#501: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:07 pm I've only just caught up with this again Sue, and I'm so glad I have, it's sooo funny, and wasn't that just typical Mary Lou.
Hope to see the next bit soon.
#502: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 8:37 pm So was Vi Lucy the phantom lurker?
#503: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 8:48 pm Hope to see the next installment of this soon!
#504: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 9:02 pm OK, new Poll up as per Sue's request.
Hunter is Out, who next...and the mystery figure still hasn't been revealed.
Any chance of some more Sue
#505: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:13 pm *chants for Sue to post more!*
#506: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, GermanyPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 6:02 am I hope his exit is VERY bad for his ego!!!
#507: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 9:01 pm Ah, but can anything dent Jem's ego?
#508: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, GermanyPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:23 pm I sure hope so!
#509: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:42 am I've just caught up on a whole load of this...... hope we see Jo and Pam "discussing" Reg in more detail soon!
#510: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:13 am Sorry you have had to wait so long but I have been full of cold all week and have had no inspiration.
‘Good evening, viewers. Welcome to the programme, last night saw Mary-Lou as the fifth person to be evicted from the jungle.’ Vikki began yet another programme. ‘In a moment we will be going into the camp to see today’s action but please remember to vote during the programme and then at the end we will announce who is next to leave.’
‘Yes,’ added Rachel. ‘We are now halfway through our Chalet Celebrities so your vote does count.’
‘Yesterday began very wet,’ said Vikki. ‘’Our Celebrities were not very happy and spent most of the day sitting round the campfire trying to keep dry. Today is very different. It is already very sunny and beginning to get warm. Lets go into the camp and find out what is happening today.’
The camera panned into the camp to show Hunter and Jem sitting by the fire drinking tea whilst Nell Pam and Jo were doing some of the exercises they had been doing earlier in the week with Mary-Lou.
‘Ouf. I’ve had enough,’ Jo spluttered and she staggered over to the campfire and the two men.
Nell and Pam gave up a couple of minutes later and joined them. Pam sat down between Nell and Jo. Jo immediately got up and sat the other side of Jem, leaving Jem and Hunter on one side and Nell on the other between her and Pam. Pam just sat and looked at the floor.
‘It is very quiet with only the five of us,’ Nell said brightly.
‘It will get a lot quieter too,’ Hunter replied. ‘I wonder who the next one will be?’
‘Me I hope,’ Pam muttered.
‘Why Pam? I thought you liked it here?’ Nell asked.
‘I did like it but I’ve had enough now.’ Pam replied with a pointed look at Jo.
‘The viewers seem to like you though Pam and that’s what counts,’ said Hunter after waiting in vain for either of the others to join the conversation.
‘I don’t mind staying if that’s what the viewers want, but I’m glad it’s only a few days to go,’ was Pam’s answer.
‘Only another three days to go,’ Nell said. I wonder if we will find it very strange being back in the outside world after being in here for so long?’
‘Its certainly very peaceful here and very enlightening.’ Hunter replied.
During this conversation Jo and Jem both sat in silence looking at the floor.
Then ‘The Voice’ announced ‘Could Jem please go the Bush Telegraph.’
Jem got up and left the camp without a word. When he arrived at the Bush Telegraph ’The Voice’ wanted to interview him.
‘How have you enjoyed your time in camp Jem?’ was the first question.
‘Once I got used to it I have quite enjoyed some of it. I do not enjoy the Bush Tucker Trials nor the Treasure Chest things they seem a bit pointless. But it is nice to have time just to sit.’
‘The point of the Bush Tucker Trials is for you to see how you might to eat if you lived in the jungle and to see how people pit their wits against nature to win food. Admittedly we do it under controlled conditions.’ ‘The Voice’ intoned.
‘Why not just feed us real sized food portions on a plate? Three courses might be nice too,’ Jem answered.
‘Because that would spoil the meaning behind the programme,’ said ‘The Voice.’
‘Well I don’t think we have had enough to eat. I am a doctor I ought to know,’ Jem huffed.
‘The Voice’ was heard to sigh, then it said ‘All the portions are controlled and should give you the right amounts of nutrients that you need. We cannot help it if your fellow campers do not win the right number of meals. The rice and beans you are given should sustain you.’
‘Not very appetizing,’ Jem declared. ‘I could do with a good size steak and salad. With new potatoes, trifle to follow and for starters deep fried mushrooms.’
‘Sorry Jem,’ said ‘The Voice’ trying to suppress a chuckle. ‘You will have to wait to be voted out for that. Thank you that is the end of our chat. Would you ask Hunter to come up now.’
Jem wandered back to camp and passed on the message to Hunter who then set off for the Bush Telegraph.’
‘Welcome Hunter,’ said ‘The Voice’ as he arrived. ‘Please come in and sit down.’
Hunter sat.
‘How are you?’ was ‘The Voice’s’ first question.
‘Fine thank you,’ he replied.
‘How have you enjoyed your time in camp?’ ‘The Voice’ queried.
‘I have enjoyed it very much,’ was Hunter’s eager response. ‘It has been a time of great reflection and illumination to me.’
‘In what way?’ was ‘The Voice’s’ next question.
Hunter looked down at the floor and paused before answering.
‘When I came into the camp I thought it would be a pushover. I would be here with a load of lovely ladies and they would look after my every need. It has been so different to that. I have learned a lot about myself.’
‘In what way?’ ‘The Voice’ asked quietly.
‘That I need to show more respect for women.’ Hunter replied.
‘Do you think you will be able to keep treating ladies nicely when you leave?’
‘I hope so,’ Hunter replied quietly.
‘Thank you,’ said ‘The Voice’. ‘You may go back to camp now.’
Hunter returned to the camp to discover that Jem had gone to do a Bush Tucker Trial, and the others were swimming in the pool.
Hunter sat on a log watching the women in the pool. After a short while Pam came out and sat beside him.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked her.
‘I’m fine,’ she replied.
‘Are you sure?’ Hunter queried.
‘Well…. Jo is being a bit funny with me. But she’s been like that since we got here it’s just a bit more noticeable as there are less of use now,’ Pam answered finally.
‘Umm that’s a bit difficult. She can be a bit tenacious and will not change an opinion easily.’ Hunter responded.
‘The thing is she has got hold of the wrong end of the stick. Len and Reg had already split up. He left the Platz in a hurry as he couldn’t face Jack and he knew if he hung around to try and brave it out Jo would have dragooned them into a marriage. I don’t know if you know Reg’s story but his parents died young and he was brought up in a Yorkshire Village by an elderly relative who didn’t believe in further education and wanted Reg to go work on a farm when he left school. He met Jo and Jack who persuaded her to let him stay on at school and become a doctor. Nothing wrong with that but Jo took every opportunity to remind him of his early life and the life they had rescued him from. He was given the impression that marriage to Len was the final stamp of approval. He had looked for a little chalet on the Platz but Jo would have none of it. She wanted them to have some attic rooms as a flat in Fruedesheim. Even Len was not happy about that but each time they objected Jo harked back to the war when she had one or other of her married friends staying in an attic flat in Plas Gwyn.
If they had married she would have driven them apart in less than a year. But she will not listen to reason. Reg tried to talk to Jack about it but he just said to Reg that everything would work out. Then Jo started telling Len that when they had children Anna and Rosli would look after them for her. Reg said he actually felt sorry for Len. The reason he left it so near the wedding to leave the Platz was as usual the precious San. They were short staffed as usual but a locum had been engaged so Reg could have a month off for his honeymoon so as soon as he had handed his cases over to the locum he scarpered.’
Hunter was unable to reply to this as the others came out of the water to join them, The conversation became general and after the swimmers had dried off they went back to camp.
They were just sitting round the campfire with mugs of tea when Jem arrived back, looking happy for once as he had managed all five stars.
‘What did you have to do? Jo queried when he had imparted this news.
‘It was similar to the one Nell had earlier,’ he said. ‘I had to lie in a hole in the ground with rats and spiders and stuff. Very very unpleasant, but much easier than some of the others.’
After this Nell and Pam had to go and do the Treasure Trail. They solved the clues easily but could not see the box. Eventually they found it hidden under some bushes and took it back to camp.
Nell took the envelope from inside the lid. ‘Today’s choice,’ she read. ‘Is ‘A Continental Tour,’ from Kathie Ferrars or ‘Something from Switzerland,’ from Rosalind Moore. Vote please.’
Jo and Jem voted for Rosalind, Pam and Hunter for Kathie. Nell got the casting vote. She sided with Pam and Hunter. When the box was opened it contained a large box of chocolates, from several European countries. Rosalind’s box they found later had contained a cowbell.
After this the camera went back to the studio.
‘Oh dear,’ said Vikki. ‘Hearts seem to be being opened today.’
‘Mmm,’ Rachel replied. ‘I wonder what would have been said if the swimmers had stayed in the water a bit longer? I also wonder what may happen if Jo and Pam spend time together? That will have to be on another programme though, as it is nearly time to go into the camp and tell them who has been evicted now.’
Vikki and Rachel set off to the camp. Whilst they were walking there the viewers were shown highlights of the rest of the campers day. Another swim, more talking and finally the cooking and eating of the evening meal.
Soon the two presenters arrived at the edge of the camp, where they paused.
‘ There have been more votes than ever,’ Rachel said ‘And for once we have one clear candidate for eviction.’
The two carried on into the camp.
‘Good evening all,’ Vikki and Rachel chorused together.
‘Hello.’
‘Evening.’
Multiple simultaneous greetings came from the campers huddled by the fire.
‘You know why we are here.’ Vikki said. ‘We’ve come to tell you who is now to leave the camp.’
‘Rachel consulted her notes. ‘There have been half a million votes more than last night. It is not as close as yesterday either. We have one person ahead by quite a few thousand votes.’
Vikki faced Jo. ‘It’s not you.
Rachel smiled at Nell. ‘Nor you. Sorry Pam it’s not you tonight either.’
‘Therefore it is between you two.’ Vikki said to Hunter and Jem.
‘Jem you have at least one more night here. Hunter it is you. You have five minutes to collect your stuff, say your goodbyes and leave the camp.’ Rachel explained.
The two left the camp and started up the road bridge.
Vikki faced the camera. ‘Join us after the break to hear Hunter’s story of life in the jungle.’
The credits rolled.
#511: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:29 am giggles at Jem wanting to tuck into steak and potatoes Glad Pam got some of her animosity of her chest though. Thank godness they got chocs and not the cowbell ..... at least it might shut Jem up moaning about the food!
More Please Sue!!!
#512: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/LeicesterPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:52 am I thought it was time I actually read this and i haven't giggled so much in ages!
I'm loving it, thanks Sue
#513: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, GermanyPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:32 am Hooray! It's lovely to have more of this! I'm interested to see how Hunter will react when he is interviewed, and if his apparent change of heart about women will continue.
#514: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:46 am *plumps down on beanbag to wait for the next part* Can't wait to see Hunter's interview.
#515: Author: Nicole, Location: New ZealandPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:08 am *pulls another bean bag over and sits next to Pim*
Great stuff, Sue. I'm enjoying this so much.
#516: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:22 am Thanks Sue that was a great part - what a pity that Jo couldn't hear Pam when she was talking to Hunter.
Looking forward to more!
#517: Author: KB_2, Location: AustraliaPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 9:02 am It would certainly have been interesting, although I doubt Jo would have believed her.
#518: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.IrelandPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 10:08 am Very good Sue, more please.
#519: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:01 pm More please...!
#522: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 1:23 am OOOOh!! More please Sue!!!
#523: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/CambridgePosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 10:32 am Thank you Sue
*politely requesting a little more*
#524: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 2:29 pm Hopefully there will be some more over the weekend. My cold seems to have stopped the PB whispering to me. I think he's afraid he'll catch it.
#525: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:16 pm *Huggles Sue and offers cold remedies*
Looking forward to the weekend
#526: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:42 pm *Sends some of Miss Annersley's stack of handkerchiefs.*
Thanks for that lovely long post Sue, looking forward to more when you feel able - Hunter may have said he's changed his views towards women, but I haven't seen that much evidence.
#527: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 9:08 pm *huggles Sue and sends lemsip *
#528: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 5:02 pm Thank you all for the lemsip etc. It has certainly worked. Here is Hunter's interview - which certainly did not go as expected.
Hunter’s Interview.
Or Did He Fall Or Was He Pushed.
As the programme restarted it showed Hunter striding arrogantly up the walkway.
As the camera pulled back from this it moved to show Vikki and Rachel standing ready to welcome him to the interview platform.
‘Welcome back,’ Vikki said brightly into the camera. ‘We are about to hear Hunter’s story of life in the jungle camp.’
‘I wonder what he will have to say?’ added Rachel. ‘Especially about his time spent with Mary-Lou and Evadne, and how he felt about Robin? Oh here he comes now.’
This last was said as Hunter arrived onto the platform, he paused for a quiet word with the smiling waiter as he collected his glass of champagne. Then he advanced on the two presenters.
‘Good evening Hunter,’ said Vikki who was first in line, extending her hand towards Hunter expecting to shake hands.
‘Good evening lovely lady,’ Hunter almost purred raising Vikki’s hand to his lips.
As Hunter advanced on Rachel Vikki was seen to quickly scrub her hand on the back of her jeans.
‘And good evening lovely lady number two,’ Hunter said smarmily as he quickly grabbed the hand Rachel was trying to hide, and also raised it to his lips.
‘Well Hunter, welcome to the interview platform. Before we hear your views on your time in camp let us have a look at the highlights of your time in camp.’
As the pulled back from the table Rachel could be seen to get a handkerchief from her pocked and fiercely scrub her hand.
The scenes rolled showing film of Hunter’s times in camp. His Bush Tucker Trials and Treasure Trails. Snippets of him watching Robin, his chats with Mary-Lou and Evadne. The short film ended with the unfortunate episode when Mary-Low had rescued him from the snake.
‘Now,’ said Vikki brightly, keeping her hands well out of the way. ‘Tell us your opinion of life in camp’
‘I was flattered to be invited to join this camp. I was really looking forward to impressing the ladies with my Tarzan impressions, being able to take of myself, and all the lovely ladies in the jungle. I did get a bit of a shock when I saw exactly who were the other contestants. I wondered why I had been chosen, then I thought I might be able to patch up my relationship with Miss Bettany. I was soon disabused of this by learning that she had married that stuffy Maynard and has a couple of kids. Well they deserve each other I think. I remember Robin as a child and as she is not married I thought I would let her see what life could be like with a real man around.’
At this point Vikki tried to interrupt him but he carried on heedlessly.
‘She seemed very pleasant at first then she began to hide in the bushes from me. I was very worried about this as goodness knows what she might have met in there. Evadne and Mary-Lou tried to tell me she has become a nun but I am not sure I believe them. I will find out now I am out of the jungle. Hopefully she will see things my way and come round to my way of thinking.’
This time Rachel did manage to interrupt him but thanks to a vaguely seen nudge from Vikki she swallowed her first remarks and instead said ‘Well that is something you will have to find out for yourself. How did you get on with Jem meeting him again after working with him so long ago?
‘Oh we got on very well. We have a lot of the same ideas and I have a great respect for his work. I have my surgery in Harley Street but it would be wonderful to have my own hospital or two like him. Of course it is not so easy nowadays to set up ones own hospital but I may see what I can do in that area when we get back. Of course if I could persuade little Miss Robin to see things my way perhaps Sir James will invite me to be a part of his empire.’
Rachel greeted this pronouncement with a splutter that was quickly changed into a cough and she thankfully sipped at a glass of water.
While this was happening Vikki has been listening to instructions from the studio through her ear piece and she turned to Hunter with a charming smile and said ‘But what about this?’
The cameras showed Hunter’s Bush Tucker interview and as it ended his last words
‘That I need to show more respect for women.’ Seemed to echo round the studio.
‘Do you think speaking as you have about Robin and your other attitudes to women belie that statement?’ Rachel asked quietly but with an edge to her voice.
‘Of course not,’ Hunter replied quickly. ‘Having respect for women means not treating them like slaves and stuff like that. Making them odd cups of tea and coffee. Letting them have the last word now and again in unimportant issues and of course treating them nicely. Women are a treasure to be cherished as my father used to say.’
Again Rachel had to control her breathing before she asked. ‘Are you sure you have that quite right?’
‘Oh yes. Women love to be pampered and have big decisions made for them. Any woman lucky enough to be married to me will have a fantastic life. Everything provided, all she will have to do is sit at home and keep is nice so I can bring my friends home when I wish. I will even bow to her feminine intuition and allow her to chose the decoration in her own sitting room. Our home will of course allow her a room of her own to entertain her friends to lunch while I am working.’
The camera shot round in time to catch the shocked looks on Vikki and Rachel’s faces as Hunter declaimed all this.
Gesturing to each other to go first hoping that neither would have to speak Vikki decided to bring the interview to a close.
‘Well thank you Hunter,’ she said lamely. ‘That was very interesting. You are a Chalet Celebrity Get Yourself Out of Here.’
Hunter stood up to leave the table round which the interview had taken place. He looked round searchingly but both Vikki and Rachel kept their hands firmly behind their backs. He gave up and walked away turning back after a few paces to say
‘Of course if Miss Robin is not amenable to my suggestion perhaps one of you two ladies might take it up.’
As Vikki turned to the camera to say ‘Join us tomorrow night to see who is next to be evicted.’ Hunter could be seen to take a step away then sprawl inelegantly on the studio floor. Only the most observant of viewers could see a very quick flash of silver as Rachel hid something underneath it.
Over in the studio Lisa, Pat and Jennie had watched the interview with mounting horror.
‘I hope there is no trouble over this,’ Jennie said worriedly.
‘It is one of the problems of live television,’ Pat said soothingly. ‘You never know it might put the ratings up for the rest of the series.’
‘I wish the boss would let us put cameras up in the hotel so see what happens when he sees Robin.’ Lisa added her comments.
Giggling softly the three women turned off the lights and left the studio.
#529: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 5:53 pm *Giggles innanely*
Thank you Sue...should have know Hunter wouldn't go as easily.
I wonder what is happening in the jungle now...only four (?) left.
#530: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 8:05 pm Absolutely inspired Sue!
Did wonder for a minute if the silver thing Rachel was hiding was a dagger!
#531: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 8:11 pm You can never tell with Rachel!!!
#532: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 8:48 pm *giggles and chants*
*goes off to wash hands*
#533: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lairPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:23 am Oh this was great Susan!
I'm so glad to see Hunter being taken down a peg or two - strictly through his lack of co-ordination making him fall over of course!
I understand the subtitle far better now!
#534: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:28 am Didn't think the expereience would prove to have a prfound impact on Hunter - glad Rachel stabbed him.
#535: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lairPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:30 am I *didn't* stab him - he fell over his big fat feet!
#536: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.IrelandPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:36 am Great Susan, thank you.
I loved Vikki rubbing her hand on her jeans.
#537: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern USPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:41 am Wonders whether Kate has just racked up another defendant, but...
Hunter certainly deserved to go SPLAT, in the most embarrassing manner possible. Worldwide TV seems a good start .
#538: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/CambridgePosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 9:55 am *snickering wildly*
#539: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 11:11 am If you really didn't stab him, Rachel, you missed the perfect opportunity to preform a great service to womankind.
#540: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 10:40 pm Here at last is the next update. Sorry for the delay. But now I have discovered MSM!!!!
Nearly the End.
‘Good evening viewers,’ said Rachel. ‘Welcome to our penultimate programme.’
‘Yes,’ Vikki chimed up. ‘Tonight you will vote off the ninth celebrity. Then tomorrow night we will have our grand finale. In a special longer edition of the programme tomorrow you will be able to vote for all 3 celebrities. After about forty-five minutes the person who has the least votes will be evicted in third place. Then later we will announce who is King or Queen of the jungle.’
‘Let us go and see how things are in the camp today. We are left with one man and three women. I wonder how Jem will cope without Hunter?’ Rachel queried as she turned to the screen to watch the day’s action.
The four campers were in the familiar position round the campfire. They were sitiing in two pairs, Nell and Pam at one side and Jam and Jo at the other.
‘I can’t believe there is only one more night,’ Jo was saying as the camera focused on the little group. ‘One more night and I will be back in the bosom of my family. I wonder how badly they have missed their Mamma? Anna will be there of course but there is no substitute for Mamma.’
Pam made a noise that could have been a choke or a cough.
Jo glared at her but did not speak directly to her but carried on with her musing aloud. ‘I wonder who will be voted out tonight? Shame for whoever it is, they will miss the last night.’
‘Whichever of us it is will have come fourth at least,’ said Nell placatingly. ‘That’s not bad out when ten of us started.’
Jem looked down his nose at her. ‘Fourth is not as good at first. It takes a very special person to win. You need all sorts of qualities, leadership, good people management skills, the ability to do any task you are asked. Yes,’ he repeated getting carried away with his own oratory. ‘You need to have very special qualities and of course to come over well on television so people will vote for you. I am used to being on camera. Many of the conferences I go to are filmed so that less fortunate doctors who are not able to be present in person are able to see what went on.’
‘I wonder who will be doing today’s Bush Tucker Trial?’ Nell queried in an attempt to change the topic of conversation. ‘We have all done at least one. I wonder what it will be.’
‘Not eating bugs again,’ Pam shuddered as she spoke. ‘Once of that was enough.’
‘I should think it was,’ Nell said with a sympathetic smile at her. ‘I don’t think it will be though.’
‘It might be,’ said Jo who had been whispering in Jem’s ear while Pam was speaking. ‘They may try and catch us out and have that one again.’
Pam looked a bit white at this and Nell hastened to reassure her. ‘They won’t do kit again and if they did some one different will be picked for it so don’t worry.’
Jo shot Nell a venomous look that Pam did not see. Nell returned the look with a glare of her own that made the younger woman look away, then she stood up and said ‘I’m off to the stream to a spot of washing.’
Nell waited until she was out of earshot then said quietly to Pam ‘Don’t worry you won’t have to do it.’ Then she stood up and said ‘I think I’ll do some washing to.’
Left alone with Jem who was sitting staring into space Pam curled up on her camp bed and went to sleep.
Meanwhile, breathing a silent prayer for help, Nell made her way down the trail to the stream. She paused screened by a bush on the bank of the stream to enjoy the scene before her eyes. Jo was crouched on the bank vigorously swishing something in the water. She took it out of the water, wrung it out, shook it and held it up for inspection. Nell saw what looked to be a t-shirt. Jo dropped it back in to the water rubbed some more soap on it and swished it about even more energetically than before.
‘Mind if I join you Jo? Nell asked stepping forward into the clearing. ‘Some of my garments could do with a freshen up before we go home too.’ For a few minutes Nell busied herself rinsing out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. A loud muttering behind drew her attention back to Jo, who was again holding up her maltreated t-shirt for inspection.
‘Something wrong?’ she asked.
‘This t-shirt looks nothing like it would if it was washed at home,’ Jo said holding the t-shirt out for Nell to look at.
‘I’m not surprised Jo, the way you have been wringing it. You have put more creases in than there were before you started. What happened Jo? You have had your Guide laundress badge for many years. This is how to do it,’ as she spoke Nell took her own t-shirt out of the water folded it and gently squeezed the water out of it. Then she held it out for Jo to see. It was not in pristine condition but looked a lot better than the one Jo held.
Jo stood and said ‘Hmmph. I’m off back to camp.’
As Jo turned to the path back to camp Nell uttered another soundless prayer and said ‘Wait a moment Jo. I would like to talk to you.’
Jo gave her a beaming smile and sat on a nearby log, having first inspected it for any form of insects. Nell finished her washing in silence and then went and sat beside the younger woman.
Before Nell could say anything, Jo said ‘Oh, Nell. It’s just like the old days in Tyrol, you me and Jem all we need is Madge and Hilda and it would be so lovely here.’
Nell took a deep breath. ‘That’s what I want to speak to you about Jo. You are behaving in a ridiculous fashion to Pam. She has done nothing wrong.’
‘Oh yes she has. She does not deserve to be spoken to or acknowledged. She stole my son-in-law, my daughter’s husband from under her nose, on the eve of the wedding too. My poor Len she was devastated. All the work she had put into the wedding, caterers, flowers, all her sisters and unmarried cousins and adopted sisters and little Mary Rosomon had their bridesmaids dress fitted. She had planned a superb procession, 12 bridesmaids, little Claire as a flower girl and Peggy’s little lad as a paige boy. They all looked so sweet in their outfits. I did try and persuade her not to have so many as Reg seemed a little overwhelmed but she insisted. Len has always been responsible you know and she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by leaving them out. And of course with her colouring the jade green looked fantastic, she was right about that.’
Nell who knew how much of this had been Len’s idea and how much her mothers’ remained unmoved by Jo’s speech.
‘Reg was overwhelmed Jo, because he had realised he did not love Len enough to marry her. Len knew this and she did not love him that way either. You know how she told us afterwards that if he had not left she would have done. She was carried away that summer, a bit scared of leaving home and school for the big world outside and didn’t know how she would cope. Getting engaged to Reg gave her a real option to come back and stay forever in the place she loved. When she went to Oxford she settled a lot quicker than she expected and she enjoyed it and did not want to come back to the Platz and particularly to marriage to a man ten years her senior.’
Jo stood up a closed look on her face. ‘I never thought I would say this Nell, after all our years of friendship but you are so wrong. You do not know Len at all. All she wanted after Oxford was to come home to the Platz, and settle down with Reg and give me lots of grandchildren.’
Nell sat for a little longer on her log watching Jo stalk up the path back to camp, then got up and followed her. Arriving back in camp she found Jo and Jem sitting on Jem’s bed chatting and Pam just getting up.
‘I suppose, even though there are so few of us we need wood. I will go and get some,’ Pam announced and left camp.
Nell flung the other two a baleful glare and hung her shorts and t-shirt on a nearby bush, before following Pam out of the camp.
Nell caught up the other woman as she was picking up wood a little way away from the camp. ‘I tried Pam,’ she said. ‘She still will not acknowledge the truth. She insists Len wanted the wedding and is broken hearted, over it. I am so sorry but you have at the most just over twenty-four hours to put up with her.’
Pam gave Nell a watery smile. ‘Thanks for trying, Nell. I’ll do my best to keep out of her way. Maybe one of us will be voted out tonight so that will end it.’
The two women picked up their wood and went back to camp. Just as they arrived ‘The Voice’ spoke.
‘Today’s Bush Tucker Trial is a very special one and all four of you will partake together. Please put on your swimming costumes and then make your way to the Bush Tucker clearing.’
The four of them left camp and walked along the path in single file with Jem leading, Jo and Nell in the middle, and Pam bringing up the rear. When they arrived at the clearing they found an artificial slope of soil had been built up from the pond towards the trees. 4 short metal posts had been driven into the soil at regulated intervals.
Vikki and Rachel were standing beside the slope.
‘Welcome to today’s Bush Tucker Trial,’ Vikki said turning to face the slope.
‘It is very, very simple,’ Rachel added with a smile. ‘All you have to do is climb up the slope to a post, cling on to it and the star fastened to each post until the horn sounds and you have meals for tonight. If you leave go of the post you may climb back up to it again but once you have picked your post you may not change it. Any questions?’
‘Er yes,’ Jem asked. ‘Why have we to wear our swimming clothes? Our trousers and climbing boots would be better.’
‘Oh,’ said Rachel with a little giggle. ‘Didn’t I tell you?’ We have a high powered hose at the top and there will be water running down the slope.’
As the four walked down to the bottom of the slope in preparation for their climb Jem said ‘I am the strongest I will go to the top. Nell as the eldest of the ladies take the bottom you other too have the middle two.’
They started off to the posts Nell taking the bottom one was their first, Jo stayed at the next one them Pam and Jem. As Jem clutched his post the water began to pour down the slope. The first jet of cold water caught him unawares and his grip loosened. The water travelled further down the slope, each camper having their grip loosened by it’s force. Jem slipped first and rolled head over heels down the slope, catching Jo on his way. At the bottom they grimly climbed back to the top of what was now rapidly turning into a mud bath. Lying full length in the mud they clung on to the posts with both hands. As Jo spreadeagled herself she saw Pam begin to slid down. Averting her face and trying to keep out of the way Jo managed not to be caught by the other woman’s sliding body. Pam began her climb back up just as Jem began to slid down again. All the time the water poured relentlessly down on them. Nell slipped too, though she had less far to go to the bottom, Jem and Pam met in the middle and both slid gracelessly to the bottom again. It was like a childs game up and down they went. The horn sounded as Nell Pam and Jo were clutching their posts and Jem was sliding down again. The water stopped pouring and the four wet and bedraggled campers climbed back to join Vikki and Rachel on the grass.
‘Well you got three stars,’ said Vikki.
Jem looked at the ground.
‘At least you will have some food tonight. Rachel said, trying to keep away from the mud. ‘I suggest you go back to camp and clean up.’
The four of them squelched their way back and went straight to the bathing pool. Soon they were dry and clean again and enjoying a hot cup of tea by the camp fire. Jem muttering all the while about how unfair the trial had been.
Jo looked at her cup. ‘I will be glad to go home, to have a decent cup of coffee. I am sick of tea,’ she said.
As they finished their tea ‘The Voice’ sounded again.
‘Time for the Bush Treasure Trail. today’s pair are Jo and Jem.’
Jem put out a hand and hauled Jo to her feet, and they left the camp.
Nell smiled at Pam ‘At least we get some peace while they are away,’ she said.
Jo and Jem were out of the camp for what seemed ages to the two left behind. Then suddenly they heard Jem’s voice through the trees.
‘I am telling you Jo we are nearly back at camp. I recognise that clump of bushes.’
But how can we be, we have not found the treasure chest, and we have followed the clues and the map so carefully.’ Came Jo’s voice sounding even nearer to the camp. Suddenly the pair burst into camp from a path they did not use very often.
Reprehensively Jem turned to his sister-in-law and said ‘Told you so!’
‘Bu…bu…but,’ spluttered Jo as she flung herself on her bed. ‘That’s not fair. We missed it.’
‘You don’t think it could be hidden here do you?’ Pam asked softly.
Jem turned to make a cutting remark but seeing the look on Nell’s face swallowed it and said instead ‘Where do you suggest we look?’
‘I don’t know,’ Pam admitted. ‘It could be anywhere, lets have a look.’
The three searched then an exclamation from Nell called them over to what had once been Biddy’s bed. Underneath it the ground had been disturbed. It was the work of moments to unearth the chest.
Jem carried it back to the fire opened it and tool out the envelope. ‘Today’s choice,’ he announced as he opened the envelope ‘is ‘A Reminder from Tyrol’ from Madge or ‘A present from France’ from Simone. Which do you think?’ Nell and Pam voted for Simone, Jo seeing this plumped for Madge. Jem much to Jo’s disgust sided with the other two, which turned out to be the right one a bottle of champagne. Madge’s was a bottle of water from the Tiern See.
The camera came back to the studio.
‘As you can see,’ Vikki began. ‘Our campers have had an action packed if wet and dirty day.’
‘Yes,’ continued Rachel. ‘They were well rewarded for their Trial with the champagne. However we are very nearly at the end of tonight’s programme and just have time to go the camp and evict one more camper. Let’s go.’
As the camera followed them down the walkway to the camp, Vikki turned to it and said ‘The voting is very, very close tonight, though we do have one person out ahead of the others. You have just over four minutes before we close the lines tonight.’
They walked on and soon arrived at the camp.
‘That’s it,’ Vikki announced. ‘The lines are closed, no more votes.’
The two arrived in camp to find the four sitting again round the fire.
‘Good evening campers,’ Rachel said. ‘Here we are again.’
Jem was heard to mutter something.
‘What was that?’ queried Rachel sweetly.
‘I said Get on with it, don’t keep us in suspense,’ Jem said angrily.
‘Well,’ said Vikki. ‘We can tell you that one person is way ahead of the others and that we are having a queen of the jungle.’
‘Yes,’ said Rachel quickly to avoid an outburst from the campers. ‘Tonight’s evictee is you Jem. Nell, Pam and Jo you have one more night here. Jem you have two minutes to say your goodbyes and leave the camp.’
Vikki turned to face the camera and said ‘Join us after the News and weather for our next programme which will be Jem’s story. Jem please join us on the interview platform as soon as you can.’
The credits rolled as the two presenters left the camp.
#541: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:10 pm Yay!! thank you Sue!!!!!!
#543: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:12 pm Poor Jem, he thought he was going to win didn't he?
I'm looking forward to seeing his interview though, I wonder what he will have to say about the others,
And thanks for a lovely long instalment Sue
#544: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:41 pm Yes Jem thought being a superior male he would win. Will write his story soon.
#545: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lairPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:50 pm That was a huge posting Susan! Well worth the wait!
Looking forward to both the exit interview AND the final night of jubgle lore - although it will be sad to have another drabble end
#546: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 5:48 am Thank you Sue - a wonderful posting!!!
Glad Jem has been voted out - such a pillock! Sorry Nell couldn't get through to Joey.
Looking forward to more - when you're ready!
#547: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 8:51 am That was wondereful Sue...loved the challenge and I could picture it as I read it, soooooooo funny!
Do you want me to do a final poll with all 3 in and no end time?
PM me as I won't be on msn till late if at all tonight as it's the brownie show then I'm straight out.
#548: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 10:49 am THE FINAL
Please note to keep some semblance of surprise in this, I have decided not to do a poll for the last 3. Will go with popular vote. Could you please PM me with who you want for 1st, 2nd and third.
I have Jem's interview to write which will take me a while so I will leave it open until next Friday - then I can write it over Easter.
Thank you for your help and for reading the story.
#549: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 10:54 am Thank you Sue Lovely long post
Off to decide who should win................
#550: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 11:10 am That is a great idea, then we can all be suprised!
Better save all the PM's in case there is a stewards enquiry if the one I want to win doesn't!!!
Wish Easter was closer so we could see the rest of the story!!!
#551: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 10:46 pm Wow Sue what a lovely long post......... poor Jem thought he would win cos he was a man and it serves him right to be voted off! Stupid fool!!
Can't wait for the interview and the Final!
#552: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:09 pm Here's the next part thanks to all who have voted to the final. There is still time for you to vote by pm.
Jem’s Story
Vikki and Rachel stood by the table on the interview platform watching Jem making his way up the walkway. He was walking very slowly and ponderously.
Vikki turned to the camera with a very bright smile and said ‘Welcome back everyone. We are waiting for Jem to join us here so we can find out first hand about his time in the jungle.’
‘Ah here he is now,’ Rachel said looking as if she wanted to grab him by the arm to hurry him along.
‘Good evening Jem,’ said Vikki trying to keep her smile in place. ‘Thank you for coming to the platform for interview, let’s sit down and you can tell us all about your time in the jungle.’
The three sat round the table.
‘Before you begin to tell us personally about your time in the jungle, let us look at your highlights.’ Rachel said.
The tape ran. It started with the arrival in camp, Jem rushing to the first available bed leaving some of the women to make their beds from scratch. He was seen to take on the first Bush Tucker Trial, and his other trials. Time round the campfire, the time when he had admitted to the other campers that he had not realised he was actually on television.
Finally the cameras came back to the three round the table.
Vikki and Rachel were looking as relaxed as ever but Jem was looking perplexed and seemed rather agitated. Noticing this Rachel looked at him and then said
‘Are you all right Jem, may I get you anything?’
‘Oh er… no,’ he said rapidly. ‘I was just wondering, seeing as this is on television, where the presenter is who is going to interview me?’
Rachel and Vikki exchanged glances and then Rachel speaking very slowly and distinctly said ‘I’m sorry Jem didn’t you understand? Vikki and I are the sole presenters for this programme. We introduce it, we come to visit the camp every day and then we give the bad news of who has been evicted. Then of course we have the pleasure of interviewing everyone after they leave the jungle. Why should we need a man to do that?’
‘Well I presumed that all the top jobs in the BBC were held by males. Young ladies are all very well in their place but I wouldn’t have thought very good in front of the cameras. Then of course they would leave the job as soon as they married, so would need replacing regularly.’
Vikki took a deep breath before replying ‘Well in this day and age women are just as good as men and can be married, have children and hold down jobs. Also this is not the BBC we are on Independent Television.’
‘Independent Television?’ Jem queried. ‘I thought there was only the BBC.’
‘No Jem. ITV has been running for many years. Now lets get down to your interview,’ Rachel interjected, looking for all the world as though she wanted to reach under the table for her shiny implement and hit Jem over the head with it. ‘What did you think of your time in the jungle? Did you enjoy it?’
Jem paused for a moment then said ‘I enjoyed being in the fresh air. Fresh air is very beneficial you know. It is very good for patients with TB. We wrap them up and they spend all day on the balconies.’
‘OK,’ Vikki broke in quickly as Jem paused for breath as she felt they were in for a lecture on TB. ‘Were there any parts of your stay that you didn’t enjoy?’
Again Jem paused as though considering his answer. ‘Well I was not happy about those poor girls having to endure the primitive conditions. Men are stronger, more able to cope, though I must say they all seemed to do well. I found it very unhygienic being among all the creepy crawlies, snakes and things. But again we didn’t have much trouble. It will be nice to go and have a long soak in the bath though.’
‘We saw you on screen there telling the others that you did not realise you were on a television programme that was being shown daily back in the UK. You thought you were going to a conference. Can you tell us how this mix-up happened?’ Rachel asked.
‘I employ a secretary,’ Jem said. ‘Her father asked me to give her a job, she has not yet met a suitable candidate for marriage so needed a job until she found one, and one of her jobs is to open my post and weed out the unimportant letters before she gives the important ones to me. She types replies to all letters, sometimes nearly as fast as I can hand write them. I mentioned it to her once in passing and she said something about having done a course at the local college and having certificates. I ignored that. I mean what use are certificates for that? Certificates can’t run a man’s house smoothly. No wonder she hasn’t found anyone to marry her. Anyway she brought my post one morning and asked me what to do about this letter, she knew I have a standard reply for certain types of letters, conference ones among them. I couldn’t understand why she brought me the letter and just told her not to be so silly and send the usual reply. She did try to say something but I thought she was just being argumentative which as I did not hesitate to tell her is unbecoming in a woman. So she just typed the answer and I found myself here. I did wonder when I saw so many people from the school and no other doctor but Hunter, thought it might be some sort of experiment prior to a conference but I was wrong.’
‘Do you think your secretary was trying to bring your attention to the fact of it’s being a reality TV programme rather than a conference?’ Vikki asked.
‘She may have been I suppose,’ Jem said grudgingly. ‘She’s not a patch on Rosalie my first secretary. Left me before the war, then came back to us and went to the school. Can’t understand that, why work for the school when she could have worked for me? Wouldn’t have had to have all those holidays off either. And have been more likely to meet a husband’
‘What was it like meeting Dr Hunter again after all these years?’ Rachel asked.
‘Rather strange. He worked for us at the San in Tyrol for a while. Quite thought he would have married Jo, but she didn’t like him, said he was smarmy or some such girlish nonsense. I told her to grab him quick and get up the aisle. She would have got married and I wouldn’t have had to pay out for her. Unfortunately Madge took Jo’s side and in the end I had no peace until I gave in and paid for a trip to India for her and Robin hopefully she might have met an army officer and stayed out there but she didn’t she came back single. Dr Hunter left the San soon after Jo went to India, I always had the impression that someone said something to upset him but no one ever said anything to me about what happened. Anyway Jo married Jack Maynard in the end and he has kept her in check ever since though he has indulged her by letting her write silly books but as she has done her duty with a few children then that’s his business.’
‘Did you get on with all the other campers?’ was Vikki’s next question.
‘Well what on earth Robin was doing out of her convent, I don’t know a delicate child like her should be kept in a safe environment. Pam whatever-her-name-is-now shouldn’t have been allowed on. Left the school for another school then has the audacity to come back for a visit and run off with me niece’s intended minutes before the wedding. Not cricket that, left the poor girl devastated. Nice to see some of the others but what they were doing here without their husbands I don’t know. Nell Wilson on leave from the school I suppose, must remind Madge to dock her two weeks wages.’
Jem stopped speaking and looked round as if he wasn’t quite sure of where he was. Rachel and Vikki were looking at each other in amazement. Rachel was making vague gestures to that which she kept hidden under the table so Vikki decided to bring the interview to a rapid conclusion.
‘Well thank you Jem, it has been nice to hear your side of um….. life in the jungle. Only one thing remains to be said ‘You Are A Celebrity Get Yourself Out Of Here.’
As Vikki spoke she gestured towards the walkway to the hotel, giving Jem no choice but to leave the interview platform.
As Jem walked away Vikki turned to the camera and said ‘Well that is the end of our programmes for today. Join us tomorrow for the Grand Finale as we crown our queen of the jungle. Please keep voting for your favourite otherwise she will be voted off.’
Meanwhile, in the control studio Jennie, Pat and Lisa Tee where all frantically pressing buttons, twiddling knobs and doing the one thousand and one things that happened to get a TV programme on air.
‘Lisa,’ hissed Pat. ‘We are eighty five seconds too early for the adverts. What shall we do?’
‘Press the break in transmission button,’ Jennie hissed back. ‘They’ll think it is the gremlins that sometimes plague live transmissions so we’ll be all right.’
The girls did everything right and the programme ended some poor minion back in London fished out and emergency tape for a documentary next week and all those watching at home never noticed that they lost nearly a minute and a half of the programme.
As she closed everything down for the night Jennie was aware of muffled noises coming from a dark corner. Pat heard too and looked at Jennie mouthing ‘What shall we do?’
Jennie picked up a large screwdriver from the desk and advanced into the corner ‘Hello,’ she called in a voice slightly higher than normal due to nervousness. ‘Hello can we help you?’
There was the sound of someone choking then a shaky voice called out of the darkness ‘I’m fine thank you. I should have known better than think that ten days in there would cure him, pompous old so-and so. I will have to think of something else now.’
‘Would you like a drink of water?’ Pat called feeling rather brave now.
‘No thanks I’ll just pop back to the hotel.’ There was the sound of the outer door opening and closing and the person was gone.
‘Wonder who on earth it is?’ queried Pat.
‘I think I may know,’ said Jennie. ‘But I’d better not say anything in case I’m wrong. Hopefully all will be revealed tomorrow night on the final show.’
‘Oh yes only one more day,’ Pat replied sadly. ‘Must try and top my tan up tomorrow before we go home.’
With chatter like this the two girls tidied up, put out the lights, and after leaving the building made sure it was locked.
#553: Author: Nicci, Location: UKPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:19 pm Sue, that was the best post yet! Jem was such an awful pompus arse. Who is it in the corner? Madge?
you had me in hsyterics. thank you.
#554: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:26 pm I thought of Madge too!!!
#555: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/CambridgePosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:28 pm Yippeeeeeeeee! Thank you Sue *still snickering to herself*
#556: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:36 pm Thank you Sue, if it is Madge, there's little wonder that she wanted to send him to the jungle for 10 days, not that he seems to have learned anything from the experience.
#557: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:53 pm Sue! that's brilliant!! Any chance of more???
#558: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:10 pm Great as usual Sue.
Looking forward to the final.
#559: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:14 pm Thank you Sue
Sadly the experience doesn't seem to have cured Jem (yet I hope )
I thought it was Madge too
#560: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:28 pm Thanks for the latest post Sue!
*Think only armour piercing bullets will get through Jem's head!*
#561: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 11:20 pm Thank you for yuor lovely comments. Will start writing final soon. It is the one scene I have plenty of ideas for! Should be some by weekend.
#562: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:22 pm Wow, just caught up on the last couple of weeks of this Sue and it's brilliant as ever! Can't wait for the final. *g*
#563: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 1:07 pm Thinks it's time to bump this back to page 1!!
#564: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 4:17 pm I think that Jem should have been left in the Jungle by himself. Why didn't someone tell him to go down a different path so he got lost for ever?
#565: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 2:39 pm shunting this back to page 1 again.
#566: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:51 pm And again!
Hint hint Sue!!!!
#567: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:09 pm don't think she can take hints very well vikki!!!
#568: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:55 pm I know....
*looks sad!*
#569: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:57 pm I think it's cos we keep talking to her on msn when she should be writing!
#570: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:59 pm that could be right Carolyn
#571: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 10:00 pm Well you know the answer and much as we'd hate to lose you....
#572: Author: Nicci, Location: UKPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2004 7:23 am Still no more?
#573: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West YorksPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2004 10:32 pm Just read this right from the beginning & it's brilliant
BUT it's time for more MORE MOREMORE
please Susan
#574: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/BristolPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 10:47 am Have caught up on this and it's so funny!
Can we still vote for the final?
#575: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 3:37 pm Sorry for the delay RL and other issues. To make sure this is not rushed I will post more shorter episodes.
With many thanks to Carolyn who took time out to help me with some of this.
The Final Episode Part 1
‘Good evening viewers and welcome to the very last programme in this series of ‘I’m a Chalet Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.’ Vikki announced.
‘Yes,’ said Rachel. ‘We have a very action packed and especially extended programme for you this evening. We are down to our final three contestants and by the end of tonight’s programme we will have crowned our Jungle Chalet Queen.’
‘Due to this being the last programme,’ said Vikki. ‘It will be slightly different than normal. The lines are open for this first hour of the programme for Jo, Pam and Nell so you can start voting for them now. At the end of the first hour we will go into the camp and announce who is third. They will come to the interview studio here for a short interview. During this part of the programme the lines for the other two will stay open so you may continue to vote for your favourite. The lines will close at approximately 10:00pm British time. Shortly after that we will go back into the camp and announce who has won. The runner-up will be invited in their turn for a short interview and then the jungle queen will be crowned and will be here to give us their impressions of jungle life.’
‘So stay tuned,’ said Rachel. ‘Tonight’s programme has a little bit of everything, more jungle bugs, more mud and well……….. let’s go and have a look shall we?’ As she finished speaking Rachel turned to the screen.
The screen opened up onto the camp. A wet camp it was too, as the rain teemed down dripping from the trees and on to the three sorry looking contestants sitting huddled under waterproofs. They had tried to protect the fire by building a cover of larger branches over it but is still sizzled and spat as some of the rain fell into it.
‘Jo we are Guides remember,’ came Nell Wilson’s voice ‘We can put up with a little hardship and it is the last day. Whatever they ask of us we will do. We will treat this as a test. However I don’t think the rain will last much longer the sky is definitely brightening up.’ As she finished speaking Nell leaned out from underneath her waterproof sheet and looked up at the sky. Her two listeners copied her actions and despite being rewarded by great drops of rain down their necks were forced to agree that the sky was slightly less dark than it had been.
‘Tell us Pam, what was the school like that you went to after leaving the Chalet School. Was it a girls school or mixed and did they have any of the adventures that the Chalet girls are famous for?’ Nell queried of the lonely figure sitting alone on the bed at the opposite side of the fire.
‘Oh but Nell,’ Jo said as if Nell had not spoken. ‘Do you not remember the look on Corney Flowers face when we all went into hysterical giggles at her performance on the saxophone?’
‘Jo, we have talked about these stories since the day they happened. It’s time now to talk of other things and we are being dreadfully rude to Pam by cutting her out of the conversation like this. Anyway she too has heard them all before. I would like to hear some stories of what has happened to her since she left us.’ As she ended her sentence Nell got up and moved to join the Pam, totally ignoring Jo’s comment of ‘Husband stealer.’ As she did so.
‘No the pupils did not have so many adventures,’ Pam began. Only to be shouted down as Jo yelled across the camp fire
‘Of course there are tales even you have only heard about. I am the only one who has been there for all off them. I can remember when……….’
Nell stood up again and Jo’s face lightened and she moved up the bed to make more room for Nell.
‘That’s right,’ said gleefully. ‘Come back here and we’ll have a real gabfest about the old days. The Chalet School the most important topic of conversation in the world. Apart from my daughters of course.’
‘No Jo,’ said Nell in a very hard voice. ‘There are more things to talk about in this world than the Chalet School. You are being very rude to Pam and I am sure if she were less good mannered she would have told you what she thinks of your behaviour. She and I are going for a walk, we cannot possibly get any wetter and you may stay here by yourself in camp and ponder your behaviour. Come Pam.’ The two women swept out of the camp in the direction of the Bush Telegraph leaving a stunned looking Jo very much alone.
The camera stayed on the lone figure in the camp for a while. She wriggled about on the bed, tried to write her notes but it was too damp for that. In the end she was reduced to practising her singing which had all the sound engineers turning down the sounds from the microphones before they were accused if causing permanent damage to people’s hearing all over the world.
Eventually the rain stopped and Nell and Pam came back into the camp, just in time to hear ‘The Voice’ announce the jobs for the day. One person had to remain in camp at all times unless specifically told different. As Jo had already spent an hour alone ‘The Voice’ indicated that Jo and Pam should go and do the final Treasure Trail.
As the ‘The Voice’ finished speaking and the cameras were showing the stunned faces of Pam and Jo the scene changed back to the studio.
‘Well that is the end of part one,’ said Vikki. ‘Please join us after the break for the next part of the final.’
#576: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 3:42 pm Oooooooooh, shiny and new, thanks Sue! Yay, go Nell! Can't wait for the next bit.
Joey, HARD.
#577: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 3:57 pm Yay, thank you Sue, I can't wait for the last few parts!!!!!!
Good on Nell, she's so thoughful of everyone.
#578: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West YorksPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:00 pm Ohhhh thankyou Susan - mega good!
Sorry about RL RL for you and hope it gives up being a pest!
#579: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:14 pm *huggles Sue!!*
Thank you very much sweetie!
#580: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/LeicesterPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:19 pm Thanks for the new bit Sue!
Joey is being very... well very Joey isn't she. Silly woman!
#581: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 4:57 pm I love Nell, and I am so looking forward to the NEXT episode.....*Smug grin*
Hope you have written it now, and hope at least one of them survives alive!!!!!!!
#582: Author: Guest, Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 5:04 pm Thanks Susan, am glad Nell is sticking up for Pam!
#583: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/BristolPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 5:04 pm That was me
#584: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 6:49 pm I'm glad Nell is sticking up for Pam and putting Jo in her place a bit. Can't wait for more Sue!
#585: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 6:55 pm A shiny new installment that has Nell trampling over Jo. How does the word sublime sound?
(Love the bit about the sound engineers having to switch off the mikes when Jo sings!)
Looking forward to more soon,Sue!!!
#587: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 7:07 pm wow - thank you Sue, I love Nell in this episode, about time someone put her straight on a few things, and Nell is just the woman to do it.
#588: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern USPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 2:01 am Thanks Sue!
*applauds Nell*
*fears Joey has forgotten guide law *
#590: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.IrelandPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:16 pm Sue, I just caught up with this again. I'm sorry I missed the final voting - I know who I don't want to win!!!
*brings sleeping bag to camp out for the rest of the drabble*
#591: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:18 pm Mandy PM your vote for a winner to Sue, the last three have been done by PM so that we don't see.
#592: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Fri Apr 23, 2004 9:06 pm Sorry for the delay.
Part Two.
The pair set off keeping as far apart from each other as it is possible to do so on a narrow forest trail. Jo was leading the way. Some of the path was quite dry as the large canopies of the trees had stopped the rain reaching ground level but in other parts it was very sticky and muddy. Eventually the clues lead them alongside a stream and Jo making a longer leg than usual to try and avoid a very muddy patch lost her footing and slid down the bank to land with a splash in the stream that was deeper than usual due to the rain.
Pam nobly trying to stifle her giggles tried to find a way down the bank that would not result in her doing the same thing. Slowly she inched her way down, Jo meanwhile was floundering in the water churning the bank into a very large mud bath. Pam managed to get to the bottom and found a large flat boulder to stand on so that she could stretch a hand to the other woman.
‘Here Jo, grab my hand,’ Pam shouted as she leant out perilously over the stream. Seeing nothing else for it Jo caught the proffered hand and used it to help herself out of the water and soon both women were standing at the top of the bank again both puffing from their exertions and Jo dripping wet from head to foot.
‘Must be a bit like that story you were just telling, about how you jumped from the mountain path across the proper path and into the lake, in the early days of the school except we have no boiling hot baths for you to pop into,’ said Pam unsuccessfully trying to hide a grin. ‘We’d better go back to camp and you can get a change of clothes.’
‘Who gave you leave to comment on the early days of the school?’ Jo yelled making a lunge for Pam. ‘You gave up any right to say anything about the school the day you left to go to another. And as for stealing my daughters husband, you rubber necked four-flushing home wrecker you……’
Pam stood rooted to the spot for a moment and then took a step or two backwards. Jo in her rush to grab at Pam lost her footing and again slid all the way down into the stream. Pam waited a few moments before going to her aid, then realising that this time Jo had gone headfirst she slipped and slithered her way down to the stream again.
‘Jo! Jo!’ Pam shouted to no avail as she trudged along the very muddy waters edge. ‘Jo.’ She called again and this time had her reward as a little way downstream the water suddenly boiled and Jo stood up. Pam rushed as fast as she could through the glutinous mud to try and help the other woman to the bank. For a second time Jo grabbed Pam’s hand and heaved herself on to the bank. For the second time in a few minutes the two women stared at each other both gasping for breath.
This time when she could speak Pam merely looked at Jo and said ‘Let’s head back to camp, you need to get dried out.’
Pam turned and began to make her way back up the path. Jo stared after her for a second and then said ‘I haven’t finished with you yet. You think you can abandon the school, steal my daughters’ husband, then come here and wreck the nice time I was having with my old school friends. Just who do you think you are?’
Wisely realising that silence was the best reply to this tirade, Pam continued to walk away.
Jo lunged again and brought Pam to the ground in a rugby tackle worthy of one of her sons. Pam got such a shock she lay there in the mud for a moment and Jo taking advantage of this picked up great handfuls of the mud and plastered it over as much of Pam as she could reach. Recovering her breath Pam struggled to a sitting position and tried to grab Jo’s arm to stop her. Unfortunately she missed the arm and grabbed one of Jo’s great earphones of hair and gave it a long hard pull. This had one good effect, it stopped Jo in her tracks. Which gave Pam a second or two to get out of the way. Jo was after her in a second and again pulled Pam down into the mud. Realising what was happening this time Pam struggled and lashed out with her feet, catching Jo on the shin with a swift kick from her left foot. Jo retaliated by grabbing Pam by the hair and pulling with all the strength she could muster, Pam grabbed one of the plaits that had unrolled itself from Jo’s maltreated earphone and returned Jo’s tugs with interest, using her other hand Pam tried to find a piece of solid ground to try and help herself up but he combination of fighting women and flooded stream had made this impossible. With a Herculean effort Pam pushed off and stumbled to her feet but instead of trying to climb the bank to safety she turned to face her foe. Again Jo moved towards Pam, at the last possible moment Pam moved and Jo again fell into the stream. Jo struggled to stand up in the heaving water and made her unsteady way back to the bank put instead of getting out she reached for Pam’s ankle that was unfortunately just in her reach. One big heave and Pam toppled into the water beside Jo. Jo being more prepared was on Pam and trying to hold her under the water. Pam gave a great heave, pushed the other woman off and slowly pulled herself out on to the bank. Jo did the same slightly further up stream and threw herself at Pam again.
Meanwhile: back in the studio Jennie was looking aghast at the screen showing the two wet, mud splattered women.
‘What on earth are we going to do?’ she said to Lisa in a very shocked voice.
‘I don’t know,’ Lisa quavered. ‘But we need to do something, very quickly.’
There was a whisper behind them ‘Send Nell after them she will sort them out.’
‘Who are you?’ Jennie asked
‘Not now,’ said the voice, the owner keeping well into the shadows. ‘Get Nell to go she’ll stop the nonsense.’
‘We will give it a try.’ Lisa said.
There was a hurried conversation between Jennie, Lisa and the produscer.
The scene on the screens suddenly changed from the two women rolling back into the stream to Nell sitting alone by the fireside.
‘Nell,’ The Voice called. ‘We have a problem. Could you go up the path to the stream, please.’
Nell jumped up. ‘Of course I will but am I to know what the problem is?’
The Voice did not respond to this so Nell set off up the trail as fast as she dare, realising that a sprained ankle on her part would not help matters.
As Nell was not following the clues that Jo and Pam had she was able to go the direct route and was at the stream in a few minutes. Greatly wondering as to the problem she burst through the trees and came to a sudden stop on the bank of the stream. Whatever she had expected it was not to see Jo and Pam standing knee deep in the raging stream squaring up to each other.
‘Josephine Mary Maynard! Pamela Slater-Entwhistle! Come out of there this instant.’
No pupil or mistress from the Chalet School had ever been able to ignore that tone from Nell so both women sheepishly made their way to the side of the stream and climbed out onto the bank. They both stood there gasping for breath and glaring at each other.
‘Back to camp now!’ the words dropped icily from Nell’s lips as she set off back down the path.
‘Nell I..,’ began Jo.
‘Be silent Josephine. We will discuss this back at camp.’
When they had arrived at camp Nell said ‘I think you two had better clean up and get into some dry clothes then we will talk about this.
As the two women looked in their bags for clean clothes the picture changed back to the studio.’
‘Goodness me,’ breathed Vikki. ‘I was not expecting that.’
‘Good time to have a break,’ said Rachel. ‘Please rejoin us after the adverts. When we will see how Nell deals with what has happened and at the end of the next part we will announce who is in third place.’
The signature tune played.
#593: Author: Ellie, Location: LincolnshirePosted: Fri Apr 23, 2004 9:15 pm Wow, well worth waiting for. But whoever thought Joey would become a mud wrestler?
Great episode Sue.
#595: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2004 9:24 pm Sue, that was brilliant.
Way to Go Nell,
they both deserve it, but Joey ought to be locked up, it really sounded as if she meant to drown Pam!
#596: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.IrelandPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2004 10:25 pm I thought that too, but I loved the way Nell brought them back to camp.
#597: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2004 11:51 pm Yay! Nice to see this back Sue! Oooooooooooh, *eagerly awaiting the rest*
#598: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern USPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 2:04 am Loved the reaction to Nell in full name mode
Shocked at Joey
Amazed that Pam pulled her out twice
Thanks, Sue!
#599: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 7:14 am Fantastic episode Sue!!! Well worth waiting for. Love Nell , thought she was great at getting the other two to stop fighting.
Kathy - agree with you - had I been Pam I'd not have pulled Joey out the first time, let alone twice!
Carolyn - And it did look as though Joey had gone over the edge and tried to kill Pam.
Looking forward to how Nell deals with it.
*Think the mysterious voice is Hilda.*
#600: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/BristolPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 7:37 am Wow great stuff Sue!
Can Joey get accused of attempted murder?
#601: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 12:09 pm Glad that Pam was standing up to Jo. Why on earth has Jo kept that old resentment. We know that Len was better off without Reg. Who wouldn't be?
#602: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 3:24 pm Sue, that was marvellous!
*looking forward to the end of the commercial break!*
#603: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 3:26 pm It's a very long commercial break!
#604: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 3:53 pm That's what I was thinking.....
#605: Author: Pat, Location: DoncasterPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 7:08 pm How you all think Sue could post from the Trafford Centre beats me!!!!
#606: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 7:38 pm And I bet she is only just home, so wouldn't look for more tonight.
#607: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 6:43 pm Dear Auntie Pat, we all expect miracles from the drabble writers, you ought to know that!
#608: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, KentPosted: Tue May 11, 2004 2:28 pm Just bumping this to the top to ask Sue to please, please, please, please, please write the final bits!!!!
#609: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 6:02 pm Well done Lesley!!!!
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Auntie Susie.......
#610: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West YorksPosted: Wed May 12, 2004 11:58 pm Joins in chant and starts to bang the drum kit completely not in time
Threatens to add a saxophone to the discordant cacophany if we don't get more
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
#611: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 3:19 am *wanders around looking helpless wondering where the rest is*
#612: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Thu May 13, 2004 2:46 pm Joins Pim in looking, finds her and gives her a flask of hot coffee and a packet of Tim-Tams.
#613: Author: lizzieb, Location: Ireland/FrancePosted: Thu May 13, 2004 5:44 pm can i join the hunt?! i really got into this when i was "studying" for my IMC exam yesterday - it was a very funny diversion! i got a few strange looks in the uni library as a result of my giggles!
#614: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 8:26 pm Well I know Sue was writing cos she said so!!!
#615: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/BristolPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:01 pm I hope they're alright... they've been the jungle for quite a while, I bet they stink!
Please tell us who the winner is Sue!
#616: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:09 pm *Smug* I know who the winner and who the mysterious person is...but am desparate to know who came second and what happened after the fight!
#617: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:15 pm * s Carolyn for being so smug!!!!!*
#618: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, EnglandPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:17 pm Happily ignores Vikki due to poke proof underwear!
#619: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:18 pm But that wasn't where I was poking you Carolyn, my pet..........
#620: Author: Jennie, Location: CambridgeshirePosted: Fri May 14, 2004 2:23 pm I want to know the identity of the mystery man. Please hurry up and tell me, Susan.
#621: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West YorksPosted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:43 pm Sighs and fetches out the saxophone - wonders which end to blow in and makes a horrendous NOISE
watches everyone run for cover and hopes that they appreciate it's in a good cause
apologises to the neighbours and explains that it had to be heard in Carlisle
eta - no wonder I'm *somehow making an enemy*
#622: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Mon May 17, 2004 9:57 am Oh sorry did you think there was more story?
Well there will be soon. I have it all in my head it is just a matter of finding time to write it down.
I have had a lot of little things going on in RL that have all added up to taking up a lot of my time. One of the biggest was sorted out over the weekend so hopefully I will now have more time for me and the things I want to do.
#623: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 10:37 am SUE!!!!!
You little tease!!!
Seriously though, I'm glad you're starting to get the better of RL!!!
#624: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West YorksPosted: Mon May 17, 2004 11:47 am Sorry Susan - did you think we were nagging?
Well of course we were, but with love too, and if RL is being a pain we understand
#625: Author: Susan, Location: CarlislePosted: Tue May 18, 2004 7:27 pm Dedicated to Pat because I promised, Lesley for her gentle nagging and Carolyn, who knows why!.
‘Welcome back,’ said Vikki as the next part of the programme began.
‘A very interesting part of the programme,’ Rachel added. ‘Shame Nell intervened really but I suppose we couldn’t have the contestants actually killing each other.’
‘No we couldn’t,’ Vikki responded. With what sounded suspiciously like a giggle. ‘Let’s go into the camp now and see how Nell is going to deal with this and at the end of this part we will be going into camp to tell them who is third.’
The scene changed from the studio to the camp.
Nell was busy about the fire making hot drinks. Jo was just coming through the bushes at the entrance to the camp obviously having had a wash and clean clothes.
Pam arrived a couple of seconds later also looking very clean and tidy.
Jo sat down on her bed and Pam moved to to sit on her which was as far from Jo’s as was possible. Nell stopped them both.
‘No, come and sit here side by side. I want this sorted out now. I think both of you have forgotten that though we may be in the jungle we are being filmed and the ensuing programme beamed into millions of homes. What sort of advertisement do you think you are for yourselves, your families and the school?’
Neither of the two replied. Nell handed them both a drink and pulled across a bed so she was sitting facing them.
‘Right Pam you may begin the explanation.’ Nell said.
Pam swallowed a mouthful of her drink and then looking at the ground began to tell Nell what had occurred by the stream. Pam’s account was very graphic and when she had finished there was a short silence. Then Nell turned to Jo.
‘Why?’ Nell uttered.
Jo looked at the ground then straight at Nell.
‘She stole my daughters husband.’ Jo announced in stentorian tones.
‘Jo that was years ago. Don’t tell me you have been harbouring a grudge all this time. How utterly childish.’ Nell’s tone was very hard.
Jo flushed dark red then said, ‘My poor baby, she had known Reg since she was three. It had been her hearts desire all her life to marry a doctor, settle at the Platz have loads of babies and be a good gentle wife and mother like her Mamma. Then along came this…. this harpy and her dreams are shattered. My poor, poor baby her life is over before it began.’ Jo face took on a very tragic look as she finished speaking.
Pam took a deep breath to begin her reply but Nell forestalled her.
‘Jo Maynard!’ She exclaimed. ‘That is just ridiculous. Len never thought that way about Reg until you put the idea into her head. You never listened to her, never took her ideas or dreams into account. To live the life you outlined for Len would be a waste. She may marry and have children later on but she needs to explore, use her degree and her talents.’
As Nell finished speaking Jo, whose face had been getting redder and redder during Nell’s speech burst out with. ‘How dare you speak to me like that? What do you know about anything? You’ve never had children. You don’t know what it’s like to plan for them and then see their hopes and dreams shatter.’
Jo finally paused for breath and motioning Pam to keep quiet, Nell moved over to stand beside Jo. Reaching out a hand to touch the younger woman’s forehead she said ‘Jo I think you must have been in the jungle too long. It is beginning to affect you. I think we need to get a doctor to give you a dose.’
Jo stood up abruptly shaking off the other woman’s hand.
‘I don’t need a dose, all my life I have been given doses, Jem, Matey, Jack all of them! Anytime I wanted to say or do something they didn’t want me to I’ve been dosed. Now you! I don’t want a dose! All I want is vengance for my daughter!’ Jo’s voice rose hysterically through this speech.
As Jo moved towards Pam who was sitting huddled on her bed looking very scared Nell moved to stand between the two women.
‘Josephine Mary Bettany Maynard! Sit down this instant and stop behaving like a complete hysteric.’ Nell sounded as though she was addressing the worst imp of Lower 1Va.
Jo was so conditioned to obeying Nell in this mode that without a word she moved to her bed and sat down. Nell moved to stand in front of her.
‘Jo listen to me.’ Nell’s tone still had a stern inflection but was a lot softer. ‘Len is your daughter not your possession! You can try and guide her, give her good examples for her life but you cannot live it for her. She does not have to be a carbon copy of you or anyone else. No one should expect that of their children. Be thankful that Len wants to make something good of her life, Let her have her chance. Reg was not the right person for Len and she was not the one for him either. If you had forced them to marry they would have been miserable. Any children they had would probably have been miserable too. Luckily both Len and Reg realised before it was too late, and did something about it. Len had already left Freudesheim that day before Reg left the Platz. Daisy came to you with Len’s side before anyone knew about Reg but you chose not to listen and have made yourself and other people very unhappy in the process.’
Jo lifted a tear strained face to Nell. ‘But Len hardly comes home now; and if she does come she spends most of her time at the school and that’s all down to what Reg did to her’
‘No Jo,’ Nell continued, still in that stern but soft tone. ‘That was you. You went on at the poor girl so much that you made her unhappy. You were making the whole family upset by constantly going over and over what happened and Len chose to stay away as she felt it would be better for her brothers and sisters if they didn’t have to listen to all this constantly. Len also chose to spend more time at school so that she could tell Hilda and I about her life at university. She needed to talk to someone about it and you wouldn’t listen and you kept interrupting when she spoke to Jack. Oh Jo, you are so lucky that Len cares for her family or you could so easily have driven her away. It’s not Pam’s fault she ended up with Reg. Their meeting on the Platz that day was an accident and as Reg had nowhere to stay when he reached England Pam took him in. What happened after that is as they say history.’
‘You mean she hadn’t been seeing Reg behind Len’s back?’ Jo asked with a toss of her head in Pam’s direction.
‘That was just a figment of your imagination Jo, you have got yourself in such a state that you no longer seem to know the difference between fact or fiction. How could Pam and Reg see each other behind Len’s back when she was in England and he on the Platz?’
‘Bbbutt…. she let me plan the wedding.’ Jo stuttered.
‘No she didn’t You steamrollered her into accepting your plans and ideas. As if Len really wanted all her sisters, female cousins, adopted members of the family and Frieda Simone and Marie’s daughters all for bridesmaids. Plus as many old girls as yo could contact for guests – I’m glad Jack sat on that idea. Honestly Jo what happened to your brains? If she had loved Reg I would not have been surprised if she had eloped with him to the Caribbean and married him there. Next time Len expresses an interest in anyone leave them alone to do things by themselves and if they come for advice give it but if they don’t take it make sure you don’t try to force it on them. Also, if they want to live on the Platz, fine but if they want to live in Timbuctoo then that should be fine too. Now I think you should apologise to Pam and hope that the editors have edited this bit out of the programme. As I am sure you don’t want your behaviour seen by thousands round the world.’
Nell stood back leaving Jo looking at Pam.
‘Sorry.’ Jo muttered.
‘You’ll have to do better than that,’ responded Nell.
‘I’m sorry for being so horrible to you. Now I have had my shortcomings pointed out to me I will do better. But I honestly thought they were meant for each other.’
‘I accept your apology,’ said Pam graciously. ‘So did they when they were younger but I think they were both in love with the idea of being in love and it took them a long while to get out of it.’
At this point in the discussion the cameras cut back to Vikki and Rachel in the studio.
It was obvious that both women were having difficulty in tearing themselves away from the screen to face the camera.
‘Er yes well,’ Vikki struggled to speak.
‘Gosh,’ said Rachel ‘It’s time for us to go and announce who has come third. Oh well you have all been voting in your millions and you have about ten more minutes before we arrive in camp to cast your vote.’
The cameras followed Vikki and Rachel down the walkways to the camp. About halfway there they paused and said ‘That’s it lines are closed for now, no more voting.’ Then they carried on and finally came into camp.
Jo had managed to wash her face and the two presenters were astounded to see all three women sitting on the same bed in a huddle each one waiting to hear her fate.
‘You have had an interesting day,’ Vikki said trying to hide a grin.
‘We are here to tell you who is third,’ Rachel intoned.. ‘The British public have been voting in their thousands. Nell it is not you.’
‘So,’ said Vikki butting in. ‘That leaves you two Pam and Jo.’
‘Yes,’ said Rachel dragging out the moment for as long as she dared. ‘Which of you is it? ‘It is ……………………………………………………………………… Jo. You have two minutes for your goodbyes then come up to the studio for interview.’
‘We will be back in about half an hour to crown one of you ‘Queen of the Jungle.’ Vikki added. Then she turned to the camera join us after the adverts to see Jo’s interview then we will have the crowning.’
The signature tune played.
#626: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 7:31 pm Ooooh!!!
Bet Jo's not too happy!
#627: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 7:38 pm