The CBB :: View topic - Dearest Liss

#1: Dearest Liss Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:22 pm

My dearest, darling Liss,
I just had to register, and post a thank you, for the lovely poem you wrote for me! I was wondering, would you like to meet up sometime? We could rent a room maybe?
all my love,
Your Rafe!!

#2: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:23 pm

*giggling*

now i wonder...

#3: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:24 pm

....who this is!

#4: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:32 pm

Liss, you are in luck! Wonder what Veta will make of it!!!

#5: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:33 pm

So, does this mean we have another man on the board now??

#6: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:35 pm

Oh Rafe! You have broken my heart! I thought that you were mine alone and now I find that you are fickle!

#7: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:45 pm

Ha! Elisaveta, you fool! You have spurned Rafe too often, mocking his brooding looks and penchant for rescuing you!! See how he has turned to me for comfort...

#8: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:49 pm

How can you say so! You who seem such a man-stealer that you take my hero from me! Be warned! I shall fight you tooth and nail!

#9: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:51 pm

Handbags at twenty paces girls?

May the best version of "Oh Rafe!" win Wink

#10: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:52 pm

Veta, I apologise for any hurt I have given you, but you kiss like a wet fish, and the lovely Liss sounds like she might be up for a bit of fun in the sack.........

.............what are your feelings on Rubber, Liss beloved?

#11: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:56 pm

I had not thought this of you Rafe! You have been brought up to your situation in life and should not betray it. I should warn any who trifle with the affections of Royalty to beware of the consequences.

#12: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 2:57 pm

You, see, I like to have balloons hanging around the bed......

.....makes it seem festive!

#13: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:02 pm

i'm close to having tears rolling down my cheeks as i read this! Laughing

#14: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:13 pm

*splutters all over puter screen before looking aorund library nervously*

#15: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:17 pm

Chloë wrote:

i'm close to having tears rolling down my cheeks as i read this! Laughing

*eyes Chloë lustfully, and edges closer, brandishing tissues......*

#16: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:21 pm

Chloe my dear be warned to have nothing to do with this ungrateful man! I gave him my heart and he spurned it for Another Woman! I feel sure that she is a Scarlett Woman and has corrupted my poor Rafe, but he is not the man he was.

#17: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:29 pm

*sobs folornly*
Is is my fault, Veta, if our relationship left me emasculated???
You're colder than an eskimo's underpants!

#18: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:45 pm

*trying very VERY hard to laugh silently*

#19: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 4:08 pm

I pity you, Elisaveta. You are obviously can't keep up with the stallion that is Rafe. Oh, Rafe! When we're together I feel that my heart might explode with passion. Carry me away to a secret isle where we can be together - just you and me and a box full of balloons...

#20: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 4:12 pm

*pleading and begging that this gets re-enacted at the Summer G ....*

Liss as herself, obviously ...
... but who could do the voices for Rafe and Veta?
*off to ponder*

#21: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 5:00 pm

Rafe wrote:

Chloë wrote:

i'm close to having tears rolling down my cheeks as i read this! Laughing

*eyes Chloë lustfully, and edges closer, brandishing tissues......*

*chokes*
It's ok thanks i have my own tissues!

#22: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:01 pm

Well, what a turn-up for the books!

#23: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:04 pm

Rachael wrote:

*pleading and begging that this gets re-enacted at the Summer G ....*

Liss as herself, obviously ...
... but who could do the voices for Rafe and Veta?
*off to ponder*

I'm putting in my request for a video of it now! Very Happy

#24: Author: ElKel,

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:24 pm

[quote="Donna"]

Rachael wrote:

*pleading and begging that this gets re-enacted at the Summer G ....*

Liss as herself, obviously ...
... but who could do the voices for Rafe and Veta?
*off to ponder*

Well, I keep hearing Charles Boyer whispering "Come wiz me to ze casbah". . .

I don't normally laugh out loud at the funny postings (years of training with parents who loved the quiet life!) but Rafe's penchant for rubber balloons had me in stitches! ROFL

At the risk of sounding voyeuristic, may we have some more of this budding romance? Wink

#25: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 8:17 pm

*splutters*

*chokes*

*in need of assistance...now......* Embarassed

<--me choking

#26: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 8:39 pm

Rachael wrote:

*pleading and begging that this gets re-enacted at the Summer G ....*

Liss as herself, obviously ...
... but who could do the voices for Rafe and Veta?
*off to ponder*

I've been thinking about this.... really we need a married couple to play Rafe and Veta - are there any married couples that are going to be at or close to the Summer Gathering? You know.... the one held at Rachael's house? Twisted Evil

#27: Author: claire, Location: South Wales

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 8:43 pm

It's got to be Kathye and Darren then

#28: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 8:48 pm

Well no, I was thinking of Rachael and Rob Pelter, Claire! After all,it's their house! Twisted Evil

#29: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:30 pm

*shrieks at the image of Rob as Rafe*

#30: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:44 pm

Ooooh, I love triangle, more please, with lots and lots of balloons.

#31: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:24 am

*giggles madly*
Poor Veta to be rejected so heartlessly, I'd watch out Liss or he might spurn you too (though I'm sure a reenactment of your reading at the first gathering might help...)

*falls off chair*

#32: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 1:12 am

Liss, my beloved.....
......No, I shall call you Lisette, it has a softer sound, more romantic.....

Lisette, beloved, I would never spurn you! You are my heart, my soul, my world!
Without you, my life has no meaning, my dreams have no focus.........

.............my manhood has no backbone........

#33: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:46 am

claire wrote:

It's got to be Kathye and Darren then

I'm afraid Darren won't be anywhere near the Summer G (he'll be at home babysitting Megan), Rob however will be on-hand........ Twisted Evil

So Rachael how you going to talk him into / explain this to him ??? Wink

#34: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:53 am

This is hilarious, I want more of it.

PS: are there any spare Rafes? Just about my age?

#35: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:58 am

My dearest Rafe
Your manhood has no backbone to start with, my dear!

Your never more loving Veta

#36: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:59 am

Ooooooooooooh, cutting! Watch it Veta, your claws are showing!

#37: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:10 am

Claws? No. I do not have claws Jennie. My heart is breaking.

#38: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:30 am

It sounds remarkably hard to me, Veta.

For heaven's sake girl, be a strong woman, not a spineless jellyfish. Use your womanly wiles on him!

#39: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:17 am

Elisaveta, my dear girl, it is only with YOU that my manhood lacks backbone......
.......with my darling Lisette it has a spine of iron!

Jennie, I do in fact have an older brother, his name is Aloyisious, and he says he would like to meet you.......

#40: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:23 am

Well, it sounds to me like Liss has been slipping Rafe some of that 'super-viagra' that they keep sending spam e-mail round about........

#41: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:37 am

Rafe wrote:

Jennie, I do in fact have an older brother, his name is Aloyisious, and he says he would like to meet you.......

have picture of Sebastian's teddy bear (Brideshead Revisted) wanting to meet Jennie now....

*howling with laughter...silently as at work*

#42: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:43 am

Well, there's one thing. Rafe can't spell. "Aloyisious" should be Aloysius.

Rafe oh Rafe, aren't you going to stop me from choking? Crying or Very sad

#43: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 10:02 am

Ciorstaidh wrote:

Well, there's one thing. Rafe can't spell. "Aloyisious" should be Aloysius.

Rafe oh Rafe, aren't you going to stop me from choking? Crying or Very sad

I am sure Rafe doesknow how to spell his own brother's name...Aloyisious will be the family spelling of the name and we should respect their wishes.

Wonder who Rafe will finally end up with.

#44: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 10:53 am

LOL! Marvellous!! Laughing

Oh and sorry to disappoint but I have hinted at a boy's golf weekend for Rob over 6-8 August so sadly he won't be at hand for any reenactments ....!!

Perhaps another time ... Rolling Eyes

And surely as good CS girls we can come up with a Rafe between us - just need someone tall with short hair and the ability to put on a deep voice ...
Any takers? Very Happy

#45: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 11:54 am

Ha, Ciorstaidh! Your wiles are useless. Rafe has eyes only for me! Oh come to me, my little love bunny (taking a moment to give Aloyisious's number to Jennie) and let us use both your strong backbone and your super viagra for the purposes they are best suited to...

#46: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:21 pm

*wondering just what furniture that Liss needs rearranging* Wink

#47: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:24 pm

Liss my dear, you clearly have no idea of Rafe's true potential. He has been trained as a dynamic leader of men and strong in the government of a country. Do you really believe that he will be satisfied with less?

#48: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:28 pm

Quote:

*wondering just what furniture that Liss needs rearranging*

must be in the bedroom so that they can hang the balloons better! Wink

#49: Author: Polly, Location: Essex

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:29 pm

It looks like he is, Elizaveta!!!!!

Hee hee hee ROFL

[/quote]

#50: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:41 pm

maybe for now Polly. How long will he be satisfied though? After all, when you consider what I can offer him, and that he still wandered, I'm sure that it is clear that this is only an infatuation.

#51: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:46 pm

but Veta would you want him back now...surely he's tainted goods?

#52: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:54 pm

Isn't he supposed to provide a daughter for the CS? I suppose he'll have to go back to Veta eventually! Whether it will be anything but a state marriage by then is another matter!!

#53: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:56 pm

unless he already has...what/which time frame are we in here?

#54: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 11:15 am

but... what is Rafe doing needing super-strength viagra?

Unless what Veta said about him is true... Laughing

#55: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 4:54 pm

Ciorstaidh wrote:

but... what is Rafe doing needing super-strength viagra?

Unless what Veta said about him is true... Laughing

Well, my dear young lady, that is something you are unlikely to ever discover first-hand........ Wink

#56: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 7:45 am

Seems to me you've hit on his (pardon the pun) weak point, Ciorstaidh...

#57: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 1:43 pm

*reads this with interest and a slight degree of worry*

#58: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 5:05 pm

Just to clear things up, I don't need the viagra, my manhood with its rod of iron, is more than capable of anything required of it! I just happen to like the taste of Viagra...........

#59: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 7:31 pm

*very sceptical about Rafe's claims about not needing the viagra - especially given Veta's comments!!!*

*Wouldn't actually want anything to do with such a patronising (can't say the next word) toerag like Rafe - Liss is welcome to this chauvinistic so and so and Veta, you are WELL rid!*

#60: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 7:38 pm

Ciorstaidh, my dear, I'm sorry you have this mistaken impression of me, but the fact remains that my heart belongs to the lovely Lisette!

(and if I'm lucky, she might start up a website just for me........)

#61: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 7:51 pm

Yeh well she's welcome to that lump of iron (and NO, I'm not talking about your "spoon" ROFL

but the unmoving thing you call a heart)

Veta, fancy going out guy-spotting with me tonight? We'll hit a few clubs, get a few free drinks, and see who comes our way Very Happy

#62: Author: Monkeys of Rage (c),

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 7:59 pm

'Allo Ciorstaidh

maybe ze time 'as come for you to consider interspecies dating.

come and be a leetle lurve monkey's plaything.

#63: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 8:05 pm

Oh, and Ciorstaidh, my dear, I believe that if Elisaveta accepts your invitation, it will not be MEN she will be looking for.........

#64: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 8:44 pm

Monkeys of Rage (c) wrote:

'Allo Ciorstaidh

maybe ze time 'as come for you to consider interspecies dating.

come and be a leetle lurve monkey's plaything.

'allo Monkeys of Rage (c)

You sound so genuine - it's SUCH a shame that I'm connected - what WOULD my Alvin say?

Rafe wrote:

Oh, and Ciorstaidh, my dear, I believe that if Elisaveta accepts your invitation, it will not be MEN she will be looking for.........

s'okay, she can have the hot women, then! Means more guys for me (I'm only after an eyeful, after all, s'not cheating by any means!)[/quote]

#65: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 9:22 am

IS very worried as to where this thread is decending too!

#66: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 8:01 pm

Chloë wrote:

IS very worried as to where this thread is decending too!

As opposed to where it started??? Laughing

#67: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:10 pm

Rafe, my ex-dearly beloved!! You're pathetic innuendos leave me cold! The farcical nature of them needs no rebuttal! As for your claims that you do not need viagra! Well! Tell that to the Marines, my dear! You may have some chance that they will believe you, but I doubt it.

#68: Author: Monkeys of Rage (c),

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:12 pm

'Allo 'Veta my leelt lurve cabbage!

Come away wiz me and we can make ze so bautiful music togezzer . . .

#69: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:15 pm

POssibly if I had some idea of your identity soemthing might be arranged. I do have my position to consider remember.

#70: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:16 pm

Veta wrote:

well, my dear Veta, if you were working your way through the marines, then I am ever more glad that I spurned you, in favour of my dearest Lisette...........

.........I just hope you didn't give me a disease......

#71: Author: Monkeys of Rage (c),

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:19 pm

Do not distress yourself Rafe, from now on I shall be ze one to give dear 'Veta any diseases!

#72: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:29 pm

Well if Veta gets any diseases then she'll need a nice doctor to take care of her like all good Chalet Girls Wink

#73: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:36 pm

I would not soil my hands with the Marine Corp!!! And i would prefer to have some idea of any Monkeys identity before even arranging a meeting! I have been very well brought up!

#74: Author: Monkeys of Rage (c),

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:40 pm

'Veta my darlink, my identity ees surely of no consequence. Surely eet matters more 'ow I feel for you.

'Ow I do lurve you my leetle precious bundle of cabbage stalks!

#75: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:47 pm

Well, monkeys, she lies there like a bunch of cabbage stalks usually, so you should be in luck.......

#76: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:52 pm

I rise above such allegations and treat them with ignortion.

#77: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 10:56 pm

Such a shame your English is as weak as your libido my dear girl!!!

#78: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 8:36 am

Rafe wrote:

(and if I'm lucky, she might start up a website just for me........)

Oh dear it look's like Rafe is after one thing only.....................

Poor Liss, poor Veta.......maybe they should just run off together and leave Rafe for the Monkey's of Rage (c)

#79: Author: Kathye, Location: Laleham

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 8:41 am

Thinks this thread has descended below the gutter and is possibly halfway to Aussie now !!! Shocked

#80: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 9:44 am

Kathye I agree with you. That is why I will now hold myself above such goings on! Rolling Eyes

#81: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 12:12 pm

Love today's developments.

This could become a regualr soap opera drabble! Twisted Evil

#82: Author: Alex, Location: Home again

Posted: Tue May 04, 2004 5:42 pm

We were warned at work recently that we should ask patients if they'd bought any drugs on the internet. Apparently a guy in a hospital somewhere had bought some super viagra on the internet and then he was quite ill and admitted to hospital and it turned out he was taking 500mcg of LEAD a day. Maybe that is Rafe's problem?

#83: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 1:14 am

Good grief!!! The poor chap!
I'd better go and see Dr Jack for a bit of a check up I think!!!!

#84: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 4:41 pm

I wouldn't worry about such trifling things if I were you, my darling Rafe. And Veta - ha! I see how you hold yourself aloof. Are you surprised that Rafe could not find happiness with you? He needs a REAL woman!

O Rafe you are the greatest,
As far as I can see.
There’s no one could be finer
You’re everything to me.

O Rafe you are so sexy
A rollicking ride of glee;
I often yearn to lick you
And eat you up for tea.

O Rafe you are so muscled -
I love your biceps, me.
You’d win a Mr Universe,
They’d only need to see

That Rafe is my one true love;
That really is the key.
O Rafe, I love you madly -
So listen, Rafe: take me!

#85: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 4:53 pm

It is when one reads fine works such as this that one wonders how it is Andrew Motion, rather than Liss, is our poet laureate... Wink

#86: Author: Alex, Location: Home again

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 6:00 pm

What would Hilda say?!

#87: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 7:46 pm

LISS!

#88: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 8:04 pm

Lisette Havilland!!!
I'm shocked!!! Wink

Poor Rafe, he must be blushing!!!!

#89: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 8:45 pm

Love the ups and downs of this thread.

Will Liss and Rafe find true love?

Will Veta, spurned take revenge?

Who will talk to the marines?

What will the monkey's of rage do next?

Where will the cabbage stalks appear?

and Is there Lead in Rafe's tablets?

#90: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 8:50 pm

I think the question is, is there lead in his pencil??????

#91: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 9:08 pm

*Rising above the dirt*
Rafe learnt to use a fountain pen in the Nursery my dear.

#92: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 12:08 am

Yes, but Veta, could not this be the reason that Rafe has such, ahem, "trouble"? Laughing

#93: Author: Maximilian Batiste, Location: Privy Council, Mirania

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 3:27 pm

Lies! It's all the most scandalous lies! For the truth, please visit the page I have been battling to include on the official Miranian website, despite unconscionable resistance from the Privy Council.

Raphael Helson

#94: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 3:49 pm

#95: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 3:49 pm

Telling lies about Royalty is treason. That carries the death penalty.

#96: Author: Maximilian Batiste, Location: Privy Council, Mirania

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 3:51 pm

I am not afraid of you, wench! I will battle for the Duke's honour to the death, for I love him! In a manly way.

#97: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 4:08 pm

*collapses in a weak heap laughing*

Sorry, I can't help myself... ROFL

#98: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 5:02 pm

*guggling away to herself*

#99: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 5:32 pm

Didn't I say this would turn into a soap opera!!!

LOVE IT!!!

#100: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 6:41 pm

Wonderful. Just wonderful
*slides off chair for the hundreth time in this thread*

#101: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 7:10 pm

*weeping with laughter!*
Oh dear!!
Will Liss and Max have a kipper-fight to see who gets Rafe?

#102: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 7:19 pm

So, Maximillian, we meet again!
I wondered why my underwear was disappearing again..........

#103: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 7:22 pm

*splutters with laughter*

#104: Author: Monkeys of Rage (c),

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 8:56 pm

Peeeeeeeest! 'Veta!

Run away wiz me now my leetle poo pit!

#105: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:09 pm

caz wrote:

*splutters with laughter*

I don't see why you are laughing young lady!
There is nothing funny about a knicker nicker...........

#106: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:16 pm

*Picks herself up out of the gutter where she has fallen due to hysterics*

What a wonderful soap opera, do you think American TV would be interested???

#107: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:17 pm

I do apologise, (*help, what do you call a deposed royal?*). It was not the fact of personal items being stolen which amused me, but rather the melodrama of the confrontation with Maximilian Batiste which was reduced to bathos by the revelation concerning said items. And may I respectfully suggest that you replace your personal security guards? If they were unable to work out the identity of the thief I am deeply concerned as to their ability to defend you from personal bodily harm.

May I remain, etc....

*phew!*

#108: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:25 pm

Careful Caz, the bodyguards might come after you if Rafe sacks them!!!

#109: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:27 pm

Aaaargh! *runs to hide behind Vikki cos she's the only other person on the board*

Last edited by caz on Fri May 07, 2004 9:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

#110: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:30 pm

Caz, unless you are very short, (i.e. less than 4ft 11.5) hiding behind me wil probably not do you a great deal of good....... Wink

#111: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:32 pm

Yes, but you're bright enough to work out that suggesting that I might have the bodyguards after me after I told Rafe to sack them so I'm sure you can think if something quickly before they get to us!

#112: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 9:39 pm

okay then!
*opens door of bunker.....*

#113: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 10:58 pm

*wonders whether she should worry that Vikki is letting her go first*

#114: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:05 pm

So suspicious!!!
I may have to set my big sis onto you.......

#115: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:15 pm

*wibble*

#116: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:42 pm

Caz don't worry

#117: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:44 pm

*waits for Chloe to explain why she shouldn't worry*

#118: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:52 pm

You should be VERY worried!
especially if I have to call in BOTH of my big sisses........

#119: Author: caz, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 11:58 pm

but... but... I was only wondering whether I should worry until the threats started.
*whimper*

*flash of inspiration*
Vikki, why don't we both hide behind your big sisters? Would they protect us from Rafe's ex-bodyguards?

#120: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 12:03 am

I don't know!
You coukld ask them.....

#121: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 2:20 am

*shakes head*
*wonders who has paid whom to keep this off the front pages of the supermarket tabloids*

#122: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 10:07 am

caz wrote:

*waits for Chloe to explain why she shouldn't worry*

As i'm sure aunite Vikki, auntie Carolyn and auntie Rachel wouldn't be too scary or mean Wink

#123: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 4:36 pm

*huggles her lickle niece* Wink

#124: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 10:20 pm

*watches developments incredulously and wonders how on earth this has stayed out of the likes of Tatler and Vanity Fair!*

#125: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 10:26 pm

Probably because they're not all shagging everything in sight!
That's mainly what that type of magazine is interested in!

#126: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 10:35 pm

*Wonders if Vikki knows this for sure, given certain accusations on both sides*

In any case... it's still Royal Scandal!

#127: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 10:39 pm

I said they weren't ALL shagging everything in sight! Admittedly, some people are, but even so........

#128: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 12:44 pm

We, the Supreme Majesty of Mirania, are extremely distressed by the comments made by the members of the board. The Royal House of Mirania will not be subject to scandal and gossip.

#129: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 1:20 pm

Excuse me your majesty, it might be necessary to put your own house in order first as at least some of these comments have come from your relatives and noblemen who appear to have stumbled inadvertantly onto this board

#130: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 1:23 pm

My dear Roxelanne,
You have my most hearfelt support in this time of crisis. Our Houses should surely stand together against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. I can assure you that my feelings have never wavered despite the betrayals that I have suffered.

Veta of Belsornia

#131: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 1:42 pm

Dearest Veta

I am sorely distressed by my nephew's behaviour and saddened that he has publicly humiliated you in such a fashion. I never for a moment doubted your conduct. Your support is greatly appreciated as I feel that a united front would be the best way to show both these commoners that we are above such matters.

Roxalanne

PS - Have summoned Maximilian Batiste to attend an equiry to explain himself and his actions regarding my nephew's undergarments.

#132: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 1:57 pm

Dearest Roxelanne
Thank you for your support - it is much appreciated. I would like to be in attendence at your forthcoming interview.

Veta

#133: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 2:25 pm

If the big guns are going to start firing, I suggest that we all find some bomb-proof shelter.

#134: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 3:22 pm

*hides behind Jennie*

Wow big important people are getting involved!

#135: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 9:33 pm

HRH Roxalanne of Mirania wrote:

PS - Have summoned Maximilian Batiste to attend an equiry to explain himself and his actions regarding my nephew's undergarments.

AUNTIE ROXY!!!!!!!!
For heaven's sake! Leave my y-fronts out of it!!!! Embarassed

#136: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 9:37 pm

Rafe wrote:

HRH Roxalanne of Mirania wrote:

PS - Have summoned Maximilian Batiste to attend an equiry to explain himself and his actions regarding my nephew's undergarments.

AUNTIE ROXY!!!!!!!!
For heaven's sake! Leave my y-fronts out of it!!!! Embarassed

*laughs head off*

ROFL

#137: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 9:45 pm

*being a gentleman, picks up Miss Angel's head and returns it to her with a bow!*

#138: Author: Angel, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 9:47 pm

*is bowled over by Rafe*

Thank you sir.

*smiles*

#139: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 8:52 am

Rafe wrote:

AUNTIE ROXY!!!!!!!!

Rafe, how may times do I have to tell you, I will not be addressed this way in public.

HRH

#140: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:18 am

Offering places in her nuclear shelter as long as people arrive quickly so we can lock the door.

#141: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 10:13 pm

Please Miss Jennie, may I have a place in your bunker?
Auntie Roxy is very fierce.......

#142: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:55 am

Rafe, running and hiding is hardly the actions of a gentlemen of your station.

Unless of course all that dearest Veta has said about you is true.

HRH

#143: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:16 am

Now you see what the problem is Cousin.

#144: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:19 am

Oh dear Rafe, you'd better watch out - Auntie Roxy won't be lending you the royal jet for your trip to cambridge at this rate

#145: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:23 am

Yes Veta I quite understand your problem with him.

Have you seen anything of the young minx who is trying to steal him away from you? Or that reprehensible member of the Privy Council who has been making such outrageous statements about my wayward nephew?

Oh and Nell, you are quite correct, Rafe will most defaintely not be using any of the Royal transport to meet up with members of the public. Who ever put such a notion into his head!

HRH

#146: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:29 am

A close friend of mine met this female on Monday. From all reports she seems a nice young lady, which makes her behaviour with ragards to Rafe most inexplicable. Perhaps he has changed her personality only where he is concerned.

#147: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:30 am

If I find that he has been dabbling in witchcraft again there will be serious trouble.

I warned him last time that he would lose his position, when is he going to learn that I mean what I say.

#148: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:31 am

Witchcraft? He has been dabbling in that? Then certainly I am well out of that relationship!

#149: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:34 am

I fear it may be the case, but we should wait to see what he has to say for himself.

I would agree though, you are best off well away from him if it is true. As for the other young woman perhaps she can be made to see sense, to break this infatuation somehow.

#150: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:50 am

Perhaps she already has. She has not been seen in this neighbourhood recently, has she?
I would like to think also that Rafe could be brought to his senses, but that I very much doubt.

#151: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 1:39 pm

Final applications for places in the bunker, please.

#152: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 5:20 pm

Well, it all depends if you're letting that cad Rafe in or not!

#153: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 5:25 pm

No, because all his relatives will try to bomb the bunker!

#154: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 5:35 pm

*heaves sigh of relief and reserves a spot in the bunker!*

#155: Author: Monkeys of Rage (c),

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 8:22 pm

Prrrrretty lady!

Roxalanne cherie. Come away wiz me and we will make ze so beautiful music togezzer.

A woman of your stature must surely recognise lust when she meets it.

Rowf! Rowf!

And dearest Jennie, ma bon amie. Permittez moi to bunker down wiz you too.

#156: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 8:45 pm

HRH Roxalanne of Mirania wrote:

Oh and Nell, you are quite correct, Rafe will most defaintely not be using any of the Royal transport to meet up with members of the public. Who ever put such a notion into his head!

HRH

Rafe stamps his foot and has a tantrum........
"But Auntie Roxyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.........."

#157: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 8:59 pm

Rafey Wafey, pleathe let me come with you! I pwomithe to be good and not giggle when you and your new girlfwend are kiththing!

Last edited by Tamara Helston on Fri May 14, 2004 9:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

#158: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 9:08 pm

Oh for heavens sake Tamara!!!!
I've TOLD you time and time again! Dates are for TWO people, not three!!!
Look, why don't you get together with Maxie, it might even stop him pinching my y-fronts!!!!!

#159: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 9:20 pm

Bu-but Rafey, you know how I will cwy and cwy until I am thick if you don't let me come out with you.

Bethideth, Auntie Roxanne thaid you could have the jet if you took me with you.

#160: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 9:53 pm

*falls over laughing, moaning weakly*

#161: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:16 pm

It'th not nithe to laugh at otherth afflicthionth!

#162: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:21 pm

Awwww! Tammykins!!!
Come and give your big bruv a cuddle! Tell me who upset you and I will beat them up!!!

#163: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:23 pm

Wafey, it wath that Pim perthonage. The wath tho mean to me!

And may I come with you when you and Lithette meet up, pleathe?

I pwomithe to be good thith time!

#164: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:25 pm

Tamara my dear, I advise you most strongly to leave Rafe alone. He is not nice company to be with any more. I do not know who had corrupted him, but I would not like you to be tainted too.

#165: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:28 pm

ELISAVETA ARNSONIRA!!!!!!!!!

How DARE you try and turn my own sister against me????????

#166: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:31 pm

But Elithaveta, I have to love my own brother - no matter what you think of him he will alwayth be Wafey to me.

Maybe you are jutht jealouth coth you haven't got a lovely big brother all of your very own? It'th no reathon to try and turn thiblingth againtht each other though.

#167: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:34 pm

I am concerned for you my dear, not jealous. How could I be jealous when I have never missed having a borther or a sister. I am concerend that your sweet mind might be turned by his ways which are far too adult for you to comprehend. I did not say stop loving him, just to keep away from him.

#168: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:36 pm

OK, Elithaveta, I thall forgive you for your cruel wordth about my beloved brother - but I thtill think he ith a thuitable companion for me - nobody elthe in thith family hath ever taken thuch good care of me ath Wafey.

#169: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:38 pm

Then stay my dear. But it would be best to leave him alone with his paramour.

#170: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:39 pm

What'th a paramour Elithaveta? I don't think I have come acroth that word before.

Ith it thomething like hith tinker toyth?

#171: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:40 pm

I think that would be an accurate description.

#172: Author: Jennifer Craddock,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 10:58 pm

RAPHAEL HELSTON!!!!!!

How could you betray me so, my beloved and enter into relations with another woman when you are MARRIED to me.

Rafe and I were married in secret a few years ago, and now we have our own bundle of joy Teresita. How could you betray poor Tessie-wessie!!!

I have been abandoned, what will become of me!!!

#173: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:01 pm

Oh HELL!!!!!!!!!

How the heck did you find this site?????

#174: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:08 pm

Wafey? Ith it twoo? Am I weally an auntie to Tewithita?

#175: Author: Jennifer Craddock,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:08 pm

Well with the allowance you pay me I can afford to have many people shadowing you, looks as if it was money worth spent!!!

Also I enjoy a good read, and Miss Brent-Dyer is quite excellent

#176: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:12 pm

I would like to offer you a home, my dear. We are both well out of any relationship with that bounder. He should be rail-roaded out of any self-respecting Kingdom.

#177: Author: Jennifer Craddock,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:29 pm

Its a very kind offer Veta, and I know Tessie would be happy with you.

But I've become accustomed to living in great comfort, so I would need to be reassured that you could offer me a similar lifestyle.

And dear Mirania, it would be a wrench to leave it

#178: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 11:36 pm

Jennifer you forget. I am the heir to a throne.

#179: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 12:17 am

Ohhhhhh I have just caught up with this ....... it is absolutely hysterical!! Smile

#180: Author: Annie,

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 8:52 am

Good heavens! This is hilarious!

#181: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 10:45 am

Why do you find the twialth and twibulathionth of my family hythterical and hilawiouth?

#182: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 12:49 pm

I am deeply deeply shocked.

Firstly, Tamara dearest child, stop speaking like a 3 year old, you've been told before, members of the Royal Family speak properly or they do not speak at all. If you continue to lisp it will only result in you having to be supervised by your governess at all times, do you understand.

Rafe, I trust that your marriage to Jennifer is in name only, for the sake of the child. If so, it can be overlooked and the unfortunate lady put to the side before your wedding to Elisaveta. If of course, Elisaveta still wants you, which from the tone of her recent comments I doubt. You will of course need to discuss this with her father the King.

Jennifer, I trust that my son has acknowledged his plight troth to the princess of Belsornia. If he has acknowledged your son as his own, and there are no other claims as to paternity, then we will arrange a financial settlement for you and a change of residency. I understand that Australia is a very nice country.

Elisaveta, dearest child, please do not trouble yourself over my tiresome family. If you are willing to honour the plight troth then a speedy marriage might be the best option. I can arrange a diplomatic posting for Rafe, for a couple of years at a great distance from our two countries, you could visit him for short periods if you wished.

Finally, dearest Monkey's of Rage (c) you forget yourself surely to address my in such a manner. Kindly desist or the Royal Guards will be asked to deal with you, on a permenant basis.

And with that said I am afraid I must go lie down and rest, the trials and tribulations of my family are highly exhausting.

HRH

#183: Author: Jennifer Craddock,

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 1:12 pm

Dearest Roxalanne

I have heard noting of a plight troth until I stumbled across this disscussion, and then I felt I must speak out to save dear Elisaveta form sorrow and pain.

My daughter has been acknowledged, and can have no other father. Dear Rafe how in love we were, and how young I was. I gave up my music for him, and for a while the sacrifice was worth while.

Im afraid Australia would be impossible. Tessie-wessie is such a frail child and harh climate would be too much for her. Im am interested in coming to some terms for you. I had my maid make out a list of summary items, that I will need straight away.

A private yacht, meeting royal standards
A private train, steam of course
A Daimler
A Bugatti
A Maserati
An Alfa Romeo
A city home, a country home, and a holiday home in Cornwall so Tessie can learn about where I grew up
Three maids for myself
Two maids for Tessie, also a nursery maid and Matron
The guarentee of an average of three new dresses a day, both for Tessie and I. Often I wear more, but I shall have to forgoe.
Then there will have to be an allowance both for me and Tessie. I expect that can be privately arranged. Its so ugly discussing money in public!!!

#184: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 4:42 pm

You don't want much do you Jenny. talk about jumping on the bandwagon. I wouldn't be surprised if Princess Elizaveta changed her mind about offering you a home ofter that little display of greed.

#185: Author: Jennifer Craddock,

Posted: Sat May 15, 2004 6:59 pm

Im am quite shocked at your accusations of greed. My priority as always, is my darling Tessie. She should be able to grow up in the circumstances to which she is used, and to which she deserves, and it is up to me as her mother to protect her interests.

If Elisaveta feels fit to change her mind, then I will have to stay in Mirania, where at least Rafe is duty bound to look after me and his daughter.

I hope my maid makes this clear when she types this up.

Rafe, I fear I must communciate in secret with you, please rescue me from this imprisonment with Jennifer, I love you dearly, please save me, P

#186: Author: Maximilian Batiste, Location: Privy Council, Mirania

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 11:07 am

I did not steal any Y-fronts. It was all a complete misunderstanding. Oh, your Duke-ness, I see how you are conspired against. If you are in need of comfort, support, or a shoulder to cry on, you know you need only ask. I would be proud to offer my support, and my body, to the cause.

#187: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 11:47 am

HRH Roxalanne of Mirania wrote:

Jennifer, I trust that my son has acknowledged his plight troth to the princess of Belsornia. If he has acknowledged your son as his own, and there are no other claims as to paternity, then we will arrange a financial settlement for you and a change of residency. I understand that Australia is a very nice country.

Aaaargh!!!! Can open, worms everywhere!!
Auntie Roxy! Are you saying that you are really my mother???????
And why have you given little Tessie a sex change??????

And Maxie, I can see my y-fronts, (and my jockstrap from when I played polo,) pinned on your bedroom wall!!!

#188: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 12:05 pm

Rafe I was, as I am sure that you are aware, using the term son in a purely regal manner, after all, as Queen and supreme ruler of Mirania all my subjects are as children too me. Oh, and if I have to remind you again about addressing me in public I will send you to work in our embassy in deepest darkest Peru.

Mr Batiste, your presence is required in the offices of the head of the Privy Council. Immediately. This is not negotiable and if you run away I will send the hunt out.

Miss Craddock. You forget yourself, firstly, you do not address the ruler of your country in such a manner, and don't try blaming it on your poor innocent maid as a typographical error. Your scheming, money grabbing opportunism will not be tolerated. You say you are suprised at the accuasations of greed, personally I feel that this Pat woman has been very gentle with you.

An allowance for yourself and your daughter to enable you to live comfortably will be more than a sufficiency. I would remind you that I will not be responsible for any payments, maintenance is a matter bettween yourself and my nephew and in no way can be the responsibility of the Royal House of Mirania.

I would however point that as the Supreme Ruler and law maker of this country it is quite conceiveable that your daughter could be removed from your care and bought up by her father if I felt it would be in her interest.

#189: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 12:13 pm

Excuse me, your majesty, but I have to ask! Do you REALLY think that Rafe, I beg your pardon, the Duke, is suitable to bring up an innocent child? I can't help feeling that the poor child would suffer!

#190: Author: Elizaveta of Belsornia,

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 12:37 pm

Cousin Roxelanne

I am afraid that in the light of the demands made by that person that I can no longer extend the offer of a home to her and her daughter. I have never come across such a blatant case of greed in my life. As for the claim that it is for her daughter, that is nothing short of rubbish. Her daughter can have no need of any of the items she demands. I felt sorry for her, but she has spurned my offer as inadequate though it was made in kindness.

Elizaveta

#191: Author: Jennifer Craddock,

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 12:54 pm

Elisaveta

Considering that it was from my kindness in the first place that you discovered the true nature of Rafe's behaviour, I feel you could be a little more civil, your accusations of greed are quite hurtful. However, I am thankful I didn't accept your invitation, I don't think Belsornia would have suited darling Tessie.

Roxalanne

You are obviously suffering from some mental condition, with your illusions of tyranny, and the suggestion that Rafe would be a suitable guardian for Tessie quite shocks me. You should remember that your position still relys heavily on the goodwill of your people, and a certain secret in my possession about your parentage.

#192: Author: HRH Roxalanne of Mirania, Location: Mirania

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 12:56 pm

Dearest Cousin

I am not at all surprise or disappointed by your withdrawal of the offer of hospitality for that woman. It in no way reflects on you badly and I urge you to think nothing further about the matter.

I shall just have to find somewhere else to send her when I banish her from the kingdom

Vikki - you make an extremely valid point and one which I feel in light of my nephew's recent conduct requires further consideration. How would you feel about acting as guardian to young Tessie??

Ms Craddock - oh dear, resorting to blackmail. Perhaps that and the charge of treason really should be investigated by the chief of police.

#193: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 4:26 pm

Hilarious. How much more will we be able to stand?

#194: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 4:41 pm

Oh, Rafe, Rafe! *weeps* I can stand this torment no longer. Come, let us run away to a tropical isle where we can play with balloons undisturbed! I care not about your alliance with this 'Jennifer', who is clearly a Bad Egg. Let us spurn her and make frisky love in the sun.

#195: Author: Rafe,

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 5:55 pm

Dearest Lisette! that sounds wonderful! When can you be ready to go?

#196: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 5:55 pm

Your highness, I'm honoured, but I'm really not very good with small children! Maybe Auntie Pat would be a better choice?

#197: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 8:15 pm

Seems to me anyone but her actual parents would be a suitable choice

*Choking with laughter over Rafe's sig*

#198: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 9:15 pm

I believe that young children should be brought up by younger people than myself. I'm sure that there's plenty of young women who would be pleased to help.

#199: Author: Tamara Helston,

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 9:25 pm

Jennifew, thinthe my auntie Roxalanne ith being tho tho mean to me, what thay you and I dath off to Hawaii for a quick holiday where I can get to know my little niethe much bettew - I thould pwobably point out at thith time that I have thwiped Wafe'th cwedit cawdth and cath tho thith holiday would be on me!

And I would tho like to blow the pwovewbial rathbewwieth at auntie.

#200: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 10:21 pm