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Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >> Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteria!)
(Message started by: Rachel on Nov 4th, 2003, 11:50pm)

Title: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteria!)
Post by Rachel on Nov 4th, 2003, 11:50pm
Rachel crept through Hilda's bedroom searching for a small locked box that she knew was in the room somewhere. having failed to remeber from the drabble exactly where the box was kept, it took her some time, but eventually she found the box in the cupboard, cunningly hidden under a pile of dirty linen.

Casting Hilda's knickers aside with her foot, Rachel brought Hilda (I mean her letters  ;D ) out of the closet, and carried the box over to the bed.

In total defiance of all Matey's strict instructions, Rachel bounced cheerfully up and down on the bed a few times, before removing a hairgrip she was wearing for just this occasion, and picked the lock on the box.

The lid flew back, the box being stuffed to the gunnels with letters going back through the years.

Rachel picked out the letter from the very bottom of the box, realising that someone with a mind as orderly as Hilda's would obviously file all her personal correspondance from back to front.

Kicking off her shoes, Rachel leaned back and opened the first letter, her eyes growing round and bulgy as she read the contents.

"Oh. My. God!" she exclaimed aloud. "The drabblers will never believe THIS!"

Chucking the letter to the floor, Rachel drew out the next, and the next and the next, reading each one rapidly before going on to the next.

"Wow!"

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 4th, 2003, 11:53pm
PB have certainly bitten you tonight haven't they.  ;D

So what did you find. I know the content and who from obviously, but Hilda hasn't actually shown me one of the letters.

Do tell!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 4th, 2003, 11:55pm
I'm really sorry about this Carolyn, but I thinnk the Abbess may have lied to you about the content AND the sender! Just wait til you hear what I found next!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 4th, 2003, 11:56pm
Yes, do tell Rachel!!!
*very curious!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:03am
*not happy with these smug people who show off about knowing things the rest of us don't* Very un-CS-like!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:04am
*cautious- I don't want my little illusions shattered!*
*ah forgedit- what DID you find, Rachel?*
*recipes for human stew, by any chance(?)*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:04am
Rachel read her way through all the letters, then scrabbled around on the floor, gathering all the letters back up before reading them all again.

Helping herself to one of Hilda's secret stash of Mars Bars from the bedside cabinet, Rachel allowed herself a small grin and a chuckle, spraying the letter she was currently holding with a nice mix of chocolate and saliva.

"I've got to share at least one of these with the drabblers," she thought aloud. Her thoughts always had an annoying habit of appearing visually and making squeaky noises, rather similar to the noise a hamster makes on a wheel. A very old hamster on a very rusty wheel.

Browsing through the letters once more, Rachel selected one she thought the most typical of all those in the box, slipped it in her bra, and headed for the door.

Arriving back in her own home, by the miracles of modern modems, Rachel set to work scanning the document, saving it as a word file, copying and pasting it onto the drabbles board of the CBB.

After one more squeaky thought process, Rachel thought to log off of her own name and post the letters incognito, to make sure the Abbess would ever find out who had rummaged through her dirty laundry.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:07am
I'm off to bed, but look forward to reading the rest of this when I get in from placement tomorrow teatime.

Wonder if Rachel will accidently come up with the right person, or is she also going to keep us hanging on until I reveal.

Night Night.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:07am
I'm glad you at least posted it anonymously, but I'm still worried she will know who it was!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:10am
*wondering if the bit about rummaging in Hilda's dirty laundry is supposed to be taken literally or metaphorically*
*considers Rachel is involved and decides both are real possibilities!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:19am
Very clever, Lisa!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:32am
"Dearest dearest darlingest Miss Annersley" the letter started.

"You are such a babe to have some up with this idea! And now the rest of them will really have to sit up and take notice of me for once! And I'm sure you are wrong about the stigma - this is the swinging somethingies after all!"

Rachel paused in her copying, wondering whether it would be too shattering for the drabblers to read the rest of the letter.

"Ah, sod it!" she said and carried on.

"I'm sure no-one will ever suspect there is no school inspectorate type job, but instead you'll get the year off that you need, whilst still being able to draw your salary. You've put enough time into the school, I think you more than deserve it! Give me a call when you have the dates finalised, and we can make sure you get here ok. It's going to be great!"

Rachel paused once more. Would the rest of the drabblers understand enough from this letter, or should she go back and collect a couple more, purely for the back up evidence of course!

The hamster squeaked on on it's lonely trudge through the wilderness known as Rachel's brain, before finally she came to a decision. "So many of them can't see the obvious in front of their noses - I better go back and get some more!" With Rachel, to think was to procrastinate, so she settled down to have a kip before heading back through the modem into Hilda's bedroom.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:35am
*offers Rachel oil to solve the squeak* This is very funny! I hope we won't have to wait long for more!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:36am
*giggles* I KNEW it was gonna be dirty laundry. OK, Rach, spill the rest of the beans!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:38am
You'll have to wait at least until tomorrow as I am now going to bed!

But, oh, those letters!         ;)



(BTW you should get Chap. 7 tomorrow  ;)  )

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 5th, 2003, 1:49am
Oh, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!!!!
*shakes head in despair*
*stops pretending to be shocked and demands the next bit*
*can't wait to see what Rachel's fertile little brain comes up with!!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by crashbb on Nov 5th, 2003, 3:43am
Is the swinging 'somethingies' the censor gone haywire, or your doing Rachel?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 3:48am
My guess is that it's Rachel being a little unsure as to which decade this story takes place in.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:07am
Well done Rachel. I wonder if I can guess where you are going with this?

Looking forward to tonight.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:25am

on 11/05/03 at 08:07:22, Carolyn P wrote:
Well done Rachel. I wonder if I can guess where you are going with this?


Feel free to PM me your guess, and tell me if you want to know if you are right or wrong.


Oh, the revenge!    ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachael P on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:18am
Inspired, Rachel!!

MORE, please

*knowing I'm going to get confused between these letters and Carolyn's!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 11:14am

on 11/05/03 at 10:18:04, Rachael P wrote:
*knowing I'm going to get confused between these letters and Carolyn's!*


No need for confusion - these are the real letters and any others you may hear about are simply pale imitations.

:P

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 11:28am
Rachel woke from her nap wondering vaguely why she appeared to have an oil slick down one side of her head. She was unsure whether the evil sound of a hamster sniggering made the situation better or worse, but decided to forget about it temporarily - she had more thieving to do!

Back in Hilda's bedroom, Rachel made her way back to the closet. Moving an article of lingerie with her foot, she let out a chortle of humour. Hanging from the toe of her boot were a pair of red silk undies.

"Well well well, Hilda!" said Rachel. "I guess you like to make sure knickers and MA gowns match."

Wondering if the other drabblers would appreciate the humour of the situation, Rachel went and had another bounce on Hilda's bed, stopping only when an ominous "boing" sound told her she had bust the springs in at least three places.

With her usual short attention span rapidly running out, Rachel grabbed a handful of letters and stuck them in her bra once more. Pausing to reflect on her choice of storage facility for the letters, Rachel wondered why more people didn't make use of the perfect stash space. "After all," she mused, "You have to take your boobs everywhere with you in a bra, so why not buy larger braas and use the on board space?" Grabbing a handy sheet of paper, Rachel quickly made some sketches and notes explaing the principles behind "Bra-Bags" and asked the hamster to remind her to send off for a patent upon returning home.

The hamster groaned. This was possibly the most embarrassing aspect of his job. He could still remember the day Rachel had come up with the idea for "The Ultimate Dinner Companion". In theory, Rachel thought this her best idea ever, but Hamster strongly disagreed. The idea was simple. You bought a "companion" for the evening, got to bore them stupid with all your worst anecdotes and stories about your own boring life and when they spontaneously combusted, they would be found to be carrying new potatoes and a jar of mint sauce. Voila! Company AND dinner rolled into one!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:32pm
*hysterical giggling* Rachel, I have a feeling that those new potatoes and mint sauce are becoming something of a fixture around here....

MORE!
*giggling* at the match between the undies and the gown. My MA gown had just the exact shade of red in the hood that's used for underwear, but I have to say I'd never made the connection before!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 12:51pm
Rachel sat at the keyboard and finished stuffing lunch down her throat. Lunch today comprised a couple of packets of crisps and a nice jar of beetroot fresh from the fridge. When she had finished eating, she carefully wiped her mouth on her left sleeve, blew her nose on the right sleeve and then settled down to work.

"Dearest darling Miss Annersley," the second letter opened.

"You know babes, it reelly is all gonna work out fyn. After all, no-one is EVER going to suspect you! And my reputation is kinda shot to pieces already, so it don't really matter no more what I get accused of!

Hurry up and let me know the dayts, and I promises I will make sure no-body ever finds out. This is for both our benefits!"

Rachel grinned. The other drabblers couldn't see the physical letters of course, so were unable to see where Hilda had carefully gone through all her personal correspondance correcting spelling, punctuation and grammar in a nice shade of red pencil. Apparently Hilda occasionally lost the will to live and her attention wandered from correcting to doodling in the letter's margins. Bunny rabbits for some reason. Rachel wondered what a psycholololologist would make of the connection there!

Attention span decreasing at a rate of knots, Rachel decided not to finish the current letter. It was all fairly boring stuff anyway, claims of adoration, appreciation for similar claims of adoration obviously in the letter this one was a reply to, and lots of "cute" names for Miss Annersley.

"I wonder," thought Rachel, as the hamster cranked the wheel up a notch, "if there's some kind of link here everyone has missed up until now. I mean, Annersley is almost like the name Lesley! Wow! Bet they all missed that."

The hamster could be heard to burst into tears at yet another example of Rachel logic, but got his revenge by peeing in the seldom used "sensible" corner of Rachel's brain.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lesley on Nov 5th, 2003, 1:18pm
*Lesley has just sprayed coke over her, until then, pristine keyboard. She is now attempting to breath through the effects of inhaling half the glass!*

Rachel you have an evil mind - more please!!!! ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 1:29pm
Forgettfully running a hand through the oil slick that had once been her hair, Rachel picked up another letter and propped it up against the monitor ready to start copying. She was bored. She wanted to get to the good stuff, but knew it was necessary to increase the drama until the point at which a minimum of twenty drabblers screeched "Who are they from?" And the good stuff was SO good, it was a crying shame having to deal with the more mundane correspondance of Hilda's life. With a big sigh, and rubbing her oily hand on her trousers, Rachel set to work on the next letter.

"Dear Hilda Annersely.

You have been selected as a finalist in the first annual Writers Digest £300 prize draw! You are a guaranteed winner! You have definitely won a prize valued at 2 shillings , but the possibilty is there to win so much more! All you have to do is..."

"All you have to do is ... quit using so many <censored for the protection of young innocent minds> exclamation points!" shouted Rachel at the letter, ironically as it turned out she used an exclamation mark in her criticism of too many exclamation marks.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Abi on Nov 5th, 2003, 1:35pm
*screeching* [/i]who are they from??????[i]  :o :o :o

this is wonderful Rachel.

*gigglegigglegiggle*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Abi on Nov 5th, 2003, 1:36pm
ooops sorry I forgot three question marks turns into a smiley - i didn't mean to, honest!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 2:48pm
"Dearinglist,

Mother is doing her nut! I can't bellieve how badly she is reacting - or should I say OVER-reacting! I never for a moment expected her to go off on one like this! Now don't worry, it doesn't change a thing between us, our plans still hold, and I will keep the promise I made to you that last night we were together. Do you remember that evening?"

Rachel gulped. Was this letter truly suitable for the innocent eyes and minds of the CBB. "Hamster," she called. The only response was a rude raspberry noise, usually indicative that Hamster didn't want to get involved.

As Hamster the hamster refused to be friendly and helpful, Rachel went to seek advice from her wisest counsellor - the Sanity Cow. (Aha! Bet you all thought I'd eaten her by now!  :P )

"Sanity Cow," began Rachel in the most respectful voice she could mimic. "Could you tell me if this letter is suitable for the corrupted minds of the CBB drabblers or not?"

Sanity Cow sighed, flicked her tail and looked sternly at Rachel. "How many times do you need to be told?" she asked in ominous tones. "I am the SANITY Cow! You need to go and ask the Morality Pig!"

Blushing furiously at making the same mistake yet again, Rachel trundled off round the farmyard of her mind, and eventually located the Morality Pig reading a book half hidden by a brown paper wrapping.

"Morality Pig, Morality Pig, Help me now if you can," chanted Rachel. Pig rolled his eyes. For some reason he had never yet been able to fathom, Rachel appeared to think he had to be spoken to in rhyme, or failing that, a sing-song voice that she believed fooled the pig into thinking all the words rhymed.

"What do you want this time?" Pig asked, not forgetting the last moral dilemma Rachel had brought to him which had consisted of the question of whether it was appropriate for Barbie and Ken to be left alone in a room at night time despite Rachel being unable to find a marriage certificate for them.

Rachel held out the letter she had been typing up on the drabbles board.

"Could you tell me,
if this lettee,
is suitable for the,
corrupted mindies,
of the CBB,
drabblers or is it not to be?"

she asked, making a valiant effort at turning her question into poetry.

Pig groaned. "That's even worse than your version of the twelve days of christmas!" he commented, before putting on his reading glasses and looking over the letter.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 5th, 2003, 5:41pm
OW, Ow, Ow!! *sides aching, tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks*

Do continue, please.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 5th, 2003, 6:30pm
Rachel, is it wise for you to give us this degree of insight into the workings of your mind? ;)

*goes back to giggling hysterically!!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lesley on Nov 5th, 2003, 7:08pm
*Giggling too much to say anything!* ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 5th, 2003, 7:30pm
*returns after recovering*
*come on Rachel, more!*
*I'm thinking of bringing you back into Tara....hoping that a little bribery will work..*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by catherine on Nov 5th, 2003, 7:38pm
*Seriously worried about Rachel's state of mind!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:06pm

on 11/05/03 at 19:38:02, catherine wrote:
*Seriously worried about Rachel's state of mind!*


Shouldn't that be; "Seriously worried about the state of Rachel's mind"?

You know, what with the farmyard, and the hamster pee in the corner? ;) ;) ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by catherine on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:28pm
I thought it was one and the same thing, but never mind.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:44pm
Nope! There's a subtle, but important distinction!!!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by catherine on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:49pm
Which is?


(Tired tonight and brain not functioning!)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 5th, 2003, 8:54pm
Well, Rachel's state of mind, is the way she thinks, whereas the state of Rachel's mind is what the inside of her brain looks like!! (In this instance, littered with puddles of Hamster pee!!)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 9:15pm
If you're worried by my brain now, just WAIT until you meet the Chastity Cat!

Rachel ~ uncertain whether to be offended or delighted by the comments!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by catherine on Nov 5th, 2003, 9:19pm
Ah, now I understand......................... it takes you to put that kind of perspective on things, doesn't it, Vikki?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Esmeralda on Nov 5th, 2003, 9:37pm
Only just read this and now totally overcome by giggles - Can't believe what I've been missing!
That chap who said there ewre only 7 stories in the world certainly reckoned without the imaginations of some CBBers

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:08pm
*unable to speak for giggling from the mental images that were contained in this* Please, Rachel, don't make us wait too long for more.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:11pm
Pig removed his glasses and looked at Rachel. She looked back, eagerly waiting the pearls of wisdom before the swine. She considered the last thought she had had and wondered if it made sense, or if it implied that she herself were the swine. A sniggering sound from Hamster confirmed it did.

"Well Pig of Pink," she asked Pig, "What do you think?"

Pig regarded Rachel with something akin to utter disdain. "You really don't want to know what I think," he muttered before handing back Hilda's letter. "But in this case I would advise you to stop running round looking for farm animals and use your own <censored> judgement!"

Rachel was disappointed, although took great pains to hide this by only bursting into loud snotty sobs. She clutched the letter in her sweaty little mitt and ran away from the Morality Pig as fast as she could manage in her boots which still had a pair of Hilda's knickers caught on the toecap.

Her hasty journey took her to the kitchen, and, taking a deep breath, she approached the fridge. Rachel took several more deep breaths before poking her head round the back of the fridge and reaching her hand into all the gunk lurking there and rummaging. Eventually with a cry of "Eurekaonions!" she pulled back her hand, and opened her fist to reveal a small, smelly, mouldy, crust encrusted, gunk drizzled life form. The origins of this life form were unclear, but currently it lived comfortably behind the fridge, seldom bothered and never sought. Until today. It looked at Rachel with a black scowl.

"Whaddayouwant?" it demanded in a hoarse tone.

"Oh Judgement, Morality Pig told me to come and see you about this letter!" said Rachel, hiccupping slightly after the efforts of sobbing and rummaging at the same time. Muti-tasking was not a common past time for Rachel, and her exertions were getting close to making her pass out with the efforts required.
Judgement grinned evilly, bearing a remarkable resemblance to Rachel's first husband (evil git that he is and was  :P )
"How stupid are you?" he asked. "You are so thick! You are so ugly too! You are the thickest ugliest person on the planet!"

This diatribe appeared to be able to continue into the next millenium. Suddenly though Rachel's face took on a look never before seen there. Yes, she actually looked sane for once in her life. With a very satisfying "Splurghhhhh" sound, Rachel clapped her hands together hard and had the pleasure of seeing the remains of Judgement oozing between her fingers.

Going back to the back of the fridge, Rachel rummaged round some more, and brought out a second life form, almost identical to the first but with one major difference. This one was also called Judgement, but had the christian name of Good.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lesley on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:27pm
This is getting seriously strange! Really worried that we will be in the same house as this person in only 4 months time! ;)

Rachel - please tell us about the letters!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:32pm

on 11/05/03 at 22:27:57, Lesley wrote:
This is getting seriously strange!


Don't think of it as strange - think of it as an alternative version of normal.


on 11/05/03 at 22:27:57, and then Lesley wrote:
please tell us about the letters!


Letters? what let- Oh! THOSE letters!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:36pm
Rachel you are worse than I am!

If you don't reveal who wrote the letters soon I will.

(will be doing so anyway in the next few days.)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:37pm
*hopes this won't be the version of normal we'll have to put up with*

Okay, I'm in pain from laughing, so I'll go off and have a shower. Might there be more of this when I get back? (Please?!)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:41pm

on 11/05/03 at 22:36:09, Carolyn P wrote:
Rachel you are worse than I am!


Success!


Quote:
If you don't reveal who wrote the letters soon I will.


Why do I get the feeling we may have two totally differing ideas about who sent those letters?  ;)


Quote:
(will be doing so anyway in the next few days.)


I refuse to rise to the bait . . . . this time!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 10:58pm
Good Judgement looked worriedly at the oozy mess stil on Rachel's hands.

"I think it would be a VERY good idea if you were to put me down on the table over there," he said, attempting to keep the rising panic from his voice.

Rachel, prepared to listen to good judgement coming from Good Judgement, happily agreed, and plopped the life form onto the table. GJ (for short ya know) slimed his way to the opposite side of the table as quickly and unsurreptitiously as possible. "Now," he said, "about this letter."

Rachel propped the letter up so GJ could read it and waited once again for words of wisdom. GJ read the letter through twice then sighed. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked at last.

Rachel, being currently distracted by the sight of the chastity cat wandering by, looked at GJ in confusion. "What's obvious?" she asked.

"This letter!" screeched GJ. "Pay attention for ONCE in your feeble little life!"

"Oh, the letter!" exclaimed Rachel, once again making use of exclamation marks. "What about it?" she asked.

GJ bravely pressed on in the face of obvious obtuseness. "I thinnk you should be able to see what the right course of action is with this letter. You were worried about the feeble brains of the CBB being corrupted, but surely they can cope with the idea of Hilda being invited to take part in a prize draw?"

Rachel looked at GJ. "A prize draw?" she asked slowly.

"Yes!" screamed GJ, "A prize draw!"

Rachel turned the letter round and read it slowly. "D'oh!" was her intelligent remark at this point. "This is the wrong letter!"

GJ gave in at this point and spontaneously combusted. Rachel looked hopefully for the new potatoes and mint sauce, but then sadly remembered she had never actually sent off foor the patent.

Wandering back to the keyboard, Rachel heard a voice saying "For gods sake get on with it!"

"The voice of reason!" cried Rachel happily, relieved that finally she was receiving some advice.

"No, the voice of KB standing at the door shouting through the letter box!" came the cross reply. "I've been stood here for nearly an hour knocking -  I thought you might need some help with those letters! Now, are you going to let me in or not?"

"Not!" called Rachel.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 5th, 2003, 11:03pm
LOLOLOL! Oh where's KB?! LOL!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 11:13pm

on 11/05/03 at 23:03:30, Lisa_T wrote:
Oh where's KB?!


She's off taking a much needed shower.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 5th, 2003, 11:32pm
The stunned sound of silence couldn't be heard from the letter box where KB still stood. "Why you wretch! I'll be back!" KB shrieked, before going off to hunt for a kindly Matey type person to give her a gargle for her throat.

Rachel ignored the comments, having already forgotten that KB was at the door, and turned her attention back to the letters.

"Maybe I should just tell them who signed the letters?" she pondered, before being overcome by her own use of big word in a thought. The shock to her system was too much, resulting in instant falling asleep at the puter, leaving Rachel with "Keyboard Face", a mild but irritating condition that alerts everyone to the fact that you have fallen asleep ON the keyboard yet again.

Whilst Rachel slept, the Chastity Cat saw it's chance, leaped on to her and immediately made itself comfortable in such a position that Rachel's virtue was completely protected.

Upon waking, Rachel realised CC (the cat!) had 'assumed the position' once more, and thanked it profusely. Of course, there was no man in the house, and not likely to be with the mental capacity Rachel had for scaring eligible men away, but she figured better safe than sorry and never wanted to find herself being 'busy' again!

Looking at the screen before her, Rachel gave a happy whoop of delight. In her sleep, she had typed a further 4829 pages of "A Change For Con", and was now nearing the 248,000,000 word mark. "I'll beat that JK person yet!" she cackled softly, unable to appreciate that no publisher was likely  to publish a book which consisted almost totally of the letters "gdsajhgrgrgbheg/ig kbgntrrngbehrbngenhgrb/"  (please note, falling asleep at keyboards whilst Word docs are open does NOT result in amazing "sleep typing" capabilities)

Saving her work, she closed the "Con" file, and logged back onto the CBB. She checked the list of drabblers currently online. "Hmmm, if I post the name now, not many of them will notice, so maybe I should type up the letter which explains WHY Hilda has had such a long correspondance with wossit?"

A telepathic thought came to Rachel saying "GET ON WITH IT!" Rachel looked round the room for the source of the words.
"It's telepathy," groaned hamster, "they aren't actually HERE!"
"Is anybody there?" asked Rachel in her special 'lets pretend we're at a seance' voice. "Anyone at all?"

Hamster replied in a sarcastic moan, "Nobody here but the hamster, cow, pig, judgement and cat!"

"And me!" said an extremely offended voice emanating from Rachel's foot region. "Don't you dare forget me!"

"Of course not," said Hamster. Going back to the 'seance moan' voice, the hamster added, "And a plot bunny".

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:15am
***** WARNING - Touching Scene coming up. Please make sure communal tissue box can cope with the demand BEFORE reading! *****

The plot bunny looked at hamster with great dislike. "You always think you're so clever!" sneered PB. "Sitting up there in that rusty wheel, occasionally making it squeak, even more occasionally telling Rachel the right answers. You're nowt but a FRAUD!" the bunny's accusation rang out. Hamster looked at PB. "You think I'm a fraud?" he whispered.

"Yup," said PB. "You're old, you smell and you haven't got any friends. You haven't even noticed for months now that Rachel forgets to buy hamster frioendly tuna, she buys the regular stuff these days! You've had it mate!" finished PB maliciously.

"No," whispered hamster. "She wouldn't do that to me! She ALWAYS asks for the hamster friendly tuna!"

"Check the cupboards sunny boy - it's all bunny friendly grub these days. Your days are over, sling yer hook, hit the road, bog off!"

The hamster couldn't believe the bunny could be right, but as soon as he looked in the cupboards, he realised he had been fooling himself too long. Sadly packing up his scant belongings from Rachel's brain region, he took a final look around the space that had so long been his home. With his posessions packed up, the space was vast, echoey and cold. No longer was this his special domain - he was now a wanderer, a nomad, a hammy-no-mates.

Hamster trudged slowly through the cat flap on his way, not missing the cheerful sound of the flap swinging back and hitting PB on the nose, but failing to respond to the humour. The snow was coming down in a dizzying drift, and was already as high as hamster's head, but there was no going back. Hamster walked out bravely into the ever deepening drifts, knowing this would be the last walk he would ever take.

Damn right it would be - he was off to the nearest car shop to buy himself a snazzy sports car!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:21am
This is getting extremely sureal.

Poor hamster. Although I do wonder where he got the money to buy a snazzy sports car.


BTW Rachel, I started a list of ideas for Christmas, I'll get on to it at weekend but I don't think 25 scenes will be a problem. Have you got the spuds and mint sauce handy? Now who should we cast as the fairy at the top of the tree?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:23am

on 11/06/03 at 00:21:22, Carolyn P wrote:
Now who should we cast as the fairy at the top of the tree?


I know who I'm planning to shove on top of the tree   ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Nicolette on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:23am
Oh Rachel *in a voice that mixes pity with delight* I don't know what to say. Except GET ON WITH THE NEXT PART!!
I'll probably laugh myself into a coma, but that's a risk I'm prepared to take.  8)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:39am
"knock knock knock" came from the front door.

Going to the door, Rachel called out, "Who is it?"

"Me, the Kansas Kangaroo!" came the reply.

"But we're not in Kansas anymore" replied Rachel, successfully remembering her part of the pre-arranged password. Unfortunately, the Kangaroo had never heard of any password, having never been told there WAS a password for delivering parcels to Rachel's house.

"Open the sodding door would you?" he asked in acid tones, learnt from his long studies of CS lore.

Rachel opened the sodding door, and looked at the kangaroo. He was holding his bicycle with one hand, and holding a clipboard out to Rachel with the other. "Sign here, here, here, here and here please," he said. Rachel as usual signed without bothering to read any of the words printed on the page.
"Woohoo!" came the voice of the hamster, delighted at having Rachel's signature on the HP agreement for his new car. Kansas Kangaroo winked at hamster before pointing to a large box on the doorstep. "All yours," he said, jumped on his bike and pedalled off as fast as he could.

Rachel dragged the large box into the hallway and untied the string holding the box closed. As the last piece of string fell away, KB stepped from her cardboard wrappings and looked at Rachel.

Rachel looked back. On her forehead, in neat printing, the words "To Let" were emblazoned. The PB, in a fit of evil PBness had inserted the letter "i" between the "o" and "L" without Rachel even noticing. KB groaned, This was going to be even harder than she had thought.

"Right," said KB, "let's get started!"

"Did you know KB," said Rachel, "Your name is very like the name PB!" Astounded once more by her powers of perceoption, Rachel beamed at KB and waited for the compliments to start rolling in. KB gave Rachel one of her best Head Girl glares. "Rachel," she said in an ominous voice. "THE LETTERS!"

Rachel started visibly. "Letters?" she queried. "What let- Oh, THOSE letters!" Rachel smiled proudly, pleased that she had remembered the letters once more.
"Yes, THOSE letters!" replied KB. "Where are they?"
"in the secret stash space of course," came Rachel's reply.
KB groaned again, her task becoming more obviously difficult every moment.
"Do you mean you've got them shoved down your bra AGAIN?" she asked.
"Yup," said rachel, "Hang on and I'll fish em out..."

KB shrieked "NO! Rachel, for goodness sake! At least go into the bathroom before you take your bra off!"

"Ok," replied Rachel, wandering off through the house trying to find the 'bathroom'.


Entering the sitting room again, Rachel spotted KB sat at her computer. "Whatcha doing?" she asked.
"trying to sort out the mess you've made of this entire revelation!" snapped KB. "Honestly! The things I have to do!"
"A bit like Mary-Lou," chuckled Rachel.
The colour drained from KB's face. "What did you say?" she asked in a whisper.
"I said 'A bit like Mary-Lou'," repeated Rachel, always happy to oblige for someone who obviously wasn't 'all there'.
KB sat back in the chair, stunned at the horrific accusation Rachel had flung at her. "I am not like Mary-Lou," she got out at last.
"Ok" said Rachel. "Only, when you came butting in to my house, in my drabble, in my parcel I thought you were. My mistake."
With a howl of pure anguish, KB leapt from her chair, ran down the hallway and fled through the cat flap.
Rachel sat down in her puter chair, having already forgotten that she had had a visitor only seconds before.
"Now, what was I about to do?" she wondered. "Oh yes, the letters!" Once more Rachel logged in to the CBB and started to type. This time, she wouldn't transcribe the letters. This time she was merely going to tell the drabblers Hilda's secret.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Kathryn on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:45am
Well.....Get on with it then!!!!!

*Kathryn getting fidgety awaiting the revelation*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Nicolette on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:45am
Poor KB! How offensive!
Rachel, this is excellant, but are we ever actually really gonna learn Hilda's secret. Or will you persist in teasing us forever more?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:52am
Actually I am waiting to see what method KB is going to use in order to slay me before I post the rest!

That way, she can't be too nasty, because the rest of you will protect me in order to have the final revelation    :D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 6th, 2003, 1:10am
ROFL! Oh poor KB! I wish she'd hurry up. It doesn't take this loong to have a shower. Rachel, just where did you get those kangaroos from? You didn't catch one of mine, did you?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 1:15am

on 11/06/03 at 01:10:40, Lisa_T wrote:
Rachel, just where did you get those kangaroos from? You didn't catch one of mine, did you?


It just showed up at my door doing a terrible impression of a plot bunny! Then I made the mistake of actually daring to laugh at it's costume, and that was it! He refused to return to Tara until I worte him in to this drabbles, with the results as seen.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 6th, 2003, 1:42am
Well, I've been sitting here giggling like an idiot for the last five minutes!!!
Rachel, I have no idea how you come up with these things, but I'm very glad that you do!! ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 4:51am
*wails (amid peals of laughter)* What did I do?!?! I'm copping it on all sides today!! It's not fair!! And I don't care how many exclamation marks I use!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lesley on Nov 6th, 2003, 5:08am
*Giggling like crazy!!!*

Not a good idea at 5.15 in the morning! I'll have the neighbours complaining!

More please Rachel!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 5:11am
All right, Lesley, I've been dying to ask you this for ages, but I was too polite before. What on God's green earth are you always doing awake at that awful hour?!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Lesley on Nov 6th, 2003, 5:26am
Got to leave for work before 6am KB - otherwise the M25 will be too busy! Means I get there by 7.30 ish but at least that means I have half an hour to work on next part of Real CS before starting work!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 5:33am
Okay, that makes sense. Only I see you regularly on at this hour and often wonder...

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 6th, 2003, 8:08am
Rachel, *warningly* you had better hurry up or I will beat you to it.


This has had me in stitches, love the idea of KB as OOAOML. Now how will she cope with that and staff baby?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 8:31am
*sobs bittely while privately wondering whether people really do see me this way and dislike me as much as everyone dislikes (I won't use 'hates', just in case you do) me that much*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:12am

on 11/06/03 at 08:31:20, KB wrote:
*sobs bittely while privately wondering whether people really do see me this way and dislike me as much as everyone dislikes (I won't use 'hates', just in case you do) me that much*



eh? Could we have that again in English please?   ;)

And we all love you SO much, that's why we include you in all our drabbles! You should be flattered, it's a compliment really. (Back me up here Lisa!)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:22am
Rachel yawned and looked at the keyboard. Her eyes felt gritty, and she looked, quite frankly, a mess. She tried to drink some coffee, but slopped it over the keyboard as usual. She supposed she ought to get on with telling the drabblers about the letters, but she knew the Revelation would be Shocking, Distressing and True. Realising she only had eight minutes left before she was due at college, Rachel rubbed her bleary eyes, and got on with typing.

She opened the CBB, and clicked on the relevant drabble, and then hit "reply". The little white box glowed at Rachel, making her eyes hurt some more. And those smiley faces were still there! Rachel was sure she had zapped most of them at some time or other with the pointy thing on screen, but those faces just kept coming back.

For a moment, Rachel considered using some of the lovely options available, being particularly tempted by the big green blob, Tempted, but able to resist because it wasn't a chocolate covered big green blob.

The silence in Rachel World was stifling. No squeaks or sniggers could be heard, and there were no longer any reminders being shrieked at her twenty times an hour. Rachel paused in her typing, reflecting on how lonely it was in her head without a brain.

Looking at the top of the screen, she saw she had a new PM, and Rachel happily clicked on it, forgetting that doing so would wipe out all she had typed so far. It was from'Liss the Fluffy Bunny', demanding that Rachel stop harassing KB, under pain of being forced to stay on the drabble boards for a seventy two hour stretch without pee-pee breaks. Rachel sent back her standard reply ~ "sg[.jfdngbdf nbvgfrju hgnb gbekjrbhgrefdgbhirn bghtrg brh gks b jkhgb dfhgbghk jfdgbn dkfjnbfjd nbfdjbn dfjnbhfd;igjoiea/gj fegj lkfgnbfdmhg nboer j'ai utre'oyu j;rej yro; ejeo;p'e etprt !"

Back once more to the drabble reply box went Rachel, and this time made up her foot to stick with it until the job was done. Slowly, one finger at a time, Rachel typed the message the drabblers had been waiting so long to hear.

"Hilda's letters were fro-"

"Blimming cat!" shrieked Rachel, as the CC leapt on her knee, landing claws side down.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:35am
*thanks Liss for sticking up for me*

And I will consider myself flattered, if you say so, Miss Author. And while we're talking about it, do we get to see if the cat has sent off that teasing message?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Trish on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:39am
ROTFLMFAO

This is hysterically funny Rachel!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:42am
Rachel clutched at the cat's body, and tried to pull it off her leg. The CC, becoming frightened, dug his claws in still further, and started yowling. Rachel tugged and yanked, but succeeded only in removing several pounds of cat hair, whilst leaving the feline creature embedded in her leg. Running through the house Rachel set up a cry of "Here kitty kitty kitty! Dinner time!" in an effort to entice the moggy from her leg. Spotting the secure exit of the cat flap, CC sprang from Rachel's leg and tore through the flap, taking with him several paw fulls of flesh.

"One day I'm going to block that cat flap off!" remarked Rachel, apparently on the same wavelength as her drabble for once. Returning to the keyboard, Rachel even remembered where her sentence had left off, and was prepared to continue it.

"Warning! WAOL has caused a fatal error in 457.832!"
"Warning! Windows has caused a fatal exception!"
"Warning! This monitor will self destruct in five seconds!"

"What does that mean?" Rachel asked the computer. The computer, not being fitted with a voice programme didn't respond, so Rachel took the only course of action available to her, and clicked "OK".

At this point, a loud "Pfffffft" sound came from the hard drive, smoke billowed from the black thingy that stood next to the desk, and birds began falling from the skies.

"Buggrit." Said Rachel. "I done broke it again."

Kicking the remains of the destroyed computer away with her feet, Rachel went to the cupboard under the stairs, and ignoring the silent pleas for help from the bound and gag young male wizard there, brought out a new computer, set it up, and logged on to the CBB yet again.

This time Rachel typed as fast as her tortoise like fingers would go, and succeeded in telling the drabblers WHO the letters were from, and then paused, wondering if they would like to know the explanation of WHY the letters were from Ailie Russell. She decided to sit and wait a little while, see if any replies cropped up, and find oput if anyone was still attempting to read the drabble, or had they all given up at the point when Hamster the hamster left town.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Abi on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:29am
Oh my goodness!!!  :'(  <-- Abi sobbing with laughter.

Are they REALLY from Ailie Russell? *suspicion*
And if so WHY??!!  ???

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachael P on Nov 6th, 2003, 12:23pm
*giggling uncontrollably*

This just gets better and better ... if somewhat surreal!

*wondering what exactly Rachel is "on" and whether perhaps she could bring some of it to The Gathering ... provided it's legal, of course  ;)*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by xanthe on Nov 6th, 2003, 4:53pm
*holding sides, mopping at eyes and wheezing gently*

Rachel!  This is far too funny!  I have disturbed my friend who is trying to write her dissertation by laughing out loud in an uncontrolled splutter......

Evidently, however, I would really like some more!!!!!!!

*sniggering*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rebecca on Nov 6th, 2003, 6:44pm
*Trying to control my laughter since I'm in the college computer room, surrounded by people!*

More please!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:30pm
Rachel, there's not much will make me laugh. splutter and snort out loud. Thanks a lot.
Would love some more, but really ought to tell you that the letters I have been writing about began long before Allie was born.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 6th, 2003, 9:36pm
Ow, ow, ow, please don't make me laugh any more!!

When do we get the next bit Rachel?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 10:35pm

on 11/06/03 at 21:30:52, Carolyn P wrote:
Rachel, there's not much will make me laugh. splutter and snort out loud. Thanks a lot.
Would love some more, but really ought to tell you that the letters I have been writing about began long before Allie was born.


But I told you back on page one that you would probably find that Hilda has been lying to you about her mystery correspondant!



on 11/06/03 at sometime after Carolyn, Vikki wrote:
Ow, ow, ow, please don't make me laugh any more!!


Ok, will stop writing this drabble immediately in direct obedience to your orders. Now you will never know just WHY Ailie has been writing to Hilda. Your loss.



Rachel  ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 10:50pm
*firmly gags Vikki and tells Rachel that unless we get more of this, I'm coming back to ML you more than ever*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 10:58pm

on 11/06/03 at 22:50:30, KB wrote:
* unless we get more of this, I'm coming back to ML you more than ever*
(bold mine)


Ummmm, that's not a particularly good threat KB as you are coming back in in OOAOML mode anyway. . . .

Oooooooops, I shouldn't have warned you!

Rachel ~ starts typing really really fast and hopes she can get the next bit written and posted before KB spots this posting, in fact, attempts to use the same tactics which worked so well last night with regards to KBs personal hygiene  :P

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:03pm
*revises plans for her late breakfast and waits by the computer*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Vikki on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:17pm
*hopes KB won't faint with hunger before Rachel posts more!!* ;)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:18pm
Rachel trudged through to the kitchen, killing time until she would post the rest of Hilda's story to the drabblers. Waiting for the kettle to boil, she heard a sound outside. A very faint, far away type sound, A very faint far away but getting closer kind of sound. A bit like someone screaming "No" in fact. Moving towards the back door, and placing one foot against the swingy bit of the cat flap, Rachel was gratified to see KB come hurtling through the gate, down the path and rebound off the cat flap, all the time still screeching "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo". KB scrabbled at the door, trying to prise the flap bit to flap, and eventually Rachel, bored of the game by now, moved her foot, causing KB to fall through the door and lie in a sobbing crumpled heap on the floor, still muttering the word "no" over and over.

"Wassamatta you?" asked Rachel.

"It-it's the ... the ... kanga-kanga-kanga ..." stuttered OOAOKB.

"Oh, the Kansas Kangaroo?" asked Rachel, delighted to have remembered it's full name.

"I HATE Kangaroos!" snapped out KB, "Especially Kangaroos on Bicycles!"

Rachel looked around the kitchen in bewilderment. "But there aren't any kangaroos in here," she said finally.

KB put her head in her hands and continued sobbing. She couldn't decide which was worse - the kangaroo or Rachel. Finally deciding (possibly unwisely) that she would be safer with Rachel, KB told Rachel to make her a cup of coffee, and sat down at the table.

Rachel put the kettle on, took it off her head at a look form KB, switched it on, put coffee into the mugs and smiled.
KB looked suspicious. "What were you up to anyway?" she asked Rachel.

"I was just thinking about whether I should tell the drabblers why Ailie Russell was writing to Hilda.
KB sat up straight. "The letters were from Ailie?" she asked. "Yup," replied Rachel, "But then, you would have known that if you had bothered logging into the CBB instead of prancing around England playing with the kangaroo."

KB decided to ignore this slur on her leisure time, and tried instead to get Rachel back onto the subject of Hilda's letters - a most difficult task as Rachel's thoughts slid as easily from a subject as a hand from her oily hair.

KB thought hard for a moment, and then asked Rachel in a sly voice what present Rachel would like most in all the world. Rachel beamed. "That's easy!" she said.
"And is?" prompted KB when no further answer was forthcoming after a ten minute pause.
"A budgie!" replied Rachel.

This was not quite either the present or even on the same scale that KB had been expecting, and she stupidly had to go and ask why Rachel wanted a budgie.

"Well KB, you come from Australia, so you probably know this already, but Australia is the extreme sports capital of the underworld, and I want to get a budgie so I can go budgie dumping in the underworld!"

KB banged her head on the table. Hard. And repeatedly.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by xanthe on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:21pm
*laughing freely as she's alone in the computer room*

ow, ow, ow, I hurt from laughing!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:37pm
*lapses into hysteria yet again* Oh, God, Rachel, this thread should definitely come with a warning!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by xanthe on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:44pm
*wonders how, exactly, a warning about this thread could be worded*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:47pm
"That must hurt," said Rachel, looking at the rapidly growing bump and beeyootifully coloured bruise on KBs forehead. "Would you like a paracetamol?"
KB nodded, "Yes, I think I would," she said weakly.
"Go and get one then, in the box marked 'tnna lady' in the cupboard under the stairs."

KB went to the hallway, and opened the cupboard. After a few muffled thuds and squeaks, KB returned to the kitchen, preceeded by a young wizard bolting through the kitchen and out of the cat flap as fast as his knobbly kneed little legs could carry him.
"Rachel, tell me," began KB. "WHY did you have a young male wizard tied up ans gagged, in your cupboard under the stairs?"
Rachel smiled. KB would never learn not to ask questions it seemed. "Well, I woke up one morning about eleven years ago to find a baby in a basket on my doorstep. So I put him with everyhtin else in the house that I don't want to throw away but don't know what to do with!" The answer was obvious as far as Rachel was concerned, and she hoped one day KB would develop a little uncommon sense and know these things without having to ask.

KB sat down at the table, again. "Rachel, I will give you a budgie if you will stop sidetracking and just tell me why Ailie was writing to Hilda."
"A budgie all of my own? To love him and pet him and call him George?" asked Rachel in awe.
"Yes," replied KB firmly. "All of your own to do what you will with."

"Ok," said Rachel, snapping suddenly into one of those scarily near-sane phases of her life. "This is how it was ... oh, no! I can't tell you yet!"
"Why not?" groaned KB.
"Because this is the point in time where everyone has to go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back and read the first archived section of Carolyn's drabble!" came Rachel's reply.



(Well, what are you waiting for? Go and read the archives!)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:49pm
Ahem! *waits impatiently and suggests that Rachel is really stretching a point here*
*goes off to find an ice-pack*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by xanthe on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:51pm
Rachel - you -argh - gragh - words fail me!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by KB on Nov 6th, 2003, 11:55pm
Xanthe, I think the words you want are: very - very - funny!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed!
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:03am
Rachel stared into space as KB drummed her fingers impatiently on the table. "Right," snapped KB, "they've had long enough! Now GET ON WITH IT!"

"Hokelly dokelly," replied Rachel.

"The letters started back when Ailie was at school, and the very first one is actually an apology to Hilda, and thanks that she didn't get expelled when Hilda found her smoking in the science lab with Mike Maynard. From the letter, it appears that it was mainly due to Hilda wanting to keep young Mike out of trouble that Ailie wasn't expelled, but whatever, Ailie was grateful and promised to do her best form then on. The next letter is thanks again to Hilda, but this time for giving her the Head Girls position, even though she knew she didn't really deserve it and was only getting it because of who her mother was. I think," added Rachel, "that Hilda must have written back denying that reason, because the next letter contains a copy of a letter from Madge, telling Ailie the only reason she got the HG post is because mummy asked Hilda to make sure at least one of her girls would be HG!"

KB looked at Rachel. "Are you sure about this?" she asked finally.
"Yup," replied Rachel. "Wanna see for yourself?" she added, sticking one hand down her bloouse preparatory to fishing the letters from her bra.
"No! No, that's ok," replied KB hastily. "Go on, what happened next?"

"Well, the following sequence of letters from Ailie cover the time after she left school, went to Uni and got her first job. She don't have go on too! Moaning about this, complainng about that, calling her mother every name under the sun. I don't think she liked her mum that much to be honest! Anyway, the reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyy interesting letters all start about fourteen, fifteen years before Carolyn's drabble started."

"And?And?" shrieked KB, forgetting the HGs dignity at this exciting juncture.

"And they continue to moan, until obviously Hilda tells her something so exciting it takes your breath away!" said Rachel with an exceedingly satisfied smile on her face.

"I'll take your breath away permanently if you don't get on with it!" threatened KB.

"Well if you would stop interrupting I might be able to get on with it!" replied Rachel, feeling justifiably aggrieved.
"Look, I'll apologise later maybe, but please just tell me what happened fourteen or fifteen years before Carolyn's drabble!"

"Hokelly dokelly," quoth the Rachel.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:08am
*considering doing all sorts of nasty things to Rachel unless she does get on with it*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:09am
Get on with it please Rachel!!!
(Oh and please note everyone that this thread now has a warning!!) ;) ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:10am
I noticed that. Thanks, Vikki! Much needed!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by xanthe on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:10am
Rachel!  PLEASE continue with this, rather than callously leaving us on tenterhooks like this!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:13am
"Do you remember," began Rachel in a dreamy voice, "that in the books, Hilda took a years sabbatical or something, to jolly off round the world or something, doing something or other in some other schools?"
Attempting to follow Rachel logic never being a good idea, KB nodded without thinking about the question.

"Well, the truth is Hilda really had that year off to go away and have her baby in peace and quiet, and make sure nobody at the school noticed."

KB sprayed coffee all over Rachel's gunk and judgement smeared table. "She did WHAT?"

"She had a baby. Just the one, because after all she is the headmistress and does actually have some sense of decency, but she went away and had a baby."

"but, where does Ailie Russell fit into this? And wheres the baby now?"

"Well obviously it isn't a baby now! It has grown a bit, and is now actually a schoolgirl of about fourteen ish. At the CS. Called Valerie."

"but, but, but" stammered KB, "That's Ailie's illegitimate daughter!"

"Nope, that's Hilda's illigetimate daughter! Turns out Ailie had been trying desperately to get herself pregnant for years just to spite her mother, but for some reason, she got all the family share of infertility and couldn't have any kiddies of her own. So when Hilda let slip that she was pregnant, and at her wits end, Ailie offered to take the baby, look after it as her own, and let everyone think it was hers. In exchange, Hilda got regular letters, photos and the baby had to come to the CS when it was old enough."

KB sat back in shock.














"So, Valerie Russell is actually Valerie Annersley?" she got out at last.
"Yup, that's the gist of it."

"Well that explains the letters but leaves one huge question - WHO'S THE FATHER??"

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by xanthe on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:14am
Good grief!  *shocked, but eagerly awaiting more!*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:14am

on 11/07/03 at 00:09:01, Vikki wrote:
(Oh and please note everyone that this thread now has a warning!!) ;) ;D


totally unnececececececessary if you ask me!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:23am
Rachel giggled. "You mean you haven't worked that out yet, despite the whopping huge clue I gave you?"

KB looked at the table, and there in front of her sure enough was a whopping big clue. It looked at KB in embarassment, but then shrugged it's shoulders. "Hey, it's a job! A man has to feed his wife and family somehow you know!"

KB pushed whopping big clue off the table, and it landed on the floor with a soft "Splattt!" sound, and could be heard muttering unlawful things as it squelched off down to Tesco's to spend his wages on booze and f*gs.

"Rachel, just tell me, in one word, or two if we get his surname, WHO        IS         THE       FATHER?"

"Harold" came Rachel's reply.

"Harold?" asked KB in confusion. The only Harold she knew of was the one in Neighbours (which she always denied watching and couldn't admit to knowing now). "I don't know any Harold's. Harold who?"

"You asked who the Father is - Our Father who tart in Heaven, Harold be thy name."

KB threw the coffee cup at Rachel, and the contents landed on Rachel's hair, the side of her head that hadn't been previously adorned with the oil slick.

Rachel did her offended look. "But you asked!" she said in a plaintive voice. "Don't blame me for not knowing your theology!"

KB rose from her seat and walked round the table in a menacing fashion. Taking Rachel by the shoulders, she shook her until her teeth rattled, which was no mean feat as Rachel's teeth were in aa glass by the side of her bed upstairs. "You WILL tell me NOW who the father of Hilda's child is!"

"Hokelly dokelly," quoth the Rachel


(  ;) )

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:24am
My dear girl, nobody's asking you. Your job is to write, not to think about our reactions to what you write!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:24am
I was gonna put 'Warning, may cause incontinence' but I ran out of room..... ;)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:26am
*adds that I love the image of the clue and I'll shake you even more until we find out who the actual father is - and I'm not buying the Harold stuff*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:27am

on 11/07/03 at 00:24:34, Vikki wrote:
I was gonna put 'Warning, may cause incontinence' but I ran out of room..... ;)


Why do you think my first aid kit comprises of Tenna Lady!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:28am
And Rachel, it really does take you to come up with something like this!!!
Next installment please!!!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by xanthe on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:29am
*giggling helplessly, but glad that Vikki's intended warning is not applicable*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:36am
Whaat? You mean you haven't peed yourself laughing at this yet? :o

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:40am
"If I tell you, will you do something for me?" asked Rachel with a curiously Gollum type craftiness etched on her face.
"Sure, yes, anything, whatever!" came KBs reply.
"Is that a promise?" asked Rachel, stalling for time.
"YES!" shrieked KB, reaching one hand out for the handy gargle she hadn't used earlier in the drabble. "Please Rachel," she begged with tears in her eyes. "I just want to know so you can go to bed and leave the drabbles board alone for a tleast a few hours." She finished in a whisper. "Just tell me who the father is."

"Hokelly dok-"

"And if you say that one more time, I WILL flush your head down the toilet and see if it's true about your English toilets running the wrong way!"

Rachel squeaked in fright, rather like the way a tiny field mouse, whilst out walking with his sweetheart one evening, might, at the sight of an ominous shadow swooping overhead, might squeak to his beloved that danger is fast approaching, but he has recognised said danger and has taken immediate steps to combat the aforementioned danger. Sadly, in the case of field mice, the solution is usually to cast your former beloved out towards the swooping owl and shout "take her! she's so much tastier than I am, I'm just skin and bone! hardly a worthy meal for such a handsom owl as yourself!" which always seemed to work and was why this was now the established "Owl Attack Policy" for field mice all over the planet that had come into contact with Rachel.

"Where was I?" thought Rachel's brain. "Oh yes, THOSE letters!" A small cough from Rachel's foot pointed out that the letters had already been dealt with, and Rachel's brain went in a huff and being publicly humiliated and retired to Canada to think of how it had been wronged.

The foot jumped onto the table. "Hey, KB, you want me to tell you the answer?" asked the foot of KB.
"Please!" replied KB eagerly.
Foot snorted. "You're as mad as she is!" it snarled. "As if a foot could talk!" muttering things about the quality of feet these days, Foot sank below the table to consider an escape plan (which incidentally, relied an awful lot on the kind heartedness of a PB being prepared to gnaw him off at the ankle)

Rachel looked around the kitchen in a vague way. "KB" she whispered, "HELP ME!"
"There's only one way I can help you Rachel," replied KB sadly, knowing that for Rachel the help had probably come too late. "You have to tell me who the father is, and then everything will be fine."
"It's..."
"Yes?"
"It's........"
YES?"
"It's    Monty Python's Flying Circus!"

Rachel's body slammed backwards in the chair, and KBs voice hissed into her ear, "The name. Now. Tell me or die.!"

"Sheeesh, some people are so touchy!" remarked Rachel, before snapping out the answer to the conundrum that had everyone guessing for at least thirty seconds. "Mike Maynard."

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:43am
Excuse me, but Rachel may I just take you up to bed and tuck you in? Then I'll deal with the PB, go and talk the hamster into returning and then I can escape this nuthouse!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:49am
*now totally bewildered!*
How can Mike be Valerie's father when he's Holly's father? ???

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:51am
*sigh* Vikki, did we ever think this drabble was going to make sense? Now lie down, dear, and drink this cup of juice I got from Matey.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:53am
"And now, payback time" said Rachel, loking meaningly at KB.

"I'm ready," said KB, drawing herself up to her full heif=ght of 3foot 2. "Show me the way to the new potatoes and jar of mint sauce," she added with a sigh.
"Don't be so absurd!" snapped Rachel. "I keep TELLING you all that was Mary-Lou and not me! No, you promised me anything, and it's time to pay your dues."
KB looked fwightened.
"And don't pull the cute stuff on me, it won't work!" added Rachel. "Now, show me the exit!"
KB looked more confused. "What do you mean, the exit?" she asked.
Rachel sighed. "The exit, way out, means of leaving this house," she clarified. "Show Me The Exit!"

KB silently pointed to the back door, her hand indicating a handle about two feet aboce the cat flap.
"Hurray!" squeaked Rachel happily. "Let's go!"
KB looked at Rachel pointedly. Rachel had beetroot stains on one sleeve, snot on the other, Oil slick on one side of her head, and still wet coffee on the other. She also had a large chunk of flesh missing from one leg, not to mention the unmistakeable aroma of hamster pee wafting around her. "You're going out like THAT?" she asked.

Rachel's reply was to grasp the door handle firmly, take a deep breath and open the door. Then she stepped outside.

Immediately, KB realised something had changed. Rachel stood in the garden, smiling at the sunshine. Her hair was now clean and shiny, her clothes were neat, her leg was whole and the smell of hamster pee was definitley much fainter.
"What happened?" KB asked.
Rachel sighed. "For goodness sake KB, you've read CS books! Don't you recognise an allegory when you meet one?"
KB thought for a moment. "Oh," she said, understanding breaking out like a rash of measles. "Like that 'Crown of Success' thing nobody's read?"
"Zactly," beamed Rachel in reply.

The two drabblers walked down the path, and out of the gate, enjoying the warm November sunshine.
"One more thing," asked KB.
"Go for it," replied Rachel happily.
"Isn't Mike Maynard awfully young to be Hilda's secret lover?"
Rachel produced a bag of new potatoes and a jar of mint sauce from her pockets.
"Want to ask that again KB?" she asked.
"NO!" screamed KB, and ran off into the sunset, which being the sun was extremely hot and frazzled her to a crisp, at which point Rachel bowed to the inevitable and ate her.

THE END!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:54am
Well, I did forget, just for a minute that it was Rachel we were dealing with!!
*sniffs contents of cup suspiciously*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:56am
*laughs myself into hysteria*

Oh, hold on, I can't, can I, having been eaten? Gee, it's a shame, too. I was just about to post more Matey's Secret.

*admits to actually owning a copy of the "The Crown of Success" but not reading it yet*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 12:58am
In honour of KBs passing, and in loving memory of her, I am prepared to finish the sage of "Matey's Secret"

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:03am
Do you hear that noise?
That's Matey screaming in terror at the thought of Rachel finishing her story!! ;)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:06am
Now why would Mateyt be scared of me I wonder? Surely I must be in the running for the postion of "queen of the most unbelievable pregnancy-out-of-wedlock story yet"  ??

Hmmmmm, who could I get next I wonder? Gaudenz?

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:08am
Actually, I think Matey would be rather relieved that somebody's going to do it for her!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:09am
Oh yes please Rachel!!!
A drabble where Gaudenz gets knocked up would be brilliant!!! ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:10am
*very, very afraid*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Lisa_T on Nov 7th, 2003, 2:55am
Personally, I still have a yen for that Hilda/ Jockel affair someone mentioned once. Talk about an attraction of opposites!
Rachel, I only just avoided spraying the keyboard. Consider yourself lucky- you'd have recieved the bill otherwise! ;)

To reiterate KB's very pertinent question- isn't Mike rather young to be Hilda's lover...? I mean....?!!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Jennie on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:00am
I haven't laughed so much in ages, Rachel, loved it!

So please finish Matey's secret, pretty please.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:11am
Love it Rachel.

Giggling uncontrolably and still streaming. (Tears of course before you refer me to Rachel's first aid kit.)

Keep hold of some of your other ideas for a day or two, until I have time to email you, plllleeeeeaaaaaaasssseeeeee.



Actuall I'm rather honoured to have a drabble with it's own spin off, and to see so much of the original drabble appearing here as well. *blushing now.  :-[ *

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Trish on Nov 7th, 2003, 10:47am
I've come across some twisted imaginations in my time, but yours, Rachel, takes the cake!

I'm still laughing at the image of KB being eaten heh.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by xanthe on Nov 7th, 2003, 1:56pm
*sniggers* so sad to have missed this wonderful conclusion last night... *still sniggering and likely to be for some time*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by NickiL on Nov 7th, 2003, 4:36pm
I bow down before you Rachel!!

Just read this through in one go. The warning should read - WILL cause hysteria!! Brilliant!  ;D ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 5:35pm
Thank you all so much for your kind words. Watch out for the sequel "Letters from my Therapist" soon!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 7th, 2003, 8:43pm
*worries that so many people seem happy to have me dead and eaten*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:08pm

on 11/07/03 at 17:35:15, Rachel wrote:
Thank you all so much for your kind words. Watch out for the sequel "Letters from my Therapist" soon!


When is soon, Rachel? I'll look forward to that one! ;)

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 7th, 2003, 11:25pm
Depends how quickly I can undo the straps on this straightjacket. I think it's a little tight at I can't move my arms! And typing with my toes takes far too long to get started on a looooooong drabble, which "Letters from my Therapist" would have to be!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Vikki on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:08am
*reaches out and unbuckles Rachel's straight jacket*
*realises what she just did*
*runs away*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 12:13am
*Bursts into tears as she contemplates the thirty seven crates of letters and medical files from the therapists*

*Attempts to redo the straps on the straightjacket*

*Fails dismally and goes off to host a 1000 post party in the News section if anyone cares to join her*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Esmeralda on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:05am
Definitely does cause hysteria!   ;D  Thanks for that Rachel, I really needed a good laugh tonight!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 1:08am
Always happy to help a fellow drabbler!    ;D

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Susan on Nov 8th, 2003, 7:39pm
Have just read this all through.  It was just the tonic I needed after a very stressful few days.

Rachel you have a comic genius. Thank you.

KB sorry you got eaten but after all the resurrectionsin other drabbles I'm sure you'll return soon.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:09pm
*thanks Susan for her sympathy*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:12pm
** Suggests KB ought to remain dead at least until Rachel's next drabble is written **


Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:33pm
*whimpers and goes off to lock herself in the HG's study with her laptop*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:36pm
Considering Rachel's just told me that her next drabble has something to do with Satan, I think that might be a very good idea, KB!  Come to think of it, maybe the rest of us should hide as well .......................

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:45pm
*willing to hide everyone except Rachel*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 9:49pm
Thank you!  Suggest we all hide now since said drabble has just appeared!

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by Rachel on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:08pm
** ANNOUNCEMENT -  Anyone who attempts to hide tonight will find themselves cast in the new drabble **


Thank you. Cats rule.

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by KB on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:15pm
Easily solved! *locks Rachel in the Head Girl's study and lets everyone else go back to their normal lives*

Title: Re: Hilda's Letters - Revealed! (May cause hysteri
Post by catherine on Nov 8th, 2003, 10:19pm
Hmmmm - did she post before or after your post, KB?  

*Suggests offering Rachel a glass of hot milk with a little something slipped in!*



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