|
||
|
Title: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:06pm This comes with apologies and thanks to those of you who helped last time round. No offence is meant when I tell you that I've changed it and it is now all my own, so please don't take any. It's not quite finished and I apologise if you don't like it and for all inaccuracies in the biology side of it. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:07pm “Well I don't know what's wrong with the child!" Thus Matron Henschell in the staffroom one evening when they had been discussing Joanna Brecon, a shining light of Upper IVa. "She was moody all last week and she's spent half of this week in bed because she's had a fit of the weeps!" "Nothing wrong at home, is there?" Miss Annersley glanced at Kathie Ferrars, the child's form mistress. "Not as far as I know." Kathie replied. "I've been quite busy lately though, so I haven't had much of a chance to sit down with her. I’ll have a chat with her tomorrow.” The following afternoon, she appeared in the Upper IV common room, just before the start of rest period and summoned Joanna to her, taking her along to the formroom. Joanna was form prefect of Upper IVa and since her conscience was clear so she merely assumed the mistress wanted to speak to her about form business and therefore turned an unworried face on the mistress when the last girl had left the room, shutting the door behind her. “Come along and sit down by me.” Miss Ferrars had crossed the room to sit down at one of the double desks. Joanna obeyed, a faintly scared expression on her face now, for she was starting to realise that whatever else it was Miss Ferrars wanted, it wasn’t to discuss form business. “H-have I done something wrong?” She asked haltingly. “Not as far as I’m aware.” Miss Ferrars smiled. “It’s all right, Jo, you’re not in any trouble. I’m a little worried about you, that’s all.” “M-me? W-why?” “You’ve not been yourself this past week or so; you were snappy and irritable last week and this week, you’re anything but happy. You’ve had early bed every day because you’ve upset yourself by crying.” “I-it’s nothing.” Joanna mumbled. “We both know that’s not true.” Miss Ferrars said gently. “Jo, I can’t force you to talk to me but if you don’t tell one of us what the problem is, we can’t help you and you’ll only end by making yourself ill.” “What difference would that make? It’s not like there’s anybody to care.” Joanna had dissolved into sobs. “Of course there is! I care, Miss Annersley cares, the other mistresses care and there’s your friends and your parents” “What friends? I have no friends!” Joanna sobbed. “Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t be here now!” “Are you unhappy because you feel you’ve no friends then?” Miss Ferrars asked, still gently. “N-not just that.” “What then?” “I c-can’t tell you!” Joanna sobbed. “I-it’s not about School or home. I-it’s about me!” “Is it something you’d rather talk about with Matron?” “Y-you might want me to but I don’t.” Joanna wept and Miss Ferrars slipped an arm round her. “Is it something you’d like to tell me?” She asked gently. “I-it’s embarrassing.” “There’s nobody here but you and me, Jo and you’ve no need to be embarrassed in front of me. Tell me.” “I-I think there’s something wrong with me. I keep having accidents.” Joanna sobbed. “What kind of accidents?” “I k-keep wetting my knickers.” Joanna wept. “I don’t remember doing it; I don’t even remember needing to be excused but then my knickers feel wet, only there’s never a puddle.” “How long has this been going on for?” “J-just t-today b-but i-it happened a bit last month a-and I f-felt s-strange last week. Th-they feel wet now a-and my tummy hurts horribly.” “I see. Stand up a moment.” Joanna obeyed and with an inkling as to what might be happening, Miss Ferrars lifted Joanna’s dress but the navy knickers that were regulation wear, were quite dry. She pulled the girl down beside her again. “Have you heard people talk of ‘the curse’ or ‘periods’ or ‘menstruation’?” She asked gently. “Y-yes but I don’t know what they mean.” “Right! Well, I think Matron is the best person to explain all that to you but let me just say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re not wetting yourself and what you feel happening is perfectly normal – nothing at all to get upset or frightened over. I’m positive you could do with changing your knickers and being tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and a disprin so I’m going to explain what’s wrong to Matron and she will tell you everything you need to know.” “W-will you stay with me?” “If Matron will let me, I’ll stay.” Kathie Ferrars agreed. “Come along; up you come!” She pulled Joanna up and led her upstairs to Matron Henschell’s domain. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:09pm On reflection, she had decided that Matron Henschell as Joanna’s House Matron would be best for that lady had already complained about Joanna’s odd behaviour and it was to her that Joanna would have to apply if she wanted a change of clothes or the like. In addition to all of that, Matron Henschell was a gentle soul and although Matey, the Head Matron, was beloved by all and her bark was commonly known to be worse than her bite, Matron Henschell had a way of relating to her Juniors that put them at their ease immediately, not least because she was an Old Girl of the School. Now, she laid aside her work and bade the pair enter, raising her eyebrows at her colleague as she saw Joanna. Kathie Ferrars gave an almost imperceptible nod to show that yes, she had had success and now knew what the problem was, before proceeding to explain matters. “Joanna has started her periods, Matron Henschell but since she knows nothing at all about them, she has been very confused and upset over what has been happening to her. She feels she hasn’t any friends and had no one to confide in. She had thought she was wetting herself and was frightened because she had no recollection of doing so. It occurred last month and then again today. Her tummy is hurting. I’ve told her that you will be able to explain matters to her and she’s asked me to stay for a little while – with your permission, of course.” “Well, I don’t see why not.” Matron Henschell decided. “First though, Joanna, we need to get you cleaned up and changed.” She turned and rifled in the drawer which contained a pile of spare knickers. “These ought to be about your size, I think.” She remarked, producing a pair, before finding a few other oddments and marching the unsuspecting Joanna away to the bathroom. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:10pm Miss Ferrars meanwhile, ran up to Joanna’s dormitory and retrieved her pyjamas, slippers and dressing gown, before returning to fill up a hot water bottle since Joanna would be going straight to bed once Matron Henschell had finished with her. Then she sat down to await the pair’s return. They were not much longer and the mistress was hard put to suppress an amused smile as Joanna literally waddled into the room, the girl finding it impossible to walk properly with a large, thick piece of material between her legs. “All right?” She smiled brightly at the girl, who was wrapped in a towel, Matron Henschell carrying her clothes. Joanna nodded silently. “Good! I’ve brought your pyjamas and dressing gown.” She held out the neat bundle and at Matron Henschell’s bidding, Joanna took them and disappeared into a side room where she changed and then rejoined the two adults, Miss Ferrars patting the seat next to her. “Hold this against your tummy and the heat should help ease the pain.” She handed Joanna the hot water bottle, which Joanna took with a murmured thank you. “Now, Joanna, I’m going to explain a few things to you and then if you’ve any questions, I’ll answer them as far as I can.” Matron Henschell began. “I expect that over the past year or so, you’ve noticed certain changes to your body. For instance, I expect you’ve seen that you’ve now got hair on various parts of your body that you didn’t have before and your breasts have grown larger?” Joanna nodded. “Well that is what we call puberty. It happens to boys and girls when they’re about twelve/thirteen, although sometimes they’re a little younger or older. Basically, our bodies change at this time to prepare us for adulthood and for babies. You may feel that the changes in men aren’t so obvious but they too change, their voices break, they too develop hair on parts of their body where it wasn’t previously.” She got up and going over to a bookshelf, produced a book and turned to a double page showing diagrams of a man’s body and woman’s body, pointing to the parts that change and explaining how. “Now, we women have eggs in our ovaries and when these eggs are touched by a man’s sperm – you remember I told you that men have sperm? – they become fertilised and have babies. However, this will not happen until you meet a man you love very much and marry him. When this happens, you will have intercourse which is how the egg will become fertilised. In the meantime, when an egg isn’t fertilised, it dies and leaves your body – hence your period. You bleed once a month for four to five days on average, which is what’s happening to you now. We tend to get a sore tummy as well so remember to come and ask for a disprin. There’s no need to sit through lessons in pain when a disprin will kill the pain. Just before your period starts, the chemicals in your body, called hormones, start to affect how you feel so you may be a little snappy or weepy or extra tired. This is nothing to worry about, it’s perfectly normal and usually clears up once you start your period and that’s what’s been happening to you. The other thing you must remember is, when you have your period, make sure you put a towel on as soon as possible or your knickers will become something of a mess and may stain through to your clothes. You must remember to change your towel regularly and after you’ve been outside. It will start to smell after you’ve been outside so it’s best to change it immediately on coming inside. If you think you’ve started your period and you’re in a lesson, just put your hand up and ask to be excused. On no account say that you’re menstruating or have started your period; I’m afraid it’s not something we talk about. If you feel you need to explain, just say that you feel unwell or have a bad headache or your tummy’s hurting and you’ll usually be understood. Sometimes though, you don’t know you’ve started your period until you’re in quite a mess and so I suggest you keep some wipes and a spare pair of knickers, as well as towels, in your locker in the Splashery so you’ve everything on hand. Make sure you replace the knickers with another clean pair as soon as possible and although I’ll give you what you need this time, you must buy your own towels or ask an older girl or a mistress to do it for you.” “I’m going down to Interlaken at the weekend, Joanna. I’ll get you some then.” Miss Ferrars interrupted, guessing the girl would find it difficult to do this in front of her peers. “It may be as well for me to get you some more knickers as well. You may find you go through them rather more rapidly than is usual.” “Yes, indeed.” Matron Henschell agreed. “I’ll measure you later, Joanna and let Miss Ferrars know your size. You’ll not be able to take a bath while you have your period but you can shower – just remember to remove your pad first and replace it afterwards. You’ll have to wear a pad at night as well. Now, is there anything else you want to know?” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:11pm “I-I don’t think so.” Joanna stammered; in truth her head was whirling with all this information and she felt exhausted. Matron guessed at it. “In that case, how about I tuck you up in bed and you can spend the rest of the day lying down? If you think of anything else you want to know, come and ask me.” She packed the exhausted girl off to bed and then returned to Miss Ferrars. “I can’t think how I missed it.” She remarked. “It’s not something that’s obvious.” Miss Ferrars replied comfortingly. “Unless it had reached the point where it was staining her clothes, I don’t see how any of us could have picked it up. After all, her mood swings could have been caused by any number of things. She had no idea what was happening and thought she was wetting herself but she couldn’t remember doing so and got more and more anxious about it.” “I see. Poor child. I do wish parents would think to inform their children about these things!” “Lady Brecon’s a lovely person but there are certain subjects she deems unsuitable for conversation. When Joanna first came to us she had a slight toileting problem, you may remember and when the Head contacted her to find out if she’d had the problem before, she informed the Head that she really didn’t think it was an appropriate subject for discussion and said she was sure we’d deal with it.” “Of course! I remember now! It was all linked to the death of her grandmother and between that and starting a new school the poor child was at sixes and sevens with everything and scared of being alone in case she saw the ghost of her granny. She broke down in Miss Annersley’s arms, I remember and sobbed for hours on end.” “Exactly. Well, I imagine this is something along those same lines. It’s not helped by the fact that she doesn’t seem to have any friends. She told me as much just now, telling me there was no one to care.” “Well we can’t interfere there, so long as she’s not being bullied. How ever did she become form prefect then?” “Because she’s quiet and steady and hardworking and despite her lack of friends, she does have a quiet influence over the rest of her peers.” Miss Ferrars replied. “In some ways, she’s an unknown quantity to them and so they’re all stunned into doing as she says when she does speak up. Anyway, I had better go and let the Head know we’ve got to the bottom of the problem.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:12pm Joanna returned to lessons the following day and felt very embarrassed and awkward, although her formmates were none the wiser as to the reason for her absence. She almost waddled around the place, much to the amusement of the rest of her form and she was so embarrassed by her lack of knowledge and her conversation with Miss Ferrars and Matron Henschell, that she went out of her way to avoid them. “I bet everyone else my age knows all about it,” she thought, “and they must think I’m a total idiot for not knowing. Miss Ferrars even had to look at my knickers to find out what was wrong and then Matron Henschell had to undress me. They’ll be laughing at me.” It was these thoughts that led her to avoid both of them and although this was fairly easy with Matron Henschell, it was less so with Miss Ferrars and she couldn’t even look the mistress in the eye – she didn’t look at Miss Ferrars at all if she could help it. Miss Ferrars knew it but she could make a good guess at how Joanna was feeling and did not press the matter, thinking that over time, Joanna’s embarrassment would lessen. Joanna didn’t make things any easier for herself that day; she went about in a perpetual state of worry. First, was that Matron Henschell tucked a spare pair of knickers into her pocket that morning, cheerfully remarking that she had better have them 'just in case' and she was terrified that her formmates would find out. She was also terrified about having to be excused or change her towel, since so far, Matron Henschell had been on hand to help her fix the towel again but now she would have to manage on her own. She started wriggling at the end of history and by the middle of English Literature, her classmates had been driven to distraction by her and Miss Stone had asked her three times if she needed to be excused. In the end, Miss Stone pulled the girl up from her chair and marched her out of the room to the Splashery where, having noticed the odd way Joanna had been walking, put two and two together and come up with five, she lifted Joanna’s dress and pulled back her knickers. “Oh!” She exclaimed, seeing the towel. She hastily let go and dropped Joanna’s dress. “I’m sorry, Joanna, I had no idea.” She stammered, very red. “I-it’s my first time.” Joanna wept. “I’m dreadfully sorry, Joanna. I thought you must have dirtied yourself because you were walking as though you had. Do you know how to manage?” “I don’t know.” Joanna sobbed. “That’s why I didn’t want to be excused. Matron Henschell helped me yesterday.” “I see. Well having an accident isn’t going to help matters.” Miss Stone gave a pointed look at Joanna’s crossed legs. “You’d better go and see if you can manage. If you can’t, then let me know and I’ll find Matron for you.” She sat down to wait for the girl, cursing both herself for jumping to conclusions and Joanna, for her stupidity over it all. Although well liked, Linda Stone had none of the kind sympathy and understanding that made Miss Ferrars so popular and could not understand Joanna’s behaviour. Matey had been the only other adult, apart from the Head, to have been informed about Joanna so the staff in general were not aware either that Joanna had started her periods or that up until yesterday, she had had no idea about them at all. Matron Henschell, passing the Splashery a few minutes later, glanced in and looked surprised to find her colleague sitting there. Miss Stone saw her and with a rueful smile got up and explained what had happened in low tones. “Ah. Well you run along back to your form and I’ll see to her. I’ll explain matters in the staffroom, later.” Matron Henschell nodded at Miss Stone and then went into the Splashery just as Joanna sidled out of the cubicle. “Hello! I hear Miss Stone got a little shock!” She remarked, her eyes twinkling. “Have you managed all right?” Joanna nodded rather shame facedly and Matron Henschell waited until she’d washed her hands before putting a comforting arm round the girl’s shoulders. “Don’t upset yourself; it’ll take time to get used to things and in the meantime, if you want help, come and ask. Now give your face a quick splash and I’ll take you back to your form.” She delivered Joanna back to her form who, seeing Joanna’s red eyes, Matron’s presence and her strange walk, drew their own conclusions, very much as Miss Stone had done and Joanna’s afternoon was very much worse than her morning. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:13pm They had Games that afternoon and since their kit was shorts and shirt, there was no avoiding other people from seeing her bulky looking shorts and she spent the entire afternoon putting up with quacking noises, people holding their noses and moving away from her as though she smelt, which she didn’t, or with people asking if she’d stuffed something in her knickers to make them look bulky. Miss Burnett noticed of course, but she had had plenty of experience and Miss Ferrars, having been told about the episode with Miss Stone by Matron Henschell, and aware her form had Games had managed to have a private word with her, anxious to avoid any further upset for Joanna. In full possession of the facts, she came down hard on every girl she caught teasing Joanna and more than one girl was condemned to spending the rest of the period doing solitary exercises on one side of the hockey field while the rest enjoyed a fast and furious game. Naturally, this merely caused those members to resent Joanna and she suffered later. They were in the Splashery, changing and Joanna pulled her frock on over her head, intending to remove her shorts from underneath her dress but Ruth Johnson was quicker and she whipped down Joanna’s shorts to reveal her knickers to everyone. It was unfortunate that just as she did so, there was a noise and then a smell as a small amount of wind escaped from Joanna. Ruth immediately took advantage. “Pooh!” She waved her hand in front of her nose. “You stink Joanna! Look at her knickers everyone! She’s pooed her pants!” There were instant exclamations of disgust. “Stop it, all of you!” Beth Carroll, deputy form prefect, raised her voice and silence fell. “Joanna, it’s up to you what you do about your knickers but if you don’t clean up or change, you needn’t expect us to want to sit next to you or anything. It’s disgusting and so are you. We’re going to finish getting changed and then we’re going but we’re not speaking to you or taking any notice of anything you say until we can see you’ve changed. I’ll see to giving out orders and keeping the rest in line until you start behaving decently again.” Five minutes later the place was empty and Joanna locked herself in a cubicle where once she’d excused herself and changed her towel, she curled herself up on the floor and cried herself sick. It was Miss Wilmot that came to her rescue. She was passing the Splashery just in time to see Joanna stumble out of the cubicle and rinse her mouth. “Jo, are you all right?” She asked anxiously, coming to the girl’s side for Joanna was deathly pale. Joanna jumped for she hadn’t seen the mistress and it was the finishing touch, between Games, her crying, no food and her sickness, she was very weak and now she fainted, Miss Wilmot catching her just in time to break her fall. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:13pm Joanna came round to find herself lying on a bed in San and Matron Henschell at her side. Both she and Miss Wilmot had guessed that Joanna had cried herself sick, although they were unsure as to the exact cause of it. Neither was Joanna prepared to enlighten anyone, all Matron Henschell’s gentle questioning managed to produce was more tears and in the end, the subject was dropped. She was given a light supper and then left to sleep and Matron Henschell descended to the staffroom to see if any of them could draw any light on the subject. “Why? What’s the young ass been doing now?” Miss Stone demanded in answer to Matron Henschell’s query as to who had seen Joanna that afternoon. “Well! And what has she done to upset you?” Nancy Wilmot demanded and Linda Stone flushed. “She wriggled around on her chair in my lesson with that form this morning and refused to be excused. I marched her to the Splashery and she was walking so oddly, I thought she must be dirty so lifted her dress and pulled back her knickers to have a look. She wasn’t; she’d started her period.” “Oh-oh! And you called her an ass!” Nancy Wilmot doubled up at this picture, an example followed by the rest of the staff and after a few minutes in offended silence, Linda Stone joined in, albeit unwillingly. “Well that explains a few things!” Peggy Burnett remarked and explained what had happened during Games. “Why are you so keen to know who had her, though? What’s wrong?” “She cried herself sick – literally and fainted. Fortunately Nancy caught her in time and carried her up to San.” Barbara replied. “She wouldn’t tell me what caused it, just started to cry every time I mentioned it. I’m sorry to hear her form are giving her a hard time; I thought they were more mature than this. They certainly ought to be, at their age! Can’t you do something about it, Kathie?” She turned to Kathie Ferrars who had been listening anxiously. “Like what?” She demanded. “I can’t go addressing them directly on it, or they’ll assume she’s been telling tales which will make it ten times worse for her! Besides, she’s partly to blame for not simply telling them she’d started her period, hence her awkward walking and bulky appearance. I would say the fact that she didn’t tell them, shows she’s not yet ready to accept the changes in her body and that’s something no one but herself can do anything about. She’s not going to endear herself to her fellows if she’s seen to be running to me and getting me to solve her problems for her.” “You’re right, Kathie.” The Head, who had been listening quietly, agreed. “I won’t allow bullying and I will have a few words to say on the subject tomorrow but if Joanna’s not comfortable in herself, no one else will be around her. She could have spared herself misery if she had simply explained the situation to her form, as it is, they’re drawing their own conclusions and acting upon them. Keep her out of school for the next day or two, Barbara; I don’t suppose she’ll feel fit for a lot tomorrow anyway and hopefully, her form will settle down. I think if we tell them Joanna has been very upset over something and has made herself ill, it might give a few of them cause to think furiously over their behaviour and I hope, change their ways.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:14pm Joanna was out of School for a week in the end, for she had spent most of the following day crying and the day after, woken with a temperature that persisted for two days and then left her weak and tired and unfit for anything but bed so in the end she stayed out for full week. She was very subdued, keeping herself to herself and not even asserting her authority as form prefect when she ought to have done, when she joined her form again. Instead, she was content to sit back and let Beth do it all. For the most part, the girls let her alone, the Head had been right when she said the explanation offered to them would give them cause to think, but there were eight or nine who paid no heed to it and they were enough for Joanna to endure a succession of miserable days. By the end of the fortnight, the staff were growing concerned. Joanna’s appetite was noticeably smaller and her work began to suffer. She was constantly being reprimanded for lack of attention and she cried herself to sleep every night. The climax came in Geography, the last lesson of the week when Miss Ferrars, having reminded her to pay attention at least five times, finally lost her temper and sent her to spend the rest of the lesson in the corridor and then the Head sent for her and, having tried and failed to find out what was wrong, gently suggested that she relinquish her post as form prefect for the time being. It was not meant as any kind of punishment but Miss Annersley was well aware Joanna was not doing her job and although she knew the girl would have her reasons, she felt it might be best if Joanna gave her form no cause to resent her and in any case, could hardly be seen to be ignoring the fact or there might be a revolt from other form prefects, not seeing why they should have do the work to keep the honour when another clearly wasn’t doing the work but kept the honour. “It’s only until you’re feeling happier and more able to do it, Joanna. You were doing a good job but just at the moment I think you need a rest from it. Do you see?” “I don’t mind.” Joanna murmured. “I never wanted it in the first place.” “I see. Well in that case, you no longer have to worry about it. Now, I’m going to send you to bed, you look worn out. And Joanna, if you change your mind about telling me why you’re so unhappy, I’m here.” Joanna made no reply to this, she merely stumbled out the room, not even curtseying but the Head knew better than to call her back. “Poor little soul.” She thought compassionately. “If only she’d tell us why she’s so unhappy and let us help.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:15pm Joanna meanwhile stumbled out of the room and up the front stairs, paying no heed to the fact that they were forbidden to everyone but staff and prefects, landing straight into the arms of Bethany Forster, one of the prefects and Emily Richards, the Head Girl. “What on earth are you doing?” Bethany demanded sharply but Emily interfered. “It’s all right, Bethany, I’ll see to her.” She said quickly. “You go on and see Kit about that stroll or you’ll never hear the end of it.” She chuckled and Bethany joined her before going on her way and leaving Emily to turn to Joanna. “Where were you going?” She asked, slipping a hand through her arm. “To bed. Miss Annersley told me to; she said I was looking tired.” Joanna replied tonelessly. “You look it!” Emily replied. “Come along and I’ll tuck you up.” “You don’t have to; I’m not going to do anything stupid.” “No but you look like you could use the company and anyway, I need someone to give me the lowdown on what my awful sister is getting up to now!” She laughed and Joanna smiled faintly at this mention of Emily’s younger sister, Amy, who was a shining light of Upper IVb. “Well? What’s she been up to? I promise not to reveal my sources!” “I don’t know. She doesn’t talk to me much but then nobody does.” Joanna gave a harsh laugh but Emily was not to be put off, she merely gave Joanna’s arm a comforting squeeze. “It’s not much fun being left out of everything, is it?” She said sympathetically. “I had no friends until I came here and even then, it took a while for me to really believe I had friends.” “I d-didn’t know that.” “No; I don’t talk about it much but if it wasn’t for Miss Ferrars, I doubt I’d be here to tell the tale.” “D-do you mean you’d be dead?” “No!” Emily laughed. “Not here as in at a different school.” They had reached Joanna’s dormitory by this time and Emily sat down on the bed, pulling Joanna down beside her. “You see, I was being bullied and I was too afraid to say anything. She heard me crying one day and came in to find me trying to write to my parents to ask them to take me away. She made me see that running away wouldn’t help and that I only had to ask for help and I’d get it. It took a few days but I got there in the end and I got the help.” “B-but how did you manage to tell someone?” “I was too upset to think about it and it just came out. I know now though that it doesn’t matter how you say something, it’s what you say that counts. If someone doesn’t understand, they’ll ask you to explain it, the important thing is to say it because if you don’t, no one will ever know what’s bothering you. They’ll always listen if you ask, but in the end, they’ll give up offering help if it’s always refused.” “B-but what if it means telling tales?” “There’s a difference between telling tales and asking for help. If you went to someone and said, “please, so and so is being horrible to me and saying such and such or I was only doing my work and so and so said such and such to me” then no one would listen but if you went to someone and said, “please help me, I can’t cope” or something, they’ll listen and they’ll help. If they think you’re telling tales, they’ll say so and that’s when you put them straight and say no, you’re not, it’s really happening. Besides, why should you suffer and be all miserable when three simple words ‘help me, please’ will help to solve the problem for you? And even if it doesn’t solve the problem, at least you’ve someone to talk to. Anyway, I can’t stay here nattering and the others will be up in ten minutes or so. Give me your hot water bottle and I’ll go and fill it while you change.” Ten minutes later, Joanna was tucked up in bed, feeling more hopeful than she had done for the past three weeks and she was so busy wondering if she could possibly get Miss Ferrars or Miss Annersley to help her and how, that she forgot about crying herself to sleep. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 10:16pm Joanna pondered on Emily’s words at intervals over the next three or four days and it was the arrival of her next period that spurred her into action. It caught her unawares and by the time she realised what was happening, the blood had stained through to her dress. She knew nothing of this however until they were walking over to Geography later that day when Ruth Johnson once again came to the fore and started pointing and giggling at Joanna’s waddling walk and her dress which being dark, merely looked wet. The laughter and comments about how Joanna was such a baby she couldn’t even manage to excuse herself, came from all sides and Joanna sat through Geography with tears pouring silently down her cheeks. She didn’t do a scrap of work but since she was sitting right at the back, hidden from Miss Ferrars’ view, the mistress didn’t notice anything –until the end when she suddenly realised she had seen everybody’s work but Joanna’s. “Where’s Joanna?” She demanded, unable to see the girl but half a dozen people waved at Joanna. “Jo, stay behind, would you? I’ve not yet seen your work and I’d rather not leave it until next lesson, since I want to move onto something else then.” She requested. “The rest of you, line up and Beth, tell Miss Smith Joanna is with me and will join you shortly. Thank you.” She saw them out the door while Joanna, having hastily wiped her eyes, came forward with her book. Miss Ferrars took it from her, glancing absently at it as she shut the door behind the last girl. She came to a stand still however as she found herself looking at nothing but a blank page. She flicked forward and backward, trying to find the work but to no avail since it wasn’t there and then suddenly realised the page was wet. She glanced over at the girl who was standing with her head down and putting the book down on the mistress’ table, turned to her. “Jo, come here.” She said gently, opening her arms to the girl who went into them unhesitatingly. She buried her face in Miss Ferrars’ shoulder, sobbing hard and letting herself be comforted by Miss Ferrars’ comforting hug and soothing murmurs. The room was not in use during that period and it was a good thing for Joanna sobbed in Miss Ferrars’ arms for a good half hour. “I’m so lonely!” She sobbed. “I just want a friend; I want someone to talk to and do things with.” “Well how about you start talking to me? I’ll not be much use to you as a friend but I am a good listener and I can help, if you’ll let me.” “L-like you did with Emily?” “Now how do you know about that?” The mistress looked down at Joanna. “S-she told me. S-she wanted me to ask for help.” “When did this happen?” “A-a few days ago.” “And will you let me help you?” Joanna nodded. “Good girl! Come along to your common room and tell me all about it now. I’m free for the rest of the afternoon so there’s nothing to stop us talking.” “M-my dress.” Joanna whispered hoarsely. “What about it?” “It’s on it. I didn’t know! I didn’t know it had happened! I didn’t know for ages but I changed as soon as I did, honestly!” Joanna was crying again. “You mean you’ve started your period and because it caught you unawares, it’s stained through to your dress?” Miss Ferrars translated. “Is your tummy hurting? Well then how about we go to Matron and you can change into your pyjamas, have a disprin and a hot water bottle and then you can tell me all about it. If it happens again, Jo, don’t sit there crying, just ask to be excused and go and find Matron and ask for a change. She won’t scold.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Lisa_T on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:27pm Glad to see the revised version, Catherine. When do we see the rest? |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Ray on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:32pm Ditto and ditto - this is even better the second time round (and it was darrrrrrrn good first time ;)). Looking forward to seeing more :) Ray *eager* |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Esmeralda on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:39pm Yes, I like this version too Catharine, looking forward to seeing the rest. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:46pm You people don't want much do you? OK, I'll post the bits I've got done but for the rest, you'll have to wait! |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:47pm Two hours later, Miss Ferrars had heard the full story and was both furious with her form and full of sympathy for Joanna. No longer did she wonder at the girl’s unhappiness. “A-are you angry with me?” Joanna asked nervously, alarmed by a silence which had lasted a few minutes. “No!” Miss Ferrars hastened to reassure her. “I’m just so sorry you felt you couldn’t come to us before now. Would you have done it now if it hadn’t been for your period starting again?” “I d-don’t know. I-I kept thinking about what Emily said but I didn’t know if I could.” “And if Emily hadn’t talked to you?” Miss Ferrars asked gently, stroking Joanna’s hair back from her face. Joanna shook her head, her lips quivering. “Any particular reason why? Or were you just scared we’d think you were telling tales?” “I was embarrassed and you were all laughing at me.” Joanna whispered. “Laughing at you? Jo, we’ve done nothing of the sort! What makes you say that?” “B-because I didn’t know about periods and things and because of what happened with Miss Stone.” “We haven’t laughed at you and we wouldn’t laugh at anyone in your situation. Joanna, you’re not the first girl this has happened to and you won’t be the last. Not everybody knows what’s happening when they start their periods and it’s part of Matron Henschell’s job to tell you about that kind of thing, if you don’t know about it. It’s also part of my job to make sure you’re quite happy and to provide you with a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, if that’s what you need. You haven’t got Mummy here but sometimes you need that comfort and support and that’s partly why we’re here.” “She thinks I’m a nuisance.” Joanna mumbled. “Mummy? Oh I’m sure she doesn’t!” “S-she does. She blames me for Granny’s death.” “Has she said so?” “Y-yes a-and whenever she talks about Granny, she turns to look at me.” “Want to tell me about it?” “S-she had a heart attack when she was running round the garden with me. M-Mummy said it was my fault for running and if I hadn’t been, she wouldn’t have been running and would have been alive still. That’s why they sent me away and w-why M-Mummy wouldn’t help when, when -.” “When you kept having accidents?” Miss Ferrars asked gently and Joanna nodded. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:48pm “I was scared of being alone.” She wept. “I thought I’d see her ghost.” “I know; it’s all right; that’s all over with now.” “It’s not.” Joanna howled. “It can’t be! Mummy hates me and my form. It’s been so horrible! They keep thinking I’m having accidents like I did then and tease me and make fun of me all the time and I can't do anything. I-if I had some friends, then it would be all right as I could have told them straight away what was happening to me and they'd have helped me when everyone started saying I couldn't excuse myself properly. And then I started thinking what if my period came in the middle of the night at home and I bled on the sheets. Mummy and Daddy would be angry or if it came and I was wearing trousers and the back looked wet, they'd be angry. Nobody understands how embarrassing it is for me!" Joanna broke down and Kathie Ferrars caught her in her arms. "I can't tell you anymore." Joanna sobbed. "Hey, come on, don't give up." She soothed. "You were doing ever so well. Are you saying it's more embarrassing for you than for the rest of us because of your old problem? That every time you have your period, someone is going to think you've had an accident and because you’ve no friends, you don’t feel as though you can tell them?" "Yes." Joanna howled. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 11th, 2003, 11:49pm “Well I think it would be far better if they knew you’d started your periods. I hope they’ll stop their bullying but if they know the real cause, they’ll understand. You don’t have to tell them yourself, I’ll do it or Miss Annersley will but I think they need to see how wrong they’ve been and they need to know how much they’ve upset you. I also think you need a little more time to get used to your periods.” “I d-don’t w-want to get used to them. I hate them.” “Oh you get used to them in time.” Miss Annersley, who unbeknownst to either of them, had been standing at the door, silently listening to the conversation, came forward, a smile on her face. “Jo, you will have a period every month for quite a number of years to come so it is important that you learn to cope with them, which is what are trying to get you to do." “I agree with Miss Ferrars that your form need to be told what is happening; I know you don’t want them to know but I think we need to make them understand what is happening to you and why it may appear that you are walking oddly or have wet yourself on certain days in the month. We also need to make them understand just why you had such a problem a few years ago and that it's not going to come back." "W-won't it?" "No, it won't." The Head replied firmly. “I can promise you that. It's not going to happen. It happened a few years ago because you were still very little and very scared. You knew what was happening when you had your accidents but because you were so scared, you couldn't tell us and you couldn't bring yourself to fix the problem. When you did tell us and we gave you a solution, the problem stopped. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand your problem isn't going to return?" "Y-yes.” ”And do you understand that Miss Ferrars is right when she says that your form need to know? This is not your fault, Jo and you're not to believe it is. Your form should be past the stage where they giggle and talk about these things and they're being very silly and immature. Will you let us talk to them and make them understand?" "Y-yes but what about Mummy?” “I’ll talk to your parents and make sure they understand.” Miss Annersley promised. “Now, run along to the bathroom and do whatever you need to do. Miss Ferrars and I are going to leave you to have a sleep but Matron Henschell will come and tuck you up in a few minutes.” She waited while Miss Ferrars released Joanna with a quick hug and then she stooped and kissed the girl. “Goodnight, little girl. Sleep well and don’t worry anymore.” She led her mistress out the room and down to her study where found herself left alone with a Head that looked anything but pleased and her face became creased with anxiety, thinking the Head was blaming her. Miss Annersley saw it and her face relaxed. "It's not your fault, Kathie. You did the best you could and had it not been for the silly attitude of her form, she'd have been fine. You're not responsible for your form either, you can't be with them every minute of the day and they are far too old to behaving in this manner. It's gone quite far enough. The bell for Abendessen will go any moment but I think I’ll see all you people in the staffroom afterwards and see what we can come up with as a solution. Joanna’s parents, I will have to see to myself, although I suspect it’s nothing more than an over active imagination on Joanna’s part but I am worried about the difficulty she’s having in coming to terms with her periods.” “Well I’ve two suggestions to make now, if you want them.” Kathie laughed, feeling easier at the Head’s words. “How about asking Daisy Rosomon to talk to Joanna and to talk to the form at large? Daisy’s female and a doctor so Joanna will probably feel less embarrassed about asking her any questions she may have and at talking it through with her than with one of us. And if you extend that to the form, we should hopefully prevent this from occurring again, this year at any rate.” “And if it’s a success, we’ll repeat it for future years.” The Head said approvingly. “A very good idea! I’ll discuss it with the rest later but I think we can safely say we’ve found our solution to that.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Lesley on Oct 12th, 2003, 7:46am Catherine - I agree with the others, this is even better the second time around! Looking forward to reading more when you've re-written it! |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 1:55pm The rest of the staff, when the suggestion was mooted, proved to be in full agreement so Miss Annersley contacted Daisy the following day. Daisy proved agreeable to both and when she heard the full story of Joanna’s problems, instantly suggested that the girl should come to her on Friday, this being Wednesday, for the weekend. The Head was rather doubtful over this but Daisy soon won her round. “I might be a doctor but I’m also a wife and mother and what’s more, I’m an old girl of the School. I know what girls are like and just how awful they can be. Let me have her; a break from School will do her good and Laurie’s not on duty this weekend so he can see to the kids.” She pointed out and in the end Miss Annersley gave in, with the proviso that it would only happen if Joanna liked the idea. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 1:56pm As far as Joanna’s parents were concerned, they had never blamed Joanna. Lady Brecon had simply been caught up in grief and it had been decided to send Joanna away since the atmosphere was unhealthy for a seven year old. Her grief had also been the cause of her dismissive attitude when told of her daughter’s problems at the time but a long loving letter soon put that right and later in the term, Lady Brecon flew out to see her daughter and put her right over a few things. In the meantime, Miss Annersley, with an eye to the needs of her mistress, arranged for Kathie to spend the weekend with the Courvoisiers and requested her to leave Upper IVa to her. It was not that she didn’t trust Kathie, but this was something she had to do as Head. Kathie recognised this and was quite happy to hand the business over to the Head. “There is just one thing I’d like to add to all this,” Kathie added to the general discussion in the staffroom, “and that is that we all owe our Head Girl a great deal of thanks; she had a chat with Joanna a few days ago, encouraging her to ask for help and Joanna told me that if it hadn’t been for Emily, she’d never have said anything.” “I didn’t know anything about this!” The Head sat up. “No; I didn’t either.” Kathie admitted, with a smile. “I didn’t think the School was that aware of what was happening.” “Most of them aren’t, I’m sure but the prefects do have a fair amount of contact with that crowd; prep, table supervision and the like. Anyway, young Emily has always been very perceptive and thoughtful.” Nancy pointed out. “But you know, Kathie, it’s all down to you, the help you gave and give Emily, inspired her to say what she did to Joanna and what’s more, you’ve gone out of your way to make Joanna feel that she can talk to you. You’d have got there in the end with Joanna, with or without Emily’s intervention.” “Well, whichever way you look at it, Emily ought to be thanked for her help and all that remains if for us to deal with Upper IVa.” Miss Moore smoothed things over as Kathie opened her mouth to object. “And they will be dealt with.” The Head promised. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 1:59pm It was bed after that for the staff and everything proceeded as normal for the next two days, the Head having decided to finish the week as peacefully as possible. Before Saturday came, however, Miss Ferrars found time between her work and short visits to Joanna, to run up to the Prefects Room. “Hello, Miss Ferrars!” Bethany grinned impishly at her. “Did you want Emily?” “To hear you, anyone would think that the only reason I ever speak to any of you is to find out Emily’s whereabouts!” Miss Ferrars retorted, laughing. “How do you know I haven’t just come for a general chat? I was your form mistress for four years!” ”And we gave you grey hair and wrinkles, we know.” Kit Lucy sighed. “We did try to make your teeth fall out but we couldn’t quite manage it.” Miss Ferrars, whose sunny brown hair had no traces of grey and whose complexion was as clear cut as ever, dissolved into a peal of laughter at this. “I didn’t come here to be abused, you know! “No; you came here to find Emily.” Bethany said placidly and Miss Ferrars gave it up. “Hey, Em!” She called over to her chum who was curled up, her head bent over a book. She was so buried in it that she didn’t hear Bethany’s call. “She gets worse.” Kit sighed, as she screwed up a bit of paper and threw it at Emily. “Some Head Girl you are!” She remarked as Emily looked up, startled. “The entire place could be in revolt and you wouldn’t know anything about it! How do you manage to block us all out like that?” “Too many years spent listening to idiotic remarks made by asinine people.” Emily replied sweetly and Kit gasped. “I’m not asinine and I don’t make idiotic remarks!” Kit protested wildly. “And neither do I before you start on me!” Bethany added and Emily merely smiled at the pair. “I never mentioned any names, you know, but if the cap fits….” She broke off with a squawk as the pair seized whichever objects they could and hurled them in her direction. Miss Ferrars, well used to these squabbles which were all done in fun, simply stood there laughing at them. “No one would think you were supposed to be dignified young ladies of seventeen and eighteen.” She remarked, in the end and Emily jumped for she hadn’t seen the mistress. “You might all be Junior Middles again! Emily, can you spare me a few minutes?” “Of course!” Emily jumped to her feet and went to join her, giving both Kit and Bethany a wide berth. “We’ve not finished with you, yet!” Kit warned but Emily merely chuckled and made her way out the room. “You lot don’t change, you know.” Miss Ferrars laughed, as the door shut behind them, they went off down the corridor and Emily smiled. “I actually just wanted to say thank you for the help you gave Joanna. She’s told me the problem and that if it hadn’t been for you, she probably wouldn’t have said anything at all. Thank you for thinking of her.” “She was so unhappy and Amy said she thought Joanna was having a hard time with her form so I thought I’d see if I could persuade her to ask for help. Are you still worried about her?” “A little but I think things will sort themselves out.” Miss Ferrars replied. “Enough about her, though! Come along to your room and tell me how you are; I’ve seen nothing of you for a few weeks.” “I know.” Emily couldn’t help but sound reproachful and the mistress laughed, tucking a friendly hand through the girl’s arm. “I don’t know; seventeen and Head Girl but you’re as soft as ever you were!” She laughed and Emily grinned. There was a special bond between the two of them and each held the other in a great deal of affection, although there was nothing at all improper in their relationship. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:00pm Saturday morning arrived and with it, trouble for Upper IVa who found themselves faced with a very disappointed Headmistress. "I really don't know where to begin." The Head looked round the assembled girls. “Tell me how you have been treating Joanna recently." “Um, the same as always." "Which is?" Silence greeted her. "Come girls! You must know how you have been treating Joanna! Hannah?" "Well, um, she's been having a few accidents lately, she's not been excusing herself properly so we've um tried to get her to stop by telling her it’s disgusting and refusing to go near her.” "What makes you think she's having accidents?" "Well she walked funny, like you do when you've pooed your pants and she was carrying round a spare pair of knickers in her pocket and wipes and knickers were in her locker too.” Ruth Johnson replied. “And she smelt!” “That, I doubt. I’ve seen Joanna several times over the past few weeks and she has not smelt. In any case, she could not have done since she has not been having accidents. She started her periods last month and has found it difficult to manage them. Her awkward walking was due to not being used to wearing a towel. Yesterday, she had a wet patch because her period had started and she didn't realise until some time after it had begun and whilst Juniors may be forgiven for thinking she had wet herself but girls who are to be Seniors next year, are far too old for this type of behaviour! "Your ridiculous teasing, tormenting and general behaviour has made Joanna very unhappy. None of you have offered her the type of friendship that might have made it possible for her to talk about what was happening to her so she has kept it all bottled up and has made herself ill as a result and not for the first time. Think back to your Games lesson last month; your comments reduced Joanna to crying herself to the point where she was sick once you had all left her. Fortunately, Miss Wilmot was passing and she caught Joanna just in time to stop her falling as she fainted and it was your bullying ways that made her ill then, just as they have now. I had hoped that the comments I made then regarding bullying, would have given you all cause to think; it seems I was wrong. I am ashamed of you all!” "Please, Miss Annersley, if it wasn't that she'd had lots of accidents a few years ago, we'd not have thought anything was wrong so really it's her fault." Ruth piped up again. "Do any of you know just why Joanna had such a problem a few years ago? No? Well it was just after her grandmother had died and it was her first time away from home and in a new school. She was seven years old and very scared. She had seen her grandmother die and didn’t want to be alone at night or during the day because she was afraid she might see her ghost. She didn't have the courage to tell us this so she had accidents. Eventually, I asked her why they were happening and she told me." The Head remembered how she had cuddled a sobbing Joanna for hours on end, at a loss to know how to stop the crying. "She was incredibly upset but the accidents stopped when she found that all she had to was ask and someone would go with her. There has been and will be no recurrence of that problem but if there had been, I would have expected you all to handle it sensitively and tactfully and left it up to the staff to sort her out. As it is, your behaviour has been disgusting and I am thoroughly ashamed of the lot of you! Miss Ferrars is also furious with you. She has gone out of her way to help Joanna but all her efforts were wasted because your cruelty undid all the good she did. Earlier in the term, she was telling me how proud she was of you - getting the highest average in the Middle School, every fortnight - but this past month she has struggled to understand how that same set of girls could have turned into a thoroughly nasty set of bullies and neither myself nor any of the other mistresses, could find an explanation for her. She is an excellent teacher and very kind but I fail to see why her kindness should be wasted on you all and I think perhaps I am going to say you must do without a form mistress for the future and make do with whichever mistress is available to take the register." She paused and the form looked at each other, horrified. Miss Ferrars was very popular with all the girls but her form had been inclined to regard her as especially belonging to them and none of them wanted a change of form mistress. “Of course,” the Head added, meditatively, “if I could know that she would return on Monday to a much nicer set of girls, who were prepared to apologise for all the trouble they've caused and prepared to show her just how kind and helpful and supportive of each other they could be, I might be persuaded to let her remain as form mistress to you." |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:01pm "We'll do anything, Miss Annersley." Beth Carroll pleaded. "It alarms me to see that you are more grieved over the thought of losing Miss Ferrars as your form mistress than you are for Joanna, one of your formmates, who has cried herself sick over your behaviour." Miss Annersley remarked. "You have said you will do anything to get Miss Ferrars back, yet it is your attitude towards Joanna that has caused all the problems and one girl and none of you have given me any indication that you are sorry for your behaviour and would like to make it up to her. Until I can be sure of this and can see an improvement in your attitude and behaviour, I am afraid I cannot let you join the other girls. I cannot have anybody else upset by your cruel and thoughtless behaviour more suited to Kindergarten babies than girls of fourteen! You will be supervised at all times until the last girl has come to me in my study and told me how she intends to make it up to Joanna. The sooner you do this, the sooner we can start to put things right. And girls, I intend for this improvement to be maintained for the rest of your school life, not just until you think we have had enough time to forget about what you have done. You will spend the rest of the day writing me an essay on why it is wrong to bully someone. I expect it to be two sides long, thoroughly prepared with no spelling mistakes. Dr Rosomon has agreed to come and talk to you all about menstruation and she is expecting you to ask intelligent questions on the matter so anyone who finishes before the end of the day, may be considering the subject. Now, line up at the door, go to your Splashery in silence and tidy yourselves up and then return here. You are all to stop crying. You have made your beds and now you must lie on them. And remember, the sooner I see and hear of an improvement in your behaviour, the sooner your punishment ends." |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:02pm Miss Annersley returned to her study and sank into her chair with a sigh. She knew she had come down very hard on the girls but she felt it would do them no harm and hoped it would prevent anymore outbreaks of bullying either from them or from other girls. “Well, Hilda, have you settled them?" Nell Wilson appeared with a cup of coffee for her. "I hope so Nell, I really do." Miss Annersley sighed, retailing her conversation with the form and ensuing punishment. "I only hope they don't end up resenting Joanna." "If they do their essays as thoroughly as they should and are decent girls, they will be so appalled at the way that they have been behaving, they will be desperate to make it up to her." Nell Wilson replied. "Just between us, Nell, I can't help but feel Joanna has made very heavy weather of something that is relatively simple to cope with.” The Head confided. “I had no mother and it was an even more taboo subject then than it is now but I don't remember having any problems." "Yes, but then as you said, Joanna's problems related very much to what happened after her grandmother died and when you are continually being hauled out to the front because the room smells or there is a puddle on the floor, it becomes very difficult to forget. The same goes for the rest of the girls who resented having someone investigate their knickers because someone else has had an accident and won't own up. They were all too young to understand Jo's odd behaviour and Jo, confused and frightened about what was happening to her and increasingly anxious her old problem was returning, found it impossible to explain, even once she had started her periods and knew it for what it was. Her lack of special friends meant that she had no one to confide in or to tell her to stop being so silly and just tell everyone why she was walking oddly, meant that her form made their own conclusion and the wrong one. Their subsequent behaviour was probably partly fear because they didn't know how to handle what they thought was happening. Girls of that age are apt to be heavily critical of anything they think of as 'odd' because they don't know how to deal with it. As you get older, you realise that by researching things and asking sensible questions, you can feel at ease with things that are not quite 'normal'. Had you let them get away with it, however it would have made for a very difficult time later on in life and we have never allowed bullying in this School. You have given them a way of ending it and it is for them to now show us what they are made of! Anyone who doesn't, will soon buckle when they find themselves sent to Coventry and separated from everybody else entirely. Our girls have a great deal of freedom and any loss of it soon brings them to their senses!” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:03pm Upper IVa, meanwhile, were left looking at each other miserably and wondering just how on earth they had got themselves into this situation. Beth timidly raised her hand. "Yes, Beth?" Miss Wilmot was supervising them. "Please, I think we're all starting to know we were wrong but if the others are like me, we're all a bit confused. We never meant to let it get this far and we honestly thought Joanna had a problem and wasn't doing anything about it. I know it's no excuse and that we shouldn't have been nasty but none of us were really sure about her. And well, I was wondering, why didn't she just tell us she had started her periods when we first noticed she was being odd?" "Perhaps she didn't feel she could. I understand there were some immature comments made about her shorts looking bulky and one or two people made an inappropriate connection with her wriggling that morning. That immediately makes someone upset and if it had been true, it certainly wouldn't have helped matters." Miss Wilmot looked round them all. "Suppose we try to understand how Joanna was feeling before, during and after her period. Put your pens down and listen to me." The form laid their pens down and focused their attention on her. "You are fourteen and you return to school after the holidays to find you have been made form prefect. This surprises you a little since you have no special friends amongst the form and are the youngest in it but you do your best. Unfortunately, you find this means people expect you to behave in a certain manner and find yourself solving other people's problems in the course of your duties but with no one to turn to yourself when you have a problem. You start to feel unaccountably irritable and moody and then you feel like you want to burst into tears for no reason at all. You've no idea why you should be feeling like this and are longing to talk it over with someone but who? Someone of your own age would be best but you don't know anyone well enough to do so. A mistress? No, you don't want to have to tell an adult you feel odd - they might laugh at you. Perhaps if you just keep quiet, it will go away. It doesn't and you suddenly think about what happened when you were seven years old. Your grandmother had just died and you were scared to be by yourself so rather than go to the Splashery to excuse yourself, you would often find yourself being excused in the classroom in the middle of a lesson. Not deliberately but you would wait and wait hoping you could get someone to go with you at the next Break time. Of course, after a while, everyone knew who it was every time there was a puddle on the floor or a smell in the room but you were powerless to do anything because you couldn't get over your fear. Eventually, you confide your fear to someone who tells you to raise your hand when you need to be excused and someone will go with you. Even then, you are not trusted and have to be investigated in front of your entire class. Eventually that stops and you get on with your life. You forget about your problem until one day, you find your knickers are unaccountably wet. You don't remember wetting yourself but leap to that conclusion and decide your old problem has returned. You feel awkward and embarrassed - you are fourteen after all and too old for accidents. What do you do?" The girls were all listening hard and Miss Wilmot looked round them all. "Any volunteers to continue from here? Heather, how about you?" |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:04pm "Well," Heather stood up, "I think I'd probably want to sit and cry somewhere. I wouldn't want to have to tell a mistress or Matron that even though I was fourteen, I couldn't manage to excuse myself properly and didn't even know I was doing it. But I'd know I needed help and would wonder how I could get it without having to tell someone what I thought was happening. I wouldn't be able to talk properly to my form or even be with them in case, well, in case I wet myself in the middle of talking to them or pooed my pants and have to sit or stand there while they all went on about what a smell there was in the room and I couldn't own up. I'd want to run away." "Thank you, Heather." Heather sat down and Miss Wilmot continued. "Fortunately, a mistress comes along and you find yourself telling her that you think you've wet your knickers while she's been talking to you but in the absence of a puddle, the mistress is able to guess that you have really started your periods. She takes you to Matron who talks to you about menstruation and what it means and kits you out with protection. You have a tummy ache and go to bed for the rest of the afternoon. You have to change your towel during the afternoon but Matron sorts you out when you get muddled with it all. The next day, you return to School and find everyone laughing at you because wearing a towel makes you feel so uncomfortable you can't walk properly." "I don't see how." Ruth muttered. "You will get the chance to find out, Ruth." Miss Wilmot replied. "You're also anxious because Matron tucked a spare pair of knickers into your pocket just in case you needed them and you're scared that if people find out, they'll think exactly what you don't want them to think - that your old problem has returned. During the morning, you realise that you need to be excused and you need to change your towel. You panic, thinking you won't manage and decide to put off going to the Splashery until Break when you can take as long as you like and if needs be find Matron to help, without getting into trouble for taking too long. Unfortunately, you start to wriggle because you get desperate but still can't admit to needing to be excused until Matron appears and marches you off to the Splashery. You are pleased because you find you can manage to change your towel after all but then it is Games in the afternoon and you cannot avoid it. Your towel makes your shorts look bulky but you have no friend to help you out when people start asking if you've stuffed something down the back of your shorts or if your wriggling was because you had dirty knickers and you don't want to tell people you're not specially friendly with that you've started your periods - it is far too private. How does it make you feel when people start commenting on your bulky looking shorts? Hannah?" "Miserable." Hannah stood up. "And I'd think that I definitely couldn't tell people I'd started my period; they probably wouldn't believe me. They'd think I was just covering." "Thank you. The end result of all the comments is that you cry yourself sick and end up in bed for a week. You return and even then, people don’t leave you alone. You spend a miserable three weeks, refusing all offers of help because you’re scared of telling tales or making the bullying worse, not even when you are asked to relinquish your post as form prefect do you tell anyone, and then, your period arrives out the blue and it is some time before you realise it has started. By that time, your knickers are in a mess and it’s stained the back of your dress. You change but since you cannot see the back of your dress, you do not know it’s been stained until your own form start laughing and pointing at you. You do no work in Geography and cry silently throughout and it’s only thanks to the kindness, sympathy and understanding of the mistress that you eventually get help.” Miss Wilmot stopped. "If Joanna's problem had come back, the best thing you could have done would have been to speak to Matron or a mistress and get them to help Joanna. Now pick up your pens and write about why your behaviour was so wrong, what you should have done and said and how you intend to improve on it. And remember, you will be expected to show people you are sorry and are helping Joanna so keep it realistic. That is all." |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:05pm Thanks to Miss Wilmot, Miss Annersley found herself presented with a set of thoroughly prepared essays - for the most part anyway. There were still three or four girls who could not be convinced that their behaviour was out of order and their essays showed it. Miss Annersley read their essays with a deep frown on her face - they were all similar in content, analysing what bullying was and then going on to say that all bullying was was teasing and people shouldn't give in to people who are weak enough to cry because someone has said something nasty to them. "Well, what are they like?" Miss Wilson demanded. "Most of them show a real understanding of what they have done and a grasp of how they should handle the situation now but there are three or four that really show no repentance at all. Here." She passed the four over. "Ruth Johnson, Sarah Gordon, Caroline Scarlett and Anne Powell; the usual set then." Miss Wilson commented. "Well, I don't think you need worry too much about Caroline or Anne, they're a featherheaded pair who only go along with Ruth and Sarah because it saves thinking for themselves. Their form will see to them and I think Sarah will knuckle fairly quickly - she has too high an opinion of herself and her popularity to stand out from the crowd for too long - Ruth, on the other hand, could be a problem.” "She could indeed." The Head sighed. "She came to us with a reputation for bullying and despite her year here, I've seen very little improvement. Well, we will see what happens when she realises I intend to carry through with my threat of keeping any girl who does not show any desire to improve, away from everybody else." Miss Wilson had prophesied truly about Caroline, Sarah and Anne, before the end of the following day, those three had added their voices to the rest of the form's vow to change and it only remained for Ruth to come forward. Unknown to Miss Annersley, however both her form and Nature combined to take a hand and before very many more days were up, Ruth was feeling very sorry for herself. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:07pm Beth Carroll, now form prefect, found her first important task of the term was to deal with Ruth who was still stubbornly refusing to believe that she had done anything wrong and had even ventured to say that perhaps Joanna's old problem had returned and the staff were saying she had started her periods to cover it up. Her remark, had fortunately, fallen on deaf ears for Upper IVa had been forbidden to speak to her until she had admitted herself at fault and been forgiven. She joined them for lessons - the Head refused to let her education suffer - but she sat at the side of the mistress' desk and was strictly supervised. It was Miss Wilmot that gave Beth a way of making Ruth see how wrong she was and two days after that awful day when they had come down to earth with a bump, Beth foregathered her form – Joanna had once again run a temperature and therefore had spent the weekend in San and Daisy now planned to have her for the following two days. "Shouldn't Ruth be here?" Sarah Gordon asked. "She's still in confinement, remember?" Beth pointed out, none too pleasantly. "Anyway, it's because of her that I wanted this meeting. We all know that she's refused to see that she was wrong or that Joanna really has started her periods? Do you remember what Miss Wilmot said when Ruth didn't believe Joanna found the towel uncomfortable to wear? She said Ruth would get the chance to find out. I vote that's what we do!" "Do what?" Anne Powell asked, fogged by this. "Make her wear a towel." "But how? We can't exactly pin her against the wall, pull her knickers down and fix the towel on her!" Hannah objected. "No, of course not! If we did it by ourselves, we'd get into no end of trouble! No, I was thinking we should put our suggestion to the Head and Matey." "I tell you what would be even better," Heather began thoughtfully. "how about if all of us who haven't started yet do it? We don't have to do it at the same time as Ruth, but it would be good practice for when we start ourselves. And think of the hassle it would save Matey! I mean, I know about them and everything but I don't know if I'd manage to sort myself out first time without any help! I don't even know if I'd really want Matey to have to fix it for me! I can't quite get my head round this idea of having this great big thing between your legs - it sounds like a nappy!" The next moment, she was staring shocked silence for Lisa Hoffman was lifting up her dress and pulling down her knickers to show her towel. "Lisa!" It was a shocked chorus. "What on earth are you doing?! Pull your knickers up and don't be so horrible!" "But you want to see what it looks like." Lisa objected. "Not like that we don't!" Beth said sharply. "If you're going to do that type of thing again, you can jolly well go now!" “Sorry.” Lisa muttered, putting herself to rights. "It'd be a waste of towels." Heather said doubtfully. "We'll offer to buy a pack between ourselves and do it that way. Let's put it to the Head first and see what she says. Rather her than Matey." Beth, Heather and Hannah went to the Head to put their request and Miss Annersley had to bite her lips more than once to stop herself from laughing out loud. She promised to speak to Matron and see what she had to say and she only just managed to wait until the three had gone and were out of earshot before she let herself go in peals of laughter. "What on earth?" Rosalie Dene had come hurrying from her office. "Hilda! What is so funny?" "Th-those babes want to practice wearing sanitary towels!" The Head choked, tears streaming down her face. "What? What are you talking about?" "They want to be as prepared as they can be for when the momentous event occurs and they therefore wish to wear sanitary towels for a day." Miss Annersley explained. "And are you going to let them?" Rosalie demanded, as well as she could for her own giggles. "I think I shall suggest Daisy incorporates it as part of her talk with them - let's them try them out. I'll have to speak to Matey first though.” Matron, when approached, couldn't quite believe her ears and the Head had to repeat the Senior Middles' request three times. "Bless my soul!" Matey said blankly. "What will they do next?!" "They'll find a way whether you agree or not, Gwynneth." Rosalie remarked, having demanded to be present when she was told. "You might as well let them. It's harmless after all - but oh may I be there when they start waddling around the place like a set of ducks!" She set them all off laughing again and then the Head put her suggestion to Matron, who agreed. That organised, it only remained for her to tell the form. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:08pm Miss Annersley sent for Beth and told her they could have their way. "However," she held up a finger warningly, "I don't suggest you wear them for an entire day. Dr Rosomon will be coming to talk to you all and she will incorporate letting you experiment with them then. Matron accepts your plan to buy a packet between you so a mistress will buy them for you at the weekend and you may pay whoever it is back. Also, any girl who would rather not try it, is not be forced into doing so." "I-I'm not sure anymore." Beth stammered and the Head looked startled. "Why?" She asked, leaning back in her chair. "I-well-it's a bit immature. It was a silly suggestion." "Come here to me." The Head held her hand out and Beth went over to her. Miss Annersley sat her down on her knee. "Now, what's happened? You told me it would be a good way to help you all overcome your embarrassment and awkwardness over it and now you're saying you don't want to do it." "I-it's j-just it seems a bit silly now." Beth looked upset. "Why does it seem silly?" The Head eyed her curiously. "I shan't force you into doing it Beth but I would like to know what's made you change your mind.” "S-someone thinks it's silly.” "Well she doesn't have to take part if she doesn't want to; but that's no reason why the rest of you shouldn't have a go." "S-she's not in my form. I-it's L-Louisa." "Your sister?" The Head's face cleared, she knew how much Beth valued the opinion of her elder sister and could also guess at how scathing an important member of VIb could have been and she knew Beth was very sensitive. "She said we were behaving like KG babies over it all and that we'd have the entire school laughing at us. She said we didn't know what we were talking about and that we were being stupid and making a big deal out of nothing as it was the simplest thing in the world to do. S-she said nothing we could do would make up for us being horrible to Joanna and that she was ashamed of me." "I think Louisa's the one being silly." Miss Annersley said gently. "It's a very sensible idea to get an idea of how to cope with menstruation before you start so that you are as prepared as you can be and don't find it the frightening experience Joanna did. Louisa knows nothing about what happened except what you may have told her or what she has heard through other people and she is in no position to comment on it. You were all behaving in a disgusting manner and I was thoroughly ashamed of you all but bar Ruth, you have all shown yourselves to be very sorry and to have learnt from your experience. You're all doing your best to make amends and I'm very proud of the way you are trying to prevent anything like this happening again and are increasing your knowledge of something that is rarely talked about. Louisa has had periods for a few years now and I expect she feels all grown up when her little sister starts talking about it and is showing off a little. It has nothing to do with her, even if she is your sister and you mustn't let her ideas or the ideas of anyone else put you off. They need never know what happens during your talk with Dr Rosomon and if they do find out, remember that it was to help you find a way of feeling at ease with the changes you are going to experience and was not, in any way, a way of making fun out of what was going to happen. You are all taking it seriously and I'm pleased to see it. In this life, Beth, there will always be people who think they know better or disagree with you on things, learn to have the courage of your convictions and the confidence to carry them through. Now, mop up and then run along and tell your form that I've given you my permission. Oh and Beth, I know you'd like to see how Ruth copes when she has to wear a towel but I'm afraid pointing out to her that how she behaves when she wears one is no different to Joanna, may only make her angrier and I don't wish Joanna to suffer when she returns to you. Ruth will suffer far more if she is left out and just at the moment, I think that is her best medicine. Now, run along and don't worry about other people." She gave Beth a brilliant smile and sent her away. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:10pm Beth returned to her form, via the Splashery where she sponged her face, and delivered her news. "But she says we're not to make Ruth wear a towel. She says it will be more of a punishment for her if she's left out when we all experiment and she can only watch.” "But how are we supposed to show her that she's wrong?" Hannah demanded. "I don't know." Beth sighed. "There's one thing for sure, I'm not doing anything that might get us in trouble for bullying again! We'll just have to leave it to the staff and I suppose they've a point. The longer she keeps this up, the longer she'll be out of everything and spending your free time with Matey can't be much fun for anyone." "No, that's true." Heather agreed. "Oh well, it was worth a try and after all, she'll start one day and then maybe she'll work it out." The form gave it up for the moment for Beth and Heather, ably backed up by Hannah and spurred on by their positions were proving to be leaders and the days until the return of Joanna passed peacefully, much to the relief of the powers that be who had wondered at times if there would be any backlash. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:11pm Joanna meanwhile had had a pleasant time with Daisy who had talked through her fears and worries and reassured her but it was with a feeling of dread that she viewed her return to School and Daisy gave her a sympathetic smile as she watched her struggle with her breakfast. "Don't worry too much, Jo, I'm sure you'll have no problems. If I know anything of Miss Annersley and I certainly do - they'll all be feeling very sorry for themselves by now and be as keen as mustard to make it up to you." "I doubt it. They don't like me." Joanna murmured. "They do like you." Daisy corrected. "If they didn't, you wouldn't ever have been made form prefect. They've simply behaved as they did because they thought that you were excusing yourself in your knickers and they didn't quite know what they were supposed to do about that. They've been little ninnies over it and my guess is they're feeling as embarrassed and awkward as you are." She said no more, realising that only time would prove her right but got on with her own meal and then, their respective toilets etc. seen to, they headed to the School, just as the bell for Prayers went. Joanna looked aghast - she had hoped to miss it, having no desire for a public entrance. "Keep calm, my love." Daisy grinned at her, spotting the change of expression. She laid a hand on Joanna's shoulder and steered her along to the study, pushing the girl in ahead of her when Miss Annersley bade them enter. "Hello, you two." She smiled her welcome at the pair. "Feeling better, Joanna?" "Yes, thank you." Joanna murmured shyly. "Good! Well, I think we'll spare you Prayers but I must be going so suppose you say goodbye to Dr Rosomon and then run up to your dormitory and unpack. Go straight to your formroom when you've finished and wait for your form there.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:12pm Fifteen minutes later, Joanna made her way quakingly to the formroom and got out her books before sitting down to nervously await the arrival of her form. She was so nervous that she found herself needing to be excused and slipped along to the Splashery just as Prayers ended. By the time she returned, her form had arrived and it took all her courage to enter. "Jo, oh good!" Beth came to Joanna's side. "Come along and sit down next to me! Heather's joining up with Hannah but I've been made form prefect now and I'm jolly well going to need your help so I'll be picking your brains whenever I can! Heather's my second and she's not managed to produce more than one or two bright ideas so far!" "Speak for yourself!" Heather retorted. "Ignore her, Jo, she's talking her usual amount of nonsense." "Nonsense yourself!" Beth retorted in her turn. Then, aware of the row that was happening around them, "I say, people, pipe down! Get your books out and sit down!" Joanna, with a little wistful smile, couldn't help but notice how she was obeyed almost instantly. Beth saw Joanna's little wistful smile but she could do nothing about it just then since Mdlle entered and their French lesson started. It was rapidly followed by Latin and they were kept at it hard until Break, when milk and biscuits consumed, Beth drew Joanna off by herself. "Are you OK?" She asked as the younger girl looked at her questioningly. "I mean really OK? You looked a bit miserable earlier." "It was just - oh nothing, it doesn't matter." Joanna turned away but Beth was having none of it. "Tell me, Jo." She said persuasively. "I know we've been perfectly beastly to you." Joanna looked at Beth doubtfully; Beth had never been unkind to her although she had done little to stop the remarks of the others and she had been perfectly friendly so far but Joanna was still reluctant to confide in her. "Jo?" Beth prompted and Joanna made up her mind. "The last time I saw you all, I was the laughing stock of the entire form; no one would listen to me or take me seriously at all, not even when I was giving orders as form prefect. Now, you're being perfectly friendly and wanting me to tell you what I'm thinking but how can I? How do I know that you're not just going to go the nearest person and start making fun of me again? Or that the next time I start my period, you're all going to ridicule me again? Not one of you bothered to try and talk to me before I started my period that first time and if it hadn't been for Ferry, I'd have spent four or five days constantly changing my knickers because I thought I'd wet myself! As it is, you all just laughed thinking I'd dirtied myself - I couldn't help my shorts looking bulky but if you were that bothered, why didn't you just ask? Did you not stop to think that if I had, I'd have smelt to high heaven and Burnie wouldn't have stood it for a second? Neither would Miss Stone or Matron! I was wriggling because I knew I needed to be excused but it meant changing my towel as well and I'd never done it by myself before so I was jolly scared I was going to muck it up and then get into trouble for taking so long! Matron knew what was wrong but do you really think that if I'd just been wriggling because I needed to be excused, she'd not have checked me afterwards to make sure I was clean and dry? That's what she did to Susie Thompson at the start of the term and Susie had wet herself because she'd left it too long! What's more, you'd all have known about it if I had because she'd have investigated me in front of you all as a lesson to go to the bathroom when you need to go and not when you can be bothered to go, like she did with Susie! None of you laughed at her though, you all said it was just rotten luck and never mentioned it again! Sorry Beth, but you can't just wave a magic wand and make it all better! One of the first things you said was that you were form prefect now - how do you think that makes me feel? I might not have wanted to do it in the first place and I might be jolly glad I'm not anymore but that doesn't mean I like it when I have to sit and watch someone else give an order that's obeyed straight away - the same kind of order that no one took any notice of when I gave it to them! And it's not exactly nice when the first person to speak to you can't wait to inform you she's form prefect and doesn't bother to ask how you are! You might have had a rotten time over the past week but I've had a rotten time for ages only I've no one I can compare notes with! Now, please, just leave me alone and stop trying to be my friend! You never wanted to in the first place so why pretend now?!" With that Joanna shrugged Beth's arm away and stormed off and Beth bit her lips, trying hard not to cry. She had honestly only meant to be friendly and Joanna's outburst had hurt her. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:14pm "Bethy." A hand was laid on her shoulder and her name spoken gently, Beth turned to see her elder sister Louisa behind her. "Come to laugh at me again, have you?" Beth demanded, her voice none too steady. "No, I've come to say I'm sorry and to find out if you're OK." Louisa replied. "I am sorry, Bethy, I really didn't mean to upset you and Miss Annersley told me I had before you start saying I hadn't. It just reminded me a bit of how I'd been before I started and looking back I can't believe what an idiot I was over it all and I didn't want the same for you. I didn't really know why you were doing it though but now I do and I'm sorry for upsetting you. Friends again?" Beth nodded. "Good! Now tell me what Joanna said to upset you." She pulled Beth down onto the step - they were outside and slipped an arm round her, while Beth told her what had happened. "I only wanted to make it up to her." Beth ended, in tears and Louisa gave her a hug. "Look, I don't really understand this as I don't know what's been going on - other than that you were all in trouble for bullying Joanna over starting her period - there's no time now but I'll fix something up later. Now buck up do! You will be able to set things right, just not straight away and Joanna will calm down and realise you were just being friendly. Scram and give your face a splash, the bell will go any minute!" Beth scrammed, happier for the chat and Louisa wandered back to her own set, wondering what she could do. Louisa and Beth had their talk and Louisa was scathing to say the least about the behaviour of the form towards Joanna. "It wasn't exactly tactful to barge in with "I'm form prefect now" was it?" She pointed out. "If it was Heather or Hannah, you'd have felt jolly awkward about being form prefect in their stead. Joanna may not have liked being form prefect but she's probably just a little jealous. It's an honour and she had to give it up, even though it wasn’t her fault. If it wasn't for you lot and the way you'd behaved, she'd not have needed to give it up. She's scared you're all about to laugh at her again and she doesn't know if she can trust any of you. She's probably dying to talk to someone about what a weird time she's had but who? Ferry's all very well but she's a mistress and doesn't see things in the same way as us. She doesn't have much to do with her old form anymore and she must be pretty lonely and miserable. If you're going to offer her friendship, you're going to have to make her see that she can trust you and you really do want her friendship. You're pretty popular you know, Beth and she's going to want to know why you want another friend and why her? After all, you've never bothered before. You can't expect to have an all in all friendship with her straight away, give her a chance to get used to being with you all again and be friendly to her. Include her in things, ask her opinion - why not ask her what her first time was like because you'd like to know what your first time might be like? Get to know her properly and let her get to know you before you decide what kind of friendship you want with her. And show her or tell her you know you were wrong and why you were wrong. And Beth, don't hurry it, she'll open up to you in her own time." With this final piece of advice, the sisters went their own ways and Beth conveyed what had been said to her own particular chums. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:15pm Joanna meanwhile had spent a miserable day, feeling very guilty over how she had behaved with Beth. She recognised the older girl was only trying to be friendly but she wasn't yet ready to forgive her form for what they had done and she certainly could not forget it. "Yet how am I ever going to make friends if I can't put it all behind me?" She thought miserably from the corner she was occupying in the Splashery after Abendessen - nerves and fear had got the better of her and she had so far avoided being left alone with her form wherever possible. She heaved a sigh and a passing Senior heard and glanced in. “Hey! Don't sigh like that!" The girl laughed, coming in. "You almost blew me right down the corridor! What are you doing in here, my love? You'll be in a heap of trouble if the prees catch you!" "I'm not doing anything." Joanna snapped and the girl's eyebrows shot up. "I never said you were." She remarked. "I was only offering a piece of friendly advice. It's up to you what you do, of course but I hope for your sake you don't get caught." She turned on her heel and walked out, leaving Joanna wondering miserably who she would manage to offend next. In the end she decided not to risk it and removed herself upstairs, where she attempted to find a Matron to request early bed and on failing to do so, took herself to bed anyway and cried herself to sleep - much to the concern of Matron when she found her. "Joanna's cried herself to sleep." She said anxiously to Miss Annersley later that evening. "Yes; that doesn't entirely surprise me." The Head said thoughtfully. "I rather think she's having trouble settling down again - I had Louisa Carroll come to me earlier to ask if there was any chance she and Beth could miss rest period for once. Of course, I immediately assumed something was wrong at home and questioned her closely but I was wrong. It appears Beth tried to make friends with Joanna who lost her temper and Beth was quite upset by it. I suspect Joanna is just as upset and a little confused. She's erected a protective barrier around herself and she's not ready to trust anyone again in case she gets hurt. There's little we can do, Gwynneth, apart from keep an eye on things. It will take time for things to sort themselves out and it's best left to her form. If they can but persist in being friendly and kind, she'll let her guard down little by little and once she realises they're in earnest, she'll start to trust them and let them get to know her." |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:16pm Matron hadn't been the only person to find that Joanna had cried herself to sleep that night, Beth had peeped in, worried by the fact that she had not appeared in the common room. Joanna's red eyes and the occasional sob she gave in her sleep convinced Beth to forget Joanna's outburst and continue to try and be friendly with her. She took fair warning from the outburst though and decided she would not try to force Joanna's confidence. The following morning, therefore, she poked a smiling face round the curtains that divided their two cubicles. "Morning, Jo! Be a dear and do my hair for me, will you? Matey's been saying things about my plaits looking messy - I can never get it straight and plait it tight enough so I have to keep redoing it during the day and it's a nightmare! I wish Mummy would let me have it all cut off!" "She couldn't!" Joanna said, in shocked tones. "It's lovely hair, Beth!” She set to work to do her plaits, helped by the little encounter, at least Beth wasn't angry with her over yesterday - the two hadn't said very much to each other after her outburst. She knew she would have to apologise though and once they were in the common room, she tried to say something to Beth. "Don't apologise!" Beth interrupted sharply. "You were right and I shouldn't have gone barging in and expecting you to want to be chummy straight away. I'm really sorry; I wasn't very tactful. But, look, I really am truly sorry for everything we've said and done and it won't happen again. We were immature and complete beasts and we're all truly sorry, aren't we?" She turned to her form who all chorused their agreement - Ruth was not in the room so there were no dissenters. "Thank you." Joanna murmured uncomfortably. "Where's Ruth?" She added. "She doesn't think what we did was wrong so she's still being kept away from us except in lessons." Heather replied, honestly. "Don't worry, Jo, she's not allowed to speak to any of us until she's proved to be truly sorry and my guess is, that won't be too far away. The Abbess won't stand for it much longer. Anyway, today ought to be good, we've got Dr Rosomon coming to talk to us about periods and that means no lessons - yippee!" She cheered and they all laughed, Joanna included. "You'd better hope we're not set an essay or made to take notes then!" Hannah remarked wickedly and Heather fell on her. "Hannah Mclaren! What a ghastly idea! They couldn't! They wouldn't!" "They might if they hear you cheering about not having any work to do!" Hannah chortled, just as the bell for Fruhstuck went, by the end of which Heather had calmed herself down. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:18pm Joanna still had one more hurdle to face - she had not yet seen Miss Ferrars, except in the distance. She really wasn't very sure what to say or how to behave with the mistress and she sat uncomfortably through Registration. She was relieved when the bell rang for Prayers but she became anxious once more when Miss Ferrars caught her and told her to return to her formroom at Break, once she had had her milk and biscuits. The mistress knew that unless she got hold of Joanna early on the girl would feel awkward and embarrassed around her and then it would be difficult for her to confide in the mistress the next time she came across a problem she could not solve by herself, be it linked to recent events or otherwise. Joanna felt that the time until Break had never gone so slowly and it took all her concentration to keep her attention on her lessons, although her work was still less well done than usual. She duly appeared in the form room, quaking with nerves, having consumed her milk and biscuits and found Miss Ferrars waiting for her, sipping a cup of coffee thoughtfully. "Here you are!" The mistress smiled. "You were very quick! Well, come along and sit down and tell me how you're doing. I see you've changed desks." She added with a smile. "Beth did that; not me." Joanna mumbled. "And do you like where you're sitting or would you rather not have been moved?" "I don't know; it depends on why she wants me next to her." "Well why do you think she does?" "Because they've all been in trouble for being horrible to me and now they're trying to be nice to stay out of trouble." "I don't think that's quite true." Miss Ferrars said thoughtfully. "Beth and Heather are very close friends and I don't think they'd have moved apart just for the sake of keeping out of trouble. Apart from which, there are other ways of being nice to you, without having you next to her. You know, most of the girls liked you until recently and I don't think they stopped liking you, but you weren't behaving in the way you always had and they drew their own conclusions. We've been over that before and I don't think there's anything to be gained from going over it again but what you have to see is that they are all or all but Ruth truly sorry for what they have done and are trying to make it up to you. Nobody's expecting you to confide your innermost feelings to the first person who's friendly towards you but don't push them away, Joanna. Return their friendly advances and try to believe that they're not going to tease you again. Let them get to know you properly - let them find out who the real Joanna is and what she thinks about things - and you'll find close friendships will happen naturally. Don't make yourself unhappy by refusing to talk to them or keeping away from them." "I-it's just I keep thinking they're going to talk to the nearest person and have a good laugh at what I just said." "Well they're not." Miss Ferrars said firmly. "Miss Wilmot made them see things from your point of view - she made them imagine they were you and how they would think and feel and most of them could see how unhappy they'd made you when they said they'd react as you did and then realised how they had treated you when you did react like that. Do you see what I mean?" "Y-you mean they said they'd walk oddly and find it weird and not want to tell people they'd started their period and then realised how awful it must have been for me when they all laughed at me?" Joanna attempted. "Exactly!" Miss Ferrars said approvingly. "Give them a chance Joanna and I'm sure you'll find things improving. Take it one step at a time and if you get into difficulties, come and talk to myself or Miss Annersley." She ended with a smile. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:19pm Daisy came and had her talk with them that afternoon. Some of the girls who had already started their periods were fully expecting to be bored by it - after all who wanted to have a lecture on something they knew all there was to know about - but Daisy had not been a wicked Middle in her time for nothing. "I think you all know why I'm here," she began, smilingly. "Miss Annersley feels that it would be a good idea if I talked to you about menstruation - that is periods." This last as some of the younger members of Upper IVb looked a little puzzled by the word. "You're all in the thirteen to fifteen age range and that's when you are most likely to start your period. Some of you will already have started, I know but for most of you, the event has yet to happen and may come as a shock to you when it does happen." There were one or two glances directed at Joanna and Daisy smiled slightly. "Yes; I believe you all know that Joanna started her periods recently and it came as a shock to her - as indeed it has done to quite a few other people in the past and we thought that by giving you a talk on it, it may help you prepare for what can be a confusing and frightening time. I expect some of you, at any rate, have a fair idea about the subject so suppose we make this two sided? You tell me what you know and I'll add in the bits you don't. When I think we've covered everything, you'll get the chance to ask questions and then I'll divide you up into groups and you can play out some role plays. I believe some of you wish to experiment with the towels you have to wear during your period and you will be sent off in groups to do this. Furthermore, I shall be borrowing Upper IVa's form room and will see you all individually to make sure you're all happy with what's involved. It is a private subject and some of you may not be happy asking questions in front of your formmates so I thought I'd give you the chance to do it individually as well. Now, suppose we split you into two groups? Those of you who have started your periods, go the left of Hall and those of you who haven't, go to the right. Anyone who feels they would rather not have everyone knowing they've started their periods, stay on the right also." She didn't want any girl feeling pressured into admitting it if she wasn't comfortable with the situation. The girls were soon divided up and she found herself with approximately eight girls on the left, the vast majority on the right. This was as she had expected so she made no comment on it. "Now, who can tell me about puberty? We'll start there, I think." |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:21pm "What exactly do you want to know?" Someone asked. "Anything you like to tell me about it." Daisy replied amiably. "What is it, first of all? Oh and do tell me your names, when you answer me, won't you? I can't be forever saying 'you' all the time!" She gave them a charming smile and then Beth, seeing that everyone else was shy of starting, got up. After all, she thought, I'm form prefect of the elder form so it ought to be me starting it and it's down to us being so beastly that we're all here. "I'm Beth Carroll." She gave Daisy her name. "Puberty is what it's called when our bodies start growing up - I mean," she added, flushing at the giggles this met with, "when we start changing - our breasts get bigger, we get hair under our arms and on our legs and also well, um, down below." There were even more giggles as she ended and while Beth sat down, purple with embarrassment, Daisy looked grim. "Silence!" She held up her hand for silence. "Get this," she said quietly when she had got it, "we are here to talk about our bodies and I don't expect to hear any stupid giggling about it. It isn't a comfortable subject for anyone but the next person to giggle in this stupid, immature way, may remove herself from Hall and report to Matron. Is that clear?" They indicated that it was. "Good! Well done, Beth, that's an excellent start! Can anyone add a little more to it?" Gradually, the atmosphere relaxed and information came thick and fast until Daisy felt they had covered everything and moved on to the question and answer and then to the role plays. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:22pm Daisy looked round the room and then nodded to herself. "OK everyone, divide yourselves up into groups of four each and then find a corner or somewhere for your group. Once you're all settled, one person from each group come and collect a sheet from me." "Won't Ruth be mad at missing out on this?" Beth remarked to Heather as they caught up their chairs. "Serves her right! She's had a week now to say she's sorry and she's not done so! Hey Jo!" She broke off to summon Joanna over to her. "Don't just stand there looking like you're not wanted! Grab your chair and come on! Where's Hannah?" "Here." Hannah said from behind them. "I say! This is much more fun than I thought it would be! I wonder what she's going to get us to do?" "We'll find out in a sec." Beth replied as they settled themselves in a corner. "Go on and get a sheet, Heather." Heather ran off and presently returned, waving a sheet at her friends. "What's it say?" Beth demanded. "First one is this: 'You've gone to the toilet and discovered a reddish stain on your knickers and you don't know what it is – what do you do?' Second one: 'You're in the middle of a Games lesson and you suddenly realise that the girl beside you looks like she's wet herself - what do you do?' Third is the same more or less except you're in the common room and the back of someone's frock is stained with blood and the Fourth: 'Someone comes to you and says she's been to the bathroom and she's bleeding but she doesn't know why. How do you help her?' We've to do the lot, she says and then choose one to show her." "The first one's all very well but we wear navy knickers and it wouldn't look red, it'd just look wet and then I'd just think I'd wet myself a little." Hannah objected. "That's what I thought." Joanna volunteered shyly. "Only it was a bit more than a stain." "Well OK, let's say you've got a bit of toilet paper and tried to dry the stain using that and realised it's blood." Heather suggested. "Then what do you do?" "Go and find Matron and tell her." Hannah said promptly. "But if I didn't know what it was, I don't think I'd want to do that." Beth said thoughtfully. "For one thing, the first thing she'd do is demand to see my knickers and I'd be mortified to have to pull them down in front of her! Secondly, I'd not know where to look when she was telling me all about periods." "Well what would you do?" Hannah demanded. "You would have to do something." "I think I'd ask my sister for help." Beth said thoughtfully. "But what if you didn't have a sister?" Hannah said argumentatively. "Or what if your sister was in San and you couldn't see her?" "I suppose I'd go to a close friend and then if she couldn't help, I'd either just hope it went away or end up going to Matron. By the way, Jo, how did you get help?" Beth turned to Joanna. "Miss Ferrars wanted to know what was wrong with me." Joanna said, very red. "There wasn't anybody else with us and I knew I had to tell someone so I did." "Are we agreed then that we'd either go to a friend or a sister or ask a mistress or Matron for help?" Heather asked, guessing Joanna was finding it uncomfortable to talk about herself. "Yes? Right! What about the next?" They worked their way through the role plays and had just finished when Daisy clapped her hands for silence and requested volunteers to explain their solutions. After that, they were sent off in groups to the Splashery - those girls who had already started their periods obviously didn't need to experiment, but they found themselves dragged along to see the fun. Miss Ferrars was also there, primarily to make sure they didn't make too much noise but also because she too was dying to see the fun. As Beth, Heather, Hannah and five more girls got on with the job, amidst shrieks of laughter, Joanna found it a little hard to handle, wishing she had had all this before she started her periods and remembering how frightened and confused she had been. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:23pm She stood, staring unseeingly out of the window and Miss Ferrars moved over to her, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Penny for them, Jo." She said quietly and Jo turned to look at her, her eyes full of unshed tears. "Why couldn't it happen like this for me?" She whispered. "If it hadn't been you, it would have been somebody else." Miss Ferrars replied, matter of factly. "Jo, you must stop punishing yourself by going over and over it all and allowing yourself to feel miserable. It's in the past now and things are beginning to right themselves, slowly, I know, but it will come. The fact that the others are enjoying themselves so much now, is down to you. You brought the issue to our attention and it's thanks to you that the rest are finding out what it's really all about before it happens to them. You're not the first girl to have been alarmed by the arrival of her period, whether it was expected or unexpected and you certainly won't be the last! You are however, the only girl who has made people sit up and take notice and realise that we should be doing something to help you all learn about the changes in your body, even if you don't understand them. Feel proud of yourself for that - it's thanks to you that these people are beginning to feel comfortable about it all - and don't dwell on it until you feel miserable. We're all denied chances in life and sometimes we will see them given to other people - accept it and move on, ready to make the most of the next opportunity that comes your way. Use your experience to help other people who may find themselves in a similar situation." Back in Hall, the girls found the Head Girl, Second Prefect and Games Prefect, supervising them. Daisy had run along to Upper IVa's form room and was having a brief chat with each girl in turn. She did not say too much to them, aware it wasn't an easy topic of conversation, but ensured that each girl understood what had been discussed and gave her the opportunity to ask any questions that may have been bothering her. For the most part, the girls felt that everything had been covered, although one or two wanted her medical opinion on when they were likely to start and were most unsatisfied with the vague reply of anything up to a year, maybe more. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:24pm Ruth meanwhile had been out of all this - the fact that had it not been for her own stubbornness and stupidity, she would have been amongst the rest and therefore part of all the fun, completely escaped her. Despite over a week of solitary confinement, she still could not accept that her behaviour had been wrong. "After all," she thought to herself, "it's not my fault I jumped to the wrong conclusion. If Joanna had told everyone from the beginning that she had started her periods, no one would even have thought she was having accidents again! She didn't though and even when one or two of us asked her if she'd had an accident, she didn't say she'd started her periods - she didn't even deny that she'd had an accident! We all know she's had accidents before and so of course we were bound to think that when she started walking oddly again and her shorts and knickers looked so bulky." Ruth paused there, remembering with satisfaction, the look on Joanna's face when she, Ruth, had lifted Joanna's dress to reveal the bulky navy knickers and Joanna had accidentally on purpose passed wind at the same time, thereby convincing everybody that Joanna had had an accident. "We were just doing what judges and juries do - coming to a conclusion by taking account of all the available evidence! I mean, the only way we could have been positive would have been to have looked in her knickers and when you think someone's pooed her pants, you don't exactly want to look at it! That would be disgusting! And it's disgusting for a girl of our age to have accidents like that, so of course we'd say things to her! We thought she was having accidents and it's foul so we had to do something to get her to stop and we couldn't exactly blurt it out to the staff or prefects, so that was the only way! She could have stopped it all by simply saying she'd started her periods and found the towels bulky and awkward to use but she didn't and I don't see why we should all have got into trouble! That's why I'm not going to apologise - I'm sorry we reached the wrong conclusion but it's not our fault we did and I can hardly apologise for it! So she cried herself sick - well it serves her right for being stupid enough not to say anything!" Ruth had stuck steadfastly to this viewpoint, despite the best efforts of the Head to change her mind and had thus remained in solitary confinement. Some of the girls had been wondering why the Head had not expelled her but Miss Annersley, wise in her generation, knew that it was not the answer. "We've only ever had two expulsions in this school, both of them because the girl would have been far unhappier if she had stayed and because their actions left us with no choice." She said in the staffroom one evening. "Ruth has bullied Joanna, yes, but she was not the only one, she was part of a group of twenty odd girls. The only thing that is making her stand out, is her refusal to apologise and that in itself, shows that we are doing the right thing." "How on earth?" Nancy Wilmot stared at her Head. "Ruth could have chosen to end her punishment at any time by apologising. However, had she done so, it would have been a matter of words and words alone - she would not have meant what she said or understood why her actions were so wrong. That tells us that at bottom, she is decent and honest. She has continued with her punishment because she fails to see what it was she did wrong - expelling her would not be in her interest. She would simply go to another school with the same attitude and weighed down with resentment and anger. She needs to understand that she was wrong and when she does, she'll be ready to apologise. By continuing as we are, the stubborn pride will gradually melt and she'll start to question why she is still being kept away from the others. Doubt will creep into her mind and she will start to question her actions. We have six weeks of term left, if she has not come to her senses by then, then naturally, I will explain to her parents that unless there is change in attitude, I cannot accept her back." "Oh she'll have come to her senses by then." Matey said tolerantly. "The fact of the matter is that Ruth has yet to start her periods but thinks she knows all there is to know and therefore doesn't see Jo's embarrassment or refusal to admit to it." "In an ideal world, she'd start her periods or she'd have an accident herself and have to endure the taunting of others." Nancy Wilmot observed thoughtfully. "Well this is not an ideal world and we cannot bring on her periods or prevent her from using the lavatory!" Matron said tartly. All the same, Nancy had given her an idea. Ruth had a habit of waiting right up until the very last minute to be excused and over the next few days, she found Matron required to investigate her knickers when she returned and on a few occasions when Matron had found that she had wet herself a little, Matron removed her knickers and handed her a pair from the emergency stock she kept, waiting while the girl changed into them and then desiring her to wash her knickers by hand. And if Ruth let off a little gas or there was an odd smell in the room, she found herself lying across Matron’s lap while that lady looked at her knickers. All this was very humiliating for Ruth, but more was to come. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:26pm Ruth didn't quite dare to complain about this treatment to Matron but she was very humiliated and embarrassed by it. Eventually, of course, Ruth worked out that if she stopped leaving it to the last minute, she'd be in no danger of wetting herself and therefore by being dry all the time, there would be no need for Matron to change her. Unfortunately, it also meant that she did her best to keep out of Matron's way, and never reported to her when she woke with tummy ache every day. She managed to ignore it for the most part but on one particular day, it was so bad that she was almost in tears. The worst of it was that she couldn't report to Matron because her knickers felt wet, although she didn't think she had wet them and was too frightened over what that lady would say to her when she found out. The Head was taking them for their New Testament lesson and became concerned when she saw Ruth screw up her face as though she was about to cry a few times. Miss Dene appeared to call her away, however before she could do anything about it and Ruth was left without the help that would have been speedily forthcoming from Miss Annersley, who no matter how angry with a girl she might be, could never ignore such evident signs of distress. Not long after she had gone, Ruth dropped her pen on the floor and it rolled to just underneath the blackboard. Seeing no help for it, she got up to fetch it and as she did so, there was an audible gasp from her form. "She's wet herself." Sarah gasped. "Yuck! What a baby!" Anne exclaimed. "Looks like Matron had the right idea to check you whenever you'd been excused." Caroline commented. "But there's no puddle on her chair." Hilary Jones suddenly remarked. "Probably all been soaked up by her dress." Sarah said. "No; it doesn't look all that wet and anyway, it'd have been dripping if she had." Hilary answered. "Stop it!" Beth came to her senses as Ruth backed into a corner, crying. "You're doing nothing more than bullying and that makes us no better than she was with Joanna! Ruth you'd better take yourself to Matron and ask her to change you." "We'll explain to Miss Annersley." Heather added but Ruth stayed where she was, crouched in a corner sobbing. Joanna bounced to her feet and went over to her. "Ruth, do you remember wetting yourself?" She asked but Ruth shook her head. "A likely story." Sarah sneered. "Shut up!" Joanna snapped at her. "Ruth, do you have tummy ache at all?" "Y-yes. All week but it's worse today." Ruth wept. "And you feel like you've wet yourself?" "Yes." "Well I might be wrong but I think you've started your period." Joanna said. "If you go to Matron, she'll sort you out." "I can't." "You can." Beth and Heather came to Joanna's aid. "You have to, Ruth. You'll end up in a terrible mess otherwise." Heather said kindly but at this Ruth fled the room. Joanna was not so easily put off, however and followed her to the Splashery finding her curled up in a corner, sobbing. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:27pm "Go away! You'll get into a row for being here!" Ruth sobbed as Joanna appeared. "It's all right for me - I'm in a row already but you're not and you'll never get to be form prefect again if you break the rules." "You make it sound as though I want to be form prefect." Joanna remarked. "Well you do, don't you?" "Hardly! I've no idea why they appointed me in the first place but I definitely didn't want to do it and in some ways, I'm jolly glad about what happened as it gave me a good reason to stop being form prefect." "What do you mean?" "I couldn't continue being form prefect and giving out orders when I knew none of you were taking any notice of me and thought I was all kinds of a weird idiot." Joanna replied. "I know I brought a lot on myself by not telling everyone I'd started my periods and that's why I was behaving so oddly but it wasn't very nice, all the same. I was frightened and I had no idea what was happening to me and I had no one to talk to about it. Anyway, enough about me. Ruth, you must be in a dreadful mess if you have started your periods. Let me take you to Matron and she'll sort you out." "I can't." Ruth sobbed. "She'll think I've wet myself and she'll want to check me." "No she won't. Not if she thinks you've started your periods. You'll have to, Ruth, it's starting to show on your dress and she'll notice even if you don't tell her and then she'll be annoyed that you didn't go to her. I'm positive you have, it sounds exactly the same as I felt when I first started and the only way you can deal with it is to go to her and get her to give you what you need. Even if she is horrible about it and I'm sure she won't be, it'll only be a few minutes and it'd be worth it to feel clean and fresh again. I'm sure the only reason she kept checking you was to try to make you see how humiliating it is when people think you might've had an accident and you know you haven't and that you're too old to be having that kind of accident. They just wanted to do what they could to get you to see how much you'd upset me and how wrong you were, that's all. Please Ruth? If you won't go yourself, I'll have to go and find someone to make you go to her or find Matron herself. I'll give you two minutes to decide what you want to do." Joanna glanced at her watch and when the Head appeared a minute later, having been given an outline of the story by Beth, the two were sat in silence. She gave Joanna a quick look but the girl seemed quite calm so she was able to give her mind freely to helping Ruth. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:28pm "Can you tell me what's gone wrong, Jo?" She asked. "I've only had a bare outline from the others." "Ruth stood up to get her pen which had rolled along the floor and there was a wet patch on the back of her dress. I think she's started her periods because there was no puddle, she doesn't remember wetting herself and she's had tummy ache all week but it's been worse today. It sounds almost the same as me when I started. She's scared of going to Matron though because Matron's checking her all the time to make sure she's not wet her knickers when she comes back from being excused and she thinks Matron will be cross or think she's wet herself and check her before she can explain." Joanna summed things up neatly. "I see. Thank you, dear." Miss Annersley gave Joanna a smile. "Run along back to your form and I'll see you later." She waited until Joanna had gone and then turned to Ruth, pulling her out of her corner with gentle hands. "Come and we'll go to Matron together and see what she can do for you." She said gently. "Don't cry, Ruth, we'll sort it out." "I've been such a pig." Ruth howled. "We'll talk about all that another time. At the moment, you need a change and then I think you ought to be tucked up in bed for the afternoon with a hot water bottle." Ruth collapsed into her arms and the Head held her for a few minutes, speaking soothingly to her before firmly but gently leading her up to Matron. They met Matron Henschell half way there - Ruth's house Matron and an Old Girl of the school and she came to a full stop when she saw the pair. The Head glanced round swiftly but they were quite alone so she gave Matron Henschell a brief explanation. "I see. Well come along with me Ruth and we'll see what I can find for you. There's no need to cry about it - it happens to all of us girls sooner or later." She took charge of Ruth capably and kindly while the Head, promising Ruth that she would pop up and see her again as soon as she could manage it, swiftly made her way back to her interrupted lesson, relieved that Ruth looked like making good at last and pleased and surprised by the mature way Joanna had handled it. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:29pm The Head returned to the form room, conscious that most of her lesson had remained untaught and also conscious of the fact that there were only five minutes left before the start of the next lesson. She entered to find the form working but fidgeting restlessly. “Ruth is now with Matron,” she said, in reply to the questioning looks she received. “She is very much upset, since the arrival of her periods has taken her by surprise and I doubt you will see her for a day or two. I know a lot you feel that her suffering is no more than she deserves after her recent attitude but please remember none of you are without fault and she was not alone in the unpleasant behaviour of this form a few weeks ago. Her refusal to accept responsibility for her actions was not out of malice or spite, it was due to an inability on her part to understand why how she was wrong to act in the way she did. She could have apologised at any time and thus ended her punishment but she knew that had she done so, she would not have been honest with herself or anybody else and thus she kept quiet. I think she now sees the error of her ways and I hope that when she returns to you, you will welcome her wholeheartedly amongst you, once again. I shall not be setting you formal prep today but I would like you all to read the Gospels and think about what Jesus has to tell us about forgiveness. Now put your pens down and tidy your books away and then sit quietly please.” When the room was tidy and quiet once more, she requested them to line up at the door and then sent them out for a run round the grounds. All but Joanna went with alacrity – she had not moved from her seat but in the general rush to the door it had gone unnoticed. Now, though, the Head saw her and aware that something in the girl’s manner wasn’t quite right, went to her side. “Joanna, are you all right, my dear?” She asked anxiously. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:30pm “I-I.” Joanna said no more – she couldn’t. The reaction to her efforts with Ruth had set in for it had taken a great deal of courage for her to go after Ruth; she had been afraid the entire time that Ruth might try to take advantage of the situation to bully her, Joanna, once again. In addition to that, it had of course, brought back her own bad memories and now she was shaking like a leaf and on the verge of a storm of sobs. “I’m not ill.” She managed to gasp out. “No, you’re not ill,” the Head agreed, “but I think you could probably do with some peace and quiet for a while. I know it took a lot of courage to do what you did and it must have brought back some bad memories. Can you manage to walk, do you think?” “W-where to?” Joanna whispered. “My study, I think.” Miss Annersley smiled. “You shall lie down on my settee for a while. I am not teaching for the rest of the afternoon so you shall not be on your own. Come along, child.” She helped Joanna to her feet and with a supporting arm round her waist, led her out of the form room, meeting Miss Ferrars who was on her way to take her form for a Maths lesson. She looked anxious when she saw the pair emerge. “Ah, Miss Ferrars.” The Head remarked on seeing her. “Could you do me a great favour and collect my books up? Joanna’s not feeling herself so she’s going to lie down on my settee for a while.” “Of course.” The young mistress gathered together her Head’s possessions and then followed them to the study where Miss Annersley sat Joanna down and explained matters to Miss Ferrars. The mistress needed no other explanation and with a quick nod, returned to her form, giving them no opportunity to think of anything but algebra for the next forty minutes. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:31pm The Head meanwhile had her hands full with Joanna who had burst into tears the moment Miss Ferrars had closed the door behind her. “I was so scared.” Joanna sobbed. “I thought she’d try and make me feel stupid again. I thought maybe she’d know all about them and then burst out laughing that I thought I could help her.” “But she didn’t, did she?” The Head asked gently, putting her arms round Joanna. “I think she was very grateful to you for being there and showing yourself so ready to help.” “It’s been so hard.” Jo wept. “I know the others have been nice to me but for ages I kept expecting them to laugh at me or be nasty and I didn’t dare to think maybe they wanted to be friends in case it made them turn round and laugh at me again.” “Well I think I can put your mind at rest on that point, at least.” The Head told her. “You girls are not of an age or maturity to persist in something if your heart is not in it. I daresay to start with, your form were simply doing whatever they could to make it up to you but now, for some of them at least, there is a feeling that they would like to extend the hand of friendship to you and have you accept it. I know it’s been difficult this past week or so but you have no need to fear your form. They were all thoroughly ashamed of their behaviour and are not likely to repeat in a hurry. I know Ruth’s situation brought back a few bad memories but whilst I’m sure they’ll help you in situations such as today, I’d like you to try and put it behind you. If nothing else, I hope today has shown you that you are by no means the only girl to find starting periods a frightening and distressing experience. I also hope it shows you how far you’ve come.” “W-what do you mean?” “The very fact that you were able to help Ruth, shows how much you’ve learnt from your experience. You’ve come a long way from the frightened girl you were a few weeks ago. You’ve shown that you now understand what is happening to you and that you know how to cope with it but more than that, you’re now confident enough to pass your knowledge on to someone else. I know how distressing it was for you, Joanna and whilst I’m sure there will be times, like today, when it will be of help to you, I’d like you to try and put it behind you. Now, I’m going to clear this settee and then you can lie down and have a short nap. I don’t think there’s any need for you to go to bed but a short nap should put you right and then you ought to be able to join your form again. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:32pm Once Joanna had returned to her form, the Head, with a sigh for her neverending paperwork, ran up to San to find out how Ruth was. “Not good.” Matron Henschell said, in reply to her anxious question. “She’s slept a little but she’s been tossing and turning and crying a lot as well. She needs to talk, I think. She’s ready to accept she was wrong.” “And she needs forgiveness.” The Head finished. “Well I can forgive her from our point of view and provided she really does see the error of her ways, her punishment is ended but I’m afraid she won’t find it quite so easy with her form. I don’t say they’ll go to extreme lengths but she won’t be able to slip back into place as easily as she might hope.” “No; of course not. It will do her good if she finds it’s not as easy as she thought to settle back in, this isn’t the first time she’s been in trouble for bullying.” “Well let’s hope this proves a turning point.” Miss Annersley nodded at Matron Henschell and then passed swiftly through to where Ruth was tossing and turning restlessly. She had been stripped of her clothes, washed and put into fresh pyjamas and knickers, Matron Henschell having kindly shown her how to fix her towel. “Ruth, my dear girl, must you toss and turn like this? Your sheets must be all tangled up! Jump up and let me straighten them for you, and while I’m doing that, you can run along and wash your face – there can’t be any need to spoil your appearance like this! Here’s your sponge bag, now off you go!” While Ruth did as she was told, the Head turned to and straightened out the sheets, swapping the pillows so that the girl would have a cool fresh pillow to sleep against. “That’s better!” She looked up as a subdued Ruth appeared. “Now, I think perhaps today has shown you just how wrong your behaviour has been, has it not?” “Y-yes.” Ruth sat down on the bed again. “A-after the first bit, I didn’t mean it to be nasty, I just couldn’t apologise when I didn’t think I was wrong. I-I know different now.” She admitted, very red. “J-Joanna was so good to me.” |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:33pm “Yes, she went out of her way to be kind and helpful, spurred on because she knew what you were going through and exactly how you were feeling. That said, it was not easy for her, Ruth, she was very afraid you might have turned the situation to your advantage and ridiculed her. I’m telling you this because I hope that by doing so, you’ll fully appreciate just how difficult it was for her. I would like to know though, why you didn’t go to Matron when you first felt unwell? You’re not the type of girl to shy away from attention or to hide her feelings and you’ve never been backwards in asking for help before.” “S-she kept checking my knickers after I’d been excused.” The whole story tumbled out and the Head, who knew most of it, listened thoughtfully. “I can see you felt humiliated, Ruth and that was Matron’s intention. She wanted you to see that you are too old to be leaving such things to the last minute and thus risking an accident. She hoped that by treating you in this way you would realise just how wrong you were in your attitude when you thought Joanna had had an accident. She wanted you to see that if she had had, humiliation would not have helped, instead, an offer of help would have been better. I am perfectly sure that she never meant for you to refrain from asking her for help and she would have done what she could to help you. She may be strict but she’s never unfair and she would never refuse you help if you asked her for it. I shall leave it to her to prove that I’m right. So far as your punishment goes, I’m convinced you see the error of your ways now and once you have apologised to Joanna, you’ll be free to join the others again. A word of warning, though, don’t expect your form to be too welcoming, just at first. They feel you’ve let your form down and you’ve not proved yourself to be the kindest or nicest of girls. This bullying manner of yours must stop, Ruth! It does not endear you to your fellow pupils, nor to the staff. We don’t like bullying in this school but the time is fast approaching when you will amongst the oldest girls in the school and looked up to by the Juniors. If they see you bullying another girl, they will be quite likely to copy you and I’m sure you don’t want to be part of a school full of miserable girls. When you return to form, do your best to show us just what a decent, kind girl you really are and before passing judgement harshly on someone, remember there is always more than your own point of view. Now, I must go and I want you to have a sleep or you’ll make yourself ill and that will do no one any good.” She tucked Ruth in and bent and kissed her, assuring her of her forgiveness once more, before leaving. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:34pm Ruth duly reappeared in school and found herself having to apologise to Joanna in front of her form. The Head had insisted on this and Ruth felt she was very cruel to insist on it although Miss Annersley only had Ruth's best interests at heart. She knew that the girl would find it very difficult to be accepted amongst the rest once more unless they could really see that she was sorry for her actions, hence her insistence. She escorted Ruth to her form room, where Miss Ferrars was taking the register. "Hello! Come to join us again, Ruth?" Miss Ferrars smiled as the two appeared. "She has something to do before she does that." Miss Annersley said gravely. "Joanna, would you come out to the front please, my dear?" She took no notice of the aghast expression on Joanna's face, although Miss Ferrars was hard put not to laugh, and waited until Joanna, rivalling Ruth for blushes, had reached the front. "Ruth has something to say to you. Ruth?" "I-I'm sorry I was such a beast to you." Ruth apologised, beetroot with shame and embarrassment. "Th-thank you for being so decent though, I didn't deserve it." "Thank you." The Head said as Joanna, stuck to know what to say or do by reply, opened and closed her mouth silently. "I think Joanna accepts your apology?" She helped Joanna out. "Y-yes. Thank you." Joanna stuttered. "Good! Well then, I think you may join the rest again, Ruth and consider your punishment to be truly at an end. Girls!" She turned to the rest of her form. "Ruth has been forgiven and she has learnt her lesson, please show me that you have all learnt yours - accept her amongst you once again without hesitation. Please do not let me see any repeats of the bullying behaviour that grieved us all so much. That is all! Thank you, Miss Ferrars." She smiled at her mistress and then withdrew, hoping that all would be well with the form once more and it was. Upper IVa had had a few harsh lessons to learn recently and not one of them was willing to do anything that might damage the reputation of the form again. Those girls who had yet to start their periods, dealt with their onset, when it happened, in a mature manner, helped by the talk Daisy had given them and the experiences of their form mates. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 2:35pm And that's it! Thank you for the comments I've had, they were very encouraging. I hope you've liked the rest of it, although most of it stayed the same as the previous one since I was happy with it. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Lisa_T on Oct 12th, 2003, 4:02pm Fantastic, Catherine. Where did you find the time to revise it?! I love the extra bits you put in- especially the scene in the prees room with Kathie! |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 12th, 2003, 5:16pm The workload isn't major at the moment, so I'm taking full advantage! Glad you like it! Currently trying to write the book I started which is all about Emily's first term at the CS! |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Emma_N on Oct 12th, 2003, 7:59pm Thanks for sharing the new version of 'Growing Pains' with us Catherine. It is excellent and the changes you have made have made the story even better than it was the first time round. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Esmeralda on Oct 12th, 2003, 11:54pm Thank you Catharine, I liked the changes you made at the beginning, and I'd like to say how glad I am that Joanna does have a mother who cares about her. I also liked the extra information about her grandmother dying when she was with her - it makes her behaviour even more plausible. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 13th, 2003, 4:55pm Thank you! Do people want it go to Liss or shall I just leave it as being on here only? |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Carolyn P on Oct 13th, 2003, 6:02pm Send it to Liss, definatly. Well, that's my vote anyway. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Vikki on Oct 13th, 2003, 6:12pm I agree! Just in case the board goes psycho and starts eating threads again! |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Emma_N on Oct 13th, 2003, 6:53pm Yep - send it off to Liss before the Thread Monster eats it up. I've never fully recovered from what happened to the original 'Dr Venables' thread!! |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by Esmeralda on Oct 13th, 2003, 10:41pm Yes, send it to Liss, it'll probably reach a wider audience - when I found this site I didn't look at the CBB for ages, then when I did find it, I ignored the Drabbles until I got bored one night and discovered what I'd been missing. |
||
|
Title: Re: Growing Pains Revisited. Post by catherine on Oct 14th, 2003, 8:21pm Sounds the same as me! OK, I'll send it Liss although it could be some time before it becomes part of the fiction site! |
||
|
The Chaletian Bulletin Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.1! YaBB © 2000-2002, Xnull. All Rights Reserved. |