A New Girl at the Chalet School FCS
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1: A New Girl at the Chalet School FCS Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:04 pm

This is a satirical story about the Chalet School. It was inspired by Heather's parody of 'A Day in the Life of Joey Maynard'. I found it hilarious (well done Heather- I hope you don't mind me doing this). I came up with this after reading Heather's story. It's longer than I originally thought, but I'll stick with it and see how it goes Laughing

Also I apologise for any mistakes. I'm writing this off-the-cuff so to speak and so there may be minor (or major!) errors in it.


Chapter One

Nancy Wilmot flopped herself down in an armchair and sighed.
“Hard day?” asked Kathie Ferrars, her great friend, asked sympathetically.
“Oh, you know what the Third can be like,” Nancy replied. “All imps and full of trouble. A lesson can’t go by when something doesn’t happen. And of course, I teach mathematics- not one of the more favourable subjects. I should know- I hated it at school, but had a miraculous change of mind after I’d left and decided I wanted to teach it.”
“Never mind, my love, have one of Jeanne’s cups of coffee. That will restore you!” laughed Kathy.
As if on cue Mlle de Lachennais appeared with a mug full of steaming coffee. “Here you are, ma cherie. I’m sure you’ll find it up to my usual standard. Anything less than nectar-like is unacceptable. If it is not, I will make you another. Never mind my piles of work. People need my coffee more,” she smiled.
Nancy accepted it gratefully. “Thanks Jeanne, I needed that. By the way- has anyone taught that new girl yet? Esmeralda-Kate Delochanis? I hear she’s making quite a stir.”
“That she is,” replied Hilda Annersley, who was curled up in an armchair, reading Just William and ignoring her piles of essays. “In fact, I was thinking of asking Joey to have a chat with her, as usual in these situations.”
“Yes, that sounds like the best solution. No-one can communicate with people like our dear Jo can,” replied Nancy eagerly.

 

#2:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:07 pm

“But have you had a talk with her yet, ma cherie?” asked Mlle.
“Oh no, I’m leaving that to Joey, Jeanne. I mean, although I’m the Head, and people would say I should talk to a troubled pupil rather than pull an outsider into the situation, we all know how good Joey is with sorting out problem pupils. What on earth made you suggest that Jeanne? Are you feeling well?” Hilda scanned her friend’s face anxiously.
Mlle laughed. “Yes it was rather stupid of me to make a suggestion like that. As you say, ma cherie, maybe I should go and lie down for a while. I’m sure someone else can take over my classes.”
“Yes, we can ask Joey, if you like. I’m sure she’s not busy at the moment. And I’ll get Matey to make up a little concoction for you so you can sleep,” replied Hilda.
“What was that about me?” asked Matron, walking in to the staff room.
“Jeanne needs some sleep, and I think you had better slip something into some hot milk for her. I’m sure she won’t be able to get to sleep otherwise,” said Hilda.
“Good idea,” approved Matron. “Oh- have you seen that new girl anywhere? I need to give her some name tags for her clothes.”
“We were just talking about her,” chipped in Rosalind Moore, who was sitting in another armchair, ignoring her piles of work. “We think Joey needs to have a talk with her.”
“Yes, I was going to mention that to you,” replied Matron. “I also think we need Mary-Lou to get involved with the girl’s problems as well. It what we usually do isn’t it? And only Mary-Lou and Joey can do this sort of thing. The rest of us are just here to teach, or in my case, give the girls various lotions and potions and send them to sleep.”
“Good idea Matey! And now I’m off to ask Jo to take over Jeanne’s classes. Do you think she’ll mind? I mean she’s just had a third set of twins, but I’m sure Rosli can take care of them,” said Hilda.
“No need!” laughed Rosalind. “Nancy and I will sort out the classes between us, even though she teaches maths and I teach geography. Our languages aren’t too dusty are they? We’ll manage for one day!”
The rest of them laughed and wandered out to their various classes.

Last edited by Steph on Mon Jun 07, 2004 7:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#3:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:10 pm

This looks really good, Steph Very Happy Hope there's lots more...

 

#4:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:36 pm

Thanks caz Laughing here's a bit more for today.

Chapter Two

“Hello my dear! Come in, come in and make yourself comfortable!” Joey Maynard’s golden, sweet, choir-boy-like-but-with-something-extra voice rang out as she dragged Hilda into the hallway. “So glad you had time to come over and have a chat!”
“Well I did have to rearrange a couple of my classes, but once they found it was because I was coming to see you, they didn’t mind the inconvenience,” chuckled Hilda as she walked into the big salon and nearly skidded on the newly polished floorboards.
“Come and sit down,” invited Joey. “Look, here’s Bruno to see you!” as her big St. Bernard bounded into the room and jumped up at Hilda, nearly sending her flying again.
“Good to see you, young man!” said Hilda, as she delicately wiped saliva off her skirt.
“My Anna has just made some more cakes. The coffee won’t take a minute to do, I’m sure,” said Joey, ringing the bell.
A minute later Anna walked into the room, hidden behind a trolley piled high with all sorts of treats. “Well, you’ve done us proud this time, Anna!” gasped Hilda.
Anna smiled shyly and wandered out of the room back to the kitchen, to make more cakes for Abendessen.
“And how are the twins?” asked Hilda biting into her first honey-and-nut cake.
“Oh fine,” said Joey, breezily. “They are up in the nursery with their various brothers, sisters, cousins, and my latest adopted child. You can see them later. What was it you wanted to talk about? You sounded serious on the telephone.”

 

#5:  Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:38 pm

Laughing Hope you'll be posting soon!

 

#6:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:40 pm

*giggles madly*

 

#7:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 6:44 pm

*joins Rosie in giggling*

 

#8:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 7:31 pm

I want lots more of this, please.

 

#9:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 7:37 pm

Thanks for the encouragement everyone Laughing i've been able to write some more (hope I can hear screams of joy Wink )


Hilda nodded. “It’s about our new girl- Esmeralda-Kate Delochanis. She has some rather radical ideas she’s been telling the girls about.”
“Such as?” asked Jo, eating her third crumpet.
“Well, she scorns our ideas of marriage for a start. Says she’s going to have a career whether she’s married or not!” announced Hilda dramatically as she ate her fifth éclair.
“What?!” said Joey, sitting bolt upright and nearly upsetting her coffee. “But doesn’t she know that our girls don’t do that sort of thing?!”
“I gather they have been trying to tell her,” said Hilda, dryly. “Your Len has been trying to talk her round, but she’s having none of it. Esmeralda-Kate thinks that she can still work, even after she has married. Of course, we will do our best to change that silly idea.”
“What do you want me to do then?” said Joey, eating her ninth cream cake.
“Well, butt in as usual. I imagine a talk with you will set her on the right track.”

 

#10:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 7:40 pm

“But maybe I’m not the best example,” protested Jo. “I mean, I still write even though I have a family of thirteen plus various adopted children and nieces-by-marriage.”
“Yes but you’re the exception to the rule,” said Hilda gravely as she drank her eighth cup of coffee. “No-one else can do what you do Jo. Also, you manage to write books in what seems like only a couple of days, and no-one ever really sees you doing it anyway, as you’re usually talking to pupils, hanging around school or having babies. Anyway, your career keeps you at home. She wants to be a scientist and that would mean long hours away from home. Have a chat with her Jo, I have no doubt you can turn her into a Chalet girl. That’s what your best at!”
“Yes, I am rather aren’t I?” mused Jo. “Have some more coffee?”
“No thanks! I couldn’t eat another thing,” said Hilda, giving silent thanks that she had worn a skirt with an elastic waist. “Anyway, I must be getting back. I have the Sixth for English this afternoon. I’ll send that girl round tomorrow afternoon.”
“Righto!” said Jo, easily. “I was planning to spend time with my children but I’m sure another day with Rosli won’t make a difference to them.”
She waved Hilda off and wandered back to the salon to finish off the last few cakes. If anyone noticed weight being added to her slim frame, she would blame it on the constant child bearing, she decided.

 

#11:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 7:43 pm

*dutifully screams with joy - rather an impressive feat when also giggling madly!*

 

#12:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 7:45 pm

*snickering like a loon*

 

#13:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 10:32 pm

Quote:
“No thanks! I couldn’t eat another thing,” said Hilda, giving silent thanks that she had worn a skirt with an elastic waist.


and how many had she fed to Bruno?? Laughing Laughing Laughing

 

#14:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:14 am

Hilarious! Lots more, please.

 

#15:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:44 am

*splutters with laughter!*

 

#16:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 6:17 pm

Many thanks everyone!

I have a bit more for today Smile

Chapter Three

“Right Esmeralda-Kate I think that’s everything!” Rosalie Dene smiled down at her. She was met by a scowl.
“Why do I have to go?” asked Esmeralda-Kate, for the third time.
“Because that’s what all new girls do,” replied Rosalie briskly. “All the girls know and love Mrs Maynard and you will too. It’s all part of being a Chalet School girl. She was the first one you know.”
“So I’ve heard,” growled Esmeralda-Kate. “Doesn’t make her all that special.”
“Oh but it does!” cried Rosalie. “Joey is the Chalet School and all that it stands for. She is married to a doctor, has a big family, and was Head Girl here. What more could you ask for from a Chalet School girl?” Rosalie clasped her hands, her eyes shining.
Esmeralda-Kate gave her a startled glance. It seemed the Chalet School’s love for Joey amounted to almost mania. She made her way across the grounds to Freudesheim, Joey’s home.
Jo was on the look out and when she saw the girl making her way across the garden she opened the door and called her inside. Despite her bad mood, as she walked into the house Esmeralda-Kate couldn’t help but admire the room she was in.
Joey saw this and remarked: “Like it do you? It is quite cosy, I must say. Used to be a ballroom I believe. The rest of the house is just as nice. Of course, I’ve forgotten what some of it looks like now, what with the various wings for my family and adopted family. But still, it does us very nicely. Sit down won’t you? Oh here’s Bruno to see you.”
“Bruno?” replied Esmeralda-Kate, mystified.
“Oh yes, my St. Bernard. Stand by to repel borders!” replied Joey, as she retreated behind a chair.
Esmeralda-Kate stared at her. The next minute she was on the floor, having her face thoroughly washed by Bruno.

 

#17:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 6:21 pm

“He was presented to me by the school,” said Jo heaving Bruno away. “Quite a specimen isn’t he?”
Esmeralda-Kate nodded, gagging slightly at the smell of Bruno’s breath.
“I had another St. Bernard before him. He was called Rufus,” continued Joey, her eyes becoming slightly misty. “But he died a few years ago. Still, he lived to be twenty, which is some achievement as a St. Bernard’s lifespan is usually about half that! Anyway, enough about that. Would you like tea, coffee or chocolate? Éclairs, honey-and-nut cakes or cream cakes?”
“Coffee please. And an éclair,” replied Esmeralda-Kate.
“Have more than one my love! Eat until you feel sick, that’s what we usually do at Kaffee und Kuchen! So how’s school going? You making any friends yet? What’s your home life like?” asked Jo with her usual tact.
“Everything’s fine,” said Esmeralda-Kate, startled.
“Good, good. And what would you like to do when you leave? Have you given much thought to that yet? Because if you know, you might be able to persuade the teachers to let you drop subjects you won’t be needing, even though they are still quite important in most schools,” smiled Joey.
“Oh yes I want to become a scientist!” replied Esmeralda-Kate, eagerly. “I want to discover cures for all the terrible diseases we have.”
“Ye-es,” replied Jo, considering. “But what about when you get married?”
“Well- I’ll carry on. I think my work will be important. Don’t you think so Mrs Maynard?” asked Esmeralda-Kate anxiously. Already she was beginning to see why everyone loved Jo and was anxious for her approval in her chosen career. She felt as if she would cry if Joey didn’t give her consent.

 

#18:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 6:24 pm

Laughing Spot on!

*wonders if Joey somehow has magical powers of influence over people*

 

#19:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 6:53 pm

*rolling on the floor laughing*

This is marvellous, Steph. I hope E-K doesn't get converted though!!

 

#20:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 7:13 pm

And just before I leave.....


“Oh yes,” Joey assured her. “It is important. But so are marriage and family. Have you really given any thought to this Esmeralda-Kate?” Her piercing black eyes searched the girl’s face.
“You mean I can’t marry and continue my work? Well, I just won’t marry then!” said Esmeralda-Kate defiantly.
“Nonsense child!” said Jo sharply. “Of course you’ll marry!” Her black eyes were stony now.
“But I want to continue helping people,” Esmeralda-Kate was nearly crying by this time.
“You can, my dear,” Joey’s black eyes softened. “By having lots of children, to go out into the world and do good like you will do. Until they marry, and then their children will continue doing good.”
“But I don’t want lots of children,” retorted Esmeralda-Kate.
“Oh you say that now!” said Jo dismissively. Her black eyes were pools of darkness as she remembered her childhood. “I said the same thing myself! I didn’t even want to marry in fact! But look at me now- a wife and a mother of thirteen!”
“Thirteen?!” gasped Esmeralda-Kate.
“Oh yes, I churn them out at a fair rate,” said Joey with satisfaction. Her black eyes were alight with mischief. “Keeps me busy and keeps the house full. I just hate an empty house, you know. No conversation to butt into, no life to try and sort out. Not much fun!”
“But you work!” accused Esmeralda-Kate.
“Well, yes,” admitted Jo, the light in her black eyes dimming, “but my work lets me stay at home. And I can stop whenever I like to have another baby, or make my presence felt at school, or poke my nose into business that doesn’t really concern me. What the school would do without me I don’t know.” She smiled with satisfaction.

 

#21:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 7:14 pm

Esmeralda-Kate stared at her. Joey, seeing her face, hurriedly changed her look. Her black eyes were pools of softness as she said: “Well, do whatever you feel is right, Esmeralda-Kate. But I’m sure you’ll come around to our way of thinking. And now,” she said, changing her tone, “would you like to come and look at my babies?”
“Yes please!” said the girl eagerly.
Joey led the way upstairs to a room where the sound of crying could be heard. “That will be my youngest,” murmured Joey. “Emmie and Jeannie are both teething at the moment. It’s keeping Rosli- sorry me- up most of the night.”
Joey entered the nursery and was greeted by various yells of delight. “These are my Second Twins Geoff and Phil,” she said motioning to a redheaded pair, “and this is my youngest singlet Cecil. She’ll be off to school soon won’t you pet?” this last addressed to the dark haired girl who came running up.
“The others are various cousins and adopted babies. They don’t really recognise me as I’m hardly up here. I’m too busy with problems at the school to see them much. The school relies on me for everything. But anyway- these are my youngest,” said Jo with pride as she showed her latest twins off.
Esmeralda-Kate cooed over them until Joey pulled her away. “You must be getting back to school now. Miss Annersley will be wondering what I’ve done with you!”
“Come back any time!” said Jo as she shoved Esmeralda-Kate out the door, quickly followed by Bruno who promptly ‘watered’ the plants. “And don’t forget what I said. It’s what women were for remember!”

 

#22:  Author: Rach, Location: Cheltenham, England PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 8:52 pm

Superb!

Rach *giggles* Laughing

 

#23:  Author: Guest,  PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 9:41 pm

Ooh lovely! What a tonic! Thanks Steph! I've been away from the board for a while and itls lovely to come back and find a fun new drabble to read! Very Happy

 

#24:  Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 9:43 pm

Grr! Mad That was me, flippin' computer keeps logging me out and I don't notice! Screen of Death

 

#25:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 9:59 pm

Oh dear oh dear. No wonder Margot had to become a nun Laughing

 

#26:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 4:48 pm

What can I say? More, please.

 

#27:  Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:14 pm

This is great Steph, you have Joey completely in character!

 

#28:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:17 pm

I love the irony in Jo telling Esmeralda-Kate that marriage and motherhood are all-imprtant to a woman, then cofessing that she doesn't see her children for days on end because she's too busy interfering in the School.

 

#29:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:57 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

My face aches from laughing so much! Joey's comment about 'churning them out at a fair rate' had me in hysterics! Lots and lots more, please Steph!

 

#30:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 6:24 pm

*giggling wildly*

Steph this is fabulous, Jo is just perfect!! It must be great fun to be a member of staff at the school, you don't have to do much!!! Wink

 

#31:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:56 pm

So funny Steph! giggling like a lunatic at the whole thing! Smile

 

#32:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:05 pm

Hehe thanks everyone, glad your enjoying it Very Happy

I'm having fun writing it, got a bit carried away with the length but never mind Smile here's the next bit...

Chapter Four

Esmeralda-Kate thought over what Joey had said. She was quiet for the next few days as she mulled over her future. The others didn’t really notice. They were far too busy manically preparing for the Sale which was to happen next term. The other girls didn’t really give her a chance anyway. She was in a form that included shining lights such as Vi Lucy, Lesley Malcolm, Barbara Chester, Hilary Bennett and the redoubtable Mary-Lou Trelawney. All the other girls tended to fade to the background once they had made their first impression, only surfacing to give the occasional comment or fall in with Mary-Lou’s plans. Esmeralda-Kate didn’t really mind. She preferred to just get on with her work. She had realised that to be a scientist she would need good grades and so had been slogging away whilst the rest of them were busy with their usual tasks of sewing or eating. She had, however, been surprised when one morning Mary-Lou herself asked to partner her for a walk. She had accepted with some qualms. Esmeralda-Kate had been at the school long enough to realise that when Mary-Lou paid attention to you, there was little she wouldn’t find out.
Mary-Lou herself was a little apprehensive about talking to the new girl. At Miss Annersley’s request she had been assigned the task of changing the new girl into a Chalet girl. Mary-Lou had had her doubts- “What if I can’t do it Auntie Hilda? I might botch the whole thing up and then what would happen?”
“Of course you won’t dear. You’re Mary-Lou, it won’t happen to you I’m sure,” soothed the Head.
“Oh yes I know that. But I’ve got to express my doubts really haven’t I? Otherwise I’d just sound a bit too confident for most people’s liking. So what’s the matter with the latest freak? Planning to give me the gen Auntie Hilda?” sighed Mary-Lou, suddenly aware another term’s fun was out of the window now she had to look after another girl and would probably have some sort of accident or mishap before things would settle down again.

 

#33:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:08 pm

“What do you take me for?!” said Miss Annersley.
“Sorry, Auntie Hilda. You’re right of course. I’ve no real right to know about the girl’s family life,” said Mary-Lou humbly.
The Head laughed. “You didn’t let me finish my child! I was going to say- before you interrupted- what do you take me for? Of course I am! It is not really fair on Esmeralda-Kate, and I wouldn’t dream of saying anything to any other pupil but as you are Mary-Lou, I’m going to tell you everything.”
“Ooh goody!” said Mary-Lou, leaning forward eagerly.
“Well, it’s like this. Esmeralda-Kate believes that her career is everything. She says that she will have no time for marriage, and if she does marry, she’s going to carry on working.” Even though Hilda had not raised her voice at all, it reached the farthest corners of the room and more besides. Many people besides Mary-Lou, including Gaudenz outside, were going to learn a lot more about Esmeralda-Kate thanks to Hilda’s beautiful voice.
“But what rot!” cried Mary-Lou in her bell-like tones. Gaudenz subtly moved closer to the window. “Doesn’t she know that sort of thing doesn’t go on here? She’s only excluding herself from the rest of us and is letting herself in for a miserable time. In fact, she’ll probably make herself sick or most likely, end up in an accident at this rate, and I’ll have to be the one to rescue her!”
Hilda raised her eyebrows at this. She had expected Mary-Lou to be perceptive but not as much as this. “Maybe I should explain about her home life,” she said. A number of people outside the door suddenly became violently interested in the door handle and moved closer to inspect.
“Ahh yes, Auntie Hilda, her home life. Surely there’s some mystery here. Has one of her parents died and the other has married again? Is she an orphan and so living with a guardian or the usual cousin or aunt? Don’t tell me- she’s actually run away to school but is having such a miserable time she’s planning to run away back home again, getting herself into trouble on the way?” Mary-Lou took a breath and sat back expectantly.
“Oh no not this time Mary-Lou! We have a whole new plotline!” said the Head, proudly.
“Her parents are still alive and as far as I know, happily still married. They have two other children besides Esmeralda-Kate- a boy and a girl, both younger. They love all their children equally, and all the children get on with each other. There are no fights or dark secrets. Esmeralda-Kate comes from the perfect home.”
“But- but- how am I supposed to react in this situation?” gasped Mary-Lou. “Why- I can’t even trot out my usual yarn about Verity-Anne and I being sisters-by-marriage. She won’t relate to it, or be impressed by how well we have shaken down together.”

 

#34:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:15 pm

Wow a normal happy child how will they cope!!!

Im soooo hoping ML falls flat on her face this time!!!

Two wonderous posts, thank you Steph Very Happy

 

#35:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:18 pm

*giggling helplessly*

thank you Steph Very Happy

 

#36:  Author: Angel, Location: London, England PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:24 pm

*head rolls around the floor, dislodged by laughter*

What about Stacie Benson? She never married, and has a career?

 

#37:  Author: Lula, Location: Midlands, UK PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:36 pm

Laughing Hilarious! That's great, absolutely great!

 

#38:  Author: Catriona, Location: South Yorkshire PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:46 pm

I'm SO enjoying this - more please!!!

 

#39:  Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:56 pm

This is great! Laughing

 

#40:  Author: James,  PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 8:49 pm

Steph wrote:
“Oh yes I know that. But I’ve got to express my doubts really haven’t I? Otherwise I’d just sound a bit too confident for most people’s liking. So what’s the matter with the latest freak? Planning to give me the gen Auntie Hilda?”


I'm trying to work out whether this is just the best paragraph ever written on the board, or the best paragraph ever written! Fantastically funny Steph, please let's have more soon Smile

 

#41:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 10:24 pm

Laughing
Wonderful, I can't wait to see Mary-Lou's attempts...

 

#42:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 12:20 am

Absolutely classic. You've got the "confide in ML" scene to a T. Fabulous stuff!

 

#43:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 4:08 am

Poor dear Mary-Lou. What will happen when Esmeralda-Kate's through with her? You don't suppose she'll run off and become an archaeologist Shocked .

This is a most fantabulous parody, Steph Laughing .

 

#44:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:30 am

Steph, this is wonderful! Only just caught up on it because I'd mistakenly thought it was Liss' story - same name! Embarassed

Please, please continue, you have the scenes and characters just right. Laughing

Oh and what about the Staff themselves? They have a career not a marriage? Rolling Eyes

 

#45:  Author: James,  PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:05 am

Lesley wrote:
Oh and what about the Staff themselves? They have a career not a marriage? Rolling Eyes


But they're only doing it until they meet doctors!

 

#46:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 9:10 am

This is terrific, Steph, a wonderful parody.

 

#47:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 10:00 am

This is spot on, Steph. Laughing

 

#48:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:48 pm

Thanks everyone you're too kind! I honestly did not expect this sort of response, but it's really encouraged me to keep writing Smile
Not able to post anymore tonight, I'll do my best over the weekend, but it's a busy couple of days...but promise to post A LOT more when I can Very Happy

 

#49:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 2:34 pm

It seems a long time since we had any of this.

 

#50:  Author: Alice, Location: London, England PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 4:25 pm

This is very funny Steph. Can't wait to read some more...

 

#51:  Author: Lynsey, Location: Fife PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 4:57 pm

Yes its funny and I can't wait for more!

 

#52:  Author: Marianne, Location: Bournemouth PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:08 pm

only just caught upon this
rather jolly story line! poor Jo and Mary-Lou! Laughing

 

#53:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:52 pm

I'm sure Steph promised some more of this during the weekend. Just over two hours to go.

 

#54:  Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:08 pm

*Holds aching stomach from too much laughter*

 

#55:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:07 pm

*chants quietly*

 

#56:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 7:32 pm

Sorry I've not posted before, it's been a busy few days. Did a car boot on Saturday...wandered round hoping to find some CS but no such luck!

Anyway, I promised more so here it is hope you like it Laughing


“Calm yourself, my child,” said Hilda hastily. “Or I’ll be sending for Matron to give you a dose and put you to bed for the rest of the day. Listen to me, and I’ll tell you why Esmeralda-Kate has views like that. The downfall is her parents are just a bit too loving. They encourage their children to be anything they want to be and do anything they want to do when they are older. That is where she has got this silly idea from.”
“I see,” said Mary-Lou, nodding her golden head wisely. “So it’s her parents who are to blame. I suppose we can’t really blame Esmeralda-Kate for her views then.”
“No, it is usually the parents who are at fault. The child just picks up their opinions and views and follows them. That is why, now she is away from that destructive lifestyle, we can help her change,” said Hilda, wisely. The door creaked slightly as the people outside pressed against it.
“Yes, I understand Auntie Hilda. Well, I’ll try my best, and saints can’t do more!” Mary-Lou made her way to the door.
“Oh don’t worry about that!” Hilda laughed. “You’re better than any saint!”
“Yes I know,” giggled Mary-Lou. “Well, ta muchly, and all that. Now I’m off to root out that new girl. Have fun being bossy and mean to the Middles!” And with that Mary-Lou skipped out the door, her mind too busy to wonder about the numbers of girls who seemed to be hastily retreating from the Head’s office.
Hilda stared after her for a minute, wondering about Mary-Lou’s last sentence. “It is rather bordering on impertinence,” she said to herself. “And if any other pupil had said that to me, I’d be furious.” Then she gave herself a shake. “Silly woman! It’s just Mary-Lou!” With that she collected her books and went to be ‘mean and bossy’ to the Middles.

 

#57:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 7:50 pm

*weeping with laughter*

What a wonderful comment by Hilda that ML is better than any saint!!

I can't wait to see what happens!!

 

#58:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:26 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

 

#59:  Author: James,  PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:36 pm

Steph wrote:
here it is hope you like it Laughing


We do!! Smile

 

#60:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:48 pm

*tries to look modest* (just kidding!)

here's some more before I go Laughing


Chapter Five

Mary-Lou wandered off to the Splasheries to get ready for her walk. She was late because of her talk with Miss Annersley and so didn’t waste time explain anything to her boon companion Vi, although she managed to promise to tell her everything later. As she was walking out the door she spied Esmeralda-Kate and went over to her. “Hello! How are you this morning? Got any letters today?” said Mary-Lou as they started on their walk.
“Oh yes,” replied Esmeralda-Kate happily. “I got a long one from Mother, giving me all the news from back home. Do you know they are moving here? Mother needs to be in the mountains apparently and so they will be here within the next few weeks.”
Mary-Lou frowned. This was not good news. It would give her even less time to work on changing Esmeralda-Kate’s ideas. With this in mind, she decided to start immediately.
“I say,” she began nervously. “Do you know what you’re heading for?”
Esmeralda-Kate stared at her blankly.
“I mean,” pursued Mary-Lou, “do you want a career? Or are you planning to go home to help your mother? Or get married to a doctor?”
“Oh a career!” Esmeralda-Kate assured her. “I want to be a scientist.”
“And do you think you will get married?” asked Mary-Lou bluntly, as they began walking up a mountain.
“Oh I don’t know,” said Esmeralda-Kate, breathing hard. She wasn’t used to this sort of exercise and her legs were already beginning to ache.
Mary-Lou saw this. “Bend your legs a little at the knees,” she advised. “Makes it so much easier. So you don’t know if you will get married?”
“No not really. Why- do you think you will?” Esmeralda-Kate was beginning to wonder if marriage was all the Chalet School cared about, along with Joey, of course.
“I’m not too sure,” admitted Mary-Lou. “But if I do, I will give up whatever career I have.” She glanced at the other girl as she said this, and noticed her blush. “I mean, when will you have time to wait on your husband and have babies if you’re busy working?” She rubbed her point in well.
“But what if you don’t want to have babies?” argued Esmeralda-Kate. “I believe my job will be worth doing and if my husband can’t see that well- I just won’t marry him in the first place!”
Mary-Lou tried again. “But-”
“But nothing!” cried Esmeralda-Kate. “What is it with this school? First Mrs Maynard, now you!”
Mary-Lou tried a different tack. “I say, do you know my mother and Verity-Anne Carey’s father married not so long ago?”
Esmeralda-Kate stared at her. “What has that got to do with anything?”
“Well, I just thought you might be interested,” muttered Mary-Lou. “Everyone else is. We’re sisters-by-marriage, you know.”
“Oh shut up! I’m sick of you! I’m sick of this school!” cried Esmeralda-Kate.
Mary-Lou sighed. “Didn’t think it would work on you, but at least I tried.” She was talking to thin air however, as Esmeralda-Kate had marched off in a temper. Unfortunately, she didn’t look where she was going and plunged right off the side of the mountain.

 

#61:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:54 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
Love the bit about sisters-by-marriage!
And the falling off the cliff - nice little shock at the end there!

 

#62:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 9:01 pm

Lovely, though I do wish her come back had been 'so you are stepsisters then'

Slightly worried about the falling of the mountain Confused

 

#63:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 9:57 pm

Excellent, thank you! Laughing

 

#64:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 11:33 pm

I'd do the happy drabble dance but I've been poleaxed with laughter.

 

#65:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:34 am

I do hope the regulation fir is in position to catch Esmeralda-Kate! ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#66:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 10:22 am

This is brilliant - is there a single CS sterotype that isn't going to be used? Wink

 

#67:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 6:29 pm

So as not to leave you all in suspense for too long...

Chapter Six

Everyone gasped and ran to the edge to look. The mistresses in charge- Miss Ferrars and Miss Burnett- were frozen in shock.
Mary-Lou, with a sigh, realised that the inevitable had happened. “Another girl to rescue,” she muttered as she ran to the edge of the mountain. Without another thought for herself, she flung her body off the side to catch hold of Esmeralda-Kate, who was rapidly approaching the ground below. Mary-Lou pumped her arms and wiggled her legs to make her go faster and managed to catch hold of the other girl’s foot. Luckily, just before they hit the ground, Mary-Lou’s petticoat snagged on a twig. Miss Ferrars saw this with a sigh of relief and went to comfort the other girls, some of whom were hysterical by this time.
“Stop crying!” she ordered. “They are fine. A twig managed to break their fall.”
She noticed some handy snow at the edge of the path and proceeded to scrub the girls’ cheeks with it until they were back to normal again.
“Miss Burnett,” Kathy turned to the other mistress, “how shall we get them up?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about that,” replied Peggy, “and I think that if we make a human chain we can dangle down the side of the mountain and grab them. I’ll be at the top to pull you all back up.”
“Good idea,” said Kathie approvingly. “I’d better go first then. I can get a good grip of Mary-Lou’s Kenwigses.”

 

#68:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 6:58 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#69:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 7:20 pm

Oh, oh, oh!
*Weeps with laughter!*

love the bit about getting a good grip on ML's Kenwigses....
(and the way we switch between 'Kathy' and 'Kathie'......)

 

#70:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 7:25 pm

Oh, marvellous! More soon please!

 

#71:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 8:02 pm

*giggling helplessly*

 

#72:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 9:29 pm

*tears from out-takes overcome by tears of laughter*

Love this Steph!

 

#73:  Author: Angel, Location: London, England PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 10:22 pm

Donna wrote:
*tears from out-takes overcome by tears of laughter*

Love this Steph!


*boggles*

*reads o-t thread*

*comprehends*

Just tears of laughter from me, I think. Brilliant. So painfully accurate

 

#74:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 11:22 pm

Oh, dear! I don't normally giggle helplessly but at the moment, I can hardly type. This is so good!!!!! I kept thinking "I must remember that line" and then another hilarious one came along ROFL ROFL ROFL

this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!

 

#75:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 12:09 am

Laughing ROFL Laughing

Everytime I think this can't get any funnier it does!!!

 

#76:  Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 5:15 am

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

This is just priceless!

 

#77:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:14 am

Ripping, marvelous, and all those other fine-earning compliments Laughing Laughing

 

#78:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:53 am

Absolutely first class. I'm loving this.

 

#79:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:08 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing Wonderful!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing

 

#80:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:39 pm

Many thanks everyone Smile only a little for today...been too busy to write much recently.

However, just as the girls were forming a line a man wandered up the path. He came over to them, instantly sensing there was something wrong. Miss Ferrars went over to him. “Two of our girls have gone over the side of the mountain,” she explained in German. “We are just about to lower ourselves down in the form of a human chain to reach them.”
The man looked startled. “But they are only schoolgirls and it is such a risk!”
“Oh it’ll be fine!” dismissed Miss Ferrars. “We are the Chalet School!”
The man’s face cleared. “Ah, then everything will turn out well. But, you see here is rope I just happen to be carrying with me lest anything like this should happen. If you will permit, mein Fraulein, I will lower the rope and they can grab hold.”
Kathy nodded. “Good scheme!”
“What is?” asked Peggy, who had come over to see what was going to happen. Kathie quickly outlined the plan for her. “But what if the rope doesn’t reach? It is rather a long way down.”
“Peggy! Don’t be silly! Of course it will. This is the Chalet School remember. Now we have a solution to the problem we will be back at school in no time! I think the shock is affecting your brain,” laughed Kathy.
“Yes, I think I’ll have to get Matron to give me a dose when we get back,” said Peggy, as they made their way to the edge. “Stand back now girls! We don’t want anymore of you going over!”
Kathie, meanwhile, was calling down to the two girls, letting them know what was going to happen. “And mind you get a good grip of the rope Mary-Lou!” she bawled.
Mary-Lou, rather red in the face by this time, nodded. “Don’t worry Esmerelda-Kate!” she said as cheerfully as she could. “We’re safe now.”

 

#81:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:56 pm

Giggling helplessly, but disappointed that OOAO's Kenwigses didn't get a good pulling!

 

#82:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 2:20 pm

Wonderful!! I'm just waiting for them to be greeted by a doctor each now - who will get married first??? Wink

 

#83:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 4:34 pm

Double wedding of course Ally!!! Wink

 

#84:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:47 pm

With the rest of the girls as bridesmaids.

 

#85:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 7:49 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing

So will Kathie or Peggy be marrying the rescuer - of course after it turns out he's a doctor and has been offered a job at the San!!!

Loving this!

 

#86:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 2:30 pm

This is one of the funniest stories I have read for ages, I wish I had found it before. I love all the alternative stories.

More please whenever you can Steph. It is wonderful.

 

#87:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 8:50 pm

I haven't posted in awhile, mainly because I've been struggling to carry on with the story but I am going to finish it lol. The characters aren't behaving at the moment but it's coming along now Smile


The next minute she was grabbing hold of the rope with her free hand. She wound it round her wrist so she wouldn’t let go and, making sure she still had a good grip of Esmerelda-Kate’s foot, yelled that she was ready.
The man, helped by the two mistresses began winching the girls up slowly. Finally, after what seemed like hours to the two frightened girls, they were back on solid ground. Apart from a few cuts and bruises they looked normal.
The man, paid handsomely for his help, set off on his interrupted walk as the two mistresses’ shepherded their girls into lines. “I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day,” said Kathie as they began marching down the mountain again. She gave a quick glance at Esmeralda-Kate who was looking pale. Mary-Lou had recovered herself by this time and was with the Gang, discussing the Sale. Kathy hoped Esmeralda-Kate would be alright. She didn’t fancy a fainting scene in front of the villagers.
Just then she heard the sound of a car horn and looked up in surprise. Who would be up here in a car she wondered. Her face cleared as a tall, fair man jumped out. “Jack Maynard!” she exclaimed. “What on earth are you doing here?”
At her exclaim the rest of the party looked up and Jack grinned at the exclaims of “Mr Maynard!” “Dr Jack!” and “Papa!”. This last from the Maynard triplets who had been allowed on the walk with the Seniors on the account of their genius-like intelligence which placed them mentally years ahead of other children their age.
Kathie hurried over before any of triplets could make a rush at their father and explained what had happened. Jack hurried over to the two girls and gave them a once-over. “Fine and dandy as far as I can see!” he said, his blue eyes twinkling. “None the worse for your little adventure. Now then, I think it’s about time you people were getting back to school so pile in everyone!” He opened the car door.
“But Jack,” Peggy stopped him. “There are twenty girls here, not to mention us two mistresses. Not all of us will fit in that car!”
“Nonsense,” said Jack briskly as he began to shove girls’ in. “We’ll manage, even if some have to go on the roof!” The girls giggled and began to settle themselves in the car.
“Now, if everyone is in, we’ll head back. About the time for Kaffee und Kuchen isn’t it?” Jack started the engine and began the drive back down to the school.

 

#88:  Author: Pim - too lazy to log in,  PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:22 pm

*giggles wildly and tries not to fall off chair* Oh oh oh, this is fab-u-lous. Lots and lots more please!

 

#89:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:29 pm

Laughing The doctors always did seem to have expanding cars (thinking of Jem's car in Tom)

 

#90:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:50 pm

*frantically dries the tears of hysterical laughter*
One word....... MORE!!!! (please!)

 

#91:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 10:34 pm

this cheered me up after the footy! wonderfully funny!

 

#92:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 10:48 pm

Excellent - picturing girls on the roof! Laughing

 

#93:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 10:54 pm

That line about the Triplets was just spot on!

 

#94:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2004 12:58 pm

I'm loving this, so lots more please. Dare I say how glistening I find it?

 

#95:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2004 5:34 am

*wonderfully amused*

 

#96:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2004 4:15 pm

Wot, still no more?

 

#97:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 1:16 pm

Bumping this up to page one again as I am enjoying it so much.

Love the expanding car.

 

#98:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 2:26 pm

Sending this to the top again as a not so subtle reminder.

 

#99:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2004 2:19 pm

Wonderful, its sooo true about the cars!!!

I hope you feel further inspired soon Very Happy

 

#100:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:58 pm

Thanks everyone, sorry there's not been any more for a bit it's been a hetic week so not had time. But hopefully I'll be able to do some over the weekend- although not promising anything!
Also got an idea for another drabble that keeps nagging at me but need to work out details for it and I want to finish this one first Very Happy

 

#101:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2004 10:04 pm

Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of multiple plot bunnies!!!

 

#102:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 5:09 pm

It's rather annoying at the moment trying to keep both plots in my head!

Anyway, I said I'd do more, so here it is Smile

Chapter Seven

“Well, of all the stupid things to have happened on a walk I think this tops the lot!” Miss Annersley frowned as she thought over the incident of the previous day. But her brow soon cleared and she began to laugh. “Your face must have been a picture when Mary-Lou went over, Kathy!”
Miss Ferrars, seated in an armchair in the staff room ignoring her piles of essays, laughed along. “If it was anything like Peggy’s it must have been funny! Oh well, at least no real harm came to them, although Esmeralda-Kate does look different with her short hair.”
“Yes, she does remind me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it at the moment,” agreed Hilda.
Once the girls had got back to school the shock of the incident had been too much for Esmeralda-Kate and she had broken down. She had been put to bed immediately and given a dose by Matron and it looked as though she would recover well. However, once she had woken up, Esmeralda-Kate realised to her horror that her hair was falling out. Matron realised this was from the shock and packed her off to have it cut short. The result was that her once straight locks had become curly after the cut and wash and altered Esmeralda-Kate’s appearance dramatically.
As Hilda was musing over Esmeralda-Kate’s appearance a shadow fell across the staff room. She looked up to find Joey standing over her grinning.
“Why, hello Joey! To what do we owe this pleasure?” cried Kathie, pulling Jo towards an armchair.
Jo chuckled. “Oh, you know me. I like to pop in and out to keep up with events and poke my nose into things.”
Hilda looked at her closely. “There’s something you’re not telling us Joey. This isn’t just another of your casual visits. What’s going on?”
Jo stared at her for a moment and then began to laugh. “You know me too well Hilda! There is some news.”

 

#103:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 5:12 pm

Lovely use of the changing hair plot line, Very Happy in suspense over who she is related too!

 

#104:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 7:34 pm

Jo chuckled. “Oh, you know me. I like to pop in and out to keep up with events and poke my nose into things.”


Love that line! Laughing

Last edited by Lesley on Mon Jul 05, 2004 5:35 am; edited 1 time in total

 

#105:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 8:46 pm

I love the way you are including all the standard cs plots and character lines.

Hope to see more of this soon.

 

#106:  Author: Laura, Location: London (ish) PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 9:54 pm

More! More!

I only just found this and have spent the last ten minutes giggling helplessly. Its completely amazing! More please Steph!

 

#107:  Author: Angel, Location: London, England PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 11:05 pm

more more more more more.

Bloomin brilliant

 

#108:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 10:06 am

*chanting* Very Happy

 

#109:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 11:56 am

Joining in the chant. It's great to see EBD so thoroughly sent up!

 

#110:  Author: caz, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 1:09 pm

*joins chant tunelessly but with enthusiasm*

 

#111:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 6:26 pm

*joins in the chant*

 

#112:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:12 am

And what kind of news could Joey possibly have? Very Happy

 

#113:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:37 am

Just read this, can only agree it's absolutely hysterical, and I know it's been said before, but what else can I say?
Hope to see another post soon if RL will allow it.

 

#114:  Author: Bookwormsarah, Location: Cambridge, UK PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:40 pm

Oh *glorious*. I came upon this by chance and have been having to pretend to be working while trying despiratly not to giggle out loud. Just when I think all of the CS cliches have been used another old favourite appears! I was going to say that the car was my favourite, but then I thought of M-L and Hilda and started laughing again... reading

 

#115:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 11:09 am

So funny. Yet another ingeneous twist.

Wondering exactly what JO's news is! Knowing Jo it will only be one of three things!

 

#116:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 12:14 pm

Susan wrote:
So funny. Yet another ingeneous twist.

Wondering exactly what JO's news is! Knowing Jo it will only be one of three things!


1 twins

2 triplets

3 quods

Wink

 

#117:  Author: Richenda,  PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 1:06 pm

This is fantastic!!

I've just rediscovered the boards again, and what a way to start!!

Oh, and I bet I know what Joey's news is, and if i'm right, I think I know who else it relates to!

 

#118:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 2:40 pm

This drabble is hilarious! And I wonder if I'm thinking the same as you Richenda regarding Joey's news.

 

#119:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 6:09 pm

::giggles at everyones ideas::

::sneaks out of the post and leaves everyone in suspense::

Wink

 

#120:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 7:56 pm

*Grabs Steph back by her hair, and ties her to her chair, allowing her hands room to move*

Hurry up then Wink

 

#121:  Author: Laura, Location: London (ish) PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 8:15 pm

STEPH!!! More! More! More! (please? Very Happy )

 

#122:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 8:49 pm

*wails* Aww but I want some more!!!!
ROFLROFL

 

#123:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 9:58 am

So do I! Throws rattle out of pram and howls!

 

#124:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 5:38 pm

::gives in to protests::


She glanced round at all the staff who were hanging on to her every word. “The Bettany girls have a new brother and sister.”
Hilda gasped. “You mean Mollie-? When did this happen? What are their names?”
Jo looked at her calmly. “All in good time, Hilda. Let me finish with my news first.”
“You mean there’s more?” laughed Nancy Wilmot. “Don’t tell me Madame has had another child as well!”
Jo remained silent. Hilda looked at her sharply. “Joey! Madame as well?! You are joking?!”
“I am not!” replied Joey. Her black eyes sparkled at the sensation she was creating. “She has also had twins- two girls born a week ago. They are to be called Rosa and Nora. Mollie’s two are to be George and Jemima.”
“Well, you have certainly managed to shock us this time! I think I need a cup of Jeanne’s coffee to help me recover!” said Nancy.
“Certainly, ma cherie,” said Mlle de Lachennais, rising from her armchair where she had been ignoring her work.
“They will be catching you up Jo!” laughed Kathie.
“Oh not quite yet,” replied Joey calmly. “Especially as I am expecting again.”
The noise made at this announcement beat anything that had gone before.
“Joey you’re incorrigible!” cried Hilda.
“I may as well tell you now Jack and I are hoping for triplets again. And Hilda you can say what you like but I like big families.”
“Well that’s what you’ve got my dear! And triplets? But that will mean you will have sixteen children!”
“Yes, I had worked that out Hilda,” snapped Jo. Then she continued in a softer tone: “I am hoping to make it to twenty, you know.”
“Well, it will keep you busy anyway,” sighed Hilda.
“Not too busy that I shan’t have time to come into school!” replied Joey robustly. “I like coming here, walking about like I own the place, making my presence felt. But I may as well let you know now that I will be keeping quiet these next couple of months. Just tell the girls that I must not be worried will you? That will keep them guessing.”
“Yes, they won’t know what is wrong with you! And now, if you will please excuse me, I must go and attend to the Forth. The bell went ages ago.” Nancy swept out the room. The others ignored this and looked back at Joey.

Last edited by Steph on Tue Jul 13, 2004 11:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#125:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 5:47 pm

Lovely, that's just what Jo does. Glad to see that Nancy Wilmot took umbrage.

 

#126:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 6:31 pm

ROFL ROFL

It's so true, Jo couldn't possible let the others catch up, and people couldn't possibly know about it!!!

 

#127:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 8:34 pm

*Entering Madge in the Guiness Book of Record!!!*

Lovely!

BTW when did Joey have the other two?

 

#128:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 2:35 am

This just keps getting better. I'm just surprised Joey isn't aiming for a place in the Guinness book of records.

 

#129:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 5:22 pm

*Rolling around in helpless laughter*

That line about Mary-Lou wiggling herself to fall faster has to be my all-time favourite FCS quote Laughing

 

#130:  Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 9:16 pm

*giggles inanely*

Oh sorry, just discovered this and there's only one thing I can say.

more more more more more (please)

JackieJ

 

#131:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 11:53 pm

::notices she has done an EBDism of her own::

::quickly changes Anna to Jeanne before anyone notices:: Rolling Eyes

Many thanks people for your comments- they are keeping this thing going Laughing Lesley- Joey had another set of twins after Phil and Geoff called Emmie and Jeannie, further back in story. My time scales are off, as she'd only just had Cecil in the time I'm writing this but my excuse is artistic license Laughing

I was going to be ending it soon, but discovered I have other important events that should be included, if I can write them properly so *unfortunately* Razz it's going to go on for a bit yet, if RL allows Rolling Eyes

 

#132:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 7:15 am

Yippee!!!! Laughing

 

#133:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:40 am

Yay we get more drabble, thats great news Very Happy

Hope it appears soon Wink

 

#134:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 12:30 pm

No apologies, we'reall enjoying this!

 

#135:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:04 pm

*Satisfied sigh* Caught up again. Can't pick a favourite quote because they come so thick and fast!

Looking forward to the next post.

 

#136:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:00 pm

Just realised that as I am going on holiday for two weeks next Wednesday, I'll either hafta postpone the rest of the story until I get back- which I don't want to do- or work hard to finish it if RL allows Confused
I'll try my best to finish it Laughing



Jo turned to Hilda. “So, now with the announcements over, what was that you were talking about when I came in so unexpectedly?”
“Oh, that new girl Esmeralda-Kate managed to scare Kathy and Peggy on their walk yesterday.” Hilda filled Joey in on the details.
“Isn’t that just like our one and only Mary-Lou?!” Jo exclaimed once she had heard. “She really is one of the best isn’t she?”
Hilda agreed. “We are thinking of offering her another bravery prize as she is so good at this sort of thing. She is the best girl we have ever had!”
“Besides me,” put in Jo quickly. “So you think that Esmeralda-Kate looks like somebody?” she said changing subject.
“Yes, but I can’t think who,” replied Hilda.
“Well, let’s haul her in and take a dekko shall we?” said Joey cheerfully. “I can probably see the likeness. Remember when I realised Primula Mary was related to Jem? That was rather a clever deduction on my part.” She smiled with satisfaction.
Hilda ignored this and rang the bell. Her maid came in promptly and Hilda gave the message that Esmeralda-Kate was to come to the staff room straight away.
Presently there was a tap at the door and Esmeralda-Kate entered, looking scared.
“You wanted me Miss Annersley?” she said, looking at Jo, who looked as though she had seen a ghost.
But before Hilda could answer, Joey turned to her eagerly. “Oh you are stupid!” she cried. “How can you not see the likeness?! She looks just like her!”

 

#137:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:04 pm

LOL Steph!!!
Please may we have the next bit soon?





















Please!!!!??

 

#138:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:12 pm

*Echoes the request*

Please try to finish before you go on holiday if possible, otherwise we might all burst having to wait two weeks!! Have a great time though Very Happy

*Wondering who Esmeralda-Kate looks like*

 

#139:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:22 pm

Hehe you don't have to wonder long. As I am about to go to work Evil or Very Mad and won't be able to post tomorrow night either I'll be kind and give you the next bit now, freshly written today Very Happy

Chapter Eight

Miss Annersley looked annoyed. Esmeralda-Kate literally gaped at Jo, giving her the impression of a startled cod. She began to wonder if all the pregnancies had somehow affected Joey’s brain. Joey ignored all of this. She turned to Hilda. “Your renowned eyesight must be failing you Hilda! The likeness just jumps out at you!”
Hilda bristled at this slur on her vision. “I thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head Joey Maynard! My eyes have not needed a pair of spectacles in all the years I’ve worked at this school, and I’m not about to start wearing them now just because I can’t see some little similarity to a girl! You’re probably seeing something that isn’t there anyway. I know what your over active imagination is like! Now calm down. You’re a highly strung woman remember, with a delicate nervous system and we don’t want you getting ill do we?”
Jo opened her mouth to argue with Hilda, but Esmeralda-Kate caused a distraction by going up to Joey and gripping her wrist. “Please, Mrs Maynard. Who do I look like? What is going on?”
Before Jo could answer the door opened and Mary-Lou waltzed in. She had been wandering past, and hearing the noise, had realised there was something she was missing out on. This had to be rectified straight away, and so she had decided to barge into the situation.
“Hello, hello,” she said gaily. “Anything happening that I should know about?”
“Ah Mary-Lou!” cried Joey. “Just the person I wanted to see!”
“Well, of course,” replied Mary-Lou complacently.
Miss Annersley made a sudden movement. “My God!” she yelled. “How could I not have noticed it before?! Why- the likeness is staggering!” Her face turned white and she fainted.
Joey looked smug. “What did I tell you?” She reached into her pocket and brought out her smelling salts which she promptly wafted under Hilda’s nose. Hilda came to almost immediately. Joey suddenly noticed the girls who were looking bewildered. “Girls, I have noticed that there seems to be a similarity between the two of you. I don’t know where the relationship lies, but it seems as though you are related somehow! Aren’t I clever?”
Mary-Lou looked at Esmeralda-Kate. “Why- it’s like looking into a mirror almost! Why didn’t I notice this before?!”
“It needed the change of hair style to bring out the similarity,” replied Miss Annersley, who had recovered from her shock.
Esmeralda-Kate was silent. It was too much for her to take in at the moment. Joey saw this and acted. Ignoring Hilda’s look of disapproval she said: “Want to come back to my house for a couple of days Esmeralda-Kate? Never mind your school work. Not that important anyway. Come and stay with me and keep me company! You can help Rosli with the babies whilst I do important things.”
Esmeralda-Kate nodded. “Oh can’t I come to Auntie Jo?” pleaded Mary-Lou. “I do so hate missing out on things! And I am related to her-apparently.”
But Joey shook her head. “Not this time, my love. Esmeralda-Kate needs to be alone for a while to recover from this shock. I would have thought you had realised that with your amazing insight into people, Mary-Lou,” she said reproachfully.
“Oh I did,” replied Mary-Lou quickly. “I just thought I’d let you say it.”
“Well, you had better get a move on,” cut in Hilda. She glanced out the window. “There seems to be a young blizzard on the way. Esmeralda-Kate- go and get your things ready.”
“I’ll call back for you this evening,” promised Jo. “I just need to rush off home to spread the good news first and try and work out the family relationship so I can take the credit for this.” As she said this she stood up and muffled herself up in her great silk shawl, nearly suffocating herself in the process.
“Be careful Joey,” warned Hilda. “It won’t be easy walking through that.” She nodded to the window, where outside the snow was swirling down. Already it was becoming dark.
“Oh I’ll be fine!” said Jo cheerfully. “Now, I’ll be going. I’ll be back later for you Esmeralda-Kate. By the way is there no way of shortening your name? It’s an awful mouthful. How about Essy? Yes, that will do.”
And with this, she was off to make her way across the grounds back to her wonderful warm house.

 

#140:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:31 pm

Oh my gosh what a terrible fate - to be related to ML!! And to have your name shortened so. I wonder if Essy will feel like rebelling soon??

*Feels rather spoiled to have had more story so quickly*

 

#141:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:53 pm

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!


*thinks Steph should send this in to FOCS....... Wink *

 

#142:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 9:05 pm

Wonderful Steph!

*Hopes Joey suffocates in her shawl!!*

 

#143:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 10:54 pm

I'm really going to have to read all this straight through when it is finished! I just can't pick out the best things but Joey saying "Besides me" and ML saying "I just thought I’d let you say it.” are two of the funniest lines I've ever read ROFL ROFL

 

#144:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:04 am

This is hilarious, I definitely want lots more of it!

 

#145:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:47 pm

*ROFL*

There are SO many lines in this drabble which have made me laugh, but I think my favourite has to be, "You can help Rosli with the babies while I do important things."

ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#146:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:10 pm

Vikki- FOCS? I take it that means Friends of the Chalet School? *showing her ignorance* is there a drabble page on there as well? I've been meaning to check it out but not had time.
Anyway, here's a bit more story. I'm writing this at the moment so will post more asap.

Chapter Nine

Esmeralda-Kate ran to her dormitory to get her things ready, her mind whirling. Related to Mary-Lou! A young blizzard on the way! And, most importantly- staying at Freudesheim with the wonderful Mrs Maynard! She glanced out of the window as she grabbed her stuff and realised that Miss Annersley had not been exaggerating. The snow was coming down thick and fast and, although it was only three- sorry, fifteen hours- it was already dark. Esmeralda- Kate shivered and made a mental note to wrap up warm. As she was thinking this Len Maynard, eldest of the Maynard clan wandered in.
“Hello, what are you up to?” she asked cheerfully.
“I’m off to Freudesheim for a couple of days,” replied Esmeralda-Kate, wondering if she should let Len in on the secret of her family relations. There was no need to bother.
“Oh yes, I’ve just seen Mary-Lou,” nodded Len. “So you and her are related?” She looked closely at Esmeralda-Kate, making that young woman squirm. “Yes, I can see where Mamma got that from. She is clever isn’t she? I would have realised it as well before long, as I also have Mamma’s great insight and wonderfulness. Con has inherited her writing genius to the full and is in consequence a dreamer and Margot is her bad youngest triplet. So you see we all have some of Mamma’s qualities, although I must say, I have the best.” Len beamed at Esmeralda-Kate.
“Margot? Oh I think I’ve seen her. She’s really pretty isn’t she?” replied Esmeralda-Kate, thinking of Margot’s red-gold hair and blue eyes.
Len looked annoyed. “We are all pretty, although I shouldn’t really say it. I have my lovely violet eyes and chestnut hair,” she snapped.
Esmeralda-Kate blushed. “Oh well, yes of course. Con is so like Mrs Maynard with her dark looks, and you- well- you’ll be really pretty when you are older.”
“Praise to the face is a disgrace!” replied Len sharply, before stalking out of the room.
Esmeralda-Kate stared after her. Then she shook her head and continued to pack. She didn’t want to make Mrs Maynard wait. She would be back soon and Esmeralda-Kate wanted to get over to Freudesheim as quickly as possible. She thought of the wonderful warm salon where Joey was probably sitting now, toasting crumpets and drinking tea.
Had she known it, the reality was quite different.

 

#147:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:17 pm

So, what is the reality?

 

#148:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:21 pm

I'll let you know as soon as I know Laughing Currently trying to write it, and finding inspiration will not come Rolling Eyes

 

#149:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:22 pm

Ohhh, Len jealous of Margot being thought pretty - aaaaannnnddd proud of her inherited characteristics - love it! Laughing

 

#150:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:38 pm

The green-eyed monster is alive, well and living at the CS.

 

#151:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:42 pm

Joey had set off from the school quite happily, despite Hilda’s warnings. “I know better than she what is going to happen, and my waters tell me I’ll be back long before the blizzard begins,” she told herself confidently.
So Jo had set off for her house, which was only next door, in great spirits. She had been the one to discover the relationship between the girls! This would cement her place in the Chalet School history. “Another one over Mary-Lou. That bravery stunt of hers will be well forgotten now,” she chuckled.
She was so busy crowing over her successes that she didn’t realise she had taken a wrong turning in her garden, which was the size of a football pitch, and was heading away from her house, rather than towards it, and only woke up to this fact when a twig snagged her earphones. “Dammit!” she cursed. “I’ll have to get Anna to do my hair again for me when I get in.” Jo looked around. All she could see was snow. She should have been at the house by now. Suddenly, panic rose up inside her and she whirled around in terror. Hilda had been right after all! The blizzard had come too quickly for Jo and now she was lost! This was that damn Mary-Lou’s fault! If she hadn’t insisted on barging in, the whole situation would have been cleared up much sooner! She took a deep breath to calm herself down, and stretched out her arms to feel her way. She blundered over her rockery and into some bushes. She tried a different direction and smacked into the apple tree. Desperation took over and she began to run about, frantically trying to find the house. She began to sing the Red Sarafan to calm herself. It had worked miracles before, and Jo prayed for a miracle now. Suddenly she slipped on some of Bruno’s ‘doings’ and fell headlong into the flower bed, knocking her head on a gnome. Her last thought before she lost consciousness was that at least she would be able to get a book out of this.

 

#152:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:49 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

I absolutely love Len, you got her perfectly!!!

As for Joey won't she hate it if ML discovers her, but I feel sorry for the gnome.

 

#153:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 9:05 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Love that Joey slipped on some of Bruno's 'doings'!!!

Wonderful!

 

#154:  Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 9:35 pm

How on earth did I manage to miss this one Question I haven't laughed so much in ages.

*note to self: never read FCS drabbles while writing a serious one. It affects the brain far far too much.*

I've just one thing to add: MORE PLEASE Exclamation

 

#155:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 9:50 pm

Ok this is the last bit for tonight. My brain is beginning to hurt Shocked

Chapter Ten

“I wonder where Joey has got to?” worried Hilda. “She should be here by now to collect Esmeralda-Kate.”
“Oh you know Joey!” laughed Kathy. “Probably got an idea for a story and is sitting there writing it now, all of us forgotten!”
“Yes, she can be like that,” agreed Hilda still frowning. “Well, the blizzard is easing off now, so I suppose I’ll send Esmeralda-Kate across. She knows the way and anyway, she can’t get lost- it’s only next door!”
“Yes, it would take a Dummkopf to get lost across there!” giggled Kathie.
Hilda rang the bell and presently Esmeralda-Kate appeared, bundled up and ready to go.
“Give my regards to Mrs Maynard, and tell her to ring me when she has a spare minute!” With that Hilda pushed Esmeralda-Kate out of the side door.
Esmeralda-Kate made her way carefully across the grounds. It was true the blizzard had ended, but it had left behind a good two feet of snow.
As she tramped her way across the garden of Freudesheim she noticed Bruno sniffing about. She called to him and he ran over. With a joyous bark he hurled himself on her and they spent a few confused minutes struggling to get out of the snow. Then he raced off across the garden and laughing, Esmeralda-Kate followed. Suddenly he stopped and began to howl. Startled, she ran up to him, thinking he was hurt. But when she reached him, Esmeralda-Kate noticed a red glove in the snow. She walked forward carefully, but fell over what seemed to be a log. As she brushed the snow off the ‘log’ she uncovered a face, getting the shock of her life. It was Mrs Maynard! Esmeralda-Kate began to scream, joining Bruno in his howls. Jack Maynard, home from a long day at the San, heard the noise and ran hell for leather across the garden. He took in the situation and hauling his wife across the garden yelled for Esmeralda-Kate to go and tell Anna to get the brandy. “But mind it isn’t the vintage!” he bawled as he lugged Jo into the house.
Heart and head pounding, Esmeralda-Kate fell into the kitchen, panting out her request. Anna nodded, and, pushing a trolley piled high with cakes, told Esmeralda-Kate to help herself whilst she got the brandy ready. “Oh what will happen to her?!” sobbed Esmeralda-Kate. “Will she live?”
“Hush, mein Leibling,” said Anna. “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. It is just Mrs Maynard’s way. She does things like this.” Anna chuckled.
“But- but- she looked so-” stuttered the girl.
Anna nodded. “Ah, she always looks like that!” she dismissed. “It’s her natural colour. But do not worry yourself; she’ll be fine in a couple of days.” With this she departed with the brandy.
Esmeralda-Kate sat in the warm kitchen, munching on a honey-and-nut cake, thinking over Anna’s words. She hoped they were true. Joey had looked so dead, she thought, as she started on an éclair. Just then she heard voices, and as she walked into the hallway, she was confronted with what seemed like half the school. Then she realised it was just Joey’s girls and their friends. Con walked up to her. “Mamma is holding a tea party for us all,” she explained. “Where is she?” Esmeralda-Kate didn’t know what to say. Con, realising something had happened, put an arm round the girl. “Has Mamma got herself into an accident again?”
Esmeralda-Kate nodded. Con sighed. “That’s the tea party off then. And we were going to miss Algebra an’ all,” she said mournfully.
Esmeralda-Kate was startled at the apparent lack of concern. This really must happen all the time, she thought. She looked over to where Con was telling her triplet sisters the news. Margot was frowning, robbing her face of its beauty. “That’s just typical of Mom!” she cried. “Why does she always have to do this?”
Len, realising their father was coming down the stairs and could probably hear every word, tried to hush her.
“No Len!” stormed Margot. “My devil has got a hold and I will not be hushed! Mom is so selfish! I was looking forward to this party and now we have to go back to school!”
“Margot,” said her father. The angry girl swung round. “How can you talk like that? You know I will have to ignore you now, although what you really need is a good smack. Don’t expect me to talk to you for the rest of the year, and if you carry on, the rest of your life.”
He faced the rest of the girls, all anxious for news of their beloved Jo. “Girls” he said in a quiet voice. “Mrs Maynard is seriously ill. When Esmeralda-Kate found her she had been out in the snow for at least two hours. This would have killed any normal person, especially one with the health problems of Jo, but miraculously she has survived. For
now. It does not look good.” He paused and looked round at them all. “Joey is suffering from hyper-pleuro-pneumonia-brain-fever.”

 

#156:  Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:00 pm

Shocked Shocked Not hyper-pleuro-pneumonia-brain-fever! Shocked Shocked How will Joey survive??????? Laughing

 

#157:  Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:02 pm

Heheh.... I'm loving this.... That last part was extremely good, especially the line about it being Joey's normal colour (I've had that said about me a number of times, a vampire has more colour than me!)

JackieJ

 

#158:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:14 pm

Love the illness!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

 

#159:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:19 pm

Ow, ow, ow, I HURT from laughing... I think I may be suffocating... oh the pain... (of course, I can't wait for some more drabble...)

 

#160:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:27 pm

What will it take? The vintage brandy? Matey's nostrums? The Red Sarafan? funny that everyone's so matter-of-fact ... ROFL

except Margot's devil, of course -- imagine using such forbidden langage as "Mom." Mr. Green

 

#161:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:02 pm

Oh my what an illness, trust Joey!!

Giggling wildly at Jack's protection of his best brandy and his treatment of Margot

 

#162:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:32 pm

Totally and absolutely fabulous!!!

*mind it isn’t the vintage!* ROFL

*And we were going to miss Algebra an’ all,* ROFL

*You know I will have to ignore you now* ROFL

I could go on a reproduce the whole post but I'm too hysterical!

*off for strong coffee to recover*

 

#163:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 5:55 pm

*sobs*
This is wonderful!!!


(and Steph, FOCS is Friends of the Chalet school. But i have to admit that I was teasing about sending it to them. Not because it's not brilliant, but the FCS stuff we do on here is a bit wild and wacky for them.)

 

#164:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:43 am

This is great, only Jo could develop that illness.

 

#165:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 5:50 pm

Ahh I understand now Vikki.
*agrees things are a bit wacky on here* Very Happy

I'm working hard to get this thing done so here's the next bit Laughing

Chapter Eleven

Esmeralda-Kate sighed as the bell for lessons rang. It had been five days since Joey’s accident and there had been no improvement. The school seemed to have a cloud over it and everyone was less noisy and less cheerful. She had heard some of the mistresses talking about the accident and had realised that her unborn triplets were in danger too. If Joey carried on in this state, there would be nothing left to do but operate to save the lives of the three.
Esmeralda-Kate scoffed the rest of her biscuits and ran to her locker. There she met Mary-Lou who, despite the circumstances, looked her usual bright self. She was singing-or rather attempting to sing- a song which Esmeralda-Kate did not recognise.
“What’s that you’re wailing?” asked Esmeralda-Kate curiously.
“It’s a song Auntie Joey taught me. It’s called the Red Sarafan. It’s an old Russian folk-song. She leant it from Auntie Rob-you know- the nun.” She suddenly chuckled.
“What’s the joke?” demanded Esmeralda-Kate.
“Oh just that Auntie Rob sung it to Joey when she was a small child and Jo was in a similar state to what she is now. She’d fallen into a lake in winter after trying to rescue somebody- you know how Auntie Jo likes to be the hero!” Mary-Lou ignored the pointed look she got off her friend and continued: “Well, she was down with pleuro-pneumonia then and it looked like her number was up and she’d clock off before the end of the day, when little Robin ran in and sang that song. That was the turning point. She got well again after that.”
By this time they were in the classroom and sitting at their desks. Esmeralda-Kate twisted round in her seat and faced Mary-Lou. “Do you mean to say that by singing that particular song the Robin managed to do what the cleverest doctors in the world couldn’t do and cure Joey?!” she demanded.
Mary-Lou nodded. “Quite miraculous really, but then this is the Chalet School where miracles happen and saints are born!” There was no time for any more as Miss Wilmot came waltzing in and their attention had to the given to the hateful mathematics.
But as soon as the lesson ended and everyone had breathed such a sigh of relief that Nancy’s hair was ruffled as she departed, Esmeralda-Kate turned to Mary-Lou again.
“Let’s do it!” she said eagerly.
“Let’s do what?” asked Mary-Lou, puzzled. “The prep Willy set us? You are keen aren’t you?!”
“No you ass!” exclaimed Esmeralda-Kate. “Let’s sing the Red Scarf or whatever it was called to Joey and she might get better!”
Mary-Lou stared. “But surely that phenomenon wouldn’t happen again? It was stretching the imagination enough the first time but to do it again would be just downright unbelievable.”
Esmeralda-Kate shook her head stubbornly. “I want to try it!” she insisted. Then, as Mary-Lou still looked unconvinced: “I’ll let you take the credit for it if it works.”
Mary-Lou’s face brightened. “Well, OK then, I suppose we can give it a go,” she agreed. “Can’t hurt I suppose. And it will give me a chance to show off my wondrous singing voice,” she added thoughtfully.
Esmeralda-Kate ignored this. “The sooner Jo gets better, the sooner we find out our relationship!”
Mary-Lou nodded. “Yes, it must have been rather a thrill for you when you found out you were related to me!”
Before Esmeralda-Kate could answer Mlle de Lachennais swept into the room for their French lesson. But Mary-Lou was too excited for that now. She jumped out of her chair, shouting “Oh bother your French Mlle! We’ve got lives to be saving; we can’t be stuck in here going over verbs! Now I’m going to Freudesheim, so if you’ll excuse me!” And she barged out of the room.
Mlle looked startled. But then her face relaxed and she laughed. “That Mary-Lou!” she exclaimed. “And now, can any of you explain to me what she meant?”
Esmeralda-Kate stood up and told Mlle the plan. “I see,” she said, when Esmeralda-Kate, breathless and blushing, sat down again. “That seems like a good idea. Well, mes enfants, class will be suspended for today then.”
Before she could say anything else, the entire class stood up and quickly vacated the room. They didn’t need to be told twice!
The corridor buzzed as the girls got ready to go over to Freudesheim. Mary-Lou had been found before she had managed to leave and was in the middle of the pack, bossing people about and giving orders. The girls made such a racket that other classes began to pore out, thinking there must be something wrong. When they heard the plan, they too wanted to be a part of it. It ended up that the whole school was to join in and the teachers retreated to the staff room for a fag and a break. “It will keep them busy for a while!” chuckled Kathie Ferrars as she plopped herself down in an armchair and ignored her piles of work.
Jack Maynard, having a well deserved rest in the salon, was startled by the sight of the entire school streaming across the garden. With a thought for his roses and rockery, and the mess Bruno had made only half an hour before, Jack stubbed out his cigarette and gulped down the rest of his gin. He opened the door and, with a suppressed burp, greeted the girls.
“And what is this in aid of?” he cried.
“Papa we have come to save Mamma!” cried little Felicity Maynard.
Mary-Lou stepped forward. “Uncle Jack,” she said earnestly. “We all know Auntie Joey is ill and that you’re not clever enough to save her. On behalf of the Chalet School I’d like to offer a cure. We will sing the Red Sarafan!” she announced dramatically.

 

#166:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 5:56 pm

*Slides off her chair clutching her sides ~ oww it hurts too much*

Oh Steph what a wonderful idea, and I could so see it happening. The only real shock was that its triplets not quads!!

 

#167:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:04 pm

Is Joey lying there "still, grey and, to all appearances..."?

Brilliant Steph.

 

#168:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:11 pm

*evil giggle*

*thinks Ann must psychic*

As I'm in a rush I'll give you the next bit now. Am trying to get it finished for tomorrow but can't promise anything

Chapter Twelve

Jack stared at them all. For a full minute he said nothing. Esmeralda-Kate began to feel embarrassed. The school began to get restless. Even Mary-Lou began to get impatient and, thinking that she knew how to work a crowd better than anyone else, was about to turn round and address everyone when a curious noise came from Jack. It sounded like he was about to have a coughing fit and his daughters looked at him in alarm. But then Jack suddenly began to roar with laughter. The girls started. “Oh- oh!” choked Jack. “It’s too funny- you’re too funny!”
“Uncle Jack!” muttered Mary-Lou. “Get a grip on yourself for God’s sake.”
Jack pulled himself together. “Oh girls thank you! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages. That has really cheered me up thank you!”
“But Papa!” cried Len. “It-it wasn’t a joke. We want to save Mamma!”
“Oh pet,” said Jack, soberly. “There is little hope for Mamma now. I was going to send for you lot later this afternoon. I’m afraid the end is nigh.” There was a shocked silence after this statement. Then: “What rot!” cried Mary-Lou. “Move out of the way Uncle Jack and let us in. We’re going to sing that damn song and we will save her bloody life and I am going to take the credit for it, understand?!”
Jack looked at Mary-Lou in shock. He was about to give her a piece of his mind, when he remembered that it was Mary-Lou he was talking to. “Oh go on then, give it a go,” he grinned, moving out of the way. Mary-Lou barged past him and up the stairs. The rest of the school followed chattering in excitement.
When they reached Joey’s bedroom, the noise died down and an awed silence took its place. Joey was lying in the bed, still, grey and, to all appearances, dead!
But just as Mary-Lou thought the end had come too quickly, she noticed Joey breathing slightly and she heaved a sigh of relief. She didn’t want her great moment of victory to be spoilt.
The rest of the school crowded in as much as they could, and the overspill went into the corridor. Esmeralda-Kate stood next to Mary-Lou, with Verity-Anne Carey closest to Joey. This had been Esmeralda-Kate’s idea. Verity-Anne possessed the sweetest, most beautiful, gorgeous voice in the whole world, apart from Joey’s and, with a choice between that and Mary-Lou’s honking, she knew which she would rather wake up to. Joey’s own daughters were at the other side of the bed, looking remarkably composed considering the situation. But they were probably used to seeing their mother like this, Esmeralda-Kate decided.
When everyone was ready and the nervous giggles and mutters had stopped, Mary-Lou cleared her throat and announced: “Right, if everyone is ready, then we will begin. This is the note,” and she nudged Verity-Anne, who sang ‘Loo!’ in a very true little treble.
The she and Mary-Lou, followed by Esmeralda-Kate, began to sing. The school joined in by degrees and by the time it had been sung all the way through, everyone, including Jack and Anna and Rosli had joined in. People joined hands and began to sway. Jack got out his lighter, flicked it on and held it up, tapping his foot to the rhythm. Rosli and Anna began to clap. Then Mary-Lou started them off in a round and by the time they had all sung it through ten times they were rosy-cheeked but grinning and happy. This was more than could be said for Joey. Her face seemed to have turned even paler, and her breathing shallower. Mary-Lou, who had been getting carried away, was about to start everyone on a round of ‘Frere Jacques’ when she noticed Joey’s condition.
Jack, sensing that something was wrong, pushed past everyone and was beside his wife in a minute. He held her wrist and looked anxiously at her face.
Esmeralda-Kate felt the colour drain out of her own face and she felt sick. Her plan hadn’t worked. Joey was going to die anyway. At least she could blame Mary-Lou for this, she thought. Then, suddenly, there was a sigh and Joey’s eyelids fluttered. Esmeralda-Kate held her breath. Could Joey possibly be coming back to life?

 

#169:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:29 pm

Steph this is hysterical!!! Laughing Laughing Please write the next bit - must know if Joey's going to survive!

 

#170:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 7:56 pm

Steph, please put us out of our misery and write the rest of it. It's just so funny, I can hardly stop laughing.

 

#171:  Author: Angel, Location: London, England PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:21 pm

put us out of our misery and kill joey, plesae Smile

 

#172:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:24 pm

I don't think I could stand ML's gloating if she was successful, perhaps, just perhaps it didn't work this time??

 

#173:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:27 pm

I can hardly type for laughing!!!!!

 

#174:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:55 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL
But she couldn't succumb to anything so banal as hyper-pleuro-pneumonia-brain-fever! It just wouldn't fit in with all this classic CSness. Joey needs to rise up and snatch credit - er, I mean, declare Esmeralda-Kate the Ultimate New Girl Turned True Chaletian!

*hopes the mistresses are enjoying their break*

 

#175:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 2:45 am

*perches on the edge of a very funny cliff*

 

#176:  Author: Nina, Location: Peterborough, UK PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 9:21 am

*sings "Loo" in a very true little treble* Classic - Love it ROFL Laughing

 

#177:  Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 10:09 am

Steph there should be a public health warning on this drabble! Pretty soon, I'm going to be "still, grey and to all appearances dead" from having passed out laughing!!

But please finish it soon - its fantastic!

 

#178:  Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 7:02 pm

Just discovered this, and read it in its entirety. It's brilliant, I'm loving all the cliched storylines and phrases. I especially love Joey and Mary-Lou each trying to get one over on the other ROFL

Star Wars

 

#179:  Author: Laura, Location: London (ish) PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 8:02 pm

Please please PLEASE can we have some more? This is amazing! Very Happy

 

#180:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:30 pm

Ok, I've been working hard to get this done, so you lucky people don't have to wait two weeks and I *think* it's just about finished. Not all written down, you understand, but in my head lol. So shouldn't be too long before the next bit (after this) is on here i.e in about half an hour Very Happy
You can be very free with your praise Very Happy


Chapter Thirteen

Everyone held their breath as Joey’s eyelashes carried on fluttering, looking like two moths caught in a trap. You could hear a fly fart, it’s so quiet, thought Mary-Lou as she looked at Joey with morbid curiosity. She had never seen a dead person before, and this might just be her chance. What luck that it was Auntie Jo as well! But her hopes were dashed as suddenly Jo opened her eyes. She gazed around for a minute, taking in the scene. Then with a yawn she said, “Hello! What are you all here for? Shouldn’t you all be at school? Then again, I’ve not seen much of you all lately, so no wonder the mistresses decided you could come! You all must have missed me too much!” And with that, she turned over and went to sleep.
“Oh it worked!” Esmeralda-Kate burst out. “My plan for saving Mrs Maynard worked!”
“Your plan?” questioned Mary-Lou, eyebrows raised.
“Hush!” said Jack. “I don’t want you waking her just as she’s gone into a natural sleep. Now she’s nodded off and is in the clear I want to make the most of the time I have to myself! So everybody out! No talking until we are all downstairs!”
They all left Jo, who was now snoring gently, and trooped downstairs to the salon. Then they all began to talk. The noise level rose higher and higher until Jack couldn’t hear himself think. Climbing onto a chair, he shouted: “Right that’s enough! Everybody BE QUIET!!” With almost stunning suddenness, the girls stopped. Jack, on his high perch, was able to see just about every face as they looked at him eagerly. “Girls, I want to thank you for what you have done. You have saved my wife from certain death. I admit this isn’t the first time this method has worked, and it certainly isn’t the first time she’s nearly killed herself, but it is the first time the whole school has been involved in saving Joey! So three cheers for the Chalet School!” Jack, getting carried away, began to jump up and down on his chair, and there was nearly another sudden death as the legs gave way. Luckily, there were enough small girls nearby for Jack to land on safely. Then, with little regard for his wife slumbering upstairs he led the cheers for the school, which the girls joined in wholeheartedly. Then Jack quietened them down again and said “I’d personally like to thank the girl who came up with this idea. She has saved my wife’s life and is a very special person for that.”
“Oh!” said Esmeralda-Kate, “That would be-”
“Me” broke in Mary-Lou hurriedly. “It was all my idea. I saved the day as usual. Clever me.” And she went forward to receive a kiss of Jack Maynard, at which point, a few of the older girls wished they had been as quick as Mary-Lou.
Then they all began to troop back to school, much to the dismay of the mistresses, who had been taking advantage of the day off to sit in the staff room, smoking, drinking and ignoring their piles of work.
“Well, I suppose we had better get back to work,” sighed Nancy Wilmot. “It was a nice break while it lasted. Although I doubt we will get much work out of these girls, now they have saved Joey’s life! They won’t be able to concentrate and I wouldn’t mind betting they won’t sleep tonight.”
“Oh don’t you worry about that!” laughed Matron. “It will be hot milk and doses all round tonight for them all. That will put them to sleep whether they like it or not!”
And with this they all wandered out of the staff room to the excited throngs of girls.

 

#181:  Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:33 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing Loveit! Poor Jack, having Mary Lou clamped to his mouth!

*checks watch impatiently. Surely half an hour has passed?*

 

#182:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:35 pm

*howls with laughter!!!*
Brilliant Steph!!!!

 

#183:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:39 pm

I can't think of any cliche or stereotype you haven't used now! Very, very clever!

 

#184:  Author: Steph, Location: Blackpool, Lancashire PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:17 am

*sighs*

OK, it's finished! And I am now off to bed for a bit of sleep before the taxi arrives at half six to take us to the airport.
It's a lot longer than was intended, but I'm pleased with how the story turned out. Many thanks for all your encouragement and comments, they kept it going really Very Happy

Chapter Fourteen

There was great rejoicing in the Chalet School that week. Classes were suspended and parties were held. After all, as Vi Lucy put it ‘Joey Maynard is much more important than education.’
However, there was one girl who, although joined in the celebrations, did so with a heavy heart. Esmeralda-Kate had had a letter from her parents containing bad news. They were due to build a chalet by the school for the whole family as Esmeralda-Kate’s mother needed the miraculous life-giving mountain air to live. However, it had been decided that three children would be too much of a burden for a sick lady and so the children were to spend the holidays at their respective schools, or with a relative of their parents. They were only to see their mother for a few hours when they did visit and even then that would be pushing it. Esmeralda-Kate sobbed when she read this as she loved her mother dearly. She wanted her to get well, but felt that not to be able to see her was more than she could take. Nothing had been said about the connection with Mary-Lou as it was felt the shock would bring about an early death for her mother.
This change in her was noticed by her friends. “It’s as if she’s grown up somehow,” said Lesley Malcolm.
“It feels like she’s left us behind now,” agreed Vi Lucy. “We felt that with Mary-Lou when her father died didn’t we? Although she’s always been a presumptuous little idiot really.”
“I say, I hope there’s nothing wrong with her people!” said Lesley anxiously. “That would account for the sudden change. She’s definitely not the carefree, jumping off mountains little Essy that we knew before.”
“Oh, if there was something wrong, then Mary-Lou would have found out by now and told the rest of us,” said Vi, airily.
The conversation had to be stopped there hurriedly as Esmeralda-Kate herself entered the room.
Mary-Lou had in fact questioned Esmeralda-Kate about it but had received no satisfactory answer. Esmeralda-Kate had just muttered that it was a family affair and so nothing to do with Mary-Lou. “Oh but it is!” cried Mary-Lou on hearing this. “We are family now, so what concerns you concerns me! Tell me what it is please Essy? If you do,” she added slyly, “I will tell you exactly what that Vi Lucy was up to with Gaudenz when you saw them coming out of the garden shed.”
But Esmeralda-Kate refused to be moved, even by this juicy gossip. Finally, when the elder girl had worried her about it for the rest of the day, she suddenly burst out: “Oh for God’s sake Mary-Lou! Will you please go and mind your own business for once?! All this talk about being family doesn’t wash with me anyway! Mrs Maynard must have been wrong when she said what she did. After all, it’s not like she’s been able to find anything out has she? Otherwise she would have let us know by now.”
“Oh is that so?” said a fresh voice from the doorway and the startled girls turned to see Joey herself standing there, carrying a Moses basket full of babies. She had had to deliver her babies early because of the accident and so the three boys had all been born four months prematurely. There had been worry over them, but because they were Maynard’s, they were now as right as rain and named Pat, Matt and Nat.
“Joey! I mean-” said Esmeralda-Kate hurriedly, “Mrs Maynard! What are you doing here?!”
“To see you two of course! And to show off my new babies and catch up with the gossip. As for what you were just yelling at Mary-Lou- what rot! I’ve been very busy I’ll have you know my girl. Having hyper-pleuro-pneumonia-brain-fever, and giving birth to triplets hasn’t slowed me down. Now sit down both of you, I have some rather surprising news.”
“You mean we are related,” said Mary-Lou breathlessly.
“Well of course!” snapped Joey. “I’m always right! No the surprising news is just how closely you two are related. In fact, well, you’re twin sisters!”
Both the girls gasped. Typically, it was Mary-Lou who recovered first. “But- how-why? How did this happen? We have different parents!”
Jo shook her head slowly. “It seems there was some dark secret in Esmeralda-Kate’s family. It wasn’t as perfect as it seemed.”
“I knew it!” crowed Mary-Lou triumphantly.
“It seems Essy, that you were adopted when you were a small baby. Your mother, Mary-Lou, was only young when she had you two, and felt she couldn’t cope with two babies. Although I managed fine with three!”
Esmeralda-Kate spoke. “But mother? How can I tell her that I know? This news will kill her!”
Joey laughed. “I cabled her last week. And your mother too Mary-Lou. They are all coming here next week for a big reunion! Isn’t that nice!” Joey beamed.
“But mother, oh she’s not well! I can’t see her anymore!” Esmeralda-Kate explained her situation. Joey sat still for a minute and then nodded.
“It’s clear to me what should happen. I will adopt you and your brother and sister. Then you can spend holidays with me so you can be near your mother. How does that sound?!”
Esmeralda-Kate stared. “But- you babies-”
Joey waved her hand dismissively. “Rosli will take care of that. Don’t you worry my pet. Now, I have some news for everyone, so if we could just go into the corridor where I can announce it…”
Joey led the way into the wide hall, and as word spread that she had news, the hallway soon filled with both staff and girls, all excited.
“Well people. I have some special news for you all. Although my triplets have just been born, and it’s very early days yet, I’m pleased to announce that- well- Jack and I are expecting quads!”
At this there was instant pandemonium. “Quads?!” squeaked Hilda Annersley. “You always threatened them but I never thought you would actually have them!”
Joey laughed. “Well it was a surprise to me! But that brings our total to twenty nicely.”
“And then you’ll stop?” asked Mary-Lou.
Joey considered. “I’m not sure. You see, I like big families.”
Everybody stared. Then with one voice they all miraculously shouted together: “Joey! You’re incorrigible! Hurray for the Chalet School! God bless the Chalet School! Three cheers for the Chalet School!”

 

#185:  Author: Dot, Location: Ireland PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:23 am

Steph, this is hilarious. Thank you so much for such a good laugh.

 

#186:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:24 am

Steph, you're a star!!!


Thanks honey, and have a great holiday!!!!

 

#187:  Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:25 am

*weeps gently and falls off chair*

Thank you Steph, this is brilliant! Have a good holiday

 

#188:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:40 am

Three cheers for the incorrigible (I hope) drabbler!!

 

#189:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 7:13 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Wonderful!

 

#190:  Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 7:50 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Steph, I've just found this, and I can't remember the last time I laughed so much!!

Well done, and enjoy your holiday.

 

#191:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:09 am

Stupendous, Steph. Have a good holiday (though you'll be back when you read this).

I shall re-read it while you are away for my daily dose of laughter!

thank you

 

#192:  Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:09 am

Fantastic Steph - and a true CS ending!! Hope you enjoy your holiday!

 

#193:  Author: Guest,  PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:28 am

Absolutely brilliant Steph, although I did get the relation-link wrong! I thought that

Quote:
Esmeralda-Kate Delochanis


Was going to be Mlle de Lachenais' (sp) long lost daughter/niece!!

 

#194:  Author: Richenda,  PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:29 am

Grrrrrr

Twas me.

 

#195:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 10:52 am

Thank you Steph for a wonderful story, I shall miss it


I hope you have a great holiday

 

#196:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:27 am

Super, Steph, another great belly-laugh. Have a good holiday.

 

#197:  Author: Marianne, Location: Bournemouth PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:06 pm

Excellent!
Just read this from the beginning
v.g.g Laughing

 

#198:  Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:19 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL Thanks Steph for giving us such a good laugh - that was absolutely brilliant. Have a good holiday, you've definately earned it. ROFL ROFL ROFL

Star Wars

 

#199:  Author: Laura, Location: London (ish) PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:32 pm

Steph, this was great. Have a nice holiday away from the stressful world of CBBers demanding more drabble! Very Happy

 

#200:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 4:52 pm

Fantastic Steph! Thank you!

(When can we expect the next one? Wink )

 

#201:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:08 pm

Brilliant Steph - very very funny! Hope you have a nice relaxing holiday now! Smile

 

#202:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 9:34 pm

Brilliant

Love the ending, as typical as every little bit of the story.

Thanks.

 

#203:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 2:44 pm

Have just managed to catch up with this - and just been caught giggling like mad in the office. Luckily for me it wasn't anyone who couls cause problems. Fantastic drabble so so funny.

As you won't see this until after your holiday hope it is a really nice and enjoyable one.

 

#204:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 1:51 pm

Excellent Steph, gurglingly funny right to the end. You'll be back by the time you read this, so I hope you had a good holiday.

 

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