Jem's Perfect Wife
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#1: Jem's Perfect Wife Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:19 pm

With many thanks to Carolyn who's idea it was originally.



Thanks to her cousin Cosimo’s foiled attempt to kidnap the Princess Elizaveta from the Chalet School, Madge had quite enough to think of during the final weeks of term, without the added pressure of making arrangements for her wedding.
Nevertheless, rings were bought, shimmery white dresses were obtained for the Bride and her three maids, Joey, Juliet and the Robin, guests were invited, arrangements were made for Joey and Robin to stay with friends for the two weeks that the newly married couple would be on Honeymoon in Italy, the civil ceremony was booked, and finally the large school room was decorated in preparation for religious ceremony which would finally join Madge Bettany and James Russell together in holy matrimony.
Jem Russell had played his part in making the arrangements, he had booked, and paid for, all the officials, he had chosen his own attire, and he had collected the red roses and carnations which made up the bouquets of his bride and her attendants. It was he, also, who had arranged the honeymoon. He was also making one other preparation, at night, in the large basement of the Sanatorium.

The day of the wedding dawned with a thin layer of mist already losing the battle to withstand the bright sunshine, the glasslike surface of the Tiernsee reflected the perfect blueness of the sky. It was the perfect day for a wedding; Margaret Daphne Bettany was a perfect bride, never before had she looked as lovely as she did the moment she walked into the schoolroom on Herr Mensch’s arm.
The service was not overlong, the register was signed, and the glorious day allowed the couple and all their guests to partake of their meal in the garden. Speeches and toasts were made, and it is on record that the bride blushed deeply when she was first alluded to as Frau Dokter Russell, but all to soon the festivities drew to an end, the bride changed into her going away clothes, and the couple and their attendants were packed into the Padre’s car to make a dash for the small railway station.
Time was short, the train almost ready to leave the station by the time Jem and Madge had settled into their carriage. Jem was very pleased that he had made arrangements for his extra trunk to be delivered directly to the station from the Sanatorium.

As the train chugged through the countryside the couple took advantage of the privacy afforded by their carriage to indulge in hand holding, looking deeply into one another’s eyes, and all the other small romances that newly wed couples are apt t indulge in. When the next station brought a further influx of travellers, meaning that they no longer had the compartment to themselves, they settled for gazing at one another with long lingering looks. In between times Jem settled back with a smug expression on his face, congratulating himself on his choice of bride, she was surely the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Madge dimpled shyly, thinking her husband was the most handsome man she had ever set eyes on. In between times she thought upon the forthcoming night with an anxious enthusiasm. Jem had no such anxieties, he knew exactly what the night would bring. His eyes gleamed with excitement as he anticipated what lay ahead.

Eventually the train chugged into a station and settled down for the night. Those intrepid souls who wished to travel further afield were forced to clamber from their carriages, traverse the station, and clamber back into different carriages on different trains. For once, the time tables had been arranged to allow Madge and Jem to accomplish this at a leisurely pace, and after escorting Madge to their sleeping compartment, Jem had plenty of time to oversee their luggage. It was as well for his plans that he did so, since he managed to prevent his trunk and Madge’s small suitcase from being stored in the deepest recesses of the guards van.
By the time the lengthy train steamed out of the station all the passengers and all the various trunks and cases were where they should be, and dinner was awaiting to be served in the dining car. As they had dined so well, and in Madge’s case not quite wisely, earlier in the day, the Russells opted for the second sitting. After sating their appetites with the fare on offer, which was good, but not quite so delicious as the feast prepared earlier by Marie and Eigen, they returned to find that the bunks had been made up for the night. Madge hesitated slightly in the doorway before she walked into the carriage, her chin held high.

“That’s my girl,” Jem turned to face his new wife, and placing his hands upon her shoulders, he bent towards her and kissed her gently on her lips. A moments hesitation from Madge, then she gave herself to the moment and responded with increasing passion, throwing her arms around his neck. After a quick glance to ensure that the blinds were drawn, and they had complete privacy, he responded likewise, placing his hands around her neck, whilst keeping her soft welcoming mouth covered by his own, thus it was, that as his grip tightened, her cries of alarm were inaudible to all save himself, and he was able to retain his grasp on her neck until she slipped into unconsciousness.
As soon as he felt the body go limp in his arms, Jem rushed to complete the second part of his plan. He laid Madge on the lower bunk, making sure that she was as close to the side as possible, then he scooted out into the corridor where he retrieved the trunk from a small curtained off sleeping area which he had had the foresight t book in advance.
Thankful that he had also had the foresight to affix castors to the bottom of the trunk, he wheeled it into the compartment and began to work on the many locks holding down the lid. His surgeon’s fingers tackled the job swiftly, without fumbling, and moments later he began to remove the contents. He placed the largest object next to Madge’s prone body, then he began to sort out the other equipment; Once everything was connected to his satisfaction, it was only a matter of moments before he had finished his work. He quickly threw back all the equipment into the trunk, leaving only the largest object lying on the bunk. This time he only bothered to secure the one lock, before he pushed the trunk back into the small slip.

His return to the carriage came not a moment to soon, small moaning noises told him that Madge was regaining consciousness. He stood over his bride and stroked her cheek gently, then he drew a sharpened carving knife out from his briefcase and dispassionately cut her throat, quickly placing a pillow over the wound to soak up all the blood.
He failed to avoid every droplet of the claret spraying out of the gaping hole, but he had nothing to do for the next hour or so, except to clean up, and wait. An hour passed, and another fifteen minutes, and finally it was time. As the train passed a particularly desolate and mountainous region Jem opened the window and heaved Madge’s inert body into space, along with the bloody pillow, and his own once pristine shirt. The knife was too good to throw away, after a long rinse it was as good as new.

Then he turned his attention to the object laying on the bed, using the contents of his medical bag to effect the result he wanted. He was soon rewarded as the figure stirred, “Oh, I must have gone to sleep, I’m sorry. I will make it up to you, whatever you want me to do, just say, and I‘ll do anything you want.”
Jem looked into the beautiful features of Madge Russell, mark II. Thanks to his newy perfected cloning technique, and the few adjustments he had made as he transmitted the original’s thought patterns, he now had the perfect wife.

Last edited by Ellie on Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:03 am; edited 2 times in total

 

#2:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:26 pm

Ellie, that was absolutly fantastic!!!

LOLOLOLOL


Loved it.

 

#3:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:26 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#4:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:27 pm

ROFLROFLROFLROFL
Oh ELLIE!!!!
*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
That was inspired!!

 

#5:  Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet! PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:28 pm

*rofl*

Ellie that's brillant and well done for writing it whilst still yibbling on msn!

 

#6:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:32 pm

ELLIE! Where do you get the ideas from! Mr. Green ROFL ROFL

 

#7:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:35 pm

From Carolyn, I've edited the post to say so.

 

#8:  Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right! PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:38 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing
Hysterical
Thanks Ellie !

 

#9:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:53 pm

I was reading though that without a clue as to what was coming next. That was hilarious!

 

#10:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 11:17 pm

Im soooooooooooo glad you wrote it!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#11:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 11:23 pm

Ellie you are soooo clever

 

#12:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 11:39 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Ellie!!!! That was inspired! Poor Madge. Sad

 

#13:  Author: Rebecca, Location: Kendal/Oxford PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 12:11 am

Well, it makes a lot of sense of what happened to Madge in the series! Thanks, Ellie!

 

#14:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 1:02 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

brilliant Ellie! and well done Carolyn for the inspiration! Very Happy

 

#15:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 8:27 am

Well done Carolyn for thinking of it, and you for explaining exactly where 'sweet Lady Russell' came from!

 

#16:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 12:52 pm

Terrific, Ellie, I can say no more!

 

#17:  Author: catherine, Location: York PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 1:40 pm

LOL Ellie!

Now I understand the msn conversation last night!

 

#18:  Author: Mora, Location: Lancaster PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 2:01 pm

LOL! Shocked Much disturbed, but very funny! ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#19:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 3:13 pm

That was wonderful, Ellie! Are we going to get a part II, explaining how, after she Canada, she was back to her snappy old self?!

 

#20:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 5:31 pm

I want to know if Jem tried it on with others??? His daughters perhaps??

And did it fail with Jo?

 

#21:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 6:13 pm

*chuckles madly* Fabuclous Ellie!

 

#22:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 6:21 pm

*giggles wildly*

Poor poor Madge! It explains a lot though.

*slides off chair*

 

#23:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 8:17 pm

*splutters*

Ellie!

 

#24:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 8:18 pm

Ellie! What outrageous thought will you have next?!

Brilliantly funny though. Laughing

 

#25:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 2:33 am

Ellie that was fantastic - so funny.

 

#26:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 10:19 pm

Ellie!!! Shocked Shocked Shocked

That was totally outrageous ... and also hysterically funny!!
Quite inspired - thank you!!
ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

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