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        Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >>  Grizel's Story (SCS)
        
(Message started by: Rachael P on Oct 27^th, 2003, 2:50pm)

Title: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 27^th, 2003, 2:50pm

Hello - I'm always intrigued as to what goes on behind the closed doors of Miss Annersley's study and particularly so in Carola Storms when it's actually one of the mistresses (Grizel) who is summoned. We know that Grizel is lent the money that her stepmother won't allow her to have before she's 35 and is thus able to leave teaching and do something that gives her a little more pleasure in life. I'm also interested in Grizel anyway as she's quite realistically flawed for a CS girl. Not sure how this will turn out and whether I would follow her on her journey but here it is so far ... for what it's worth!

Grizel Cochrane frowned at the mirror as she dragged a brush carefully through the short golden curls springing riotously round her head. Her long locks cropped when she was Head Girl, she had grown accustomed to a look that was quite fashionable with the waves that sculpted her face softening her rather sharp features. As she brushed with firm, even strokes, the bristles caught her in her hair, tugging at her hand and she winced involuntarily at the pain of the raw skin, still recovering from minor burns. These injuries were a direct result of her encounter with fire a fortnight before, a conflagration that had begun entirely because of her own heedlessness and bitterness that her life had not turned out as she might have hoped. Pausing for a moment to reflect on the image before her, she tried to relax her puckered brow. Joey Maynard had forgiven her and Len herself, whose Chinese basket had ignited as soon as Grizel’s discarded match had landed, was improving in leaps and bounds after the initial shock. Even Carola Johnstone would soon be leaving the San, although her hands would be bandaged for a good many days yet and as Nurse had taken great pains to tell her, it was the girl’s own silly fault for attempting to beat out the flames without any form of protection.

Grizel did not think that she would lose her job, after all, it had been an accident, but she was under no illusions that the Head would be sympathetic. The forthcoming interview would be difficult but she would get nowhere by brooding on what might have been. Luckily, Grizel had never been an imaginative person, so she had been spared the nightmares that Joey Maynard herself had endured as her subconscious fought against pictures of her first born consumed by flames. Although not for the world would Joey have admitted this to Grizel who was her earliest friend. She knew only too well that Grizel blamed herself for the entire sorry episode and she saw no reason in adding further to her friend’s guilty burden. Sufficient for Grizel to think the shadows under Joey’s eyes were caused by concern for Len’s welfare alone. She would have been horrified to think of the agonies Joey was suffering in her dreams and Jo herself was stringent in her strictures that no one was to tell Grizel otherwise. Thus, oblivious to the full extent of Joey’s pain, Grizel straightened the collar of her blouse, raised her small, pretty chin determinedly and left her quarters to knock firmly on the door of Miss Annersley’s study at the appointed hour.

That august lady, meanwhile had been standing at her window gazing out towards the sea. It was a bright, clear morning with a cool wind breezing up from the shore, dispelling much of the mugginess that had been in the atmosphere for the past few weeks. Holding herself tall and straight, Hilda Annersley pondered on the enigma that was Grizel Cochrane and hoped that the change in weather would bring about a similar change or renaissance in the music teacher. Grizel, like Joey, was one of the earliest pupils of the Chalet School. At fourteen, she had been somewhat of a firebrand, distinguishing herself in the first term by running away to climb the mighty Tiernjoch and putting both herself and Joey Bettany, as she was then, in the gravest danger. The years at the school had helped to soften her jagged corners and in her last term she had become a very competent Head Girl. On leaving the school proper, she had studied at a Music Conservatory before joining Juliet Carrick up at the Sonnalpe to run the Annexe. This was the offshoot of the main Chalet School, specifically designed for the needs of the more fragile girls who needed to be under the observation of the doctors who worked at the Sanatorium. When the school had been forced to flee Austria as the Nazis marched in, Grizel had returned with them as the school and great Sanatorium both re-grouped, first in Guernsey, then to Plas Howell in Armishire and finally to the small island of St Briavel’s off the Welsh coast. In recent years though, the powers-that-be felt that Grizel had become increasingly discontent with her lot in life and although she was an excellent teacher, Miss Annersley feared that this was more because of the girls’ dread of Miss Cochrane’s barbed tongue than her instructional abilities.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 27^th, 2003, 2:51pm

Lady Russell, founder of the school, had been horrified when she had heard of Grizel’s latest exploit, the more so because her own small daughter, Josette, who was only a year or so older than the Triplets, had suffered a bad scalding as a very small child. This had caused deep-rooted concern for her health for years and as Josette’s accident had been caused by the wilful disobedience of Madge’s eldest daughter, Sybil, it was a subject close to her heart. Madge was well aware that her own parenting had been partly to blame and it was only now after almost a year in Canada, that Madge could look at her robust daughter who had bloomed in the crisp, dry Canadian air without a flutter of apprehension.

The transatlantic phone call had been brief but Hilda had been able to discuss the salient facts and the two women were agreed they must do their utmost to help her now.
“I trust your judgement implicitly” Madge had wound up. “It seems that Grizel is at a crossroads in her life and we’re the only real family she has ever known. Try to reach out to her and find out what the problem is, would you Hilda? I would hate to think that all the years’ training we gave her are being undone now. Grizel has never known the happiness of you or I and I fear that her character is in danger of becoming warped.”
“I agree” replied Hilda. “I only hope that I can make the difference” she said fervently.
“If you can’t then no one can,” Madge’s voice was firm. “Not even Joey, bless her, and goodness knows she’s the expert at getting under people’s skin!”
Hilda laughed before resuming her serious tone.
“You know Madge, Joey has behaved like a trooper through all of this. She was desperately worried about Len and of course, she hasn’t seen Margot for months. I was worried that she might flay Grizel alive but she’s been completely understanding and done everything she can to relieve her of the guilt.”
“I don’t doubt it for a moment” mused Madge. “Joey has had some insight into what it’s like to worry for your child’s health. She would fight tooth and nail to protect her bairns but she’s also got the sense to see that accidents are accidents and that there’s no point dwelling on what’s done if someone is genuinely sorry.”
Prudently Hilda neglected to mention the sleepless nights that Joey had confided to her on her last visit. Jack was currently seeing to this with a night-time nostrum that seemed to be doing the trick and she saw no reason to alert that young lady’s sister to the fact that things were not quite back to normal in the Maynard household.
“That’s true” she acquiesced.
“And will you speak to Grizel?”
“I’ll do my best” Hilda promised and there the conversation had ended.

She turned now as she heard the rap on the door.
“Enter” she called out in the clear, beautiful voice which was admired by all that knew her.
Grizel slipped quietly into the room and walked quickly to the desk, trepidation in her eyes although she was doing her best to conceal her apprehension. Miss Annersley had joined the ranks of the school’s mistresses when Grizel was already Games Prefect so she had never experienced at first-hand the Head’s castigation of sinners although she had heard plenty about it, not least from Joey herself! Now she felt transported back to her own schooldays, no older than the naughty Middle who had been chastised by both Lady Russell and Mademoiselle LePattre in their time. Miss Annersely knew all about it, of course, and smiled reassuringly at her former pupil and colleague.
“Come and sit down with me over here in these armchairs, Grizel” she began, patting the cushions invitingly. “I haven’t asked you here to punish you, as I’m sure you’ve been giving yourself a hard enough time, but I do think we need to talk.”
Grizel relaxed a little as she took her seat and watched as the Head rang for tea. The two women made small talk until the maid appeared and set down the tray. Miss Annersley saw to it that Grizel was provided with both tea and cakes and then settled back in her own chair, ready to open the discussion.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Annie on Oct 27^th, 2003, 2:55pm

That's really good! And very EBD style too- very real I mean

ooooooooooooooooooooooooh. I've just realised that this is my 100th thread. :) ;D (now you all think I'm really mad seeing as I get excited at having posted 100 times) ::)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Marianne on Oct 27^th, 2003, 3:36pm

Perfectly natural although we are all self confessed mad people here!!!

Fantastic story about Grizel, she is a truly interesting character, would love to see more!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Sarah_L on Oct 27^th, 2003, 3:42pm

I haven't read the books in this part of the series, so it's really good to read this as it fills in some of gaps in my CS knowledge.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 27^th, 2003, 4:33pm

Congrats on your 100th posting, Annie - may you have many more of them ... perhaps on Alternative Rivals? (subtle hint ;))

“What happened Grizel?” she enquired gently.
Grizel flushed uncomfortably. She knew that the Head was fully aware of the circumstances of the fire and that the real question was what had led her to act so thoughtlessly. Miss Annersley, wise in her generation, was giving her a choice. If Grizel chose to unburden her soul in private, then she could rest assured that their discussion would go no further. Miss Annersley was the very soul of discretion and Grizel recognised that in her employer she would find a sympathetic and non-judgemental ear. If, however she chose to say nothing, then the Head would accept her reserve, albeit reluctantly.

Grizel sat motionless for a few minutes staring at the rug as she fought with her demons. The last few years had deepened her general dissatisfaction into a vengeful bitterness that even she herself had become increasingly uneasy about. Naturally acerbic, Grizel had caught herself giving vent to tongue lashings that, on balance, exceeded what was appropriate between a mistress and pupil. Valiantly, she had tried to keep herself in check but to no avail. The seething resentment that simmered constantly in her mind was never far from the surface and Grizel had never learnt to fully control her hair-trigger temper. The slightest error in fingering, an off-key arpeggio or a miss-struck chord all jarred her sensitive nerves and on some days it had been all she could do not to scream. She was certainly not proud of her behaviour and she hesitated to allow the Head, whom she respected greatly, to see all that she had become. But if she didn’t? Grizel was wise enough to know that the Head was trying to help her and what was it that Joey always used to say? “A problem shared is a problem halved.” Perhaps it would feel better to talk it all through with someone, especially with someone who was as perceptive and considerate as Hilda Annersley. Grizel continued to wrestle with her emotions, her logical temperament forcing her to weigh up the pros and cons of both options. What would she choose?

Sensing the inner turmoil of her guest, Miss Annersley had shrewdly helped herself to more tea and prayed that Grizel would find the strength to not only confront her innermost ambitions and resentments but also to confide in her Head. Eventually, Grizel stirred and put down her teacup with decision.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Liss the Fluffy Bunny on Oct 27^th, 2003, 5:08pm

Seriously good stuff, as usual, Rachael! Looking forward to more, as Grizel has always interested me as well.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lisa_T on Oct 27^th, 2003, 7:31pm

*splutters indignantly* (again)
Rachael! How dare you! You give all of us a ticking off on Chalet Horror and then you go and do this!

*off to string Rachael up beside Lesley and ask Vikki for more chickens*

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 27^th, 2003, 7:47pm

This is really good. I'm glad someone is treating Grizel with sympathy and understanding. Do let us have more please.

It is interesting how we all treat Miss Annersley in such awe. I don't think she has ever become evil has she? Notice how we never want closed doors scenes either, no keeping of confidences here! Is this because we want to be like that, or because we want to know someone like that?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lesley on Oct 27^th, 2003, 8:00pm

Wonderful Rachael - more please! ;D

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lisa_T on Oct 27^th, 2003, 8:06pm

on 10/27/03 at 19:47:46, Carolyn P wrote:

It is interesting how we all treat Miss Annersley in such awe. I don't think she has ever become evil has she? Notice how we never want closed doors scenes either, no keeping of confidences here! Is this because we want to be like that, or because we want to know someone like that?

It is funny,isn't it? We've done nasty things TO her- Real CS, Tara, and Venables all bear witness to that- but we've never made her nasty or horrible or evil. Come to that, we've never really done it to Nell Wilson either (apart from when she changed sex on one thread). In answer to your last question Carolyn- a bit of both?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 27^th, 2003, 10:02pm

*echoes cries for more and soon, as it's wonderful*! ;D

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Esmeralda on Oct 27^th, 2003, 11:54pm

Please may I add to the pleas for more - I've always found Grizel to be one of the more interesting characters too and I would love to see a little bit more of what happened after she stopped teaching.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Vikki on Oct 28^th, 2003, 1:39am

I'd like more too please! :)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 28^th, 2003, 4:31am

Rachael, where are you? It's been 12 whole hours since you posted the last part!!!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Vikki on Oct 28^th, 2003, 4:34am

Erm, KB, I think she might be asleep......

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 28^th, 2003, 4:59am

Probably. But I can still ask, can't I?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 28^th, 2003, 11:46am

Humblest apologies, for sleeping during "normal" sleeping hours! For the record, I am slightly concerned by the fact that I didn't get accosted by a plot bunny until shortly after divulging the name of my village on the CBB - do those blasted animals have spies?

“I don’t know where to start, Miss Annersley, I really don’t,” Grizel sighed. “Perhaps I should tell you everything from the beginning.
The Head said nothing but nodded imperceptibly.
You know how I’ve never got on with my stepmother and how Joey and Madame have been more of a family to me than my real family? I suppose it all started when my mother died. I can barely remember her, I was only five you know, but they were very happy years … I suppose what you might call an idyllic childhood … and it felt as though my world had caved in when we lost her. Father was desperately upset and he crumbled. He felt that he wouldn’t be able to cope with me even though I was all he had left. He sent me to live with Grannie for the next five years and whilst I loved her and I know she spoilt me in her own way, it wasn’t the same as having my parents, especially when I knew that Father was alive. It’s difficult to know for sure, because it’s been such a long time, but I rather think I felt rejected. Just when I needed him most, he abandoned me and I really only saw him at birthdays and Christmases for those years and it wasn’t enough, not by a long chalk.”

Grizel raised her eyes to look at the Head whose blue-grey eyes were soft with compassion.
“I can understand that, Grizel” said Miss Annersely gently. “I lost my own mother when I was fourteen. She had been ill with influenza for some weeks but I had thought she was recovering and no one told me she was dying, not until my brother came to take me home from school early. I was devastated and very bitter that I was given no opportunity to say goodbye but in many ways I was lucky. I still had my father and my brothers.”
The words were simple but Grizel felt strengthened by the Head’s empathy and willingness to share her own experience.
“So, as I said, I was very spoilt at Grannie’s and very much her pet and of course I loved being the centre of attention.” Here, Grizel broke off to give a sardonic smile but the Head did not react.
“Then, when I was ten, Father married again and decided that he wanted me at home so that we could become a family again. And do you know, he hadn’t even told my stepmother about me! I saw the look of horror on her face when she saw me standing in the doorway. She didn’t even try to disguise it and I knew immediately that we would never get on. Just as I thought I had found Father again, and was excited at the prospect of living with him, she arrived and things were never the same again.”
The Head recoiled a little from the loathing in Grizel’s voice but made no outward movement.
“I was only ten years old and it felt like she had stolen him from me. She was constantly putting me down and criticising me and trying to tell me what to do … what to wear … when to practise my piano and for how long … when I could see Father …” Grizel’s voice broke as she recalled her jubilation at her father bringing her home and the piercing disappointment on discovering that home included his new wife and with her, all her rules and theories on parenting.

Silence enveloped the study as Grizel struggled to pull herself together. Miss Annersley said nothing but her very presence was comforting. For a moment Grizel wondered whether this was how it felt at confessional. She was beginning to feel more at peace with herself than she had in years. The barriers that she had built round herself were fading and it was almost a relief to speak so freely. She blew her nose on her handkerchief and watched as the Head replenished her teacup before continuing.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 28^th, 2003, 11:47am

“I accept that I was undisciplined for the years I lived with Grannie,” Grizel was trying to be as honest as possible. “She pretty much let me do as I liked so yes, I became extremely wilful and high-spirited but she looked after me when no one else seemed to care and it hurt when that woman disapproved of her. At least Grannie loved me!” Grizel had indeed loved her grandmother dearly and the cutting remarks about her upbringing had rubbed salt into already open wounds.
“It was so difficult, Miss Annersley. One minute I was the petted apple of Grannie’s eye and the next I couldn’t do anything right and, at first at least, it wasn’t for want of trying. My days became so regimented with piano practice and manners and remembering not to whistle and to jump to attention whenever she spoke to me. I know that it’s important for children to be obedient but it seemed as though I went from one extreme to the other in a matter of days. And the incessant nag, nag, nagging was so difficult to accept.”

Miss Annersley kept quiet but inwardly she wished that she could spend a few minutes alone with Grizel’s stepmother. Had the woman not understood that all the child had wanted was a sense of security and a happy home? But Grizel was speaking again.
“I admit that I became sulky and heaven knows, I can bear a grudge, but she wore me down. It just became easier to do as she said, when she said it, to avoid another row. And she was clever with it. She was always as pleasant as could be whenever we were out in the town and very courteous to the Rector and the parents of my friends. I remember seeing Rosalie and Mary Burnett the day before I left. I made some comment about being pleased to get away from her and they were quite shocked. They had no idea what it was like for me at home. When Madame came to ask whether they would send me to her school I could have wept with joy. She had always been so kind to me and Joey, of course, was a dear. Stepmother jumped at the idea. I think she had wanted to pack me off to boarding school long before but father would have stopped the idea for fear of what the gossips might say.” Again, the sardonic smile.
Miss Annersly noted it. She hoped that the telling of this tale would prove cathartic for Grizel and perhaps wash away some of the years of hurt or at least help her to come to terms with her past.

“ So off I went and spent the next few years at the Tyrol and I can safely say that they were the happiest four years of my life. I made some wonderful friends in Gertrude, Wanda and Bette and even Deira, once we got past our misunderstanding. The Chalet School gave me a marvellous education and I got to travel, but most importantly I learnt to live with other people and to be accepted for what I was. That was something which had been missing for the previous few years. And I know I was something of a firebrand but I like to think that I gave something back to the school. I was Games Prefect before becoming Head Girl and in those years I tried hard to put my selfish ways behind me and to be a credit to Madame and Mademoiselle. ”
Grizel looked appealingly at the Head for confirmation.
“Grizel, there has never been any doubt about that,” and Miss Annersley smiled reassuringly and was rewarded with a grateful glance in response.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 28^th, 2003, 11:57am

Excellent work, Rachael! I can almost feel the empathy from here! Do we also get to see Grizel once she gets to New Zealand?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 28^th, 2003, 11:58am

Lost for words when it comes to commenting on this.

You are really walking in Grizel's shoes.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Esmeralda on Oct 28^th, 2003, 12:00pm

This is so good Rachael - it could be Grizel herself writing.

More soon please

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Vikki on Oct 28^th, 2003, 1:10pm

Rachael, this is wonderful!! I just want to give Grizel a hug and try to make her feel better!! And she's never really been one of my favourite characters!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by NickiL on Oct 28^th, 2003, 1:30pm

This is great Rachael.

I've always really liked Grizel and thought she was very unfairly treated. Would love to see her be happy for once (*hint*!)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 28^th, 2003, 2:54pm

Thanks for the flowers everyone! KB, I would love to see Grizel and Deira's story in NZ but I might struggle with creativity on that one. EBD left loads of snippets to put this together but she's a bit sketchy beyond the bare facts of what went on in NZ and we're talking a fair few years!! Oh, well, I'll try to get this done and see what happens ...
*starting to understand why EBD kept things behind closed doors!*

“And then my world collapsed for the second time. I had set my heart on becoming a Games mistress, as you know, but Father wouldn't hear of it. Having paid for expensive piano lessons he expected some return on his investment. He had arranged for me to go to Florence to attend the Music Conservatory there and he refused to enter into any discussion. I’ve never told anyone but I begged him, Miss Annersley, I really did. I must have written a dozen letters pleading with him to change his mind but he was implacable. It didn’t matter to him that I had no real love of music …”
Grizel caught the questioning look from her Head.
“Oh, I like it all right and I know I’m good but who wouldn’t be after years of rigorous practice? But with me it’s solely a technical exercise. Without being conceited, I’m a brilliant instrumentalist but that’s not what brings a piece of music to life. You remember, Margia Stevens? Of course you do. Well, she can make a piano sing because she puts her heart and soul into her performances. I don’t have that ability and to be honest it’s not a skill you can learn. Margia’s talent is much purer than mine and it transcends the mechanical – she taps into her innermost core to interpret the score and brings something of her own emotions to a recital. Whilst I understand what she does, and can appreciate her expertise, I’ve never yet found it within myself. Herr Anserl understood that.”

Miss Annersley smiled as she recalled the gruff old Music Master of the Tyrol.
“What did he say about you being accepted to the Conservatory?” she asked curiously.
“I think he was rather surprised!” laughed Grizel for the first time since entering the study and her face relaxed, revealing her pretty countenance. “Oh, he was encouraging and extremely proud that one of his pupils had gained a place at such a prestigious establishment but deep down I rather think he felt it was the wrong thing, for both myself and the Conservatory. He knew that I didn’t share the same love for music as Margia, or even himself, and he always used to complain about the gulf between those who could appreciate music and those who could play it.”
Grizel paused to reflect on her lessons with Herr Anserl. An enormous giant of a man, his pupils had held him in some awe. He could be rather fierce when he chose and woe betide any girl who turned up at one of his classes unprepared but, as Joey herself had been wont to declare, his bark was always worse than his bite. Grizel had fought many a battle royal with him and on occasion he had reduced her to tears but she had grown fond of the old man and years later she now appreciated his insight.

“What was life like at the Conservatory?” prompted Miss Annersley.
“Oh, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I arrived with the lowest of expectations so I was pleasantly surprised. My fears that I would be exposed as a fraud proved unfounded. There were a number of us in the same boat and the classes soon split into those who would be making a name for themselves one day and the rest who were very second-best, most of whom also became teachers. And if I hadn’t gone I would never have met Gerry Challoner and she’s the only friend I’ve had outside the Chalet School.”
“I remember her … a very sensible girl who you brought to visit the School. Didn’t she play the cello? I seem to remember that she helped out when there was that feud between ourselves and St. Scholastika’s, the voice of reason in a sea of chaos.”
“That’s right. I only wish we’d kept in contact as she helped keep me grounded in Florence and we had some laughs. I wonder what she’s doing now? We rather lost contact after the war. Anyway, it soon became clear that teaching must become my career.”
The Head glanced at her sharply, detecting the resentment in Grizel’s tone intensify.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Vikki on Oct 28^th, 2003, 4:00pm

Please carry on Rachael!! I have to know what happens next!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 28^th, 2003, 4:47pm

OK Vikki, just for you, seeing as you asked so nicely and knowing how excitable you get if left "hanging" around for too long!
*with a nod and a ;) to Lesley*

“What do you mean, Grizel? Did you hate the prospect of teaching? Weren’t there alternatives?”
“I felt trapped, Miss Annersley, if you must know. Father had ensured that my further education was in music and I wasn’t financially independent so I had no option but to do as he bade me. Once I’d completed my time in Florence I had to take stock and there weren’t many options. The last thing I wanted to do was to return home. Those musicians who were good enough were being approached by orchestras, concert halls and the like. There were some openings for work on the administration side but that never appealed to me. To be honest, I was at my wits’ end as to what to do next when Madame offered me a position at the Annexe. I’m eternally grateful to her for that opportunity. I think it gave me some feeling of autonomy and I began to believe that even if I couldn’t follow my real dream, at least I was teaching and teaching at my old school where I had been happy.”

“But it wasn’t enough, was it?” Miss Annersley’s question was astute.
Grizel heaved another deep sigh. “No, it wasn’t. I had hoped it would be when I accepted the offer but you see, it’s one thing to teach a subject that you’re passionate about but another matter altogether to teach a subject in which you have no interest.” She paused. “No, that’s too strong, I suppose the word I’m searching for is ambivalence. Do you understand what I’m getting at?”
“I think so, Grizel,” and not for the first time, the Head offered up a prayer of gratitude for the way in which she herself had embarked on a career in teaching. Inspired and pushed by her own English teacher she had made a very natural progression from studying English at a higher level to entering the teaching profession. For her it was a vocation and she loved her subjects with a passion that she was keen to convey to her pupils. From all that Grizel was saying, she discerned that this route was far removed from Grizel’s own path.
“I was quite envious of Juliet when we opened the Annexe. She had a very natural way with kids and they automatically turned to her when they were in trouble which they would never do for me. I suppose it’s a knack that some people have, that getting under people’s skin and seeing things from their point of view. Joey and Madame have got it, of course, and so have you and Miss Wilson and Biddy and …” Grizel trailed off.

“I think” interjected Miss Annersley carefully, “That you do yourself an injustice. The gift of understanding your fellow man is a wonderful thing but it can also bring pain to those who are quick to identify with others. You know yourself how Joey suffers with the highs and lows of life. She experiences great joy but this must ultimately be balanced by intense sorrow and she is constantly experiencing the two. Her character is highly imaginative but very sensitive and she is often plagued by what has happened and what might have been. You are quite unimaginative, Grizel, and please, I don’t mean to be insulting. You have common sense and an ability to live in the immediate present which is often invaluable when dealing with practical and urgent matters. Never underestimate your own strengths when comparing yourself to others.”
Grizel pondered the Head’s words and had to admit the veracity of them.
“But for a teacher it helps to understand your pupils” she managed finally.
“Certainly, “ replied Miss Annersley, “ But nothing is as important as having their best interests at heart. Grizel, I know that you’re not the most instinctive teacher we’ve ever had but you do try your best and the girls that learn music under you do well. As headmistress, I can ask for little more.”

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Catherine_B on Oct 28^th, 2003, 8:04pm

Rachael P, thank you for starting this story. I've always felt Grizel got a raw deal, and you're showing it just perfectly - not making her a nicer person than she is, but portraying her sympathetically so we can appreciate just why she's turned out as she has. Great job :)

Carolyn P, maybe we all just want a chance to get behind Miss Annersley's closed doors & be absolved of our misdeeds. Confession, therapy, whatever - the Abbess would be the perfect listener, with her perpetually impassive expression that nonetheless manages to reveal great sympathy and understanding!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 28^th, 2003, 9:00pm

Rachael, this is truly beautiful! You're giving Grizel an excellent dimension that I never really got from EBD and making her a much more sympathetic character. Great job!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 28^th, 2003, 11:50pm

on 10/28/03 at 20:04:00, Catherine_B wrote:

Carolyn P, maybe we all just want a chance to get behind Miss Annersley's closed doors & be absolved of our misdeeds. Confession, therapy, whatever - the Abbess would be the perfect listener, with her perpetually impassive expression that nonetheless manages to reveal great sympathy and understanding!

A very cathartic experience in the end, and possibly life changing.EBD certainly wrote it like that, but imagine if you confessed to the wrong person. A scene like Joey and Nancy in 'Alternative Romance' springs to mind. I think trust must play a huge part in what is essentialy making yourself very vulnerable to another person.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 29^th, 2003, 12:03am

That's a risk we all have to take in life, sooner or later.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 29^th, 2003, 12:22am

Quote:

KB - That's a risk we all have to take in life, sooner or later.

I know, I've done it, and reasonable recently. Very painful, very difficult, and very worthwhile.

There is the obvious sharing of lives and vulnerability that comes with a deep friendship or good marriage relationship, but sometimes that risk needs to be taken in other ways.
Asking for help with something can be the same, as can owning to a problem.

By the way, story wonderful, more please.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 29^th, 2003, 11:30am

Interestingly, I wrote this before reading your comments so I hope it follows OK and that Hilda is going down the right track - apologies if it sinks into too much "pop psychology"

Grizel shook her head in denial.
“You’re being too kind, Miss Annersley. I have to admit that I’m often a scold and some of the girls do their best for me simply because they’re too terrified of my sharp tongue to do anything else. No, I’ve fallen far short of the standards expected of a Chalet School mistress and I’m frequently ashamed of my actions.”
The grey eyes met the blue-grey eyes before Grizel was compelled to drop her lashes in discomfort.
“Granted”, replied the Head who knew all about it, “But if you can acknowledge your shortcomings then you’re well on the way to overcoming them.”
“I only wish that was so, Miss Annersley, but I’ve tried to curb my tongue on many occasions and I just don’t seem able to stop myself.”
“Why not?”
Grizel looked blank.
“Why do you find it so difficult to stop yourself?” the Head repeated.
Grizel knitted her shapely brows together as she considered the problem. It had always been sufficient to know that she could be a harridan on her day and she had never thought to dig any deeper.
“I … I don’t know …” she faltered.

Miss Annersley contemplated the woman before her, debating how best to proceed. There was any amount of good in Grizel but much of it was buried beneath the air of rancour with which she shielded herself from the outside world. Intuitively, she felt that Grizel needed to confront her past in order to understand herself but she did not want to push the trust and confidence that she had already built up. More crucially, she wanted Grizel to recognise that whilst her past had played a central role in determining her character, it was Grizel herself who held the key to changing her personality going forward.
“Grizel, I have no intention of making excuses for you, “she began, “But I believe that much of your current outlook is indicative of the events that made up your childhood. It can’t have been easy undergoing so many changes or being moved from pillar to post when you were a little girl and I wonder how many of those experiences you have internalised without realising it.”
Grizel turned a puzzled face to the Head.
“Think about it, my dear. You’ve told me that you had five years of idyllic childhood with both parents, followed by five years in which you were loved, but spoilt and untrained by your grandmother and then a further five years in which you were quite unhappy in very regimented atmosphere. You also told me that your stepmother used to nag and demand immediate obedience. Tell me, Grizel, when do you think you learned how to scold?”

Light glimmered in the grey eyes but swiftly turned to alarm.
“You mean I’m like my stepmother?” Grizel’s voice was dismayed.
“Nonsense!” The Head was quick to respond. “What I mean is that in times of emotion, if perhaps you’re stressed or cross, then you revert to behaviour which was familiar when you were a child. Our formative years are fundamental in shaping our characters. As we become adults we have to react to situations outside our own realm of experience and it is only natural to draw on the example set by others.”
“I see.” Grizel mulled over the words. “So, you think that sometimes I respond in the same way that I would expect my stepmother to behave, simply because that was what I was used to for so long?”
“Exactly.”
“That makes sense, Miss Annersley, but then how do I change?”
“You’ll have to answer that one for yourself,” was the rather dry reply.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 29^th, 2003, 11:37am

I enjoyed that part but I would like to put in a plea - don't allow Grizel to use her past as an excuse for her behaviour. I know there's a difference between it affecting a person in that way and what I'm saying, but I am really sick of hearing people, and particularly those who are on trial for crimes, blaming it all on their sad and broken childhoods and getting off! *sorry, I think we just struck a raw nerve and pet hate. Apologies all round*

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Liss the Fluffy Bunny on Oct 29^th, 2003, 11:46am

This is beautiful, Rachael! I'm one of those people who always gets cross at EBD's portrayal of Grizel, and it's nice to see a greater level of understanding for her. I always felt that Reunion was such a cop-out in finishing off with Grizel - oh, let her marry a doctor and everything will be all right. It would be lovely to see how her personality changed (if it did) from when she was teaching at the school to when she arrived in Switzerland.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by NickiL on Oct 29^th, 2003, 12:18pm

I agree Liss! Grizel gets such a raw deal! There's a bit in one of the books - I think it's Camp? - where she upsets Joey for calling her 'child' and everyone thinks it's unreasonable of her, but a few lines before Joey called Grizel 'child' and no one batted an eyelid!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 29^th, 2003, 12:56pm

KB, I know what you mean and I'm trying to avoid it! Perhaps this will help ...

Silence descended on the study again. Unaccustomed to self- appraisal, Grizel was struggling to come to terms with all that had been discussed. It would have been unfair to describe her as shallow but there was still enough of the cosseted child in Grizel Cochrane to hinder her when it came to a candid assessment of her own limitations. In truth, she had no idea what steps to take to alter the habits of a lifetime. Thinking furiously, she suddenly remembered the letter she had received from her Grandmother so many years before, the same letter that Deira O’Hagan had consigned to flames. The contents had been of no great significance but they had included much tender, loving counsel that Grizel had learned and cherished, though rarely heeded, in the intervening years. Grannie had intimated a number of things in her epistle and although she had chosen her words cautiously, their gist was plain. Perhaps Grizel needed to put herself in others’ shoes and to think before she spoke. Perhaps Grizel’s ways were becoming selfish and she should try to become more considerate. Perhaps Grizel was not fond of taking advice and she should try harder to really listen to those with more wisdom. Most importantly, Grannie had explained to Grizel that life was full of choices and that sometimes the choices we make change the course of our lives.
“You see, dearie,” she had written, “It can be very tempting to take the easy path when in your heart of hearts you know you need to choose the difficult road. Don’t make that mistake, my love. Anything that’s worth anything tends to be challenging, you mark my words.”
“How right she was,” reflected Grizel, “And I never even realised it until now.”

Feeling a chill in the air from the breeze coming off the sea, Miss Annersley had risen to close the big windows and drew her cardigan closer. Gathering the tea things on to the tray she rang the bell and waited until the maid had come and disappeared back towards the kitchens.
“I think I understand, Miss Annersley.” Grizel was sitting upright in her armchair and the Head crossed the room to resume her own seat. “I have a choice don’t I? Every time I’m feeling impatient or irritable, I need to make a conscious decision to stop and think about what I say next. I can fall into the trap of acting impulsively and reverting to type or I can take a few seconds to respond more suitably, or at least in proportion to the situation.”
“You’ve hit the nail on the head.” The smile was warm.
“Easier said than done though!” Grizel returned the smile and Miss Annersley was pleased to note that this time, the self-mocking air had gone.
“I never said it would be straightforward, Grizel, and I would be failing in my duty if I neglected to tell you that at times your behaviour has been nothing short of disgraceful for a mistress and that you still have a rather disagreeable tendency to massage your own ego. However, I’m also quite convinced that you’ve got the backbone to change and to become the pleasant woman we know you are, as well as a credit to yourself.”

At the beginning of this speech, Grizel’s attractive mouth had tightened and her eyes grown steely. A quick retort was on her lips but as she heard the Head’s final words, she had the grace to blush. She realised that the Head was testing her and this was but the first of a series of challenges that she would face on a daily basis.
“You’re right, Miss Annersley. I’ve been dreadfully selfish and quite frankly, there must have been times when you wondered why you put up with me. You’ve helped me to see things straighter but I don’t want to blame my faults on my stepmother and I certainly don’t want to see history repeating itself. I just hope that I can make enough of a change to justify your faith in me.”
“I have no concerns on that front and I’m pleased to see you taking responsibility for your own actions. You've started as you mean to go on and I can promise you one thing. It will get easier. Every time you are able to act with prudence, you make it that much easier for yourself the next time. Don’t get disheartened if you slip up in the early days but remember, whilst it’s acceptable to lose a few battles, Grizel, it’s imperative that you win the war.”
“I understand that, Miss Annersley,” the younger woman looked shy, “And thank you.”

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Richenda on Oct 29^th, 2003, 1:23pm

This is fantastic Carolyn - so sympathetic, yet challenging to Grizel

More please!!

*Debating on whether I should give this to fiance who can be distinctly Grizelesque to point out error of his ways. Concluding that he probably just wouldn't get it*

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 29^th, 2003, 4:29pm

on 10/29/03 at 13:23:48, Richenda wrote:

This is fantastic Carolyn

Surely you mean Rachel P.

I wish I could write like this. I really feel that she has got under Grizel's skin and developed an understanding of the character.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 29^th, 2003, 5:04pm

Who's she?? The cat's mother?! ;D

Richenda - I think you may have muddled up the two Ps! But not to worry, I'm very happy to be confused with Carolyn :D

And Carolyn - I LOVE your drabble and here's a nice big request that you toddle back to it and fill in some more details about Hilda's blessed letters. That last posting was nothing less than cruelty to dumb CBBers!
PLEASE?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 29^th, 2003, 5:27pm

Rachel , we could start a mutual admiration society at this rate.

Will add more later, although whether or not it will include any more of the letters...

I think the staff meeting may come first.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lesley on Oct 29^th, 2003, 6:32pm

Rachael - this is wonderful - don't you dare suggest that you cannot write again! Really love Grizel - always felt she had a very raw deal from EBD! Many thanks also for portrayal of Hilda - exactly as expected!

Lots more please!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 29^th, 2003, 8:57pm

on 10/29/03 at 12:56:24, Rachael P wrote:

KB, I know what you mean and I'm trying to avoid it! Perhaps this will help ...

Oh, I'm so glad you weren't offended! I was really worried you would be! And thank you for the power of that last part. It was excellent and I would like more too, if you had plans to write it.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lisa_T on Oct 30^th, 2003, 12:06am

She needs to anyway. She hasnt gotten to the bit where the Head offers to fund that music bookshop or whatever it was! Come on, Rachael! Get back here and finish!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Esmeralda on Oct 30^th, 2003, 12:16am

Please do continue Rachael, I feel that I know Grizel much better since reading this story - EBD was so biased against her for much of the time that we never really saw the whole person.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 30^th, 2003, 12:38am

on 10/30/03 at 00:06:01, Lisa_T wrote:

She needs to anyway. She hasnt gotten to the bit where the Head offers to fund that music bookshop or whatever it was! Come on, Rachael! Get back here and finish!

Oh, I'd forgotten about that bit. Goody, goody, goody!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 30^th, 2003, 10:55am

Thanks for the encouraging comments, everyone!
KB - I knew your were being constructuive and who am I to argue with the person who is second only to EBD_Herself in the number of CS books written stakes ;)
Lisa T is on the ball so here we go ...

“My pleasure, Grizel. Now, let me see, you’ve been teaching with us for over ten years but you’re still only in your early thirties, am I right?”
Grizel acquiesced.
“Then surely I’m also right in thinking that it’s not too late for you to embark on another career? That is, if you wanted to!” The Head laughed. “I’m certainly not suggesting that we want you to leave but it may be that you can find fulfilment in another field.”
Grizel’s face clouded over.
“That’s part of the problem. I did have a plan and I was quite hopeful that it would work out but it seems that I was wrong.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t want to bore you with my problems, Miss Annersley, I’m sure you’ve got enough on your plate and I’ve taken up plenty of your time as it is.”
The Head afforded herself an inward grin. The self-centred music mistress was doing her best to act on their discussion.
“I applaud your sentiments, Grizel, but it may be something with which I can help and if nothing else, I have a sympathetic ear. I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t genuinely interested.”

Thus reassured, Grizel resumed her story.
“After I left the School I kept in contact with Deira O’Hagan. We became quite good pals after that incident when she almost brained me. I suppose that’s because we’re quite similar in temperament, we’re both very strong-headed, although until the accident we used to spar together and argue about everything.”
Grizel self-consciously felt the small white scar across her temple, legacy of the sharp stone that Deira had hurled at her in blind rage during a snowball fight. It had been a nasty knock. Grizel lost consciousness and was confined to bed for a few days with an outsize in headaches. Deira was overcome with remorse and extremely grateful for Grizel’s swift forgiveness. Having resolved their differences they had cemented a warm friendship which endured the long distance between them.
“Deira got married after the war and emigrated to New Zealand. From her letters it sounded wonderful, all vast open spaces and beautiful scenery, and they were able to make a success of their lives. But the past year or so hasn’t been plain sailing for her. Her baby daughter, Moira, was born a cripple and then her husband died a few months ago.”
The Head’s eyes shone with sympathy
“Poor Deira!”
“Yes, and the worst of it is they had very few savings, certainly not enough to provide her with an income. That’s when Deira wrote to me. She’d been considering what to do about a job when some premises became vacant. She’d always rather fancied running a bookstore cum music shop and when she put together a tentative business plan, it was accepted by her bank. All she needed was a partner because she could only raise half the capital herself. She couldn’t find anyone suitable locally and knowing my background in music and that I wasn’t … er … entirely happy … teaching, she asked whether I’d interested in joining her.”
Grizel’s cheeks reddened as she divulged the fact that she had shared her discontent with another. “Not entirely happy” was somewhat of a euphemism had the Head been privy to Grizel’s own letters but Miss Annersley, guessing at the cause of Grizel’s stumbling, was merciful and chose to ignore her indiscretion.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Jennie on Oct 30^th, 2003, 11:32am

This is really explaining Grizel, I do wonder why EBD had such a down on her.

Why make her Head Girl if she wasn't up to the job, and then make her such a hard, unfeeling character, when EBD herself had explained why Grizel was as she was.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Richenda on Oct 30^th, 2003, 2:05pm

To go off topic slightly, I sometimes kind of thought that Joey was how EBD wanted to be, and Grizel was the person she was - a difficult childhood, teaching as something she HAD to do rather than something she loved.

Probably completely wide of the mark, but EBD didn't have such a downer on any other character, so I wondered whether EBD put the side of herself and her life she didn't like into Grizel and the side she did like into Joey.

Maybe Reunion was EBD coming to terms with herself at last.

Apologies for the pop psychology!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 30^th, 2003, 2:19pm

Interesting theory, Richenda! Although Joey and Grizel seem such opposites (they're poles apart when we first meet them in School At) that I think that would mean EBD was prone to schizophrenia! Mind you, given some of the Drabbles on here ..... !

“I jumped at the chance. To be honest, it seemed like a heaven sent opportunity … a one-way ticket out of teaching and the prospect of starting again in a new country. I even had the finances to make it viable. When Father died he left all his money to me outright except for a reasonable income for my stepmother. It’s been put in a fund for me until I’m thirty five although I can use it earlier if the two trustees agree …”
“And they are?” The Head felt she already knew the answer, or half of it.
“One is my Father’s old lawyer and the other is my stepmother. I was so enthusiastic about the idea that I never stopped to consider that either of them might say “no”. I forwarded the business plan to both of them and Father’s lawyer even commended it as very practical. My stepmother, however, took a different view.”
For the life of her, Grizel could not prevent the icy tone creeping into her speech and the Head, sensing what was coming, could not blame her.
“She insisted that Father had never meant for me to have the money until I was thirty five and that SHE intended to abide by his wishes. She made it very clear that she wasn’t going to allow me to touch a penny until I was thirty five, whatever the circumstances.”
Grizel fell silent, battling with the cold rage which threatened to envelop her.

Miss Annersley said nothing but radiated warmth. Genuinely concerned about Grizel, she had the insight to see that this disappointment was a huge setback to the young woman, not least because her dreams had been so cruelly and unnecessarily crushed. She was also perceptive enough to realise that Grizel was at the end of her tether. She deliberated for a moment or two, considering how best to help. Noticing that the room was getting dark she reached across to the small table between the two armchairs and flicked on the lamp before rising to draw the curtains. Then she moved across to her desk and the bottom drawer in which she kept her personal documents. Rifling through one of her files, she found the papers she was looking for and skimmed through the contents. With a quick nod to herself, she replaced the file and returned to her chair. Grizel remained huddled against her cushions, trying to come to terms with her grievances. Every time she thought about her stepmother, she could feel the bile rise in her throat. She knew it was poisoning her but whenever the woman entered even the outskirts of her thoughts, Grizel felt consumed by vitriol. She was rapidly learning that her good intentions must be supported by a firm resolve and as such, was beginning to doubt her own willpower.

“I’m sorry, Miss Annersley” she began, as she sensed the Head’s gaze on her. “I’m trying to control my feelings, really I am, but I just feel so eaten up with hatred and anger whenever I speak about her.”
“Hate is a strong word, Grizel, and a powerful emotion.” The Heads words were measured.
“But how else should I feel?” Grizel was confused by the Head’s tack. “Wouldn’t you feel the same way, in my shoes?”
“Perhaps,” was the reply, “but I believe I would be able to channel my hatred into something less destructive.”
Grizel stared.
“You see, Grizel, by dwelling on your fury, you’re effectively allowing your stepmother to keep a hold over you. I expect she is aware of the feelings she engenders in you, she may even use them to her advantage. If your feelings towards each other are mutual, as I suspect they are, she will know how to provoke you and there is never any winner when two people try to hurt each other.”
“I can understand that,” murmured Grizel, “but how can I convert what I feel into something less intense?”
“By refusing to recognise it as hatred. Imagine, for example, that the only feeling you have for her is dislike. They have the same roots but one is a much weaker emotion, therefore easier to manage. I think, that if you can learn to dislike your stepmother, you will feel more in charge of your relationship. One day you may even feel sorry for her.”
Grizel’s eyes widened at this last statement but she began to see the truth of the Head’s words.
“I believe you’re right, Miss Annersley. It’s back to the element of choice isn’t it? Just as I can choose how to react to situations I can choose to either control my emotions or be overwhelmed by them”
“Quite right!” The Head was pleased to observe that Grizel was quick to make the connection.
“But do you really think I could ever feel sorry for her?”
“I don’t see why not. Once you are able to manipulate your own feelings you will be in a better position to identify with other people. I think you will come to recognise that your stepmother is a very unhappy woman and that in itself may prompt your understanding and acceptance of her.”

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Sarah_L on Oct 30^th, 2003, 2:59pm

This is great. I love how Miss Annersley is so patient and understanding.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lesley on Oct 30^th, 2003, 5:40pm

Thank you Rachael - this is excellent - I will always feel that this is exactly what did occur behind those closed doors!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Nicolette on Oct 30^th, 2003, 7:19pm

Have just read the whole thread in one go. Absolutely wonderful Rachel. Even EBD never managed to make Miss Annersley so understanding, but you really have produced a worthy insight into Grizel's character. It's a shame you weren't on the scene to give a hand to Thekla!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by catherine on Oct 30^th, 2003, 9:12pm

This is really good, Rachael! More, please!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 30^th, 2003, 9:54pm

on 10/30/03 at 19:19:41, Nicolette wrote:

It's a shame you weren't on the scene to give a hand to Thekla!

Do you fancy tackling that next Rachel?

(Still don't seem to be able to get the new smily to work)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Nicolette on Oct 30^th, 2003, 10:35pm

I can see Rachel becoming a prize butter-in like our one and only Mary-Lou at this rate!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 30^th, 2003, 11:03pm

*forced to doubt whether even Carolyn could make Thekla more likeable*

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 30^th, 2003, 11:17pm

on 10/30/03 at 23:03:12, KB wrote:

*forced to doubt whether even Carolyn could make Thekla more likeable*

I wouldn't have a clue where to start.

Let Rachel try it. ;D

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 30^th, 2003, 11:55pm

*has to wonder whether even Rachael, with all her genius, could manage it*

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Nicolette on Oct 31^st, 2003, 12:06am

True, maybe Thekla is a bit extreme. And after all, you've gotta have some real nasties, they can't all bloom into wonderful understanding women, EBD or no EBD.

But what about Betty? How about a meeting of her and Elizabeth after Elizabeth has left school? Acutally that rings a bell. Has someone already done that? :-/

And please Rachel, more story!!!!!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 31^st, 2003, 12:23am

Yes, that's been done by Liss the Fluffy Bunny. You can find the original story here (http://www.chaletian.co.uk/stories/fiction/reunion/) and I thought there was a sequel to that but I can't find it.

FWIW, though, in one of the newsletters EBD says they never meet again.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Nicolette on Oct 31^st, 2003, 12:34am

*thinks that in the CS world of unbelievable coincidences the two girls would have eventually met up*

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Vikki on Oct 31^st, 2003, 3:06am

Coincidence? CS world? Never!! ::)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 31^st, 2003, 10:43am

Quote:

I can see Rachel becoming a prize butter-in like our one and only Mary-Lou at this rate!

*thinks she should be offended at this ;)*
As for Thekla :o :o I may have a go but it would not be a "nice" story like this - Thekla shows no repentance or redeeming qualities so I would imagine any behind doors chats are VERY interesting and they would have to be fairly cutting for Thekla to finally feel sorry years later and send her letter ... hmmm, may go back to Explits and Lintons for a look ....meanwhile ...

“I suppose only time will tell” mused Grizel. “The problem is, even if I do learn to forgive and forget, I’m no better off than I am now.”
The Head raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I admit that I shall feel better in myself if I can only follow your advice, and it would be nice not to have such a dark cloud hovering over me,” Grizel’s voice was wistful, “but I still won’t be able to join Deira.”
“What other avenues have you tried?”
“Only the bank and they refused outright to loan the capital to someone who was emigrating and I don’t have any credit history in New Zealand so it would be difficult enough to open a bank account never mind get a loan. I don’t have any relatives, Miss Annersley. I’m at a dead end.”
“Not necessarily.” She contemplated the mistress. Grizel was a very proud woman who could be quite haughty when affronted. The Head hoped that Grizel would be able to accept her next words in the spirit in which they were intended and that she would agree to her proposition.
“I would be honoured to lend you the money.”
Grizel froze, rendered speechless by this bombshell. After a few seconds it was clear that she was reeling with astonishment and had no idea how to react. The Head deemed it sensible to lighten the atmosphere.
“Grizel Cochrane, your eyes are like saucers! You could be a Junior Middle!”
It did the trick. Grizel relaxed before breaking into breathless protestations.
“Miss Annersley, I couldn’t possibly … it’s extremely kind of you but … but there’s no need … and … and I don’t want you to treat me as a charity case …”

The Head interrupted with a frown.
“Please don’t insult my offer, Grizel. This has nothing to do with charity and I’m offended that you should suggest it. My motives are quite sincere if you would only do me the courtesy of listening.”
This was the best way she could have dealt with Grizel. Cut off mid flow, it dawned on Grizel that her objections could be construed as rude.
“I’m sorry, Miss Annersley. Where are my manners? I shouldn’t have forgot myself … it’s just that … well, your offer has caught me completely off guard and whilst it’s extremely generous …”
Whatever Grizel was about to say was lost as the Head help up a peremptory hand.
“Grizel, I don’t want to hear it. My reasons for making this proposal are quite straightforward. I’ve had the privilege of watching you grow from a competent prefect to a respected member of staff. It grieves me to learn how unhappy you have been as a teacher and I wish to help. The music and books store sounds like a splendid idea and if, as you say, a lawyer has approved the business plan then I can see no problems. I am quite satisfied that two Old Girls of the Chalet School are capable of making a success of a small business. If not, then I should tender my resignation!”
Grizel could not help but chuckle at such fervour but the Head had not finished.
“I have every confidence in you, Grizel, and Deira. All I ask is that you keep me updated regarding the progress of your partnership and that you repay the loan as soon as is practicable, without leaving yourself in financial straits. Now, will you accept?”

“Are … are you sure?” Grizel did not know whether to laugh or cry.
“Positive!” The Head’s conviction put an end to her reservations.
“Then I would love to accept. It’s like a dream come true! Oh, Miss Annersley, you have no idea what this means to me!”
The Head’s eyes crinkled with amusement. Grizel’s wide beam of excitement and gleaming eyes belied her words.
“I think I have some idea, Grizel” she laughed. “Now it’s getting late and you have a lot to think about. I suggest we meet again tomorrow so we can go though the finer details of the loan. We also need to discuss your notice period and perhaps you would like to telephone Deira from here? I’m sure neither of you will want to wait for the post to deliver such news and we certainly don’t want you losing those premises.”
“That would be super, Miss Annersley, thank you!” Grizel’s mind was teeming with possibilities and the Head took pity on her.
“We’ve talked enough for one day and I can see your mind is racing. Come and see me tomorrow but right now I suggest supper and an early bed.”
Grizel took the hint. As she rose from her chair she thanked the Head once more.
“I really do appreciate this, Miss Annersley. I’m more grateful than I can put into words and I promise that I’ll do everything I can to ensure that you don’t regret this. And … and thank you for sparing me so much time and helping me to understand things. I feel so much fresher and positive about everything”
“As I said before, Grizel, I trust you and I know you’ll give me no reason to be disappointed. Good night, dear.
“Good night, Miss Annersley”

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Oct 31^st, 2003, 11:08am

Isn't Hilda super.

For some odd reason this has brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you Rachel. Is there more, or is that sadly it?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Oct 31^st, 2003, 12:37pm

Thanks, Carolyn

I have plans for taking it up to where Grizel is waved off on her trip to NZ - I certainly imagine her having a heart-to-heart with Joey before she goes .... would love to see what happens in NZ but regrettably that needs to be someone else's plot bunny!!

Am seriously tempted by Thekla though ..... :-/

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lesley on Oct 31^st, 2003, 8:09pm

Wonderful Rachael. Brought a smile to my face!

(and I needed it after battling the M25 for 3 hours - and no inspiration!)

More please - this weekend! You've no excuse this time!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Oct 31^st, 2003, 9:33pm

Absolutely beautiful. I can see why this scene was the making of Grizel. You are going to send this to Liss so that we can enjoy it over and over, aren't you?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Esmeralda on Nov 1^st, 2003, 12:48am

Wonderful Rachael, and I'm very pleased to hear that there is more to come.

Looking forward to the next part.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Vikki on Nov 1^st, 2003, 1:30am

I'd like some more too, please!!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by ravenseyes on Nov 2^nd, 2003, 10:46pm

Could I have a crack at starting the Grizel in New Zealand ?
I've never tried anything like this before but would these do as starters ??

Grizel Cochrane stood at the bow of the liner that had brought her from Southampton to Auckland, and gazed across the wonderfully blue water at the city that she hoped she would call home.

?That?s Waiheke Island and that is Rangitoto Island? said Lisa Fletcher who was standing next to Grizel at the rail. An Aucklander, she had regaled Grizel with descriptions of life in and around Auckland, and for Grizel arriving on a beautiful sunny February morning the world looked promising.

The six week voyage had done much for her, the care lines and habitual look of discontent had faded and she was lightly tanned. Indeed she looked younger than the woman who had boarded the boat on a cold, rainy English winters day.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 2^nd, 2003, 10:55pm

Sounds an excellent start. Why don't you get writing and post it as a new thread so we don't get confused between the two stories, especially as Rachael hasn't quite finished hers yet.

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lesley on Nov 2^nd, 2003, 11:19pm

Agreed - will look out for it!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Esmeralda on Nov 2^nd, 2003, 11:53pm

Agreed - sounds like an excellent idea - will definitely look out for Grizel in New Zealand.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Nov 5^th, 2003, 9:01am

Here's my end bits - I'll tidy it up and see whether Liss will accept to Fiction site
Raveneyes - looking forward to seeing how she gets on in NZ ... good luck!

The following morning, Grizel met with Miss Annersley again and they finalised the arrangements. The Head spoke to her bank and arranged for some of her own capital to be released and the money transferred to Grizel’s account. Grizel agreed to work a term’s notice and then rang Deira to give her the glad tidings. From the shrieks of joy emanating from the receiver, the Head ascertained that Deira was over the moon with the change in events and congratulated herself on making the right decision. Grizel began investigating ticket prices for the long ocean journey to New Zealand and by the beginning of her final term everything was settled. She would depart that summer. Grizel made time to seek out Biddy O’Ryan to bring her up-to-date with the news. Biddy had been present during the aftermath of the blaze and had been kind to the elder woman even though there had previously been no real love lost between them. Grizel had explained a little of what was going on in her life and the Irish girl was honestly delighted for her colleague.
“’Tis pleased for you I am, Grizel” she said giving her a hug. “You deserve some happiness in your life and I’m glad that things are working out for you at last. We’ll miss you, that we will, but I’m sure you’ll be writing and letting us know how you’re getting on.”
“Of course, I will!” affirmed Grizel, “and I’ll let you all know my address as soon as I’m settled.”

Another transatlantic phone call was made, this time to Lady Russell.
“Hello Madge, this is Hilda, how are you?”
“Hilda! How wonderful to hear from you! How are you? How’s the school?”
“I’m very well, thank you and looking forward to the holidays. The school is very quiet now that the last of the girls have left and I thought I would take this opportunity to let you know that I had a very valuable discussion with Grizel. She’s working a term’s notice and then leaving for New Zealand to set up in partnership with Deira O’Hagan. It seems that was much of the problem. Her grandmother had refused to release the monies Grizel has in trust for her which she needed as capital for the business.”
“But where on earth did she find the money?”
“I have loaned it to her … now don’t screech, I know what I’m doing …”
“But Hilda, it can’t have been an insubstantial sum. I hope you can afford it!” Madge’s concern was palpable.
“What do you take me for Madge? That was the first thing I checked as soon as it occurred to me. I have a number of savings and I made some canny investments a few years ago which are beginning to pay dividends. It seems her father’s lawyer was the other trustee and as he had originally approved their business plan, then who am I to gainsay him. Grizel needed a lucky break and I’m happy to be the catalyst. What she makes of the opportunity is up to her but I sense that she’s going to give it her best shot, Madge, and I think we will have just cause to be proud of her in the next few years.”
“I’m pleased to hear it. Anything else to report?”
“No, I’m just about to start my packing as I’ve taken Nell up on her offer to spend a week at her cottage and I must say, I’m very much looking forward a few days of rest and relaxation.”
The voice at the other end of the telephone was amused. “Hilda Annersley, I swear you know exactly what I meant and you’ve side-stepped it neatly. I rather think that your discussion with Grizel was more convoluted than you’re letting on but the girls don’t call you the Abbess for nothing so I’m not going to push you. It’s enough to know that you’ve made a difference and for that I’m very indebted. Have a wonderful vacation, Hilda and I’ll call you at the beginning of next term. Goodbye!”
“Goodbye, Madge and thank you! “ The Head smiled to herself as she replaced the receiver, grateful, not for the first time, that her employer encouraged such autonomy.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Nov 5^th, 2003, 9:02am

Joey Maynard, meanwhile, had insisted on inviting Grizel to tea before she herself left for Canada. Tucking in to a magnificent spread, including Anna’s inimitable cream cakes, Grizel reflected that she was going to miss her friend.
“Penny for them?” Jo had been watching Grizel closely, wondering what had made her chum fall quiet.
Grizel grinned. “I’m not sure I should tell you, you might get swollen-headed!”
In retaliation, Joey caught up a cushion and made as if to throw it.
“Mind the china!” cried Grizel as she ducked.
“You just tell me what you meant by swollen-headed” threatened Jo, continuing to wield the cushion.
“Only that I was thinking how much I’m going to miss you … but goodness knows why!” Grizel believed in taking the war into the enemy’s camp but Jo did not rise.
“I shall miss you too, Griselda, you’re my oldest friend,” Joey flung down her weapon and looked serious. “New Zealand is a long way, you know, promise me that you’ll stay in touch?”
“Of course I will and I’m relying on you to keep me updated with all the hanes from home. Even when you’re in Canada I expect you’ll know exactly what’s going on and where!”
“The cheek of it!” but Jo had to admit that Grizel was right. “I’ll write to you monthly, I can commit to that much … provided we don’t have any additions to the family, that is!”, at which point the irredeemable Jo winked provocatively.
Josephine Mary Maynard! You don’t mean …?!”
“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies, Griselda my lamb, but suffice to say I’m not content with six children … Mike is no longer a baby and there’s still plenty of time for twins or even quads yet!”
Grizel spluttered over her tea, “Joey, you really are incorrigible!” she chortled.

Jo giggled companionably before leaning over and clasping Grizel’s hand.
“Grizel, I truly hope that all your dreams are fulfilled in New Zealand, “she began and Grizel was surprised to note that Jo, for once in her life, was looking shy.
“What is it Jo?” she demanded.
“I don’t mean to pry, Grizel, but sometimes I wonder whether you ever miss all the joy that comes with having a loved one. I suppose I mean the happiness I share with Jack or that Marie, Frieda and Simone have with Eugen, Bruno and Andre.”
The old Grizel would have balked at this and quite probably felt slighted. But the new Grizel was learning fast and grasped that Joey’s intent was genuine so she answered with some consideration.
“To be honest, Jo, I don’t think I do miss or regret anything on that front,” she began, “how can I miss something that I’ve never had. It’s weird, that old adage, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”? I just don’t understand it. How can it be better to lose something wonderful that you’ve actually experienced than never to know it all? Wouldn’t that make it worse? I’d love to meet someone special, of course I would, but I’m certainly not going to brood on what might be … I’ll take each day as it comes and if I’m lucky enough to meet someone special, I’ll be thrilled, but I’m not going to put the rest of my life on hold waiting for something that may never happen ...”

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Rachael P on Nov 5^th, 2003, 9:03am

“Good for you, Grizel!” Far be it from Jo to explain how love is that most precious of emotions which once tasted can never be ignored. For now, she was relieved that Grizel was demonstrating a healthy attitude towards life and all it vicissitudes. One day, she hoped, Grizel would experience the perfect beauty and simplicity of a love, which, once reciprocated, can not be refuted. Unconditional love being the most pure of passions Jo instinctively felt that it was something best experienced on a personal level. Even her undisputed talents for writing and getting under others’ skins were inadequate in the face of something so uniquely individual.
“I pray that you may find that happiness, Grizel, “she said earnestly, “But until then I wish you all the best with your venture with Deira and when you make your first million, remember a poor authoress on the other side of the world!” Finishing poker-faced, Jo glanced at Grizel out of the corner of her eye, anticipating a reaction. She was not kept in suspense for long.
“Joey! You’re hardly impoverished! Your books are published across the English-speaking world! Deira was just telling me how she always picked up your latest novel in her local bookstore …”
“I thought that would get a rise” pronounced Jo, somewhat smugly.
“I guess that makes us even then” responded Grizel with a grimace.

The rest of the conversation followed more mundane lines, although the good-natured teasing continued. When Grizel was ready to leave the two women embraced.
“Grizel, I meant what I said about you being my oldest friend”
“And you mine, Jo” Grizel smiled. “And I know that oldest doesn’t mean nearest or dearest but it counts for something doesn’t it?”
“You bet it does!” countered Joey with scant disregard for the Queen’s English. “But what I mean is, well, we’ve shared a lot together over the years and even though we haven’t always seen eye to eye, we’ve a lot in common ....”
“We must do to have survived over twenty years of bickering!”
“ … which is why I want you to know” Jo continued undeterred, “ that there’ll always be a home with us for you if ever you need it. Don’t ever forget that, Grizel.”
Grizel was usually undemonstrative but the Head’s words had gone a long way to breaking down her defences and as she caught Joey in a bear hug, she could feel the tears pricking at her eyes.
“Thank you, Joey, I appreciate you saying that. You and Madame have always been the closest family I’ve ever had and it’s good to know that won’t change.”
“Never!” said Jo, tactfully ignoring Grizel’s suspiciously moist eyes. “Now take care of yourself and God willing we’ll meet again before too long. Until then, we’ll just have to be content with letters and the occasional phone call. Bon voyage, Grizel!”
“And you, Joey!”

A few days later, once Grizel had seen to it that her luggage was safely deposited in her small but comfy cabin and was standing with the other passengers waving madly at the crowds left on the dock, she ruminated on the conversations with both Miss Annersley and Joey. She did indeed feel as though a great weight lift had been lifted from her shoulders and for the first time since she had been a pupil at the Chalet School, she could look to the future with optimism.
“Here’s to New Zealand and all it may bring” was her private toast as she turned from the streamers and shouted farewells to unpack and prepare for her greatest adventure yet …

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Lesley on Nov 5^th, 2003, 9:37am

That was beautiful Rachael - it will now be a permanent addition to Carola Storms the CS - Thank You.

(You will be posting to the fiction board?)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Trish on Nov 5^th, 2003, 10:29am

*sniff*

That's quite a touching ending Rachael. Wonderful!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Nov 5^th, 2003, 12:01pm

Wonderful, Rachael. You couldn't have finished it any better.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Carolyn P on Nov 5^th, 2003, 6:20pm

Wonderful. Will we be seeing it on the fiction board?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by alicosten on Nov 5^th, 2003, 9:00pm

I've just read your story all the way through and it's exactly how I would want to see grizel being treated. So understanding and realistic, Hurrah for hilda!

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Nicolette on Nov 5^th, 2003, 11:55pm

Three cheers for Hilda, and for Grizel. They both deserve it. Hurrah, Grizel finally on her way to happiness. :) :)

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by catherine on Nov 7^th, 2003, 8:45pm

Finally caught up with this and it's fantastic! Really well written! Have you thought about writing a book about Grizel? Her childhood etc.?

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Esmeralda on Nov 7^th, 2003, 11:30pm

Wonderful - it's great to see Grizel being treated so sensitively, and the ending was so touching.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Jennie on Nov 8^th, 2003, 11:49am

It was so good to read about Grizel being given a chance to be happy, after the raw deal she got from that horrible step-mother, and from EBD, so thank you.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Susan on Nov 9^th, 2003, 3:33pm

Well done Rachael that was a beautiful, inspiring story. Very sensitively written. I too would like to see it on the fiction page, and would add it to 'Carola'.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by KB on Nov 9^th, 2003, 9:51pm

Maybe Liss should add a section to her site called 'Fictional Fill-ins', being scenes that are written by people other than EBD or other authors, and will fill in gaps, like this one. She could give the book and where it fits.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Susan on Nov 10^th, 2003, 12:03am

That sounds like a good idea to me.

Title: Re: Grizel's Story (SCS)
Post by Ray on Nov 11^th, 2003, 12:54pm

This is my first drabble read since I got back - and what a great place to start off :) Really, really good story, Rachael - and excellently done for not taking any 'easy' ways out, either.

Ray *applauds*