The CBB :: View topic - “Once more into the breach, dear Jo!”

#1: “Once more into the breach, dear Jo!” Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:15 pm

Well, here’s another attempt at drabbling. For anybody who was kind enough to read “Jem’s proposal”, may I take this opportunity to apologise for the similarity in style and tone; I’m not really used to writing fiction. Also apologies for the appalling title - I hate misquotes, but was really struggling to think of something to call it that wouldn’t give the painfully thin plot away at the very start! (Suggestions on a postcard please!)
I'd really really appreciate feedback, as I'm far from confident with this one. Anyway, enough waffle, and on to the drabble:

“Oh, Joey, is that you? Thank heaven!”
“Hilda? Yes, of course it’s me! Who else would be answering the private line between the school and my house that has become a necessary expenditure on the school’s annual budget? I know I live with at least thirteen other people at any given moment, but you know I always contrive to answer this phone!”
“Jo, do be serious, please! I need your help”
“Well, I’d gathered that - why else would you have called the bat phone?” answered Jo gaily. “What’s the trouble? Have you a difficult new girl for me to reform, despite the fact that I’m only in my early twenties – I’m a little vague about my exact age, to be honest - and have no training whatsoever in social work or counselling? I hope you’re not expecting me to tackle Betty Wynne-Davis, because all we can do there is wonder why we haven't expelled her yet. She seems to be a thoroughly Bad Egg - a Captain Carrick, if you will, or a Frau Berlin...”
“A who?!” asked Hilda, momentarily distracted from her troubles – and incidentally, her command of English grammar; a sure sign she was upset.
“Of course, I’d forgotten - they were before your time, my dear”, returned Jo in her usual insouciant manner. “Come to tea with me tomorrow,” she invited, “and we can eat vast quantities of cream cakes whilst I tell you.”
The invitation recalled the stately head of the Chalet School to the reason for her call. “I don’t think I’ll be able to, Joey. I’m not sure you’ll want me when I tell you why we need you - can you come over here right away?”
“Of course, Hilda - but...but what’s the matter? There’s nothing wrong with my Robin, is there - or Daisy-girl?” asked Jo, a suddenly frantic note in her golden, always-worth-mentioning-in-passing voice. Hilda hastened to reassure her: “No, no, they’re both fine. It’s something almost as serious though. No, I’ll tell you everything when we get here - hurry, Jo, please. We don’t even have time for a paragraph about your continued involvement in the school, and tendency to act like a schoolgirl despite your age, marriage and elevation to motherhood.”
“Gosh, it must be serious – I’m on my way”.

#2: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:28 pm

This promises to be extremely interesting, Beth! Please continue!!

#3: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:33 pm

Intriguing start. Please continue, Beth!

#4: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:34 pm

It's really good already! More would be much appreciated by the masses Very Happy

(well, me and Gem, anyway!)

#5: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:40 pm

Very interesting, I would love more! Very Happy

#6: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:50 pm

I'm appreciative as well.

#7: Re: “Once more into the breach, dear Jo!&#8221 Author: ellend, Location: Bow, London

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 9:40 pm

Quote:

We don’t even have time for a paragraph about your continued involvement in the school, and tendency to act like a schoolgirl despite your age, marriage and elevation to motherhood.”
“Gosh, it must be serious – I’m on my way”.

This made bit made me laugh - so the feedback is I'd like more.

Ellen

#8: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:02 pm

Well, with her having Robin, is it any wonder that Joey's starting to think that she's Batman?

This is a giggle, can't wait for more.

JackieJ

#9: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:40 pm

LOL!
This looks brilliant!!!!

#10: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 11:58 pm

Ooh, lots of potential in this one!

Bat phone? ROFL

*suddenly envisions Anna as Alfred the loyal butler*

#11: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 12:40 pm

Beth, this is wonderful and so funny! Laughing

Please please carry on!

#12: Author: Dreaming Marianne, Location: Devon

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 12:45 pm

yes more please!

#13: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 1:08 pm

I for one am very pleased it is similar in 'style and tone'. That was hilarious and this is too!

Yes, more please.

#14: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 1:51 pm

Fantastic! More of this please! I could do with a laugh.

#15: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 2:01 pm

*waves placard bearing the word 'MORE'*

...how's that for feedback?

#16: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 2:43 pm

Thanks Beth, really hilarious. Waint patiently to see the meeting in the study.

#17: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 8:34 pm

Beth, I'm intrigued - please add to this! Laughing

#18: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:32 pm

Thank you all for the feedback - please keep it coming, it's very encouraging!

A bare indented paragraph later, Jo arrived at Plas Howell, the noble home of the infamous Chalet School. Gathering up the basket filled with her precious triplet babies she rushed up the steps, and positively hurtled to the door of the library - Miss Annersley’s study. Once there, she paused to collect herself, and slipped into the room, where she found the head mistress ensconced with her most senior member of staff, Miss Wilson, and her secretary, Rosalie Dene, who usually contrived to be present on such occasions, to ensure that her existence - and status as an Old Girl - was not forgotten.
“Joey! Thank goodness you’re here!" cried Hilda. “But - why are you standing completely still, and staring into the middle distance?”
“I’m allowing time for the paragraph about your physical appearance and
amazing eyesight”, explained Jo.
“Oh, I see. Well, there isn’t time for that now. We don’t even have time to dole out the triplets, and coo over them as though we’ve never seen them before. Jo - the problem...it’s...it’s.....” Miss Annersley stopped, seemingly unable to go on. Nell Wilson decided it was time to lend a hand. “It’s Matey, Jo”, she said, bluntly. “She’s....well, she’s not been herself. We’re at our wits end; and because it’s wartime, we don’t have the entire medical staff of an enormous sanatorium at our beck and call, so there’s nobody to come and slip a little something into her hot milk. We were hoping you could think of something?”
Joey had turned white at the first mention of the much-feared, but much-loved Matron of her beloved school, and now the other occupants of the study watched as her eye sockets expanded, gradually extending down to her chin, until she was ‘all-eyes’. They were used to this phenomenon in her – Jo managed to trot out her party trick at least once every two books. She gulped, and then lifted her head with a funny little gesture that nobody was really sure they could describe, even if they were interested enough to attempt it, but word quotas must be met, hence the brief allusion.
“I’m sure it can’t be as bad as you think,” declared Jo. “In fact, I shall be very much surprised if I can’t jolt her back to her normal self using the triplets. I can let her hold all three at once, we can exclaim over their similarities in looks, and then I can make a comment about being glad their eyes are different, or I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. She’ll be enchanted, and we can all go back to normal. I might even throw in
the conversation about calling Jack and I ‘Papa’ and ‘Mamma’, for good measure.”
Hilda Annersley looked dubious at this speech, but had regained her normal self-control sufficiently to respond. “You may try, Joey, but I’m far from certain that it will work. I’m not sure you’ve completely grasped the situation, my dear.”
“Have some confidence!” quoth Jo. “I’ll go and see her now - is she in her room? She is? Right; get the nectar going, and break out your unending supply of chocolate biscuits, Hilda. I’m sure we’ll both be back before long.”

#19: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:37 pm

Love it Beth!!!!

More soon please!!

#20: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:49 pm

Fantastic Beth!

What a good job I shut the living room door before sitting down to catch up on the late-evening drabbling. I just laughed so loud at your latest post, that had the door been open I would have woken husband and all 3 children who are slumbering sweetly upstairs!

I especially enjoyed the part where Joey allows time for the paragraph about Hilda's physical appearance and amazing eyesight! Very Happy

Thankyou for a really good laugh before bed Laughing

#21: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:54 pm

Agrees with Helen about the need for solitude when reading this!

Will go chuckling happily to bed!

*Memo to self: do not read this in the office Wink

#22: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:54 pm

I love ALL of this, Beth, you pick up on the cliches soooo well! Fantastic line about Joey's "all eyes" look - and the way she lifts her head! ROFL

#23: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:58 pm

Love Jo pausing for the paragraph about Hilda, and that there wasn't time for them all to coo over the triplets!

Very intrigued as to exactly what is wrong with Matey.

#24: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:02 pm

Wonderful! I love Jo's party trick Very Happy

I hope Matey will be able to cope with the onslaught!

#25: Author: Miss Di, Location: Newcastle, NSW

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 4:28 am

Luckily no one is asleep here (or if they are they shouldn't be) so I haven't disturbed the office too much with my chortles!
When is the next installment due? Laughing

#26: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:44 am

This is hilarious, I want to see how it develops.

#27: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 5:34 pm

*giggling madly*

This is wonderful!

#28: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 7:26 pm

This is fabulous! More soon please Beth!

#29: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 7:27 pm

With these words, Jo breezed out of the study. The remaining trio looked at each other. “That’s Joey all over, isn’t it?” remarked Miss Wilson. Miss Annersley sighed. “Yes; and if anybody can help Matey, it’s Jo. Rosalie dear, will you ring the bell for tea? I appear to have lost the use of my limbs, and cannot reach the bell. I’m sure you won’t mind, though – after all, you’re used to being used for everything bar your secretarial skills!”
Rosalie Dene smiled, and moved to do the Head’s bidding, before leaving the room in her usual calm manner. She may not have had a speaking role in this scene, but she was confident that she had been represented well - after all, she was one of that exalted breed: an Old Girl.

#30: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 8:18 pm

Oh Beth! This is wonderful!

I very rarely laugh out loud when I'm reading but you have achieved it with both the last 2 posts

ROFL

#31: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:00 pm

It was only a short post but there were so many cliches!!!! Wonderful.

#32: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:26 pm

Beth wrote:

Rosalie dear, will you ring the bell for tea? I appear to have lost the use of my limbs, and cannot reach the bell.

Just love this line (in Red), it occurs so often and you never really take notice, I shall chuckle every time I read it now, inserting the following line in my head... ROFL

#33: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:33 am

Wonderful! Thank you, Beth!!

#34: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 11:02 am

Oh dear my sides ache from laughing. The books will never be the same again. Beth you have a wonderful gift! Thank you for such a good laugh.

#35: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 1:17 pm

Thank you, Beth, it's a hoot.

#36: Re: “Once more into the breach, dear Jo!” Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:03 pm

Beth wrote:

Just read all this is one go Beth and it is absolutely brilliant. You just manage to effortlessly (or so it seems) put in all the cliches that most of read without thinking too much about. The result is just laugh out loud excellence.

#37: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:38 pm

Brilliant. The line about Rosalie having to ring the bell was perfect

#38: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 4:10 pm

May I suggest a health warning on this drabble?

#39: Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 4:45 pm

Beth this is fantabulous! Very Happy

More please!!

#40: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 7:31 pm

Poor Rosalie - that just sums up her role!

More when you can, please.

#41: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:33 pm

Sorry I haven't added to this...I've been down at the other end of the island for the last couple of days, being a bridesmaid (which, incidently, was fabulous!); although it's only a 40 minute journey, horizons shrink when you live here, and it beccomes a Long Way. Hehe.
Anyway...I'll probably post some later today. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

#42: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:58 pm

Apologies for spreeing. I wasn't going to add any more, given that there are so many excellent drabbles going at the moment, but I've got the next bit on word, so I thought I'd whack it in and see how people felt.

Elsewhere, Joey was leaping up the graceful main staircase in a manner more suited to the schoolgirl she once was, than the responsible wife and mother she had become. If truth be told, she wasn’t really in the mood to be leaping, as she was tired, but it was important to her that there was a comment somewhere in the narrative referring to her youthful exuberance. She reached the head of the stairs and made her way swiftly to the small room that was the exclusive domain of the school’s much-feared but much-loved matron; remarkably, the fact that she was carrying three well-grown youngsters in a basket didn’t appear to slow her down at all. “I wonder what Hilda and Nell are making such a fuss about?” she thought. “Apart from anything else, do they not realise that I have the ultimate mystical healing power of the Triplets’ eyes? All it will take is for Matey to be allowed to hold them all together, she can exclaim that they look very alike, and I can point out that their eyes are all different colours. If she’s in a very poor state, I could even make a remark about not being able to tell them apart otherwise. We’ll all be sipping nectar-like coffee with scant regard for rationing before you can say ‘mysterious plot-device illness’!” The fact that she had just explained this to the folk in the study, and was therefore repeating herself didn’t seem ironic in the slightest to Joey; after all, her whole life was built around repeated storylines. So, thus, scheming happily, Jo reached her destination. The sight that awaited her, therefore, was a great shock.

#43: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:06 pm

Oooh, more drabble...... Laughing

I've always thought Parody's very tricky to do well, and you're managing it Beth Very Happy

Probably a bit soon for a chant, but could we have some more please?

JackieJ

#44: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:07 pm

Beth, you are not allowed to give this up, its hilarious and brilliant and most importantly I want to know whats wrong with Matey!!!!

#45: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:18 pm

Wonderful! Laughing

Beth -please, please don't give this up - it's fantastic.

#46: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:31 pm

Joins in the accolades. Parody IS so difficult to do well and you certainly have a gift!

Joins the requests for more (probably growing to a chant in the next post Wink

)

#47: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:47 pm

PLEASE carry on Beth!!!!!!!

This is hysterical!

#48: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 7:24 pm

ROFL

You can't give up on this - it's far far too good not to be continued

#49: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:07 pm

Please, please, PLEASE carry on Beth!

You are right, there are so many excellent drabbles going at the moment.

And this is one of them!

#50: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:21 am

Thanks Beth this is so funny.

You cannot leave it there. Please continue as soon as you are able.

#51: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 6:56 pm

Please please please (with a lime green knitted twinset on top) can we have some more drabble? This is great! Very Happy

#52: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 7:54 pm

Beth, don't give up on this, we love it.

#53: Author: Kelly, Location: Auckland, New Zealand

Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 8:13 pm

Parody is so hard to write, but you are doing a fantastic job of it.
I've been in fits with this
Really looking forward to more.

#54: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 2:18 pm

*slightly taken aback by response* Shocked

*wanders off to see if she can write some more*

*wonders if the story will be any the worse for being written entirely in asterisks*

*decides to have a go at chanting on another thread*

#55: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 2:20 pm

Beth wrote:

*slightly taken aback by response* Shocked

why??

after all this is one of the best drabbles on the board at the moment Very Happy

#56: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 2:22 pm

We all love it, so please write some more.

#57: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:06 pm

Beth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE - please!!!!!!!

drummer

this is fabby - just realised I haven't been singing my part in the chanting (imagines chanting a la Hogwarts' School Song Laughing

) (opts for a brisk marching tune)

#58: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:51 am

Joins Kirsty in the chanting

Opts for William Tell overture

#59: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 10:54 am

Joins in Chant

" Goes for the annoying teeny bopper style, hoping that we might get more story just to shut me up" Wink

#60: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:01 pm

Oh, wow! I've never been chanted at before! How exciting! Well, just for that, you may have some more story. A warning in advance though - I didn't actually set out to write a parody, it's just I read the odd phrase and it tickles me, so I write from that. This is descending rapidly into randomness, and away from parody - sorry if that's not what you want, it's just that's what's happened!

Matey sat in the corner of her room, huddled in the deepest recesses of an armchair, gently rocking back and forth, muttering to herself. So engrossed in her own thoughts was she, that she didn’t react when Jo barged into the room; she didn’t flinch when the latter dumped the basketful of children in the corner of the room, apparently disregarding the fact that small babies need to be supervised, and knelt at the older woman’s feet. Aghast, Joey tentatively laid her hand on Matey’s arm, and said “Matey dear, whatever’s the matter?”
Matron didn’t respond.
Jo tried a different tack: “I’ve brought the Triplets, Matey! Look, they all look very similar, but their eyes are different, thank heaven! Otherwise I don’t know what I’d…” Jo’s voice died away, as the enormity of the situation dawned on her.
“I don’t suppose you’d be interested by my decision to be called ‘Mamma’, would you?”
The faint note of desperation in her voice evidently succeeded in penetrating Matron’s stupor, where Joey’s inane burbling had failed. The elder woman turned her head, and seemed to focus for the first time on the slim figure at her feet. The dull eyes lightened as she realised who her visitor was. Miss Annersley’s earlier remark had held a great deal of truth; if anybody was capable of reaching Matron, that person was Jo Maynard. Joey was Matey’s darling, though wild horses wouldn’t have dragged it out of her. And it was true - the domestic doyenne of the Chalet school could resist wild horses; some of the staff, however, were beginning to feel that it was possible that the t-shirt she wore almost constantly, bearing the slogan: ‘Joey is my darling’, and the extensive range of related merchandise was a bit of a give-away. On this occasion however, she failed to treat her favourite with the customary terse but loving attitude. Instead, she clutched at Jo’s arm in the manner of one drowning, and gave a great gasp before bursting into noisy tears…

#61: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:19 pm

If you don't call that parody, I don't what is! I laughed at the T shirt and totally cracked up at the 'extensive range of related merchandise'

*Thinking of buying Jennie the T shirt for Christmas Shocked

*

*Ducks as flying objects head my way Wink

*

eta spelling (OK, wine related inability to type)

#62: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:58 pm

Thanks Beth! Much appreciated Very Happy

- as would more be! *contemplates further chanting*

#63: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 10:09 pm

Love the tee-shirt!!! Laughing

*Mini chant - just for practice really!*

#64: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:17 am

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

#65: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 12:15 pm

Wonderful! Laughing

So when do we get to find out what's wrong with Matey???

#66: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 1:33 pm

I am so glad you didn't abandon this Beth, it really is fab, and I really need to know what's wrong with Matey too! Has she torn her T-shirt?

#67: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 1:57 pm

Thank you Beth I just love the T-shirt and merchandise! Very Happy

*Starts another chant*

#68: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:02 pm

*chanting*

#69: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:51 pm

* also chanting *

eta *in a different key Twisted Evil

*

Last edited by patmac on Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

#70: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:52 pm

Joining in the chant.

#71: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 8:04 pm

*considering entering chant for Eurovision Song Contest*

#72: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 8:07 pm

It would probably win Surprised

And Beth - aaargh! Thought that was another bit! Rolling Eyes

#73: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 8:07 pm

Beth, I do not consider that to be more drabble, which is what we were chanting for!

#74: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 8:17 pm

Praps Joey needs to suggest a duet with Matey at Eurovision, surely that would cheer her up! Wink

And Beth, please post more!!

#75: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:37 pm

Some half an hour later, and Jo had succeeded in quieting the older woman’s sobs, and they were both ensconced in the comfortable armchairs they had conveniently found in the room, despite the repeated descriptions of the room as ‘tiny’, drinking hot milk. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” asked Jo. “After all, we both know that you’re bound to crack eventually. Everybody does. It’s the recognised effect of me succumbing at last to being Grown Up. I was mysteriously transformed from a heedless, rather tactless child into an all-knowing Super Old Girl. Tell me what the matter is,” she coaxed. Matron took a deep breath, before beginning on her tale of woe. Her voice still shook a little from the violence of the storm, for it would never do for somebody in Chalet-land to recover instantly from a little weep.
“They’re all just so healthy!” she burst out. “All of them! None of them even have the shadow of TB hanging over them! Do you know, Jo, we haven’t had even one mysterious illness all term; no strange rashes; I cannot find a single reason to needlessly dose even one child. There haven’t even been any overexcited or upset girls for me to put to bed with a quick kiss to prove that my bark is worse than my bite! And as for slipping something into their hot milk – forget it!”
Jo looked grave at this outburst. “Oh my dear!” she exclaimed. “No wonder you’re upset! I take it you’ve conducted a dental check?”
Matron nodded glumly. “I thought of that. After all, taking the girls to the dentist is bound to result in excitements of some kind, but sweet rationing is having a most lamentable effect on their oral hygiene. I can’t even be a tyrant on the domestic front; because the school is so much smaller, and I’ve established such a fearsome reputation, that the girls all keep their cubicles spotless; they have no illicit tuck, the beds are all perfectly stripped; their mattress humping skills are second to none; I can’t even find an illegal book in their shoe lockers, though heaven knows I’ve tried. In fact, Joey,” she concluded “I feel completely and utterly useless. I mean, the power of my mysterious glare has even started to fade! My glare, Joey, my glare! I’m lost without it!”
“Nonsense!” chided Jo. “Try it on me – imagine I’ve said something silly because I’m tired. Go on – glare!”
“I am glaring!” snapped Matey. “Can’t you tell?”
“Er…no. Oh dear. This is a problem, isn’t it?”

#76: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:40 pm

*speechless*

#77: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:43 pm

Note to self: do not read comic drabbles whilst drinking tea.

Absolutely brilliant Beth!

#78: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:49 pm

Poor Matey! ROFL

What can be done?

#79: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:53 pm

Brilliant!!!!

*how Matey lost her glare......*

#80: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:56 pm

That was wonderful. ROFL!! Razz

#81: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 10:01 pm

Fantastic!!!

I hope there's going to be LOTS more of this Laughing

#82: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:25 am

Giggling at this time of the morning will result in complaints from neighbours! Laughing

Poor Matey - what can be done?? She could try bullying the Staff perhaps? After all, even the stately headmistress obeyed the matron!

#83: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 10:47 am

Wonderful Beth thank you Very Happy

Poor Matey she's obviously been far too successful at her work, perhaps she needs to neglect them all for a while!

#84: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 11:09 am

Busy wiping her tea from the keyboard, and some has splashed on to the monitor!

#85: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 12:16 pm

*sobbing with laughter*

This is wonderful, Beth!!!

#86: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:53 pm

Fabulous! Wonderful! This so cheers me up when I need it.

#87: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 9:50 pm

It was some time later that the coterie in the study were summoned to the San by a rather bemused housemaid. They duly arrived, to be met by a scene quite unlike anything they had expected.

#88: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 10:18 pm

Which was...?!

#89: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 10:29 pm

Well???

Come on Beth, you can't leave it there!!

Can you.....???

#90: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 9:03 am

Beth!!! *wails incoherently*

What is with the cliffs on this board at the moment??!!! They're worse than they've ever been!

#91: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 12:35 pm

Is that why you've ricked your ankle, Gem?

I do agree, there's far too many cliffs at the moment. I feel like I'm in the Himalaya's

*Ponders starting the JackieJ school of abseiling, should get a lot of business with all these cliffs wandering about*

JackieJ

#92: Author: Richenda,

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 2:53 pm

Love this - speshly as I've just been reading 'at War' in which half of these phrases originally appeared - have been alternately snorting and chortling whilst reading

**Reminds self not to read this book in front of other half who already thinks I'm mad for reading kids books**

#93: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 3:10 pm

JackieJ wrote:

You most definitely should! I love abseiling! (But not too high, cos I don't like heights very much Embarassed

)

#94: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 4:09 pm

You can always use one of the drabble trampolines, Gem.

#95: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 4:42 pm

Joey Maynard lay in the high white bed on one side of the room; still, grey, and to all appearances - dead

#96: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 5:11 pm

BETH!

You are wicked Twisted Evil

#97: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 6:07 pm

Yay!!!!

*whoops with delight*

Wait, if Joey's dead, that means we can't laugh at Beth's interpretation of her! No, Beth, don't kill her!!!!!

ETA: Found the trampolines Jennie - I have very bad aim and I missed them last time! *bounces happily*

#98: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 7:12 pm

Mwuhahahaha!!!! Twisted Evil

#99: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 7:38 pm

#100: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 7:52 pm

Loving this! Laughing

Bet she's not really dead though!

#101: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 7:55 pm

Gem wrote:

ETA: Found the trampolines Jennie - I have very bad aim and I missed them last time! *bounces happily*

*Trampolines are fun! Move over, Gem!*

#102: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 8:21 pm

*falls off chair laughing*

MORE MORE MORE!!! Please *winning smile*

#103: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 11:32 pm

*smiles sweetly at Beth*
Pleeeeeeeeeeease post some more soon Bethy dear...... Wink

#104: Author: keren,

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 12:29 pm

Ellie wrote:

Loving this! Laughing

Bet she's not really dead though!

of all the times this phrase appeared in the books, did anyone actually die??

#105: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 12:37 pm

This is fantastic Beth! Please can we have some more? There are people in COT who need cheering up!

#106: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 5:16 pm

I was really hoping for more of this.

#107: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 6:55 pm

Meanwhile, Matron was leaping around the San with wild whoops of joy. Miss Annersley, Miss Wilson and Miss Dene were brought to a halt in the doorway, completely taken aback. With a little shake of the head, Miss Annersley came to her senses and swept into the room.
“What is the meaning of this?!” she demanded, her beautiful voice carrying to all corners of the room. However, because Matron was at that precise moment in the centre of the room, she didn’t hear her, and it took Nell Wilson’s strong arms around her before she could be brought to a standstill.
“Matey, what on earth has happened?” asked Nell. “What’s the matter with Joey? And you – you seem so much better yourself…what in heaven’s name has been happening? I’d be sarcastic, but Hilda’s in the room, and we all know she can beat me in the gentle irony stakes – so just tell us what has happened!”
Matron turned to her, an ecstatic glint in her eye. “Joey’s ill, Nell! Can’t you see that? She’s still, grey, and to all appearances…”
“Yes, yes, we can see that,” interrupted Miss Annersley. “What we want to know is why?”
“Well!” said Matron; and she began her tale…

#108: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 7:07 pm

I hope there's more to come tonight, please.

#109: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 8:17 pm

Love Nell's comment about not being able to be sarcastic.

Laughing

Love that Hilda's voice reached all corners but not Matey cos she was in the middle.

Laughing

Love this Beth!

#110: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 8:33 pm

Lesley wrote:

Love Nell's comment about not being able to be sarcastic.

Laughing

Love that Hilda's voice reached all corners but not Matey cos she was in the middle.

Laughing

Love this Beth!

'nuff said!!!

Thank you so much Beth - this is truly hysterical!

#111: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 9:14 pm

Teehee..... This is hysterical Beth. I've made a point of waiting 'til I'm at home to read it. They already think I'm mad in the office and I musn't give them an excuse to cart me off Very Happy

More please.

JackieJ

#112: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 9:44 pm

So kind of Jo to cheer Matey by going still, grey etc. Or did she succumb to Matey's glare after all? Very Happy

Hilda's unique talents with sound waves

#113: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 10:00 pm

Wonderful! I also love the bit about Hilda's voice Very Happy

#114: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:20 pm

Lovely thank you Beth.

#115: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:22 pm

Just excellent Beth

when do we get MORE?

please

#116: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 4:37 pm

Dawn wrote:

when do we get MORE?

please

Now, that's an interesting question! Not right now, that's for sure...I have to go and entertain about 20 small boys for an hour and a quarter! Hurray!

#117: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 4:46 pm

I thought that was an update! *sulks*

#118: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:03 pm

I'm quite emotional, because that's the last time I'll do Beavers regularly for years - and they gave me a lovely wee hot water bottle wearing a red jumper with a white heart, Crying or Very sad

This is good for you though, because it means I come over all soft and gooey, take pity on you, and post some more...

“When Jo came to see me,” explained Matron, “Something inside me burst, and I told her what has been bothering me. You see, the girls are all so healthy, so wrapped up in the war effort, that there has been practically nothing for me to do! I’ve been feeling so useless. I was even tempted to start being overbearing and nasty to the Robin, just so people would pay attention to me! But Jo (that’s Matron’s darling by the way – Ed.) managed to help me!”
“That’s all very well” interjected Nell. “And we’re terribly sorry that you’ve been so unhappy, but this doesn’t explain Jo’s illness. I mean, do we have to start singing, or what?”
“I was just coming to that!” cried Matron. “Joey – dear Joey – decided that there was only one way to make me feel better. She volunteered to have a near-death experience for me!”
“But that’s nonsense! Nobody can just have a near death experien…oh, I see” Nell’s hasty sentence died on her lips, as a glance from Hilda reminded her that this was Jo they were talking about.
“I see the logic,” – this last from Rosalie, who had become bored of being calm and collected in the corner of the room – “but we’re not in Tyrol now, you know. There aren’t any frozen lakes, mountains, kidnapped princesses or runaway children to upset Jo. How exactly did you manage to upset her this much?”
Matron smiled; a slow smile of triumph - the smile of one who knew that her angels wings were perfectly starched and the milk was all dosed and ready to go. “It was simple,” she replied. “I just gave her a shock. First, I tried telling her that Rufus had got lost – her eyes started to go, but only a little. Then I told her that Madge Russell had been rushed to the San with a suspected glucose overdose – she went perfectly white, but nothing more. Then, inspiration struck!” Matron paused, and her eyes glazed over as she remembered that moment of complete success.
“Go on…” whispered Rosalie, completely entranced.
“I told her – oh, it’s almost too good! – I told her that, because of the war, the school had to be moved to a secret location. And that given her brush with the Gestapo, it had been deemed best that she should know nothing of its whereabouts. No more living on its doorstep, rushing over every ten minutes. No more reforming girls who wouldn’t settle down; no more tea parties for the new girls, and certainly no more of her endless drivel about being the first Chalet girl, and remaining a Chalet girl until her dotage! Well, that was it; she gave a lovely strangled gasp, and fell to the floor!”
Matron ended her tale with a quiet chuckle.
Her audience remained quite still, and silent, until Hilda spoke, very softly. “Genius, Matey. Pure genius”

#119: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:21 pm

Ah, so that's how you give Jo Maynard a near-death experience.

Is Matron now going to have to save her, otherwise she's still not done anything has she?

More please?

JackieJ

#120: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:25 pm

More, please!

ROFL

#121: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:48 pm

Yay for Matey, what a fantabulous idea, seems a shame to save Jo though after all that hard work! Twisted Evil

#122: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 8:48 pm

Well it would be a totally new experience wouldn't it - a near-death experience that resulted in a death. Laughing

Excellent.

#123: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 9:13 pm

*ROTFL!*

Perfect! Can soooo imagine Jo dying of horror at the thought!

#124: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 9:45 pm

Beth! You're a genius!!!!!!

#125: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:24 pm

Truly inspired, Beth!

#126: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 7:56 am

*giggling helplessly*

#127: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:11 am

Wonderful Beth. JOinging in the helpless giggling.

#128: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 3:21 pm

Miraculous, Beth.

#129: Author: claire, Location: South Wales

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 8:48 pm

wonderful Beth - I fully expect to see Robin singing in the next scene (maybe you could do new lyrics for the red sarafan)

#130: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 9:59 pm

claire wrote:

I fully expect to see Robin singing in the next scene (maybe you could do new lyrics for the red sarafan)

Don't hold your breath! I have been known to write songs, but they're very short, usually quite nursery-rhyme like, and very very very silly...

There's only one more installment of this to come, and I'm in the process of tweaking it; I'm determined to finish this before I go away next week!

#131: Author: Kate, Location: Ireland

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 8:17 am

Oooh, I want moooooore. I'm meant to be getting ready for college - first day back - but I'm reading this instead, And I don't want to stop.

#132: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 9:31 am

*silently shrieking with hysterical laughter*

#133: Author: urchin, Location: Anywhere but here...

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:43 pm

This is a truly dangerous thread to fall into late at night!

I needed something soothing and instead I am giggling hysterically in a heap.

*Wipes eyes*

Must go to bed!

This is wonderful

urchin

#134: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:05 pm

Have just read this in one go and I've been laughing all the way through. Superb!

#135: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 7:44 pm

Right people, here you go, this is the last bit - such as it is! I'm being dragged kicking and screaming off to uni tomorrow, so I'm glad I finished it in time. Feedback gratefully received!

“More coffee, Hilda?” It was Nell Wilson who spoke. After reassuring themselves that Jo hadn’t actually succumbed to that most conclusive of plot devices, and headed off to the great Splashery in the sky, and that Matron was once more happy and fulfilled, nursing her darling back to health, they had returned to the study, to enjoy a well-earned cup of nectar.
“Sorry?”
Nell laughed. “I said, would you like some more coffee? What on earth were you thinking so deeply about? Snap out of it, do – it doesn’t suit your peculiar style of beauty.”
“Nothing really. I was just reflecting that this was my favourite part of the narrative – that part where we have solved our immediate problem, and depending how close to the end the book we reached, we either have a jolly good show of sentiment, and cry ‘long live the Chalet School’, or something similar; or we’re interrupted by another crisis.”
This was the cue Rosalie had been waiting for. She had been listening at the door of the study for some time, years of practise having made her expert at judging the appropriate moment to make her entrance – her reputation for perfect timing was not entirely down to chance. She tapped unobtrusively at the door, and in answer to Hilda’s “Come in!”, slipped into the room to say apologetically “I’m sorry to bother you, but a couple of things have occurred to me. Firstly, I was wondering if you wanted me to find the Robin, so that she can sing to rouse Joey from her coma?”
Nell answered for both mistresses. “I don’t think so, Rosalie – it’s probably best if we leave this one entirely to Matey.”
“That’s what I thought. The other thing was the triplets. Obviously, if Matey is nursing Joey back to health, she’s got her hands full, and that means there’s nobody to take care of the babies. We three are only really up to crooning, at least until they reach school age.”
Hilda looked perplexed. “That does leave us with something of a problem. Any suggestions, you two?”
“We should ask Jo!” exclaimed Nell. “That’s what we usually do, isn’t it? Oh…but I suppose that’s a little difficult, isn’t it?”
“I did have one thought,” ventured Rosalie. “I thought that given Jo has a faithful servant back at home, perhaps she could look after them? I’ve taken the liberty of parcelling them up in a packaging case; it’s all addressed and ready to send off. I’ve addressed it to ‘Anna, Plas Gwyn, Howells Village’. I didn’t think I needed to put her surname on it, not least because I’m not sure she has one.”
“I don’t think she has, dear,” replied Hilda. “At least, she does, but Joey’s Faithful Handmaiden is a bit of a handful, isn’t it? And of course, there’s the whole ‘to hyphenate or not to hyphenate’ debate to contend with. Thank-you, Rosalie, posting the babies home does seem to be the most sensible solution. You’re such a help, dear -
quite the perfect secretary!”
Rosalie’s blushes were saved by Nell’s next comment. “It’s only to be expected, Hilda old thing – after all, she is an Old Girl!”
“How true!” replied Miss Annersley. And with full hearts, the three forgot their dignity in order to follow that time-honoured tradition – randomly leaping on to chairs and exclaiming “Long Live the Chalet School!”

#136: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 7:52 pm

LOL Beth.... that was wonderful. Please write another drabble soon.

Laughing

JackieJ

#137: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 7:53 pm

Its finished Crying

I loved it Beth thank you, and enjoy Uni!!!

Laughing

#138: Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 7:57 pm

Beth that was great! I was giggling all the way through that. Hope to see more of your writing soon Very Happy

#139: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:05 pm

Love it - posting the trips back home!!!

Thank you Beth - don't take too long before writing another - good luck at uni!

#140: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:19 pm

*giggling helplessly*

Thanks Beth Very Happy

#141: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 9:24 pm

*laughing so loud that the neighbours must be able to hear!*

Beth, this was just fabulous. I'm so sorry it had to end! Please do another parody some time, you hit all the nails right on the head. Smile

#142: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 10:14 pm

Such a good parody! Every time I come across some of those phrases again, I shall giggle!

Yes, please do write some more when you can.

#143: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 10:49 pm

*giggling wildly*

Beth, that was perfect!!!
Laughing

and have a great time at uni!!!

#144: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:17 am

*laughs heartily*

Thanks Beth, just what I needed!

Good luck with the move...

#145: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 9:55 am

Thankyou Beth, that was great!

Love the part about Anna's surname!!

Eagerly awaiting your next parody... you are brilliant at this!

And... have fun at uni!

#146: Author: Elzbie, Location: London

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 11:20 am

Beth, that was brilliant! Hows about another one soon....

#147: Author: keren,

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:44 pm

Is there any CS book that does not end "now she was (or was becoming) a real CS girl?

(actually a serious question, is there?)

#148: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 1:53 pm

Most amusing, Beth ! ROFL

*hopes to see more in the future*

#149: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 3:10 pm

Wonderful Beth thankyou. So sorry to see this end.

Hope you enjoy life at uni!

#150: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2004 9:26 am

Thanks Beth! *still giggling*

Have a great time at uni Very Happy

#151: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 10:31 am

Great, Beth, a giggle the whole way through.

Best of luck at uni.

#152: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:13 pm

This is great Beth

Can we have a sequel !

Preferably soon Laughing

Hope Uni goes really well, you'll have a great time. Just dont forget us and stop posting !

The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles

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