The CBB :: View topic - I'm a Chaletian...get me out of here!

I'm a Chaletian...get me out of here!

The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles

Who goes OUT next?

Jem

44%

[ 17 ]

Joey

23%

[ 9 ]

Nell

[ 3 ]

Pam

23%

[ 9 ]

Total Votes : 38

#1: I'm a Chaletian...get me out of here! Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 9:47 pm

"Is that Mrs Josephine Maynard? ITV studios here."
"Joey! The studios want you again!"
Joey Maynard stuck her head out from behind her study door and smirked at her husband. "Do they really? How nice," she cooed, and came along to take the reciever from Jack.
"Joey Maynard here. I believe you wished to speak to me?"
"Ahem. This is Jennie from the CBB-ITV project. We wondered if you'd be interested in taking part in a new reality TV show?"
Joey started. "So you don't want me to talk about my work?" she queried, sounding surprised.
On the other end, Jennie grinned, very widely and nastily. All the members of the CBB knew of her loathing for Joey Maynard, but she was sure none of them had realised what her latest plot was. So she said smoothly, "Not just at present, Mrs Maynard, but perhaps something can be arranged. In the meantime, would you be willing to join ten other Chaletians for our reality show?"
Joey beamed, and her pleasure was evident in her voice. "So it's just for Chaletians? How nice. I'm the School's oldest Old Girl, you know, so it's appropriate that you should ask. Yes, Jennie, I'd be delighted to participate."
"How wonderful!" responded Jennie warmly, dancing a little jig. "We'll send you some information shortly. Thank you for your time, Mrs Maynard!"
"My pleasure, my pleasue. Oh, before I forget, what will the show be called?"
"How silly of me! It's 'I'm a Chaletian, get me out of here!'. Goodbye!" and Jennie hung up softly, leaving an aghast Joey to stare at her reciever...

(I REFUSE to carry this alone. If you like, help, please!)

#2: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 9:59 pm

Wohoo!! I can see this providing many hours of entertainment lisa! Laughing

*scuttles off to think*

#3: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 10:41 pm

Yay!! Inspired Lisa!! Now we need to come up with ten other victims.......

#4: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:35 am

*nasty grin* Well, that depends on how evil you feel. My suggestions:

Matey
Mary-Lou
Matron Webb
Miss Bubb
the 'fluffy little idiot' from New House

Any other suggestions? Laughing

#5: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:36 am

My suggestions would include:
Mary-Lou
Peggy Bettany
Wanda Van E(can't spell at this time of night, Maries sister)
Jack Lambert
Anne Seymore
Corney Flower

#6: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:52 am

*g* What've Jack and Corney done to annoy you, Carolyn?

#7: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:53 am

Lisa_T wrote:

*g* What've Jack and Corney done to annoy you, Carolyn?

Nothing, I rather like them,but I thought they would stir things up nicely.

#8: Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:15 am

What's Anne Seymour done, except for fall over a cliff?

#9: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 2:17 am

Kathryn wrote:

What's Anne Seymour done, except for fall over a cliff?

She and Joey seem to get on each other's nerves - they'd be great on a show together.

#10: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 10:30 am

Stardom at last. Thank you, Lisa. How did you know that I had a famous evil grin?

#11: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:05 am

So is someone going to carry this on?

#12: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:44 pm

Yes - this is brilliant!

How about adding Miss Stephens and Miss Bertram?

Great concept, Lisa!

Cone on Jennie - surely you've got some ideas for the next post! Wink

#13: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 3:35 pm

If Wanda really is the most beautiful girl the school has produced, she needs to be in it to give the men something to look at. Miss Bubb certainly, I've never really liked Jack Lambert so have her in, Mary-Lou and Len to organise everyone and interfere in their problems, Betty or Thekla or Diana Skelton as the bad girl, and then some others. Very Happy

#14: Author: Peggy, Location: London

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 4:29 pm

How about Joan Baker, to be vulgar and annoy everyone?
Is the definition of Chaletian to include staff and spouses/doctors/hangers-on? If so:
Anna or Frau Mieders, to do the cooking...
A few doctors/husbands/sons/brothers to provide romantic conflict/eye candy?!

#15: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 5:24 pm

Well., if we wanted to be *reall* evil we could include Hilda. Get Lesley onto it. Can you imagine what she'd do??!!!!

Uh. on second thoughts maybe not...

Twisted Evil

#16: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 5:35 pm

Rachael, now is the time to admit that I am a dinosaur. I don't have a television, and I've never seen one of these reality shows, so I really don't know what to add to it.

#17: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 6:03 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

Well., if we wanted to be *reall* evil we could include Hilda. Get Lesley onto it. Can you imagine what she'd do??!!!!

Uh. on second thoughts maybe not...

Twisted Evil

Why thank you Lisa - I'm flattered! devil

#18: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 6:51 pm

So happy you're happy! Wink

#19: Author: Emma, Location: Lichfield

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:15 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

Well., if we wanted to be *reall* evil we could include Hilda. Get Lesley onto it. Can you imagine what she'd do??!!!!

Uh. on second thoughts maybe not...

Twisted Evil

Please not Hilda!! I couldn't imagine Hilda having to do what Jennie Bond did the other night, fair play to her for lying underground with those rats!!

#20: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:20 pm

I have to admit that I'm not greatly enamoured of the idea either, but I had a funny feeling that it would appeal to Lesley and/or the Rachel-Carolyn duo. Laughing

#21: Author: Emma, Location: Lichfield

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:29 pm

*lol* We'll have to wait and see what happens with this drabble!!

#22: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:34 pm

What about Pam Slater? She was never that enamoured of the School and there could be a few fireworks there! Grizel and Deira, Yseult Pertwee, Betty Wynne-Davies, Thekla von Stift, Prudence Dawbarn, Francie Wilford and Emerence Hope - just to add a bit of interest to it!

#23: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:36 pm

Everybody seems to have forgotten the obvious addition!! Dr Hunter!!! After all, she went to India to escape him, didn't she? Twisted Evil

#24: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:54 pm

Pam Slater's a good idea. You'd need to put her in with Biddy O'Ryan, though. Those two always seem to clash.

#25: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 2:15 am

Mary-Lou Trelawney was sitting at the breakfast table eating toast and black cherry jam thinking it was about time she invited herself to stay with Jo Maynard again to top up her supplies of the jam when the phone rang. With an inward groan she rose to answer it.

'Mary-Lou Trelawney,' she intoned.

'Good morning Miss Trelawney,' said the voice at the other end. 'It's Lisa Tee here, PA to Jennie Carlton-Benedict-Burgess from ITV. We spoke the other day about our latest Reality Project. '
'Yes. I remember,' said Mary-Lou.
'I was wondering if you had decided if you are able to join the programme Miss Trelawney,' Lisa said whilst making faces at her colleague across the office.
'Two weeks you said didn't you,' Mary-Lou queried.
'That's right, two weeks, starting on the (insert appropriate date) February,' replied Lisa.
'Then yes I am available. Can you tell me who the other participants are?'
Mary-Lou wondered.
'I am glad that you are able to particiapte, said Lisa. 'I am sorry I am unable to inform you of the other nine contestants. You will find that out when you arrive at the destination. We will send you some details in the
post. See you soon.'

Mary-Lou put the phone down and returned to her lukewarm coffee and cold toast.

Meanwhile at the office of the television company Lisa Tee put tthe phone down with a whoop. 'Yes! Oh yes we got her. Mary-Lou is going to the jungle.'

Pat, her colleague from across the office said 'Well done Lisa, that's fantastic news. Who else do we still have to get to say yes?'

#26: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 10:47 am

"We have still got problems contacting Professor Hunter. He seems very elusive - not even his hospital knows when he'll be in. Come to think of it, it might be easier to find him if we contact one of the gossip columnists - they write about his affairs with various women ona regular basis."

"He married for money, of course, but it didn't last. Still, he got a good settlement, didn't he? Yes, you're right about trying a gossip columnist. We simply must have the man. Jo hated him."

#27: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 11:09 am

This is great even though i have not idea about the show "I'm a celebraity..."

#28: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 12:48 pm

*aaaggh!* Someone;s calling me Lisa Tee. That's even worse than Lisa_T!!! Wink

Chloe, I'm sure they've a website and what they did to Jennie Bond was in the newspapers yesterday. To summarise: a coffin, water, and rats. For ten minutes. Not nice!
Would you like to help with the torturing or be a contestant? Twisted Evil

#29: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 2:53 pm

A plastic coffin! What did they say about her?

I vote: May-Lou, Joey, The random hunter guy (who i have never heard of), Len, Hilda, Jem, Reg, Thekla, Robin and (struggling to think of people here) Gaudenz?! Ooh, or Matey.

#30: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 2:57 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

Chloe, I'm sure they've a website and what they did to Jennie Bond was in the newspapers yesterday. To summarise: a coffin, water, and rats. For ten minutes. Not nice!

Oh no not very nice at all, i didn't read the paper yesterday and i'm not really big on reality tv shows anyway!

#31: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 3:43 pm

I only caught it by accident and it was mu shock as much as anything that kept me glued to the rest of it!!!! Laughing

#32: Author: Alex, Location: Manchester

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:57 pm

Anne was filing her nails when the phone rang and the housekeeper answered it in her precise fashion, "Seymour residence." There was a pause. "One moment please."

"Madam, it's the television people for you again."

"How tiresome," sighed Anne. "I don't understand why their people can't call my people, but I suppose they are paying a hefty fee, and the public do want to see me after all. Could you bring me some tea, please." She picked up the phone. "Anne Seymour speaking."

#33: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 7:32 pm

Lisa highlighted some of the names on her list,
Joey,
Mary-Lou
Professor Hunter,
Anne Seymour,

She looked with some satisfaction and gave a "Whoopee!" as Pat came into the office and said, "That was Max Clifford on the phone, we have Pamela Slater-Entwistle and wait for it, Sister Robin, the ex-nun,"
"That will put some spice into the whole thing, can you see what will happen when Joey has to spen any time at all with the ex staff member who married her daughter's fiancee on the day planned for the wedding, in the same church, and as for Sister Robin, is there nothing that woman won't do"
The pair strolled into Jennie's office, barely containing their glee and on hearing their news she began to plan immediatly for the best way to catch all the initial reactions when the contestants met for the first time.
"But don't forget, this will all come to nothing unless we get a full complement of contestants," she warned as Lisa and Pat returned to their phones to trace the last contestants.

#34: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 8:22 pm

But Pam Slater must be so much older than Reg. Razz

#35: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 8:55 pm

Sarah_L wrote:

But Pam Slater must be so much older than Reg. Razz

Yes, scandel!!! But if she is a similar age to Joey I would have thought there would be a similar age gap between her and Reg as Reg and Len.

What is the prize they are playing for, the headship??

#36: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 8:59 pm

Uh, let's see. In changes, Pam was 35. We meet Reg for the first time when he is 14 and Len is uh..4, isn't it? By changes, the triplets are *my brain hurts* 10? which means Pam is about 25 years older than the triplets. If Reg is 10 years older than the Trips, that makes him 15 years younger?! that doesn't make sense, or does it?!!
To conclude, the trips are c.10, Reg, c.20, Pam 35.
What did i put myself through that for???!!!!

#37: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 9:06 pm

So Pam and Reg is no better or worse than Len and Reg.

Who is going to do the next bit?

#38: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 9:25 pm

this is great!

#39: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 9:56 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

To conclude, the trips are c.10, Reg, c.20, Pam 35.
What did i put myself through that for???!!!!

One of our esteemed Doctors as a toyboy? Shocked

#40: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 11:24 pm

I like the idea of Pam & Reg much better than Len & Reg - that could become a drabble all on it's own!
I haven't seen any of this series either - he always wants o see something else and I haven't been bothered enough to argue about it. I don't like Jennie Bond anyway.

#41: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 1:03 am

Someone please write more!!!!

#42: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 12:31 pm

I'm really enjoying seeing the evil side of my nature, so lots more please.

#43: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 12:35 pm

Don't think it's my turn, I'm currently being evil elsewhere...now where did I leave Vikki? Hope someone has written another bit when I get back.

Glad you like the Pam/Reg thing.

#44: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 1:27 pm

Oh this is a stroke of genius! How wonderful! Please someone carry on soon!

#45: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 2:22 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

Don't think it's my turn, I'm currently being evil elsewhere...now where did I leave Vikki?

#46: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 2:51 pm

I wouldn't necessarily call what Carolyn has done to you elsewhere 'evil' Vikki.

#47: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 3:07 pm

Wouldn't you? Rolling Eyes

#48: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 3:08 pm

*wonders what Sarah's definition of 'evil' is*

#49: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 3:27 pm

Well, at least your death involved Baileys. Razz

#50: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 3:38 pm

Yes, I suppose that's something......

#51: Author: ali, Location: medway, kent

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 7:52 pm

Ooooh want to see Jo and Mary lou doing the head to head bug eating. It's no more than they deserve in most drabbles although I'm currently liking them in a few rare stories. yummy

#52: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 8:03 pm

*ahem, ahem*

"Good, now that I have your attention, we have the last of our contestants."

The imporatant announcement made the office jump to their feet in anticipation. Jennie went to the whiteboard and wrote the full list of names:
Joey,
Mary-Lou
Professor Hunter,
Anne Seymour,
Pamela Slater-Entwistle,
Sister Robin,
Lady Evadne Watson, nee Lanis
Biddy
Jem Russell
Nell Wilson.

There was an audible gasp as these last two names were revealed, and grinning Jennie threw up her arms and shouted,
"Let the fun begin."

Please note folks I haven't seen any of this series and only just remember the first, so I cannot do the next few bits.

#53: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:09 pm

I haven't seen any of them, so I'm really looking forward to everyone else' contributions!!

#54: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:20 pm

I'm another who isn't watching the TV programme - but I manage to think of evil things all by my lickle self. THIS version doesn't HAVE to match the TV one, does it?

#55: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:26 pm

I'd like to help - but I'm just not evil, not evilenough anyway.

#56: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:44 pm

You must be though. You have the evil one's name!

#57: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:57 pm

Are we setting it in the Jungle as in the TV show ?

#58: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 12:38 am

Why not? Then we can add the creepie-crawlies along with Rachel's uh, more original tortures.

#59: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 1:05 am

Rachel wrote:

You must be though. You have the evil one's name!

NO NO NO NO NO NO - I'm not an Elinor, so there tongue

#60: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 1:15 am

So what's your full name, Ellie? Even if it's Eleanor, it still sounds like Elinor..

#61: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 3:04 am

Lisa_T wrote:

So what's your full name, Ellie? Even if it's Eleanor, it still sounds like Elinor..

Um, I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said Esmeralda would you?
No, I didn't think so - it's not Eleanor though.
Anyway, Ellie can be used as a given name without being a short for anything.

#62: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 3:30 am

Ermmmmm..... Ellen? Elaine? Elsie? Giselle?

#63: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 11:16 am

Helen? Ella?

Is someone going to write any more of this?

#64: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 11:29 am

I don't think we should write anymore till Ellie confesses her real name!! Wink

#65: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:22 pm

*shrieks with laughter at this story so far* I haven't seen the original show, so I can't help with it, but please keep going, someone!

#66: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:49 am

Vikki wrote:

Ermmmmm..... Ellen? Elaine? Elsie? Giselle?

Giselle? I soooo wish I did have a name like Giselle.

But please write some story someone.

#67: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:03 am

A week late Jo Maynard closed the lid on her suitcase. This job was made more difficult than it should have been as the case was crammed to overflowing with pens, notebooks, 3 tins full of Anna's delicious lemon biscuits, honey and nut cakes (no cream) and various other pastries.
'I don't know who I will be with,' thought Jo as she tried to lift the case off the bed 'But I'm sure they'll all appreciate something nice to eat in this camp.'

Meanwhile in the spare bedroom of Carn Beg, Mary-Lou Trelawney was also finishing her packing. Being used to a lot of travelling her case was full of only essential items of clothing but included a compass and whistle.

At the same time in the master bedroom at The Roundhouse, Madge Russell was folding the last of her husband's shirts prior to putting them in his travelling bag.
"Jem,' she said as she took care not to crease the garment too much " are you sure you'll need 5 suits and twenty-eight shirts for a camp."

"Of course I will," said Jem in his most patronising voice "I don't know who else will be there but if I have been chosen the other people are sure to be eminent doctors. Now kindly finish my packing while I go and check my first aid kit."

While these three and the other seven finished packing and started their journeys that would bring them to camp Jennie, Lisa and the rest of the production team were enjoying life in the luxury hotel while they made tyhe last of the arrangements.
Lisa looked at her notes and said to Jennie "Barring any serious delays they should all arrive seperatley and will be taken to thei rooms and given dinner there. Then at 10:00am tomorrow they will arrive in the lounge an all begin to discover who else is going to camp"
"Well done Lisa," Jennie praised her assistant. "Catherine don't forget to check that all the cameras are in position in the room. I don't want to miss a reaction."
Catherine made a note on her pad, then looked up and said " Don't worry Lisa, I'll speak to Pat first thing. I know she has lots of cameras for all round the room."
As Catherine finished speaking there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," Jennie called.
A bell boy entered the room and announced " Your cars are here to take you to the heliport."
"Thank you," Jennie replied rising from hr plush sofa. "Come along ladies. Time to go and inspect the camp."

NB to those non Brits or who have not seen programme they have to wear clothes given by programme and are only allowed 1 luxury item each. So the three above could be in for their first shock.

#68: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 3:15 am

Thank you Susan, both for picking up this story and providing the explanation of the rules.

#69: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 6:10 am

Especially interested in Jem's reaction when he discovers the rules!! Laughing

#70: Author: Tassie_Ellen, Location: Tasmania, Australia

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:04 am

I am definitely NOT a fan of reality TV, and have never watched Survivor or the show that has inspired this drabble, but am sure that Reality CBB-TV will be great!

Looking forward to lots of interesting (read evil) twists!

Ellen *who has always wanted to be able to shout "Lights, Camera, Action!" megaphone

#71: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 11:52 am

Hehehehehehe!!!! I have just picked up 3 books that need cataloguing - the title is 'Understanding reality television'!!!!!!!

#72: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:49 pm

*giggles* Susan, this is great. I've too much on my plate myself at the moment, so I couldn't do this even if i wanted to. You're doing a great job and this is promising to be veeeeeeery funny. I can't wait to see what Joey and Nell have to say when they're presented with tank tops /combats/ bikinis/anything else you can think of!!! Oh, and one of the women should be camp leader- just to wind Jem up! ROFL

#73: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:12 pm

This is great. I hope the location of the camp will be suitably grotty, I don't want any inferior tortures done in my name!

Twisted Evil

#74: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 5:40 pm

*lol* I particularly loved Jem's pomposity!

#75: Author: ali, Location: medway, kent

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 7:39 pm

In her room Mary lou pulled out her camoflage gear and rapidly put it on, followed by full face paint. She crept out of her room sure that the threats about trying to see the other guests didn't really apply to her. She got no further than the stairs before several overjoyed members of the production team man handled her back to her own room and locked her in with the promise of dire retribution in regards of the first jungle challenge. It didn't take much to rig a vote although if things went as they suspected most of the contestants would be part of that first horrifying task. Meanwhile ML was wondering were she had gone wrong, she had been assured that the correct clothing would make her almost invisible to the human eye.

#76: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 7:42 pm

*giggles* Good for the production team!

#77: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 8:59 pm

Jem meanwhile had behaved as he always did in a hotel room. He put his shoes out to be polished, a pair of trousers in the press, ready for morning, hung up all his shirts so he could make a choice at the right time, and put his pjama's under the pillow, eatingt he mint as he did so.

That done he went into the bathroom, ran a long, deep, hot bath and soaked for an hour. He followed the bath with a shower, just to be sure, then he dropped his used clothes in the waste bin and cleaned his teeth. Wrapping the hotel robe around his ample waist he sat down and clipped his toe nails and then his finger nails, carefuly disposing of the clippings in the ashtray before washing his hands once more. Still in the bathroom he meticulously cleaned out his ears, flushing the cotton buds down the tiolet and washed his hands once more.

Then he took out his pjamas, donned them and climbed into bed, smoothing the sheets down as he did. He put the light off and thumb in mouth went to sleep.

#78: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:03 pm

I'm longing to see Jem's reaction when reality hits!!! Twisted Evil

#79: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:36 pm

Pat wrote:

I'm longing to see Jem's reaction when reality hits!!! Twisted Evil

You could always write it!

#80: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:45 pm

The trouble is that I have never seen the programme, so have nothing to base it on!

Professor Hunter sat in his room, wondering about the other contestants. He was particularly interested in the female contestants, as he was complacently confident in his magnetic attraction for the opposite sex. Only once had he had his advances rejected, and that had been in his youth before the War. That lady had been extremely rude to him, and then vanished off to India. He thoght back to that time to try and remember her name.... oh yes, Josephine Bettany, that was it! He would rather like to meet her again some day, as he felt sure that she would by now be an embittered spinster. No other male could best him in the romance stakes!

Last edited by Pat on Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

#81: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:46 pm

i just caught up with this adn still ahven't watch the actual programme!

#82: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.Ireland

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 12:25 am

Well done all. I love the programme and the drabble.

*chants for more*

#83: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 1:03 am

I'm sort of half watching it at the moment, for the first time - I'd love to se Jem in the red clothing, though I think it ought to be brighter, a nice shade of fuschia for example.

#84: Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 2:34 am

He he he, can't wait to see what happens when they all get in the one room together! Shocked

#85: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 4:41 am

Biddy Courvoisier was perhaps the most wily and the least arrogant of all those gathered at the hotel. She was standing at her window, smoking the last of her cigarettes (she would start on nicotine patches the next day) when she heard a familiar voice float in through the window. Thankfully for Biddy's sanity, the rest of Joey's body didn't float in after it, but remained in the room above Biddy's head.

Becoming a little worried now, she went over to her case and opened it to produce her small sewing case. She stitched various useful items, which she stole from the hotel room, into her clothes. Matches into one hem, shampoo in another, soap in a third. Sadly for her good intentions, her stitching was not as good as she thought it was and the matches began to rub against each other in a rather worrying manner.

#86: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 8:58 am

Just like to point out to KB that we're not in the Holocaust thread here!!! Razz

#87: Author: Trish, Location: Australia

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 10:06 am

This is hysterical!!!! Love the image of Jem sucking his thumb and can't wait to see what happens when Prof. Hunter and Jo lay eyes on each other.

What book was Hunter in anyway? I haven't read that one.

#88: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 10:08 am

*giggles wildly and begins to think the TV programme should be watched*

#89: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 10:20 am

Trish wrote:

What book was Hunter in anyway? I haven't read that one.

Gillian is where he is mentioned by name. He's the doctor that EBD said was pursuing Jo, and was one reason she went to India. It was expanded in Gillian.

#90: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:48 pm

Pat wrote:

Just like to point out to KB that we're not in the Holocaust thread here!!! Razz

And since when are crossovers illegal? Besides, I thought a flaming Biddy might be useful when the time comes to light a fire!

#91: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 4:00 pm

This is wonderful will have to think of some more on way home tonight.

I admit to watching the show as last week there was nothing else to watch that Mum would watch - she quite likes this if they don't swear or eat the grubs and bugs.

#92: Author: Marianne, Location: Lancaster

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 6:47 pm

lol! am loving this!

#93: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 9:07 pm

ooooooh aren't they all in for a shock!
More please
I do love this!

#94: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 12:19 am

*g* Susan, if she objects to the swearing and bug-eating, there's not much more to see, is there? Laughing

I'm sure we can have plenty of bugs. Nice big ones. Especially for Jem. H'mmm. Maybe that's too tame, actually.

#95: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:58 am

Ohhhhhhhh!!! Somebody pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease take this further!!!!
I haven't seen the programme either, but this is hysterical!!!!!

#96: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:14 am

You could take it further yourself, Vikki. I wrote some without having seen it!

#97: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:51 am

I'd love some more of this. From what I've seen in the newspapers, they get up to all sorts of things that aren't in the script.

#98: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:42 pm

from what I have READ about the actual show, this version is going to be much more entertaining!

#99: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:14 pm

*lol* Good call, Rachel!

#100: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:35 am

Lisa_T wrote:

*g* Susan, if she objects to the swearing and bug-eating, there's not much more to see, is there? Laughing

I'm sure we can have plenty of bugs. Nice big ones. Especially for Jem. H'mmm. Maybe that's too tame, actually.

She doesn't always hear it if the sound is not too loud and the bug eating is only one programme (I think).

DAY 1 of 10

Each of the ten contestants breakfasted in their seperate suites, then got ready to finally meet the other nine. Each one had found an envelope on their breakfast tray containing a piece of card bearing the words 'LEAVE YOUR ROOM AT ........ NO SOONER AND NO LATER. TAKE THE LIFT TO THE TOP FLOOR AND GO TO CONFERENCE ROOM THREE.'
The time on each card differred by five minutes. Each contestant spent the time between breakfast and leaving their room in their different ways. Professor Hunter did his daily routine of press-ups and squat thrusts. Finished off by a hot shower and rubbing himself all over with oil. Biddy wrote a letter to her husband and children, Jo after spending ten minutes brushing out her hair and replaiting it, then she started making notes for her next book, it's working title 'Life In The Jungle'. Jem dressed himself in his next suit and repacked his shirts (incidentally making a real hash of packing them). Most of the others just lounged around except Robin who spent the time on her knees parying that the heavenly Father would protect her while wondering why He had sent her here.

The first to leave their room for Conference Room 3 was Nell Wilson. She followed her instructions to the letter and soon arrived in an empty conference room. Five minutes late she was joined by Jem.
'Good heavens Nell! What are you doing here? Jem yelled as he saw the other occupant of the room. 'This is a conference of eminent Doctors not schoolteachers.'
Bristling at the word schoolteachers (she was after all a Head Mistress) Nell replied 'I have a note telling me to be here.'
'Let me see it,' demanded Jem.
Silently, though inwardly raging Nell handed over the envelope she had had the foresight to bring with her. Jem paled as he realised thar except for the time it was identical to his. Before he could speak the door opened to reveal Anne Seymour. Anne had left the Chalet School to stay at home and help her mother and had therefore spent her adult life on committees amd 'doing good works' and had put on about ten stones in weight due to lack of exercise and lots of fattening lunches and dinners. Neither Jem and Nell recognised Anne as they watched her walk down the room toward them. Suddenly she stopped, stretched out her hands and cried 'Miss Wilson! Dr Jem! What are you doing here?' Clutching her scattered wits Nell said 'An Old Girl I'm sure but who are you? We have so many I'm sorry I can't remember you all.'
'Anne Seymour.' said the name's owner.
'Of course I remember you now,' said Nell struggling to hide her shock at how much weight Anne had gained.
'Hello Anne. Nice to see you,' said Jem coming to shake hands, secretly wondering if the conference was to be on weight management.
At this point the door opened again and in walked Mary-Lou in full combat gear and camouflage paint Greetings were exchanged between them and Anne and Mary-Lou introduced. The next to arrive was Pam Slater-Entwhistle who nearly caused Jem palpitations when he realised she must have married Reg. He tried not to shake her hand but had to inwardly glad that neither Jack or Jo could see him. Pam was followed by Evadne who was welcomed vociferously by Anne glad to see another person from Tyrol. Shortly after Pam, Robin arrived feeling very peculiar wearing normal clothes, Mother Superior had given grudging permission for her not to wear her habit for the two weeks. Robin greeted Jem extatically having not seen her ex guardian for many years. 'Oh Oncle Jem it is so nice to see thee,' she said remembering how she used to greet him when she was small.
'Er.....er...' Jem stuttered wondering what he was doing in a room with six women. Luckily for Jem's sanity the next figure through the door was a man. Thankfully Jem strode toward him hand outstretched in greeting.
'Hello old man. Nice to see........' Jem's greeting faded into silence as he recognised Professor Hunter. The younger man paled in shock as he recognised his ex boss of so many years ago. A quick glance told him that Jem's sister-in-law was not among the group of laughing chatting women at the other end of the room.
'Ah ladies,' Hunter strode over to the other end of the room leaving Jem stranded 'Let me introduce myself. I'm Professor Hunter at your service.'
Just as the last lady told him who she was, the door opened again to admit Biddy, who greeted all the others thinking she must be mistaken about hearing Jo's voice the night before.
Suddenly the door began to open slowly. Each head in the room turned to the door each mind thinking the same thought "It couldn't be... could it?' Finally the door opened to reveal the figure standing there. The heart of each person in the room sank as they all saw, just as they had feared Jo! Each of the women swallowed her dismay and went forward to hug and be hugged in return by Jo while the two men exchanged a very pointed glance.
'Jem. Oh Jem isn't this wonderful. Two weeks in the jungle, plenty of time for writing.' Jo shouted as she ran across the room to him.
Professor Hunter came forward 'Hello Jo. Remember me?'
Jo looked the stranger up and down with a very quizzical look, and said in her haughtiest tone'No I'm sorry can't say I do. Please remind me.'
'Professor Albert Hunter. I worked at the San in Tyrol, many years ago.' Realisation dawned on Jo and Jem stepped forward to catch her as she swayed where she stood. Mindful of all the eyes on her Jo kept her swimming wits about her and murmured 'How nice,' before fleeing over to the women at the other side of the room. Before anyone could comment a disembodied voice came from the speaker in the corner of the room.
'Go through the double doors in the far wall and you will each find a pile of clothes with your name on them. Please dress in the trousers, shirt and bodywarmer. Pack the rest of the clothes in the rucsac provided and then come back into the main room. To keep propriety Dr Russell and Professor Hunter please go first. Jem and Albert diappeared through the door and found their piles. Jem picked his up looked at them and dropped them again. 'I can't wear these.' He strode back into the other room and faced the speaker. 'Excuse me. Excuse me.' He called feeling very silly to be speaking to a speaker and very conscious of the silent women watching him. 'Yes , Sir James,' the voice was back.
'I can't wear those clothes. I only wear Saville row suits, a new one every day and Turnbull and Asser shirts again a new one every day. I have never worn shorts in my life.'
To those in the room there seemed to be a muttering from the speaker then the voice spoke again. 'Sorry Sir James. You all have to wear the same clothes. If you really feel you cannot do this, you may retire from the programme and a stand-in will be appointed.'
Jem thought about it for all of ten seconds and decided he would loose too much face if he backed out now. Quietly he returned to the other room and dressed as instructed. While the womed donned their clothes Jam and Hunter were taken back to their suites and told to pick out their luxury item. Jem tried to stuff his clothes in the rucsac. He was firmly but pointedly told it wasn't allowed. After a heavy argument and again being reminded he could leave if he wanted and chose as his luxury a picture of Madge and the children.
Meanwhile the Professor was having an equal struggle. He wanted to tale a case of his patent body oil plus ten tubs of moisturiser and his favourite cologne. After his advisor reminded him they were going into the jungle and the cologne could attract bugs he put it down and eventually with very bad grace decided on one tub of moisturiser.

Most of the ladies had fared better. Nell, Anne Biddy, Robin and Pam had followed the instructions to the letter. Nell had her rosary, Anne her special hairbrush. Biddy a teddy bear given to her by her children, Robin her bible. Pam had a new maths text book she wanted to look over. There was a battle royal when mary-Lou discovered she couldn't take all her survival gear and shovel and compass. She had to be forcably restrained from braining the producer with the shovel. she was given the same warning as Jem that if she did not want to comply a stand in could be brought in for her. Muttering all sorts of rude things she complide but managed to secrete her compass in her pocket. Evadne too had secreted her makeup among her clothes her advisor had been so overawed by Evadne that she failed to watch her properly. As they all began to gather at the lift a well known voice floated down the corridor to them.
'I will take them. I will. I will.' It screamed.
Nell had to hide a grin as she realised how like Cecil Jo sounded when she was in a paddy.
'Anna made them specially for me. I can't go without them.' Silense came as the patient producer explained again that food was a definite no no. After about twenty minutes Jo finally gave in and all Anna's delicious food was put to one side to be taken to the production office for the staff tea break.
As the embarrassed crowd near the lift started to feel thankful the display was over Jo's voice was heard shrieking again.
'I need all those notebooks. I am an authoress. I write books. I need to make notes. I need my books.' On and on over and over Jo repeated herself. Again the producer explained the rules as she paused for breath. Finally after being assured she could be evicted from the jungle before she got there Jo gave in and packed one notebook and one pencil.
At last after nearly an hour she joined the others and with a very mutinous look on her face she charged into the first lift. The lifts descended to the ground floor, they were ushered out and taken to two helicopters for their flight to the jungle. As they climbed into the helicopters Hunter managed a seat beside Jo and putting his hand on her knee said 'Never mind Jo. I'm here, I'll look after you.'
Jo did not respond but stared stoically out of the window.

Meanwhile back at the hotel Jennie and Pat turned from watching the video footage of the meetings in the conference room and the disposal of extra luxury items and said to the figure half hidden in the shadow of the big chair who said 'Very interesting. This is going to be a fun two weeks.'

#101: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:53 am

*shrieks with laughter* Oh, dear, that's wonderful! Nobody's changed at all!

#102: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 8:07 am

Susan that was fantastic! Laughing

#103: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 10:28 am

Am laughing hysterically

Love what Anne Seymour has turned into!

#104: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 10:31 am

This is hilarious, thank you. And its so much better than the original. I can't wait for more!!

So who do people think will win??

#105: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 12:09 pm

That was brilliant Susan. I don't think I've read any of your writing before, but it is very good. I wonder who the person in the big chair is. And I wonder who will win - maybe Biddy or Evadne?

#106: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 2:46 pm

Loving this, and longing to find out just who is pulling my strings.

#107: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:02 pm

Which Pat is it? Question

#108: Author: Rebecca, Location: Kendal/Oxford

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:48 pm

I've never seen the programme before but this is GREAT!

#109: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:40 pm

*giggling wildly, and wondering who the shadowy figure in the chair might be!*

#110: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:51 pm

Goodness, I hadn't really thought who it might be. Jack, maybe? Or perhaps a disgruntled girl who didn't get enough attention?

#111: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:58 pm

I'm looking forward to seeing what Trials they will have to do...

#112: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:44 am

Jennie you said you did not want tortures in your name so there is a mastermind who will be revealed at the end. Which Pat? Pat it's you - you did the bit about Hunter on page 2!

The helicopters landed in a clearing on the edge of the jungle. All the contestants exited them and walked across the grass to a small group of people standing a few feet away. Jem had to be called back by the pilot to collect his rucsac.

Jennie, Pat and Lisa were part of the group. Jennie stepped forward and introduced herself as liaison officer for the peogramme and then introduced a tall man standing beside her, as Dr. Bob the medical consultant for the show and a bearded man next to him as Eric the wildlife expert. Eric proceeded to show them tanks containing all sorts of creatures they would meet in the jungle both friendly and venomous.
He concluded his talk by saying 'We have done a sweep and removed as many of the harmful creatures as possible but it is probable that some will get into the camp so be careful.'
Dr Bob then took centre stage and spoke about health matters, being crefuk if the sun shone all day, boiling the water correctly, washing hands etc. He concluded his talk by saying the contestants would not be allowed to dose themselves but to go to the bush telegraph if they needed anything. Unfortunatley both doctors thought it beneath them to listen to a local GP so they switched off for most of his talk.
When Dr Bob finished Jennie stepped forward again and said 'You have all heard what Eric and Dr Bob have had to say. Do any of you want to leave now? If you do just say "I'm a Chalet celebrity get me out of here" and a stand-in will be brought in.'
There was silence for a full minute when Jennie finished speaking. It was obvious no-one would admit to wanting to leave, so after exchanging a look with Lisa who made a note on the pad she had been writing on, Jennie waved over too men who had been standing on the edge of the group. 'These are Gordon and Neville, bush rangers they will take you to the camp.'
'This way.' said Neville who was a man of few words. The contestants followed him in single file, with Gordon bringing up the rear.
Two hours walk brought them to the camp. There was a lot of moaning and muttering during the walk but Miss Wilson silenced Jo and the rest of the girls by reminding them they had been quides and walked much further than that.
Eventually they came to a clearing that contained logs to start a fire 4 camp beds and a large crate containing cooking utensils. The ten dropped their rucsacs and examined everything. Biddy looked up to ask Gordon a question and they realised the rangers had gone.
'Why only 4 beds?' Jo asked. 'There are ten of us.'
'What's that pile of stuff over there? asked Evadne.
'Our tents?' queried Pam.
Robin who was nearest went to take a look. It looks like more beds and some hammocks. Then came the disembodied voice they had heard that morning 'Your first task is too make the rest of the beds. Then choose someone to do the first bush tucker trial.'
After the voice had faded into silence Jo said 'I vote we have a cup of tea before we do anything.'
'What are you going to make it with Jo dear?' asked Nell gently.
'Boil a kettle of course,' Jo replied.
Nell smiled a grim smile and pointed to the heap of logs and box of utensils. 'We need a fire first. You lot sort out the beds and I'll see to the fire and get some water.'
Nell leaving the others to get on with the beds soon had a fire made and going, as she stood up to get something to collect water in she was astounded to see both Jem and Hunter sitting on a ready made bed each and Pam and Evadne sitting on the other two.
'Why aren't you helping the others?' she queried.
'I had already chosen my bed,'said Hunter. 'So I have no need to help anyone.'
'I can't ruin my surgeons hands, said Jem.
Not stopping to listen to the excuses from the two women Nell went to the nearby stream and filled her pan with water. After she returned to camp with it and placed it on the stove she went to help the others. Luckily Jo had been reminded of her days as a guide captain and all the other beds were ready. Soon they were placed round the fire in a large semi circle. Jo made sure hers was as far away from Hunter as possible.
Each one tried to make a personal spce for him or herself round their bed.
When the water boiled Nell made tea as they had no teapot it was made straight into the mugs and there was much muttering from those who had claimed the original beds when those who had worked in the heat of the sun were served first. While they were trying to relax over their tea the voice came again, 'Nell you are camp leader for today, after today you will have to vote for a leader. Please choose one from among you to do todays bush tucker trial.'
Jem stood up and announced 'There is no need for a vote. I will do the trial. I am a man. I can shoot and fish I will bring back food for all.'
The others did a bit of muttering but were too well trained to give in to him that it soon subsided. A few minutes later the voice asked if someone had been picked. Jem, still feeling foolish about speaking to someone he could not see, stood up and said 'Yes, me.'
The voice gave him instructions of how to find the bush tucker clearing and off he went. When he was out of earshot Jo voiced what some of the others were thinking 'I hope he's not going to be that bossy all the time.'
Bidd said 'Well it's up to us to see he isn't. Anyone coming to explore?' so they all went to see there immediate surroundings.
Meanwhile Jem ahd followed the insructions and found the clearing which to his surprise contained no guns or fishing rods or for that matter anything to be fished or caught. All it contained were two women he had never seen before. One of them stepped forward 'Hello I'm Vikki and this is Rachel, we are the anchorwomen for the programme and we will be helping with the trials. Todays trial is called 'Spaceman's Helmet.'
'What has that to do with food?' Jem asked, thinking how nice it would be to show off before two such nice ladies.
'You put your head in this,' said Rachel producing what lokked like a perspex spacemans helmet from behind a tree. 'Then we put ten different sorts of creatures in and you get ten meals for camp. Quite easy really.'
'But creatures are dirty, smelly and unhygenic. I'm a doctor, I can't do that.' Jem blustered.
'Oh,' said Vikki. 'You can say "I'm a Chalet celebrity get me out of here" and you don't have to do it. But you'll only have rice and beans for supper.'
Jem realised that if he did not do it he would look small in the eyes of Hunter and the women in the camp.
‘Ok I’ll do it,’ he said.
He stood in the place indicated and had the helmet put on his head. Two seconds later some bush ants were dropped in, shortly followed by some mealworms and then cockroaches. It took him all his time at this point not to call out but somehow he realised the young women wanted him to fail so he gritted his teeth and carried on. Seven other lots of animals were placed inside the helmet and Jem was never so happy as when he heard the words ‘Well done. That’s all ten so you will all eat tonight.’ The helmet was taken off and Jem was told to go back to camp.
‘Bbbbut,’ he stammered. ‘Where’s the shower?’
‘No showers in the jungle mate,’ said Rachel. ‘You can have a wash in the stream near camp.’
Jem slowly made his way to camp and was none to pleased when the others made enquiries about his shooting and fishing. Or when the girls smirked when he told them what he had had to do.
Pam Slater-Entwhistle put the icing on his cake when she said ‘Did you know you have a spider on your head and mealworms on your back?’
After squirming to try and see them Jem reckoned discretion was the better part of valour and decamped to the stream for a swim.
That night the campers waited for a stream of waiters to come into the camp with their dinner and spent many a happy hour discussing what it would be. Some opted for steak, others for chicken. Some wanted trifle for dessert the rest apple pie. Great was the shock for all of them when a cry of ‘Ahoy there!’ was heard and a basket came down on a wire. Inside the basket were ten small pieces of chicken and some vegetables.
‘What’s this?’ cried Anne. ‘That’s not enough for one never mind ten.’
Nell, the really practical one of the group, said it’s the makings of chicken casserole and proceeded to chop the ingredients up and out them in a big pot of water on the fire.
Of course cooking on an open fire is not as quick as a proper stove so it took ages but finally they ate their food. Both Hunter and Jem were annoyed when Nell and Biddy, who had helped her with the cooking, made sure the food was shared equally. When Hunter tried to say something about men having bigger appetites than women Nell gave him a look that soon stopped the words on his lips.
After supper they all retired to bed and so ends day one.

#113: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:22 am

Wonderful Susan, I've only seen one of the live broadcasts, but I'm sure this is much better than the real programme - spiders and ants don't bother me too much, but if Jem can cope with mealworms, than respect to the man - I don't think there is any creature on earth more revolting than a mealworm, except maybe a maggot.

#114: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:55 am

*giggles wildly* Fantastic stuff, Sue! I took a vindictive joy in Jem's suffering! WHo's next?

#115: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 8:53 am

Excellent Susan - really want both Jem and Hunter to get their comeuppance.

Thinks Nell should win! Smile

#116: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 8:56 am

Ooh, I hadn't even thought about who should win...

#117: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 10:37 am

*lol* really enjoying this. I have a foul cold so I need this to keep me going!

Can't wait to see more of Joey in the camp, and Nell absolutely must win!!

#118: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 10:38 am

My ribs ache! Never having watched any of the reality TV shows, I had not read this thread before but it is hilarious! will follow it with great interest!

#119: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 10:45 am

Loves the fact Jem would be pompous enough to volunteer!

I agree Nell is brilliant

(Ooh had a thought, is it possible to set up a poll on this thread where we can vote people off, and change it every day ~ there is a bit where you can set a time limit)

#120: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 11:27 am

Ally wrote:

(Ooh had a thought, is it possible to set up a poll on this thread where we can vote people off, and change it every day ~ there is a bit where you can set a time limit)

What a fantastic idea!
Please someone say we can do it?! Laughing

#121: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 12:48 pm

Wonderful idea!

megaphone

Calling a mod, any mod! Hello, please add a poll to this thread so we can vote off who we want to get rid of!

#122: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:13 pm

A poll is a brilliant idea if anyone can do it. If one goes up I will follow with it. Sorry for picking CBBers without asking permission but have been wondering how to go with this and have decided to go with the way the programmes run just picking the interesting bits out of the day like highlights. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.

Today's question Do we think anyone would give up and if anyone did who would replace them?

#123: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:16 pm

Well, I can imagine Biddy being asked to leave because of her language!

#124: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:17 pm

this is great and soooo funny!

#125: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:30 pm

*lol* I would love, just to bring him down a few notches, if Jem left temporarily...

#126: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:51 pm

KB wrote:

*lol* I would love, just to bring him down a few notches, if Jem left temporarily...

Not for a few days, please. I'd like to see him brought down more than a few notches!

#127: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:09 pm

Oh, he has to come back, if only so he can suffer more! And what happens to those who are booted off?

Do we get to see the reactions of other CS-related people watching this on TV?

#128: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:19 pm

We could if you wrote it KB! Wink

#129: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:20 pm

I'm afraid I haven't seen the show, Chloe, so I wouldn't be much good at it.

#130: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 3:57 pm

This is really great. Very Happy

My parents love the programme, but with me being at uni, I haven't seen it. Just one question, does everyone in the camp realise they are on television? Jem thought he was going to a medical conference at first, and has he realised yet he is on live tv?

#131: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:19 pm

Sarah_L wrote:

Jem thought he was going to a medical conference at first, and has he realised yet he is on live tv?

*g* oh, if he hasn't I can't wait til he does! Evil or Very Mad

#132: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:25 pm

I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing he knows.

#133: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:35 pm

Aren't all the cameras more or less hidden though?
(I could be wrong, I haven't seen much of Celebrity)

#134: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:50 pm

This is really funny, I think that Anne Seymour might want out when she realises how little there is to eat and that Thelka should replace her!

#135: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:16 pm

When do you all think the poll should start? Today? Tomorrow?

#136: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:17 pm

Now! Now! Now!

#137: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:19 pm

Yes now please! Whilst I'm still around. Please.

#138: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:40 pm

Great idea to have a poll, but maybe we ought to see a lttle bit more of some of the characters before deciding who to vote out?

#139: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:52 pm

I love Bill - she's doing a great job as Leader!

*looking forward to seeing people 'taken down a peg or two'

#140: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.Ireland

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 6:09 pm

I think Robin should leave because she won't have the strength to survive in the heat of the jungle. She could be replaced by Matron Besley

#141: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 9:35 pm

In the real thing they are in a week with all them there and then one gets voted out each day, with no replacements. The last one left is the winner, but that is decided on the last day, they don't have to spend a night there on their own. I would suggest we keep to the same rules. I think a replacement os only put in if one leaves during the first week before voting starts.

I would suggest we keep the same rules, so start the voting when they have had seven days there, the poll set on day seven for an eviction on day eight. I know we can set a poll with a timespan of one day, bjt I don't kno0w if we can then replace it each day with a new one. I'll give it a try. Please PM me if I don't get the poll up on time as I'm on every day, but not managing to keep up on all the threads every day at the moment. Roll on half term!

#142: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 11:24 pm

Thanks Carolyn that's what I meant but didn't explain myself too well. Replacements only go in in the first week.
Once they are voted out they can't go back in.

In RL the public choose who goes to the bush tucker trials but we don't need a poll for that one. If you think someone should do a trial please say so. There is a star for each person and the person doing the trial needs to collect a star for each person to enable them to have a meal each night.

The trials as I remember are as follows:
Climbing Rope Ladders (as in gym) suspended between trees
Crawling through a line of tanks containg creatures
Rowing Boat
In a Lake With Crocs
Crawling along arope ladder suspended over water
Climbing ladders up against trees to get stars out of tanks fixed to the trees
Eating grubs and stuff
Crawling through cages of rats
Standing in a tank of water with water creatures put in
Buried underground - think this would be good for Bill who may claustraphobia after Exile.
Putting head in to different tanks containing creatures.
Water slide for the last four

#143: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 11:45 pm

This is great! I loved Jem's attitude -"me man, you lowly women". It would be nice to see him fail a challenge in the future though - especially if most of the women succeed!

there was also the trial Jordan did last night (didn't see tonight's though) - to walk along logs in the water and move different creatures (mostly different types of snakes) into another tank. 3 tanks of snakes, 1 tank of eels and 1 tank of various creatures like little crocs and water dragons. the snakes were quite vicious, although they'd all had their venom removed!

#144: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 1:14 am

I didn't see that one have mixed up some of this years with previous ones - we can change them when the story gets written.

#145: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 6:47 am

Considering what Anne Seymour has become, I think it would be very appropriate for her to crawl through the tank. And Hunter has to do something that damages his precious hands!

#146: Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 7:58 am

Considering how big Anne *Butter-ball* Seymour is at the moment, wouldn't trying to swing on the ropes be more appropriate?

#147: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 8:04 am

*giggles* yes, probably.

#148: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 9:26 am

Perhaps we ought to keep Anne in to help her lose some weight!

Thanks for offering to do the poll Carolyn Very Happy

#149: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 3:18 pm

*howling with laughter at this!!*
And yay! I got to make Jem suffer!!!! Very Happy

#150: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 3:22 pm

I watched the end of Celebrity last night when Lord Brockett left. All i could think about was the CS version - had me in stitches!

#151: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 5:45 pm

Just hope I can get the poll to work after the first one. Oh well, will face that when it's time. Still awaiting the next installment.

#152: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 9:27 pm

Eeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwww!!!!
I've just watched the bit where they made Jennie Bond eat all these foul things!!!!!!!!
How she could, I'll never know!!!
*looks for the barfing smiley!!*

#153: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 2:05 am

Nicci wrote:

I watched the end of Celebrity last night when Lord Brockett left. All i could think about was the CS version - had me in stitches!

I saw that and in my mind saw Hunter doing it. Have an installment half written. Did it when had access probs to the site tisn't finished yet but will post tomorrow (oops later today).

#154: Author: Kate, Location: Ireland

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 2:16 am

Kerry won... GRRR. I can't stand her. Anyway - isn't it kind of cruelty to animals - the whole thing?

But i love the CS version - Smile

#155: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:04 am

Any chance of more our version soon?

#156: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 3:56 pm

Good question KB!

#157: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:20 pm

Thouht you had some more Susan! Smile

#158: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 11:39 pm

I do I do!!!!

#159: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 11:41 pm

And it is...?

#160: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 12:12 am

Prove it Sue Wink

#161: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 1:54 am

creeps in to admit it is at work. Obviously the e-mail didn't come to my pc at home. SORRY X 10million. Will post as soon as I can tomorrow.

#162: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 1:56 am

We'll forgive you Sue - this time!

*looking forward to reading it tomorrow

#163: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:33 am

Thank you. Hopefully the pc will behave a bit better and if its quieter I'll be able to post sooner.

#164: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:21 am

As promised.

Day 2

As the camera on the broadcasting platform high above the jungle began to roll Vikki and Rachel turned towards it.
‘Good evening viewers in the UK,’ said Vikki with a bright smile.
‘And good morning to those in Australia,’ said Rachel with an even brighter one.
At which point faint cheers could be heard from the production crew, family members of the campers, and CBBers who where generally helping with the production.
‘Welcome to day two of ‘I’m a Chalet Celebrity Get ME out of Here,’ said Rachel turning slightly to look at the plasma screen behind her. As dawn broke in the jungle this morning the campers began to rise from their beds and hammocks. I won’t say woke up because most of them seem to have slept very badly.’
As Rachel was speaking the screen changed from a general view of the campers getting up to a dingy screen and vague shapes wandering about.
Vikki took up the story, ‘As you can see from the pictures taken by the infra-red cameras most of them spent the night sorting out their beds or visiting the jungle dunny. But having had their morning tea most of them seem to be brightening up a little’
The scene on the screen changed to show the campers sitting round the camp fire cradling mugs of tea. The low mutter of conversation swelled as the camera panned straight into the camp.
‘It’s so weird sleeping outside,’ Jo’s voice could be heard above all the others.
‘You used to do it years ago in the garden of Die Rosen,’ Jem reminded her.
‘Ooh! Yes! You’re right,’ Jo replied. ‘Well maybe I’ll get used to it again. What’s that your reading Nell?’
Nell looked up from the piece of paper she was reading. ‘It’s a letter I found down by the stream when I went for the water.’
‘What’s it say? Jo demanded.
‘Let me read it through then I’ll tell you,’ said Nell quietly as she turned back to her paper. The others watched her quietly. When she had read it through she stood up.
‘It’s camp business.’ Nell announced. ‘We need to elect a leader for the day. I am not eligible as I did it yesterday. Then we need to nominate 3 people one to go to the trial and two to find a treasure chest.’
Her listeners looked at each other in dismay. Most of them had assumed that with her guider skills Nell would be leader all week. The girls also had automatically followed her lead as they were used to her as headmistress.
Jem stood up ‘I will do leader today,’ he announced. ‘Hunter you and Jo can go find the treasure chest.’
‘Do we go now?’ queried Jo, not relishing the prospect of walking through the jungle with her erstwhile pursuer.
‘Yes,’ said Jem.
‘You have to wait for them to tell you,’ Nell countered with a worried look. ‘Didn’t any of you read the letter of instruction?’
‘Thought it was a load of tosh and would be in a studio with TV people to do the hard work,’ Hunter said going red.
‘Well I thought it was a conference on tropical illnesses that are related to jungle life, didn’t quite take in that we would be actually living in the jungle for a fortnight,’ said Jem with a shudder.
The camera pulled back from the camp fire scene and Vikki and Rachel came into focus standing by the plasma screen.
‘As you can see some of the campers have not quite taken it to heart what they were supposed to do, however most of them seem to be settling in quite nicely.’
‘Yes,’ said Vikki a little doubtfully. ‘Later in the morning we had the hunt for the treasure chest. Which proved a little too much for Professor Hunter.’
Again the camera honed in on the camp to show Jo and Hunter getting ready to leave camp. As they toiled up the path from camp Hunter was heard to say to Jo ‘I’ll lead just in case we come up with anything nasty. You ladies need a man to deal with he things the jungle throws at us.’
Jo relieved her feelings at this piece of pomposity by pulling one of her funny faces. The trail of clues led to a waterfall and the chest could clearly be seen on rocks beside the top of the waterfall.
Hunter stood at the bottom looking up at the chest ‘Absolutley ridiculous! he exclaimed. ‘How do they expect me to climb up there, especially on a breakfast of rice and beans.’
Jo with memories of lots of gym lessons and years of climbing about the platz and even earlier in Tyrol looked about and soon spotted some ropes. Tying one of the ropes round her waist and looping one round her shoulders she put the untied end in Hunter’s hands.
‘Hold on to that and pay it out as I ask,’ she said and before he could say a word she had set off up the cliff. At the top of the cliff she tied the spare rope round the chest and lowered it to Hunter and then proceeded to climb down. At the bottom she untied the ropes and put them tidily back where she had found them. Hunter set off back to camp but a very loud ‘Ahem’ from Jo soon brought him back to pick it up. Arriving back at camp Hunter started to expostulate about his adventure climbing the waterfall. Jo caught Biddy’s eye and they both dissolved into giggles. The envelope from the top of the chest was opened and proved a choice of A or B. The campers chose A and where rewarded with some of Anna’s lemon biscuits as a treat.
As they finished their snack the voice came ‘Could Anne report to the bush tucker clearing.’
The scene cut to a petrified Anne arriving in the clearing.
‘Good morning Anne,’ chorused Vikki and Rachel
‘Mmmmorning,’ quavered a very nervous and shaking Anne.
‘Todays Bush Tucker Trial is entitled “Ants in Your Pants!” You put on a special pair of trousers and we fill them with 10 lots of creatures. For each camper. If you are not happy at any time you may call out ‘I’m a Chalet Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Is that OK.’
Anne nodded. Two Rangers came forward and helped her put on the huge trousers.
‘Are you ready Anne? queried Vikki gently.
Again Anne nodded so the Rangers put the first tank of creatures into the top of the trousers followed a minute later by the second and so on up to the tenth.
‘Well done Anne,’ yelled the two presenters. ‘The camp will eat well tonight.’
A still shaking Anne was helped out of the creature filled trousers and set off back to camp. When she arrived there the others were chatting by the fire as the saw Anne appear at the edge of the camp they all started to yell ‘Well how many?’
Anne unsuccessfully tried to hide her grin ‘All ten!’ she replied.
As the other campers chorused their congratulations the camera pulled back to the studio.
‘As you can see,’ said Rachel rather disappointedly ‘Anne did well in her trial. So they will all eat tonight.’
‘Sorry but that’s all we have time for tonight. Tune in again tomorrow to see who is next for the trial.’

#165: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.Ireland

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 1:37 pm

Susan that was brilliant. Enjoyed Professor Hunter being put to shame by a woman. Jo came across well too but I suppose it is early days. Very Happy

#166: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 1:55 pm

Jo did come across very well. Does Jem not understand the concept of electing a leader?

#167: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 3:05 pm

Thank you Susan, glad to see that Jo showed Hunter up, good for Anne too.

#168: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:05 pm

Sarah_L wrote:

Jo did come across very well. Does Jem not understand the concept of electing a leader?

Well, of course not! In his eyes there would only be two possible candidates!

#169: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 6:56 pm

That was great. Good to see Joey putting Hunter to shame, but Jem was so true to form.

Look forward to the next day.

#170: Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet!

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:06 pm

Yay thanks Susan Very Happy

#171: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:40 pm

Thank you Sue!!! I'm glad Jo seems to be coming off quite well in a drabble for once!!!

#172: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:05 pm

Do I have to develop an appalling Geordie accent?

Did I take a carving knife with me?

Can we eat the evicted contestants?

#173: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:40 am

Rachel wrote:

Do I have to develop an appalling Geordie accent?

Did I take a carving knife with me?

Can we eat the evicted contestants?

No you don't need the accent - just decided that this was the way to write this - as per the TV show with highlights so the boring bits can be missed out. I chose you and Vikki for these characters as the way you both come across on the board will help in handling the campers before long.

carving knife - that's up too you if Hunter turns out to be as touchy-felly as Lord B you may need it

I don't think you should eat the evicted contestants but you may eat the rejected grubs and stuff if you like.

Have half the next day written but will post later as I'm out tomorrow night so may have no time to post.

#174: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:54 am

Quote:

I don't think you should eat the evicted contestants but you may eat the rejected grubs and stuff if you like.

*suggests that Susan is no fun Wink

#175: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:31 am

Chelsea wrote:

Quote:

I don't think you should eat the evicted contestants but you may eat the rejected grubs and stuff if you like.

*suggests that Susan is no fun Wink

I didn't say she couldn't - just that she shouldn't - it's up to her really

#176: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 4:59 am

*Giggles* Jo did well - want Jem to fall on his face! More please!

#177: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:38 am

Susan wrote:

I didn't say she couldn't - just that she shouldn't - it's up to her really

In other words - go for it, Rachel!

#178: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:11 pm

KB wrote:

Susan wrote:

I didn't say she couldn't - just that she shouldn't - it's up to her really

In other words - go for it, Rachel!

KB, please don't encourage her....... Shocked

#179: Author: KB, Location: Berlin, Germany

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:26 pm

Oh, come on! It'd be funny!

#180: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 6:42 pm

And I was having such fun imaging Rachel and Vikki as Ant and Dec!!

This is so brilliant Susan, please make the men suffer, I'm glad to see that the women are manging things fine so far...

Carolyn, if you can't redo the poll could you start a new thread for it, we could delete them everyday (if thats possible) so there arn't too many.

#181: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 8:28 pm

Sue?
Sue?
Sue?
Are you there?
Auntie Susie????
May we have some more story please?

#182: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 8:31 pm

*snickers at the thought of Vikki and Rachel being Ant n'Dec*
Susan, do you by any chance mean Vikki's yibbling and Rachel's bloodthirstiness as the characteristics that will help them before long?

*having visions of Vikki yibbling away to some poor contestant while Rachel slashes said contestant with carving knives, laughing manically all the while*

#183: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 8:32 pm

*hopes Sue won't retaliate to being called Auntie Susie by not posting more story*

#184: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:15 pm

Auntie Susie is far too lovely to do something that mean Sarah!!! Wink

#185: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:37 pm

She hasn't posted yet ......

#186: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:46 pm

I think it's a bit early for her isn't it?

#187: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.Ireland

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 10:03 pm

Did she not say she was going out tonight or is that tomorrow night?

#188: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 10:55 pm

yummy yummy yummy!

(this next bit is sung to the same tune as Gollum's happy "fish" song in Two Towers)

Blood and gore,
contestants roar;
My hearts desire,
to roast on fire,
and eat them uuuuuu-pppppppppp!

(followed by smashing contstants head on rock until the blood runs freely)

oh yes - MORE STORY PLEASE AUNTY SUSIEKINS!

#189: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:06 pm

*is seriously worried for CBBers attending the Gathering with Rachel.

#190: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:18 pm

Why would that be Chelsea? Rolling Eyes

#191: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:19 pm

Strength in numbers. They'll be safe. Confused

#192: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:22 pm

Don;'t forget this is Rachel the Witch. She might decide to hop on her broomstick and pay Canada and Oz a visit..

#193: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:27 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

Don;'t forget this is Rachel the Witch. She might decide to hop on her broomstick and pay Canada and Oz a visit..

The DEW line works for witches as well as missles.

#194: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:33 pm

bet it deoesn't work on witches who fly through the sewer system and up the toilets.

What the heck is the DEW line anyway? I'm just an iggerant which! Wink

#195: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:38 pm

The DEW line is - Denfense Early Warning line. Basically the US/Canadian miltary set it up in the Arctic Canada to warn us when the Soviets sent a missile at us (the shortest distance between USSR and Canada/US was over the Arctic).

*makes note to close and seal all toilet seat covers.

#196: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:48 pm

Oh THAT dew! It doesn't work on blocks of frozen urine then? Wink

#197: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:53 pm

Apparently not Wink

I suppose they didn't realise that the Soviets could use that as a weapon - we must warn the government.

#198: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 2:27 am

Sorry all I was out tonight and forgot I hadn't posted as I meant to before going out. Was too excited about new digital camera.

Am out tomorrow night too but should manage something.

Vikki - my eldest godson (who is older than you) called me Auntie Susie when he was little it came about from his botched attempts to say Susan. To this day he and his famly always call me Susie.
No it was one of Vikki's other qualities I was thinking of.

Day 3

‘Good morning/evening all,’ chorused Vikki and Rachel together.
‘As you can see day three got off to a bad start,’ continued Vikki. As the camera panned to camp to show a miserable looking area as the rain teemed down.
Biddy’s voice could be clearly heard whining ‘I want to go home. I miss Eugen and the kids.’
‘For goodness sake Biddy, pull yourself together,’ said Nell. ‘Remember you are a Chalet Girl not a spineless jellyfish.’ All the other ex-pupils of the school joined in on the last two words, which drew them an evil glance from Miss Wilson.
‘Oh dear,’ said Rachel. ‘Things are far from happy this morning. And they could only get worse.’
‘Yes,’ interrupted Vikki. ‘It was Jo’s turn to do the Bush Tucker Trial and we will see in a few minutes what happened after she arrived in the Bush Tucker Clearing.’
Rachel, giving Vikki a look, as she had wanted to say that, continued the link. ‘Her trial was called ‘Feed the Birds’. Before we see her doing the trial lets hear what her best friend Frieda von Ahlen has too say about Jo in the Jungle.

Frieda’s face came into view on the screen. Staring nervously at the camera Frieda began to speak, at first nervously but then with growing confidence. ‘I think Jo will do well in the jungle. She has always been a flypaper for adventures and has camped out. First when we were guides at school, then when we fled Austria. She has a large family so being cooped up in a small space with nine others will not be a problem to her. Yes with her adventurous spirit Jo will win.’

‘We will have a break now,’ said Rachel, speaking fast so she could beat Vikki to the link. ‘When we come back we will also see what happened on yesterdays Treasure Chest Trail.’
As the after break music faded the scene in camp opened up. The two chosen for the treasure hunt were Evadne and Pam Slater-Entwhistle. These two had never met, as their times at school had not coincided, so neither had anything to prove to the other. They walked along chatting as if they were on a day out in Britain then suddenly to Evadne’s shock Pam disappeared. She took two steps forward herself and suddenly found herself being raised into the air. They had stepped on camouflage nets that had closed up on them and lifted them up. Pam struggled a bit and then in her best schoolmistress voice called out, ‘Hello there please let us down.’ Of course nothing happened. In fact there was complete silence apart from the normal jungle noises of birdsong, crickets and the trees rustling in the breeze.
‘I say Pam,’ called out Evadne. ‘Perhaps this is part of the hunt, Can you see the chest there on that rope? Maybe if we let ourselves down we will get the chest too.’
‘Mmm….’ Pam considered for a moment. ‘Yes you are right. Can you find a rope inside your net?’
‘No! Oh wait a moment yes. Shall I pull on it?’
‘Yes, but slowly,’ instructed Pam.
Both ladies pulled on their ropes and their nets slowly descended to the ground. They found a third rope, which pulled the chest down. It was a moment’s work to untie it and set off back to camp with it.
Arriving back at camp the others gathered round. Anne took the envelope off the top and opened it. ‘A present from Madge or a treat from Nancy Wilmot,’ she read from the paper she took out of the envelope.
‘Oh! Madge wouldn’t send us anything nasty would she?’ Pam said.
‘Of course not,’ said Jo. ‘I vote for Madge.’
‘All in favour of Nancy hands up,’ instructed Jo.
Biddy put her hand up.
‘Madge wins then,’ said Nell.
Anne opened the part marked Madge and pulled out a framed photograph of Madge and all the children. Luckily the camera did not catch the look on Jem’s face!
Jo picked the photo up and put it in a prominent place by the fire, saying ‘Good I’m glad to see Madge, it was funny not seeing her.’
Biddy’s mutterings about it not being fair some people being allowed to see their children and others not rose a lot higher when ‘the voice’ told them they had missed out on scones jam and cream from Nancy.
Biddy went down to the stream for a sulk, Jem lay on his bed trying not to see the photo and the others just mooched around.
‘Jo to get ready for the trail,’ called ‘the voice’. ‘Please wear your swimming costume under your top and trousers.’
‘Feed the birds in a swimming costume,’ Jo said, as she got changed behind a bush. ‘I must be going to feed the ducks or something,’
As Jo walked up the path away from camp the camera pulled back to the studio.
‘Ducks,’ said Rachel with a rather evil grin. ‘What planet is this woman on! Ducks in a jungle! What next?’
‘Anyway, join us after the break and see exactly what Jo had to do,’ Vikki said with a side ways glance at Rachel still muttering to herself about ducks.
As the picture faded to the break a shot was glimpsed of Jo with a very horrified look on her face.

#199: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 2:28 am

Sorry internet cut out there and I posted twice .
So I deleted it.

#200: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 3:53 am