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Title: Len opts out Post by Marianne on Aug 27th, 2003, 11:48am (i'm afraid a bright purple bunny attacked me, i kept telling it it was too like the Con thread of weeks ago, but it insisted, so here goes) Helena Maynard stared out of her dormitory window, as the eldest in her long family an ultimate sense of responsibility had always been instilled into her, but this really was too much resposnsibility. Her sister had nearly killed one of her peers in a raging temper, she had been told off, but so had Len. Joey Maynard had been angry when she heard of what her child had done but she had been angry with her eldest child too, she was used to len guiding her two triplet sisters and felt she shoould have in this instance - why hadn't Len prevented the incident. Joey had told Len so in a long letter that Jack had tried to prevent Joey from sending, but to no avail. len had recived the letter that morning and was genuinley upset by it, she felt rejected and unappreciated, she knew that Margot had a special place in her mothers heart as the frailest baby but this really was too much. Len saw her oppotunity to cause havoc and get her revenge, she picked up one of her won bookends and tossed it through a glass window, shattering it. (continue people) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Carolyn P on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:15pm Unfortunatly for Len it was not just the smashed window that was the result. She did not look to see where the bookend landed having relieved her feelings by throwing it. She left the dormy determined not to own up to breaking the window and decided to pick up the object from the flowewbed below. Len was confused when she retrieved it to find the object in question covered in blood and fur. A few minutes earlier her mothers St Bernard had escaped through the hedge and was eagerly inspecting a hole beneath a rose bush in the flowerbed when he was hit on the head by a bookend. Dazed the poor dog wandered around the grounds of the school unable to walk striaght or make his way home. Len missed meeting him by a few seconds, but by that time the damage had already been done. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:16pm ..causing people to wonder just what the problem with the Maynard triplets was at the moment since they seemed to have an alarming addiction to chucking bookends around on the flimsiest of pretences. (sorry, Marianne. I don't think I've recovered from last night's idiocy on the other threads so..! Anyway, I heroically restrained myself from killing Gaudenz at this point with that bookend.) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Emma_N on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:18pm No, you can not kill of the dog, Joey I have no problems with but please not the dog!! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:19pm Can I kill Gaudenz? *hopefully* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Emma_N on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:25pm Yes, but not the dog and not Miss Annersley (I gave her a bad enough time in the Venables thread ;)) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Esmeralda on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:29pm Yes, you can kill Gaudenz, you can kill anyone except Bruno or Minette! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:30pm Don't worry. I *did* say on the Venables thread that I wouldn't kill her off- don't want to! ** Ok, Unfortunately, when the St Bernard returned to Freudesheim, looking as dazed as a very large and very hairy dog can look, Anna realised that there was something fishy going on somewhere. Granted, she thought that the School was *completely* loopy, but neither they or anyone else on the Platz was in the habit of animal cruelty. She decided to track down the offender, and armed with a large meat tenderiser, cajoled the poor dog to lead her back to the scene of the crime. There she was horrified to find the prostrate form of Gaudenz lying stretched across the path... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Marianne on Aug 27th, 2003, 8:56pm *sigh* i suppose i asked for it with the bookend thing. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 27th, 2003, 9:02pm *agrees* Yes, well, it was a little careless having a lovely missile like a heavy bookend going flying out of windows. Naturally it had to connect with sommink! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 27th, 2003, 9:42pm .....With Len bending over him and administering CPR, in a frantic effort to revive the big man..... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 27th, 2003, 9:45pm Only as Anna looked closer, she started wondering whether in fact Len *was* administering CPR.. Note to self: Get brain out of gutter! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 27th, 2003, 10:03pm LISA!!!!!! Miss Annersley wants you in her office NOW!!!! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 27th, 2003, 10:08pm LOL! If I go I'll have to drag you along, my love. Do you *really* want to face the Abbess in a rage? (Mind you, that'd be a bit hard since last time I looked she'd been knocked out) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 27th, 2003, 10:21pm I've done nothing wrong! (not in this thread anyway! ;)) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 27th, 2003, 11:04pm Lisa, do you want to go yourself or do you want me to send you? You know it's ten times worse when a prefect reports you! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 27th, 2003, 11:24pm *Vikki chuckles, then hides before KB can decide to send her with Lisa to the study* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:14am Well, I suppose the only way to redeem myself is to get this drabble back on some kind of track, but my eyes are starting to give out. Right... CPR.. As Anna approached, her favourite nurseling looked up, and Anna saw that her face was streaked with tears. "What has happened?" Anna asked in breathless German. "I-I think I've killed him," Len whispered. Her face was white, and mentally she was cringing. What would happen now? "You have done what?!" the normally calm Anna shrieked. "You have killed him? My Gaudenz? Arrrrgh!" and with that she flung herself onto the fallen figure of the school's man of all work, leaving the shocked Len standing staring. *** Happy now?! Am I reprieved? Er.. well maybe not but this is suuuuch fun! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by BethC on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:25am As Len stood, still in shock, Anna felt a movement from underneath her and looked up. "Wait! There is life! You have not killed him!" Finding no response from the girl, she repeated her words, all the while searching for more movement from her beloved Gaudenz. Len began to shake. "No, I know - I wasn't talking about him!" "Then who-?" And, just as Anna realised that the movement she had felt was no more than the final spasm of a lifeless body, Len exclaimed "Him!", swung round and pointed at - |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:26am Didn't Gaudenz have a wife? ??? ??? Vikki *taking pedantic lessons from Rachel* (or was it Rachael) *feeling very confused by the Rach(a)el situation* ??? ??? |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:44am on 08/28/03 at 00:26:40, Vikki wrote:
Ah we're not worried about little details like that! ..the squashed mountain bunny that had chosen to be near Gaudenz just as that colossus fell.. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:51am causing the bunny to impale himself on his machete..... (he was a plot bunny in training, hence the machete!) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:53am And as Len had adopted and trained the bunny in the correct usage of the machete, she found herself without her most potent weapon of (dare I say mass?) destruction. This had been opting out on a grand scale, but now all her plans were demolished.. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:02am But Len had forgotten how resilient plot bunnies (even those who are only in training) can be! The bunny struggled to his paws, pulled his machete free from his leg (I didn't say what bit of him had been impaled!), and limped over to Len. "What are your orders mistress?" he asked, saluting smartly.......... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:04am *silent hysterics* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:10am Vikki *fails to see what's so funny about the bunny* (Ooh, that rhymed!) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:13am Len heaved a huge sigh of relief. He was still usable, her plot bunny. Her original plan to get herself expelled for killing Gaudenz had failed, and now she was being driven to extreme measures.. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:19am ...."Get Anna!" she ordered the bunny, resolved to hit her mother where it really hurt! (her domestic help) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:24am "your word is my command!" the bunny returned robotic style. Of course, it was a robot! That was why Gaudenz's very um solid form had managed not to squash it first time round. The robotic plot bunny turned round and targetted Anna, who was still murmuring sweet nothings at the poor Gaudenz, who was feebly trying to fob her off. He had the terror of both his outraged wife and the potentially equally outraged Head (for different reasons- thought I'd make that clear ;)) before his eyes, and just as he was about to give up and resort to physical violence, his eyes widened as they spotted the bunny heading towards them with a determination worthy of a better cause.. Oh, I got an EBDism in! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:27am Gaudenz was actually quite pleased when the bunny disposed of Anna, it meant that, just maybe, his wife might not find out about his dalliance... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:30am But of course, since the bunny's bloodlust had been whetted, the bunny had turned his sights on Gaudenz. That unlucky person was left trying to simultaneously avoid the bunny's murderous pursuit whilst also trying to dispose of Anna's body without being caught by anyone of any consequence.. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:46am Luckily for Gaudenz, his wife appeared and battered the bunny................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. .........................she then proceeded to deep fry him, and serve him up at Mittagessen with heaps of kartoffeln, those delicious little fried potato balls, crisp and golden on the outside, creamy and melting on the inside......... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:49am Len, thwarted a second time, was now truly on the rampage! Enough of indirect action, she decided. It was time to go straight to the heart of things............................... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:51am on 08/28/03 at 01:46:42, Vikki wrote:
Although the girls complained a little about the various cogs, nuts and bolts they were forced to extract, and which chipped their teeth, necessitating one of Matey's dreaded teeth inspections and, for the unlucky few, a visit to the dentist. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:01am Matey took fifteen girls down to see Herr von Francius the next day. However, arrived at his surgery there was a shock in store for Matron. Herr von Francius had decided to become a full time naturist!! :o :o At first, Matey didn't know where to look, but once she'd gotten over the initial shock................. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:03am she decided that it would be an excellent opportunity for the girls to learn their biology in the most practical way possible! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:07am *KB groans and shakes her head* Here we go again... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:12am *crying with laughter at poor KB's despair* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:13am After much deliberation, Matey decided to elope with HvF......... (she felt that she was due a bit of happiness after all these years) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:15am on 08/28/03 at 02:12:25, Lisa_T wrote:
Thank you for what I think is sympathy. Here I am, trying to set a good example as Head Girl... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:16am While the girls, who had been too overjoyed at the prospect of avoiding HvF to notice anything particularly odd about him, were highly indignant to find themselves abandoned. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:19am But then realised what a stroke of luck it was to be left to their own devices like that....... |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:22am ...and bolted from the dentist's surgery, straight out onto the road, thereby fulfilling the prophesy of every mistress who had ever taken the girls out on an expedition and warned that they wouldn't want to go back at tell Miss Annersley that one or more had been left on the road as strawberry jam. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:25am Matey, deciding the HvF wasn't her type after all, came looking for her mislaid charges and found a horrible gooey mass on the road. "What in the world?" she thought. Then enlightenment dawned.... and she whipped out a handy jar, filled it with the mess, and returned to school where she plonked the jar with its unplesant contents on the Head's desk. "What's this, Matey?" the Head gasped. "I'm afraid to tell you, Hilda," Matey began, "but I've left all of the bad teeth people on the road as strawberry jam, and here's a sample to prove it!" |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:27am "Oh, well," Hilda shrugged, "as long as there weren't any Bettanys, Russells or Maynards, it hardly matters." |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:28am "Oh well," said the Head "we can always sell them at the Sale" |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:29am "Er, well, that's what I have to tell you," Matey stuttered nervously. "All of the triplets were there, so was Maeve Bettany and Ailie Russell. And Mary-Lou offered to come too and she was included in the holocaust.." |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:31am "Exellent! About time we had some new blood in this place!" |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:31am "And thank goodness," the Head exclaimed, editing her comments to make them fit. "Not about the triplets, Maeve or Ailie, but Mary-Lou. I'm so glad to be rid of her at long last! As for the others, do you think we could whip up a few waxworks?" |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:34am "EXcellent idea!" Matey agreed enthusiastically. "All we need to do is tell the parents that we're going into quarantine for TB and that the girls won't be able to come home. In the meantime, we'll get Nell Wilson and Rosalind Yolland to make the waxworks, and give the parents a showing of our famous 'Mrs Jarley's Waxworks' entertainment." Matey ruminated for a sec. "We might have to edit the lyrics, however..." |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:36am "Let me see what I can do!" Hilda exclaimed. "You go off to bed, Matey, and I'll start thinking!" |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 2:38am "I think I'll take your advice," Matey said, and headed bedwards *like me!* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 3:07am The show opened a week later and all the parents were invited. The rows were filled with excited girls, several wax dummies and enthusiastic parents. As a finishing touch, Miss Annersley had also invited the girls who she considered to be responsible for the recent mayhem on the board. Miss Wilson had sacrificed herself and was once more got up as the portly Mrs Wilson, and the other staff had been pressed into service. Mrs Jarley cleared her throat as Chopin began to play. "If one day you find that your good character is flat - And no one believes the stories that you told - Or, say, you try to claim that they've slandered your good name, Don't allow yourself despair, you must be bold. Just pull yourself together, allow not one tiny blether And remember you should never borrow trouble. Just trot out both bright and e-arly, and visit Mrs. Jarley, And she'll provide you with your very double. So go to Mrs. Jarley on the spot If you believe you're acting like a clot. She will straight provide your double And that little bit of trouble Disappears, for what you'd have, your dummy's got! If at once you choose to throw a bookend through a window, And have it land on the lumb'ring garden man, Or had your own plot bunny die in a way far from funny, You'll want your actions heading for the can. Though your behaviour needs no defect if you want to be a prefect You couldn't keep it up the whole term through - If you've suddenly found bedded the Head with a man who's wedded And you have no idea what you should do - Then go to Mrs Jarley on the spot. For she cares for your actions not a jot. She will simply make a dummy Out of anything that's yummy To take for you the chaff you should have got! If you brain is in the gutter and you're starting now to stutter 'Cause your every sin is herewithin enlisted Then don't jump on poor KB, who was only here, you see, To write down your sins as her poor glasses misted. But if you find you aren't a true CS girl and can't See yourself being a credit to your school Then I think I have a way to brighten your rainy day Just do as I say - don't act like a fool! But go to Mrs. Jarley on the spot. When you need time out - a little or a lot. For a waxwork in your place And you'll soon be filled with grace And your dummy has the strife you should have got. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Ray on Aug 28th, 2003, 9:14am on 08/28/03 at 02:07:22, KB wrote:
KB - with these two involved, you're *surprised* where things have gone? Ray *sigh* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Ray on Aug 28th, 2003, 9:17am OK - I withdraw my last post. 1) KB you're as bad as Vikki and Lisa 2) That's hysterical! Ray *side-splitting* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 10:18am KB, you're a genius!!!!! I LOVE your Mrs Jarley song!! (Something tells me I might find myself errupting into unexplained bouts of hysteria throughout the day!) ;) ;) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Chloe on Aug 28th, 2003, 10:20am That song is so cool KB :D |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Rachael P on Aug 28th, 2003, 10:54am Most excellent, KB ;D |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:37am *offers KB a hat three sizes larger than normal, to cope with the results of all this flattery* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Chloe on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:34pm thats mean it only needs to be one or two sizes bigger not quiet three (yet! ;D) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 12:55pm That's fantastic, KB! *pleased with herself for having suggested editing the lyrics* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Marianne on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:15pm You do realise that i've lost all faith in humanity don't you!? |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:17pm Poor Marianne! I must confess to a twinge of uncertainty at 3am about how we#ve hijacked your perfectly good thread, but oh well! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Marianne on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:21pm its all right, i did ask for it really - lol! :) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 1:32pm *looks guilty, apologises to Marianne and blames the sleep deprivation* ;) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Clare on Aug 28th, 2003, 4:52pm *Clare's lying incapable on the floor right now, with pains all over for having laughed too hard.* I need a tissue to wipe my eyes! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by catherine on Aug 28th, 2003, 9:16pm What will you lot do next?!! On second thoughts, do I really want to know?! You're incorrigible!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 9:36pm Admit it Catherine. You enjoyed it! |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by catherine on Aug 28th, 2003, 9:41pm Admit nothing!! Well, all right, I did. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 10:50pm *complacent smile* Thank you all for those kind words. :D And Marianne, maybe you could write the story properly and put it up on Liss's site for us all to see how it should have gone. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:49pm I'll second that suggestion! It'd be quite nice to read a CS story without death, plot bunnies, adultery, immorality, post menopausal pregnancies or Dr Who, for a change! ;) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:15am SAys she who contributed to any and all of these! I think we should be aiming for balance- some that are totally off it, others like Catherine's 'Growing Pains' which forces the CS as we know it to confront a real issue, and then a third category again which is real EBD CS. In fact I'm so impressed with this suggestion I'm going to import it into the ratings thread. |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:52am Hey! I tried to sort out Dr Venables by making it all a dream! Who was it who introduced Dr Who? ??? Vikki *really can't remember and now can't check because the thread's been swallowed!* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Ray on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:01am Not guilty. I accept responsibility for briefly introducing Power Rangers, but I equally quickly wrote them (AND the Doctor) out. Someone else then brought him back. Ray *knew her cause was lost and went with the flow* |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:24am *still upset at the loss of a potential literary masterpiece* (especially since I hadn't read anything on it which was posted after about half two this afternoon >:() |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Lesley on Aug 29th, 2003, 6:42pm on 08/29/03 at 00:52:42, Vikki wrote:
Sorry Vikki that was me! Well it was half past five in the morning and i was on my way out the door to work - just thought that it should be an English sci-fi sub plot and i was brought up on Dr Who! (Remembers cowering behind sofa looking at Daleks through fingers as kid!) |
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Title: Re: Len opts out Post by Carolyn P on Aug 29th, 2003, 7:45pm That's nothing. I was taken to a Dr Who exhibition as a kid, in Blackpool I think and had to be carried out screaming. A Darlek had moved towards me saying "Exterminate". I was v. scared. My dad has never let me forget it either. I would have been 5 or 6 at the time and was genuinly terrified. :'( |
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