The CBB :: View topic - Robin Decides

#1: Robin Decides Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 2:53 pm

This idea has been floating around in my head for a while. What is here is all there is at the moment. It might grow or it might not. Let me know what you think.

Ruth x
___________

Soeur Marie-Cecile knelt before the altar in the small Lady Chapel at La Sagasse, Toronto. Tears were streaming silently down her pale delicate face, made even more so by the dark curls just visible around the edge of her white novice’s habit.

Usually, Soeur Marie-Cecile, or Robin Humphires as she had been known before entering the convent, reveled in the peace of the chapel and often found that being there led to a natural stillness within. Not so today however. Her mind was still reeling from the interview with Reverend Mother just half an hour ago. An interview that had thrown everything she believed about herself and her vocation into question.

She gazed up at the crucifix above the altar portraying the dying Christ. Silently she pleaded him to help her even as she drew out her rosary and started muttering the old familiar words

“Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.”

At first she stumbled, breaking down in tears again at every other word. However slowly, as she moved through the beads – a present from her beloved adopted sister Joey, at her clothing just over 2 years ago - the familiarity of the liturgy began to have a soothing effect.

Remaining on her knees before the altar, she reflected on the journey that had brought her to this place 3 years ago.

#2: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 2:55 pm

What a start! I'm hooked already!

*wonders if she can get away with chanting for more just minutes after the first part has been posted!*

#3: Author: Charlotte, Location: Casterton, Kirkby Lonsdale

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:05 pm

It's NEVER to soon for chanting!! Very Happy

More Please!

#4: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:26 pm

Ooooh!!!
*intrigued*
More soon please!

#5: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:28 pm

*joins the chant*

This is looking good!

#6: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:32 pm

Adds to the chant - tone deaf and loud which should encourage more drabble VERY soon Twisted Evil

#7: Author: Marianne, Location: Lancaster

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:36 pm

wow, fantastic
MORE please!! Very Happy

#8: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:43 pm

Intrigued...

Please let it grow, Ruth. This looks good.

MORE Trumpet

#9: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 4:11 pm

Totally intrigued - *CHANTS LOUDLY*

#10: Author: Lula, Location: Midlands, UK

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 5:02 pm

Oooh... intriguing...

#11: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 5:03 pm

*Adding to chant - this looks excellent!*

#12: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 5:25 pm

Hope this grows as y0ou have us hooked. I have always felt that there had to be more to Robin somehow.

#13: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 6:53 pm

When are you going to post the next bit? Soon I hope!! You can't leave it there.

#14: Author: Shander, Location: Canada

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 6:57 pm

More Soon Please! More Soon Please! More Soon Please!
I'm hooked.

#15: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 7:01 pm

Very very intrigued - I hope theres more soon

#16: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 10:23 pm

I guess you all like it then? Thanks for the compliments and chants! Am typing up what I wrote on the coach on the way home, but you're unlikely to get more tonight as my internet connection at home is VERY slow. Tomorrow though at some point - not necessarily the morning, but at somepoint. The whole thing just keeps going in different directions and I can't decide which to pick!

#17: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 11:44 pm

And I thought you'd posted more

wibbles bottom lip and decides to be brave until later today

#18: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 12:14 am

Glad to see you have written more - I'm intrigued already.

#19: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 8:51 am

This is intriguing, so please do continue with it.

#20: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 10:23 am

*waiting on tenterhooks to find out what it is that Robin has decided.*

I'm glad you decided to write more. One usually does when a beginning is posted on here Razz

#21: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 12:25 pm

Ok, peeps, here's the next bit. I have a horrible feeling this is going to be a lot longer than expected! I'll post as often as I can, but work seem to have woken up to the fact that they hired me and are starting to pile the work on. Plus, I have to find somewhere to live in London in the next couple of months, so all in all, life is pretty busy. But here you go..

_____

In order to make sense of her current dilemma, she must go right back to the beginning…

In many senses, she had led a very sheltered existence so far. That was not to say it was uneventful. She had experienced more adventures, near death experiences and traumas in her 30 or so years than most women twice her age. Yet she had always landed on her feet. Impossible situations had miraculously resolved themselves, she had always been surrounded with love, and of course she had always had her deeply rooted Catholic faith to fall back upon. Despite her current situation as a nun, the naivety of her young faith sometimes made her blush. Yet it was that which had kept her going, that which had been central to everything. It was that that was called into question by this afternoon’s interview.

Both her parents had been devout Catholics. Her mother had begun to teach her the catechism from the time she could talk. Her father had, controversially, converted to Catholicism on marrying her mother. His family had been furious both at the marriage to the Polish girl he adored and at the conversion. They had disowned them both. Robin wondered if he would have made such a stand if he had known his happiness was to be so short lived, for her mother had died of TB when Robin was only six years old. Even at such a young age, she had taken comfort in the reassurances that her father had given; that her mother was with God and no longer suffering. She had accepted this with all the sincerity her baby faith could muster. And of course she still had her father; now more than ever before, he was everything to her. Then he was posted to Russia. For the first time in her life, the Robin felt completely abandoned, and completely alone.

It was purely by chance that they had bumped into Madge Bettany that day in Innsbruck. Robin had never asked her father what would have happened had they not. It did not seem to matter now, but occasionally it did prey on her mind. Madge was the ward of one of her father’s oldest friends and she had agreed to look after Robin while her father was away. As Madge took her in her arms and buried her face in the Robin’s dark curls, kissing the top of her head as she did so, Robin knew that she would never be alone again. She felt safe again.

The bell for Vespers interrupted this happy memory. Accustomed as she was to obeying the rule of community life, Robin stood up, bowed low towards the altar and took her place with the other sisters in the main chapel. Regardless of the turmoil within, it was time to perform the duty she had undertaken to place above all others. It was time for prayer.

#22: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 12:40 pm

A lovely cliff-hanger, Ruth. I hope there will be more soon.

#23: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 3:37 pm

And a bit more. More details about the decision in the next post................
maybe. Wink

Performing the daily office with the other sisters had completed the work her time in the chapel had begun. She began to feel at peace again. It was true that her red eyes instantly gave away the fact that she had been crying and more than one of the other novices glanced at her questioningly on the way through the cloister to the refectory. However, in common with most orders, the sisters at La Sagasse ate their meals in silence, so she was spared interrogation. This left her free to continue her introspection. In her distress, she was unable to order her thoughts – they leapt from one part of her life to another. She longed for Greater Silence, which would begin following Compline in a couple of hours. The community did not observe night office, for which she was profoundly grateful. It was not that she was lazy, but the long hours of solitude in her cell were an oasis, tonight of all nights. Besides, she had always had it drilled into her how important a good sleep pattern was to her health.

Her father, Madge, Joey and Madge’s husband Jem had always been terrified that Robin would succumb to the same disease that had killed her mother. And below the serenity and unquestioning obedience that she was famed for, Robin was terrified too. Her mother’s last days were etched on her memory. The pale drawn face, the rasping breath, the endless coughing. The thought of going through that filled Robin with dread. She never told anyone. Everyday, she was surrounded by TB sufferers bravely overcoming their affliction. It seemed weak to be so scared of what might be. So she had kept her fears to herself and submitted to the Doctor’s regime willingly, never even confiding in Joey how scared she felt.

She clearly remembered the summer when they all thought she had indeed succumbed to the dread disease. Joey had come home for half term and a strained atmosphere had hung over the house. They all thought she was too young to notice, that they were sheltering her. However the Robin had known exactly what was going on, and she never missed a look.

It was during that summer that her faith had really begun to grow. It had coincided with her preparation for first communion, which had taken place the following autumn. As she worked through her classes with the priest, the shadow hanging over her had brought new meaning to the passages she had so taken for granted before. Robin was a conscientious little soul and she knew that she could not allow herself to go through with the ceremony unless she truly believed in the God she had been taught about since babyhood. That meant trusting God with her life and allowing her to take it if that was his will. She had come to that realization during that half term holiday. She had woken early in the room she was sharing with her friend Irma and as she lay there reflecting on the events of the last few weeks, she prayed silently.
“God I trust you with my life. I trust that if you take my life, you will look after Papa, Joey and all the people I love. Yet if you choose to let me live, I promise to serve you in any way you ask me to”

She was not bargaining with God, merely making her first ever vow of obedience. As she did so, she felt that now familiar wave of peace come over her, as she knew that all would be well. As she once again lay awake, this time in her tiny cell in the convent Robin realized that that was the moment when the journey had begun. She turned over and fell asleep, murmuring as she did so,

“All will be well, and all will be well and all manner of things will be well”

#24: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 3:39 pm

I'm so impressed with the way that you wrote that, Ruth.

#25: Author: Lula, Location: Midlands, UK

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 3:40 pm

That's... there are no words. I'm trying to say that it was good, but it was more than good, and I'm not quite sure what word I'm looking for. Amazing will suffice for now.

Well done.

#26: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 3:54 pm

This is fantastic, and after all the Robin bashing we've had (carving knives et al) it's lovely to see her from a different perspective. More please, and soon!

#27: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 4:35 pm

Wow! May we have some more please Ruth?

#28: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 4:44 pm

"Wow!" indeed Vikki.

You've done a lot of thinking about this, haven't you. I never thought of Robin wondering later what would have happened if Madge hadn't taken her in. I also never really thought that she would be aware of the tensions when she was thought to have TB, though I know I was aware of my parents' worries at the same age and, likewise, didn't let them know.

This is really deep and shows Robin as much more mature than she appears in the early books.

this is really good and has gone on my 'must read' list Razz

#29: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 4:47 pm

This is superb, its so interesting to see some more depth to Robin, and the fact she understood what was happening to her when so young.

#30: Author: LadyGuinevere, Location: Leicester

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 5:19 pm

wow... this is absolutely beautiful.

~LadyG

#31: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 6:05 pm

Wow... and whilst destroying the atmosphere terribly here, you seem to know a lot about convents!

I never like Robin at all, but now she seems a lot realler, somehow!

ETA: I don't think realler is a word... alas! Oh well...

#32: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 7:49 pm

This is so sensitively drawn - thank you Ruth.

#33: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 7:53 pm

*g* Knowledge of convents and monasteries is easily gained. All you need to do is read 'In this house of Brede' half a dozen times.... only of course that was contemplative and Benedictine, whereas La Sagesse are teaching... Or there's 'The Nun's Story.'
*mind boggling at the thought of trying to observe Great Silence and teach the next day*

#34: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 9:51 pm

I'm really touched that you like this! Most of my writing attempts never get this far. It seems to be writing itself at the moment so I'm not sure how much credit I can take.

I've stayed in a couple of Anglican convents and read some non fiction stuff. I'm sure the nuns I know would pick holes in my detail, but I'm doing my best! I also know they'd hit the roof if they got compared to Audrey Hepburn one more time!!(The Nun's story for those who don't know)

As for greater silence - it definitely has its advantages. In the convent I recently stayed in (in Whitby) the sisters got up at 6 and greater silence didn't end until about 8.45 - after breakfast. Wish I could get away with not having to talk to anyone until I'd been awake nearly three hours and had several cups of tea!!!!

Anyway, next bit is in the post below. I'm writing this on the coach to and from Oxford at the moment so if I start to make mistakes, its because the infamous plot bunnies are depriving me of my usual couple of hours dozing during the commute!!!!!

#35: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 9:54 pm

When she had answered Reverend Mother’s summons the previous afternoon, she had been fairly confident of the reason for it. She knew that a couple of her contemporaries had been told that they had been accepted by the community and were to take their first profession. Robin assumed that she would be told the same. Of course not everyone stayed. Soeur Marie-Claire had left only the previous week, however that was no great surprise, as she had never really settled into life within the community. She had talked of finding a teaching post in a secular school. It had therefore been a massive shock yesterday when Reverend Mother and the Novice Mistress had told her that they felt she was not ready for first profession. They had not really explained to her why they felt this was the case, rightly judging that she was too upset to take it in. They had gently explained to her that they were not sending her home (“wherever that is!” thought the Robin in an uncharacteristic and distinctly un-nunlike display of bitterness.), they were merely suggesting that she delay for six months in order to test her vocation further. They had then sent her on her way and she had made a beeline for the chapel.

And now she stood outside Reverend Mother’s study once more. Trying to preserve the inner peace that she had managed to maintain all morning, she straightened her veil, smoothed her habit, took a deep breath and knocked on the door, feeling very much like she was a schoolgirl back at the Chalet School standing outside Miss Annersley’s study.

#36: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 9:55 pm

Definitely agree that Robin seems 'realler'.
Hoping to see more as soon as time allows.

#37: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 9:59 pm

powerful stuff - lots to RObin in this.

#38: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 10:20 pm

Long may your plot bunnies deprive you of sleep if you produce stuff like this! Laughing

#39: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 10:00 am

Wow amazing stuff, and I love the way she feels like a schoolgirl again.

#40: Author: Lula, Location: Midlands, UK

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 10:02 am

I really like this, it's lovely.

#41: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 11:28 am

I love this. I think you have developed Robin very realisticaly.

#42: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 12:17 pm

I think the keyword here is 'developed'. After all, EBD kept her as a sheltered child for so long, and then she was a helpful young woman, but we never really saw inside her, did we?

#43: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 12:55 pm

It's nice to see Robin as an actual person for once rather than a sort of doll which she seems to be for a lot of the books.

I thought Robin's realisation that despite all her adventures she was actually very naive still was very accurate. The CS girls go through a lot but almost always everything turns out perfectly with no lasting damage.

Looking forward to more!

#44: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 7:13 pm

I have to second what everybody else has said, this is a wonderfully well-written story, which really fleshes out Robin's character.
I'm loving the glimpses into convent life as well.

Star Wars

#45: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2004 9:19 pm

This is wonderful - just caught up with it all in one go.

Please please carry on - I look forward to reading lots more.

#46: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 1:20 am

*Waits impatiently for Reverend Mother's explanation*
(not behind closed doors, I trust....)

#47: Author: Annie,

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 9:50 am

*sob sob*
This is absoloutely brilliant. Can't wait to see what Reverend Mother has to say!
More please a.s.a.p. Very Happy

#48: Author: Frances, Location: Milton Keynes

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 2:00 pm

OOOH! I hoped there would be more. I think this is wonderful so far - I always thought EBD didn't know what to do with Robin when she outgrew the "angel-child-hovering-at-deaths-door" stage. She just seemed to bundle her offstage as fast as possible. You're doing a great job of giving Robin a real character.

As I'm new I'll behave like a proper new CS girl and "sing small" to start with, so please may we have some more piano

#49: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 3:43 pm

You'll soon learn to shout as loudly as the rest of us, Frances.

#50: Author: Frances, Location: Milton Keynes

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 6:23 pm

Quick learner here ...MORE ...NOW...please

*whimpers* pretty please

Sad, isn't it. Haven't been here 24 hours and I'm begging!

#51: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 7:34 pm

Frances wrote:

Sad, isn't it. Haven't been here 24 hours and I'm begging!

*Joins the begging line* this is really good.

#52: Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 9:00 am

Ruth, this is absolutely fascinating. I can't wait to read more.

#53: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 2:51 pm

*Joins the line of people asking for more*

Pretty please.... I'm enjoying this one. 'tis very good. Very Happy

JackieJ

#54: Author: Elisabeth,

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 3:57 pm

This is really exquisite Ruth.

#55: Author: ali, Location: medway, kent

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 7:40 pm

I always felt it was a shame the way Robin was never a real character, only Joeys doll. You've brought her to life in this story. I can't wait for the next bit, why isn't she ready? I need to know>

#56: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 9:44 pm

Glad you are all enjoying this so much. Robin is really developing herself. All I did was let her out of the box! Here's the next installment...

“Entrez!” called the voice from within. Reverend Mother’s voice had that same reaching quality as Miss Annersley’s Robin reflected. She had never once heard her raise her voice.

Robin entered the study and made her reverence.

“Bonjour, my child” said Reverend Mother in greeting. “How did you sleep?

“Very well thank you Mother” replied Robin. “At least,” she added, “I did once I fell asleep”

Mother Marie-Jeanne smiled and nodded.

“I understand my child,” she said. “Please, sit down”

Robin perched herself nervously on the edge of the chair next to her, which promptly slid out from underneath her, depositing Robin in an undignified heap on the floor. Red and embarrassed, she picked herself up and reseated herself more firmly on the chair.

“For goodness sake, you’re a grown woman!” She told herself crossly. “Stop behaving like a silly schoolgirl!”

Mother Marie-Jeanne appeared engrossed in some paperwork whilst this was going on, however as soon as Robin appeared to have recovered from her exploits, she startled her out of her self-denigration.

“I think it is correct that you did Social Work before you joined us. Tell me, how did you find that?”

Robin was brought out of herself with a jolt. Even so, her eyes lit up automatically.

“I loved it!” she replied enthusiastically. “I finally felt as if I was making a difference in the world. Of course we had knitted for the children of Innsbruck whilst at school and then again during the war; and we were always fundraising for the San. But with my work in the estates, I finally felt as if I was doing something practical. I think it was the best year of my life!”

Realising suddenly how this had sounded, Robin suddenly stopped and turned red once again. “Err that’s not to say…what I meat was….”

Reverend mother held up her hand to silence her.

“Its alright my child. I wish you to be honest with me,” she said reassuringly. “Tell me, if you found the work so fulfilling, then why did you give it up?”

Robin’s face clouded over. “My health” she replied sadly. “I was working in Central London and the smog affected my lungs. When Madge and Jem – my Guardian’s you know – discovered how ill I was, they insisted I leave London and join them here in Canada. I was really too ill to argue, so I came.”

“But why London?” asked Reverend Mother. “It seems like the last place someone with your medical history should have been!”

Robin glanced down, slightly unsure how to express herself. Then, remembering Reverend Mother’s plea that she be completely honest, she raised her eyes and looked her senior directly in the eyes.

“I wanted to be somewhere completely different,” she replied. “Somewhere far away from my childhood experiences. I wanted to prove that I could do some good in the world and that I could do it independently! I’ve always been so protected! People have always tried to protect me from the world! I wanted to see it at its worst! But in the end I failed. I couldn’t cope. Just like I’ve failed here!” At this, she nearly broke down in tears.

The elderly, kindly nun leant forward across the desk. “ My child, you have not failed here at La Sagasse,” she said gently. “We just feel that you should be absolutely certain of your calling, before you make any further commitment.”

“But how do I do that?” asked Robin desperately. “I have no where to go except back to my guardians or to my adopted Sister Joey. I love them dearly, but all they know is the school and the Sanatorium. It is such an insular experience. I don’t think I can learn anything new about myself or about my calling in that environment.

Reverend Mother wondered inwardly to herself how someone so sheltered had become so insightful even as she shook her head. “I am not planning on sending you back to you family” she replied. At this she picked up a letter that was lying on her desk. “I have had a letter from a priest who looks after a parish on the outskirts of Toronto,” she said. “The parish is a large one and the Father Andre has little help. He asks me for my advice and whether I can recommend anyone who may be able to help him”

Mother Marie-Jeanne looked at Robin keenly.

“I intend to send you to assist him for six months. You will be doing him a great service. The parish is on the outskirts of the city, so I am not concerned that your health will suffer. I think you will be of great value to the parish, and it will give you some time away from the convent to consider your next steps. If, after six months, you still feel it is right that you should remain with us, then you may make your first profession.”

Robin’s head was spinning. She was being sent away from the convent! Part of her felt like she was being punished; however she could not deny the excitement she felt at being involved in a parish again. She missed the daily contact with ordinary people and the chance to get involved in their lives, from birth to death. She looked Reverend Mother directly in the eye and asked simply,

“When do I leave?”

#57: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 10:03 pm

I'm glad Robin's getting to do something that means so much to her. I hope she shows them that she can do it.

Star Wars

#58: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 11:49 pm

How lovely that Robin is getting to find her true calling and that Reverend Mother has such insight. I did wonder when I first read about her vocation if she was taking it, at least partly, as a way of avoiding marriage as they thought TB was hereditary and also that she might be too delicate to have children - though how someone that delicate could cope with the rigours of convent life I can't imagine!

I also don't think EBD could see beyond teaching as a suitable occupation for a central character who didn't marry Surprised

#59: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 9:05 am

It's great to see that Robin is thinking for herself, and that Reverend Mother is being so understanding.

#60: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 9:36 am

Lovely idea, are we to see Robin through those six months?

#61: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 12:58 pm

You will, although given that posting is such a pain at the moment, I'll concentrate on writing and post more when everything is fixed.

#62: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 2:25 pm

What a wonderful idea for Robin, and it great to hear how much she enjoyed the settlement work. I hope we see her through these 6 months too.

#63: Author: Frances, Location: Milton Keynes

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 3:48 pm

Ruth B wrote:

“I wanted to be somewhere completely different,” she replied. “Somewhere far away from my childhood experiences. I wanted to prove that I could do some good in the world and that I could do it independently! I’ve always been so protected! People have always tried to protect me from the world! I wanted to see it at its worst! "

Thank you Ruth - I thought this part was wonderful, and I don't think I'll ever 'read' Robin in the same way again. When I read several of the books with Robin, I was always afraid I'd come across a new one where EBD had turned Robin into Beth from "Little Women" - lying on a sofa all day and bearing her suffering nobly Rolling Eyes

You're really creating something to add to the personality Robin was never allowed to have in the books.

Looking forward to seeing Robin through the next six months, but hope we continue to see more of her childhood from her POV.

#64: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 3:49 pm

This is great Ruth B - as everyone says, a fascinating insght into Robin and nice to see her as her own person rather than an appendage of Joey ..

#65: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 7:21 pm

Thank you for this Ruth - really enjoying Robin as an adult, and that she recognises just how insular her life had been!

#66: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 7:22 pm

Absolutely blinkin' wonderful.

#67: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 7:34 pm

Very satisfying and very believable. I do like this Robin!

#68: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 9:37 pm

I like this Robin too - it wasn't as much of a shock when she entered the order as when Margot announced her intention to do the same, but even EBD's Robin was good with people and it did seem a bit odd tyhat she should choose to renounce the world as she did, although she did have her pupils I suppose.

#69: Author: Elisabeth,

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 9:14 am

Still spectacular. I actually always liked Robin but agree she was too much like a doll. Love seeing her as a real person.

#70: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 3:01 pm

I think Robin's vocation is a true one, but I always saw Margot's decision as EBD not knowing what else to do with her!

#71: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:49 am

Have just found this and read all 4 pages of it.

All I can say is wow. It is wonderful, you make Robin come alive in a way she wasn't allowed to in the books. Feel really sorry for her that her vocation is in question. Maybe her vocation is right but she is in the wrong order - she maybe needs to be a nun working out in a parish.

It was good as others have said to see that she realised as a child what they feared for her, and that she was scared. Have very vivid memories of knowing thing were going on in the family but being considered 'too young' to understand.

#72: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:59 am

Look forward to seeing more of this soon, Ruth!

#73: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 12:26 pm

I'm loving this Ruth and looking froward very much to more when you can Smile

#74: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:19 pm

Ruth, the Board's fixed now!

#75: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:22 pm

Jennie wrote:

Ruth, the Board's fixed now!

So it is

Wasn't too sure about this bit and was going to rewrite it, but I'll post it anyway and you can all tell me what you think! Nothing planned for the weekend, so hopefully lots of time for drabble writing!
--------

As she left Reverend Mother’s study in order to pack (a car was coming for her that afternoon) she passed the pigeonholes where the sister’s mail was distributed. She paused to check her own and her face lit up as she saw there was a letter there. She picked it up – it had a Canadian postmark. She turned it over and saw to her delight that it was from Bette di Bersetti.

Bette had also been at the Chalet School, although she was a great deal older than Robin. After she left school she had married one of the doctors up on the Sonnalpe.

The two girls had not been close at school however tragedy had brought them together. Robin’s father and Bette’s husband had both been killed in a climbing accident when Robin was only fourteen, thus depriving her of her last remaining blood relative. Robin and Bette shared bitterness and grief and could understand each other’s pain in a way that no one else in the Sonnalpe community could.

To the Austrian’s, climbing accidents were a way of life. They had a healthy respect for the mountains and their danger and accepted that fatalities could occur. Madge and Joey had of course been comforting, but they did not really understand. Joey had been a baby when her own parents died and she hardly remembered them. Madge, though she had been older had forgotten how raw the feelings of grief and loss could be. Besides, they had always had each other. Robin loved the Russell/Bettany clan with all her heart, but it was not the same. Even now, over 15 years later, she missed her father desperately. She took comfort now from the fact that her parents were together, but at first that had tormented her. If it was God’s will that her parents be together, why could they not be here on earth? Why did he take them both from her so early?

Bette had understood how she felt. She had not been married long and was expecting her first child. She did not know how she was going to cope. At first all the two of them talked of was their loss, but gradually the friendship deepened. They had of course lost touch during the war, but now Bette was in Canada they were regular correspondents.

Robin tucked the letter in to her pocket. She would save it to read in the car. She had to pack for her next adventure. She also had to write to the Russell’s and the Maynard’s and tell them of her plans. She was not looking forward to it

#76: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:27 pm

I can see how that bit fits in. It makes Robin even more of a rounded character. Because EBD glossed over it talking about the Robin's obedience, we might have forgotten that she would have felt it deeply, and perhaps hid her sense of loss because she knew she had to be grateful toMadge, Jem et al.

#77: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:50 pm

That's a lovely snippet, Ruth - the effect of the death of Humphries and di Bersetti is glossed over a little in the books so it's nice to see more made of it ...

#78: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 1:08 pm

Thank you Ruth, a far more balance view of how Robin would have felt - I feel EBD just wanted Robin to rely on Madge and especially Joey so saw her father as an unneccessary encumbrance. She obviously put no thought into how Robin would have felt.

#79: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 1:33 pm

Thank you Ruth, its good to have more about how Robin felt about the death of her parents, and also the role Bette had in helping her.

#80: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:03 pm

Lovely, so nu=ice to see even more of Robin and how she has developed. Looking forward to ssing her out in the parish.

#81: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:07 pm

I'm really looking forward to more of this. I suppose EBD, writing for children, held the views of her generation of children being 'too young' to grieve. And yet, she had had losses in her own life, I suppose she just suppressed them.

I'm sorry Robin is not looking forward to writing to the Russell/Maynards. Is she still looking for approval there?

#82: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:58 pm

Who else does she have to look to for approval? She's yet another sheltered CS girl.

#83: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:23 pm

I've just caught up with this again - thankyou!

I like Robin's friendship with Bette - I never really thought before about how she must have been affected, I suppose because EBD doesn't really mention it. She cries for her mother - once, is it? - and then is supposed to just get over it and be a completely happy child! And I don't remember much grief at all when her father dies, although it is a while since I read that era.

#84: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:12 pm

Programme on R4 tonight "The nun I never was" reminded me of this drabble. Been rather busy recently. Here's the next bit. Think the PB has run off to cooler climes so not sure when the next episode will be .....

Joey had, predictably reacted badly. There had been the usual comments about how frail Robin was and how unable to cope with Parish work she was. She had tried not to feel as if she was letting her family down, but it was difficult.

However, two months in to her placement, Robin had never felt happier or more fulfilled. Before she had arrived, the priest in charge of the parish had been seriously overworked. Never before has she seen someone as exhausted as Father Andre was when she had first arrived. She took great satisfaction in relieving him of some of his burden. Robin had always been interested in people and loved visiting those who lived in the parish. She sincerely hoped that they gained something from her visits, but was fully aware that it was her own sense of fulfilment that kept her going.

That was not to say that she did not miss the convent. In the first few weeks, she had felt so lonely and homesick, that she thought she would not survive. The life without discipline had been hard to adjust to. Had she been less level headed, it would all have gone to her head.

Those first few weeks away from her sisters reminded her very much of her first term at Oxford. Robin had gone straight to Somerville from the Chalet School. It was so different from her previous experiences and she just couldn’t cope! Robin had always been popular at School, yet at college she found it difficult to make friends. Increasingly, she found herself spending more and more time at the Oratory, the Catholic Church that was practically next door to her college. While drowning in a sea of uncertainty, her childhood faith was the only thing that remained constant.

Eventually her regular attendance came to the attendance of young Fr Andrew, a priest in training at the Oratory.

#85: Author: Jay,

Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:38 pm

Oooh, intriguing!

Thanks for returning to this Ruth (and Ruth's PB), I'm really enjoying it!

#86: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 5:52 am

Excellent, thanks for coming back to this, Ruth. Why does Joey always react so badly? We all see her as so conservative in her ways!

#87: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 10:15 am

Thank you for returning to this Ruth. I'm glad Robin is enjoying her new work, and I hope we get to see more of her at Uni.

#88: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 1:10 pm

I'm intrigued to hear more about Robin and Father Andrew.

#89: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 2:26 pm

*tries to entice bunny-of-plot to return with chilled bunny-of-plot treats*

I'm glad you're carrying on with this, Ruth.

#90: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 3:39 pm

Lovely to see this being continued. Chilled lettuce on it's way!

#91: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 10:00 am

Thank you for more of this glad Robin is happy and full-filled in her new work, It will be nice to see more of her story both the new and the past. Did Father Andrew steer her towards becoming a nun?

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