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interview 2

The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles

#1: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:51 pm

*joins in the cheers for Liss*
Thank you Rachael, nice to see our Head of Governors appreciates the need for Baileys.

#2: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:57 pm

Sarah_K wrote:

*joins in the cheers for Liss*
Thank you Rachael, nice to see our Head of Governors appreciates the need for Baileys.

Very true! I suppose that's because she drinks so much of it herself! Wink

#3: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 9:38 pm

Wonderful Rachael!! Loved Liss' checklist - as everything else on the list is in all traditional CS books (you know those things we used to read Wink

) I'm assuming that you feel the Baileys was there too? Laughing

#4: Author: Polly, Location: Essex

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:52 am

More please! Heart

#5: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:00 am

*echoes Polly*

*thinks Liss is a very wise person*

#6: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 2:35 am

Superb installment. Really funny. Love the mental checklist.

#7: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 9:49 am

Here you are then:

KB settled in her chair with another of the bottles of Baileys sent by the very considerate Chair of the Board and contemplated the girl to whom she had just sent a summons. She had gone through the list of questions Liss had posed about those girls summoned, and felt that perhaps it was time to return to the basics. It was easy enough to remember – Miss Annersley gave one a lecture that was extremely difficult to remove from one’s mind – but KB wasn’t sure if she had quite the same level of skill. This next victim – sorry, sinner! would be an test.

Catherine crept into the study a short time later, bobbed the requisite curtsey and stood waiting at the doorway, trembling visibly.

KB smiled inwardly. She did love it when they reacted like that.

“Come here.”

Catherine crept across the carpet and stopped on the other side of the desk, not daring to lift her eyes from the floor. KB could almost see her beginning to mentally say her tables, having doubtlessly run through a list of transgressions on the way there.

“Do you know why I’ve summoned you here today?”

‘Always good to start with a question, see if you can get more out of them,’ she thought to herself. ‘That was the third rule, according to Miss A., the first being to send the most nervous Junior to find the sinner, and the second being to look at one’s most imposing when the said sinner arrived.’

“N… no, Miss Bruce,” Catherine stammered.

‘Bugger,’ KB thought, and wished ardently for her Baileys. ‘Now I have to make something up!’

“So,” she finally said, inspiration having struck, after a moment in which it was obvious that Catherine was ardently wishing for the floor to open up and swallow her, “you don’t consider threatening your Head Mistress reason for come here for a little chat?”

Catherine squirmed visibly, much to KB’s delight. “I… I’m not doing it much, Miss Bruce,” she offered in pleading tones. “Some of the others are much worse than me!”

“Than I,” KB corrected immediately. “You mean ‘than I am’, Catherine.”

“Er… er, yes,” Catherine admitted, turning bright red, and KB cheered inwardly. She was really getting the hang of this now!

“Do you consider that it is your place,” the Head went on, suddenly discovering a font of ‘gentle irony’ within herself and dipping in with aplomb, “to tell your Head Mistress when to ‘pull yourself together’?

Catherine didn’t answer this, but blinked rapidly in a way that suggested she was on the verge of tears. KB glowed inwardly. ‘If only Miss Annersley could see this!’ she thought happily.

“I understand,” she continued rather grimly, seeing the colour flush brightly in Catherine’s face, “that you hope to be a teacher. Would you tell me how you hope to command respect from your pupils when you refuse to accord any to your Head Mistress?”

Even Catherine’s ears were bright pink now as she began to study the grain of the desk, her lips trembling slightly and devoid of the ability to speak.

The appropriate punishment was waiting to be collected, and KB seized it eagerly.

“For the whole of next week,” she said slowly, the words dropping into the dead silence of the room, “you will teach my classes. I shall be in the front row. I shall treat you in the same way you and the others treat me – audible insults, tittering, smirking, laughing, mocking. I will make your life hell, as you make mine. You shall look forward to the class with detestation, as I do. You will feel as if everyone hates you, as I do. You will not want to be nice to anyone, as I frequently do not. Then, perhaps, you will understand what it is truly like to be a teacher, and moreover what I must suffer as Head Mistress.”

She fished around in her desk and found her lesson plan for the forthcoming week, which she placed on the desk, pushing it slightly in Catherine’s direction and hard-pressed not to giggle at the sheer horror in that young woman’s eyes.

“Your free time will be taken up in planning those lessons,” KB continued. “You must come to each class organised and ready, having read enough to be able to answer such questions as the class may direct at you. Should you not do this,” the obligatory note of warning crept into KB’s voice, “you will find your punishment extended for another week. Very well, you may go.”

Catherine took the lesson plan and crept from the room, a broken girl, sobbing bitterly as she left. KB smiled as the door closed and went to fetch the tape. Liss would really enjoy that one…

#8: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:45 am

Well I knew it was coming................................. Rolling Eyes

Unfortunately, what KB had reckoned without was the fact that her classes were all so stunned by and apprehensive about her presence in the classroom that they could ask no questions. They behaved like angels and it was KB who felt the fool, being stared at every time she opened her mouth to ridicule Catherine. On one or two occasions, the braver souls had leapt to the defence of one of their favourite people and had even tried to shut KB up when she started asking difficult and awkward questions by jeering and saying "As if we'd ever have to know that! Honestly! What a waste of time!". Of course, they had been silenced by one of KB's looks but they thought all the more and at the end of the week, one of the Middles summed up the state of affairs for the rest of the term by saying "Well if the Head can behave like that in lessons so can we! And since she can't punish us for something she did herself - good thing Alice had that videocamera in every lesson - I vote we start in right away next week!". And so they did. The Chalet School would never be the same again. Wink

#9: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:50 am

Matey was rather worried when she was summoned to Catherine's dormitory to find the girl giggling to herself in her sleep. That wasn't how the girls usually reacted after a summons by the Head, but then Catherine had never been usual...

#10: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:03 pm

That was great KB. Laughing

Nice try at rebutal Catherine, but I think KB had the last word on that one!!! *Shudders at the thought of Matey*

#11: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:30 pm

Can't see having the Headmistress in the front row is going to enhance her standing with the Middles.

(Remembers fondly times when sat in the back row - flicking pellets at those in the front - not to hurt but to stick - some girls would have three or four stuck on their backs when the lesson was finished!)

*Of course I not suggesting that the Middles do that to Miss Bruce - as if I would! Twisted Evil

#12: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:52 pm

You may not be suggesting that Lesley, but you are certainly responsible for the origination of the idea. Razz

#13: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:20 pm

Great, KB, funny how it turned out though, isn't it?

#14: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 4:16 pm

Lesley wrote:

*points Lesley in the direction of the Revolt thread! Feel free to expand on your idea, Lesley!*

#15: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 6:42 pm

Thank you KB, at least you have a good role model Wink

#16: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 7:02 pm

*chuckling out loud*

Excellent KB!!

Poor Catherine though!!

#17: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 7:47 pm

Jennie wrote:

Great, KB, funny how it turned out though, isn't it?

*wonders what Jennie had to do with it*

#18: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:22 pm

*giggles*
I suppose Catherine did ask for it a bit..........
*wonders who's next?*

#19: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:46 pm

*falls down at Vikki's feet, full of gratitude for such support* Evil or Very Mad

#20: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:48 pm

Sorry hon!
*huggles*

#21: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:08 am

*wonders if Catherine's punishment might work in RL, throwing in a grade for how well she does Twisted Evil

*
Don't think I could take watching for a whole week, though Confused

#22: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:58 am

I've heard it threatened before, but not that anyone ever went through with it.

#23: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 11:22 am

I'm assuming you mean you'd like a kid to take over all your lessons? If so, a good idea, but I'm not quite sure whether kids aged four to seven could do it!!

#24: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 2:59 pm

No one being summoned today?

#25: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:16 pm

It's Rachael isn't it? She doesn't have access over the weekend, does she?

#26: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:23 pm

hehehehehehehe please may we have some more soon!

#27: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:48 pm

catherine wrote:

It's Rachael isn't it? She doesn't have access over the weekend, does she?

She never used to - but she takes her laptop home now so has no excuse! Laughing

#28: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:54 pm

catherine wrote:

I'm assuming you mean you'd like a kid to take over all your lessons? If so, a good idea, but I'm not quite sure whether kids aged four to seven could do it!!

Actually, the "kid" I had in mind was supposed to be in uni. No longer my student, really, but I could file the idea away for the future....

#29: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 5:39 pm

Thanks KB - just caught up on this after four days away and think the Baileys a fantastic idea.

More please...

#30: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:47 pm

Are we chanting yet girls?

#31: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:49 pm

Chanting as we speak* Very Happy

#32: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 8:13 pm

Kathy_S wrote:

catherine wrote:

I'm assuming you mean you'd like a kid to take over all your lessons? If so, a good idea, but I'm not quite sure whether kids aged four to seven could do it!!

Actually, the "kid" I had in mind was supposed to be in uni. No longer my student, really, but I could file the idea away for the future....

Sorry Kathy! I didn't make that very clear! I was referring to the kids in the class I've just taught on my TP!

#33: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:24 pm

*also wondering what's up with Rachael* Perhaps I could post another today and she could post two in a row...

#34: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:27 pm

If it means we get some today and if Rachael won't mind, YES PLEASE KB!!!!

#35: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:34 pm

I don't think she will. I quite like this one. I was going to save it for later, but here you are.

The timid knock on the door drew Miss Bruce’s attention and she smiled as she remembered the appointment she had made.

“Herein!”

The two smallest Juniors in the school crept into the Head’s study, bobbing nervous curtseys before approaching the desk, their eyes on the floor.

“This has,” KB began impressively, “been a very, very long time coming. I have waited, I have been patient, I have given gentle reminders that perhaps such behaviour is not appropriate, and yet you have both continued to flaunt my good nature. I am ashamed of you both.”

The smaller of the two girls burst into noisy tears, but KB was not Miss Annersley, so she neither felt her heart soften nor gave out one of the large collection of handkerchiefs that she had inherited from her predecessor.

“Yes, I think you are right to cry,” she said grimly. “Do you know how much distress you have caused this entire establishment?”

“P… please… w… we didn’t mean to,” the other Junior stammered, before also dissolving into tears.

“Didn’t mean it?” KB exclaimed in astonishment. “Then what did you mean? Forgive me if I sound rather disbelieving, but you have come closer than anyone else in this school’s long history of bringing the entire Chalet School to its knees! Particularly you, Tabitha Elizabeth Montgomery! Elinor here has done nothing more than scare most members, but you have are what I, above all things, abhor – you are a thief!”

Tabitha, or the TEM, as she was known to those at the school – there was no one except Elinor that she could count as a friend, so what her friends call her is irrelevant – shed even more bitter tears at this.

“I am afraid,” KB said slowly, “that I consider you too much of a danger to be kept at this school. Your parents have been called and will be here to collect you soon. Matron is waiting for you outside the door. You are to speak to no one else.”

Almost hysterical, TEM moved to throw herself at the Head’s feet and plead for mercy, but KB had had enough and called in Matron, who dragged the little fiend, kicking and screaming, out of the room.

“Now, Elinor,” KB said sternly, turning to the other sinner, who cringed visibly, “I have to admit that I do not consider your sin as serious as that of your erstwhile companion. I have great hopes that, now away from her evil influence, you will improve. That, however, can only be left to time. In the meantime, I hope that some time away from your classmates to consider your wicked behaviour will be beneficial.”

A knock on the door announced the return on Matron, and she waited to one side while KB finished the lecture she had never bettered before marching little miss ebd_herself off to the San.

#36: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:39 pm

*giggles*
Lovely KB!! thank you!!!

#37: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:42 pm

Great, how does it feel to expel someone?

Hope EBD_Herself takes note and proves her repentance by posting more drabble!!!

(Now, what would be great would be if Rachael came on and not noticing this posted as well, then we would have had two lots today! Wink

)

#38: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:47 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

)

Quite good, actually!

And then you would have gone without tomorrow!

#39: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:21 pm

KB wrote:

Carolyn P wrote:

(Now, what would be great would be if Rachael came on and not noticing this posted as well, then we would have had two lots today! Wink

)

And then you would have gone without tomorrow!

No, because one or the other of you is posting a bit everyday, I'm sure somewhere you said that...

#40: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:24 pm

But two lots today would just be giving you tomorrow's bit early...

#41: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:29 pm

But you would still need to make a posting tomorrow as well. It's the date of the posting that's just as important. Every day.

(It's just 'cos I'm enjoying this. Razz

)

#42: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 12:40 am

*falls off chair*
Thank you KB, nice to see Tabitha has been removed from the school!

#43: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:15 am

*giggling like a giggler on giggling tablets* Very Happy

#44: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:46 am

That should take care of the TEM! At least as far as the CBB is concerned, I hope. Perhaps this will also make her think hard before growing up to be an evil virus-developing hacker or something.

Catherine- I did remember your teaching the little guys, and at the time I posted was confusedly thinking that you might be thinking I was thinking about giving YOU the RL punishment. (Are we confuzzled yet?) So I was trying to make clear I was only contemplating my own hard cases. It's funny how a single student can make a class an absolute joy or total hell. I just wish I were better at defusing the latter.

#45: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:12 am

Oh yes, loved these posts, especially enjoyed seeing TEM being thrown out - and not before time!

Thanks for the cootie explanations, I know that was days ago, but it's a while since I've visited this thread.

#46: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:32 am

Morning, guys!

Apologies for yesterday - I spent the whole day in bed with a stomach bug but better now ... haven't quite finished yesterday's so will post later ...

Thanks for stepping in KB!!
Loved the TEM/Elinor/EBD_Herself thread!! Very Happy

#47: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:19 am

So did I, though I thought Aslan had taken care of the TEM!! Hope EBD_Herself appreciates it!!!

#48: Author: Caroline OSullivan, Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:39 am

(((((huggles Rachael)))))
Hope you're soon fully recovered

#49: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:33 pm

Hurrah, I like KB's powers now. Bye bye TEM.

#50: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:47 pm

Hope you soon feel totally better Rachael.

#51: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:29 pm

Thanks Caroline and Ellie! It wasn't too bad but I just felt so drained and listless all day - maybe Lucozade isn't quite as powerful as one of Matey's concoctions! Wink

Anyway, better late than never ...

“…………………………….
1294629555 - China
0000000004 - Chester Sisters
0000000027 - Poohed to death
0290342554 - The united States of America
0000000003 - The three bears, Tom, Honeycomb and Pogo
4639774425 - remainder of the worlds population

6,375,882,069 - GRAND TOTAL!!”

Miss Bruce finished reading the list, which had taken some considerable time, and peered at Rachel and Carolyn over her spectacles.
“Holocaust indeed – quite the apocalypse!”
Rachel and Carolyn said nothing.
“Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?”
“I’ve always written like that” muttered Rachel. “I don’t see why you’ve only decided to pick up on it now!”
“That will do! Being cheeky will get you nowhere” said Miss Bruce sternly.
“But, it’s true! I don’t write conventional stories. My plot bunnies tell me what to write and I can’t help it if it involves a certain level of death and destruction!”
“A certain level?” Miss Bruce looked scandalised. “My dear, total annihilation might be a more apt description! And I can not allow it to continue … you’re frightening the more impressionable of the Juniors. Matey has told me that since this drabble began there has been a sharp increase in nightmares throughout the entire Lower School. She is struggling to get any sleep herself because she’s spending the whole night doling out nostrums. And those who are not suffering from bad dreams are being led astray by your example. I tell you, we can’t have it!”
Rachel sighed and averted her eyes so that her line of vision went slightly to the right of the Head.

Miss Bruce turned to Carolyn.
“And you? Have you any excuse?”
“No, Miss Bruce” Carolyn sounded contrite but there was a gleam in her eye had the Head chosen to look.
“Do you feel that Rachel has influenced you? Your writing seems to have taken a much darker turn since you two became friends ...”
There was a flash of anger across Carolyn’s face as she replied.quickly, “No! I stand by my own drabbles … I … I just feel that my scope has broadened since meeting Rachel, that’s all!”
“Very well, in the absence of any mitigating circumstances, I must consider what punishment is best …”

The Head rose and moved towards the window, admiring the great vista of the mountains from which she and her fellow headmistresses had drawn so much succour and inspiration over the years. Permitting herself a slight smile, (after all, she knew exactly what sentence would befall the unfortunate pair, having already chosen it the week before), she drew out the silence to an excruciating length. Rachel and Carolyn exchanged a quick glance behind her back. Retribution was about to fall and they needed to be strong.
‘I just wish Brucie would get on with it,’ thought Rachel, ‘All this waiting is worse than actually finding out what’s in store for us …’
Catching Carolyn’s gaze she rolled her eyes and was rewarded with a grin. Whatever the Head had in mind, they would face it together.

Turning back to them, Miss Bruce had composed her features into the very model of a modern headmistress but it was the eyes which gave her way. Rather than the familiar dark brown, they seemed changed to a pale, pale blue and she was staring at them almost vacantly, in an extremely eerie way, reminiscent of the Midwich Cuckoos. Her voice, when she spoke, was toneless and the words she imparted were spoken without expression or emphasis, as though she was reciting some other-wordly incantation. Did she really have supernatural powers? Could she really impose any punishment?
Rachel and Carolyn both shook themselves metaphorically, surely their imaginations were running away with them, and snapped to attention.

“Given your predilection for the demise of others and high fatality rates, it seems appropriate that your punishment should reflect the blood and guts of your drabbles. Also your prowess in amusing others should not be overlooked and consequently, you will be chastised as follows:
We will work through your Holocaust list and each day you will endure a different death from that list … over and over again for the full twenty four hours of that day … when the list is completed, we will start again … for eternity ….”
“But … but …” stammered Carolyn.
“…Wibble …” spluttered Rachel.
“Yes”, again the Head spoke. “We have so much to look forward to … oh, did I not mention that the rest of the Board will be able to tune in and watch your … ahem … discomfort … at any time of the day or night?
– being variously electrocuted, cleaved, ickle bunnied, curtsied, shredded, tongue-lashed to death …
– death by chintz, by pot pourri, by Shakespeare, by washing pans, by Baileys …
– impaled on a railway sleeper, trampled & crushed by Brownies, swallowed whole …
– from a virus, from smoking-related causes, from thrombosis …
– from inhalation of flies, from embarrassment, from contortions …
– by drowning in effluent, swooning over Jack, being tangled in knots …
Oh, it’s going to be such fun … such great entertainment … unsurpassed I would imagine …”

A look of abject horror passed over both girls’ faces.
“Of course, there is an alternative …” Miss Bruce beamed benignly, her eyes resuming their usual shade of brown.
“Anything … anything …” mumbled Rachel.
“Name it!” pleaded Carolyn.
“Well, it’s your choice but there is a way out and to draw a veil over this most unpleasant of episodes.”
They looked at her pleadingly.
“Isn’t it obvious, girls? All you have to do is write a drabble, penned individually of course, no sharing – a drabble of saccharine sweetness, pure and unadulterated slush. Using Miss Brent-Dyer’s Chalet School characters, adopting her style, incorporating her characters and creating believable plotlines. No torture, no deaths, … and no Rachel, that means not even minor characters … no destruction, no cliff-hangers… do you think you can do it?”

Even as she turned to retrieve her latest bottle of Baileys, Miss Bruce’s words were drowned. Carolyn had emitted an ear-piercing shriek which threatened to shatter every pane of glass in the school. She now sat weeping and wailing, clutching her head and rocking gently from side to side. But this was as nothing compared to Rachel. Initially silenced, it was as if something in her mind had snapped. She emitted a low moan which rapidly escalated to a high-pitched keening. Then, grabbing two pencils from the Head’s desk, she stuffed one up each nostril and whipping off her knickers, arranged them casually on her head. Retreating to a far corner of the room she sank to the ground, a slow dribble of saliva trickling gently from her mouth.

Sipping at her drink in a genteel fashion, Miss Bruce shook her head sadly.
“Mad …” she murmured to herself, “Quite, quite mad …”

#52: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:50 pm

*giggles*

That was wonderful, Rachael! Thank you!

Hope you're feeling better now.

#53: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:17 pm

As close to ROFL as I can be in the library, I'm getting some very funny looks now... Very Happy

That was great!

#54: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:18 pm

Steve has a couple of duplicate Lledo models that I'm sure he would be happy to donate to a good cause!! Twisted Evil

Perhaps a little mayhem and torture will bring the return of a modicum of sanity! Twisted Evil

#55: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:52 pm

*sobs hysterically*
Rachael, that was inspired!!! (and evil.....)
Hope you're better now!

#56: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 5:24 pm

At least if I'm mad I don't need to make that choice and write the drabble!!!
ROFL

A nice soft padded room would be quite welcome!!

Thanks Rachael, that was actually very refreshing after a day at college!

#57: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 5:49 pm

ROFL Rachael, it actually hurts, I've laughed so much.

#58: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 6:51 pm

Wonderful epilogue!
*giggles quietly to herself for the rest of the day*

#59: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 8:15 pm

hmmm.

EBD did kill off minor characters though, as required.

Doesn't stop me being amused though.

#60: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 8:47 pm

Fantastic stuff, Rachael! I love the use of the window!

#61: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:04 pm

A sweet tale, where I killed nobody.

Summer at the Tiernsee was a delightful time of year, filled with sweet, sweet flowers, beautiful rays of sunshine and magnificent views of mountains. The girls drew a deep breath of sweet fresh mountain air, rejoicing in the sheer pleasure of being out of the classroom for the day.

They sang gaily as they proceeded up the mountain path, laughing and chattering quietly, and pointing out clumps of heartsease and gentians to one another.

They skipped like lickle lambs in the field as they chased each other up the path, only stopping when they were out of breath. Finally they reached the alm, drenched in sunshine, and Miss Bettany called them all over to settle near her while they enjoyed the most delicious feast that Marie Pfeiffen had prepared.

After their most delicious meal, Miss Bettany entertained the girls with stories; stories of possible futures, stories of her past, stories from her own imagination and stories from master writers. The girls sat in rapt attention, breathless with the skill of their story telling Head. Madge permitted herself a small smile as she saw how much the dear girls were enjoying this summer's picnic.

It was a day many were to look back on with mingled emotions. It had been a moment's beauty in a troubled world. None had foreseen that long ago day just what troubles were to come to Austria and those living there. Madge Bettany had certainly been unable to foresee events that caught up so rapidly and destroyed an entire way of life.

Many girls remembered that day when Madge had told stories of possible futures; futures containing love, marriage, children, life. For so many of the delightful girls, Hitler put an end to their stories before they had even begun, and for others, their stories were so far from the beautiful tales wended by Madge Bettany that they no longer remembered that there had been an alternative.

Life is subjective. The life that many led was far from beautiful, was far from happy, was far from the stories one would like to believe in. But of course, those girls who lived to regret the war were the lucky ones. Many others never lived to regret anything.

However, all was not lost as the Chalet School flourished and went from strength to strength. The girls who passed through the doors of the school grew up to become strong women, dependant on their menfolk, and their children were brought up in naivetie. Their families were privileged and blessed, and their lives bore little resemblance to those of those young maidens who went on the picnic up the Mondsheinspitze.

#62: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:09 pm

*very glad to see that Rachel obeys her HM*

Carolyn, where is yours?

#63: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:10 pm

*laughs head off*

#64: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:14 pm

A really sweet story, Rachel, too bad it had a sting in the tail. But, you did keep your word, you didn't kill a single person.

#65: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:16 pm

And no one could deny that it wasn't influenced by EBD...

#66: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:17 pm

KB wrote:

*very glad to see that Rachel obeys her HM*

Carolyn, where is yours?

Having a few problems with those minor characters who keep dying, but it will be here soon.

#67: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:20 pm

Well, hold them up!

#68: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:24 pm

KB wrote:

Well, hold them up!

With a noose for preference Wink

#69: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:27 pm

*turns blue-eyed gaze on Rachel and watches her wibble slightly*

#70: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:30 pm

* laughs uproariously at the idea of wibbling before the HM *

#71: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:33 pm

*wonders why corporal punishment was banned*

*reminds Rachel that the same look sent her mad before*

#72: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:35 pm

But if I was already mad, surely your attempts at making me mad would in actuality turn me sane? therefore, when I laugh uproariously, I am doing so in a sane and compos mentis state?

Anyway, I wasn't mad before - everyone else was.

#73: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:40 pm

*feels that the correct response might be 'yes, dear' and a rapid retreat*

#74: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:45 pm

** follows the HM down the corridor **

but you have to agree that my argument is logical surely?

If I was mad to begin with, I might well have chosen to just sit with pencils up my nose, but due to my unaccustomed bout of sanity, I sat with pencils up my nose writing a sweet tale, such as requested. I killed nobody, I wrote in the style of Miss Brent-Dyer, and it was short. Where exactly do you see scope for declaring me to be mad?

Carolyn on the other hand is a sorry, sorry tale, one not suitable for polite company. She truly is insane.

#75: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:46 pm

Please Miss Bruce I had a little trouble with the story. I hope this is OK.

It was beautiful summer’s day on the Gornetz Platz. The Perfect Chalet School was in existence. The sun was shining, there was a gentle refreshing breeze and everyone was as happy as could be. The head had decided to send the whole school out on rambles. There were no accidents, no flash floods, no storms, nothing happened, so there was no story to be found there.

There was a new girl, Jane. She was from a perfect healthy family. She was well balanced and therefore didn’t run away and have a nasty accident that reformed her. Neither did one of her parents or a sibling, or a step sibling catch TB or get involved in an automobile accident or get eaten whilst exploring. So there was no story to be told there.

The next day no one had a toothache or a bilious attack, so there were no frayed tempers. This meant that no one threw a bookend or upset coffee or red ink everywhere. There was no story to be told there.

The sale occurred. No one misbehaved, no one fell off a cottage and was rude to a mistress, and no one was careless with an iron so there was no fire. There was no story to be told there.

On Sunday they went to church. There was a simple sermon about giving. No other school was present so there were no arguments over the distribution of the offering. There were no swarms of may flies and no old girls had died and been ‘called to higher service’ so there was no stained glass window in the chapels. There was no story to be told here either.

They played hockey, cricket, lacrosse, netball, rounders, and tennis (not all at once). However everyone knew the rules and played very well. No one was hit on the knuckles with a hockey stick, nor was anyone locked in an art room before a match necessitating the smashing of a window to escape. The story was not to be found here.

The girls all behaved perfectly so there were no midnight feasts, which meant no girl almost, killed herself through greediness. It also meant that no scary tales were told in the dorms so no girl went sleepwalking, scaring other girls into fainting fits. No misbehaviour also meant no guilty consciences and therefore every girl slept the sleep of the just. The story was proving very elusive.

The staff room was quiet. The mistresses had all planned and marked all their work in record time and after drinking Jeanne’s nectar like coffee and reading Just William had retired to bed by 22:00. There was no intrigue, no backbiting, no ‘close’ relationships, no fights, and no story.

Miss Annersley was bored. The school was perfect, no one ever had to be called to her study, no one ever did anything that necessitated her interference. She reached for her telephone and dialled a number.
“Elinor, I think I might have need of your ‘special’ services.”

#76: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:51 pm

Oh! Ouch!
Brilliant the both of you - thank you!! Very Happy

Rachel - did you get any piccies of yourself with pencils up your nose? If so, please bring to the Gathering!!

#77: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:54 pm

Oh dear.

#78: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:54 pm

For the information of gatherers, mine was a single side of A4 in size 12!

#79: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:55 pm

Brilliant, wonderful, both of you.

Who's next for the Head's study?

#80: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:57 pm

catherine wrote:

Oh dear.

Well I might not have been exactly original Catherine, but we don't have a lot of time to think aboiut these, and at least I did it!

And I could have pleaded madness!

The question is, has Miss Bruce passed it?

#81: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:17 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

For the information of gatherers, mine was a single side of A4 in size 12!

That's as maybe ... but don't think you can reproduce that kind of sterile cr*p for the Gathering!! Wink

(otherwise we'll never guess that you're the author!!)

#82: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:20 pm

I have a different idea for the gathering, but I'm not actually sure I'll bother writing one now.

#83: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:29 pm

You flippin better Carolyn! Otherwise I shall personally sit on you until you do write one. So there.

#84: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:34 pm

Yes you will Carolyn!! If I know you, you won't be able to help yourself!!

(You did realise I was joking didn't you? Kiss

)

#85: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:38 pm

Sorry Rachael, I put your comment with Catherine's and didn't realise. I think maybe i'm too touchy but I took the comment at face value and didn't think about the smiley.
Sorry.

#86: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:43 pm

No worries! Smile

And by "sterile" I meant in a witty way - as you imply, there wouldn't be any story without a bit of murder and mayhem ... at which you & Rachel are particularly adept!! Very Happy

*eagerly looking forward to Carolyn's stroy at the G!*

#87: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:52 pm

*Trying to shake self*

I can see that now. The silly thing is that i was trying to somehting to show that without all the murder and mayhem there wouldn't be any story, and obviously I did, and then got upset when that was pointed out. Stupid me!

#88: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:58 pm

LOL!

*hugs Carolyn and calls for tomorrow and new story!!*

#89: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:12 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

catherine wrote:

Oh dear.

Carolyn, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it as an insult to you!! It just made me think how boring life would have been at the CS without all EBD's trials and tribulations and how boring it would be if we really wrote drabbles like that! I got kicked off before I could go back and edit it!

#90: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:34 pm

Catherine, see my reply to your PM and to Rachael above.

Sorry everyone.

Also calls for tomorrow and a new story, although I thought Rachael's today was excellent, and very well written.

#91: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:11 am

*giggles at both responses, and hopes all the ruffled feathers are now soothed....*

#92: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:42 am

All three of you are something else!
Though I'm not sure I'd have passed Rachel's, throwing in Hitler like that. And Carolyn's was a bit cheeky Very Happy

... but very, very amusing.

#93: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 9:25 am

Feeling much better this morning and wishing I could delete last night.

So, come on KB, where is today's bit?

#94: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:30 am

It's me again cos I missed Sunday's

And I still need to finish it ......................................... Embarassed

#95: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:24 am

Being nit-picking - I'm not sure either of them were 'pure unadulterated slush'! Rachel's came nearest, except for the twist! |Loved them both of course! Very Happy

#96: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:10 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

The question is, has Miss Bruce passed it?

It will do, I suppose.

#97: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 2:21 pm

Ah, but what grades would you award them KB??

#98: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:06 pm

Kathye and Kathy_S hesitated outside the door.
“Why do you think she’s summoned us?” whispered Kathye nervously.
“I’ve no idea!” replied Kathy_S. “I’m a bit surprised to be honest. We both keep a fairly low profile on the Cookies & Drabbles page and they’re the main people she’s been targeting so far …”
“I hope so but I think she’s losing her touch – the last people that came out said she was reeking of alcohol … apparently she gets absolutely soused with Baileys every night!
“No!” Kathy_S looked suitably shocked. “The old lush!”
“Yes, it’s surprising really. She’s been handing out some swingeing punishments and yet the amount of bottles she’s been getting through, you’d think she could barely string two words together …”
“Maybe we’ll be lucky then? With any luck she’ll have sunk into unconsciousness and forgotten all about us?”
“Huh! No such luck!” replied Kathye pessimistically. “She’s got the memory of an elephant that one.”

Minutes later they were still standing outside the door. Kathye nudged Kathy_S.
“Well go on then, knock on it!”
“You knock on it!”
“I said it first …”
“I’m older ..”
As their voices escalated, neither heard heavy footsteps stumbling across the room. Seconds later, the door was flung open and a distinctly dishevelled headmistress leered out at them. Her usually pristine tweed skirt and woollen cardy were all askew; there were large cream stains dolloped down her blouse; her hair was all tousled and unkempt, her eyes bloodshot and her breath stank of Bailey’s …

“Whadayawant?” she slurred, whilst futilely holding a half empty bottle behind her back.
“Er … you sent for us, Miss Bruce” replied Kathye in her most demure voice.
“Did I?”, the Head was struggling to focus. ‘Were there two girls standing in front of her or four?’ Double vision had never previously been a problem but perhaps she should book an appointment at her optician’s?
“Yes, Miss Bruce. We received a message to report to you immediately after Prayers.” Kathy_S adopted Kathye’s prim demenaour as if butter would not melt in her mouth.
“Ah, well then, you’d better come in …” Staggering slightly, Miss Bruce flung open the door, threw out the arm which was not clinging to the wall for balance and ushered in her two pupils.

Kathye and Kathy_S edged into the room keeping as far away from their headmistress as possible and exchanging puzzled glances. So the rumours were true then – Miss Bruce was puddled! Smashed! Trollied! As drunk as the proverbial skunk! Sidling past eleven huge crates which contained goodness knows what, they drew up in front of the large mahogany desk and waited for an awkward moment as the Head veered towards her chair. It was clear that she was concentrating hard and the effort to move in a straight line was obvious from her squinting eyes, clenched teeth and thin line of sweat along her brow. Dropping into her seat with some relief, and a slight wobble, Miss Bruce extracted a handkerchief from her sleeve, wiped her face, blew her nose with a resounding trumpet and then eyed the girls.

If truth be told she was at somewhat of a loss. She could not for the life of her remember summoning the girls, let alone why! In fact, she could barely remember anything from the last week. Her last tangible memory had been the surprise delivery of Baileys from the Chairman of the Board of Governors. Miss Bruce had never been in possession of so much alcohol in her life and she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with such a glut. There clearly wasn’t enough room for it in the drinks cabinet, she could hardly sanction taking it to the staff room and so there was clearly only one alternative – to down the majority of it and down it quickly. After all, it was cream-based wasn’t it? So it was hardly going to last forever!

Luckily her mind had not completely deserted her and she shuffled some papers aimlessly round her desk, hoping that such industry would disguise her uncertainty. Fortune appeared to be on her side and her darting glance fell upon some hastily written notes which she seized upon with relief.
“Ah, Kathy_S,” she began, speaking slowly and endeavouring to enunciate every word so as not to sound inebriated. “It has been brought to my attention that you have not been pulling your weight on the Cookies & Drabbles Board. Indeed, your recent contribution, the Index Drabble-orum I think you called it, whilst an excellent example of indexing and archiving, is hardly what I would call … hic … a creative piece!”
Kathy_S looked confused. “But, Miss Bruce, it wasn’t intended to be creative. I was just trying to help everyone else by setting up an easy reference page as a shortcut to all the archived drabbles.”
“Quite so and very successful it has been too but that’s no excuse for your own lack of drabbling.”
“I wrote an Advent Carol Drabble!” Kathy_S tried to defend herself.
“Which just goes to show that you can write with humour and imagination when you put your mind to it!” Miss Bruce was floundering a little but tried to remain firm. Under the influence however, she was no match for Kathy_S.
“Yes, but my best subjects are botany and biology, Miss Bruce, I can’t be expected to do everything ... Miss Wilson would have understood. It’s very frustrating being a scientist around here as everyone expects you to be quite literate and artsy but I know that none of the scientists and mathematicians expect the historians etc to be numerate …”

Defeated by such unquestionable logic, Miss Bruce raised one eyebrow as dismissively as possible and turned her attentions to Kathye who was attempting to stifle a giggle.
“And I don’t seem to have any record of even one drabble from you, Kathye, although please correct me if I’m wrong?” Again the arched eyebrow, the effect of which was somewhat diminished by another hiccup.
“No, Miss Bruce, I do enjoy some of the stories there but to be honest I prefer the more interactive threads … I’m a yibbler you see …”
“Quite … and is this why you saw fit to introduce a … ahem … a boy … to the Board, under a pseudonym?” The Head injected a hint of scandal into her voice.
Turning puce, Kathye stammered in reply. “I … I just thought it was a g … good idea at the time … h … he’s just a friend and a much better wr … writer than me ….please, I didn’t m … mean to cause any t … trouble ..”
“And do you consider this “idea” to be appropriate?”
“No, Miss Bruce and pup … please, I’m very sorry …”

Feeling suddenly tired, Miss Bruce had an overwhelming urge to crawl into her bed, pull her plummeau over her head and sleep off what was promising to become a stonker of a hangover. How could she best get rid of these girls?
“I seem to be developing a headache” she only half-fibbed, after all her head was throbbing. “On this occasion you may consider yourselves lucky. Kathye, I will overlook your indiscretion this once but if I hear of any further episodes with “boys”, I may be forced to reconsider your attendance here and both of you, please, you appear to be intelligent, articulate girls. A greater presence on the Drabbles pages would be much appreciated by everyone. I shall leave that thought with your consciences …”

Kathy_S and Kathye departed, casting curious stares in the Head’s direction as she slumped back into her chair.
“So, it’s true then!” Kathye was wide-eyed.
“Yes” agreed Kathy_S, “Quite blotto!”
“Do you think she’ll remember that she expects more in the way of drabbles from us?”
“Nah, no chance! Didn’t you notice the way her eyes were glazing over when she dismissed us? She’ll be comatose in no time …”
“Great, so no need to come up with a drabble then?” Kathye wa suitably relived.
“I’m not so sure …”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, she did leave it to our consciences …”
At Kathy_S’s insight there was an audible groan from both girls.

Meanwhile from within the study, a gentle snoring could be heard.

#99: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:12 pm

*giggles*
Rachael!! What is KB going to say when she sees this!!!?

#100: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:35 pm

Poor dear! She's obviously far too young to cope with all the responsibility! I think she should be gently deposed,a nd left to sleep it off. Twisted Evil

#101: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:53 pm

I tried to post to this before but got that stupid error message and now can't remember what I said...

I think I was giggling - cos that was very funny Rachael, hope KB is in a good mood when she finds it and has got lots of work done!

#102: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:37 pm

*sets up camp to await KB's reaction........*

#103: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:43 pm

*joins the waiting camp, chuckling merrily* Laughing

#104: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:17 pm

Saunters into camp, sets up tent cos its now raining, produces magic campfire that does not need feeding, hot chocolate and baked apples for everyone!

#105: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:15 pm

*thinks that any reaction from KB will be far greater in the anticipation rather than the event*

*laughs*

#106: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:27 pm

It's the reaction that she won't let us see that would be good!!! She'll certainly play it down on the board! Laughing

#107: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:04 pm

Nell wrote:

Saunters into camp, sets up tent cos its now raining, produces magic campfire that does not need feeding, hot chocolate and baked apples for everyone!

How thoughtful Nel, thank you very much.

#108: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:13 pm

Wonderful, Rachael!

#109: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:14 pm

Wonderful - caught up on all of these - think Rachel/Carolyn's rebuttals were great - Carolyn loved your ending!

Looking forward to KB's response! Twisted Evil

#110: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:18 pm

Poor KB!

We do make her suffer.......!

#111: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 3:30 am

Has she not been here yet? Sad

#112: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 7:57 am

Oh, no, not the conscience thing! Help!

*Looks at entire creative output of career and finds only 9 bad botany songs*
Nope, not a good precedent.
(Thanks Rachael for a fine defense Very Happy

.)

Maybe after a few more years of research the Arthur Ransome crossover will happen, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. (Hugh & I are still waiting for delivery of 1934 Guide handbook. Should be very interesting, but research is soooo much more fun than writing, and there’s always something new to discover....)

Shakes head at concept of Miss Bruce sloshed.

See, I would never have imagined that. Confused

#113: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:15 am

How was I supposed to be here before now? I was sleeping off a hangover...

Er, thank you, Rachael, I think... *glad to have left Rachael until last...*

#114: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:15 am

*somewhat concerned that the HM is too hungover to summon anyone to her study this morning*

well there has to be a reason why she hasn't posted today's section Wink

#115: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:24 am

Gimme a minnit...

KB looked at her list and ticked off those names she had recently had cause to speak with for various misdemeanours: Kathye and Kathy (an unfortunate incident, and one that KB wanted to put behind her), Lesley and Rachel, and of course that particularly unfortunate scene with little Tabitha and Elinor. Tabitha’s parents had been furious with the report they had received of her behaviour, and KB hoped it would mean that stronger controls would be exerted over the child. Coming to the next name on her list, KB’s brow furrowed as she tried to remember why this particular member of the school had been summoned, sipping her Baileys as she considered.

Oh, yes, of course. Matron had asked the Head to speak to the prefect about the fact that she had to constant pull them up for untidiness and problems with the school uniform.

A quick glance at her watch showed that the prefects would just have finished overseeing prep and should have half an hour or so before Kaffee. Perfect. Rising, she put the glass to one side and strolled around the desk, leaving the office.

At the doorway of the Prefect’s room, she halted, admiring the various items adorning the walls and which had been provided by the Prees themselves. Kat happened to glance up and glimpsed the Head, who was about to knock, leaping to her feet and paling slightly.

“M… Miss Bruce,” she stammered, and the other Prefects turned at once. Chloe came forward to greet her Head Mistress.

“How may we help you, Miss Bruce?”

“I thought I would find out how the plans for the dance are going.”

The other prefects turned back to their own pursuits as Chloe outlined her plans to date, and the Head nodded when she was finished.

“Excellent. When you have everything ready, come to see me and we will finalise all the arrangements. I have spoken to Mr. Withers, the working on your dances in Games?”

“Oh, yes,” Chloe assured the Head.

“Good. Excellent.” Miss Bruce smiled and made as if to leave, but suddenly turned back. “Oh, one more thing. Thomas, I would like to see you in my study after Kaffee und Kuchen.”

All eyes turned to the unfortunate Thomas, who gulped before managing to whisper agreement and turning scarlet. KB giggled inwardly and left the room, knowing that he would be besieged by the others during the meal, all the while wondering himself what had caused the summons. Meanwhile, Miss Bruce went to join the other mistresses for Kaffee in the staff room, where they were playing a rousing game of gin rummy.

Having lost a decent sum of money to Vikki, who was always suspiciously good at that game, KB was in a slightly less cordial mood when she returned to her study to await the Prefect. He was, she was amused to notice, perfection itself in terms of his uniform, and she believed he must have slipped up to the study to change, as she had taken notice of what he had been wearing in the Prefects’ room.

He bobbed a very awkward curtsey and stood waiting, his manner obviously ill-at-ease.

“Thomas,” KB began in tones that were deceptively gentle, “when we agreed, for the sake of your mother, to take you into this school, it was under one condition: that you respect the rules we have in this place as regards matters of dress. You used to be very respectful of it, but that no longer.”

Colour flooded to Thomas’ cheeks, and his gaze sank to the floor. He looked, therefore, like every other pupil thus summoned, but his pride wouldn’t allow such an accusation to go unanswered.

“But, Miss Bruce… well… it’s just that sometimes, when we Prefects go out, we meet the new school on the other side of the San, and it’s… it’s a bit embarrassing to be wearing a dress!”

KB could no longer restrain herself and laughed. “I had thought that perhaps it was something of the sort,” she admitted. “Matron also suspected something similar. That is why she came to me, both to ask me to take you to task over it, and to suggest that perhaps we could make an exception as regards the uniform, for you, for once. Therefore,” KB rose and walked over to the long cupboard in which she kept her outer garments, producing a plastic-wrapped item, “we had this made up for you. It is a uniform with trousers and shirts in cream, with the honeycomb pattern on the shirt pocket. You also have a tie of the same pattern, and you will, of course continue to wear your blazer.”

Thomas’ eyes glowed with delight as he was shown the attire and held out his arms for the bundle.

“I would ask you to keep this bit of information to yourself,” the Head continued, “but we will be offering this as an option to everyone next term. Your parents agreed to foot the bill for it now, for you, and so we had this made up early. However,” her voice became stern again, and Thomas looked up sharply, his features once more anxious, “you now have no excuse for not conforming to Matron’s rules. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Miss Bruce,” Thomas agreed at once. “Thank you so much, ma’am. I appreciate this very much!”

KB smiled. “You’re very welcome. Now, you may run up to your room and change, but don’t be long. The others will be wondering where you are.”

Instead of curtseying, Thomas gave a stiff bow, his face one broad grin, and left the room, as KB settled back in her chair and refilled her glass.

#116: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 12:38 pm

*giggles*

Thanks for that, kB.

#117: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 1:21 pm

*chuckling*

Hope Thomas reads this!! I had a lovely picture of him in my mind as "he bobbed a very awkward curtsey"!!

Do you think the CS will be flooded with applications from boys?

#118: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 2:18 pm

*giggling merrily to self*

#119: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 2:40 pm

Oh my!! I've just read about seven pages of this ROFL

Poor Tom *giggles wildly and hysterically*

#120: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 2:50 pm

I love the idea of Tom curtseying. Laughing

#121: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 4:04 pm

*giggles*
Thanks KB!!!!!

#122: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 4:33 pm

Very funny!

Wonder when Tom will read this?!

*wonders what has happened to the CBB clock*

#123: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 4:47 pm

Thank you for that bit KB! Very timely indeed! Laughing

#124: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 6:29 pm

Thanks KB, loked Thomas curtseying and getting emabarrassed about going out in a dress!

#125: Author: Alex, Location: Home again

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 9:02 pm

Don't know why it's taken me so long to get round to reading this! Glad I have been quiet of late, as KB seems to have abandoned the tradition of tempering justice with mercy.

#126: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 9:03 pm

I only do that to those who deserve it, Alex... Wink

#127: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 10:31 pm

More great episodes, love the idea of Thomas having to wear a dress and curtsey. Poor boy.

#128: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:37 pm

Loved it, thanks KB! Laughing

#129: Author: Grembles, Location: Norwich

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:42 pm

I met Thomas last week and the thought of him in a dress send me into hysterics.
Poor Thomas *wonders how much his parents had to pay to get a gymslip to fit his height!!*

#130: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 12:17 am

Can we assume that Tom is tall then?

#131: Author: Grembles, Location: Norwich

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 8:17 am

Tom seemed tall to me, but from 5'2 most people do!!
All my colleagues a re deperate to find out what the CBB is and what my nickname is on here.
They also found it very funny that I was meeting a man I knew from the internet!!

#132: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 10:24 am

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, rather like one of her own plot bunnies, Miss Bruce was beavering away at her never-ending pile of correspondence. Or, at least to the casual observer she was. Had anyone been privy to what was really going on behind those hallowed doors, she would have noticed that the German soundtrack to Les Miserables was on her portable CD player with the volume turned up full blast. KB was screeching along contentedly, if somewhat off key, as she worked. Although, in fairness, “worked” in the loosest sense of the word. Miss Bruce had craftily commissioned her very own signature stamp. Clare Kennedy now opened the mail, replied to the mail and if KB was out of her office, was able to even sign the mail with the headmistresses’ customary flourish. Today, however, the Head was engrossed in one of her favourite duties, stamping her signature on her letters herself. After all, why take the trouble to write your signature by pen when you can have so much more fun with a stamper and inkpad? As she sang, she stamped each letter to the beat of the music before passing it to the “fold and stuff” pile which she would return to Clare, primarily because she did not like licking the envelopes herself. She felt as if she was helping her secretary and enjoyed the buzz of pride as she saw the pile on one side of the desk diminish as the other grew thanks to her industry.

A shrill blare from the telephone interrupted her reverie. Her personal line was flashing. Who could it be? The Baileys wholesaler had delivered only the day before (her stash from the Chairman of the Board of Governors having been eked out for a full week); Liss herself was not in the habit of contacting her more than once a fortnight lest she be seen to interfere and her great chum, Vikki the Senior Mistress would be more likely to come in person. Sighing, she placed her beloved stamp carefully on its pad, placed a paperweight on both stacks of letters and grabbed the remote control so that she could mute the volume on Les Mis, or The Glums as she liked to call it, strictly to herself.

Grabbing the phone she intoned, “Katherine Bruce” in her best headmistress-esque fashion.
Seconds later she had almost dropped the receiver as a shrill voice burst into her eardrums and began to witter in piercing tones.
“Who is this?” she demanded interrupting the speaker’s flow.
Again, a burst of completely incomprehensible and high-pitched babble.
“Slow down!” the Head commanded imperiously.
The voice on the other end of the line obeyed and KB’s eyes shot into her forehead as she realised the identity of the caller and the requisite amount of deference showed in her voice.
“I think it may be best if you can tell me exactly what happened from the beginning, please” requested the Head, pulling a notepad and pen towards her and making herself as comfortable as possible in the knowledge that any conversation with this lady was unlikely to be brief.
The caller embarked on a lengthy story, a barely coherent rambling which was interjected with dramatic sobs, prattling asides and much self-pitying bleating.
Miss Bruce ignored these as best as she could and contented herself with making rapid notes and mumbling an occasional “uh-huh”, “no!”, “really?”, and “quite so” at appropriate intervals.
Finally, (‘and not before time’, thought the Head privately) the caller ran out of steam and insisted on being told what action the school intended to take after such a monstrous onslaught on her reputation and dignity.
“Rest assured that you can leave this issue with me” promised KB, refusing to be drawn into any discussion on retribution.
“I certainly hope so, Miss Bruce!” snapped the caller. “Really, the behaviour of some of our girls is becoming the outside of enough! I was speaking to Joan Bertram only last week and it seems that insubordination is rife throughout the school at the moment!”
“I will interview the girl today and call you back with a report” said KB firmly, ending the exchange for the moment.

I still need to write the other half of this and will post more later ... in the meantime, anyone like to hazard a guess as to the identity of both the mystery caller and the unfortunate CBBer about to be summonsed?

#133: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:32 pm

Joey and PatMac or Jennie

#134: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:34 pm

Do you reckon? I was going to go for the vicar's wife being cross that Lulie had told everyone she was mad!!

come on Rachael put us out of our misery!!

#135: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:39 pm

I've already been done, been told my punishment, and done it. So there!

#136: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:47 pm

and you feel that this means the won't do you again???

#137: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:49 pm

OOOOOOOOeeeeeerrrrrrrr! runs off shrieking!

#138: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:57 pm

Joey is the caller, Sarah-that-wrote-Stephen Maynard is the victim.

Or

Joey is the caller, patmac is the victim.

#139: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 2:17 pm

I immediately thought of Jo and PatMac, though the other combinations are equally likely! Hurry up with the second half please Rachael!!

#140: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 2:26 pm

Who? Who? Who? *curious and not making any wild guesses it will only spoil the surprise* Very Happy

#141: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:01 pm

Agrees that the caller is Jo, it could be any of the three aforementioned people though....

#142: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:10 pm

Aren't you all clever - and there was me thinking that I'd cleverly disguised Joey's golden, chorister-like voice Wink

“Mrs Maynard is a foundation stone of the school and no less a person than its very first pupil. As such she commands and warrants a certain level of respect!” Miss Bruce spoke very sternly and eyed the culprit sitting in front of her with some distaste.
PatMac shuffled in her chair, painfully conscious that she had gone beetroot red. The Head continued mercilessly.
“Mrs Maynard is extremely upset and very angry at the way you have portrayed her in your drabble. She has been writing school stories for many decades now and never before has she received such unfavourable reviews from the publishing world. Indeed, she is particularly disturbed, as am I, by your flagrant abuse of the freedom we give you girls. What exactly made you think it appropriate to not only pen this nonsense?” KB held the offending papers in her hand, “But also to forward it with a covering note, under Mrs Maynard’s name, to her publishers?”
PatMac swallowed nervously.
“Well girl, have you lost your tongue?”
“No, Miss Bruce … I … er … well, I thought it might be funny”, this last word almost inaudible as PatMac willed herself to become very small.

“Funny!” repeated the Head in disbelief.
“Er … yes … it was written tongue-in-cheek to have a little dig at how perfect Mrs Maynard is … and how easily she seems to combine motherhood and writing despite her large family … and that perhaps her methods are a little outdated …” PatMac’s voice trailed off under the icy gaze of her headmistress.
“I see … and did you stop to consider the repercussions of your actions?” Miss Bruce was at her frostiest. “The damning reviews, the slur on her literary reputation, the embarrassment and humiliation?”
“No, Miss Bruce” PatMac wished fervently that the ground would open up and swallow her.
“This is not the first time that Mrs Maynard has been maligned in this way. It’s not that long ago that I was speaking to Jennie about a very similar incident. Has she not mentioned how dimly we view such matters?”
“Yes, Miss Bruce”
Jennie had indeed spoken to PatMac, more in jest than in warning, but PatMac had felt that the merriment she was responsible for throughout the school was worth the risk of enduring a similar fate to that of her friend.

“Very well. Overall, I’m very disappointed in you, PatMac. On the one hand, you have settled down well into the school and have become very involved in all our activities which is pleasing. However, I think perhaps your judgement can be a little flawed and you are easily influenced by others. I understand that you have not even been over to Freudesheim for English tea yet this term and therefore have not enjoyed the privilege of meeting Mrs Maynard?”
“No, Miss Bruce” replied PatMac, an edge of resignation in her tones. Having heard about exactly what “English tea” involved, she had strenuously avoided as many invitations as possible by concocting a variety of excuses!
“In which case, I will organise this for you as soon as possible. Mrs Maynard continues to take an interest in our pupils and as you know she makes it her business to invite everyone to her house in order to make them feel welcome. I think that an afternoon in her company will prove very beneficial for you and when you return you will submit a brief report outlining exactly what you did and what you learnt that will be of value to you in the future …”

PatMac’s face was a picture as it dropped. What a dreadful punishment – English tea, alone with Mrs Maynard!

After she had left, Miss Bruce made her promised phone call. Mrs Maynard was not initially enamoured by the prospect of an afternoon spent with the girl who had caused such trouble for her. However, the Head was wise in her generation and pandered to Mrs Maynard’s ego by suggesting that it was just such girls who benefited most from Joey’s unique ability to get under their skin. By the end of the conversation, Mrs Maynard was convinced that the idea had been hers and hers alone and was making all sorts of plans to ensure that the afternoon with PatMac would be rewarding for both parties.

Miss Bruce meanwhile reflected sadly that Joey’s voice seemed to have lost most, if not all, of its original charm. Then, pouring herself a strictly measured and abstemious helping of Baileys, she settled into her armchair with PatMac’s drabble. She had been meaning to read it for a few weeks now, after a recommendation by the Senior Mistress who had declared it "a hoot”, but had been too busy (in an industrious way). Moments later she was enthralled and chuckling quietly as she flicked through the pages of the manuscript …

#143: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:13 pm

Oh nooooooooooooo poor PatMac - what torture! Smile

#144: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:15 pm

Let's see your report soon Pat!!!! ROFL

#145: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:16 pm

Ohh dear, feeling v sorry for Patmac, but I am lookinng forward to seeing her report on the afternoon tea...

#146: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:35 pm

Poor, poor PatMac! Feel very sorry for her, the report should be fun though!

#147: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:02 pm

Looking forward to your report PatMac!

#148: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 8:55 pm

*also looking forward to Pat's report* Great stuff, Rachael!

#149: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 10:47 pm

Poor Patmac, what a thing to endure.

Rachael that was wonderful, especialy the last picture with KB reading and enjoying said drabble! Laughing

#150: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 11:32 pm

Rachael, this is great!!! Poor PatMac!!!

#151: Author: Polly, Location: Essex

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 1:11 am

Finally caught up on this. I hadn;t read it since Sunday! V unny. Also looking forward to PatMac's report! Very Happy

#152: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:53 am

Poor PatMac!!!! Rachael this was hysterical! Laughing

#153: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 8:16 am

Folks, I'm afraid I can't post here yet for two reasons: first that the Board is agonisingly slow and second that I haven't written it yet! I will try to get it done and posted tonight.

#154: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 1:04 pm

I'm glad I'm not the only one for whom the board is very very slow.

#155: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:17 pm

Eagerly awaiting PatMac's report on her lovely Tea with the distinguished authoress.

#156: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:20 pm

Looking forward to PatMac's report but still feeling pretty sorry for her... Laughing

#157: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:39 pm

Looking forward to both PatMacs report and KB's version of the HM's next interview.........

I know your on the board, come one, where is it???

*jumping up and down impatiently*

#158: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:49 pm

Still writing it, and trying not to kick my 'puter. I'm only here to check if maybe Rachael had posted instead. Patience, my love.

#159: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 5:21 pm

So it's not just my computer being agonisingly slow. Thought it was sulking at me for some reason.

#160: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 5:29 pm

What a wonderful punishment Very Happy

I hope the baords sorts itself so we may have more soon!

#161: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:19 pm

Here you are:

The two girls, who were enjoying a quiet snooze in a sunny corner of the library, woke with a start when each felt a firm hand on her shoulder. Pim and Nell looked up into Miss Bruce’s stern face and felt their hears drop into their shoes.

“Girls,” the Head said quietly, so as not to disturb the others working nearby, who were doing so most assiduously, “I should like to see you in my study, as you are not doing anything important.”

Both girls looked guiltily at the essay they were supposed to be working on before closing their books and following the Head Mistress out of the library.

“Oh, golly, we’re for it now,” Pim whimpered. “You know Brucie’s been harder than ever since that thing with Kathye and Kathy.”

Fortunately for the Head Mistress’s dignity, the truth of that event had not leaked out into the school, although most girls, and many of the staff, would have been astonished to know that Liss would have heartily approved of the action and was saving for just such another treat for Miss Bruce.

Eventually, the girls arrived and exchanged glances. As Nell was about to knock, she noticed an engraving on the door and pointed it out to her boon companion in sin: ’Abandon hope, all ye who enter here (unless she’s plastered).’

Knowing that the HM was clearly possessed of her senses, both gulped nervously before Nell managed a nervous tap on the door.

“Herein!”

They entered and bobbed awkward curtsies before shuffling forward. It was then that the heard the rasping of a drunken snore – two, in fact – and looked up to behold an astonishing sight: two bodies lying on the large sofa – the Senior Mistress, Miss Kirkum, and Matey, lying on top of each other, and with a bottle of Baileys in each hand, both dead drunk!

KB expertly flung cushions at the soft to muffle the drunken snores and turned her attention to the miscreants before her, who gulped in unison.

“Now,” she said in a low voice, which was all the more menacing for it, “I have bad reports on the two of you from almost every mistress in the school. I do not believe a lesson has been completed this term in which one or both of you has not fallen asleep once! Do you consider this to be decent behaviour?”

“Er…”

“Well…”

There was a pause, before Pim was struck by a brainwave. “At least we aren’t causing trouble, Miss Bruce!”

“But that’s just the problem!” the Head Mistress exclaimed.

As she spoke, KB slammed her hand on the desk, which caused both girls to jump and Miss Kirkum to sit bolt upright, stare wildly around, and then pass out again, fortunately over Matey’s mouth, which further stifled that woman’s loud snores. The Head continued.

“How dare you let down the standards of the Chalet School in that way? Have you no respect for tradition? Do you not realise that it is the duty of girls to upset classes? Why else would we have had our mistresses trained in handling riots? Must all that expense and training go to waste?!”

Pim and Nell stared at the head, their eyes as wide as they could go. KB took a deep breath and calmed down, but she was by no means done with them yet.

“I have further complaints from Matey,” she went on, waving a hand at that woman, who had just slid off the sofa, dragging Vikki with her. The two women continued their nap on the floor. “I am unhappy about the way in which your pillow-fights pan out. It is completely insufficient for any to still be in the room at the end of the battle! I have arranged for an exhibition pillow fight to be held this evening. You two will watch and write me a report about those facets that you feel are lacking in your own affairs.”

KB looked down for a moment before lifting her eyes again.

“Oh, and no more chewing your hair. Disgusting habit! Almost as bad as putting pencils up your noses, which must also stop!”

After waiting a moment to ensure that neither had anything more to say – and as both had been struck speechless but the Head’s spiel, neither did – she dismissed them with a wave of her hand and then went to call up reinforcements from the staff room to get Vikki and Matey carried up to their respective rooms.

#162: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:22 pm

Well, that told them, letting down the school like that!

#163: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:28 pm

Ummmm yes...still speechless! Going home to think!

#164: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:35 pm

*Giggles at the idea of a pillow fight exhibition*

I hope Vikki and Matey don't have too bad a hangover

Thanks KB Very Happy

#165: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 6:45 pm

I'm sure Vikki and Matey have had worse. Hey, since Liss, KB and Vikki have been assigned roles in the school, why don't we give someone the status of 'Matey'.

#166: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 7:51 pm

Are you volunteering Sarah?
Actually it would probably be fun, you would even be able to tell the head to have a glass of warm milk and go to bed.
Looking forward to the exhibition pillow fight - inspired idea.

#167: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 7:54 pm

*thinking*

*just makes it out of the HM's study before bursting into a wild fit of giggles*

#168: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 8:27 pm

So we have a report of English tea at Joey's and two reports of a proper Chalet School pillow fight to come, Very Happy

#169: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 8:37 pm

Ellie wrote:

Are you volunteering Sarah?
Actually it would probably be fun, you would even be able to tell the head to have a glass of warm milk and go to bed.

I'm not volunteering for matron, but if anyone else fancies having power over KB Very Happy

#170: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:33 pm

*giggling out loud*

I love the way the mistresses' behaviour has deteriorated so ignominiously!

#171: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 10:10 pm

*wails*
KaaaaaaaaayBeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Last edited by Vikki on Fri Feb 27, 2004 11:01 pm; edited 2 times in total

#172: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 10:32 pm

Love it KB - worth waiting for! Laughing

#173: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 2:20 am

Have just caught up with a weeks worth of this so funny.

Looking forward to all the reports.

ETA Forgot to say agree the board was very slow Friday morning, I had to give up and go do something else.

#174: Author: Alex, Location: Home again

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 2:19 pm

I nominate Lesley as Matey.

*off to read Summer Term which arrived this morning instead of doing case studies*

#175: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 2:37 pm

Alex wrote:

I nominate Lesley as Matey.

Why thank you Alex! Twisted Evil

#176: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 2:53 pm

I second the proposal.

#177: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 3:40 pm

Oh definately, I've been saying for ages we need someone to dish out all this Castor Oil!

#178: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:07 pm

With which Joey will PatMac do tea?
*curious about her choice*
(if it is her choice)

Will Pim and Nell become totally schizoid?
*praise or condemnation today?*
(mischief & hang the consequences?)

What is Liss up to, keeping the staff sozzled?
Is KB in on it?
*increasingly suspicious*

Exhibition pillow fights ROFL

#179: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:15 pm

So when and where is this exhibition pillow fight? I haven't missed anything have I?

#180: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:18 pm

Do you think she will be requiring volunteers to show off their skill, or will it be the Head and SM?

#181: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:37 pm

Sorry KB! I hadn't written anything yesterday to post but you did a grand job - still chuckling at the somewhat indisposed Vikki and Matey!!

“Your visitors, Miss Bruce”, Clare Kennedy ushered in a pair of elderly but very upright women.
“Ah, ladies, it’s a great honour to have you here.” Miss Bruce was somewhat intimidated in the presence of such distinguished guests but tried valiantly to disguise her awe. “Will you join me for Kaffee und Kuchen?”
“We thought you’d never ask” smiled Miss Wilson as she accepted the proffered seat. Much older now than when she had taught at the Chalet School, Nell Wilson or “Bill” as she had been, was still as straight as ever, her athletic build unchanged except for a walking stick which she used to compensate for a slight limp. This was a legacy from a sprain many years before in the Tyrolean Alps and as she had aged she had succumbed to arthritis. Her hair too was now completely white but she had become accustomed to the poudre effect many years before after that dreadful episode when she and some of the girls had been forced to flee from the Nazis. Hilda Annersley, as tall and dignified as ever, took the other armchair. Her hair too, was flecked with grey but her eyes were as keen as ever and still without glasses! There had been much speculation as to whether she had taken to contact lenses but no one had been able to prove this one way or the other and naturally, no one dared to ask!

The ladies settled down to coffee and the luscious cakes that were so much part of the legacy of the school. They made idle chitchat about the weather, old girls and the current school, swapping stories and reminiscing about the old days. As the last crumbs were eaten and a final cup of coffee poured, KB felt it prudent to ask about the purpose of their visit.
“I take it this isn’t a social call?” she enquired carefully. Usually the two ex-Heads waited for an invitation to come to the School but on this occasion they had specifically requested an audience with Miss Bruce.
The visitors exchanged a fleeting look and it was Miss Annersley who replied.
“No, it isn’t,” she spoke slowly. “We were rather hoping that you would allow us to meet with two of your pupils.”
“Of course, may I ask why?”
“Absolutely and you’re very welcome to be present” said Miss Wilson with a glint in her eye before proceeding to explain just why the two retired headmistresses had deemed it critical to make the long journey to the school. KB raised her eyebrows as she listened to their account but said nothing until they had finished.
“I fully agree ladies” she said solemnly before buzzing for Clare and requesting that Ellie and Lesley be sent to the study immediately.

In the Senior Common Room, Lesley and Ellie reacted to the news that they were expected in the study in different ways. Lesley, with typical insouciance, shrugged her shoulders and suggested that she’d already been pulled in to see Brucie once this term so it was unlikely that she was in more trouble already. Ellie tried to adopt a similar devil-may-care attitude but suddenly lost all colour from her face and had to make a dash to the Splasheries where she was thoroughly and completely sick. She could think of nothing worse than the prospect of an interview with the Head and throughout her school career had avoided most of the troublemaking in her year for that very reason. It was a very pale and wan girl who accompanied Lesley to the Annexe and who tried to hide behind her as they were bidden inside.

Neither girl saw the two visitors as they curtsied and went to stand in front of the desk. Lesley clasped her hands firmly behind back while Ellie stood on one leg and rubbed the other foot up and down the back of her calf, a habit to which she always reverted at times of emotional stress. Miss Bruce permitted herself an inward smile. She was always amused by the many and varied ways in which the girls’ fear manifested itself. In fact, it never ceased to amaze her that not one girl had ever overbalanced whilst standing in such a precarious fashion. Mentally, she determined to try an experiment some time in the future to see for how long a girl could stand on one foot whilst awaiting retribution for their misdemeanours.

“Lesley, Esmeralda” began Miss Bruce, noting Ellie’s flinch at the use of her full name with some satisfaction. “I’ve asked you here because I have a couple of visitors who are very eager to make your acquaintance.”
The girls turned to be greeted with the stern aspects of both Miss Annersley and Miss Wilson. Their faces were a picture. Lesley’s jaw dropped and she lost the slight impudent air that she had assumed. It is on record that for some years she had fostered a whole-hearted admiration and almost adulation of Hilda Annersley and to finally meet that venerable lady, was a dream come true, whatever the circumstances. Ellie too, looked suitably gob-smacked and could feel herself beginning to shake. Fixing her gaze on the floor she studiously avoided eye contact with all three of her elders, particularly Miss Wilson, as it had suddenly become all too horribly clear exactly why she had been summoned. Glancing at her predecessors, Miss Bruce indicated that they should begin the interview before settling back in her chair. She suspected that she was going to enjoy the show.

“Esmeralda!” began Miss Wilson with a sarcastic edge to her voice that was all too familiar even if neither girl had personally experienced it before. “I’ve had the pleasure of reading your work, Tensions isn’t it?”
Ellie mumbled something incomprehensible in response that could have been a “yes”.
“A very … interesting … tale …” The pauses which Miss Wilson left between her words were ominous.
Ellie gulped and could feel the tears pricking at her eyelids.
“I was particularly intrigued by my untimely demise …” The tones were conversational but threatening.
A tear escaped and began to trickle down Ellie’s cheek. The suspense was too much for her.
“Oh, Miss Wilson, I’m so sorry” she sobbed. “Please believe me, I never intended to hurt you … really, I didn’t … I didn’t want to kill you off but the story just took off and I seemed to lose control of the characters …”
“As happens to every good author,” interjected Miss Annersley and Ellie looked up to see that Miss Wilson was watching her with sparkling eyes and a grin was playing around the corners of her mouth.
“I … I don’t understand …” she stammered and Lesley too, looked puzzled whilst all three Heads beamed at them in an exasperating manner before roaring with laughter.

“Oh, have some pity on them, Nell!” Hilda chided her friend gently as Lesley and Ellie shuffled uncomfortably amidst the hilarity.
“Girls, we’ve come here to thank you,” explained Miss Wilson as best she could amidst her chuckles. “Your drabbles have been a wonderful escape from the routine of retirement but more importantly, they’ve reminded Hilda and I of how much we mean to each other. We’ve led rather separate lives since our respective retirements and we’ve not been in contact with each other as much as we would have liked. Your story Ellie, made us think about how we would react if the other died and your story Lesley, beautifully captured the sense of loss tempered with beautiful memories of a very special friendship. We phoned each other, met up and realised how much we’d been missing. Consequently, Hilda is going to move in with me – it’s a good-sized cottage so there’s plenty of room for the two of us and we can still have guests so both of you are welcome to stay with us at any time …”
Lesley and Ellie stared at her wide-eyed. An open invitation to the Heads’ cottage – what a privilege!
“Can we really?” In the excitement Lesley forgot herself.
“You certainly may” corrected Hilda with a smile, “It would be our pleasure, now, be off with you! Miss Wilson and I have plenty to discuss with Miss Bruce.”
Bobbing curtseys, the girls left the room rapidly and hurried to the Common Room to impart their good news and to enjoy the envy of the others.

Hilda turned to KB. “That offer is also open to you and all the other staff, of course, Katherine” she smiled.
“Thank you very much, Hilda”, replied KB, “I hope you realise that you’re going to be very busy ladies, particularly at weekends!”
“We hope to be” grinned Nell, “We’ve been quiet for far too long and we’re both quite determined to relive our youth!”
“Good for you! And ladies, I think this calls for a celebration …” KB rose to the cabinet and returned with three glasses, some ice and a bottle of Baileys which she quickly and expertly poured.
“Cheers!” they cried in unison as they clinked glasses.

#182: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:49 pm

How lovely, I'm glad to see Nell and Hilda realising the importance of their friendship. Lucky Lesley for meeting her.

However, I do think Hilda has had laser eye treatment Wink

#183: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:50 pm

Awww, that was really sweet - what a nice reward for Lesley!

#184: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 5:32 pm

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

You may get the idea from that of just how much I liked that one!!!! Laughing

Rachael that was lovely. Embarassed

Last edited by Lesley on Sat Feb 28, 2004 5:39 pm; edited 1 time in total

#185: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 5:35 pm

Not fair, Ellie has been just as nasty to Jo as I have, and she gets to go and stay with my heroine for the weekend!

Sulking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#186: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 5:41 pm

*Lesley going to dorm with Ellie to pack for the weekend!* Laughing

#187: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 7:05 pm

Awwwww. That was sweet Very Happy

#188: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 8:25 pm

Awww! Thanks Rachael!!
KB, next bit please!!!!

#189: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 8:38 pm

What, no condemnation from Hilda for RCS?! What is she thinking of? She must be suffering from amnesia...
Oh, all right. I admit I'm jealous. Lesley and Es-mer-ald-a, have fun!

*off to sulk*

#190: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 9:08 pm

Lesley and Ellie are very lucky
*tries not to go green with envy*
bawling

*fails*

#191: Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 9:38 pm

OMG! I'm 3 pages behind and late for tea at Freudesheim. Rushing off to change into my velveteen and will post the results when I've recovered tomorrow.

*shaking with terror!*

#192: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:01 pm

SO, so , so jealous. Sad

Hope you both have good time on your visit.

That was great Rachael and very kind of you.

#193: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:17 pm

Thank you Rachael, that was lovely of you to do that - I have to admit I thought I was really in trouble when I first started reading that, but you have got my reactions so right, well maybe not the being sick part, but I would definitely be trying to hide behind Lesley, and I always tried to avoid getting into trouble, but what a wonderful, and in my case totally undeserved, reward.

*Goes off to throw clothes into case*

Oh, and Jennie, When have I ever [/i]tortured Joey?

#194: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 11:55 pm

That was great Rachael! Very Happy

#195: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sun Feb 29, 2004 2:48 am

Thank you Rachael that was brilliant.

#196: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sun Feb 29, 2004 1:01 pm

*Waiting for PatMac's account of her visit to Freudesheim*

#197: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Feb 29, 2004 2:44 pm

May I point your attention to that epic WIP, 'Tensions" Ellie? I distinctly remember seeing Jo displayed in a very bad light in that, AND you had her knocked on the head as well.

#198: Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Feb 29, 2004 4:22 pm

PatMac's repentance. Tea at Freudesheim, Part 1. (I can't write the report till I find out what happened)

PatMac made her way slowly down the stairs. Fetching her coat from the splashery, she stopped to check herself in the mirror. Her fair hair hung at either side of her face, ready to hide it when she leant forward. The dark circles under her eyes, the result of writing drabbles at 3 in the morning and the judicious use of a little pale make up to her normally rosy cheeks all combined to make her look pathetic. Just the effect she wanted.

She set off across the garden to the gate leading to Freudesheim, her shoulders drooping and every inch the repentant schoolgirl. Slowly, she made her way up the path to the house, fairly sure she was being watched from within. Should she be in tears? No, not yet. Save that for later. All she had to do was think of the Felicity drabble, right where Jo rejected Felix, that would be easy enough. Unbidden, the tears came anyway, poor Felix!

Her suspicion of being watched was confirmed as she reached the front door and it opened without her knock. It was the first time she had seen Mrs Maynard up close. “must remember to call her that and not Jo or old ratbag” thought PatMac.

Joey Maynard, 5’8” in her stocking feet stood before her. PatMac’s eyes fell on a pair of pink slippers with supposedly cute bunny rabbits on them, her eyes followed up the wrinkled lisle stockings to mid calf where a brown tweed skirt met her eyes. Rising still further, her eyes were blinded by the bright lime green twinset, once fitted but now baggy from many washings. Still further, her eyes rose to the string of pearls, supposedly from Belsornia and eventually she saw the face. A face mottled and weatherbeaten from years of exposure to the cold and damp without any moisturizer. A thin, rather petulant mouth and dark eyes, The eyes! PatMac saw them soften in pity and realised that pathetic had been the right approach. The dark hair, in those old fashioned earphones was impossibly black!

“Come in, do. You’ll catch your death of cold out here.” Mrs Maynard exclaimed, grabbing PatMac’s wrist with a boney hand. Pulling her into the large but shabby hall, she proceeded to divest the girl of her coat and scarf as if she was 3 years old.

“Have you got your slippers? Yes, well put them on. Do you want me to untie your laces for you?”

PatMac pulled herself together and replied, “No thank you Mrs Maynard, I can manage.”

“Right well hurry up then and we can go into the saal where there is a nice fire. We can be cosy in there and, once Anna has brought English tea, we won’t be disturbed.”

They entered the saal and Mrs Maynard drew PatMac onto the big lumpy sofa beside her.

#199: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Feb 29, 2004 4:32 pm

Wonderful start to this, PatMac.

#200: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Sun Feb 29, 2004 4:50 pm