heart. Well, it's what I would have tried anyway!

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 9:48am
"Oh, not again!" groaned Grizel, waking up once more to find the room pungent with the scent of garlic and the remnants of a wooden stake on her chest.
Sitting up, she brushed the wood aside and took off the metal chest-protector she wore to bed each night before looking at her timetable to see who she could terrorize today...

That the sort of thing you had in mind, Rachel?

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Jennie on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:24am
Oh dear, what's going to happen now, when we all get our very fertile brains to work on this?
;D

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachael P on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:40am
*groans" And after all my endeavours to make Grizel more sympathetic!

"Aha" she grinned evilly and cackled, (in a way very reminiscent of Rachel the Witch,) as she ran a finger down the day's classes
"I see I'm accompanyiny Mr Denny as he tries to teach the  little dears to sing -I think we can have some fun there"
And tucking her broomstick deftly under her mattress, along with her book of spells, she left her quarters to rap sharply on the bathroom door that she shared with her crony, Biddy O'Ryan.

"Hurry up!" she yelled.
"I'm washing my hair!" was the riposte.
Grizel groaned, this would obviously take some time. The long black tresses of the Irish teacher swung below her hips. If truth be told, Grizel was deeply envious that Bridget's locks were so very stereotypically of the Dark Side ......

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Abi on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:43am
She wondered if there was any possibility of stealing it for her own use, and opened up her "Little Book of Everyday Spells" to see if there was a recipe for it.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:56am
<"My work here is done," cackled Rachel happily, seeing that she had managed to push her fellow drabblers along the right lines. With that, Rachel jumped on her cat, and rode off to Carolyn's house, where she proceeded to take all of Carolyn's delightfully written drabbles and turn them into shameless parodies.>

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:07pm
Unfortunately for Rachel's ill-meaning plans, Carolyn had become suspicious at the similarity of her posts and those of Rachel and had contacted the good witch Hilda, who had created a force-field around Carolyn's house. Despite being painted in lurid colours and big 'Keep off' signs, Rachel was distracted by the sight of a hamster in a sports car and rode straight into the shield, smearing wet paint all over herself and the cat.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:10pm
"Mmmmmm, tastes like chicken" remarked Rachel, licking the paint from her fingers. The exceedingly high lead levels in the paint, to which Rachel was addicted, may perhaps explain some of the livlier imaginings Rachel had offered up to the CBB drabblers of late.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:26pm
*giggling but too dozy to contribute*
*ok, no embargos*
*sighs for whar Rachel will come up with next!*

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Katarzyna on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:37pm
Meanwhile Grizel had heaved the huge spell book out from under her bed and was going through the index..... "hair, hair, ah, there we go" she muttered under her breath.  "damn" she exclaimed having finally wrestled the spell book open on the page she thought she wanted "I don't want that type of hare"

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Abi on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:00pm
"Although, it could be very useful. I happen to know that Matron has an unreasoning terror of hares. hahahahahahaha!" she cackled with delighted evilness then banged once more on the bathroom door.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by xanthe on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:48pm
Mad , mad , mad, you're all mad... and I, as a result, am very much amused!

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Katarzyna on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:17pm
Grizel pulled her hand back cursing people with the dual gifts of witchcraft and second sight, as the flash of white light shot through the door
"i told you i was washing my hair" screeched biddy from the bathroom "and i haven't even begun to cover up my warts, i couldn't possibly teach looking like this the little brats would never get any work done"
"but Biddy" Grizel replied plantively "I've found the perfect spell, we can at last put our plans into action"

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:25pm
"Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha" came Biddy's reply. "Like I need YOUR help, to be sure."

"Biddy, when are you going to stop using that awful expression? You lived in Ireland for about three years of your life! Then you lived in Europe, and from the age of ten you lived at the CS, surrounded by English spoken the way wot its meant to be saided."

"To be sure, to be sure, acushla, but tis myself not knowing how else to be speaking, so tis," came from Biddy. "And if twerent for my talking this way, you wouldn't be distracted, so tis, when I cast this spell over you. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha" cackled Biddy, having successfully distracted Grizel enough to turn her into a hedghog.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Abi on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:47pm
Grizel, finding herself suddenly covered with spikes, ran down the corridor and ran them into the ankles of OOAOML, who was running along carrying a broomstick and being chased by an enormous hare.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Marianne on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:50pm
'erm...ok...' *says i, backing away slowly, 'men in white coats are on there way'

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Abi on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:53pm
On the heels of Mary-Lou and the hare came a whole posse of men in white coats.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by xanthe on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:54pm
The Lab technicians, who were never mentioned in the books and who were therefore engaging in industrial action.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Katarzyna on Nov 7th, 2003, 3:16pm
Unfortunatley one of the worst apsects of being on strike was the fact you didn't get paid and so the lab technicians hadn't eaten for a while.

The thought of either hare or hedgehog for dinner was appealing to their hunger.  After all when cooked both tasted like chicken

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 7th, 2003, 3:25pm
*tempted to wonder when Katarzyna (is that right?) last ate hedgehog*

..so on hearing Grizel and Biddy screaming about hair, they set off in hot pursuit, one of them carefully ensuring that they had an ample supply of mint sauce and new potatoes...

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Katarzyna on Nov 7th, 2003, 4:16pm
This was it the lab techs were finally going to get a meal... it had been several weeks and so the thought of fresh hare and hedgehog spurred them through the corridors

as they turned the corner into a blind bend they thought 'this is it, food at last'

a sudden bright lights and horrible sulphuric smell halted them in their tracks and they peered cautiously round the corner, disappointment etched on their faces as they realised their lunch had.....................

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 4:22pm
... fallen down the "lab tech trap" dug in the corridor earlier that day by Miss Annersely in an attempt to solve the pay dispute in the easiest and cheapest method available to her - murder!

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Katarzyna on Nov 7th, 2003, 4:51pm
The hedgehog and the hare glared at each other suspiciously from either side of the lab tech trap.  They were aware that they knew each other in this form neither could place the other

The sound of sweeping brooms made them turn their heads to the corner of the corridor from where the lab techs had appeared, the sound got closer and closer until..............

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Jennie on Nov 7th, 2003, 5:09pm
they saw , evilly grinning down at them, the chief of the Chalet School coven, Karen, the cook.

She soon stopped grinning and hissed, 'I have never such supid vitches before in my life seen. You vill get out of there, and go und your duty do !

Grizel and OOAOML looked sheepishly at one another (I was desperately trying to work in another animal, this was the best I could do), then slowly levitated out of the lab technician trap, and turning on the hapless men, cackled wildly and................

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 5:37pm
... shouted "MEN!!"

The poor Lab Techies threw down their brooms in fright, and ran screaming for the door, incidentally failing to notice that Hilda had loosed the dogs mere minutes before.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 7:38pm
They sped across the grounds, barely managing to keep in front of the braying hounds, dashed through the gate spearating the school grounds from Freudesheim and banging it shut behind them sank to the ground panting.

That this may not have been a good idea slowly dawned on them as a shadow drew across their panting bodies...

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Catherine_B on Nov 7th, 2003, 7:46pm
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" shrieked the head technician, as Hilary Burn - games mistress and owner of the school's fastest broomstick - towered above them in her terrifyingly pointy hat.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:54pm
Oh oh oh!!!!
You lot are insane!!!
More please!
*loving the madness!* ;)

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Tassie_Ellen on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:15am
*wipes tears of hysteria from her face and reflects that reading this kind of drabble at work is probably NOT a good idea  ;D *

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:18am

on 11/07/03 at 22:54:05, Vikki wrote:
You lot are insane!!!


don't think you can get out of being labelled insane that easily!

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:36am
I never said I wasn't insane, but  I can't be blamed for this one!!

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:39am
Well I didn't start it either!

(Does that make me not-insane too?)

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:51am
Nope! You've contributed to it, I haven't! ;)

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:53am
but, but, I, it, they, ummmmm

buggrit, I did, didn't I?

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:59am
You certainly did my love! :P

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:22am
Rachel, it was your idea that made me start it, so you're definitely involved! So where is it going to be taken next...?

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:48am
the lab techs screamed some more in fear as Hilary swayed above them. Their screams died down as they realised that she wasn't actually getting any closer to them, and in fact was beginning to spiral in a slow circle above them. When she was pointing directly away from them all, she said in icy tones "I would appreciate it if one of you could help  me down WITHOUT making any comments."

The techs grinned at each other, before the tallest reached up and assisted Hilary off the broomstick which was held up by a system of wires and pulleys attached to the school buildings.

Hilary reached the ground in one piece, and then looked sternly at the techs. "If you ever tell anyone about this, I'll, I'll ..."

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:50am
"I'll turn you into 'crosses!" she finished, remembering that the school sports store was running very low on lacrosse sticks at the moment.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Abi on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:23pm
The men shivered in their shoes and looked at each other and stammered "y-y-yes m-m-misss aanananananananaaanananananananan...."

"Be quiet!" she said in her most frightening voice. "You all sound like a bunch of squawking birds." The techs looked at her and at one another. Their eyes began to bulge as they stared. The fat one with green socks on spoke first.

"Do you know you've got feathers?" he remarked in conversational tones. Miss Annersley was staring at them too.

"What are you playing at?" she screamed in un-Headlike tones.

"Aha, wouldn't you like to know? Hahahahahahahaha!" cackled an evil voice behind her.

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by Jennie on Nov 8th, 2003, 4:05pm
It was the second in command of the Gornetz Platz coven, Matron Graves ( and very few knew how appropriate her name was. How many deaths had this woman been responsible for? Only Karen the cook had the power to intimidate and control her. But, I digress)

She began to scream at the assembled company, yelling in her rage...............

Title: Re: Sinister Mistresses at the Chalet School
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:08pm
(FYI, Matron Graves' real first name is Helen.)



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