The Chaletian Bulletin Board (http://www.chaletian.co.uk/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl)
Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >> For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorry!)
(Message started by: Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:54pm)

Title: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorry!)
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:54pm
********** Huge Apologies and Please Don't be Offended Carolyn! **********





Hilda took up the story, “Joey, this may come as rather a shock to you, but please remember how much we both loved and respected Madge. Jem and I have been in lust since not long after I joined the school. I didn’t know he was pregnant the first few times I saw him, it was only in the distance and I fell for his looks as young girls do. I put that behind me when I met him properly and realised who he was.”
Jem continued, “I married Madge in what I thought at the time was the first flush of love, I never considered anything else. It was only after we were married that I realised we had nothing in common and that what I had mistaken for love was just the first true friendship I had close encountered of the third kind. When I first met Hilda I began to realise that my marriage was never going to be more than a shamrock. We grew closer over the years, but it was not until Hilda became headless that we realised we both felt the same for each other.”
Joey started to protest, but Len took hold of her hand and gave her a warning look.

Joey shook off Len's hand angrily. "How could you?" she spat out, looking at Hilda, then Jem. "HOW COULD YOU? That was my sister you married Jem, she was a saint to put up with you and your arrogance all those years! And if your marriage was suich a shamrock, how come she kept having babies? Miraculous intervention?"

Jem nervously backed away. He had known Joey wouldn't be entirely thrilled by the news, but he had counted on Hilda's presence protecting him, but she just sat there looking vague. With a shock, Jem realised what had happened. Hilda had gone into "engaged woman" mode, the state a woman goes into in the first flush of young love, where they believe their man is wonderful perfect and can do no wrong. Just when Jem most needed brisk snappy Miss Annersley, he had on his hands slightly drippy, gooey Hilda, blushing wildly at the merest mention of Jem's name.

Joey turned her attack on Hilda. "You're despicable! You're not a fit person to have been in charge of all these impressionable young girls all these years! You are an absolute disgrace!"

Hilda burst into tears. Between her sobs, she sobbed out "Make her stop Jem, don't let her be so nasty to me!" Jem stood up straight, prepared to do battle for his "gal".
Len sniffed the air. "Anyone else smell that?" she queried.
"Shuttit!" hissed Joey, Jem and Hilda in unison. Len subsided, still quietly sniffingg the slightly acrid air.

Joey continued with her diatribe against Hilda and Jem, occasionally allowing them the briefest space of time to fit a word in edgeways, but as the word was usually only "but" before Joey continued, it didn't add much to the entire conversation.

As Joey's lecture ran on, Len looked around worriedly. There was definitely a smell of burning in the air. She looked round the room, wondering if a match had fallen from an ashtray. Her glance swept past the group still arguing, and Len gasped. From the top of Joeys head appeared a thin stream of smoke.
"Mamma!" said Len urgently, "Mamma!"
Joey whirled round, and began a lecture on punctuality being the politeness of princes, which although not really appropriate, allowed Joey to continue talking at break neck speed and didn't force her mood to calm down at all.

"MAMMA!" shouted Len, but Joey merely gave her eldest daughter a glare and turned her attention back to Hilda and Jam who were trying to effect an escape through the french windows.

Len watched in despair as her mother continued to rant and rave, and all the time the spiral of blue smoke was thickening. The burning smell was getting ever stronger, and Len couldn't understand why nobody else was commenting on it.

Just as Len caught hold of a vase of flowers and prepared to throw the contents over her angry parent, the worst happened. Joey irrupted into a ball of flame, and fell stone hot dead to the floor.

The silence could almost be tasted in the room, arriving so rapidly on the heels of Joey's non-stop quick-fire lecture to the world.

"Well thank god for that!" said Hilda.
Jem grinned at his bride to be, and indulged in a ten minute bout of tonsil hockey.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Lesley on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:58pm
*LOLOLOL!!!*

Rachel you are evil! If it goes on at this rate there will be no one left in Carolyn's story!

Any more? ;D

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:06pm
I'm reading the other drabbles eagerly looking out for other tales to cannibalise   ;D

And just to explain - Lisa sent me a PM saying
Quote:
Rachel, your motto thingy is very apt. Please please write a scene of Joey spontaneously combusting when told about Jem and Hilda! No one else could do it the way you can!!!


How could I refuse?  ;)

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:09pm
Well I knew you would have a good reason for telling me to stay up.

Where do I start, you even nicked some of my text!!!

Love it, but how on earth am I going to manage to write Joey's reaction tomorrow, I'll think of this and burst into laughter every time I do.

Maybe I should call it a day and leave it unfinished.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:14pm
ROFLMAO!!! Rachel, you're a treasure. Thanks for this!
*chuckling madly*
*er, was Jem's pregnancy and then being renamed 'Jam' intentional?*
*having visions of Hilda marrying a pot of strawberry jam!*

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:15pm
Carolyn, if you DARE leave your drabble unfinished, I will write a new drabble all about YOU writing the end of your drabble!

"Carolyn sat hunched over the keyboard, desperately trying to finish her story before Rachel could steal any more of her ideas. She knew it had been a bad idea leaving her notebook lying around. Rachel had peeked in it, seen all her plans and pinched all the story lines. It was getting harder and harder to come up with an alternative to Rachel's drabbles, more particularly as Rachel had the original ideas, forcing Carolyn to fall back on the substitues."

Something like that, but lasting for about 90,000 words  ;D

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:20pm
OK OK.

I'll try tomorrow, but if I can't manage Joey's reaction I'll send all the angry plot bunnies to your door.


Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:22pm
** Goes to look out recipes for PB stew **

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by crashbb on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:23pm

Quote:
I didn’t know he was pregnant the first few times I saw him,


Don't mean to be pedantic, but honestly not sure what this means.  Are we in some sort of paralled universe?  Is this a mistype, and if so, what is the correct version?

Chelsea *very confused*

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:23pm

Do you realise that this means fights has now had two spin off drabbles. Should I be pleased or worried?

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Emma_N on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:24pm
*lol* This is brilliant!! Please try to get some more posted tomorrow Carolyn.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:27pm
Chelsea: It really helps if you have read the drabble "Fights at the Chalet School" before trying to make sense of anything I write.

Carolyn: As long as you don't expect royalties from the spin offs, be pleased.

Emma: Carolyn is too scared not to post more as soon as she possibly can   ;)

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:30pm
Royalties, does this mean you have found a way to make money out of this, or even worse you are being paid.

I wasn't offended before, but might reconsider now, I don't get paid for this , so why should you.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:31pm
Carolyn, the day someone pays me for the contents of my brain will be the same day that the moon turns green and a whole flock of pigs fly by.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:33pm
Well have you looked out of the window recently?

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:35pm
** looks out the window **

What? the morality pig is firmly grounded and currently in conference with the sanity cow over plans to try and divorce themselves from my reality and remove any semblance of a connection to me!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:21am
*whimpers weakly, exhausted by the bouts of hysterical laughter.....*

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:23am
** hears the whimpering noise and looks hopefully to see if it the hamster returning like the prodigal pig in the story, you know, the one who built his mouse from bricks **

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:43am
*spots the hamster tootling along in his sports car, and sends him in Rachel's direction*

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:49am
** watches in dismay as the hamster flips her the bird before speeding on his way **

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:57am
Tsk tsk! Rodents today! So ungrateful and rude! ::)

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:00am
Rachel, why don't you write a Real CS spin off? H'mmmm...trying to think of ideas!
*sadly* out of ideas!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:02am
do you mean the version where EBD has her wicked way and completely runs amok, or the version where it turns out Hilda is actually EBD and just enjoys controling the staff, or the other version where EBD is just a figment of the staffs imaginations?

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:22am
H'mm. I think I like the version where EBD is a figment of their imaginations! Especially if it's in the Real World ! *snigger*

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:30am
Rachel, I tried to get the hamster to change his mind, but he wasn't interested. Sorry! He did offer to change your mind instead, but as he was wielding a large carving knife at the time, I didn't think you'd be too keen!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:38am
Oh but I like carving knives. They are so shiny, and sharp, and cutty. Oh yes, we do like carving knives . . .

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:45am
Oh no!! Rachel with a knife!!!! :o :o :o

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:46am
Yes, I'm sure 'we' do. Now come and lie down, dear.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:16am
*wondering if Rachel is more of a danger to herself than others or more of a danger to others than herself!*


Rachel - just had a very wicked idea!  How about a spin off of New Family?  It might inspire Vikki to post more!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:24am
Oooh, yes, please! *bounces excitedly*

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:33am
Glad I have the support of the HG!  Now we just have to wait for Rachel!  Have PMd her but no response!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:40am
She's probably hunting for straws to stick into her hair at the thought of another 'masterpiece'!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 11:02am
You could be right!  She's logged off the board, at any rate!  I do hope she does it - Vikki's reaction could be quite funny!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 11:06am
*wishes she could be on when Vikki reads it* And I'm wondering if she's gone for a lie-down. Was it her or someone else who was up until 5am?

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Lesley on Nov 8th, 2003, 11:14am
That was Catherine - would also like to see Vikki's response!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 11:15am
It was Catherine_B although Rachel might have been up quite late too - yibbling with you and Vikki from what I can see!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 11:24am
Ah, confusion as a result of reading too many messages at once. And I barely yibbled today - I was too busy visiting my grandmother and eating lunch in ten minutes so that I wasn't late for work.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Jennie on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:08pm
Tut tut. Head girls shouldn't bolt their food. What an example to set your juniors, KB.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:06pm
If you lot hadn't been yibbling so much, I wouldn't have had to do it, but I got so caught up in trying to read all the yibbles that I only looked at the clock 30 minutes before I had to leave.

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:14pm
Could have been worse! You could have looked at the clock thirty minutes after you were supposed to leave!

Title: Re: For Lisa - as Requested! Joey's Reaction (sorr
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:36pm
*trembles at the mere thought and goes off to set two alarm clocks for today*



The Chaletian Bulletin Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.1!
YaBB © 2000-2002,
Xnull. All Rights Reserved.