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Stories & Imaginings >> Cookies & Drabbles >> Dr Venables...
(Message started by: KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:44pm)

Title: Dr Venables...
Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:44pm
...appears to have vanished, replaced by a second edition of 'A Serious Attempts at the Chalet School'. Boo.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:46pm
I noticed that! I was re reading it 'critically' to see the point of Pat's? remarks, and it went funny on page 28! refused to open, said it didn't exist...what happened?!

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by KB on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:50pm
It's happened before. For no apparent reason, the thread vanishes and then is replaced by another one, which goes silly, too, and shows people posting but doesn't show the post. Things like that. There's nothing to be done. It's gone. *sob*

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 28th, 2003, 11:51pm
*joins KB in her mourning*
Well at least from the perspective of Serious Attempt, if it crashes I can easily restore it.. bit i *did* enjoy Venables even if it was silly!

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lesley on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:14am
Where's it gone? How am I going to get my laughter fix now?
Hey do you think it's been pulled because it was too silly?

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:19am
I wondered that myself, Lesley. Shame. Of course, the last I remember was that the Head was contending with Dr Who, Amelia Peabody and James Bond. We'd killed Daisy horribly. Perhaps we could resurrect it as a comedy crime CS story?

*cringes at the thought of what KB will say, but points out that Lesley can't be left laughterless *

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:43am
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! What happened to our masterpiece? How can life be so cruel? :'( :'(

*sulks at having missed the introduction of James Bond and Amelia Peabody*

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Ray on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:49am
Well, JAmes Bond entered through the window while Amanda Peabody entered through the door after having blown up the Splasheries

I think.

Ray *not sure on that last point*

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:54am
*gets very cross at the board for picking this thread to eat!*
*wonders if anyone had printed it out?*

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by KB on Aug 29th, 2003, 2:24am
Heck, I don't mind. I was laughing at it as hard as anyone. I'd love to see it resurrected. The last thing I remember was James introducing himself and the Head responding with

"Annersley. Hilda - what are you doing here?"

Oh, and then she went up to get Matt and send him off with one or other of the heroes to fight the Daleks that were massing outside the gate. I believe she might have blackmailed him.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Ally on Aug 29th, 2003, 9:32am
*Takes a quick look around*  Anyone else get the feeling we are being watched! - I'm sure we could develop a conspiracy theory about dissapearing threads, and where they go!

*Also sulking because she missed the lastest developments*

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Jennie on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:23am
I was going to read it all through again.

Jennie wishes to start an armed rebellion, aimed at returneing our Dr. Venable'.

Kalashnikovs at the ready, girls.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:47pm
I'm convinced we are being watched. I said somewhere else that maybe it was the Head getting her revenge for all the rotten things we did to her. After all, KB *did* warn us and we completely ignored her..

*grousing as much as everyone else*

DID anyone with two brains to rub together print it out?!
*perks up again and looks hopeful.... ::) *

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Rachel on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:56pm
I suppose now we also have to hope that Anne and Clarissa are in the habit of checking the CBB on an hourly (if not sooner!) basis and were able to read the next CS continuation when it was a work in progress.

If they didn't, they will be vastly disappointed!

(How did Daisy die?!)

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by PatW on Aug 29th, 2003, 12:57pm
Personally I think it more likely that we've been visited by the ghost of EBD! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:01pm
Smashed on the head with a cricket following her transformation into Frankie's sister. According to the noble author, her head resembled a squashed watermelon.


Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Rachel on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:04pm

on 08/29/03 at 13:01:16, Lisa_T wrote:
Smashed on the head with a cricket following her transformation into Frankie's sister. According to the noble author, her head resembled a squashed watermelon.


Amazing really - one wouldn't imagine an insect as small as a cricket being capable of such destruction. It just goes to show you can never be too careful.

Rachel ~ shaking head sorrowfully and looking out for small creatures with murderous intentions.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:06pm
ROFL! Oooops. I did it again. Cricket BAT! *waiting for somene to make a similar crack about bats..*
Oh, and a cricket could cos that destruction. Think Honey I Shrunk the Kids! Maybe Daisy had been shrunk- or the cricket enlarged...?

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Rachel on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:12pm
Maybe we should just continue the Dr Venables story on here? Obviously, it will make absolutely no sense to anyone who hadn't read the original, but then quite often life does that to you! Or maybe we could, between us, come up with a luffly wee synopsis of the previous drabble of the same name? Something along the lines of:

Hunky new Science teacher arrives at CS.

ALL the females are after him.

Hilda has her wicked way with Jem - produces "Minty" in prayers.

I'm sure that would clear matters up for anyone new to this drabble   ;D

Rachel ~ now wondering if she is keeping up or if she has confused several drabbles (I get confused just reading the darned things!)

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by PatW on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:25pm

on 08/29/03 at 13:12:53, Rachel wrote:
Rachel ~ now wondering if she is keeping up or if she has confused several drabbles (I get confused just reading the darned things!)

I'm glad I'm not the only one!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:41pm
What's happened to the original thread? :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( I personally think that Ann and Clarissa have been on the CBB and have cunningly removed it... I did start to make a copy of the actual story line but it's not nearly as funny as the original thread was with all the comments from people rolling on the floor laughing... Maybe it's a good thing it has vanished if people were offended by the content.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Mac on Aug 29th, 2003, 1:52pm
I have a copy of the story itself saved. I agree it's not quite as funny without the running commentary - although it was still enough to cause the people around me to think I've taken temporary leave of my senses when I reread it  ::)

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 2:23pm
oooh. then why don't you post it, just for the benefit of those who missed it first time round? alternatively, you could post it to Liss for the fiction page...! Did you get all of it- James Bond and all?

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Jennie on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:03pm
What about posting the first bit again, and seeing what we make of it this time round? It could actually be a genuine CS Book, and something really good. Perhaps it might not disappear this time.

Sorry to be serious, I loved the first go, but we might do even better next time around.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Ally on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:07pm
Well as I think it went pear-shaped on the first page, shall we start off with Daisy trying to be a doctor, or do you want to start further into the story?

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Jennie on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:17pm
We? We? We?

Did you mean 'Why don't I do something about it' Ally? It's all yours.


Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Ally on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:19pm
No Fear

I was asking the board as a whole!

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:24pm

on 08/29/03 at 16:03:28, Jennie wrote:
What about posting the first bit again, and seeing what we make of it this time round? It could actually be a genuine CS Book, and something really good. Perhaps it might not disappear this time.

Sorry to be serious, I loved the first go, but we might do even better next time around.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::) :o ::) :o
You implying the first version was anything *but* really good?!

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Jennie on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:28pm
It was ace, I laughed so much that I ended up having to pick  pieces of tuna fish sandwich out of the keyboard.  (Sorry to create such a disgusting picture in everyone's minds)

That's what I call successful.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:34pm
Lovely (!) LOL. Has your keyboard recovered yet? I hope you haven't got a cat!

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Jennie on Aug 29th, 2003, 4:48pm
Two. Picture the scene, trying to pick tuna fish out of a keyboard, whilst fighting off two large  determined tabby cats.

The keyboard started to look terminal, but decided to recover after I threatened it with a hammer. (My perennial cure for misbehaving computers. I got the idea from Terry Pratchett's 'Good Omens'

I'm pleased to say that it seems to work, much cheaper than a repair shop.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Vikki on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:09pm

on 08/29/03 at 16:28:53, Jennie wrote:
It was ace, I laughed so much that I ended up having to pick  pieces of tuna fish sandwich out of the keyboard.  (Sorry to create such a disgusting picture in everyone's minds)

That's what I call successful.

Wise answer Jennie! It doesn't pay to mess with Dr Venables! ;D ;)

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:14pm
Right, I'm goint to post the beginning of the original Dr Venables masterpiece so evryone can see how it all began....

Dr. Daisy Venables took a final affectionate look around the Saal at Freudesheim. Any minute Jack would drive her to the Great Sanatorium at the other end of the Platz for her first day of work as a Junior House Officer. She was excited, of course, to be finally a part of the institution that had grown up alongside her. At the same time she was almost unbearably nervous, and was having serious thoughts about hiding in her room and never coming out.  
'Ah well,' she said to the room at large, 'I'll be back in a few hours, I suppose.'
'That's right, chin up old thing!' came Jack's voice from the doorway. Daisy spun round to meet him.  
'Come on then! Don't want to be late on your first day, do you?' he asked with a grin. Daisy answered with a brave smile and they left the house.
  A little way along the road, Jack spoke again.  
'Look, Daisy-girl, I know you're feeling nervous about this, it's only natural,' he flashed her a look of understanding and continued, 'there are a lot of hopes riding on your placement here. You're the first female doctor we've had at the San. I'm not saying this to make you feel worse, on the contrary, you should be proud that you're the first. I know you'll make a success of it, and you do too, I think.'
'Thanks Uncle Jack,' said Daisy shakily, 'I am nervous, but I think I can succeed. I- I'll try my best, anyhow, and Saints can't do more.'
By now they had reached the San, and Daisy walked through the main doors with her head held high.
Mr. Matthew Qualtrough sat alone in his small flat in the suburbs of Edinburgh and read the letter which had just arrived for him. A bubble of excitement rose in his chest. He'd got the job! He, Matt Qualtrough had a job at one of the most prestigious girls' schools in England. Or not in England, he corrected himself with a wry grin.  
'Switzerland, here I come!' he exclaimed.
Meanwhile, there was something of an uproar in the Staff Room at the Chalet School. The Head had just broken the news that, for the first time in the school's history, they were to have a resident master.. (of what? dear knows!)
Latin? Classics? Woodwork? Physics? Chemistry? A science teacher would be good CS has loads of the other sorts of teacher but its thin on the ground as far as science is concerned.
Hilda Annersley regarded the mob - and there was no other term for it - dispassionately. Finally she said, "We have been in need of a dedicated science teacher for some time now. Dr Qualtrough is excellently qualified for the position. He will be joining us for the coming school year, and will initially be teaching only the seniors. Madame stated - and Nell and I agree whole-heartedly - that it was more important to get the most qualified person, both academically and personally, for the position and not to worry about whether or not they were male or female."
"It is," Nell Wilson added, a twinkle in her eye, "after all, the 1960s not the 1860s!"

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:15pm
That brought forth a burst of laughter and neatly defused what had been promising to be a serious argument.
Apart from a few mutterings there was very little conversation about the new master that day.
The next day soon arrived and with it Matt the science master...
Please, please can Matt be drop dead gorgeous. I am so sick of all EBD's men being merely pleasant faced individuals. Lets have some real, honest to God talent in the school!  
Your wish, my command (I hope, providing my **** pc doesn't crash again) adendum: It let me!!! *ray does a happy dance and now departs for bed*  
Kathy Ferrars, an old hand now at meeting and greeting new members of staff and school, was duly dispatched to Interlaken to meet Matt off his train. She had been armed with a physical description, courtesy of Rosalie: He was around six foot tall, with dark hair and brown eyes. It wasn't much to go on, but for all that, Kathie wasn't nervous about whether or not she'd successfully meet her charge, it had been arranged that she would be waiting by the exit gate.
The train arrived and disgorged its passengers. A mix, Kathy noted, of late season tourists, locals and the odd business man added in for good measure.
"Excuse me?" The lilting Scots voice drew Kathy from her observations. Looking up, she found her mouth going dry. "Are you Miss Ferrars?"
"Please, call me Kathy," she replied, hoping she didn't suddenly sound ridiculously nervous, "Dr Qualtrough?"
"Matt," he answered, smiling.
Kathy found the starch leaving her knees completely at that. He was heart stoppingly gorgeous. His dark hair was short cut and straight, lending it a spiky appearance - although she was more than willing to bet the spikes were silky soft to touch - while his eyes were deep, dark pools of chocolate that danced with a humorous light. High cheekbones and a patrician nose completed the effect.
"Welcome to Interlaken," Kathy finally managed to mumble, a blush now painting her cheeks. "This way," she directed. And please let me not make a complete and utter fool of myself.
"Lay on MacDuff," Matt quoted with a smile.
W-o-o-o-o-w! *she breathes*. My knees are weak just reading about him!
Not so much Freudian as 'Ray couldn't find her copy of Shakespeare to check the quote before she pressed send...'
Note to self: Even if it IS nearly midnight and even if your PC HAS just crashed four times in trying to send the post, ALWAYS check your quotes...
Glad you like Matt, though, Emily
Ray *donning the dunce cap*
You've got to have something between Matt and Kathy!
Oh yes  - more Matt & Kathie ... definitely!
Perhaps it was a Freudian slip on the part of Matt who is secretly rather taken with the small, fresh-faced young mistress?
(I refuse to believe that you can get from "Lead on MacDuff" to "Lay on Macduff" without Freud being involved somewhere but that could just be my dirty mind)
Ooooh - I think all the mistresses are going to lust after him - not to mention the girls!  What has Madge done
Kathie Ferrars smiled weakly and lead the way to a little motor car which took them up to the school. They drove on in silence, Kathie to stunned by this man to say anything and 'Matt' unable to take his eyes of the beautiful scenery. By and by the pair arrived...
Don't forget that Matey would NEVER allow S*x to take place anywhere in or near the CS, so is Hilda Annersley keeping some important information from the female staff, or can we expect an invisible courtship followed by a marriage at which the second tier of the cake is sent over for the school to eat?
Finally gaining the Platz, Matt let out a low whistle. "That's some road," he observed.
Kathy had to laugh at that. "One term for it," she agreed.
"Reminds me of my home," he continued.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:16pm
"I'm from the Fort William area," he elaborated. "A little hamlet just to the north, to be strictly accurate - and the family house is at the top of a drive just like that road." He smiled boyishly. "I'll bet it's fun going down."
Kathy laughed again. "It's certainly a good test of the brakes." She pulled into the wide, sweeping drive that led to the school. "And this is Chalet School. Welcome."
Matt took a moment to study the building they were pulling up before. Despite its size and the attached extensions and buildings, there was something instantly homely and welcoming about it.
*unsure as to whether or not this is suitable reading for a good CS girl but greatly intrigued and entertained nonetheless*
When Matt came to report to the study he discovered Miss Annersley was busy interviewing a new pupil.  As he waited outside, feeling a little like a delinquent, he was the object of much attention from all those who passed him.  He began to colour slightly, which rendered him all the more attractive, and might serve to explain why Gwen Aran, on exiting the study, did a double take and almost walked into the wall, so intent was she on admiring Matt.
Gwen headed rapidly into the middle's commonroom after picking herself up from the floor. How embarrassing!
"You will NOT believe what I've just seen standing out side the Abbess' study!" she yelled.
"Quiet!" hushed several people. "Don't want to have the prefects in here first day of term."
Gwen moderated her tones. "Sorry - but honestly; you'll never guess!"
'WHAT!' cried the room full of middles, even though Gwen was new she had been with many of them at the KG and so she felt quite at home.
'There's a man! A beautiful man! He's standing outside the study!' cried Gwen.
There was a moment of stunned hush in the middles' common room, the like of which only occurred once in a very blue moon. Then everyone spoke at once:
Gwen sighed, 'Just what i said you goops a beautiful man! Why, i could just kiss him you know!' exclaimed Gwen, her eyes dancing with delight.
'Oh Gwen, i think he's a teacher, the new science master, you couldn't kiss a teacher!' said Veronica a more conscientious child who was much less worldly than Gwen.
'Ronny, even you could kiss him, he's marvellous!' sighed Gwen, throwing herself back onto a chair in a thoroughly love struck way.
'I say Gwen, you can't do things like that, old Matey will have our guts for garters she will!' said Holly, one of the more level headed girls in the room.
"He is drop dead gorgeous!" said Gwen "And I don't care, so there!"
By now some of the more frivolous girls were gathering round Gwen demanding more information.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Lisa_T on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:17pm
Thanks, Emma! ;) But this is the sensible bit. The best bit was when things began to go haywire. I think it was either the death of Reg, or the 'thingy' saga that started it off!

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:17pm
"Go and see for yourselves" was all she would vouchsafe "He's peachy, that's all I'm saying, and he's in the Abbess' study right now if you want to have a peek!"
Gwen settled back in her armchair, subsiding into her own daydream from which she refused to be drawn.
Meanwhile in the study, Miss Annersley gave Matt a very steady gaze. Eyes that had never yet needed glasses took in the faint flush of embarrassment on the young, Scotsman before her. She realised a little something of the cause and she smiled reassuringly. "There is," she said, "something of a novelty value to you at this moment. You are our first master in one of the core subjects." Matt nodded. "So you will have to forgive some of our more...impressionable pupils. I trust that they will not step beyond their bounds..."
"And I certainly won't encourage them!" Matt finished hastily.
At that, Miss Annersley smiled a little wider. "I'm sure you won't. Lady Russell and I have every faith in you as a person and as a teacher."
"However," she continued, "young girls of a certain age have a tendency towards sentiment and romance which in this establishment we discourage. If you do detect unnecessary whispering and giggling which you deem to be inappropriate I would ask you to nip it in the bud or alternatively bring it to my attention at once. I have great faith in our girls (oh dear, Jean Brodie anyone?!) and the majority of them are very responsible but I have no doubt that one or two may see fit to foster what I can only describe as improper thoughts about you. This must be discouraged immediately.
Now then, I do not wish to dwell on maybes. Are you settling down comfortably in your quarters?"
Miss Annersley continued to make chit chat with Dr Qualtrough for the next few minutes and then dismissed him, explaining that she would see him again at Abendessen. Matt returned to his room somewhat dazedly. The initial pride and excitement he had felt at his appointment to such a prestigious school was now being eclipsed by the responsibility he was feeling. Oh how he hoped and prayed that the "girls" would not prove to be as hormonal and silly as he had observed in his younger sisters and their friends!
Matt Qualtrough looked around the spacious, comfortable bed-sitting room which had been allocated to him, and decided to finish his unpacking and ensure that all his possessions were stowed away neatly.  
After completing this, he looked out of the window, and seeing that it was a fine afternoon, decided that  he would go out for a walk to stretch his legs and get his bearings on the Gornetz Platz. He swiftly changed into suitable cord trousers and a heavy sweater, and pulled on heavy socks and his walking boots.  
He found his way to the office to let the Head's secretary know his intentions, but found that Rosalie Dene was almost as tongue-tied as Kathy Ferrars had been. He told her that he was going out for a short walk and would be back in time for   Kaffee und Kuchen, and left the school by the side door. As he walked down the path, he reflected that apart from Miss Annersley, the women staff seemed to be remarkably tongue-tied. Still, he consoled himself, Rosalie Dene was obviously a very busy woman with a highly responsible job.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:18pm
He turned onto the road, and began to walk past what seemed to be a small hotel or pension. Just as he was level with the gate, he saw a woman in her forties running down the path towards him, calling out his name.
Wondering who she was, he courteously stopped and waited for her to reach him. As she drew closer, he saw that she was quite tall, with brown eyes and dark hair arranged in a somewhat old fashioned way with plaits wound into ear-phones over her ears. The thought shot through his mind that he had not seen hair arranged in that way since his great-aunt Mildred had died at the age of ninety-two, but he managed a pleasant smile.
She immediately addressed him. 'I'm Joey Maynard, the very first pupil that the Chalet School ever had. My sister, Lady Russell, owns the school. I wanted to welcome you to the Gornetz Platz, and to let you know that you are always welcome at Freudesheim, our house.  
'I always have the new people over to tea on Sunday afternoons, so I'll send an invitation.  Now, my lamb, if you have any problems, any problems at all, just let Hilda Annersley know that you've come over to Freudesheim to see me, so we can talk it over, and I'll do what in me lies to help you sort it out.'
Matt was absolutely amazed at this, and wondered if his jaw had dropped all the way down to his chest.
Mrs Maynard, however, carried on gaily, 'My husband is the Head of the San further up the Platz, you'll be able to meet him soon I hope, and we’ll   introduce you to our long family. You'll soon be able to tell one of our babies from another, and I'm sure you'll enjoy their company'
Just as his mind was beginning to reel under the onslaught of this flood of information, Matt saw that a vision was approaching them down the path.  
His bemused mind took in the long, rich, chestnut hair which curled down her back, the violet-grey eyes, the well-cut lips and firm chin, and all at once he realised that here was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in   his life.
'Oh, hello Len dear, this is the new science master at the school, a Dr Qualtrough. Dr, this is my eldest, Helena Entwistle, married and a proud mama of quads!' delcared Joey introducing her eldest daughter with pride. (sorry folks, i couldn't resist the quads thing!)  
'Good Lord, quads, thats unusual!' said Matt, his wonder at Lens beauty forgotten for a time.
Len laughed her pretty rippling laugh that reminded matt of a little brook, 'Not in our family really, i'm the eldest triplet and there are a couple of sets of twins in my family not to mention the cousins. You can't meet the other girls because they are all at school but i can certainly introduce you to my four, they are identical girls!' and with that Matt was willingly lead by Len into her home which resided right next to her mothers.
(sorry side tracked abit!)
*Must remember that as a successful chat up line next time I meet a drop dead gorgeous hunk of a man - "Wanna come see my quads?". Query - does one say this with or without a leer?*

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:19pm
*goes away to fetch a cloth*
*wipes screen and keyboard*
Ray *making note that the usual food and drink warnings apply*
With a sinking heart, Matt realised that , as matters stood, he would never be able to develop a close relationship with Len Entwhistle. As a married woman, she was forbidden fruit. He wondered despairingly whether he would hate her husband on sight, or whather he would find him tolerable.
What Matt did not realise was that, under her show of happiness, Len was feeling trapped and resentful. She had realised very soon after her wedding that she did not love Reg. Her pregnancy had put a great strain on her, especially as the whole family had erupted in paeons of delight that she was producing the first quadruplets in the family.  She began to realise then that the future for her was very bleak indeed.
Listening to her mother's chatter, Len realised that the family assumed that  she would go on to have many more children,
a prospect that filled Len with dread.
But now, here in her salon, sat a man to whom she was not only attracted, but with whom she had fallen fathoms deep in love at first glance.
Under her gay chatter, her mind was working furiously. Inwardly she began to curse her parents who had refused to listen to her doubts about her forthcoming marriage when she had tried to discuss it with them after her graduation from Oxford. She also realised that her lukewarm affection for Reg had already turned to indifference and dislike. She realised that what she really wanted was to be free of the entire situation, parents, siblings, husband, children, school.  
She no longer wished to be 'one of the best Head Girl's we ever had'. She was bored with motherhood, wanted out of her marriage, and she despaired of her mother ever growing up and realising that that no-one actually cared about the history of the Chalet School any more.
Len's inner anguish grew.
For such an intelligent young woman, it's taken Len rather a long time to realise just how pathetic Reg is!  
And Joey should be taken out and shot at dawn for foisting her own desires upon her daughter.
But I absolve Jack of any blame  (Mainly because he's so sweet if you really want to know)
Mein Gott!
I feel sorry for Matt here - first Daisy, then Kathy(ie?), then Rosalie now Len...with a few middles thrown in for good measure...
And do we all have it in for Reg on here?
Ray *cowering before yet another plot bunny*
Everything will be resolved when Matt <sigh> reveals he is actually one of six identical brothers, ranging nicely in age to suit all the women currently lusting after him.
Would this be the point at which he should also reveal that his parents established a boys school in the Highlands which is currently seeking to merge with a nice girls school in order to become co-ed?
*I'm afraid Reg is going to die later on, you see my mum was just saying he should die in a tragic accident...ha ha ha ha ha!*
Despite Lens growing boredom with mother hood she introduced her four little girls, all identical and all charming children who had recently reached the grand old age of four. 'Say how do you do to the nice man girls. Dr Qualtrough let me introduce Harriet, Erica, Olivia and Catherine.'
'Oh, what beautiful little girls, i don't know how you tell them apart!' exclaimed Matt, most captured by what he saw. Each of the girls had chesnuty read hair arranged in a pair of plaits, bright green eyes and petite little figures.  
'They are rather aren’t they i just wish i had something else you know, oh not more children - but a job, a life, then i feel i could have more affection for them.' poured out Len, Matt had gone red again at this outburst of feeling so hastily changed the subject.
'Hmm, is your husband here? Did you say he was a doctor.'
'no, then yes. He's abit of a hero my husband, off making house calls to the mountain people.' said Len, none to affectionately.
'Oh, i see.' replied Matt, a little uncomfortable at Lens obvious contempt for her husband, nevertheless the prospect pleased him no end!
They sat in silence for a time but then suddenly Joey burst in, tears streaming down her cheeks, 'Mother, what on earth is the matter?' asked Len standing up, she was used to her mother bursting in in a whirlwind every so often.
'Oh Len, i'm awfully sorry, its Reg, he's, well, he's dead!'
Let's not get this over and done with too quickly, please.
There's an awful lot more we can put in. What about an intervention from OOAOML?
Len asked, with great relish, "Tell me every little detail of how he died! Was he in great pain? Did he suffer terribly?"
'Oh Len i cannot shield you from the truth he died in intense agony, he fell over the edge of a cliff and was impaled by the horn of a mountain goat, he bled to death, Reg i mean, not the goat.' replied Jo, tears glistening in her eyes.
'I see, poor goat.' replied Len, nt in the slightest bit sad. Joey didn't see that though, she called for Jack to administer a sedative thinking her daughter must be indulging in shock.
*laughs* Love the line about the goat...
Wonder where in the wild blue heck this is going to go next...
Ray *taking precautions*
Matt suddenly realised that this was an intensely personal  conversation and murmuring his excuses left to go back and share the glad - sorry sad - news of Reg's passing with the staff at the school.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:20pm
He entered the Staff Room looking suitably miserable. A small dark woman came up to him and flashed him a vivid grin, and he suddenly found himself thinking that she must have been very attractive in her own way twenty (or thirty?!) years before.  
"Matt, is it not?" she enquired. "I am Jeanne de Lachennais. Would you like some coffee?"
Feeling a little dazed, Matt agreed. Mlle, peeking at him through her lashes as she poured the coffee, suddenly twigged that the handsome young Science  master (sorry if I got that wrong) was not looking as enthusiastic as could be expected of a new CS teacher.  
"We all hope that you will enjoy it here. But why are you looking so unhappy, cherie?"
Matt's face grew even longer.  
"I've just been talking to Mrs Maynard and Mrs Entwistle next door. They've had bad news."
Those members of staff who overheard this went white.  
"What was it?" asked Rosalie Dene, who had secretly nursed a crush on Jack Maynard for decades.  
"I'm very sorry to be the bearer of bad news so soon in my career here, but it seems that Dr Entwistle has been killed-"
"Thank God!" exclaimed Rosalie.  
"Not before time too," interjected Nancy Wilmot, head of Maths.
"Good for Len!" applauded Kathie Ferrars, Nancy's second in command. "What did she do to him? I hope it hurt!"
Matt's jaw dropped at this. However he had expected the Staff to react, it was certainly not like this! The cogs in his brain began to whirl...
What on earth had he got himself into? Was this a coven of murderess or what? Only time would tell as they convened for the first staff meeting of term.
So decided, he took up a convenient seat and used his thingy to stir his coffee while Miss Annersley prepared to lead the meeting.
Of course, in doing this, he scandalised the entire rest of the staff, and gave himself a very nasty scald on his "thingy"!  (Which Matey was more than happy to administer to!!)
*Nicole cleans coffee from her keyboard and computer*  
Next door a scandalised Joey Maynard was watching in shock as Len proceeded to cut her hair and bleach it blonde.
"I've always wanted to do this Ma, but at last I'm free to do so! I'm free of all control! Nobody can tell me what to do anymore! Mawahahahahahahaha!"
"But Len darling, just wait for Papa to come and give you a little dose, and then everything will be fine again darling."
"You might like living drugged to the eyeballs, but that's not the way for me! I'm off to staff meeting - I'm sure they would love to have me back teaching once again!" and saying this, Len swung herself out of the open window and sprinted off to the school.
The newly transformed Len seemed to have had a personality transplant. She waltzed into the staff room, interrupting Miss Annersley in the process. That lady raised her brows at her, but Len ignored her completely, not even apologising for her entrance. The Head then found to her dismay that for once neither clapping, tapping, raising her hand, or speaking was sufficient to regain order or the attention of the staff, for they had rose as a collective body and had gone to congratulate Len on both her new look and her recent widowhood..
......with the exception, of course, of Matt and Matey, who were in the school san, while Matey held Matt's thingy under cold running water, to ease the burning from the hot coffee!  
"You are a very lucky young man," said Matey "the burns are only second degree, they could have been a lot worse! Now, I'm going to bandage this up for you, but you'll have to come to me three, no, four times a day so that I can change the dressing for you"
(Matron was pleased with herself for having a reason to handle this gorgeous hunk of manhood four times a day!)
Later that evening, Matt came to Matron's door, complaining of severe pain! She examined his wound and quickly realised it was beyond her capabilities. So she phoned the San and asked them to send a doctor to treat an infected scald.......

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:21pm
......Meanwhile, three miles away, at the San, Dr Daisy Venables was sitting in the doctors' lounge, (wondering why she had only appeared in the first post of the five page thread bearing her name!!) when Matron Graves popped her head 'round the door, to say that there had been a call-out to the Chalet School, and since the other doctors were all busy, would Daisy mind popping along there! Glad of something to do, she grabbed her bag and hopped on her bike...........
Arriving at the school, Daisy was met by a harassed looking Matron. "Oh Daisy, would you mind looking at Matt's thingy for me? He scalded it earlier in the day and despite me buttering it, it seems to have got infected somehow!"
"You buttered his what?" asked Daisy in confusion.
"His thingy, you know, whatchoomacallit, ah, his LEG." replied Matron. Suspicions had been going around for a while, which Matron was totally oblivious of, being such a kindly soul as she was.
"But why on earth did you butter it?"
"Standard first aid remedy in this school Daisy, as you should well remember! Butter a burn and slap a decent piece of steak over a black eye. Oh dear, you've got your head filled with all kinds of new fangled notions haven't you my dear? I knew sending girls to medical school was a mistake. You should have come straight to me after school and I could have taught you all you would need to know to work in a girls school!" replied Matron.
Daisy groaned and rolled her eyes, wondering not for the first time why on earth her aunty Madge seemed happy to fill the school with senile old bats who had never heard of female emancipation. And these were the same women with responsibility for bringing up the next generation of young womanhood!
Making her way towards the san, Daisy was distracted by the sounds of an apparent riot occurring in the staff room. "What on earth - ?" she gasped out.
"Nothing to worry about Daisy - the staff decided to throw an impromptu widowing party for Len. I handed over the medicinal brandy for the occasion. Although they seem to have had liquor stashed in all kinds of unusual places" added Matron with a frown, recalling the sight of Rosalie Dene hauling bottles of vodka from out of the stationery cupboard.
....Of course, the real shock had been when Rosalind Yolland had produced the huge can labelled "turpentine", announcing with a grin "Don't worry, it's really gin! Now, has anyone got any tonic water?"
With a deep sigh, Hilda Annersley gave in to the general rejoicing, and nipped upstairs to fetch her own personal supply of single malt scotch.
'This'll put hairs on our chests,' she said gleefully. 'Now then, before the merriment really commences, I just want to say a few words. Len, my dear, I am so pleased to have you back on the staff here. Once the funeral is over, you must leave the children with your mother, and nip off down to Berne for a dirty weekend.
Incidentally, I've been thinking. What good is a day off? I'm going to re-organise the timetable so that we all get at least two weekends off per term. It's about time we all started to live a little.
Having dealt with Matt's burnt thingy, Daisy popped into the staffroom to join the party! Opening her medical bag, she produced several dozen ampoules of methadone and an equal number of syringes, and passed them round.......
You're letting your bunnies get out of control Vikki!
Just as the party was starting to go with a swing, Jo Bettany arrived, enveloped in a huge shawl. Throwing this garment on to a chair, she declared,
'Hello folks, I've just popped over from my own little shanty for a quick visit. Are you having a staff party?  Oh golloptious. Now, where's the paper. We could have a nice game of  Book Reviews, and then Subject and Object. Len, my lamb, do   you think you ought to be here? It's long past your bed time, Matey will have a few words to say to you, if she catches you.
At this, all Len's pent-up fury erupted.
'Get out of here, you stupid woman. At last I can tell you what I think of you. You ruined my childhood, you ruined my schooldays, you made me marry a man I didn't even like, and now I'm free. Well, since you liked Reg so much, you can take care of the quads. I'm going to be too busy leading the Chalet School Liberation Army to want to bother with them any more.  
Any way, you haven't had a book published for years, you know they won't accept them any more because they're too old-fashioned.'
Joey tried to smooth things over. 'Now then, my lamb, calm down.  I'll just go and phone Pappa and he can come over and give you a nice calming dose of medicine.'
At this, Len leapt at her mother, grabbed her, yanked the pins out of her hair, and seizing a handy pair of scissors, cut off both her plaits.
Waving them in the air, Len yelled, 'The first exhibit for the Liberation Museum.'
She then gave herself a  large tumbler full of Rosalind Yolland's gin and began to dance wildly around the staffroom.
Just as well Matey's not in my house just now - having just read this entire thread from the beginning, she'd probably pack me off the San to recover from hysterics - wonder what her sovereign remedy would be, a smart slap so I bit my tongue, perhaps?
I swear never to log on at work - the Library would never be the same!
I know, but please don't blame me.  

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:21pm
There was a knock on the door, and when I opened it, there were several rabbits outside, who forced their way in, made me sit at the key-board, and type to their dictation.
Are these the plot bunnies that everyone keeps talking about?
Yes, yes they are. And if one of them shows any tendencies towards flying large, noisy helicopters, kick him out forthwith - he's escaped from me. While I'm happy to be rid of him (again) I see no reason to inflict that one on anyone else....
Ray *kindness to very nice people on the CBB**suddenly remembers where she got one of her better jokes from**watches as mind goes off at complete tangent*
Poor, poor Joey, in all the threads she's either an evil witch or a senile old women. Oh well...
Len and the rest of the staff preceded to remove their bras, chop off their plaits and throw them into the fire, the mixture of burning nylon and hair gave off a truly foul smell which sent them running out of the room, leaving the elderly jo behind. The staff brandishing scissors ran round all the dormitories removing bra's and cutting off plaits, ready to burn, they then went to the cookery and sewing rooms and destroyed the contents.
LOL! this really is hysterical. I particularly liked the alcohol in the turps bottle.. they even smell alike, and would probably do the same job in art anyway, so Rosalind Yolland would have an excuse...  
Pat W, I giggled at your thingummy above your pic. It is painfully appropriate!
and everyone concerned will undoubtedly come out weeping buckets, while the staff tell themselves (complacently) that that should be that, and that we'll be the joy of their decling years or something like that!
Hearing all the noise going on downstairs, and the sound of racing footsteps, Matt, who had returned to his room feeling miserable and in great pain from his scalded thingy, decided to go to bed, and hope for a better day on the morrow.
Upon hearing the crashes and bangs from the destruction of the Home Economics rooms, and especially the noise of Frau Mieders kicking all the preserving pans from one end of the Cookery Room to the other, he decided that he would lie on his bed, but would not get undressed and get into it. Before doing this, he slowly pushed the huge chest of drawers in front of the door, and also got out a large coil of rope which he left next to the window in case he needed to escape quickly from the school.  
A he lay down, he reflected that it had been a strange day, especially given the reputation of the Chalet School. Then his thoughts turned to Len Entwhistle. So tragically young to be widowed, she would need help and support, and he doubted whether her mother would be capable of offering any to her. Quite clearly, Joey Maynard was living in the past, and believed that he was a schoolgirl.  
With these thoughts in mind, he dropped off to sleep.
He woke up the next morning feeling exhausted. He'd been having the strangest dreams. He'd seen the most beautiful woman ever be tragically widowed, and then  watched her so called friends throw a celebration party. Matt shook his head to clear his brain. And then hadn't the dignified Headmistress of this prestigious establishment joined her Staff in what could only be described as an orgy of drinking and bra burning? Quite definitely a bizarre dream, induced by the pain of the wound in his thingy.  
He stretched and got out of bed just as his bedroom door flew open to reveal..
The shrew-like woman who was his landlady, who was in a fine temper.
"Och, you with yer screaming and yelling!" she exclaimed. "Ye've kept all ma guests awake all night!"
*ray runs and hides before the assorted Scots on the CBB lynch her for the stereotype accent*
...Karen the cook wearing little more than a suggestive look upon her face.
Groaning Matt rolled over and faced the wall. Why on earth had he accepted this post? He knew he should have gone to that nice Malory Towers down in Cornwall!
He decided there and then that he would apply for a position at Trebizon. As far as he knew, not a single member of staff there had ever shown the slightest trace of insanity, and he'd be able to live off-premises in a nice little flat.
At that moment, he was distracted by Len Entwhistle who arrived carrying a breakfast tray for him.
She sat on the side of his bed and smiled demurely.
'I'm sorry our conversation was interrupted yesterday. Mamma does make such a fuss over trivial things. I'm coming back to teach Modern Languages on the staff here, just as soon as the funeral is over. Oh, don't look so surprised, we were educated to be strong women, not spineless jellyfish.
Mamma can look after the children for me. I know that Anna has retired, and Rosli got married and left as soon as her own family came along, but really, Mamma is always boasting about how she brought up her own long family, so she won't have any problems about bringing up the quads.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:23pm
The real reason that I came to see you was to ask if you would like to come to Berne with me today. I'll borrow the school car, and we can drive down. I need to go to the hairdresser's and to buy some new clothes. It's about time that I had something a little more up to date to wear. Reg was such a drag, he liked me to dress modestly. Don't worry about your classes, the girls are being turfed out for the day while the timetable and curriculum are being revamped. We've decided to bring the school up to date.  
At that moment, Daisy Venables entered his room.
'He's not going anywhere until I've given him a thorough examination.'
Len looked at her cousin, and said nothing, until she saw the gleam in Daisy's eye.
Then she said, 'Daisy dear, you know you've been booked for that new doctor at the San, so run along and don't get in my way. Wome's Lib may have  arrived at the Chalet School, but it hasn't been heard of at the San, so you'd better go and start your own revolution, and not muscle in on mine.
Forgot to mention that I'm logging off now, as my son will soon be home and wanting his computer.
I'll be back tomorrow to see what you've all added, and I hope I'll be able to sit and laugh until the tears roll down my face.
I'm having a really good time.
Please, someone, how do I get one of the nice little sayings at the bottom of my postings?
Matt decided that he would drive down to Berne with Len, it would give him the chance to book a ticket home. With any luck, he would be able to escape from her, and then he would abandon all his possessions, and make for the UK.  
It was not that he did not fel attracted to Len, more that he felt that he had been landed in the middle of a madhouse, and he was not sure that he could cope.
Meanwhile, Daisy had gone stamping off to the San to begin her day's work.
Oh no. he can't leave yet! And i want to know more about this revised curriculum- SEX ED maybe? Given by the Abbess?!
On arriving at Berne Matt had become so overtaken by Len's passion and beauty that he forgot his ideas to return to the real world and trebizon and he willingly followed her around.
Back at the school, Matt still unable to remove his eyes from Len they all heard the new curriculum, uniform and rules, layed out by the head teacher,
'Ahh, i'm glad your all here. It's time this establishment was brought up to date, it hasn't changed since the early 1930's.' began the head, Matt still drooling (literally) over Len.
'headmistress' you mean! Head teacher is another eg of PC. I don't like it myself, whereas I've always rather liked the sound of headmistress/ master! Which may explain why I'm nitpicking...
"Anyway," said the Head "where was I? Oh yes! the new curriculum. Now, for a start, we have decided that the girls really ought to know a little more about their own bodies. They will be having lessons them about menstruation, sexual congress and pregnancy. I came across a rather good series of video cassettes which describe things in quite a bit of detail. Just the thing for schoolgirls' enquiring minds!"
"Then we have the uniform, this will now be a gentian blue miniskirt (which may not be worn longer than seven inches above the knee), and a V necked white blouse, with the front tied in a knot to expose their belly buttons, which will all be pierced. Every girl will be issued with a belly button ring containing a fake jewel, the colour of which will indicate which house she is a member of. We feel that this uniform will be attractive and should prove popular with the girls. Now, does anyone have any questions?"

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:24pm
'What about make-up?' asked Kathy Ferrars. 'Surely they'll need lessons in the correct application of  eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick?'
'Their shoes.' said Nancy Wilmot. 'They won't want to wear lace - ups any more.'
'Will we still be taking them for rambles on Sundays?, queried Miss Charlesworth.
Miss Annersley smiled at them all. "In future, Sunday's will be given over to recovering from hangovers. Anyone who wishes to give instructions in the correct manner of being sick as a dog in the toilets is most welcome. I however, will be spending Sundays in attempting to smuggle my latest lovers out of the school without any of the girls noticing."
"I was wondering," said Nancy Wilmot "what about boys? Surely if they're going to develop properly into well rounded very *friendly* persons (sorry, I mean women), then they need boys to flirt with, and to practice snogging with!"
"Oh, that's all been organised," said the Head "we've found a good boys school, down in Interlaken, and the boys will be bussed up here every third weekend. On the other weekends, our girls will go down to the boys school on one weekend, and then the third weekend our girls stay here and the boys stay at their school. After all, it won't do them any good to spend EVERY weekend together. This will also facilitate our weekends off of course! Oh, and you'll be interested to know that some of the masters at the school are rather yummy!?!"
Fast and furious the discussion flew around the room, each mistress determined to put in their tuppence worth.
"I'm throwing out this old piano and sheet music" cried Miss Lawrence, "it's time we got a proper sound system so the girls are prepared for clubbing and raves"
"No more still life pictures" grinned Miss Yolland "I'm going to take my art classes down to Innsbruck College where they have nude models"
"I'm going to throw out all the English set texts and bring in some racier books .... and revamp the library!"
"I'm going to .."
In their excitement the staff were all shouting at once and none of them listening until a frantic knocking on a desk by Miss Annersley called them all to order.
Meanwhile, back at the San.
Daisy Venables had stamped out of the Chalet School feeling thoroughly irate. Having been thwarted in her attempts to acquire the luscious Matt as her own chosen companion, she strode back to Freudesheim to discover that Jack Maynard had left his car keys in the ignition. She backed the car out of the drive and hurtled off towards the San, with Jack running desperately behind, waving and shouting at her to stop.
When she arrived at the San, she marched smartly into the entrance hall, where she discovered Dr. Peters talking to a young man wearing a white coat , with a stethoscope round his neck.
'Daisy, I want you to meet our newest recruit, Dr Jamieson. Daisy is helping us out here at the San.'
'That's Dr. Venables to you both, and I'm not helping out as you put it, I'm here to practise medicine. Now, if you'll both get out of my way, I'm off to see my patients.'
With that, she stormed off to the wards, where she discovered that her orders for anti-biotics had been countermanded.
After obtaining the necessary information from the nurses,
she walked determinedly to Matron's Office.
There, she made it plain to the astounded woman that  when she prescribed treatments, those treatments were to be administered, and the nurses were not to ask for second opinions.
Feeling thoroughly energised by this, she then accosted Neil Shephard, and informed him that it was high time that he undertook a prolonged period of retraining in modern methods, including antibiotics.
With a glow of satisfaction at having kicked so much a-s-s, Daisy returned to her patients, and then went to her office to brood over her next step.
sitting in her office she grew more and more sure that she wanted the Dr Qualtrough as her lover but she was worried by the very wholesome attitude of the school, how on earth was she to have a relationship in a school that had such archaic rules. She obviously hadn't banked on the new developments that were going on at the school, the library was being filled with copies of Mills and Boon, the girls were hitching up their skirts, tying up their blouses and being fitted with piercings. A teacher called Denise Doreen Feild had began to round up the heavily obese children and was planning to put them all on the Atkins diet so that they might have equal numbers of sexual partners as their contempories, after all the school was very keen on confidence building.  
Daisy of course new nothing of this when she set out for the school, planning to do a measles check. When she got their she saw three 15 year olds dressed in their new attire and naturally thought it was the middles latest.
'Young Ladies, i don't believe it Georgina Maynard, what are you wearing?'
'Our new uniform Daisy!' replied the daughter of Charles Maynard blowing a large bubble gum bubble.

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:25pm
Daisy frowned, then smiled, they were telling the truth, that meant she could get her Matt!
Matey greeted Daisy warmly, keen to hear all about her experiences at the San before beginning the measles check. She still half suspected that Daisy method's were a little modern in their approach but she had been a capable Games Prefect in her time and Matey had every faith in her. As it happened, the latest approaches being adopted by the school were even having an effect on the small wiry lady in her her trig uniform and she was secretly pleased when Daisy recounted a story of one-upmanship over Reg Entwistle.
"He was unbearable Matey, really" she explained. "This poor man had travelled all the way from England with suspected TB but I just knew his symptoms weren't presenting as TB so I told Reg so ..."
"In no uncertain terms, I'm sure" smiled Matey, who knew her Daisy. "What was it?"
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" replied Dr Venables authoritatively and then tok pity on Matey who was trying but failing to show her puzzlement. "It's a disease that miners get that affects their lungs. If Dr Entwistle had stopped to find out about the patient and his background then he would have made the right diagnosis"
'Well, i dare say we may no longer fear Regs incompetance, you are here to do a check for measles i hear.' said Matron, getting down to business in the brisk way that was hers.
'Yes and no matron, i am also gpoing to give them all a number of vaccinations, TB, smallpox and measles.'
Just thought I'd let all of you know that i've read this drabble in one go and am now crying with laughter! The episode when Matt dips his thingy into the coffee was hysterical - bet the censor didn't bank on that! Please keep going. By the way I've just had a small rabbit ambush me - He says that Matt's gay and about to have an affair with Jack!
I've read this thread and it is the funniest thing Ive seen in years. I especially loved the idea of girls wearing belly button jewels to match their house colours, and of Miss Annersley's lovers sneaking out of the school first thing in the mornings. Could we have a big shock where Miss Annersley gives into years and years of feeling unfufilled and gets it on with Matt. What would The Chalet School Trust blah blah blah do if Miss Annersley got pregnant, imagine the shock!!!
Im imagining that seeing her eyes have never needed glasses...then she can still produce eggs (funny logic there, I did do A-level biology and my manageress is 58 and still has periods) The menopause idea is brill, Miss A would miss periods and not worry cos shed imagine that its only the menopause and perfectly natural, she would have a concealed pregnancy and shock the entire school one day during assembly by giving birth...
Emma getting mildly carried away...
Matron summoned all the girls to her in batches of tens in order for Daisy to administer all the vaccinations she had thought of (including Rubella for all those aged thirteen and over, along with a talk about the benefits of vaccination for babies)
Several of the girls were stunned and not very happy with the latest developments the school was experiencing, but Matron summoned the prefects, recognisable by their funky eyebrow piercings, and sent off those girls to have a talk.
The prefects sat the younger girls round in a circle. "What's the problem?" they asked. One of the younger girls, Photophynia Smith, looked up at the face of the Head Girl.
"I don't know that mummy will like everything that's been happening here lately," she said. "She sent me here on purpose to keep me away from girls like we're now becoming. I quite liked our old uniform and curriculum!"
"Oh grow up!" replied the Head Girl (name anyone??) "It's about time this mouldy school moved into the twentieth century - maybe then it'll be able to catch up on the twenty first at some point!"
While this conversation was developing into a heated "discussion", Matt was wandering around the school, looking for something to do. Miss Annersley had declared all lessons to be in abeyance until she had time to revamp the curriculum and time-table, and this was unlikely to take place any time soon as she was currently lying drunk under a table in Speisesaal. Again. Hearing the sound of raised voices, he entered the prefects room and found the girls at each others throats and tearing chunks of hair fromeach other. With a groan, he left the room and ran smack into Daisy.
"Well, hello big boy!" said Daisy with a flirtatious smile. "And how are you today?"
Matt recognised the signs and tried to run, but Daisy had wrapped herself around him and as he tried to run, he tripped and landed on the floor with Daisy lying on top of him, just as Len walked around the corner . . .

Title: Re: Dr Venables...
Post by Emma_N on Aug 29th, 2003, 10:25pm
OK, here;s my take on a plot development.
We go along with the suggestions re Miss A (rather sacrilegious, isn't it,. but never mind!) and Matt. You can make him gay too if you;re that desperate to muddy waters.  
I thought that we could make Matt something of a chauvinist who hates women's lib and anything to do with it, and was attracted to the CS because of it's old fashioned style. He's horrified by what's going on, and bei