She is the very Model of a Guide leader so Beautiful
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1: She is the very Model of a Guide leader so Beautiful Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 12:39 am

This was written with the full knowledge and permission of the Nameless Guide Leader. Anyone else contemplating a project of this type should make sure the person they are writing about a) doesn't mind and b) is going on holiday for a week immediately after you post it!


To be sung to the tune of "A Modern Major-General" - by Messrs Gilbert and Sullivan.


NAMELESS GUIDE LEADER:
I am the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the Squeens Chaletian, and I quote the fights drabborial
From Lewisham to Cam-ber-idge, in order so historical;
And unlike Joey I’m aware of matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About RCS theory I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the setting of a bombing fuse.

ALL:
With many cheerful facts about the setting of a bombing fuse.
With many cheerful facts about the setting of a bombing fuse.
With many cheerful facts about the setting of a bombing fuse.

NAMELESS GUIDE LEADER:
I know clouds of different types both nimbus and the cumulus;
I know the gerbils come from the family gerbillius:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful.

ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
She is the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful

NAMELESS GUIDE LEADER:
I know our drabble history, of Veta and of all the Shocks;
I stay up late on MSN and drink neat whisky on the rocks,
I cringe at the descriptions given of Minnie the minibus,
In hysterics I can very nearly clear the room of us;

I can tell my curds and whey from the process of smelly cheese,
I know all the letters of the alphabet, including those from A to Z‘s!
Then I can hum a tune of which I've heard the music is a bore,
And whistle a high “g” from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

ALL:
And whistle a high “g” from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle a high “g” from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle a high “g” from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

NAMELESS GUIDE LEADER:
Then I will write a new drabble in some bizarre-ish cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of the modern Guiders uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful.

ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
She is the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful.

NAMELESS GUIDE LEADER:
And then one day I will be found by enjoying toast and Ritalin,
When I can tell a pixie from a truly wicked hobgoblin,
At such affairs as parties and surprises I'm a proletariat,
And I don’t know precisely what is meant by "Madagascar cat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in torturing of Les-e-ley,
When I know more of tactics than a Middle in a Splashery--
In short, when I've a smattering of a criminal strategy,
You'll say a better Guide leader has never sat upon a pea.

ALL:
You'll say a better Guide leader has never sat upon a pea.
You'll say a better Guide leader has never sat upon a pea.
You'll say a better Guide leader has never sat upon a pea.

NEMELESS GUIDE LEADER:
For all my guide knowledge, though I'm nice and savoury,
I’ve only been brought down by the evil of Mister Cadbury;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful.

ALL:
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
She is the very model of a Guide leader so beautiful.

 

#2:  Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 12:50 am

Laughing ROFL Laughing ROFL Laughing ROFL Laughing ROFL Laughing ROFL Laughing ROFL Laughing ROFL

I love it. Well done, Rachel TW!

Laughing ROFL

 

#3:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 12:52 am

Brilliant - but now I've got the tune thoroughly in my head and it wont stop

 

#4:  Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 1:15 am

*mystified as to why Rachel is worried about (a) when she has (b)...* That was relatively harmless for you! ROFL

 

#5:  Author: Angel, Location: London, England PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:23 am

*grins*

Loved it

 

#6:  Author: catherine, Location: York PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 9:45 am

ROFL!! ROFL

It takes a mastermind to come up with this!!!

 

#7:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:30 am

Wonderful Rachel!!! And as wicked as usual!!!

 

#8:  Author: Marianne, Location: Bournemouth PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:55 am

excellent

 

#9:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 11:48 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Rachel, you are a genius.







Genius and insanity are very close!

 

#10:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 12:11 pm

I take it that your comment in small type is from personal experience Lesley?
We all acknowledge your genius of course, so does the rest follow?

 

#11:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 12:12 pm

Great, Rachel - but now I won't be able to get the tune out my head either!

 

#12:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 3:47 pm

*Giggles* Wonderful Rachel Very Happy

 

#13:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 5:16 pm

Rachel, that was superb! Hmming it now, and I'll never hear the G&S words correctly again, never mind hear it without picturing the guide leader's face!

Thanks.


Love the caveat at the beginning, shows your wisdom as well as the parody showing your genius!

 

#14:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 6:37 pm

Rachel! That was brilliant!!!!
You are a very clever witchy big sis!

 

#15:  Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right! PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:19 pm

Laughing hilarious - need I say more !?

 

#16:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:33 am

Rachel, that was terrific, thank you.

 

#17:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:39 am

ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFLMAO!!

 

#18:  Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 12:32 pm

hehehehe - fantastic, Rachel Very Happy

*now stuck with a mixture of this and Tom Lehrer's "the Elements" in my head...most confusing Confused*

 

#19:  Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 12:41 pm

Inspired! Thank you Rachel!

 

#20:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2004 4:09 pm

wonderful Rachel, I know I was part of the conversation when this started but I have only know caught up with it.

 

#21:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:13 pm

*giggling*

Shame I don't know the tune really...

 

#22:  Author: Charlotte, Location: North Wales (until September!) PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:37 pm

If you've got sound, and don't mind the tom Lehrer Lryics, you can find the tune here http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html

 

#23:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:45 pm

Thanks Charlotte Very Happy sadly our speakers appear to have a nervy b... perhaps I shall just have to ask the gifted authoress to perform it the next time I see her Twisted Evil

 

#24:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:49 pm

LOL Xan!!!

Please do ask her!

 

#25:  Author: Emily, Location: Munchkinland PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 10:38 pm

Maybe you could get the CBB Ensemble to perform it at the SG? Especially since I won't be there! Twisted Evil

 

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