Holocaust spawm
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1:  Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne/Hamilton until 11 September PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 10:22 pm

KB wrote:
*suddenly very, very glad I'm already dead*

Seconding that wholeheartedly!

 

#2:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 10:47 pm

Mary-Lou looked round the study with satisfaction. This was her place, her rightful place, the one place she had always known that she would end up, and the place that was made for her. The other heads were temporary guardians, some acceptable like Hilda, some mediocre like Madge, and some frankly wrong for the position like Miss Bubb. Mary-Lou however was the supreme Headmistress of the Chalet School. Who else could there be except the one girl who summed up everything that it meant to be a Chaletian. Mary-Lou ran her fingers around the edge of the desk then sat back in the chair and rang the bell.
“Ah, Dylis isn’t it? Abi, No, I’m sure you are Dylis. Send some one to fetch the girls on this list please.”
She handed over a piece of paper to the renamed maid and waved her away.

The maid crept backwards out of the room, the domestic staff had learnt early on that it was never a good idea to turn your back on any OG, and especially this one, the One and Only. She reached the door and fumbled behind her for the door handle, keeping her eyes down she took another step backwards and took a deep breath as she began to relax. Too soon. The strident voice called her back, “Oh Dylis, I think you forgot something, your curtsey please.”
The Abi/Dylis maid dropped the paper in her fluster, and trying to pick it up and curtsey at the same time fell forward onto her nose. Mary-Lou frowned. This was not a good sign. She stood up and walked over to the hapless Abi/Dylis.
“This is how we curtsey at the Chalet School Dylis, watch carefully,”
Mary-Lou executed a perfect bob. The renamed maid copied her.
“No, like this,” Mary-Lou did it again. Abi/Dylis copied her again, and again, and again.
“This is ridiculous, a simple curtsey is all I’m asking,”
“I did it,”
“Don’t answer back, you still have not curtseyed properly. You will stand there and curtsey until I’m sure you can do it as I wish.”

Mary-Lou picked up the list of names and opening the door passed them to a junior who was passing by.
“Tell these people to report to me immediately”
The junior took the list to the senior common room, and forgetting about the booby trap opened the door and went in.
Splat, the junior was cleaved in two by the blade affixed above the door. The list fluttered to the ground and was picked up by one of the seniors, Kathy S.
“SHE wants to see some of us.”
“Which of us?” came from all corners of the room.
“Me, Rachael, Polly, Nell, and Ally”
“I suppose we had better go, will someone clear up the junior. Which one was it?” asked Rachael as she stepped carefully over the mess.
“I think it was called Pim, see if some of the other juniors will clear it up.”

The five seniors walked to the study and around the still curtseying Abi/Dylis.
“You wished to see us, Miss Trelawny?” asked Rachael.
“Not really, but I had to anyway.” A smile began to spread over the heads face as she surveyed the girls, “Why I do believe you are afraid, surely not. Come on girls, we need strong women not spineless jellyfish. I have a task for you. I have information that there is going to be trouble here shortly, an attack on our school and I need you five to help me defend my, our position.”
“Who’s going to attack us?” asked Ally bluntly.
“A terrorist group called “The Maynard Offspring”
“Jack, ah, Jack” Ally dropped into a swoon as she remembered how she enjoyed being in Jack Maynard’s Dressing Room and the fun she had there with all his clothes.
“Ally,” Mary-Lou spoke sharply, but was unable to rouse Ally from her dream of being back in Jack’s dressing room.
“Silly girl, throw her out of the window, you should be able to reach the lime pit from here,”
The other terrified seniors did as Mary-Lou directed, quelled under her gaze they did not dare do anything else. Ally landed in the middle of the pit and sank, still believing herself to be in Jack Maynard’s dressing room.

“Now, four of you, that will be enough anyway. Go down to the main gate and deploy yourselves at intervals of around 250 yards along the road. Here are some black capes to hide in. If a three wheeled hearse passes you light one of these flares. This will give me warning that the offspring are approaching and I can prepare.”

Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly went out into the rain. Splitting up they did as they were instructed, each lying down at the side of the road hidden from sight under the black capes.

Abi/Dylis was exhausted. The relentless curtseying was going on and on. Eventually she fell over yet again and this time was unable to rise.
“Oh, well, I needed a new rug,” Mary-Lou stood and admired her latest acquisition, dragging the rug into position in front of the fire, ensuring that life was extinct as she did so.

The hearse drove speedily down the lanes, headlights off so that no warning of their approach to the school would be given. They drove almost off the road, Mike believing that the road was after all just a suggested route, much like speed limits were also suggestions. As they approached the main gates they felt a bump.
“What was that?” Cecil asked Felicity
There was another bump.
“What was that?” Felicity asked Charles
There was a third bump.
“What was that?” Charles asked Con.
There was a final bump.
“What was that?” Con asked Mike.
“What? I can’t feel anything?” Mike replied as he screeched to a halt outside the main gate. They read the sign and assured that they were finally in the correct place reversed at speed over the four bumps once more and then Mike, with his foot to the floor raced forward again, over the four bumps in the road for a third and final time and gathering speed and momentum crashed through the gates and up the drive arriving in front of the house in style.


Matey was tired. The machine in the shed was taking too long to work and she couldn’t wait much longer. She stuck out her tongue to depress the button once more and somehow got her tongue caught, ripping half of it off as she tugged away.

 

#3:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 10:53 pm

00000003 - Hilda, Jem, Reg (at the end of the Xmas special, but counting in here)
00000018 - Prefects
00000004 - Joan, Gaudenz, Kathie, Nancy
00000002 - Jack and Joey
00000177 - Middles
00000012 - Mistresses on bus
00000324 - Swiss village
00000067 - Millies
00000001 - Phillipe
00000015 - Millies staff
00000038 - Platz residents
00250582 - Interlaken residents
00000111 - CS Juniors
00000732 - Tourists
00000002 - Billy and Rachel's brother
00000002 - un-named from Thrombosis
00000025 - Boy scouts from tangled knots
00000002 - Sybil and Josette bored to death
00000004 - CBBer's (KB, Adelheid, Kirsty, and Kathryn) from Yibbling
00000001 - Crashweewee
31714637 - population of Canada
00000010 - seniors electrocuted
00000003 - seniors run over
00004048 - in crashed planes
00000002 - un-named headmistresses
02903085 - population of Wales (glad you used the same source as me Carolyn! )
00000002 - Engelbert and Ermintruda
00000001 - Chloe
00000005 - MEN!
00000002 - C_Rachel and Nina washing pans
00000009 - archaeologists
00000001 - Virus
00000048 - 47 mistresses and a dog
00000097 - Sixth formers
00000264 - train passengers
00000020 - smoking related
00000002 - squashed by a large joint
00000001 - Nicci in a box
00000013 - inhaling flies
00304300 - Population of Coventry
00000001 - Bill Wilson
00000002 - Miss Lawrence & Miss Derwent
00000001 - Body under train
60180529 - Population of France
00000017 - girls whose faces didn't fit, shredded
00000002 - tongue lashed by Mary-Lou
00000001 - Xanthe, trampled and crushed by Brownies
00000004 - mistresses during "I-Spy"
00000023 - hit by Chunnel train
00000001 - Miss Smith impaled on a railway sleeper
00000001 - LisaT
00000001 - Peggy Bettany
00000002 - From Embarassment
00000001 - From Contortions
00000001 - Geoff Maynard, not ladylike
00000001 - Tourist, slain by Shakespeare
21516273 - Population of London, plus commuters, plus tourists
00000001 - Vikki, death by Baileys
00133626 - Population of Windsor
00000019 - lickle bunnies
00000001 - Vaneesa (the Maynard quad!)
00000001 - Phillipa
00000001 - Jennie
05062011 - Population of Scotland
00000001 - LISS!!!!!!
00000001 - Susan
00100734 - Population of Carlisle
00000001 - Rebecca
00000002 - Pat and Steve
00000001 - Lynne (death by Chintz)
00000001 - Mollie Bettany (death by Pot Pourri)
00000001 - Madge (Swallowed whole)
00000005 - Bettany's
00000001 - Miss Kreboppel
00000003 - Warden Green, J Coates and a generic Mistress
00000001 - Evil, slimy, obnoxious Tony Connor
00000001 - Pim, cleaved in two
00000001 - Ally swooned over Jack
00000001 - Abi/Dylis curtseyed to death
00000004 - Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly, became speedbumps

122,171,951 - GRAND TOTAL!!

 

#4:  Author: A Plot Bunnie Adventure, Location: Tucked away behind MCR PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 10:57 pm

I appear to have died, whoo hooow, I'm now free to haunt the board. That is when I can be bothered to leave this nice cosy dressing room.


Thank you Carolyn

 

#5:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:29 pm

*rubs hands in glee*

more deaths, more deaths!! Twisted Evil Evil or Very Mad

 

#6:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:54 pm

Most satisfying and original deaths! Thank you, Carolyn. I shall sleep well now! Twisted Evil

 

#7:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:55 pm

Yay, I'm dead! Right now to draft out my e-mail excusing myself from double french tomorrow lunchtime...

 

#8:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:29 am

pim wrote:
Yay, I'm dead! Right now to draft out my e-mail excusing myself from double french tomorrow lunchtime...


Do let us see it Pim. Laughing

 

#9:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:41 am

Oh yes! Please do!! I have the joys of double french every other Friday morning, which I feel is somewhat unfair. Every other Monday is double psychology!! i have never yet managed to stay awake through both hours of that...

 

#10:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:43 am

Carolyn P wrote:
pim wrote:
Yay, I'm dead! Right now to draft out my e-mail excusing myself from double french tomorrow lunchtime...


Do let us see it Pim. Laughing


Dear Dr Bowd/Professor Read.

Unfortunately due to an unfortunate accident involving myself and a door in the Chalet School Holocaust I find myself cleaved in half and dead and therefore unable to attend your classes tomorrow. Please accept my apologies and I hope to have resumed to normal by next week. Could you please forward my translation grade to the Chaletian Bulletein Board so they can all have a good laugh at how stupid I am.

Yours etc

I think it's quite convincing.

 

#11:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 1:36 am

Yay!!!!!! I am dead!!!!!! What a way to go!
Have been wondering if I was about to get the chop!
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL


Now eagerly waiting for the next installment. Maybe I'll join a few of the others and become a ghost flitting from drabble to drabble!!!! ROFL

 

#12:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:35 am

Yay! Thank you girls! Two great installments!!
Hope you had a great birthday Rachel!!!
And can we have the next bit soon please?

 

#13:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:00 am

Wonderful! Especially like the speed bumps!

More please Rachel?

 

#14:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:41 am

*giggles inanely* I'm so glad we're getting through the board! And I do like the idea of girls as speedhumps. Now to look forward to the getting-rid-of-Mary-Lou stage...

 

#15:  Author: A Plot Bunnie Adventure, Location: Tucked away behind MCR PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:49 pm

Perhaps I could help with that Wink

 

#16:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 1:38 pm

Curtseyed to death????!!!!!!!!!! What a way to die!!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#17:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 1:43 pm

Giggles in a squished sort of way. (a speed bump?)

Finds “death by curtseying” especially picturesque.

Looks forward to confrontation between the Supreme Headmistress and the Maynard Offspring! Takes bets on which will survive longest.

 

#18:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 3:57 pm

*Chants for Rachel*

More soon please!!!!

 

#19:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 5:02 pm

*rubs hands together gleefully and wonders in what horrible way Mary-Lou will die*

 

#20:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 5:29 pm

OOAOML v. The Maynard Offspring

It sounds like one of those celebrity deathmatch things! Oh and from Rachel's last bit, is Matey pregnant?!? (sorry, is she "busy")

 

#21:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 5:38 pm

Speedbumps are definately original - feeling slightly squashed now though - but liking the fact that I got killed by name - hooray!!

Can't wait for showdown between OOAO and the Offspring!

 

#22:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 7:39 pm

Sarah_K wrote:
OOAOML v. The Maynard Offspring

It sounds like one of those celebrity deathmatch things!


That's exactly what I thought, too, Sarah! And I suspect it could be just as messy!

 

#23:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:53 pm

Putting on kevlar body-armour, protective hat with face shield, and hiding behind a large rock.

 

#24:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:57 pm

*erects big flashing neon arrow and sign that reads 'she's here' behind Jennie's hiding place*

 

#25:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 9:31 pm

Jennie hiding won't help. You are already dead! Cool

 

#26:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 9:58 pm

So when do we get to read more?

 

#27:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:39 pm

Hopefully today if Rachel feels like posting, tomorrow or the day after if not!

 

#28:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:52 am

I think today sounds likely. Very Happy

 

#29:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:59 am

Rachel, I thought you'd posted, and you KNOW I'm waiting for it sonI can go to bed.

If you haven't finished it then you shouldn't be posting!!! Evil or Very Mad

 

#30:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:02 am

<snigger>

"I've been expecting you," was OOAO's greeting to the Offspring. "Do come in."
The Offspring looked at each other, suppressing minor grins, and followed Mary-Lou's cloaked figure along various passageways and corridors, up and down several staircases, in and out of various lifts, and once into a cupboard before Mary-Lou flung open the door to her study dramatically with a cry of "Velcom to mein Lair - room."
"After you," said Len politely.
"No, no, I insist. After you," said Mary-Lou with a sneer.
"She said, 'after you'" countered Con, shoving Mary-Lou from behind.
Mary-Lou staggered forwards, landing in her room with a resounding thud as cranium hit the carpet.
"See, that wasn't to difficult was it?" asked Margot as the Offspring folowed each other into the room. Mary-Lou sat up, looking ever so slightly rumpled and not a little cross.
"I AM headmistress here you know!" she snapped out at the assembled group. "And who is she?" she added, pointing at the only remaining generic mistress who was doing her best to remain discreet and nameless in the hopes of avoiding a painful death.
"Thats-" Len found a fist shoved in her mouth, preventing her from speaking.
"Don't even think about it prissy girl," sneered Generic Mistress, failing to notice she had become capitalised, one step away from a name. Len nodded mute agreement, glancing curiously at her siblings who were doing their usual 'we're bored of this meeting already' tricks. Con and Margot were rummaging in the desk drawers, exclaiming now and again as they found particularly interesting items. Mike had found the secret liquor stash that OOAO had been looking for for ages, Charles had helped himself to a book of the shelf and was engrossed in making rude origami objects that were surprisingly realistic, Felix and Felicity had embarked on one of their epic arguments that started slow and quiet but would rapidly escalate to the point where someone required medical intervention, and Cecil was playing with Steve's head.


The Bettany child the Offspring had brought with them was looking around cautiously wondering if it would be safe to make a bid for freedom. It's first idea had been to throw itself upon the mercy of OOAO, but after seeing her, it decided it was definitely in the position of twixt rock and hard place, and was dithering over what to do. As a first step however, it decided to resplit it's component parts and become once more the two people it actually was. With a loud 'ssssppppprrrrlluuuurrrcchhhh!' noise, Noel/Jackie/Whatsit and Daphne became individuals and stood looking at each other. The separation had apparently drawn no notice whatsoever, such visceral noises being common in this area of the country these days.
"Daphne, as my littlest sister, and possibly sole remaining family, I want to tell you just one thing," whispered Noel/Jackie/Whatsit.
"Yes dearest?" asked Daphne with a simper, inwardly blessing herself on her looks and good fortune.
"You're on your own!" shouted Noel/Jackie/Whatsit, leaping out the open window.
Daphne considered crying, but after peering out of the window and seeing how her brother had just flung himself to his doom by landing in a lime pit he had never even heard about, she settled for waiting to see where life took her instead.

At this point in proceddings, Cecil made an announcement.
"I'm getting married." she announced, in a very announcing manner.
"To whom?" asked OOAO at her stateliest.
"Steve," replied Cecil.
"And whom might Steve be child?" asked OOAO in her most patronising way.
"This is Steve," replied Cecil cheerfully, showing OOAO the head in the bag.
"Surely he is dead and therefore ineligible for matrimony?" OOAO was becoming more snooty by the second.
"Him being dead makes him far more eligible as far as I'm concerned," was Cecil's response. "The only good men are dead men."
"She's got a point," pointed out Generic Mistress thoughtfully.

"I cannot allow this to happen within my school," OOAO said pompously.
"Your school? Wanna bet on that?" asked Con, all aggression as always.
"Well it is mine in the context of my position of headmistress. Therefore, it is my school under these circumstances, and since all the share holders appear to be dead, and more than likely died intestate as they were complete morons when it came to real life, it is my responsibility to hold the school together until the State has decided what to do with it."
"Not a chance," replied Len. "We forged Mamma and Aunty Madge's wills years ago - the whole lot belongs to US now. That's why we're here. To claim our inheritance."
"As I claim mine," came a small voice from the back of the room. By peering round the furniture, the Offspring spotted Daphne, pale but resolute and determined to stand up for her rights.
"You have an inheritance Daphne?"
"Yes, daddy left his shares in the school to his children. As I am the only child left, all his shares come to me." Daphne was trembling with the effort of standing up to Len, as well as the pressure of having to actually speak.
"And what happens if his children were to predecease him?" asked Felicity in interest.
"Then they would pass to his sis- oh."
'Oh' was exactly right. Felicity had picked up the large stapler from Mary-Lou's desk, and proceeded to staple Daphne's mouth shut before moving on and stapling the child to a log from the basket. Once Felicity was certain that no amoun to of wriggling would release the girl from her bonds, she chucked the log on the roaring open fire, beloved by Joey and OOAO. They all stood silently watching the small child roast.

"So, where were we?"
"Peru!"
"No! Peru's gone."
"When did Peru go?"
"Don't you remember?"
"No I don't!"
"I'm sure I mentioned it earlier!"
"Bloody didn't!"
"Oh well, a bit late now I suppose, but I wiped out Peru last month."
"WHY?"
"Because of the bear thing."
"Paddington?"
"If that's what he claims to be called."
"Let me get this straight - you wiped out the whole of Peru because of a bear?"
"It could TALK!"
"It wasn't true!"
"Really?"
"Yes really! It was a children's story!"
"Oooops!"

"ANYWAY!" snapped OOAO, completely confused by this bit of by-play. "This is my school, and I say there will be no wedding between Cecil and this man Steve's head!"
Cecil began to cry. The long whingy dreary cry of a spoilt brat who can't have her own way. The cry that sounds like it has started on day one of the half term holiday and means to go on until the last day of the half term holiday. The dreary note that hardly changes, apart from in volume. The type of cry that has been known to reduce grown men to gibbering wrecks. The type of cry that-

"Oh for goodness sake, somebody call a priest!" shrieked Mary-Lou.
Cecil stopped crying and beamed round the room at all her favourite people.

The priest (Father Thomas of Norfolk) entered the room, a look of fear etched on his face. Mike had explained what was required when he fetched the man, and the priest was now wondering if perhaps they should have sent for the men in white coats instead. As soon as he clapped eyes on the collective Maynard Offspring, he understood however, and cleared his throat preparatory to performing the fastest wedding ceremony in history.

Just as reached the "I now pronounce you husband and wife" and fell to the ground with a stake plunged through his heart by Felix who was feeling neglected, the door to the study creaked open. All those within the room turned, and felt their insides plummet. Stood in the doorway was none other than Matilda.


MEANWHILE

Matey had given birth to a ten headed frog.

 

#31:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:03 am

*Giggles helplessly, having only just read Sunday's post*
Please let ML's death be particularly horrible.

 

#32:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:06 am

00000003 - Hilda, Jem, Reg (at the end of the Xmas special, but counting in here)
00000018 - Prefects
00000004 - Joan, Gaudenz, Kathie, Nancy
00000002 - Jack and Joey
00000177 - Middles
00000012 - Mistresses on bus
00000324 - Swiss village
00000067 - Millies
00000001 - Phillipe
00000015 - Millies staff
00000038 - Platz residents
00250582 - Interlaken residents
00000111 - CS Juniors
00000732 - Tourists
00000002 - Billy and Rachel's brother
00000002 - un-named from Thrombosis
00000025 - Boy scouts from tangled knots
00000002 - Sybil and Josette bored to death
00000004 - CBBer's (KB, Adelheid, Kirsty, and Kathryn) from Yibbling
00000001 - Crashweewee
31714637 - population of Canada
00000010 - seniors electrocuted
00000003 - seniors run over
00004048 - in crashed planes
00000002 - un-named headmistresses
02903085 - population of Wales (glad you used the same source as me Carolyn! )
00000002 - Engelbert and Ermintruda
00000001 - Chloe
00000005 - MEN!
00000002 - C_Rachel and Nina washing pans
00000009 - archaeologists
00000001 - Virus
00000048 - 47 mistresses and a dog
00000097 - Sixth formers
00000264 - train passengers
00000020 - smoking related
00000002 - squashed by a large joint
00000001 - Nicci in a box
00000013 - inhaling flies
00304300 - Population of Coventry
00000001 - Bill Wilson
00000002 - Miss Lawrence & Miss Derwent
00000001 - Body under train
60180529 - Population of France
00000017 - girls whose faces didn't fit, shredded
00000002 - tongue lashed by Mary-Lou
00000001 - Xanthe, trampled and crushed by Brownies
00000004 - mistresses during "I-Spy"
00000023 - hit by Chunnel train
00000001 - Miss Smith impaled on a railway sleeper
00000001 - LisaT
00000001 - Peggy Bettany
00000002 - From Embarassment
00000001 - From Contortions
00000001 - Geoff Maynard, not ladylike
00000001 - Tourist, slain by Shakespeare
21516273 - Population of London, plus commuters, plus tourists
00000001 - Vikki, death by Baileys
00133626 - Population of Windsor
00000019 - lickle bunnies
00000001 - Vaneesa (the Maynard quad!)
00000001 - Phillipa
00000001 - Jennie
05062011 - Population of Scotland
00000001 - LISS!!!!!!
00000001 - Susan
00100734 - Population of Carlisle
00000001 - Rebecca
00000002 - Pat and Steve
00000001 - Lynne (death by Chintz)
00000001 - Mollie Bettany (death by Pot Pourri)
00000001 - Madge (Swallowed whole)
00000005 - Bettany's
00000001 - Miss Kreboppel
00000003 - Warden Green, J Coates and a generic Mistress
00000001 - Evil, slimy, obnoxious Tony Connor
00000001 - Pim, cleaved in two
00000001 - Ally swooned over Jack
00000001 - Abi/Dylis curtseyed to death
00000004 - Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly, became speedbumps
00000002 - Noel/Jackie/Whatsit & Daphne
28863494 - Population of Peru
00000001 - Father Thomas

151,035,448 - GRAND TOTAL!!

 

#33:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:09 am

Thanks Rachel!

Why leave me to deal with Matilda? I'm as scared of her as Madge was??

 

#34:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:13 am

Glad to see Matilda's back, wreaking her own brand of havoc, no doubt!

 

#35:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:15 am

*Giggles helplessly again as Rachel very sneakily posted that bit while I was still recovering from the last part*
I'm sure you can deal with Matilda, Carolyn, you've been despatching people very competantly so far.

 

#36:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:47 am

I love Felicity and Felix's arguement, at least I don't think we have any CBBers in Peru do we? Nice tactics getting out of the Bettany offspring thing, Daphne should have known better than to stand up to them though!

Matey gave birth to a Question WHAT Question

 

#37:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 3:21 am

Somewhat confused about Peru. Didn't Paddington croak with the rest of London, or had he gone back to Peru for some reason? Or perhaps the objective was his Aunt Lucy back in the retirement home in Lima? Or was it merely a Maynard strategem to help unbalance ML?

Worries about escalation of violence against bears.

Wonders about Matilda's role in all this.

 

#38:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 3:52 am

*lies on floor in a limp heap, moaning weakly at long intervals, having exhausted self with hysterical laughter*

 

#39:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 6:10 am

Lesley giggling madly!!! ROFL

 

#40:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:04 am

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. *wipes tears away*

Well, I'm very glad that we've got rid of those two annoying Bettanys (nice save, by the way!), and really what else did Father Thomas expect?

 

#41:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:17 am

what a lovely episode to read with my first coffee of the day! I'm just wondering who, if anyone will be alive at the end. Twisted Evil

 

#42:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:23 am

I can't help feeling that our esteemed authors may survive. I can imagine them coming out of the shadows to kill the last surviving Maynard or whoever it is...

 

#43:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:19 am

Vikki wrote:
*lies on floor in a limp heap, moaning weakly at long intervals, having exhausted self with hysterical laughter*


*joins Vikki in a similar posture*

 

#44:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:28 am

argh! *tries to pull self together, fails miserably and collapses in library to amusement of onlookers*

Cruelty! But more please!

 

#45:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:59 pm

Abi wrote:
Vikki wrote:
*lies on floor in a limp heap, moaning weakly at long intervals, having exhausted self with hysterical laughter*


*joins Vikki in a similar posture*


*prods Vikki and Abi with toe, still giggling at random intervals*

 

#46:  Author: A Plot Bunnie Adventure, Location: Tucked away behind MCR PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 4:25 pm

Yay I have company in the Lime Pit. I hope Noel/Jackie/Whatsit will play with me!!

 

#47:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 5:37 pm

I'm not sure he will, Ally. He probably won't be able to see you because he will still be sure that he's alive.

 

#48:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:20 pm

*trots off to look for Carolyn and the next installment*

 

#49:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:25 pm

*calls after Vikki the hope that she finds her*

 

#50:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 10:04 pm

*returns dejected*

 

#51:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:20 pm

The door banged as it hit the wall and the noise reverberated around the room. There was silence as everyone in the room realised WHO/WHAT stood there. Matilda! They ALL knew who she was. The Offspring had been hoping that Mary-Lou would have dealt with her, whilst Mary-Lou had been trying to pretend that she didn’t exist. Even Fluffy had slithered away quickly when he smelt her coming near.

There was a sudden scurry to the windows, and the other door. The argument about the future of the school was forgotten as they all tried to get away from Matilda. The window became invisible as they all tried to reach the fire escape at once, and the connecting doorway into the office expanded as four people tried to make their way through it at once. The Generic Mistress, having already been capitalised, was hopeful for a moment as Len approached her.
“I need you,” Len said looking at the plump form.
“”
“Don’t speak, we haven’t given you a part yet. I’m going to drop you from the bottom of the fire escape and you can cushion our fall,”
“”
Len thumped her in the stomach, robbing the poor creature of the power of speech and then unceremoniously dropped her onto the ground below.
“Aim for the stomach everyone, and you should bounce enough to be safe. If you miss, hard luck you should have been more careful.”
With this Len jumped and landed on the Generic Mistress, winding the woman for a second time. Con, Margot, Charles, Mike, Felix, Felicity and Cecil followed her, all landing safely. All that is except Cecil who didn’t take aim before launching out and overshot the Generic Mistress, landing in the septic tank and drowning in the effulent. “That’s what happens if you don’t look before you leap,” commented Margot.
“Stop with the morals, you’re not in the blasted nunnery now,” complained Charles.
“Shut up yourself, you liked visiting me often enough,”
“Shut up both of you. We need to get back inside and regroup somewhere, Mary-Lou will take some beating.”

The Off spring wondered off, looking for a window they could smash and enter through. They could have walked back in through the open door, but considered that to be poor form, and worse, not enough fun. The Generic Mistress coughed, and realised that she was about to die, alone, the force of landing on the concrete had broke her neck, and then 7 hefty Maynards all landing on her stomach had finished her off.
“”, she tried to speak. Nothing came out.
““, she tried again, and then as everything faded to a black mist she used her last remaining energy to force out a whisper,
“Gene, my name is Ge…” she trailed off and died.

Meanwhile in the school Mary-Lou had also managed to escape Matilda, slamming the connecting door and locking it. She then had the foresight to creep round and lock the door from the study to the corridor, thus containing Matilda, for a short time at least. The she went a run to try and secure the main door before the Offspring could enter through it. This was pointless as they had already ignored it, but it made her feel more in control to lock a door so she did. Then she went to the staff room and told the assembled Old Girls to brace themselves for war. She sent a group down to the kitchens to forage for supplies and then split the other OG’s up into small battalions. She supplied each with barbed wire, wood, nails, hammers, long iron spikes and numerous other useful devices to help them build barricades and with the staffroom as a central base they cordoned off an area of the school as their base of operations.

The Maynard Offspring were taking similar steps, having chosen the south wing, which housed the labs and the Dom sci rooms as their base. They were pleased to discover that the labs had been well stocked and Charles stroked some of the chemical bottles lovingly. Felix and Felicity meanwhile were engaged in another of their arguments, which as usual everyone ignored.
“Can.” from Felix,
“Can’t,” from Felicity
“Can,”
“Can’t,”
“Can,”
“Can’t,”
“Can’t,”
“Can,”
Can’t,”
“Can, and I jolly well will,” said Felicity pressing the huge red button in the middle of the wall.
They watched wide eyed as the floor and ceiling slid apart, desks sliding neatly together and a huge missile with a sharp pointy bit on the front rose out of the ground and then blasted off into space.
“The Telescope,” shouted Felix
“Me first,” countered Felicity
“Me,”
“Me,”
“Me,”
“Me,”
“You pressed the button, my turn,”
Felix and Felicity turned to the large telescope to find that neither of them would have first turn as Len was stood there, one eye to the eyepiece, the other fixed on them.
“Ha, that serves the nasty green aliens right,”
“What does?” asked Con
“That missile just landed spike down in the middle of Alpha Centuri and the whole planet popped like a balloon.”
“Doesn’t it take a little longer to get there?” queried Mike
“Only if it’s you driving,”

The two groups dug in and entrenched themselves for battle. Both knew that it was going to be a long affair. Both were determined to win. Both were scared of Matilda. Both had forgotten the girls. The current generation of Chalet Girls. One enterprising middle, had watched the preparations for war with glee. This particular middle thrived when things were tense. She ran back to the middles common room in glee, “Guess what’s happening?”
“Are you going to tell us Esmerelda, or are we going to take all term to get it out of you?”
“Come on Ellie, tell us the story,”
“It’s getting very tense out there,” began Ellie,
“It always is when you have anything to do with it Ellie,”
“What’s happening Esmerelda?”
“There is a three wheeled hearse outside, barbed wire in the corridor, a Matilda like noise coming from the study and worst of all,” Esmerelda paused for effect
“Yes Ellie, do tell us the rest”
“Shall we chant at you Esmerelda?”
“There is a rumour that the Maynards have been seen, here, in the school!”
This news had all the effect Esmerelda could wish for. The tension level rose to an all time high and Ellie could feel the air begin to vibrate as the tension became almost visible.
“There’s something else as well,” Esmerelda added, feeling the blood begin to race as the tension grew even more. The excitement was beginning to make her veins stand out, yet her friends wanted more.
“What’s happened Ellie?”
“Esmerelda do tell us and stop playing around”
“Wellll,” EBD-Herself stopped, and felt the tension growing to almost unbearable heights
“Esmerelda, pleeeaaase,”
“Ellie if you have anything more, please let us know now,”
Esmerelda took a deep breath, “Mary-Lou has changed her title, she now wants to be known as...” she toped again, savouring the tension she was creating.
“Ellie!” the screams echoed round the room
“The Supreme Headmistress,” Esmerelda finished triumphantly. The tension in the room had never been higher, and as Ellie fed on it. It satiated her, it did more, it ran through her veins like electricity, it reached her heart and squeezed. Her face turned red and blood began to drip from her nose, from her eyes and then to exit through every pore until the tension had pushed all the blood from her body leaving the poor girl like a limp dishrag on the floor.

Realising they were to get no more the girls dispersed to their legitimate and otherwise tasks. In one corner of the room the single middle who had come back from Switzerland took a pencil and looking at the back of a photograph of a Christmas tree fairy used a magnifying glass to find a space to make another tick in amidst a multitude of other ticks.

Matey had only a single clump of hair left, but somehow had still managed to get head lice. The itching was slowly taking over all her thoughts. Even the mastitis caused by feeding ten heads was receding under the ever present itch.

 

#52:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:26 pm

00000003 - Hilda, Jem, Reg (at the end of the Xmas special, but counting in here)
00000018 - Prefects
00000004 - Joan, Gaudenz, Kathie, Nancy
00000002 - Jack and Joey
00000177 - Middles
00000012 - Mistresses on bus
00000324 - Swiss village
00000067 - Millies
00000001 - Phillipe
00000015 - Millies staff
00000038 - Platz residents
00250582 - Interlaken residents
00000111 - CS Juniors
00000732 - Tourists
00000002 - Billy and Rachel's brother
00000002 - un-named from Thrombosis
00000025 - Boy scouts from tangled knots
00000002 - Sybil and Josette bored to death
00000004 - CBBer's (KB, Adelheid, Kirsty, and Kathryn) from Yibbling
00000001 - Crashweewee
31714637 - population of Canada
00000010 - seniors electrocuted
00000003 - seniors run over
00004048 - in crashed planes
00000002 - un-named headmistresses
02903085 - population of Wales (glad you used the same source as me Carolyn! )
00000002 - Engelbert and Ermintruda
00000001 - Chloe
00000005 - MEN!
00000002 - C_Rachel and Nina washing pans
00000009 - archaeologists
00000001 - Virus
00000048 - 47 mistresses and a dog
00000097 - Sixth formers
00000264 - train passengers
00000020 - smoking related
00000002 - squashed by a large joint
00000001 - Nicci in a box
00000013 - inhaling flies
00304300 - Population of Coventry
00000001 - Bill Wilson
00000002 - Miss Lawrence & Miss Derwent
00000001 - Body under train
60180529 - Population of France
00000017 - girls whose faces didn't fit, shredded
00000002 - tongue lashed by Mary-Lou
00000001 - Xanthe, trampled and crushed by Brownies
00000004 - mistresses during "I-Spy"
00000023 - hit by Chunnel train
00000001 - Miss Smith impaled on a railway sleeper
00000001 - LisaT
00000001 - Peggy Bettany
00000002 - From Embarassment
00000001 - From Contortions
00000001 - Geoff Maynard, not ladylike
00000001 - Tourist, slain by Shakespeare
21516273 - Population of London, plus commuters, plus tourists
00000001 - Vikki, death by Baileys
00133626 - Population of Windsor
00000019 - lickle bunnies
00000001 - Vaneesa (the Maynard quad!)
00000001 - Phillipa
00000001 - Jennie
05062011 - Population of Scotland
00000001 - LISS!!!!!!
00000001 - Susan
00100734 - Population of Carlisle
00000001 - Rebecca
00000002 - Pat and Steve
00000001 - Lynne (death by Chintz)
00000001 - Mollie Bettany (death by Pot Pourri)
00000001 - Madge (Swallowed whole)
00000005 - Bettany's
00000001 - Miss Kreboppel
00000003 - Warden Green, J Coates and a generic Mistress
00000001 - Evil, slimy, obnoxious Tony Connor
00000001 - Pim, cleaved in two
00000001 - Ally swooned over Jack
00000001 - Abi/Dylis curtseyed to death
00000004 - Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly, became speedbumps
00000002 - Noel/Jackie/Whatsit & Daphne
28863494 - Population of Peru
00000001 - Father Thomas
00000001 - Cecil drowned in effulent
00000001 - Gene used as a trampoline
00100001 - population of Alpha Centuri
00000001 - Ellie/Esmerelda

151,135,452 - GRAND TOTAL!!
_________________

 

#53:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:31 pm

*falling off chair giggling* Hysterical Carolyn, well done!!

How did you calculate the population of Alpha Centuri?

 

#54:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:51 pm

*dries tears of mirth*

 

#55:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:52 pm

*verging on near hysteria with laughing* Can't wait for more battle! *resumes giggling*

 

#56:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:57 pm

*wonders if a sharp slap is necessary* Can't have hysterics you know! Very bad for you, this laughing malarky!

 

#57:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:01 am

Those poor little aliens, what had they ever done to anyone? Crying or Very sad

So we now have the Maynard Offspring v. the Supreme Headmistress with occasional Chalet School Girls and of course the ever present Matilda (who I'm terrified of).

Looks like there could be fireworks Very Happy

 

#58:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:03 am

Sarah_K wrote:
Those poor little aliens, what had they ever done to anyone? Crying or Very sad

So we now have the Maynard Offspring v. the Supreme Headmistress with occasional Chalet School Girls and of course the ever present Matilda (who I'm terrified of).

Looks like there could be fireworks Very Happy


Aliens, they've been spying on the CBB to find out about life on Earth.

Fireworks, wouldn't fireworks be a little tame?

 

#59:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:05 am

Amazing! Are there any other ways of killing people left? Are we building up for a grand finale? Is anywhere safe? Were there any CBBers on Alpha Centauri?

*Goes laughing to bed!*

 

#60:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:12 am

Quote:
Aliens, they've been spying on the CBB to find out about life on Earth.

Well if they were watching this thread then they'd have all killed each other in various amusing ways already and therefore got their own punishment Very Happy

Anyway it depends what you do with the fireworks exactly...

 

#61:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:15 am

*wonders what could possibly be done with fireworks*

 

#62:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:16 am

Sarah K wrote:
Anyway it depends what you do with the fireworks exactly...


<snigger> it does indeed Sarah K, it does indeed . . .<snigger>

 

#63:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:17 am

Now Pim, do you really want to know about the fireworks....??? Shocked

 

#64:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:24 am

Yes I do indeed. I'm all up for more blood, guts, gore and mayhem. Especially if fireworks are involved. I've had a very bad evening.

 

#65:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:27 am

Aww. *sends huggles* If it's any consolation, I'm going to be 18 in 15 mins and I may be very violently sick before then... And it's not alcohol-induced!!! *sends more huggles as huggles are GOOD*

 

#66:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:27 am

*huggles Pim*

 

#67:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:39 am

Thank you Very Happy

Happy birthday when it comes Rosie Very Happy Oh to be 18 again...

 

#68:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:46 am

Happy Birthday for Rosie! birthday cake

Thank you Carolyn - hysterical! ROFL

More please!

 

#69:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:47 am

*huggles Rosie too!*

 

#70:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 1:41 am

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL



Thanx! ROFL

 

#71:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 3:46 am

Have just caught up with about 3 days mayhem. Absolutley fantastic!!!!

 

#72:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 4:26 am

*Lays on the floor like a limp dish rag - exhausted with giggling*
*Revives briefly to question the sneaky reference to EBD-herself. Sorry, it's not me.*

 

#73:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:57 am

*shrieks with laughter* That was superb! I love the constant squabbling! So we're going to lose the Maynard Offspring one by one now, are we?

 

#74:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:07 pm

Ellie wrote:

*Revives briefly to question the sneaky reference to EBD-herself. Sorry, it's not me.*


I had to include it, the changing between names was such an opportunity to slip that in as well.

 

#75:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 4:16 pm

*laughs hysterically and raucously*

 

#76:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 6:18 pm

*starts a chant!!!!*

 

#77:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 6:20 pm

*joins in the chant which for some reason she is doing to an Iron Maiden choon*

 

#78:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 6:54 pm

*joins chant but without the Iron Maiden tune*

 

#79:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:08 pm

Probably a good idea. *Gives up on the Iron Maiden* (I only know one anyway)

 

#80:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:45 pm

None at all today?? Is it Rachael's turn??

*joins in chant*

 

#81:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:49 pm

No, it's Rachel's.

 

#82:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:50 pm

And when is she likely to post?

 

#83:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:53 pm

Sometime this year I would imagine.

 

#84:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:53 pm

Carolyn P wrote:
No, it's Rachel's.


Sorry getting my spellings wriong again... Embarassed

Well can she post soon please!

 

#85:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:54 pm

Carolyn P wrote:
Sometime this year I would imagine.


We're already half-way through the second month. She'd better get on with it!

 

#86:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 8:00 pm

*shouts loudly* Rachel!!

 

#87:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 11:31 pm

Get on with it witch!!!! Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
The EBD thing was VERY naughty, Carolyn!!!

 

#88:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 11:34 pm

Are you home, Pat? Lots to catch up on but where's Rachel?

Come on, Rachel. I need my beauty sleep!

 

#89:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:17 am

Yes come on Rachel I want to sleep as well! Twisted Evil

Pat glad you loved the EBD comment. Does that mean it's you? Twisted Evil

 

#90:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:19 am

Matilda wandered disconsolately round and round OOAOHM's study, wailig loudly the whole time. When she eventually realised nobody was going to come to her rescue, she almost panicked, wondering if her fate would be to starve to death. As she circled the room once more, she spotted a little pink handbag that had been dropped in the hasty departure of it's owner. Sniffing cautiously, Matilda realised there was food in the bag. She opened the bag, saw with delight the decapitated head in the bag, and joyously began eating the brains.

Mary-Lou had bunkered in. She knew she and the Old Girls Army had a strong position, and she was also far more familiar with the layout of the school than the Maynard Offspring; an advantage she planned to use. The Offspring were having a whale of a time in the science lab, making things go bang with startling rapidity, and laughing as various pieces of equipment were blown up or melted.

The students still in the common room heard the noises, and realised the die was cast. It was up to each individual to decide now where her allegiance lay. Several of the girls swithered, prepared to be swayed by arguments by advocates of either side, but eventually the room was split between those in favour of Mary-Lou, and those in favour of the Offspring. All bar two. One of these "undecideds" was the middle, who preferred to keep out of everything and remain neutral in the hopes of keeping up her markings on the back of her photos. The other "undecided" was Rosie. She had been swithering backwards and forwards in favour of first one group then the other. As soon as she decided she was all for the Offspring, OOAO's advocates would make a cunning argument which Rosie was more inclined to, and then the Offspring's supporters would once more begin swaying her. At last, when both groups were completely fed up of someone being such a jellyfish and unable to commit, someone from each camp grabbed one of Rosie's arms and pulled. A tug-of-war was deemed the fairest means of helping Rosie decide whch group was for her. Unfortunately, schoolgirls being schoolgirls, they didn't realise how rough they were until after Rosie had ripped down the middle.
"A mascot!" cried Kate, wishing she had been as undecided so she could have been the person killed.
Both groups hoisted their half Rosie's up high, and waving the corpse remnants as a banner, they marched off to find their respective camps.

Mary-Lou observed the hoard of girls scurrying towards her with delight, and peeled back the barricade to let them in. Kate amongst them, they hurried to finds makeshift weapons, and realised they had let themselves in for a real treat as Mary-Lou began issuing instructions on "How to use a butter knife as an effective weapon in times of war".

The other group, following the sound of explosions, made their way towards the science lab. As they entered the corridor leading to the lab, they realised there had been only one flaw in their support of the Offspring. The Offspring took no prisoners. The Offspring needed no additional support. The Offspring annhiliated all forty eight girls who had come to offer themselves as warriors. The corridor was filled with smoke and the stench of roasting flesh as more and more home made ballisitc missiles were fried into the twitching bodies of the school girls.
At last Len ordered the Offspring to stop firing in order to let the smoke clear a little.

Felix and Felicity were becoming exceedingly bored.
"I'm more bored than you!"
"No you're not."
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"SHUTTTTTTTTUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" screeched Con, slapping both of them hard round the head. "Just go over there and touch NOTHING!" she added, pointing over to the workbench which contained nothing more dangerous than a computer. Within a few minutes a low keyed argument sprang up between Felix and Felicity once more.
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"I give in!" shouted Margot. "WHAT could you do?"
"Hack into the Pentagon and order a strike against China." replied Felicity.
"You couldn't!" said Margot.
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Bet we could!"
"Bet we could too!"
"Prove it," drawled Mike.
So they did. And they could.

Mary-Lou was becomng very cross with her new assistants. "No, no, no, no, no!" she cried. "Push in, twist, THEN pull back! Not in, out then twist! For goodness sake - call yourselves murderers!"
"Ummm, no actually we don't!" said Kate, determined to rouse the wrath of the HM in order to be killed brutally, gorily and messily.
"Send that child to bed," commanded OOAOML, waving a hand vaguely in Kate's direction.
Much to her annoyance, Kate was dispatched off to bed with a mug of hot milk and orders not to get up until she was given permission.

Matilda finished her snack and then began wailing again. All she wanted was to get out of the study. Finally deciding that nobody was going to let her out, she stalked over to the window, and jumped, landing on Gene's body before marching off round to the smashed window. She climbed in through the window, and began creeping along the corridors. The haze of smoke was still thick in the air, which helped to conceal Matilda as she moved towards the hall.



MEANWHILE

Matey had developed thrush.

 

#91:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:23 am

00000003 - Hilda, Jem, Reg (at the end of the Xmas special, but counting in here)
00000018 - Prefects
00000004 - Joan, Gaudenz, Kathie, Nancy
00000002 - Jack and Joey
00000177 - Middles
00000012 - Mistresses on bus
00000324 - Swiss village
00000067 - Millies
00000001 - Phillipe
00000015 - Millies staff
00000038 - Platz residents
00250582 - Interlaken residents
00000111 - CS Juniors
00000732 - Tourists
00000002 - Billy and Rachel's brother
00000002 - un-named from Thrombosis
00000025 - Boy scouts from tangled knots
00000002 - Sybil and Josette bored to death
00000004 - CBBer's (KB, Adelheid, Kirsty, and Kathryn) from Yibbling
00000001 - Crashweewee
31714637 - population of Canada
00000010 - seniors electrocuted
00000003 - seniors run over
00004048 - in crashed planes
00000002 - un-named headmistresses
02903085 - population of Wales (glad you used the same source as me Carolyn! )
00000002 - Engelbert and Ermintruda
00000001 - Chloe
00000005 - MEN!
00000002 - C_Rachel and Nina washing pans
00000009 - archaeologists
00000001 - Virus
00000048 - 47 mistresses and a dog
00000097 - Sixth formers
00000264 - train passengers
00000020 - smoking related
00000002 - squashed by a large joint
00000001 - Nicci in a box
00000013 - inhaling flies
00304300 - Population of Coventry
00000001 - Bill Wilson
00000002 - Miss Lawrence & Miss Derwent
00000001 - Body under train
60180529 - Population of France
00000017 - girls whose faces didn't fit, shredded
00000002 - tongue lashed by Mary-Lou
00000001 - Xanthe, trampled and crushed by Brownies
00000004 - mistresses during "I-Spy"
00000023 - hit by Chunnel train
00000001 - Miss Smith impaled on a railway sleeper
00000001 - LisaT
00000001 - Peggy Bettany
00000002 - From Embarassment
00000001 - From Contortions
00000001 - Geoff Maynard, not ladylike
00000001 - Tourist, slain by Shakespeare
21516273 - Population of London, plus commuters, plus tourists
00000001 - Vikki, death by Baileys
00133626 - Population of Windsor
00000019 - lickle bunnies
00000001 - Vaneesa (the Maynard quad!)
00000001 - Phillipa
00000001 - Jennie
05062011 - Population of Scotland
00000001 - LISS!!!!!!
00000001 - Susan
00100734 - Population of Carlisle
00000001 - Rebecca
00000002 - Pat and Steve
00000001 - Lynne (death by Chintz)
00000001 - Mollie Bettany (death by Pot Pourri)
00000001 - Madge (Swallowed whole)
00000005 - Bettany's
00000001 - Miss Kreboppel
00000003 - Warden Green, J Coates and a generic Mistress
00000001 - Evil, slimy, obnoxious Tony Connor
00000001 - Pim, cleaved in two
00000001 - Ally swooned over Jack
00000001 - Abi/Dylis curtseyed to death
00000004 - Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly, became speedbumps
00000002 - Noel/Jackie/Whatsit & Daphne
28863494 - Population of Peru
00000001 - Father Thomas
00000001 - Cecil drowned in effulent
00000001 - Gene used as a trampoline
00100001 - population of Alpha Centuri
00000001 - Ellie/Esmerelda
00000001 - Rosie
00000048 - Schoolgirls
1294629555 - China

1,445,765,056 - GRAND TOTAL!!

 

#92:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:25 am

Well up to standard, Rachel Very Happy Very Happy I don;t know how you and Carolyn keep it up.

I love the way you so casually dispensed with China!

 

#93:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:26 am

Greatb Rachel. I think I can see clearly now where I will be going with the next episode.

 

#94:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:27 am

Aargh - I'd totally forgotten about the middle and her photos!
Oh well, so much more has happened since then.
Brilliant episode Rachel, and we're not wanting for deaths this time.

 

#95:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:33 am

Fantastic! Lots and lots of lovely death. Very Happy

 

#96:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:35 am

I love Felix and Felicity so much, they've wiped out Peru and China with no help from the others Very Happy Twisted Evil

New deathmatch pair:
Matilda v. The Middle with the Photos

 

#97:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:36 am

Ellie wrote:
Aargh - I'd totally forgotten about the middle and her photos!
Oh well, so much more has happened since then.


Not really I included her yesterday. Although since you had just been killed at the time I suppose you could be forgiven for overlooking that.

There is actually a continuing story here you know folks, and a very sad and moral story it is too. Crying or Very sad

 

#98:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:45 am

Carolyn is right you know - we have spent hours weeping and gnashing our teeth over the tragedy we are imparting to you all.

Carolyn, I think perhaps we should stop telling them this tale; the trauma is obviously affecting their memories.

 

#99:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:47 am

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Please don't stop. *looks appealing* Please? I need my dose of blood, guts, gore and mayhem.

 

#100:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:59 am

Rachel I do worry that they may be enjoying this sorry tale, instead of learning from it and grieving over the unfortunate loss of life entailed in it's telling.

 

#101:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 1:06 am

Exactly. Instead of reading respectfully and offering condolences for those poor souls who have passed on, they appear to relish each unfortunate incident and look forward to the prospect of more.

I'm sure it's an unhealthy attitude.

 

#102:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 1:20 am

Crikey! China went quietly! Laughing

 

#103:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 1:53 am

Hee hee hee!!!!!! ROFL ROFL

*eagerly awaiting next episode, but may go to bed whilst doing so as now tired and v cold!*

 

#104:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:28 am

Wish I had that luxury Polly!

 

#105:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 3:03 am

Carolyn P wrote:
Ellie wrote:
Aargh - I'd totally forgotten about the middle and her photos!
Oh well, so much more has happened since then.


Not really I included her yesterday. Although since you had just been killed at the time I suppose you could be forgiven for overlooking that.

There is actually a continuing story here you know folks, and a very sad and moral story it is too. Crying or Very sad


Sorry - I don't think it was much being killed, more the effect of being accused of being EBD

 

#106:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 6:15 am

Carolyn, Rachel you are both so correct - I have spent hours agonising over every episode of violence, deploring the casual way everyone seemed to greet each new depiction of murder and mayhem. I am learning from each epistle about the need in this world for love, tolerance and understanding.









































*Lesley you are such a LIAR! Twisted Evil *

 

#107:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 8:34 am

Sarah_K wrote:
New deathmatch pair:
Matilda v. The Middle with the Photos


No contest. Matilda wins.

 

#108:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:35 am

Excellent Rachel - getting china so quickly really boosted the total!!

Um, the Kate that has been sent to bed - which one of us is it (somehow has a strange feeling that it may well be me) *sigh*


Oh well, carolyn, it's half term, you can't be that busy..........where's the next bit??

 

#109:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:44 am

Yes, it's you that's been sent to bed Kate.

Next episode will most likely be late tonight as I've been given 5 mins now and told D needs the computer for the rest of the day. Still I have lots of ideas, just need to decide who...

 

#110:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:46 am

*applauds the sending of Kate to bed*

And thank you for the warning, Carolyn...

 

#111:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:46 am

Oh. I seem to be dead... You killed me ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! *thinks* Does this mean I don't have to be old now?

 

#112:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:50 am

No, dear, you may remain a child. Happy now?

 

#113:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:56 am

Yeth, t'ank oo.

 

#114:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:40 pm

Looking forward to the next murderous episode - and yes, I'm enjoying every moment!!

 

#115:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:05 pm

I'm on the edge of my seat in eager anticipation. Oops, too far on the edge...

 

#116:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 4:16 pm

Pim, take an order mark for tilting, please. Next time, it will be a Head's report, and you don't want that, do you?

 

#117:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 8:11 pm

Oh, oh, oh!!
Love the casual wiping out of China!!!
More please!!!!!

 

#118:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 8:13 pm

Jennie wrote:
Pim, take an order mark for tilting, please. Next time, it will be a Head's report, and you don't want that, do you?


B-b-but I only do it because my room's so small that I can't fall off my chair as the bed's in the way.

Oh okay then, I'll stop I've had too many near misses recently. Very Happy

Actually, I don't want a head's report either *wibbles at prospect*

 

#119:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:42 pm

Since I found this half way down page 2, do I take it you have all lost interest and don't want me to add hundreds of millions to the body count tonight?

 

#120:  Author: Guest,  PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:49 pm

*howls*

Bu-but Carolyn, we were only heeding your warning about enjoying the deaths too much! *innocently*.

If you care at all about our moral development, you will write more holocaust Wink

 

#121:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 11:07 pm

I suppose it is my moral duty isn't it?



Kate lay in bed looking at the ceiling. This was boring, in fact it was Boring with a capital B, no, it was B O R I N G ! She could hear the occasional scream, the occasional gunshot and the occasional explosion, but she was shut out of all of it. “Why can’t I die like everyone else,” she thought, “ ‘snot fair”
Her heart began to beat a little quicker in hope and anticipation however when the door was pushed open and the figure of Matilda was seen silhouetted in the doorway. Kate gave a little squeak of mock fear as Matilda crept closer.

In the staff room the Supreme Headmistress was taking stock. Her troops were in good heart, enjoying the break from routine with its forays into death, destruction and mayhem, but Mary-Lou was not about to let the war be an excuse for standards to drop.
“Have you marked yesterday’s middles prep on the uses of towels on the battlefield?” she asked Barbara Chester.
“No, I got caught up in the back stair skirmish,” replied that lady, fully expecting this to be an acceptable excuse.
“That’s not good enough, this is a school and the girls won’t learn if we don’t do our job properly, I’m afraid my dear you will have to go.” Saying these words had the desired effect and Barbara disappeared in a puff of orange smoke.
“Hey, you can’t do that to my sister,” began Nancy Chester, but got no further as the Supreme Head shot her a withering glance that resulted in her becoming withered and dead. Mary-Lou threw her on the fire where she burned well before turning to look at the other Chesters, Janice and Beth. They tried to look as inconspicuous as possible, but this was no use, Mary-Lou had decided to take no risks and these two seeing Mary-Lou look at them decided not to brave ‘the look’ and took the short cut of throwing themselves directly on the fire.

Kate allowed herself a delicious shiver as Matilda made her way slowly through the dormitory getting ever closer.

The offspring had been having great fun based in the labs and dommy sci rooms. They had allowed Charles to make some of his ‘special’ biscuits using items taken from both the labs and the kitchen. Con had ‘walked’ at night to leave these at strategic points round the school, and the following day the offspring watched with glee as 27 assorted people from the other side disappeared into toilets, never to return as their insides shot out and down into the toilet. Poohed to death.

Matilda was tweaking back the curtains in every cubicle and Kate perched on the end of her bed waiting, enjoying the sensation of the shivers running up and down her spine, the faint sweat that was breaking out on her forehead and the increased adrenaline she could feel pumping through her body. She knew she was alone in the dorm, all the other occupants had long since expired in one way or another and Kate had eagerly been waiting her turn.


“Can”
“Cannot”
“Can”
“Cannot”
“Can, no returns”
“Cannot, I was touching wood, no returns”
“Thrrrrr” Felicity blew a raspberry at Felix and began elbowing him out of the way at the keyboard. They knew that China had gone, but Felicity was sure they could get the Pentagon to fire on the USA as well. Felix maintained that they might be American, but someone would have thought to build a failsafe in there somewhere. Their verbal badinage changed into a shoving and elbowing game as they struggled for control of the keyboard, Felicity finally gaining control by spitting on the keyboard so that Felix wouldn’t touch it. It took her exactly 17 keystrokes before she turned to Felix with a triumphant look on her face, “Told you I could make them do it,” she said smugly.
“Did not”
“Did”
“Did not”
“Did”
“Did not”
“Did”
“Did not”
“Did”
“Did not”
“Did”
“Shut up you two, we can all see what you’ve done, but while wiping out America may be good, it’s won’t get HER out of here will it,”
“Will”
“Won’t”
“Will”
“Won’t”
“Will”
“Won’t”
“Will”
“Won’t”
Len looked at them threateningly, “If I hear any more silly arguments from you I’ll leave you out for Matilda.” This shut the pair up and they joined the day’s war council.

Matilda twitched back one curtain and seeing what was inside decided to enter. Kate watched wondering what was about to happen.

The solitary middle with the photo’s had been busy. She stapled a piece of foolscap paper to each of her photo’s but was still struggling to make room for the ticks as the battle for the school escalated. This was important to her however and she persevered with it, taking infinite pains to ensure that each and every death was recorded.

A bear, missing a nose and with an ear that had been sewed back on rather inexpertly, but a bear nonetheless. Matilda dragged it from under the bed, the bear being rather large and went on to see what else she could find. The next cubicle proved to contain another bear, and finally from the cubicle next to Kate’s she took a third. Kate watched with mounting interest as Matilda took a jar of Warden Green sauce and poured it liberally over the three bears that Kate now recognised as Tom, Honeycomb and Pogo. She watched in fascination as Matilda consumed the entire three bears before licking her lips and rising gracefully from her seat on the floor and heading for the door. Kate suddenly realised that Matilda was actually going to ignore her, and desperate she snatched the jar off the floor and poured the remnants of the Warden Green sauce over herself before shouting, “What about me,” but Matilda did not even twitch as she carried on walking leaving Kate in the dorm, still alive.

Matey itched at both ends of her foreshortened body and had to do something to relieve one of the itches. Taking a small bottle from her pocket she rubbed the lotion into the patch of hair with the lice. This was unfortunate as the lice were immune to that particular lotion, but Matey wasn’t and the fumes gave her an asthma attack.

 

#122:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 11:15 pm

00000003 - Hilda, Jem, Reg (at the end of the Xmas special, but counting in here)
00000018 - Prefects
00000004 - Joan, Gaudenz, Kathie, Nancy
00000002 - Jack and Joey
00000177 - Middles
00000012 - Mistresses on bus
00000324 - Swiss village
00000067 - Millies
00000001 - Phillipe
00000015 - Millies staff
00000038 - Platz residents
00250582 - Interlaken residents
00000111 - CS Juniors
00000732 - Tourists
00000002 - Billy and Rachel's brother
00000002 - un-named from Thrombosis
00000025 - Boy scouts from tangled knots
00000002 - Sybil and Josette bored to death
00000004 - CBBer's (KB, Adelheid, Kirsty, and Kathryn) from Yibbling
00000001 - Crashweewee
31714637 - population of Canada
00000010 - seniors electrocuted
00000003 - seniors run over
00004048 - in crashed planes
00000002 - un-named headmistresses
02903085 - population of Wales (glad you used the same source as me Carolyn! )
00000002 - Engelbert and Ermintruda
00000001 - Chloe
00000005 - MEN!
00000002 - C_Rachel and Nina washing pans
00000009 - archaeologists
00000001 - Virus
00000048 - 47 mistresses and a dog
00000097 - Sixth formers
00000264 - train passengers
00000020 - smoking related
00000002 - squashed by a large joint
00000001 - Nicci in a box
00000013 - inhaling flies
00304300 - Population of Coventry
00000001 - Bill Wilson
00000002 - Miss Lawrence & Miss Derwent
00000001 - Body under train
60180529 - Population of France
00000017 - girls whose faces didn't fit, shredded
00000002 - tongue lashed by Mary-Lou
00000001 - Xanthe, trampled and crushed by Brownies
00000004 - mistresses during "I-Spy"
00000023 - hit by Chunnel train
00000001 - Miss Smith impaled on a railway sleeper
00000001 - LisaT
00000001 - Peggy Bettany
00000002 - From Embarassment
00000001 - From Contortions
00000001 - Geoff Maynard, not ladylike
00000001 - Tourist, slain by Shakespeare
21516273 - Population of London, plus commuters, plus tourists
00000001 - Vikki, death by Baileys
00133626 - Population of Windsor
00000019 - lickle bunnies
00000001 - Vaneesa (the Maynard quad!)
00000001 - Phillipa
00000001 - Jennie
05062011 - Population of Scotland
00000001 - LISS!!!!!!
00000001 - Susan
00100734 - Population of Carlisle
00000001 - Rebecca
00000002 - Pat and Steve
00000001 - Lynne (death by Chintz)
00000001 - Mollie Bettany (death by Pot Pourri)
00000001 - Madge (Swallowed whole)
00000005 - Bettany's
00000001 - Miss Kreboppel
00000003 - Warden Green, J Coates and a generic Mistress
00000001 - Evil, slimy, obnoxious Tony Connor
00000001 - Pim, cleaved in two
00000001 - Ally swooned over Jack
00000001 - Abi/Dylis curtseyed to death
00000004 - Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly, became speedbumps
00000002 - Noel/Jackie/Whatsit & Daphne
28863494 - Population of Peru
00000001 - Father Thomas
00000001 - Cecil drowned in effulent
00000001 - Gene used as a trampoline
00100001 - population of Alpha Centuri
00000001 - Ellie/Esmerelda
00000001 - Rosie
00000048 - Schoolgirls
1294629555 - China
0000000004 - Chester Sisters
0000000027 - Poohed to death
0290342554 - The united States of America
0000000003 - The three bears, Tom, Honeycomb and Pogo

1,736, 107, 644 - GRAND TOTAL!!

 

#123:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 11:20 pm

So amazing, I'm going to read it again before I go to bed! Poor Kate! I should think there will be an outcy from the teddy bear enthusiasts Shocked

OOAOML is still an educationalist at heart, I see.

the only snag with reading it is that I now have to wait for tomorrow for the next part!

 

#124:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 11:25 pm

Waves at the other US ghosts (except GWB & co.)
Giggles at Kate.
Fears Matilda.
Hopes KB doesn’t take lessons from this ML. (Assuming she could while dead Confused .)

 

#125:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 11:25 pm

*crying laughing* Well that's my daily dose of blood, guts, gore, chaos and mayhem. The essential ingredients to a bedtime story, lol.

 

#126:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 11:32 pm

Great stuff Carolyn! And I'm not dead yet (said with smug voice). Razz

 

#127:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 12:18 am

Carolyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shocked Shocked
My poor little Honeycomb!!!

 

#128:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 12:24 am

Carolyn - how could you do that to the bears? What did they ever do to anyone?
*Hopes that GWB was in America at the time - not out of the county eating turkey*

 

#129:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 12:41 am

He gave a speech in D.C. this afternoon so I'd say there's a good chance Twisted Evil .

 

#130:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:03 am

We can hope then. Laughing

 

#131:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:16 am

ROFL ROFL ROFL

*yet more giggling*

Off to bed now, so thanx Carolyn. Can really sleep well now!!!! I always keep this till last to try and make sure that there is a new bit on there before I read the yibbling. Looking forward to Rachel's next bit now!! ROFL

 

#132:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:35 am

Poor teddybears! (says nothing about the population of america, they should have had a failsafe)
Thanks for the daily dose Twisted Evil

 

#133:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 6:40 am

Wonderful - find it somewhat poetic that the Pentagon wiped out America!

Query - Warden Green sauce? Is that me?

 

#134:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 10:34 am

chuckling quietly (so not as to get too many strange looks from colleague)

Thank you Carolyn, that was great! well apart from the fact that I am still not dead! mind you, nor is my teddybear either!

*beginning to think that there is something seriously wrong with me*

 

#135:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 10:34 am

Lesley wrote:
Query - Warden Green sauce? Is that me?


Only after you have been mashed, pureed and sieved.

 

#136:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 10:41 am

It was your invention wasn't it Rachel?

 

#137:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 10:50 am

I prefer the word "recipe" Wink

 

#138:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 10:51 am

Whatever, when will we see today's episode of this tragedy?

 

#139:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 10:55 am

I love the ultimate in 'friendly fire'!!! Hurry up with your bit, please Rachel!!

 

#140:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 2:55 pm

*giggles wildly* Poor Kate - she so wants to die ROFL

 

#141:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 3:57 pm

Why don't you put her out of her misery and send a hit squad to assassinate Kate. That would make her feel really special.

 

#142:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:08 pm

I have a sneaky feeling that Kate may appear again tonight.

In fact I think tonights bit will be worth staying up for.

 

#143:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:24 pm

Stop teasing us Carolyn, and get posting!

 

#144:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 5:16 pm

Bbbbut it's Rachel's turn!

 

#145:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 5:20 pm

Yes, but am i actually going to get to die???????? Very Happy Very Happy

Seeing as the pair of you are slightly Twisted Evil and know i can't log in after 5pm tonight till Monday morning you will probably decided that it will be fun to kill me tonight cos i can't react till Monday!!! Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad

 

#146:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 6:21 pm

*chants at Rachel*

 

#147:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 6:47 pm

*Lines up with Vikki and joins the chant*

 

#148:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 7:50 pm

Ellie wrote:
*Hopes that GWB was in America at the time - not out of the county eating turkey*


Ellie, I now have an image of the American President eating a country! Thank you very much!

Wonderful stuff, Carolyn! I'm so glad to see a reference to Rachel's beloved Warden Green sauce, and it's lovely to see a few teddy bears copping it. I don't know why Vikki's upset - she couldn't play with Honeycomb, being dead, anyway! Now she can!

 

#149:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:08 pm

*vows to avenge the teddies*

 

#150:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:10 pm

*sighs and goes off to buy Vikki a new teddy bear*

 

#151:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:22 pm

It's not the same!!!!!!

 

#152:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:27 pm

Well, I'd kill you to keep him company, but you're already dead...

 

#153:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:38 pm

Kate sat in bed, grizzling away, wondering when she would be permitted to get up. As a good CS girl, she wouldn't get up until she was given permission, but she was beginning to wonder if anyone would even remember that she had been sent to bed.
"Maybe I'll die of starvation!" she thought, and immediately brightened up at the prospect. At that point, the door to the dormitory was flung wide open to frame Con Maynard standing there with an Uzi.

Felix and Felicity were growing blase about their ability to wipe out entire countries after their recent successes, and decided it was time to use the weapons of the Russians to good advantage. They hacked into the Kremlin's most secure system, and after one of their by now standard "Bet you can't, bet I can" arguments, took the decision to attack Burkina Faso - purely because they thought it sounded funny. Anything funny was to be avoided at all costs, so it was far safer to wipe it out with Russian stealth weapons.

 

#154:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:41 pm

Con looked around the dormitory, momentarily distracted by the sauce on the floor, but seeing nothing of interest left. Kate sighed, really this was too much, starvation wasn’t really an interesting death was it, but it seemed all she could look forward to. She was walking back into her cubicle when Con ran back in, pushed past her and fired the Uzi into Kate’s teddy bear. Once the bear was just a mass of rags and sawdust Con left without even looking at Kate.

In the staff room Mary-Lou was worrying that the offspring had managed somehow to stay alive. She knew that her forces were larger, but they were steadily diminishing whilst the Maynards just continued to exist. She sent her best butter knife expert snipers out to see what they could do. The two middles climbed to an attic room where they had an excellent view into the lab.
“Felix and Felicity,” whispered one as she saw two fighting forms.
“Mike, Charles, Margot,” added another as they saw a huddle over a stove.
“Len,” they both shivered as they named the leader of the pack.
“That seems to be all, who shall we aim for?”
A voice came from behind them, “Felix and Felicity,” Without thinking who spoke the two butter knife snipers aimed and fired. One hit Felix, the knife going right through his left eye and into the brain. One missed and hit the window. Mike looked up at this and gave a cheerful wave in their direction.
“Thank you, that’s one out of the way. Len wouldn’t let me do anything about them. I suppose I had better take care of you two now,” The snipers turned this time, and saw Con, stood with her Uzi, regarding them with a playful smile. Then she fired. Blood and bits of middle everywhere.

 

#155:  Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:42 pm

*ROFL , having just caught up on the last three days of this!*

How's Matey, by the way?

 

#156:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:44 pm

Felicity was ecstatic at this turn of events. Without Felix to distract her, she rapidly utilised the Kremlin's weapons systems and took out Guatemala, Djibouti, Gibralatar, the Marshall Islands and Redcar in Oxford. Felix's body continued to twitch for several minutes until Len absentmindedly flung him from the window where his body caught against the middles who were surreptitiously trying to gain access to the lab via the windows. Felix and the middles crashed down to earth, his corpse splitting open upon landing and thereby smearing bits of himself all over them. They all broke their necks upon landing, but rather than being killed by this had to suffer the painful death that comes when a paralysed body is unable to breath. They all died of suffocation in their totally alert bodies.

Con was now using the schools air conditioning system to go commando style through ducts and air vents, pausing now and again to point the muzzle of the Uzi through the vents and shoot unwary middles. The solitary middles with her photos and A4 paper was by now struggling to keep up, but was determined not to stop. Mary-Lou was beginning to wonder if she had underestimated the power of the Offspring, but knowing that she was Mary-Lou, was completely unable to contemplate being wrong about anything.

 

#157:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:44 pm

"Blood and bits of middle everywhere". I love it. Very Happy Laughing

 

#158:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:49 pm

Mary-Lou was determined to try and keep up and ordered a pre-emptive strike against Australia. “If they were mad enough to send us Emmerence Hope, then they deserve it,” she said to the aghast staff room. Quite how the Old Girls left alive were to take out Australia she didn’t know, and didn’t really care. They did it in the end by the simple method of rewriting the History books so that Australia had never been discovered and therefore never existed.

Whilst they were busy in the library Mary-Lou was busy on her own project. A statue. A large statue that would adorn the entrance hall so that everyone who entered would know beyond a doubt that she was the Supreme Headmistress. So far it reached ten foot, made from toilet roll tubes, sticky back plastic and various household items. She wasn’t quite happy with the nose however. Spying a junior creeping past she hailed them,
“Oy, you! Get up there and remodel the nose.”
Rachel TW sighed and climbed up. This was the tenth time she’d had to do this and didn’t think it was funny. Once out of reach she daring pulled a dreadful face at the Supreme headmistress, making sure that she behind the shadow cast by the nose. Rachel TW did not want to be killed thank you very much! She did not get her wish however. The papier-mâché was still wet and she slipped. Hanging onto the nose she managed to get a grip, but not for long, the edifice began to topple and slowly bent to the ground. Rachel TW thought she had survived until pinned down by Mary-Lou’s nose she was unable to stop the sticky back plastic from landing on her face and stopping her breathing. Rachel, to everyone’s shock and surprise, passed away stickily.

 

#159:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:54 pm

I'm dead, yippee, I can join most of the world (and Alpha Centurai) in haunting the rest of you now.

 

#160:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:57 pm

Once the other occupants of the room noticed Rachel TW's demise, they set up a rousing "three cheers" for Mary-Lou's nose, and voted to leave the statue exactly as it was as a memorial to tackiness overcoming the worst obstacles in life.

Kate was now screaming at the top of her voice in the hopes of attracting somebody's attention. Somebody. Anybody. She didn't care who. And nobody cared about her or the noises she was making.

Len and Mike were in serious discussions about where they wanted to go next in their campaign.
"I really think we need Steve back for our plan to succeed." Len said.
"But WHY?" asked Mike. "What can he do that I can't?"
"Well not being funny," replied Len, "But he's not only male, but he's hung like a -"
A scream interrupted her at this point, and she rushed over to the door. Peering out, she saw Con standing at the end of the corridor, beret pulled low over her eyes, cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth and some kind of machete cross pikestaff held at waist level with a collection of sixteen small girls impaled along it's length. "That'll teach them to try Indian File against us!" muttered Con, swivelling the cigarette along her lips.
Len gently closed the door and went back to Mike. " . . . a tadpole. He's completely non-threatening in a sexual kind of way. We can use him to infiltrate the staff room by promising to be very effeminate and camp for the benefit of those OGs who have never come across men yet, whereas YOU dear Mike, are such a complete opposite I think those women would pass out in shock."
"Let's try it and see," said Mike, striding manfully towards the door. He strutted his way along the corridor, looking for a female to try out his manly wiles on, and was fortunate to come across Carolyn skulking her way back to the staff room.
"Hey, female!" called Mike. Carolyn turned, spotted his manliness and promptly expired. Mike grinned cheerfully, returned to Len and said "Call Steve!"

Felicity now took out Mauritania, Swaziland and Turkmenistan. Swiftly followed by Nauru, Liechtenstein and Gabon. And then Trinidad and Tobego, Jordan and Slovakia.

 

#161:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:59 pm

Kate was in a rage. How dare they ignore her like this? She would show them, she would kill herself if no one would do it for her. She took the tie from her dressing gown and looped it around the curtain rail. Making a noose she put her head in and jumped. Unfortunately the rail was not designed for the weight and broke, leaving Kate in a heap on the floor, but still alive.

Steve arrived quicker than anyone expected, using the little known transportation device kept in the heads study. He shed his nun’s habit and walked down to the Staff Room quite naked.
“At last another pair of hands,” said Frieda Mensch as he walked in, trying to strut a little. “Can you hold on to the end of this missile, I’m just trying to readjust the guidance system? Don’t know why we brought American one’s, I keep telling everyone that the Vatican makes the best missiles, but no-one listens to me.”
Steve took the position indicated, but didn’t take any notice of what she was saying. He couldn’t figure out why no one fainted at the sight of a naked man in the Chalet School Staff Room.
“That should do it,” Frieda shut the little hatch with a smile and walked around to where Steve was stood. “Stand back woman, do you want to be caught in the blast?” She pressed a button and the missile was on its way.
“I’ve always wanted to nuke Central Europe, I hated the way I was always expected to be unquestioningly obedient just ‘cos I came from there. I’m a female, not a sheep.”
No one was listening to her and the missile went on its way to destroy millions without any of the other Old Girls taking any notice.
Steve was dumbfounded. He couldn’t talk anyway. (see earlier episodes) Did they really think he was female? He stood on the rug in front of the fire, arms akimbo. This was going to take some work, some brains. Noting that Frieda seemed to be finished Steve decided her brains would do. Placing his arm around her shoulder he led her to one side, then with a quick motion fastened his face to the side of her head and sucked her brains out through her ears. Spitting out the earwax he stood up, hungry no more. Now he had an idea. He would be the hero, and do the same to Mary-Lou, thus winning his family’s respect at last. Not so, he had inadvertently swallowed some earwax and before he could move again he had an anaphylactic shock and died on the spot.

 

#162:  Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:01 am

*wondering if Rachel & Carolyn (or possibly their ghosts...) will have to reverse the Body Count soon so it becomes a list of the rapidly shrinking number of people still alive*

ETA: Where's Matron in all this?!?

Last edited by BethC on Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:02 am; edited 1 time in total

 

#163:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:02 am

You two are posting so quickly tonight I can hardly keep up!

 

#164:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:02 am

Oh no! Now both Rachel and Carolyn have died too! Who's left?

(Well apart from Kate I mean!)

 

#165:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:03 am

Big EWWWWWW to the earwax. The rest's fine (and very funny) but i have chronic earache!!

 

#166:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:05 am

Felicity was the only one who had been paying any attention to Frieda, by means of the listening device surreptitiously drooped into the study by Con on her earlier wanderings around the CS air vents. With a grin, realising that she could now play with far superior weapons than the cruddy Russian ones, Felicity ordered the Kremlin to order a strike against Russia and all of the Baltic countries formally known as USSR. Now hacking into the Vatican systems, Felicity's eyes gleamed as she saw all the excellent firepower now at her disposal. To check that the hacking was working properly, she ordered a strike against Ireland, and tilted her head to one side considering critically if the resulting whooshing noise overhead was in reality a guided missile or just a particularly noisy seagull.

Kate was now jumping up and down on the bed in a hissy fit. But still nobody came. She decided it was time (again) to take her own life, and dramatically swallowed an entire bottle of pills. However, she failed to read the instructions properly and wondered why she was beginning to feel that she would never feel constipated ever again. As she was not permitted to leave the dormy, and as there were no toilets located within the CS anyway, she had no option but to sit in the resulting mess.

Mary-Lou, taking her responsibilities seriously, had ordered the few remaining students to the hall for prayers. As she was no fool however, Mary-Lou then ordered Simone to go and take prayers. Simone blanched, but as she was a true CS girl, she set her shoulders and walked manfully to her doom. Matilda was in the hall, having fully enjoyed every bite of her previous meals and on the look out for dessert. Of course, she would prefer dessert not to run around screeching as it gave her a headache, but the Maynard Offspring's booby traps placed earlier in the day worked spiffingly well and decapitated everyone in the room in one fell swoop of a scythe suspended from the rib stalls. Matilda sat down happily to enjoy her dessert in peace.

 

#167:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:07 am

Len was fed up. She was the eldest, but had kept a fairly low death count so far. It wasn’t fair she had never been given the opportunity to play in the labs, or on computers as she had been destined to teach languages. This did not give much scope for killing and she had to be content with the odd student her and there who couldn’t, or rather wouldn’t roll their ‘R’s properly. Now she was determined to have some fun. She pushed Felicity away from the computer and pressed the return key, sending missiles raining down on India, Iraq, Ilfracombe, Iran, Indonesia, Ipswich, Istanbul, Ilford, Iceland, Israel, and all Inland weather stations. This was small potatoes to Len who was after Destruction. It was no good if you couldn’t hear them scream. She wondered away discontent and Felicity resumed her place at the computer, blowing up country after country, turning her attention to the ‘S’s as there seemed to be rather a lot of them Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and The Grenadines, Samoa, San Marino, Sao Tome and Principe, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia and Montenegro, Seychelles, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, Solomon Islands, Somalia, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Suriname, Sweden, and finally Syria.
Len took a white flag and walked towards the Staff Room waving it, hoping to lure the Supreme Head Mistress out so that she could challenge her to a bare-knuckle fight. This may have worked if Margot hadn’t spotted her sister in the distance and unable to resist the temptation to finish something she had started when they were still schoolgirls themselves took a bookend from a handy bookshelf that was just written into the story and flung it at Len. This time she had slightly more strength and a much better aim. The bookend hit Len’s temple and killed her instantly.

Mary-Lou allowed herself a slight giggle as she saw this, she always knew that the offspring would end up killing each other; they were too like their mother to do anything else.

Kate opened the window to let the smell out, and wondered about jumping. Then she remembered that she had been forbidden to leave the dormitory until the Head Mistress said otherwise. Jumping out of the window would come into this category she was sure.
The middle with the photo’s had skipped prayers, and was now busy ticking off all those who had not got her foresight.
There was one other middle still alive. One with a skill at getting into small places. She had been hiding since the arrival of the offspring but was getting hungry. She began to squeeze out of her tiny space when Margot spotted her. “Well, well, a middle with a fondness for small places? What’s your name?”
“Ppppppppatmac?” squeaked the terrified form.
“That’s not a name, it’s a waterproof. Maybe that’s why you like small places. Let me see if I can squeeze you in here,” Margot produced a tiny metal matchbox and proceeded to stuff the patmac inside. Patmac didn’t make it, even with her incredible powers of scrunching up, a matchbox was too small. And it was a pulverised mess that Margot finally closed the box on before tossing it casually down the waste disposal.

 

#168:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:09 am

Con had also been observing whilst Margot killed Len, and decided it was time for some poetic justice to meet up with Margot in an inspired moment of divine retribution. Taking a small vial from the pocket of her trousers, Con took off the lid and threw the contents over her younger triplet sister. As the holy water splattered all over Margot, the devil inside her screamed and fought his way out, tearing a rather large hole in Margot's oesophagus in passing. This left Con, Mike, Charles (who had been keeping an extremely low profile) and Felicity. Con surveyed her army, and decided it was still too many, so nodded at Charles who died instantly obedient to his sister's commands.

Mary-Lou surveyed her troops and decided she had too few. Since there was no means of adding to the number, she decided she would have to place great hopes in her skills rather than numbers, and began knitting carefully.

Con, Mike and Felicity democratically decided it was time to take turns on the computer, and therefore Con shoved both of her smaller siblings aside and let out a mad cackle as she wiped out Colombia, Congo, Cameroon, Chile, Chad, Croatia, Central African Republic, Comoros, Cook Islands, Colchester and the Virgin Islands. Mike muttered under his breath about ironic place names before taking his turn and wiping out Montserrat and Monaco. Felicity in turn elected to wipe out Pakistan and Bangladesh - she didn't care about letter combinations really - just huge numbers of deaths.

Kate was fuming. Really really fuming. How dared they treat her like this! She went to the door of the room and called "Can I come down now?"

 

#169:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:11 am

Ooohhhhh are you going to finish tonight ? Is that why all the lovely posts?

Loved Len and PatMac's deaths!

 

#170:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:11 am

*feeling very sorry for Kate*

 

#171:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:14 am

There was no answer to Kate’s request and so she retreated back to her bed and began planning and sulking alternately. If she wasn’t killed soon it would be weekend, and then what would happen?

Con Mike and Felicity were still having fun at the computer, when Con remembered why they were there, to take out Mary-Lou.
“How precise do you think we could be?” she asked.
“Watch this,” Felicity’s fingers flew across the keyboard and a missile flew past the window, they craned out to watch the flight path, and gave a loud cheer as they saw in the distance their old home, Plas Gwyn explode and fly up in the air, bricks from the building landing all over the village and killing any villager still silly enough to live anywhere the Maynards had ever inhabited.
“Do you think we can get HER?”
Felicity nodded, “It’s harder to hit a moving target, but I’ll try.” She applied herself to the task.

Mary-Lou had just about finished her knitting. She shook it and grinned, the offspring were in for a shock. A missile did a u-turn in the corridor and came in through the door. Mary-Lou cast her knitting, caught the missile neatly in the giant lacrosse net and threw it back towards the labs. The offspring had just enough time to duck. Mike made the mistake of looking up too early and was neatly decapitated by the missile before it landed in the playing field and exploded killing 53 rabbits, 3 moles, 6 foxes and 1 badger.
“Men,” said Con, shaking her head, “never patient enough.” Felicity agreed and turned back to the computer intent on causing more worldwide mayhem.

The school was almost empty. There were a few OG’s left, the two offspring, Mary-Lou, Kate, the middle with the photo’s and of course Matilda. Matilda was not worried about the state of the world, she was happy, well fed and now having slept she was wondering round the school once more. Coming across Jack Lambert trying to build a man-sized catapult she pounced. Jack was caught off guard and ended up being fired by the catapult into orbit in outer space. As you know there is no Oxygen in outer space and not having the foresight to wear a space suit Jack perished. The first Chalet Girl in space.

Con had left Felicity at the computer and went in search of her own fun. She had tried an Uzi, and a machete, this time a carving knife was her weapon of choice. She had found her aunt Robin skulking the corridor with this particular knife and after dispatching Robin with the Vulcan Nerve pinch she took the knife and stole into the staff room.

 

#172:  Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:14 am

Quote:
"That’s not a name, it’s a waterproof"


ROFL
*also feeling sorry for Kate!*

*whispers ...but what about Matey?*

 

#173:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:17 am

Mary-Lou couldn't quite work out what she had done with her army. She was sure she had had one earlier on, but it appeared to have completely vanished now. Deciding that she was going to have to risk leaving the safety of the staffroom, she ventured out into the corridor, inadvertantly kicking Rachel TW's body in passing. Tis kick shifted the model nose and sticky backed plastic leaving Rachel's airways clear, and she immediately began breathing once more. Mary-Lou strode along corridors, showing little or no regard for the multiple corpses she passed. Eventually, she stood at the bottom of the stairs and banged hard on the gong that stood there since time immemorial to call hoardes of hungry school girls to meals. Con heard the sound, and followed it.

Kate was now sitting on the floor of the dormy, singing pathetically to herself whilst putting straws in her hair. Well, she would have if she had any straws but in their absence she was using cotton buds. Used ones unfortunately as all the unused ones appeared to have vanished.

Con and Mary-Lou faced each other across the expanse of the vestibule. They nodded slightly at each other and began circling, pacing the floor and keeping in step with each other, neither one quite prepared to make the first move.

Felicity was still having fun with her computer, wiping out country after country. Her fingers flew over the keyboard and her smile grew broader and broader as the number of remaining countries grew fewer and fewer. Just as Felicity was poised to make a strike against the last remaining country Switzerland - apart from England natch! - Matilda jumped on the keyboard, causing Felicity's fingers to slip.
"You stupid bloody cat!" shrieked Felicty as she realised that Matilda would be responsible for the demise not only of Switzerland but also England . . .

W

h

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

s

h

!

!

!



CRAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!"

The air was rent by the sound of the explosions, the bodies parts began flying, death and destruction were the order of the day in both England and Switzerland. Once the dust stopped flying, and the sound of silence was the only thing left to be heard on the entire planet, Kate looked around dazedly. Somehow, God alone knew how, she had survived.
"Hello?" she called, her voice sounding lost and alone in the hugeness of a planet with no other survivors. "H-hello?" her voice wavered and tears spilled down her cheeks. "Am I allowed out yet?" she called to the vast silence.










MEANWHILE

Matey's corpse lay on the floor of the outhouse, crumbling to dust. Beside her, the machine clanked and whirred. Finally a light turned green and there was a subdued "ping" sound. From the large opening n the side of the machine, the first of the ordered seven billion Matey clones stepped out and surveyed her surroundings.







THE END

 

#174:  Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:21 am

So are you ready to face seven billion Mateys, Kate? Very Happy

Brilliant, you two - thank you!

Is there a final itemised body count?!

 

#175:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:23 am

*pulls self together to type, gives up, places head back down on desk moaning weakly with the effect of too much laughter*

I can't believe it's the end!

 

#176:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:24 am

*laughs manically* *looks around and stops laughing hurridly*
That was brilliant you two!! Poor Kate *keels over laughing again* Do we still get an itemised Body Count? (And if you could include Brittany seperately for me I'd be very grateful - I need it for my coursework!!) ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#177:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:24 am

ROFL x infinity!!!!!!


Oh that was magnificent! Poor Kate - alone on a planet with 7 billion Mateys!!!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Rachel, Carolyn thank you both so much for all your hard work - wonderful - running out of superlatives!

Last edited by Lesley on Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:43 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#178:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:30 am

Applauds loudly, so the world ends with a typo!
Actually glad that I'm not around to see the 7 Billion Mateys.
Poor Kate Exclamation

 

#179:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:35 am

Oh! my sides ache.

Amazing! I've heard of synchronised swimming but never synchronised posting! Surprised

Oh! Poor Kate - I think she will still want to die. Shocked

Thank you so much Rachel and Carolyn. that was brilliant from start to finish.

I've adopted a new sig in your honour. Laughing

I'm sorry it's finished but it do go out with a bang!!!!!!

 

#180:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:37 am

00000003 - Hilda, Jem, Reg (at the end of the Xmas special, but counting in here)
00000018 - Prefects
00000004 - Joan, Gaudenz, Kathie, Nancy
00000002 - Jack and Joey
00000177 - Middles
00000012 - Mistresses on bus
00000324 - Swiss village
00000067 - Millies
00000001 - Phillipe
00000015 - Millies staff
00000038 - Platz residents
00250582 - Interlaken residents
00000111 - CS Juniors
00000732 - Tourists
00000002 - Billy and Rachel's brother
00000002 - un-named from Thrombosis
00000025 - Boy scouts from tangled knots
00000002 - Sybil and Josette bored to death
00000004 - CBBer's (KB, Adelheid, Kirsty, and Kathryn) from Yibbling
00000001 - Crashweewee
31714637 - population of Canada
00000010 - seniors electrocuted
00000003 - seniors run over
00004048 - in crashed planes
00000002 - un-named headmistresses
02903085 - population of Wales (glad you used the same source as me Carolyn! )
00000002 - Engelbert and Ermintruda
00000001 - Chloe
00000005 - MEN!
00000002 - C_Rachel and Nina washing pans
00000009 - archaeologists
00000001 - Virus
00000048 - 47 mistresses and a dog
00000097 - Sixth formers
00000264 - train passengers
00000020 - smoking related
00000002 - squashed by a large joint
00000001 - Nicci in a box
00000013 - inhaling flies
00304300 - Population of Coventry
00000001 - Bill Wilson
00000002 - Miss Lawrence & Miss Derwent
00000001 - Body under train
60180529 - Population of France
00000017 - girls whose faces didn't fit, shredded
00000002 - tongue lashed by Mary-Lou
00000001 - Xanthe, trampled and crushed by Brownies
00000004 - mistresses during "I-Spy"
00000023 - hit by Chunnel train
00000001 - Miss Smith impaled on a railway sleeper
00000001 - LisaT
00000001 - Peggy Bettany
00000002 - From Embarassment
00000001 - From Contortions
00000001 - Geoff Maynard, not ladylike
00000001 - Tourist, slain by Shakespeare
21516273 - Population of London, plus commuters, plus tourists
00000001 - Vikki, death by Baileys
00133626 - Population of Windsor
00000019 - lickle bunnies
00000001 - Vaneesa (the Maynard quad!)
00000001 - Phillipa
00000001 - Jennie
05062011 - Population of Scotland
00000001 - LISS!!!!!!
00000001 - Susan
00100734 - Population of Carlisle
00000001 - Rebecca
00000002 - Pat and Steve
00000001 - Lynne (death by Chintz)
00000001 - Mollie Bettany (death by Pot Pourri)
00000001 - Madge (Swallowed whole)
00000005 - Bettany's
00000001 - Miss Kreboppel
00000003 - Warden Green, J Coates and a generic Mistress
00000001 - Evil, slimy, obnoxious Tony Connor
00000001 - Pim, cleaved in two
00000001 - Ally swooned over Jack
00000001 - Abi/Dylis curtseyed to death
00000004 - Rachael, Kathy S, Nell and Polly, became speedbumps
00000002 - Noel/Jackie/Whatsit & Daphne
28863494 - Population of Peru
00000001 - Father Thomas
00000001 - Cecil drowned in effulent
00000001 - Gene used as a trampoline
00100001 - population of Alpha Centuri
00000001 - Ellie/Esmerelda
00000001 - Rosie
00000048 - Schoolgirls
1294629555 - China
0000000004 - Chester Sisters
0000000027 - Poohed to death
0290342554 - The united States of America
0000000003 - The three bears, Tom, Honeycomb and Pogo
4639774425 - remainder of the worlds population

6,375,882,069 - GRAND TOTAL!!

 

#181:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 12:56 am

Good Heavens to Murgatroyd !!!!!!!!

aghast. simply aghast.

 

#182:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:13 am

But who was the mysterious middle with the photo?!!!


Wow! Shocked Shocked Shocked ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#183:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:49 am

(expanded body count summary per request of galactic press)

4639774425 - remainder of the worlds population

including

-Kate’s bear, by Uzi
-Felix, butter knifed
-2 butter knife snipers, by Uzi
-unnamed middles, lung paralysis after necks broken
-Australia, never really existed
-Rachel the Witch, under ML's nose (sort of)
-16 middles, on single machete-pikestaff
-Carolyn, by Mike’s impression of manliness
-Frieda Mensch, by brain suction
-Steve Maynard, of earwax
-Simone & praying schoolgirls, booby-trapped
-Len, bookended
-PatMac, folded (not simply compressed) into matchbox
-Margot’s devil, by holy water
-Margot, ruptured by devil
-Charles, obediently
-Mike, decapitated by rebounding missile
-Jack Lambert, lacking space suit
-Robin, to Vulcan nerve pinch
-everyone else (except Kate)

6,375,882,069 - GRAND TOTAL!!

Last edited by Kathy_S on Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:20 pm; edited 3 times in total

 

#184:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 2:19 am

Oh, oh, oh, oh,!!!
Weeping with laughter!!
How on earth do you two do it!! (and I so hope I'm around on Monday when Kate finds this thread!!!! That was a little mean leaving her as the only one alive with 7 billion Matey clones......)

 

#185:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:50 am

What a way to end the week, weak from laughter.

Just sad now that it's all over.

Many thanks and Congratulations to both of you.

 

#186:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:45 am

If I had breath to do, I'd express my sympathies to Kate. But that was simply magnificent! I'm very impressed at the way you systematically got rid of everyone else. But we'll never know who would have won out of Con and Mary-Lou!

 

#187:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:48 am

Con would have won - no doubts!

BUT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY ASIDES, EPILOGUES, PROLOGUES OR ADDITIONS WRITTEN TO THIS STORY

 

#188:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:53 am

Did I ask for more? No, I did not!

I think it wouldn't work with an epilogue. Not enough people to kill.

 

#189:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:57 am

Polly wrote:
But who was the mysterious middle with the photo?!!!


For the answer to that you need to go backto the advent drabbles and look at the christmas special.




Kate Wink Hope you deal well with Matey, but at least you are in the remnants of a different country!!

Kathy S Patmac wasn't compressed she was folded (sort of, what else do you do with a waterproof???)

 

#190:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 1:07 pm

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Oh my! I can't believe how much and how quickly and how destructively you both posted in the last 24 hours!

Thank you both for so many evenings of total hilarity!!!

 

#191:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 2:00 pm

I agree with Vikki, I'm looking forward very much to Kate's reaction when she finds this thread.

 

#192:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:17 pm

Brilliant, Rachel and Carolyn. Thank you very much.

 

#193:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:19 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

Kathy S Patmac wasn't compressed she was folded (sort of, what else do you do with a waterproof???)


So sorry. Embarassed I shall repair it forthwith.

(No good at folding, myself. Matey would not approve of the way I stuff my waterproof into pack.)

 

#194:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 6:22 pm

Giggles

I shall miss this, but then, there is not much to write about now!!

Goodluck Kate with the clones of Matey

 

#195:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 6:31 pm

*dumbstruck*

Poor Kate. can't wait for her reaction Laughing Laughing

Carolyn and Rachel, that was amazing, all the way through.

 

#196:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 8:07 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL
Thank you so much. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Poor Kate Twisted Evil

 

#197:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 8:16 pm

*brings over tissues for those crying with laughter*

 

#198:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 8:51 pm

There should be tissues here already. This was a tragic tale.

 

#199:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 8:57 pm

For some reason, they've been overlooked...

 

#200:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:58 pm

Sarah_L wrote:
I agree with Vikki, I'm looking forward very much to Kate's reaction when she finds this thread.


*considers setting up camp on this thread to wait for Kate's reaction......*

 

#201:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:03 pm

Carolyn P wrote:
There should be tissues here already. This was a tragic tale.


If tragic = hilarious, then yes it was. Very Happy

 

#202:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:43 am

Vikki wrote:
*considers setting up camp on this thread to wait for Kate's reaction......*


*brings a tent*

 

#203:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:06 pm

....And some hot chocolate....

 

#204:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:36 pm

Truly wonderful! Can't get over how well the two corpses continued to write!!

 

#205:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 2:11 pm

Yes, they put all other dead bodies to shame. Razz

 

#206:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 2:56 pm

You were all SO sure we would survive at the end that we just had to kill each other!!

Although did you notice that Rachel had the honour of dying twice. Razz

 

#207:  Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet! PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:25 pm

Carolyn is it possible to have the drabble sent to me?

 

#208:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:30 pm

At the moment it is in lots of different files on my comouter and I'm not sure what on Rachel's. (I had 17 and she had 16 and then there is a long doc with Friday's parts that went back and forth!!)

Hmm, I'll think about what I can do to get it into one piece, but it probably won't be for a few days.

 

#209:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 5:33 pm

Owwwwww, my stomach hurts I've laughed so much!!! Poor, poor Kate. Fancy being left with all those Mateys.

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL:

Oops, put a few too many laughs in there Rolling Eyes

 

#210:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 5:45 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

so funny! thank you Rachel and Carolyn! Smile


*brings tent to campsite to watch for Kate's reaction*

 

#211:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 6:12 pm

Have the two of you got any more communal projects planned?

 

#212:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:46 pm

Sarah_L wrote:
Have the two of you got any more communal projects planned?



Arrrggh!!!!

*Runs and hides*

This is the first time since last summer that I haven't been writing something for you lot!!!!!

 

#213:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 8:25 pm

Well, surely that needs to be remedied....... Wink

 

#214:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:16 pm

I have started compiling all the posts into one doc - all interested please say soon!

 

#215:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:26 pm

May I have a copy please?

 

#216:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:29 pm

Thanks Rachel, are there any of mine you are missing?

Oh, and may I have a copy when it's done please.

 

#217:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:49 pm

I'd like a copy as well please Rachel. Are you going to note it down from this thread or would you prefer us to PM requests?

 

#218:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:58 pm

I'll lift names from this thread - although email addresses PMed would probably help!

I think I have all your posts Carolyn - I copied one from the thread that I didn't have so it should all be itting on my PC already Smile

 

#219:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:11 pm

Well if it's any help, including Friday's mega postingt as one, there were 34 altogether.

 

#220:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 12:32 am

I'd love a copy please Rachel (and I'll pm you my email addy too if that will help)

 

#221:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 1:11 am

Have already pm'd my e-mail address Rachel.

 

#222:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:09 am

I want a copy tooooooooooooooo Very Happy Will PM my address, probably tomorrow though Very Happy

 

#223:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:29 am

Please may I have a copy too Rachel? Just the thing to open when I need a giggle.

 

#224:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:29 am

May I have a copy too Rachel? I'll PM you my address!

 

#225:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:47 am

*wonders into centre of thread and curtseys to the two authors*

thank you so much for leaving me to deal with "the mateys", lucky that there are so many weapons which appear to have survived the fall out!

*wonders of to start building a bunker in which to live*

Rachel - please may i have a copy of this??

 

#226:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:33 pm

*feels a little disappointed by Kate's reaction!!!* Crying or Very sad

 

#227:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:56 pm

She did seem to take it in her stride, didn't she? Perhaps that was deliberate!

 

#228:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 5:27 pm

So glad Kate is happy with her role in this.

 

#229:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 5:43 pm

Well doen you two!! Loved Friday's mega posting! Laughing

Rachel could I have a copy too please!

 

#230:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:18 pm

may I have a copy as well please? ta!

*also disappointed by Kate's reaction* Smile

 

#231:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 8:39 pm

*equally disappointed*

 

#232:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 8:45 pm

I was expecting a bit of indignation, at the very least. Sad

 

#233:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 8:54 pm

Tears? Tanties? Even a little begging for mercy? SOMETHING!!!

 

#234:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:19 pm

Think Kate played it perfectly.


(and no, all she knew was that she would figure in Friday's posting, no more, no less! I presume she read all the comments about waiting for her reaction before posting.)

 

#235:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:46 am

Please may I have a copy too?!! Will try to remember to PM you tomorrow!
Ta! Very Happy

 

#236:  Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne/Hamilton until 11 September PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 12:42 am

Is it too late for it to be added to the Drabbles CD that is being produced for the Gathering?

 

#237:  Author: Polly, Location: Essex PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 12:48 am

Forgot to PM you Rachel. Will do now!

 

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