The Chaletian Bulletin Board


    
      
        The Chaletian Bulletin Board
        (http://www.chaletian.co.uk/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl)
      

        Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >>  The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
        
(Message started by: edith on Jun 18^th, 2003, 4:58pm)

Title: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 18^th, 2003, 4:58pm

Three middles strolled mutinously down the garden path. "I'm fed up of fines!" said one named Pyreathra Potts. "I can't nderstand that beastly German and I don't want to!"
"I don't see what is wrong viv ze german. It is my language but I hate the prefects jumping on us fr using slang. Everyone else does!" said Swiss Gertrud Geringfügig
The third girl wrinkled up her pretty nose. "Let's rebell!"
"What do you mean Hope?" said Gertrud.
Hope Less smiled. "Lets form a guerilla movement against the staff and senior school. I know the rest'll join us!"
"I know what you mean," said Pyrethra. "Lets make their lies a misery, we won't make our beds or do prep, we'll stay up late and play tricks!"
"Perfect!" Gertrud said. "Lets go recruiting.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 18^th, 2003, 9:03pm

So Gertrude, Hope and co. went in search of other mutinous middles with whom to hatch their evil plans. Lucky for them they came accross four middles, one of whom was crying.

'Whats up kid?' asked hope to the crying girl.

'Oh, i hate those prees, that Charlotte Maynard, is so annoying, she fined me for speaking English! It's alright for here, she can chat away in any old language!' cried Paula Smyth. Charlotte Maynard was the Grandaughter of Joey Maynard, one of Lens quads.

'Ah hah! Then we have a plan to help you!' replied gertrude in a most dramatic way.

'You do? questioned Paula.

'Yep, listen close and listen close...' the naughy middles huddled together and began their planning.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 19^th, 2003, 10:12am

By the end of the day most of the junior and middle school, and a few dissatisfied prefects, including one Anna Von Stift, the niece of Thekla and a bulling senior who would never be a prefect met in the pine woods near the schools home in Wales. The Swiss branch now being open only to the seniors.
They built themselves a camp using plumeaux and pine branches and sat ropund a campfire, several of the seniors were smoking and drinking.
Pyrethra stood up, her school tie wrapped round her head.
"My fellow rebels, we are protesting for our freedom against the tyrannies of the staff and prefects! We will not stop until we gain our freedom!" Pyrethra jumped up onto a tree stump, "Follow me..." there was a crash and the stump collapsed revealling the shiny barrels of a weapons stash...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by KB on Jun 19^th, 2003, 12:20pm

For a moment, they eyed each other warily. Guns were strictly prohibited at school, ever since a nasty incident a few years earlier that no one liked to talk about. But then Pyrethra remembered that they were supposed to be rebelling and lunged for the arms.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 19^th, 2003, 12:59pm

"They must be IRA weapons" Hope said.
"Lets scare the school," Anna said. "We'll fire above everyones heads in the dining room."

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rebecca on Jun 19^th, 2003, 1:54pm

*N.B. My knowledge of guns is strictly limited to those used in WW2, though my history teacher accused me of being in the IRA for knowing what an incendary bomb was. But on with the tale...*

"What on earth are IRA weapons doing in Wales?" wondered Pyrethra.
Picking up a Bren gun, her finger hovered over the trigger and she fell backwards as a stream of bullets showered into the air, noiseless except for a faint clicking.
"Eeek! I didn't mean for that to happen! I always thought machine guns were noisy anyway."
"It must be fitted with a silencer," said Paula. "That means if we fire them, no one else around will be able to hear a thing!"

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 19^th, 2003, 2:34pm

The IRA had dumps everywhere so they might have had one in Wales
Anyway on with the story...
The school cat lay dead on the path, its body filled with bullets.
"Let's go!" Said Hope!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 19^th, 2003, 3:51pm

So the mutinous girls stormed out of their hideaway...to all itense and purposes they looked hysterical with their skirts hitched up, their ties around their heads and socks rolled down.

And so the rebbells stormed the Chalet school...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Sioned on Jun 20^th, 2003, 12:51am

First they decided on the prefects room. They stormed in yelling "Hands in the air!!! Move move move...."
All the prefects were forced to stand on the table on one leg with their hands in the air, and Pyrethra, spying some sellotape thought it would be a good idea to tie them up (this is matey's special sellotape - v. strong for stcking bandages).
Thus, as the gang went on to find their next victims the prefects ended up under the table, stuck fast, with their handkerchiefs stuffed in their mouths. "Curse matey and her bl**dy handkerchiefs" thought Charlotte.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 20^th, 2003, 9:38am

Then they dashed off to join the party storming the staff room.
The staff were putting up more of a fight, Len and Nancy Wilmot piled chairs and tables aginst the doors and windows, while Peggy Burnett climbed through the window to get help from the san.
It didn't take long for the girls to break down the barrier, the staff all shrank against the far wall.
"Give us your marking" Hope demanded. The staff all handed over the work and Pyrethra threw it into the fire.
The carefully marked work was soon burned to ashes and Pyrethra poured ink over it to put it out.
"Wendy and Ruth," she said pointing to two tall middles with Klasnicov rifles. "Guard the door, make sure none of them get out. Veronica and Susanne you guard the windows, the rest of you, follow me!"

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Susan on Jun 20^th, 2003, 2:36pm

Edith this reminds me of an essay I wrote many years ago on how we saw our school in the future. It's absolutley wonderful just the thing for a very quiet afternoon in work.

'Where now?' asked Nellie Smellie as they ranged down the corridor.

'The annexe, for the Head and Deney,' said Pyrethra.

'What about next door?' asked Penny Farthing who was still smarting from being told she wasn't a proper chalet girl by Charlotte's grandmother after she'd been not dusting her cubicle for three days. 'We don't want old Granny Maynard or that old quack rushing to the rescue.'
'There's a thought,' said Pyrethra 'Mmmmmm............'

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 20^th, 2003, 2:40pm

Pyrethra's eyes lit up as an idea floated merrily into her daft little head, 'I know' she cried, 'Lets shoot the lot of them dead!'

'we can't do that...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rebecca on Jun 20^th, 2003, 3:49pm

"Why not? It'll get them out of the way, no one will hear, and then we can flee to the hills and live like savages for the rest of our lives! Mwahahahaha! Let's go for it!"

*couldn't resist the manic laugh, sorry!*

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by austriaamy on Jun 20^th, 2003, 4:19pm

Nellie Smellie? LOL!
Where is this set, Austria or Wales?

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Toria on Jun 20^th, 2003, 4:20pm

With that, Pyreathra dashed off calling to the others to hurry. She was soon followed by Gertrud and Hope.

_{I think it's in Austria but Edith will tell you}

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 20^th, 2003, 4:24pm

They stormed into next door, ready to shoot them all dead wit their guns. However when hey got there, they found blood splattered up the wall and lens youngest, Timothy holding a large gun.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Toria on Jun 20^th, 2003, 4:35pm

Pyreathra's eyes glowed with delight as yet another plan came into her head.......

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rebecca on Jun 20^th, 2003, 9:16pm

I think it's Wales. Edith's the first to mention a setting and she says Wales anyway.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 23^rd, 2003, 10:19am

It'd've been easier to set in Wales with the weapons stash and everything!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 23^rd, 2003, 4:09pm

She would blame the whole thing entirley on the small boy...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 24^th, 2003, 10:20am

Timothy, she said, "Know you stay here while we deal with the prefects."
The small boy nodded and sat down on a bloodstained armchair.
The girls all dashed to Matey's room.
Matey had been sleeping in a chair in the corner of the room. Hope tied her to the chair before forceing her to drink her own medicine.
Word came up that the seniors had surrendered without a struggle.
"What a load of spineless Jellyfish," Pyrethra said. "Lets lock them all in the coal cellar, after they've moved the coal."

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 24^th, 2003, 3:40pm

Giggling ferociously one of the girls said, 'Lets make them paint each brickett white!'

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Aletea on Jun 24^th, 2003, 10:25pm

"And then eat it, washed down with that ghastly coffee they force us to drink. No wonder we never get any sleep with all that caffine inside us!" exclaimed Rachel, a hitherto pleasant girl...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 25^th, 2003, 10:20am

So they put their plan into action, they stood in front of their victims, behaving like evil army sargents.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jun 26^th, 2003, 10:28am

Well, what do we do now?" Hope Less asked.
"Lets make ourselves chips to eat! And drink the secret alchohol stash we found in the staff room!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Ally on Jun 26^th, 2003, 4:12pm

The girls rushed to the staffroom taking the alchohol and also some cigerettes that were spotted in the corner, and proceded to the Dommy Sci rooms.

Getting ever increasingly tipsy from the drink they were not used too, and giggling over the fatty food they were about to eat, no one noticed that the chip fat had caught fire and that alchohol had spilt all round the stove...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jun 27^th, 2003, 9:41pm

The blaze didn't go unoticed for long for the fire soon ragd hot and large,leaving the frightened girls to panick,

'We shall surley all die! this isGods punishmeant!' yelled Pyreathra over the roar of the fire.
'No, we've died and gone to hell!' cried a hysterical girl called Hope Less (LOL edith!).
'Oh Jesus, the lt of you pull yourselves together,' shouted Gertrude, The Chalet school had long lost its desire to prevent all slang and such blasphemy was used commonly.
'GET ON THE FLOOR!'

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jul 2^nd, 2003, 10:42am

Right lets get out of here we caN leave the others, RUN!"
The girls dashed outside leaving their prisoners in the cellar.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 2^nd, 2003, 2:14pm

However the girls ran straight into the aged figure of Joey Maynard who had not been killed by the guerrilla middles and had seen the blaze. She had cleverly removed a couple ofwater canisters from the kitchens and instructed two of the escappees to tackle the blaze. Then she set about taking the girls in hand.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jul 3^rd, 2003, 9:19am

Pyrethra grabbed a klasnicov off another girl and marched towards Joey. "Get yer hands up!" She snarled, "Hope, Gertrude, take her to the cellar."
The old Joey couldn't fight back and she was pushed into the cellar with the others.
Meanwhile Peggy Burnett had reached the San where she met Con Maynard, who against her family's wishes had become a paramedic. Con swore when she heard what had happened, then she helped Peggy into the cab of her ambulance, and radioing for assistance she drove off towards the school at full speed.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 3^rd, 2003, 1:03pm

By the time Con and Peggy had reached the schoot tree other abulances had joined them as well asa fire engine and a pair of police cars, the convoy was fit for film.

Con got out of her abulance and observed the seen, there were a couple of bodies out the front and blood splattered on the windows, she could see the blaze and the dim shots of girls in the distance.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 3^rd, 2003, 1:04pm

i meant scene! :-[

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jul 4^th, 2003, 9:08am

Con leapt out of the ambulance and wriggled along the ground towards the school. "The army training came in well." she muttered remembering the ten years she spent there.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 4^th, 2003, 4:28pm

The others watched con in awe as she carried the three bodies back to the car, 'This girl, Lucy Stevens, she's alive!' said Con indcating the unconsiouse figure of a junior who was the grandaughter of Amy Stevens -these others, are dead!'

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Jul 5^th, 2003, 12:42am

Con looked down at young Lucy and drew a deep breath, then raised her lovely contralto voice and began singing "The Red Sarafan", an old family remedy for bringing people back from the brink of death

:D (Couldn't resist)

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 5^th, 2003, 11:56am

In true chalet school style, young Lucy opened her eyes and said, 'thank you abulance man, the angels told me o com back!'

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jul 9^th, 2003, 10:37am

Con lifted the small girl onto a stretcher and into an ambulance.
"What happened?" She asked.
"We didn't want to join in..."
"Join in?"
"Taking over the school. I like school."
"Hush now. One of the other ambulance "men" will take you back to the san while I go to find those bad girls."

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 9^th, 2003, 1:55pm

'Alright honey, hush now.' said Con, chocked at what she had just heard. Then she realised the school hadad i coming for years, it feklt like a totaliatrain regime at times.

Con went off, heading for where she sawthe blaze, accomapnied by willing fire fighters.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jul 11^th, 2003, 9:49am

Meanwhile Pyrethra led her group of surviving rebels out of the school. "Let's go to the mountains. We can't stay here!"

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 13^th, 2003, 5:08pm

So Pyreatra lead her crowd of lemmings out of the door, ready to head off into the mountains,
'Don't you tink we should grab a bit of nosh to fill our bellies?' asked Hope, who possed an ounce more common sense than the rest.
'Nah,' replied the leader of the rabble, 'we'll live like savages nd eat wild boar!'
And with that they made there way through the door, but soon had Con on their heals!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Ciorstaidh on Jul 15^th, 2003, 10:54pm

At the School, the blaze had spread entirely out of control. Joey had never been the most attentive of Guides and since all the cooking was left to her slave - sorry, faithful servant, Anna - she had never learnt of the effects of chip-pan fires. Of those in the cellar, the firefighters could only presume that none had survived. The fire was reaching the main staircase now - if it got there, the whole building would go up.

The firefighters tried their best, but half an hour later, the Chalet School was enveloped in a massive fireball that looked quite impressive when viewed form the mountainside. So thought Pyethra, who had always been mesmerised by the dance of flame.

Further down the mountain path, Con heard the blast and turned. She forgot all about Pyethra and the middles - they wouldn't last long in the wet and cold of Wales. Her only thought was for Tom - her Tom - who'd been fighting the fire as part of the brigade that had turned up. Con ran headlong down the mountain path, reaching the school in just 10 minutes - her army training had done her proud. She began calling, "Tom, Tom, where are you, Tom? Tom, the school's gone, I know you wanted to save our school Tom, but it's gone - oh Tom, where are you?!"

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Jul 16^th, 2003, 9:51am

'Con?' coughed a distant voice,'Con, is that you? I'm over here Con, i can't walk, help me con, help!' creid a young man, who was beginning to panic.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Jul 16^th, 2003, 10:31am

Con ran to where the voice was coming from, but failed to pay attention to where she put her feet, with the natural result that she fell over some burning timber and broke her ankles.
"Oh ******" she shouted to the shock of all those buried in the rubble.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Jul 16^th, 2003, 11:31am

"Con, Con!" Cried voices from below, save us!" There was somebody alive in the cellar. Con grabbed her radio and called for help. She was carried back to her ambulance while the firefighters rescued the few that had survuived behind the fireproof doors of the cellars.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by KB on Jul 16^th, 2003, 1:53pm

...which had been put in at the suggestion of Mary-Lou, who has probably developed psychic powers in the interim.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:04pm

Pyreathra and her band of middles had been lying low for several weeks now, surviving by eating plot bunnies that scampered past them (;))

Now that all the hullaballoo had died down, it was time to finish their campaign of destruction.

Tying her bandana more securely, Pyreathra whispered instructions to her faithful band of followers. The time was right, the time was now! With a shriek of "Geronimo!" the girls ran out from the safety of the mountain hideout and headed for the site of the Chalet School, where builders were busy on the restoration process, (being filmed by the TV crew for that programme "Restoration" at the same time :))

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Vikki on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:11pm

Of course, the film crew were delighted with this turn of events! Guerilla schoolgirls were a vast improvement on rebuilding a crummy old school building, much more gripping for the viewers.............

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:26pm

The documentary subsequently became the most vital piece of evidence ever submitted in a criminal law trial in the UK.

The fact that the Guerilla Middles were the ones submitting it in order to prove they had been discriminated against by the TV production crew and were thus criminally assaulted mentally was a bizarre twist to the plot, as most viewers had expected the Guerillas to be on Trial for the murders of the TV camera men . . .

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Esmeralda on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:48pm

And am I correct in assuming that carving knives played a prominent part in this murder?

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 12:49pm

Not at all! They used sharpened plot bunny bones!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 5^th, 2003, 4:29pm

Although they did sharpen the bones with a carving knife. ;D

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 5^th, 2003, 5:36pm

Natch!

What else does one do with the bare bones of a plot . . . bunny?

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Jennie on Sep 5^th, 2003, 5:40pm

Please don't set my imagination off along that track! I'm getting a bit stuck with my own thread, for one reason or another, and I can't do with sharpened plot bunny bones.

:( :( :( :( :( :(

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 6^th, 2003, 4:46pm

*giggling like a loon*

as it happened, the judge was an Old Girl - Julie Lucy had decided not to abandon the Law after all and...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by edith on Sep 7^th, 2003, 1:11pm

was now one of the most influential judges in the country!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 7^th, 2003, 1:20pm

Julie, properly shocked by what had happened, nevertheless decided to temper justice with mercy and make the punishment fit the crime

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 7^th, 2003, 7:56pm

do tell Xanthe!

Rachel ~ still not quite sober and not up to devising ingenius punishments for Guerillas

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Carolyn P on Sep 7^th, 2003, 8:29pm

on 09/07/03 at 19:56:18, Rachel wrote:

Rachel ~ still not quite sober and not up to devising ingenius punishments for Guerillas

What have you been up to Rachel!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 7^th, 2003, 8:42pm

*had left it there cos she wasn't either*
*heaves a sigh*

The Middles were condemned to rebuilding the school during their play hours, and were to be deprived of tuck for the rest of their lives...

[anyone care to add to that rather uninspired offering?]

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 7^th, 2003, 10:30pm

on 09/07/03 at 20:29:35, Carolyn P wrote:

What have you been up to Rachel!

Ooooooops! Ummmm, well, you see, it was like this;

Someone grabbed me, forced copious amounts of alcohol down my protesting throat, forced me to smoke about 200 ciggies, refused to listen when I protested that I really had had sufficient food, and all in all made me have one of the best weekends this year ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Or in other words, I've been away for a boozy weekend

Rachel ~ the blood is beginning to invade my alcohol stream!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by KB on Sep 8^th, 2003, 4:15am

*lol* Somehow, Rachel, I find that all too easy to believe!

The Middles listened for a moment to Julie's sentence in silence, but Pyreathra Potts wasn't going to be quelled that easily.
"We won't do it!" she shrieked. "You can't make us."
Julie eyed her with the glance that had quelled Middles during her stint as Head Girl and continued to work with unruly lawyers (no mean feat!). However Pyreathra and her chums had had too many years of seeing such things from the prefects during their own years at the CS and it had no effect on them.
"Yeah," yelled Gertrud Geringfügig. "I'm not even English! You have no say over me!"
When nothing Julie would say had any effect, she ordered them to be tied up and gagged. At last they were unable to speak, whereat she glared at them again.
"I have the only sentence that will solve the problem of what to do with you," she declared.
At this point, the door burst open and Mary-Lou, her psychic powers working perfectly, strolled in.
"Your sentence," Julie continued dramatically, nodding in a friendly if somewhat distant manner to OOAOML, "is to listen to all the tales Mary-Lou has to tell you about when she was at school and all the problems she solved until you are willing to behave like decent members of society."
Mary-Lou waited until the courtroom was empty of all but those wicked Middles before pulling up a chair and launching into her first story.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 8^th, 2003, 7:30am

:o what a punishment! :o

starting out with the reformation of Verity Carey, Mary-Lou listed all of her many personal triumphs to the rebellious middles... resistance was futile... slowly, they stopped writhing and twitching, and the low moans of agony ceased

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by PatW on Sep 8^th, 2003, 9:48am

and they lay on the floor to all appearances dead
(sorry, can't remember the middle bit of that, but couldn't resist it! ::) ;D ;D ;D )

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Jennie on Sep 8^th, 2003, 10:54am

Unfortunately for them, Mary-Lou was too wrapped up in the narrative of her triumphs to notice, so they had to stay like that, until, alas, one of them begn to giggle at the ludicrous nature of the situation.

They began to realise that Mary-Lou was not paying the slightest bit of attention to them, so they slowly inched their way to the door, opened it cautiously, and then stealthily made their way down the corridor, finally arriving at the side entrance to the court-house.

Freedom beckoned!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by PatW on Sep 8^th, 2003, 11:03am

I thought they were all tied up and gagged so that they had to listen!!!!

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Jennie on Sep 8^th, 2003, 11:22am

Listen, these are the guerrilla middles, would things like gags and bindings stop people who are armed with sharpened plot bunny bones?
Echoes of Tarzan, or whoever. 'With one bound, he was free'

They had hidden the sharpened bones in the pockets of their Gym knickers, and the ushers, all being male, had not dared to search them, so before they were bound and gagged, the palmed the bones, and used them to saw through their bonds.

(I just want a very funny story to carry on, so who cares about logic?)

Jennie, who glories in her own illogicality, but wishes others would use it.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Vikki on Sep 8^th, 2003, 1:34pm

*applauds in support of Jennie's declaration of illogicality!*

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 8^th, 2003, 4:37pm

Sadly for the troublesome middles, Matey's troublesome sixth sense was at work, and she was outside waiting for them. Not looking where they were going, one girl after another tumbled into the vat of castor oil Matey had positioned to block off their escape route.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Jennie on Sep 9^th, 2003, 9:02am

However, Pyreathra, acting on instinct, managed to grab hold of Matey, and pulled her into the vat of castor oil along with them, thereby absolutely ruining the starch in her apron.

The school's beloved tyrant looked a totally different woman as she attempted to stand up, oil dripping from her cap; it was as though she had never indulged in a jam-making orgy in the whole of her life.

(BTW, where did Matey get her jam-making facilities from? She didn't have a proper cooker at the CS, and it takes a lot of time and effort to make 144 jars of jam, Sale or no Sale.)

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by PatW on Sep 9^th, 2003, 11:21am

No school girl in her right mind would care to face matey when she looked as she did then. However, as these girls were NOT in their right minds, they...

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Rachel on Sep 9^th, 2003, 11:32am

Made rude faces at her, the effect of wehich was somewhat spoiled by the fact that the gags covered most of their features. This had the excellent result of making Matey so furious, she literally shook with anger, tipping the vat over on it's side allowing the guerilla middles to slither off down the corridor and out the door.

Meanwhile, OOAOML had suddenly noticed that she was alone . . .

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Marianne on Sep 9^th, 2003, 5:28pm

'oooo, the cheeky wee middles, the've escaped from me have they, it seem's that their punishment wasn't great enough!' declared Mary-Lou cackiling wildly to herself. 'Here, middles, middles middles, her middles, middles, middles..' she called in the hope of attracting some attention.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 9^th, 2003, 6:17pm

which she promptly received from the men in white coats who attempted to sedate her and take her away. However, her years at the CS meant that sedatives no longer had any effect on her, and she excaped, disguised herself as one of those ice-cream sellers with a bike, and set of in hot pursuit of the middles, who left a trail of castor oil in their wake that made her job quite simple.

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Vikki on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:10pm

...at least it did until the tyres of her bike slipped on the trail of castor oil, precipitating both the bike and OOAOML over the edge of the Platz.....

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:12pm

and straight into the midst of the guerrilla middles, crushing their leader most effectively (and indeed literally)

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Vikki on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:19pm

The funeral was quite a big occasion on the Platz with everyone coming to celebrate the passing of OOAOML........

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:21pm

but they were mistaken in their jubilation as she wasn't dead - the middles had handily broken her fall

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Vikki on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:29pm

and of course, she was also one of the undead, in other words, a vampire..............

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by xanthe on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:32pm

which is why all the inhabitants of the Platz had developed such a fondness for garlic they could be smelled throughout Switzerland

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Vikki on Sep 9^th, 2003, 8:35pm

a favourite recipe was from the Cornelia Flower school of cookery, apple pie with garlic cloves!!!

(Which reminds me, I don't think EBD did a lot of cooking, as I don't think anyone in their right mind could ever mix up cloves with garlic cloves! ::) ::))

Title: Re: The Chalet school and the Guerilla middles.
Post by Jennie on Sep 11^th, 2003, 9:14am

She certainly managed to put me off making apple strudel.