|
||
|
Title: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternative. Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:22am Many weeks ago someone posted something about Jo that suggested this story. It is dedicated to Vikki and KB who encouraged me to write it as a therapy for my RL problems at the time. It has taken me until now to finish and polish it a bit. As other have said before me please be sympathetic it is my first serious attempt at a story for many years. I will post it all together. Here goes. Jo Bettany was practising piano scales on the schoolroom piano in the big form room. To say she was practising was a bit of an overstatement. Her fingers were wandering up and down the well-known scales but her mind was far, far away from her present surroundings. Jo had come to the Tiern See with her much older sister Madge to start the Chalet School the previous April. At first Jo had been happy at the school. She loved the area; the lake and mountains were really beautiful. She had made many friends in the hotel owners and peasants who lived around the lakeside. The school had been an instant success, growing from three to eighteen girls in a matter of days. In the beginning, Jo had really enjoyed being with the other girls in lessons, and sleeping in a dormitory instead of a lonely bedroom had been fun. Latterly, though Jo had become very discontented, she hardly saw her beloved sister, she had to call her Miss Bettany not Madge and whenever she wanted to speak to her someone else always wanted her too. To add insult to injury, the evening before, her sister had told her that two other English girls would be spending the summer with them, as neither of them was wanted at home by their families. As all these memories and thoughts were flooding through her mind Jo began to realise her sister did not love her anymore, she had all these other girls and Mademoiselle and Miss Maynard too. If only Jo could do something to make her sister love her again. She smiled a secret little smile as she remembered pranks the girls had played at her suggestion and which had caused problems and upset to some of the staff and girls. ‘Fancy Gisela taking the water to Mademoiselle not Madge’, she thought. ‘What a goop’. Then her mind wandered to another prank played by Grizel Cochrane, one of the girls who was to spend her summer holiday with the Bettany’s, which had resulted in Grizel being put in solitary confinement. Grizel had vaselined the blackboard in each classroom and been rude and defiant to Miss Bettany when she had investigated the prank. ‘Madge won’t love her too much in the holidays then,’ thought Jo with a grim satisfaction. Now if only she could find a way to get between Madge and Juliet Carrick, the other girl who was to go on holiday with them. Then Madge might love Jo best of all. Thought of her beloved sister brought to mind the last conversation Jo had had with her sister. While she and the others had been making their beds, Madge had gone to the dormitory. Jo’s heart had leapt at the sight of her sister, thinking she had come to take Jo off for a private talk. No such luck. Madge’s first words had put that idea straight out of Jo’s head. “Girls! Which of you has seen Grizel Cochrane this morning?” None of them had as they all eventually assured the worried headmistress. Some of them wondered if she had run away. Miss Bettany had soon dismissed these ideas as nonsense and went to find Mademoiselle and Miss Maynard to help her search the house and grounds. Eventually the girls had finished making their beds and Jo and a French girl Simone Lecoutier had gone to do their piano practise, and as we have seen Jo’s mind was anywhere but on her scales. Suddenly, a thought came to Jo’s mind. She knew where Grizel had gone. A few weeks previously some of the girls had gone for tea with the parents of two girls who attended the school, Bernhilda and Frieda Mensch. Herr Mensch had been born and brought up in the area and knew all there was to know about the mountains and legends of the district, and had lost no time relating them to the eagerly listening girls. He had told them about one of the mountains called the Tiernjoch, which looked very menacing and was dangerous to climb due to a precipice three-quarters of the way up. As Herr Mensch finished his story, Grizel declared her intention to climb the mountain one day, and she had mentioned it on and off ever since, even though Herr Mensch told her it was not a climb for children and young girls. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:25am That’s where she’s gone,’ thought Jo. Suddenly another thought struck her, if she could go and bring Grizel back then Grizel would be in serious trouble and Madge would love Jo so much for being brave and fearless and saving her the trouble of finding search parties. With Jo to think was to act, so she rushed off to the splashery for her raincoat and beret. As she was about to leave the school she realised it would be better to let someone know where she had gone then they would have time to reflect on her unselfishness. So she dashed into the little music room where Simone was doing her practise and gasped, “Simone, Grizel’s gone up the Tiernjoch! I’m off to fetch her back! You must stay and tell Madge when she comes! Goodbye! Before the astonished Simone had taken in half the sense of what she said, she had gone. Thus it was when Miss Bettany came back worn out from her search she was met by a tearful Simone who sobbed out “Jo has gone after Grizel!” but couldn’t remember where it was Jo had gone. Much walking practise in the area had toughened Jo up, she thought, and she would easily catch up with Grizel who would walk slowly thinking she had all day for her prank. Jo soon passed the dried up place that was a fast flowing stream in the winter, and came eventually to the bottom of the mountain and had a rest before beginning the stiff uphill climb. After ten minutes or so Jo mentally girded her loins and began her climb. Up and up she toiled getting hotter and hotter and more out of breath. ‘Can’t stop and rest,’ she thought. ‘Must get her back!’ She began to get a stitch in her side and her legs where really aching but she toiled on, her heart was thumping and her breath was coming in short gasps when at last she saw an alm above her. This put fresh heart into her, as she knew she would be able to have a rest and buy milk from a herdsman. As she struggled onto the alm she chanced to look up to the sky and noticed with a shiver that the clouds were closing in. ‘I’ll soon find her now’ thought Jo and we’ll be on our way down before any nasty weather comes.' Jo bought her milk of the herdsman and enjoyed her drink. ‘Why didn’t I bring anything to eat,’ she wondered as she drank it. ‘Oh well, soon be home again.’ Then she lay down for a rest. Jo was not quite as strong as she thought she was and she soon fell asleep. A while later a fresh breeze blowing across her face woke her up. ‘Where am I?’ she wondered at first. Her memory soon came back and she stood up ready to go on. It took Jo a few minutes to wriggle the stiffness out of her muscles before she could set off. A long while later she came up to the precipice with still no sign of Grizel. Gingerly Jo walked along the edge of the precipice, trying not to think of the stories Herr Mensch had told her of people falling down it never to be seen again. After what seemed like days, but was only a couple of hours, of walking Jo reached the top. The only problem was she had not found Grizel! At the summit she sank to the ground under a boulder and fell instantly asleep. When she woke this time Jo was even more stiff and her foot hurt where her shoes had rubbed. Obviously Grizel had not climbed the mountain where was she? Nothing daunted Jo set off to climb down the mountain. Luckily the clouds she had seen earlier had either blown away or the mist had come and gone whilst she was asleep. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:28am As Joey descended the mountain her thoughts went to her beloved sister. ‘Madge would be so proud of her for climbing the mountain all be herself.’ For the first time since she had left the school Jo thought of the message she had left with Simone, it was peculiar Madge had not sent a rescue party out after her. ‘Of course!’ the thought came unbidden, ‘Madge trusts me so much as I’m her sister to do a decent job alone.’ This happy thought lent wings to Jo’s feet and she made good time down the mountain, her mind full of the smile on her sister’s face and all the hugs of praise and congratulation she would get on her return to school. By the time Jo got back to the valley darkness was beginning to descend and she could hardly put on foot in front of the other. ‘Why couldn’t Madge have come this far to meet me?’ Jo grumbled in her head as she stumbled again and again. Slowly Jo made her way down the valley seeing the lights twinkling in the chalets and hotels dotted about. ‘Soon be home now. Soon be in Madge’s study, being cuddled and loved,’ she thought. ‘Oh thank goodness there’s the fence and the gate.’ Wearily, Jo opened the gate in the fence round the Chalet School and stumbled up the path, and in at the door. Still no one came to meet her. She could hear noises coming from the Speisesaal, meaning the girls where having Abendessen but the tired girl could go no further and lay where she had fallen just inside the doorway. After a while Marie, the cook, was crossing the hall to take more coffee to the Speisesaal when she spied Jo’s still form. Her cry of “Fraulein Joey!” Reached the ears of the elder sister at her place at the table. With a quick murmur to Mademoiselle, Madge left the room and hurried to sister’s side. “Oh Jo! You wicked child. Where have you been? The men from the valley have been searching for you until dark, but couldn’t find any trace of you.” Jo tried to sit up very confused by this. What had happened to all the love and praise she was supposed to get for being so brave? Madge seemed to be treating her as if she was just another naughty schoolgirl not a loved baby sister. ‘Of course,’ she didn’t understand. As she tried again to sit up Jo said “Bbbut, Mmadge….” “Not now Jo,” Madge said. “We are half way through Abendessen, so I don’t have time to listen. You can go and have a bath,” this last as she took in the dishevelled state of her sister. Then you can come to the study and have some supper and explain exactly what you have been doing to me in private.” With a singing heart Jo made her way upstairs to the bathroom. ‘Of course Madge couldn’t make a fuss of her where the other girls could hear. She would do it in the study while Jo ate her supper, before she told the others how wonderful Jo was. With these thoughts in her head Jo’s sore feet and aching limbs didn’t feel so bad. It took Joey a while to ease herself in and out of the bath but she knew once Madge realised her bravery she would soon anoint Jo’s aches and pains with some ointment that would ease them. With great difficulty Jo climbed out of the bath, and after drying herself thoroughly, into her pyjamas and dressing gown, then made her way down the stairs to the study. Entering the study she found Madge standing by the fireplace awaiting her arrival. Excitedly Jo began an account of her adventures. “Josephine,” Madge cut right across Joey’s opening sentence. “Where have you been all day? Why did you run away and leave no message for me?” Jo was dumbfounded. Where were the loving cuddles, the pet names? Why hadn’t Simone passed on her message? She tried again to tell Madge what had happened but was so excited her words tumbled over themselves in a torrent that made absolutely no sense to the elder sister quietly fuming by the fireplace. Taking a look at Madge’s face Jo faltered to a stop. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:30am In a quite but controlled voice Madge said “ Slowly please from the beginning, so I can understand it all.” Taking a deep breath Jo began from where she had had her bright idea at the piano that Grizel had gone to climb the Tiernjoch. Then how she had decided to follow her up the mountain. The sisters were interrupted at this point by the arrival of Jo’s supper tray. Jo’s eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw on the tray a steaming plate of bread and milk accompanied by a mug of warm milk to wash it down. “But Madge…” she began to protest. “Just eat it Jo. Then you can finish your absurd story before you go to bed.” Nearly choking Jo swallowed the bread and milk then the mug of hated warm milk. Seeing the empty plate and mug, Madge told her to put the tray on a side table and to continue her story. Jo finished her explanation and was surprised at the end of her narrative that instead of flinging her arms round her and murmuring “Joey-baba.” Madge merely let drop the one word “Why?” Jo began her story again from the beginning. After a few words Madge stopped her by saying, “Jo, I heard you say you climbed the Tiernjoch but I want to know why. You were supposed to be practising before you did your mending. Why were you so disobedient and why the Tiernjoch of all places?” Seeing the forbidding look on her sister’s face Jo decided to be succinct. “I thought that was where Grizel had gone. So I decided to fetch her back. I left a message with Simone, honest injun I did. But I couldn’t find Grizel. I think she may have fallen down the precipice.” With this Jo sat back, a satisfied smile on her face; now the loving words would come. Instead of rushing to her side Madge rang the bell for Marie, them went to stand by the window until a knock at the door heralded the maid’s arrival. At the knock Madge went swiftly across the room to give Marie a murmured message before she could enter the room. Closing the door Madge crossed to her desk and picked up a letter, indicating to her small sister that she wanted no conversation to take place. After a few minutes another knock sounded at the door. Laying down the letter she had been playing with Madge called “Herein.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:31am Slowly the door opened and Jo struggled to sit up and look towards the door she hoped to see Marie with a proper supper for her. As the figure came round the door Jo’s eyes widened in shock. Standing just inside the door was Grizel. “Come here Grizel, dear,” and stand by the desk please said Madge in her normal warm tones (much warmer than the chilly ones she had been using to Jo). Turning to look at her wide-eyed little sister she added, “Now Jo repeat that rigmarole for Grizel’s benefit please.” Still stuttering a little from the shock Jo told her tale again, while inside she wondered where Grizel had been. When she had finished Grizel burst into a peal of merry laughter. “Oh, Jo!” she cried. “You always did take me too seriously. Me climb the Tiernjoch, that’s too much like hard work. I prefer walking on the flat.” Jo stared first at Grizel then her sister as it slowly dawned on her that perhaps she had made a mistake. “Tell Jo where you were Grizel” Madge said. “I was looking out of the window of the room last night before I went to sleep and realised what an idiot I had been and decided to apologise to Miss Bettany but she didn’t come to see me. When I woke up this morning I decided to do something to show how sorry I was as well as apologise in person so I got up early and started the first lot of apples stewing for Marie. Then I remembered hearing Miss Bettany say she needed stamps and toothpaste from the shop so as soon as I knew it would be open I went to the shop hoping Miss Bettany would understand.” Giving the headmistress a worshipping look that many girls were to imitate over the years Grizel added rather ungrammatically “And she did.” “Thank you Grizel,” said Madge. “That will be all. Please do not tell anyone about this until I give you permission.” As Grizel left the study, Jo burst into passionate sobs. Crossing the room Madge came and sat beside her waiting for the storm to abate, but did not touch her. When it appeared that Jo’s tears were becoming hysterical Madge pushed a cool hanky into her hand and said, “Now Jo, this has gone on long enough. Calm down and tell me all about it.” Choking back her sobs Jo muttered “Madge you love Grizel and Juliet more than me.” Madge was astounded. “Whatever makes you say that Jo?” she asked. Jo listed all the woes that had culminated in her disappearance that morning. “I never heard so much rubbish in all my life,” Madge cried. “I was merely trying to show Grizel and Juliet a little compassion. I also wanted, as I would have you did, to let them see what a normal family life should be like. If you had waited a little I would have told you that the Marani's are taking them for the first week of the holidays so we can have some private time. Now you can just hop off to bed and think about what you are really saying when you say the Lord’s Prayer and lets have no more of this insane jealousy. As if I would stop loving you after all this time but you need to get used to sharing me a little” Wearily, Jo made her way to the door. As she put her hand out to open the door Madge’s voice came to her again “At prayers in the morning you can apologise to the school for spoiling their day today. And the village men who were out searching for you are coming at 10:00 hours so you can apologise to them too. Oh and Jo if you are stupid enough to start an illness over this you will still attend lessons, as any girl of your age who is able to climb the Tiernjoch alone is strong enough not to have an illness or fit of the vapours each time she doesn’t get her own way, or is disobedient.” As Madge finished her speech Jo crawled through the door realising she had behaved like a small child not a schoolgirl and vowed once the apologies were over she would do better. Unfortunately human nature being what it is she did not succeed. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Vikki on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:44am Sue!! This is wonderful!! And so very possible!!! I can totally see Jo doing exactly that!! *big huggles* :-* :-* :-* (of course, you do realise that we will now expect you to continue writing, don't you?) |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:50am That's what I was afraid of. I decided to post tonight before the New Year and I may not have time tomorrow. However now I have sat on Carola my creative Bunny for a while, I may be able to listen to Monty the Plot Bunny a bit more. I did promise myself I would be in bed a bit earlier tonight but it hasn't happened. Oh well if I can cope with this time and work I can do it while I'm on holiday. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Vikki on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:59am Well, I love the story, and I know what you mean about early nights! I keep telling myself I'm going to go to bed early, but then I end up yibbling!!! |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Kathryn on Dec 31st, 2003, 4:00am Please continue. I'd love to see where the drabble will go with Joey like this. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Lesley on Dec 31st, 2003, 8:43am Susan, I love this - it's probably a more realistic telling of the story than the original! Please continue - so good to see Grizel as the good one for once! ;D |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Carolyn P on Dec 31st, 2003, 10:08am That was great Susan, really welll written. Thanks a lot. Look forward to lots more from your pen, and bunny. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Esmeralda on Dec 31st, 2003, 10:27am Wel done Sue - I remember you saying you were going to write something, but I couldn't remember what it was. This is really good, you definitely have to carry on writing now. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Annie on Dec 31st, 2003, 10:56am Wowee! Please carry on. I'm enjoying this. ;D |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Rachel on Dec 31st, 2003, 12:45pm Totally frabtastic Susan! Wouldn't you like a little chant Susan? A itsy-bitsy one set to a nursery rhyme perhaps since it's your first looooooooooooong story. How many words will it end up I wonder? |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Dec 31st, 2003, 1:06pm Thank you for your appreciation I was really worried about posting it as you all write such good stories. This was supposed to be just a short story but there may be a little more and Monty was whispering a new idea a while ago that I now have time to write down. Don't know how soon you will get it though as I'm taking Mum shopping soon and am out tonight. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Rachel on Dec 31st, 2003, 1:15pm Hope you have a great night out Susan, and come home with lots of nice ideas for further drabbling purposes :) |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by xanthe on Dec 31st, 2003, 1:46pm *applauds happily* thank you Sue :-* |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Vikki on Dec 31st, 2003, 7:37pm *hopes Sue and mum have a great night and Sue writes lots more!!* |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Jennie on Dec 31st, 2003, 9:56pm Great, Sue, I'm hoping for lots more. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Abi on Jan 1st, 2004, 1:05am Sue this is wonderful, hope you write more in the near future! |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Catherine_B on Jan 1st, 2004, 1:24am Thank you Sue, it's great to read a complex Jo. I always thought it must have been weird for her having to treat her sister so formally in school, and can definitely see her feeling isolated like this. I'll be really interested to see where you take this. It's also lovely that you've started writing! I'm really pleased :-* |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Cathy on Jan 1st, 2004, 7:56am This is great, Susan! Thank you for writing a more realistic Tiernjoch and for giving Grizel (who I always preferred over Jo) a fair go ... |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Lisa on Jan 3rd, 2004, 10:16pm Thanks Susan, I've just found this and really enjoyed it. It seems so realistic and believable! Well done for attempting the writing again - good luck with it, it's great so far. I know last year in particular (and the previous few) have been very difficult for you, but hopefully you will find writing an outlet/catharsis/way of relaxing that will benefit you - and us ;D |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by KB on Jan 4th, 2004, 6:55am Sue, that was excellent writing. I can't help feeling the teeniest bit sorry for Jo, though... |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Susan on Jan 5th, 2004, 1:36am on 01/04/04 at 06:55:21, KB wrote:
I never believed I'd hear you say that. You may also feel even sorrier for her if the PB has his way. Problem with writing an alternative story is that you need to do research and I haven't much time at the moment - back to work tomorrow (oops today). |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Esmeralda on Jan 5th, 2004, 1:38am Work is a blasted nuisance - but please try to find time to give your pbs their opportunity to make us feel motre sorry for Joey. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by KB on Jan 5th, 2004, 1:48am on 01/05/04 at 01:36:00, Susan wrote:
Yes, I don't know what's wrong with me - I'll be feeling sorry for Mary-Lou next! |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Vikki on Jan 5th, 2004, 2:09am KB!!!!! *looks shocked* I can't believe you said such a thing!! Go and wash your mouth out!!! |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by KB on Jan 5th, 2004, 2:11am I'm sorry. *hangs head and trudges away* |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Vikki on Jan 5th, 2004, 2:21am *runs after KB and huggles her, and tells her not to worry this time, but don't let it happen again!* |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by KB on Jan 5th, 2004, 2:25am *thanks Vikki for her kind consideration and cheers up* |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by LauraT on Jan 5th, 2004, 11:02am This is really interesting Susan. Although (I hate to say this, I feel such a traitor!) I'm beginning to like Joey (gasp) more than Madge! |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Jennie on Jan 5th, 2004, 11:53am Laura, these tendencies are very worrying. Perhaps you should get some help for them. May I recommend the reat of Cookies and Drabbles? Try the Narnia/CS crossover, and see how unreasonable Jo is being towards Susan and Lucy. that should put things back into perspective. Dr Jennie signing off. |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by LauraT on Jan 5th, 2004, 1:01pm *huggles Jennie for successfully removing me from the realms of insanity!* Isn't it odd, though, after reading all the drabbles actually going back to reading the books! Personally, I think our versions of the characters are better....! I was highly distraught last night reading two or so chapters of Mary-Lou at 2am in a vague attempt to sleep, realising that she hadn't murdered anyone yet! ::) |
||
|
Title: Re: Joey, Grizel and the Tiernjoch - an alternativ Post by Rachael on Jan 5th, 2004, 3:13pm Sue, I'm so far behind with drabbles that I decided to pick out a few by author to get me started again and yours is one of the first ... This is quite brilliant - and I totally agree that it's a realistic alternative ... in fact, if Madge had treated her like this a little bit more often she may turned out a wee bit less interfering! I found the portrayal of all of them very realistic despite the very different outcome from the norm! Poor Simone - it all seems to have hinged on her forgetting that Jo said "Tiernjoch" - I wonder what the next scene would have been between her and Joey? Can't believe you've kept us all waiting for so long before posting a drabble of your own! More of the same, please! :) |
||
|
The Chaletian Bulletin Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.1! YaBB © 2000-2002, Xnull. All Rights Reserved. |