The CBB :: View topic - Poor Flowers

#1: Poor Flowers Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:40 pm

The “Poor Flowers” were in their usual positions, smelling salts at the ready.
“Oh for a man!” gushed Vikki, wafting onto a chair.
“Oh for a doctor!” reproved Lesley, languidly lying back on her faux fur throw.
“Oh of course,” gushed Vikki in reply. Gushing was all Vikki was capable of at present.

Emily threw back the door to the secret chamber where the “Poor Flowers” lived. “It’s happened!” she announced in solemn tones.
“Truly?” asked Lisa, clasping her hands together. “The prophecy has come true?”
“If I have read the portents correctly, which I have, then yes, the prophecy really has come true!” replied Emily, nearly swooning with emotion.
Lesley hastened to waft her smelling salts beneath Emily’s nose before speaking.
“Then ladies, it is time to prepare!”
The “Poor Flowers” made their ways carefully to the preparation chamber, dressing with great care and applying their make-up with undue precision. The prophecy had come true!

“Yes, I knew at once that we would be in great demand,” drawled Mathew. “You see, these poor little girlies lead such a sheltered existence - now we are here in numbers, we can use our big strong muscles and superior brain power to protect them,”
“And of course, we can use our contacts to fix them all up with nice doctor pals - poor little flowers - so long alone and unmarried.” James added with a chauvinistic sneer.
Damien joined in, “The girlies will all be so pleased to see us.”
Darren, Senji and Thomas said nothing, but nodded in firm agreement.

“Ladies! Are you all prepared?” It was the voice of “Poor Flower” herself. “Is everything in readiness?”
“Yes Rachel - I mean “Poor Flower. Everything is just as you said it should be,” responded Vikki.
“Excellent! To Emily and Vikki, I give you the duty of greeting our guests at the entrance to the chamber. Be modest dear children, and placid and you shall have your reward!” Vikki nearly swooned with pleasure at being granted this esteemed position, but Emily helped her to remain upright and the two went slowly out of the chamber to take up their position.
“Sugar!”
Sugar jumped, but replied quietly, “I’m ready.”
“To you I give the duty of preparing the feast for our guests. Make it the best feast ever child, and remember to use your feminine wiles to make the most of this opportunity.” Sugar waved her own smelling salts under her nose before languidly moving off to do her duty.
“Lesley and Lisa, to you I grant the honour of preparing the chamber. I know you two have the modesty, charm and inspiration to decorate this room accordingly.”
Lesley and Lisa nearly expired on the spot with ecstasy before simpering off to get the most appropriate decorations they could find.

“Yes, I saw at once how it would be,” remarked Mathew. “I mean, 265 women and only us six men to be strong protectors? I knew how much they would fight over us.”
The other five guys nodded their heads in agreement. They were all male and they all knew the rules - women need men, they were men, ergo, they were needed by the women of the “Poor Flowers”.

The six arrived at the entrance to the chamber and were met by Vikki and Emily. They were gravely escorted to the stunningly decorated chamber, and served refreshments by Sugar.

“It is time to begin the ceremony!“ intoned the voice of the “Poor Flower”.
“Ladies, let the ceremony commence!”
“What ceremony?” asked James in alarm. “I didn’t bring my suit!”
“Isn’t this a little sudden?” asked Mathew with a smug grin. “I knew I would be in demand, but at least let’s have one date first!”

The voice continued intoning.
“The prophecy has reached fulfilment. It is time to carry out the instructions.”
“What prophecy?” asked Darren suspiciously.
“The prophecy of the “Poor Flowers”, replied the voice. “According to the prophecy, when the sixth male joins and St Swithun’s day has passed, it is time to sacrifice the male blood for the satiating of the TEM.”

“This does not sound good!” whispered Thomas.

The remains were found, for ironies sake, in a dumpster outside Winchester Cathedral.

Last edited by Rachel on Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:45 pm

*sniggers conspiritorially!*

#3: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:49 pm

In case anyone is wondering, the inspiration for this madness can be found HERE

Scroll about half way down until you see it all kick off . . .

#4: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:51 pm

Darren, Thomas, Senji, Matthew, Rachel's Little Helper and James?

#5: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:53 pm

I knew my post would bring about a reaction, but maybe not this extreme! Laughing

And I only joined the board last week and I'm already in a drabble! Pretty good going I would say! Laughing

#6: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:55 pm

Good, was going to get wildly indignant about saying the line we need doctors! But am more than satisfied with the ending!

Thanks Rachel! Wink

#7: Author: Senji, Location: Cambridge, UK

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:56 pm

Did I hear someone talking about me? Very Happy

#8: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:57 pm

Matthew, my lamb, you will learn to expect this type of reaction from our resident witch........... Wink

#9: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:00 pm

I'm enjoying it! Just wondering what to say next to get you all riled up again! Laughing

#10: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:02 pm

Matthew, this isn't riled!

This is merely playing with my food.

#11: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:07 pm

So presumably the remains in the dumpster were the gristly boney bits that were left after you had dined? Wink

#12: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:09 pm

LOL at Rachel!!

ETA: LOL at Ellie too!

#13: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:23 pm

ROFL!!! Vintage RTW. What went with it, Rachel? What's your current favourite accompaniment/ condiment?

*visions of RTW in subway, asking for a deli with a nice tender portion of male CBBer microwaved, with lettuce, tomato, onions, and a splash of mint sauce*

#14: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:26 pm

I can only say that you are all extremely sick and twisted! I feel like this is a home from home! Laughing

#15: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:28 pm

My dear Matthew (in best HA fashion) do you mean to tell me you're only just discovering that? It looks to me like you're a little confused, sweetie pie, and that you should be included in RTW's drabble as a 'poor flower' yourself!
*snigger*
*giggle*

#16: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:28 pm

waits for the rest!

#17: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:29 pm

Need I say more? *sharpens scalpel*

#18: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:35 pm

you ate my husband....Can you collect Life insurance for that ???? Confused

Will have to get Darren to read this once he's let free off the jam making in the kitchen Twisted Evil

Excellent drabble RTW ROFL

#19: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:38 pm

That wouldn't be strawberry jam would it, Kathye?
*wondering how many people Kathye and Darren have killed today*

#20: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:42 pm

Oh dear. I think i'm going to have to retire from serious drabble writing. It's impossible to do when reading these ones during breaks. They keep creeping into my drabbles!

*eyes the Poor Flower costume with dislike*

#21: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:44 pm

I think it's rather fetching, Lulie. Maybe we should bring 'em to SG!

#22: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:47 pm

Oh no, they'd suit Darren, Thomas, Senji, Matthew, Rachel's Little Helper and James much more than they'd suit us, Lisa dear. Razz

#23: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:49 pm

Of course! With mega flower heads....
*vivid memories of wearing a cardboard 'rose' on my head in a primary school play*

#24: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:52 pm

Of all the evil suggestions that is the worst. Though maybe in return you could spend a night out at my local heavy rock club! Laughing

(imagines the shock and horror at the appearance of some of the people there)

#25: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:54 pm

Matthew, darling, I'm an ex-drama student. Nothing about anybody's appearance shocks or horrifies me any more!!

#26: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:55 pm

I'll do that with pleasure, Matthew. *evil grin* Hasn't anyone told you I'm profoundly deaf? Apart from some vibrations, that won't bother me too much!
ROFL

Can't answer for Lulie though! Twisted Evil

#27: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:00 am

Don't worry about me, Lisa. My sister and quite a few of my friends were/are into rock. I'm immune, having been brought up to it!

#28: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:02 am

*g* See? We're immune! ROFL

(good word that, Lulie)

#29: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:03 am

Lulie wrote:

Don't worry about me, Lisa. My sister and quite a few of my friends were/are into rock. I'm immune, having been brought up to it!

I like that 'immune'. Rock music is the finest form of music around and some of the most beautiful songs of all time are rock tracks. At least in my opinion they are anyway!

#30: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:05 am

Uh-huh. Whatever you say, petal!

#31: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:05 am

*looks cautious* It does depend on the track!

*confesses to a liking for some rock music, but not all!*

#32: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:07 am

I don't really mind. For private listening, I prefer a strong vocal (ie, one that isn't drowned out by the soundtrack/beat) but when I'm out i like a strong beat cos i take my aids out and then i can't hear the vocals anyhow

#33: Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:07 am

Great drabble, Rachel! A sort of targeted continuation of Holocaust! I think you were quite mild compared with what you and Carolyn did to us all in that drabble!

#34: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:09 am

And it that case there wasn't even any provocation! Rachel, I think you're mellowing..

#35: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:10 am

Lisa_T wrote:

For me to like any band they've got to have a good, stong vocalist. Otherwise, how can you sing along! Laughing

#36: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:12 am

Agrees with Lisa and Matthew - although I'm not sure my singing would be much appreciated. I hate so called music that is just aimless noise and the "singer" wails at you

#37: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:15 am

*Agrees with many of the previous comments!*

#38: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:16 am

*g* How true.
The one that annoyed me was the lyrics vs the vocals of 'Jesus to a child'- it took a while to follow cos the vocals are split differently than the written version, and when you tried to follow the written version you got horribly and hopelessly lost!

#39: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 4:29 am

Matthew! What have you done? Shocked

Just when RTW's cannibalistic tendencies were in remission!

*wonders how many more will be pushed over the edge*
*contemplates Lesley's teaching on bilateral orchidectomies and other topics germane to Poor Flowers*

#40: Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 7:00 am

*rendered speechless* Shocked

I don't know where you get these ideas from, RTW, but long may it continue!! BTW, is this the revenge for Frankie, or can we expect something else...

#41: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:29 am

Nicole wrote:

BTW, is this the revenge for Frankie, or can we expect something else...

Oh no, I had actually started writing this before Lisa posted Frankie. That's why she called hers a pre-emptive strike.

The revenge is yet to happen . . .

#42: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:41 am

* pleased to see that RTW is just warming up ...*

#43: Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:45 am

Oooh goody!!

*waits for the promised revenge patiently*

#44: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 10:59 am

Excellent, and its good to know there are successful ways of dealing with the TEM

*Looking forward to Rachel's revenge*

#45: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:13 am

I nearly got thrown out of the library there, Rachel. Lovely, I do hope poor Matthew isn't cringing with terminal embarrassment at that.

#46: Author: Senji, Location: Cambridge, UK

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:14 pm

Ally wrote:

Excellent, and its good to know there are successful ways of dealing with the TEM

I'd prefer a ... safer ... way, thank-you... Razz

#47: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 1:22 pm

Kathye wrote:

you ate my husband....Can you collect Life insurance for that ????

*ROFL*

#48: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:58 pm

ROFL!

Excellent Rachel!

*wonders where Matthew's heavy rock club is*

#49: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 6:11 pm

It's Edwards No. 8 in Birmingham. If you ever fancy a different night out of a weekend just head there. Though if you lot turned up, I think the club would be empty within 2 minutes! Laughing

And I'm not embarassed at all, I would have been dissapointed if there hadn't been a reaction! Very Happy

#50: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 6:42 pm

Matthew wrote:

Though if you lot turned up, I think the club would be empty within 2 minutes!

The sight of RTW munching on someone's leg would probably have that effect, yes...

#51: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 6:53 pm

Matthew wrote:

It's Edwards No. 8 in Birmingham. If you ever fancy a different night out of a weekend just head there.

well I would, but I'm perfectly happy with the Krazy House here in Liverpool thanks! Very Happy

#52: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:37 pm

*giggles hysterically*

Oh, I stumbled onto this from the thread in Profiles and got such funny looks (I was at work on lunch!)

I'm not sure I could be a Poor Flower though, I've been a squirrel once though..........

JackieJ

#53: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 10:47 pm

*splutters indignantly* Well! you lot are bloodthirsty! You mean you actually want Rachel to do sommat nasty? bawling

On second thoughts, don't answer that. And she may have her revenge, but there's nothing stopping me from retaliating... Laughing

#54: Author: James,

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 10:49 pm

I'd comment, but I got about eight lines in and am too scared to read the rest!

#55: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:02 pm

James, I am shocked by such an exhibition of spinelessjellyfishism!!!!!! Shocked

#56: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:02 pm

Wonderful Rachel, absolute vintage. Looking forward to the next one.

#57: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:05 pm

Especially from one of the males who were going to protect us Poor Flowers, eh Vikki? Wink

#58: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:09 pm

It is SHOCKING Lisa!!!!

#59: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:13 pm

Unquestionably. *still dying to see James and co dressed as PFs- maybe shrinking violets would be appropriate?* Laughing

#60: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:20 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

*still dying to see James and co dressed as PFs- maybe shrinking violets would be appropriate?* Laughing

The cheek of these women! Very Happy

I'm no shrinking violet, and I'm not certainly not afraid of what any of you may post about me! (looks over shoulder to see if RTW is watching)

#61: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:28 pm

Well that's just asking for it. Maybe we'll all oblige sometime, notably our horror queen! Twisted Evil

#62: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:32 pm

I'll look forward to it! Laughing

Though if you go too far I might be forced to start posting revenge drabbles (I can write drabbles you know! Very Happy

)

#63: Author: Emily, Location: Munchkinland

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:33 pm

So we've heard! Where are they?

#64: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:37 pm

You'll just have to wait and see! Very Happy

Anyway I thought I'd master the art of yibbling first! Laughing

#65: Author: Emily, Location: Munchkinland

Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:48 pm

You seem to be learning quickly!

#66: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:11 am

James, we know where you live, be afraid, be very afraid!

#67: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 7:11 pm

*spluttering at Jennie's atavar* Shame it didn't say maternity ward, Jennie...

*waves weapons threateningly at James & Co.*

#68: Author: MoominPapa, Location: West London

Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:51 pm

4 Tins of the Rasberry Jam all finished - looks like I am as well!

Rachel you've killed me before I'd perfected my cloning technique, I was working on a set of Dr Jacks to go round... I estimated that I need about 300 to meet demand (I've been inspired by Star Wars epII).

#69: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 11:30 pm

MoominPapa wrote:

4 Tins of the Rasberry Jam all finished - looks like I am as well!

*ROFL*

#70: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:09 pm

*spluttering with mirth*

can't leave you lot alone for two minutes can I? I just go off for a week and see what happens...

#71: Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 2:34 am

*Enjoying a giggle during mid-insomnia session*

I think you should explain yourself Matthew, when you say your club would empty in minutes if we all turned up! Because we'd all look so prim or so scary?? What do you take us for?? Twisted Evil

By the way, what rock bands do you like then?

RTW please think if a way to continue this - can't the deceaseds' spirits come back to haunt us? Good fun!

By the way, lads - don't feel pressured/ganged up on/ridiculed in any way. We all love you really. Twisted Evil

#72: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 2:46 pm

You're all so scary, I can barely find the courage to talk to you online and thats when I can't see you! Wink

As for favourite bands go I'd say: Alice In Chains, Audioslave, Live, Warrior Soul, Guns N Roses & Metallica (anything before Load)

The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles

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