Bruno's winter adventure (FCS - communal)
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1: Bruno's winter adventure (FCS - communal) Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:11 am

Ok, Rupert came up with this idea watching my dogs race around in the snow after a couple of days where it had been too icy for them to go out. I really don't have the time to expand this and work on Felicity so I am opening it up for everyone else to help out with!!

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Bruno sat in his favourite place, the large French windows in the lounge, looking out at the garden. For the last five days it had been difficult to see more than a metre from the glass as the blizzard had swirled snowflakes in the air. Now the snow had settled, last night had been clear and a hard frost had formed on top. Although the sun was shining on the garden and surrounding countryside there was no heat to it and nothing stirred in the white stillness.

Bruno was bored, during the blizzard he had only been allowed out briefly to relieve himself and being an adventurous adolescent male he felt frustrated by the lack of exercise. He’d tried to liven things up by racing round the halls, helping Anna in the kitchen but it hadn’t worked. With the children away and the master out of the house there was only the mistress to seek attention from. He’d tried to get her to play but when he put his great big paws up on her desk for attention she’d yelled at him again and shut him in the lounge.

Bruno sighed, his large dark brown eyes looked mournful, his markings, the white blaze in the centre of his forehead surrounded by the deep chestnut brown of the rest of his head seemed to furrow in concentration. Very gently for a dog of his size he pushed his body against the window. He could feel the give in the centre and began to concentrate his efforts there but something was stopping the door from opening. He jumped up to see if a higher spot would open it and as he came back down to earth his paw caught on the brass handle, pressing into down.

The door sprung open, letting in an icy blast of air. Bruno sniffed deeply and quietly made his way out into the garden. His large round paws acted as snow shoes preventing him from sinking. For a while he frolicked around the garden, diving into snow drifts, getting entagled in leafless hedges and digging the snow to find the frozen plants. At the perimeter of the gardens was a wall, which appeared lower than usual with the snow piled up against it. With one last look back at the still and silent house Bruno lept over the wall to freedom and the wide open spaces of the Swiss countryside.

 

#2:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 7:44 pm

Oooh! This is great!! please carry on Kate, or someone!!! What will Bruno do?

 

#3:  Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet! PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 7:50 pm

Laughing I never can continue these sorts of things but i hope soemone does soon!

 

#4:  Author: Marianne, Location: Bournemouth PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 8:11 pm

yay! lol! Laughing
MORE! (from someone)

 

#5:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:41 am

He plowed his way along the road, and up the drive to the school, a route that he knew very well. To his disgust, there was no sign of any of the girls outside, though the low hum of voices told him that they were in the building. Unable to find a way in, since all the dorrs were shut agianst the cold, he turned away, back down the drive, with no-one the wiser of his visit. He hesitated outside the gate, sniffing the air to see if he could smell anything interesting. The aroma that met his sensitive nostrils made his eyes gleam, and he trotted off down the road, sure in the knowledge that romance awaited him.

 

#6:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:45 am

This is FCS...hmm, I can see some fun here...OK

Bruno trotted down the path quickly, the cold wind serving only to make him more amourous. He turned in at the gate to the Aldernest and went round the house, breaking into a run, his large shaggy body pounding as his paws hit the path, sliding on a patch of snow and coming to rest at the foot of....

 

#7:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:52 am

...a tall tree. At the other end of the garden he could see a kennel - or rather soemthing the shape of a kennel, though obviously not made for a handsome creature of his own proportions. The enticing odour was coming form the kennl, however, so he bounded across and stuck his head inside. In front of him was a dainty lady, looking at him with adoring eyes. The fact that she was a Daschund meant nothing to Bruno, and he....

 

#8:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:08 am

....stuck his head in through the doorway of the kennel, unfortunately, not being built for a beasty of his proportions, he became firmly wedged......

 

#9:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:11 am

He heaved backwards, shaking his massive head, while the poor little animal inside yelped as she was flung from side to side. Fianlly Bruno ended up back by the tree, and the kennel smacked into it with a reounding crash. Pieces of wood flew in all directions, and Rachel - the Daschund - landed up in a snow drift.

 

#10:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:21 am

Bruno shook the last bit of kennel off and jumped into the snowdrift. Being a large dog this had an interesting effect. The snow all around went wheeeeeeeee, splaaaatt, and Rachel, who had just managed to dig her way out was burried once again, this time under a hairy mound of St Bruno.

 

#11:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:23 am

Bruno, of course, being a red blooded male, proceeded to make the most of his opportunities and did what dogs do.......

 

#12:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 1:24 am

That was fine by Bruno, as the witch had him securely in her.....

 

#13:  Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne/Hamilton until 11 September PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 2:21 am

*shaking head in disbelief* Isn't anything sacred anymore?

 

#14:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 2:25 am

Nope!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#15:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:36 am

Sacred? What does that mean? Ah yes, it's in the dictionary between Drabble and Truth.

 

#16:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:09 pm

D, S, T, yes, that's right Jennie, glad to see that you know your alphabetical order.

The witch had poor Bruno firmly in her grasp and was not about to let him go. This suited Bruno just fine, Rachel smelt good, very good. He sniffed, and let his nose root around and then extending his tongue gave her an enourmous lick right across her face.
"Eurgh, dog breath!" exclaimed the witch, loosening her grip tightly. This gave Bruno the opportunity to do what he had been longing to do all morning, ever since he first smelt the enticing smell. He opened his mouth and took an enormous bite of...

 

#17:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 9:52 pm

empty air, for Rachel has whisked herself away just in time! Unable to make up her mind whether she was a witch or a Daschund, she sat on her broomstick, flickering between the two.

 

#18:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 12:12 am

Bruno turned around, confused. He had been about to have his long chased after lunch, when it disappeared from under him. He gave a howl and then turned to search for more stable food. He padded back to Freudesheim, unaware that he was being followed by a daschund on a broomstick.

 

#19:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 12:43 am

However, he soon realised when she shot a bolt of lightening at his backside.......

 

#20:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:36 pm

that some times his instincts let him down.

Rachel finally dismounted from her broomstick and after what appeared, to the two bats watching from their upside down position in the tree, to be a very strange sort of one sided tango she finally regained possession of her own true shape.

"those herb's i got from the visiting apocrathy must have been tainted" she muttered under her breath as she hauled out a large coil of rope. Tying the St Bernard's feet securely she began to pull him into the house, anyone observing would again have been reminded of the theory that small women dressed in black can lift/pull/carry at least three times their own body weight.

When Bruno finally came to he......

 

#21:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:43 pm

.....found that he'd been spatchcocked........
























.....which was as nasty as it sounded, although perhaps not quite as the reader may interpret......

 

#22:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:46 pm

I really think that a St Bernard is far to big to be spatchcocked!!

unless it has some other meaning that i am not aware of!

 

#23:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:51 pm

When Bruno finally came to, he was under the bed in Jack's dressing room, sharing the space with 3 odd socks (rather badly darned), the remains of what had once been a take away Pizza but now had mutated into a green furry life form and one of Anna's .....

 

#24:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 6:11 pm

delicious lemon biscuits smothered in a positive featherbed of whipped cream, now unfortunately green with mould.

 

#25:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 6:56 pm

Which Bruno, with the lack of finesse that most dogs have about eating, wolfed down and then snuggled up to the socks which had such a strong odour of his master that he felt almost comforted after his terrible experience with Rachel the witchy daschund. He then heard a strange noise and pricking up his ears, he peeped from under the counterpane and saw ...

 

#26:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 9:45 pm

Two of the Maynards' special breed of Attack Gerbils doing the tango across the bedroom floor.

Now Bruno really hated those gerbils. He had been going to have a nice warm tasty snack of baby gerbil one day, when the parents, seeing their offspring in danger had bitten Bruno in a place too vulgar to mention on this board. Suffice it to say that the vet had hardly been able to see to sew up the resulting wounds because of the tears of laughter running down his face.

 

#27:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 10:44 pm

Bruno withdrew to think this through. After a while he thought "I have a cunning plan" and .....

 

#28:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:00 pm

Dashed from the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

 

#29:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:09 pm

Slipping on the rug placed on the highly polished landing, he went headlong into ...

 

#30:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:43 pm

.. Jack's warm embrace. The p[air sat deown heavily on the floor - overcome with the emotion of the moment. Jack whispered sweet nothings into Bruno's furry little ears and Bruno responded by . . .

 

#31:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 3:35 am

.....cocking his leg and peeing all over Joey's wedding dress.....

 

#32:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:06 am

ROFL ROFL ROFL Brilliant Vikki.

 

#33:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:15 am

VIKKI! Really!

At which Jack came to his senses and quickly took the wedding dress down to the kitchen and put it in the washing machine. Adding a good dose of bleach, some washing powder, and just for luck, some Jeyes Fluid. He closed the machine and carefully set it to a delicate setting, before bending down to pet Bruno who has realised he was going to be in trouble with Missus.

what he didn't realise, was that Bruno's tail - gyrating like a helicopter blade - had turned the controls to '1, boil wash'.

Jack decided that he and Bruno would go for a good walk (he knew nothing of Bruno's earlier peregrinations.) They set off down the drive, little realising that .....

 

#34:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:33 am

The combination of chemicals in the washing machine was boiling up, and would cause a massive explosion........

 

#35:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:00 am

... releasing a cloud of ammonia into the air over the platz. the deadly gas cloud wafted in the direction of .....

(there was a build up of urine in that dress as this was not the first time Bruno had done this)

 

#36:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:34 am

The school buildings, where the girls were all hard at work. At that hour of the day, any good CS girl was slogging her guts out, so that she could enjoy the out-of-school things with a clear conscience. Work during working hours was ingrained on their very souls!

 

#37:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 12:11 pm

Some of them had had heart attacks due to this, but the bodies were easily disposed of down a large crack in a glacier. Meanwhile, the cloud of ammonia had gently descended to rest over the school like a mass of evil.

 

#38:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 2:05 pm

This being the CS with at least 2 Guide companies being constantly prepared for any emergencies and all the girls being taught to be strong women and not .... Gas masks were part of the uniform and as soon as the state of the art alarm sounded (bought at a knock down price from a dodgy arms dealer as part of a deal), the girls were down on the floor, quickly putting on their gas masks, while Bill analysed the composition of the gas and produced an antidote (Yes, jsut like that Razz , she's clever).

Meanwhile, Jack and Bruno were heading off into the hills with not a care in the world, little knowing that .....

 

#39:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 2:12 pm

...even as they walked off the entire Chalet School was sallying out to take its revenge.

 

#40:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 2:35 pm

The girls immeditely organised themselves into their attach patrols (they were well drilled) and with the use of carving knifes that their nun friend Robin regulary sent them, charged off.

 

#41:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:18 pm

Since the training course on SAS tactics, the previous term, all the girls had been longing for a chance to put their training into action. They quickly donned fatigues and black face paint, pulled on their balaclavas and picked up the aforementioned knives.

Little did they know that NATO were carrying out a highly secret exercise in the area, involving the SAS, Ghurkas, US Navy SEALS (geography not being a hot topic at the pentagon), the French Foreign Legion and (although they did not know it) a troop of boy scouts who thought this would be a lark.

Meanwhile, Jack was wandering along in the pristine snow, enjoying making footprints and, from time to time bursting into song.

Bruno was flushing plot bunnies from their burrows and barking furiously as he rushed about trying to catch first one and then another - but they were to clever for him. Eventally he gave up ran back to Jack, just as ....

 

#42:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:39 pm

An SAS patrol attacks them. Jac and Bruno....

 

#43:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:51 pm

... throw off their disguises and become .....

 

#44:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:58 pm

Dr Who and K9!

 

#45:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:16 pm

just as the girls came face to face with the SAS detachment.

A short, sharp skirmish ensued, and the victors ran off in triumph, bearing DR Who and K9 with them, for nefarious purposes of their own.

The remnants of the SAS patrol slowly picked themselves up off the ground.
'God, it was like being attacked by a pack of vicious, starving wolves.' said one poor soldier who was wincing with the pain from his wounds, and an arm broken in at least four places. 'Who the hell was that?'

'That was the Combined Guide Patrol of the Chalet School,' said a battle-hardened Sergeant. ' Believe me, I tried to tell the MOD not to hold exercises up here. I'd rather face the Vogon Constructor Fleet than the girls from the Chalet School'

 

#46:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:24 pm

Dr Who (Tom Baker, my favourite Wink ) had been tied up with his own scarf and K9 had been subdued by the simple expedient of tipping him on his back. The members of the Combined Guide Patrol of the Chalet School (also known as the Swallow Patrol when in disguise as ordinary Girl Guides) melted into the trees as quietly as ghosts, carrying their prisoners with them.

Maintaining radio silence and communicating only by hand signals, they decided to extend their manoeuvres as this was one of the best training exercises they had been on in a long time.

Their leader, known only as NW, gestured and her team set off up the almost hidden track to a Shepherd's Hut, especially constructed to be a nuclear shelter and locked their captives inside. Being British, they humanely left a bottle of Baileys and a bowl of water for them.

They crept silently up to the glacier where a party of US Navy SEALS were vainly trying to launch an inflatable dinghy - they were relying on sophisticated technology which analysed the glacier as water.

The CGP's eyes glistened as they saw the weaponry before them and drawing their knives they ...

 

#47:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:40 pm

*gasps for breath, having giggled myself into hysteria at your combined madness*

So what happened to Rachel?

 

#48:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:57 pm

Possess your soul in patience, KB. She will be back mwaaaa mwaaaa etc.

 

#49:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:47 pm

I'm so glad to hear it!

 

#50:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 8:52 pm

.....started to rush the US patrol. However, when they saw what they were trying to do, the nearly fell about laughing.
"If that's the best you lot can do, we'll leave you in peace," gasped NW. "No wonder you have problems with friendly fire!!" and before the startled Seals could do anything, the CS girls melted away into the surrounding terrain as if they had never been.
"My Gawd, what the H..l was that?" asked the officer in charge.
"Guess that the CS Guide Company that the Limeys were talking about." responded his Sergeant. "I can see why they were so wary now!"

Meanwhile, the Guides continued on.....

 

#51:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 9:07 pm

...meeting the boy scouts (and a couple of girls you know!)

 

#52:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 9:17 pm

This time they were more wary, watching their prey before attacking. Boys, and especially scouts were something rarely discussed at the Chalet School, and portrayed as slightly frightening. They spread out, surrounding the scout camp, silently watching in horror as the scouts engaged in the ritual toasting of the teddy bear over their camp fire. At a signal from NW the guides took out their knives and their anti tank missiles, those tents looked very secure after all, but no tent would withstand a missile attack.

NW sounded her whistle and the guides rushed into the camp, war cries sounding. The tents were missiled (Extend you vocab by creating new words) and the scouts mercilessly tickled. The knives were used to cut the neckers and toggles into tiny pieces that the helpless scouts were forced to eat before being marched back to join the other prisoners in the bunker, sorry, Shepherds Hut.

NW then gave her next order and the guides rubber their hands in glee.

 

#53:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 9:23 pm

And having rubbered their hands they...

 

#54:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 9:42 pm

.... decided that, as they were having so much fun, they would extend the exercise into the night. they risked a quick radio message (in unbreakable code, of course) to the 2nd battalion (aka bluetits) back at school with orders to divert Matey who was the only person in the world they would admit to being scared of) and set off across the snowy slopes to where a strange wailing noise was echoing across the snow. Pausing only to collect some ammunition and 3 camels from the French Foreign Legion who were wandering in circles muttering "Où est le sable?" apart from one ex cockney who was saying "Where's the ****ing sand?" and so were no match for the fearsome CGP.

They very efficiently triangulated the position of the wailing (earning extra marks in their next orienteering lesson) and found a sad witchy daschund crying "nobody loves me! The board won't let me in!"

Touched to the heart by this (for they were all destined to become wives and mothers some day and had overdeveloped maternal insticts), they crowded round to see if they could help. On determining that the poor soul was named Rachel and that she was trying to log into a discussion board, they quickly erected their portable satellite dish, phoned the Pentagon to have a satellite diverted and powered up the hamsters in the lap top computer.

then ...

 

#55:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:08 pm

The witch found her way to the keyboard and began to type....

 

#56:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:15 pm

"Watch this and take heed!" cried NW, "we have found a master on the keyboard"

"Ooh, Aah!" cried the girls of the CGP. "this witchy daschund is worthy to become a member of our Brigade!" So they ...

 

#57:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:37 pm

enrolled her on the spot. Little did they know that they were adding to their number one of the worlds foremost experts on methods of ridding the world of it's population (RWP). They soon found this out...

 

#58:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 11:15 pm

..the hard way, as Rachel the witchy daschund began to despatch them, one by one, in the most gruesome possible way, a tried and tested method of dispatch. She diverted an aircraft flying nearby, and engaging all her timing skills, wandered to the bushes at the critical moment. The onborad loo discharged its contents, which smashed into the guides, scattering their many parts in every direction.

 

#59:  Author: Rachel the Witch,  PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:09 am

ow ow ow ow ow!

very funny guys!

Rachel the Quidditch

 

#60:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:16 am

Totally bizarre! But so giggliatious. Am I missing something though? Can't you log on Rachel?

 

#61:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:43 am

Welcome, Rachel. We hope you don't mind being a witchy daschund?

Meanwhile, back at the Shepherd's Hut (Shh! nuclear bunker) we left out Dr Who ("who?" someone asked. "Oh, pay attention!" exclaimed the narrator!) aka Jack Maynard, together with K9 aka Bruno. also present were an entire troop of Boy Scouts (sorry, don't know how many, they are milling around too fast to count).

What none of them had noticed in the corner (doh!) was a strange blue structure with a light on top.

Eventually, after he had managed to escape from his scarf by using his strange powers, Dr Who noticed this and cried. "The Tardis!" Whereupon all the Boy Scouts noticed him for the first time, stopped milling around and cried "Who are you?"
"I am Dr Who" said the doctor proudly (actually a little miffed that none of the boys remembered him)

"Who?" They chorused.

"Shut up!" bellowed the Doctor "That wasn't funny the first time!"

He rubbed his hands together in a characteristic gesture, tossed aside his curly hair, tripped over his scarf and strode to the Tardis. Entering, he strode to the controls followed by 36 scouts (the Tardis had an automatic counter on the door).

K9, meanwhile had decided that enough was enough and that one more trip in that dodgy Tardis could be one too many. He went to the doors and using his amazing technological powers, opened them, changed back into his Bruno disguise and went off to find some more plot bunnies to chase.

Dr Who reached for the controls, pressed a button (which caused pretty lights to appear which made the scouts go "Ooh, Aah!" and .....

 

#62:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:55 am

... that was the last words they ever uttered. Unfortunately for them, nobody had thought to forewarn them of the dangers of space/time travel. Therefore they had forgotten to take their medicinal hankerchiefs and so they all exploded, spraying the doctor and the interior of the tardis with the remains of 36 splattered boy scouts.



(Sorry guys - I'm in the mood to kill tonight!)

 

#63:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:05 am

I've just read the latest holocaust and followed some of your struggles with the board so I don't blame you Rachel.

The Doctor ignored the mess, after all he had seen worse in his time, and just made a note to have the Tardis valeted when he reached a car wash.

The Tardis did it's usual flashing and whirring and the cameraman shook his camera while the Doctor held on to the control panel and rocked about. As usual, it took several adjustments to persuad the Tardis to function. This was unfortunate for the Doctor as Bruno had left the door open and so breached the stealth technology which kept the nuclear shelter hidden from satellites.

Regular readers will recall that a satellite had been diverted to allow Rachel (aka the witchy daschund) to access the CBB. Unerringly interpreting the signals from the satellite in the second window she had open to speed up yibbling. She gasped and told NW what she had discovered.

Immediately NW .....

 

#64:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:05 am

This had a most unfortunate effect on the dilapidated machine. It started to spin faster and faster, twisting and turning through space, and the middle of the control panel bounced up and down faster and faster. At last the machinery had had enough, and the Tardis exploded, taking with it Alpha Centauri and all the inhabitants of the associated planets.


*I can kill by the billion!!* Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Very Happy

 

#65:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:08 am

Wow! Pat, we've now got alternative endings. This is like one of those children's books where you decide what happens next and get on a different track!

Come on, someone! I challenge you to tie the 2 together!

 

#66:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 2:46 pm

Unfortunately the noise had awoken the Juniors at the Chalet School. These dear little souls, also known as the Pansyand Petunia Patrols of the CS Brownies decided that in the Absence of their Brown Owl, (a Miss X Grey) they would get up, go out and have some fun with the nice soldiers.

After dressing themselves in their weekend clothes, they lifted up the floorboards in their dorms and took out their favourite toys.

One girl moaned,'No, not a Kalashnikov again! I want an Uzi this time.'

 

#67:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 4:24 pm

Little did they know that there had been a mutiny in the Bluetits who didn't think it fair that the Swallows were having fun (erm, I mean advanced training) while all they stayed at base.

the Bluetits kitted themselves up in winter camouflage, donned their infra red goggles with the cool range finders built in and absailed down the back wall of the CS. Splitting up, 3 girls crept to the bunker where the rocket launchers were stored and chose 3 patriot missiles, which they drove, not exactly quietly onto the track which led up the mountain. The other girls melted into the trees and crept quietly upwards.

As it happened the only beings to see them were Bruno and 3 plot bunnies who had now become good friends and were sitting on a log nibbling Tim Tams and drinking Baileys.

Meanwhile Dr Who was struggling to control the Tardis (the gyrations through time and space having sent a parallel Tardis 4.3 years into the past to Alpha Centauri) little knowing that Rachel was leading the 1st Battalion towards him. It was hot in the Tardis and the boy scout remains started to smell a little.

Footnote:
In another story which has no links with this, Astronomers were astonished to see Alpha Centauri explode. Taking their astronomical tables and great big calculators with all the extra buttons, they concluded that this had happened 4.3 years ago. They never did guess what had happened caused the explosion and concocted lots of lovely theories which ensured they got to go to lots of conferences in exotic places. so, at least they lived happily ever after!

As the first Battalion, led by Rachel on her broomstick (who was muttering, kill, kill for some unknown reason) reached the clearing where the now visible nuclear bunker was situated, suddenly .....

 

#68:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 4:34 pm

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Laughing tooooooo much!

 

#69:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 6:47 pm

I feel like I'm reading Douglas Adams! Ow! Ow! Ow!

 

#70:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 6:58 pm

KB wrote:
I feel like I'm reading Douglas Adams! Ow! Ow! Ow!


thanks for the compliment, KB. I love Hitch Hikers Guide. The logic is impeccable! It must have been a subconscious effect of the mention of the Vogon Constructor Fleet!

 

#71:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 7:29 pm

It was intended as such! And of course the logic works...

 

#72:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:04 pm

Rachel had now had her every wish fulfilled. She had a laptop with 50Gb Ram, an internet connection via the Pentagon. (she had opened yet another window and was downloading the specs for what claimed to be the most awesome weapon ever created) and was yibbling and drabbling at the same time while her broomstick, now guided by the latest smart bomb technology, flew unerringly towards the nuclear shelter.

The CGP meanwhile were keeping up easily as they were very fit, had regular bedtimes (normally) and ate a healthy diet. That they also had an emergency supply of performance enhancing drugs, helped a little too. They had abandoned the camels long before as being unsuited to the terrain.

In yet another unrelated story, the perfectly preserved remains of the camels were found at the foot of the glacier about 3,000 yrs later, leading to another round of conferences (this time for climatologists). The Guides had done yet another good deed.

Meanwhile, Bruno had thrown up from a surfeit of Tim Tams and Baileys, was wandering home with the wild plot bunnies trailing behind.

Suddenly, he sniffed! His missus was on her way home from Aldersnest with the big old pram which all her 14 or so children had used. Although Agatha was now 10, she looked like being the last and so was dressed in a woolly matinee coat and cute bonnet.

Joey fondly imagined that Bruno could sense her coming as he always came to meet her but it was really that the mattress was the original one and after 14 (or so) babies leaking onto it, the smell was easily detected by anyone human or animal. In fact some people would dive into the bushes, risking scratches and worse rather than be held up for hours while she told stories of her youth.

Joey was subjected to an enthusiastic licking by her faithful St Bernard (who liked to act in character). Noticing the bunnies, she picked them up and cuddled them, thus ensuring that her next book was rejected by her conservative publishers because it consisted of a series of gruesome murders and genocides. She never published another school story but went on to have a lucrative career writing horror stories.

Meanwhile the Brownies .....

 

#73:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:15 pm

*sobs quietly and wipes away tears of laughter*

 

#74:  Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:21 pm

..sadly influenced by Rachel's antics, decided that carving knives were too tame as an instrument of torture and/or murder.
Unfortunately, any murderous instincts they may have had were saboataged. RTW, remembering the immortal phrase' death by brownies' killed the lot and then used them in various unlikely poses as decoys to lure away her next victims.

 

#75:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2004 12:33 am

Joey idly noticed that the children had been building very realistic snowmen, some with red hair and some with red jackets, though it looked as though the paint had run. She thought it was a shame that some were missing a leg or arm and that one or two were headless.

Bruno cocked his leg against a couple of them.

The second battalion CGP, meanwhile had come up against the Gurkhas who were at least more at home in the mountains than the SEALS or French Foreign Legion but were no match for the girls. The girls contented themselves with taking their Khukris and gave them directions for climbing the Jungfrau. They also arranged to visit Nepal the next holidays for a return match.

 

#76:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:09 am

KB wrote:
*sobs quietly and wipes away tears of laughter*

*follows KB's example!!!*

 

#77:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:11 am

Sooooo funny. Glad I kept this one to read at home

 

#78:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 3:41 am

Aaawwww!! I was hoping there might've been a bit more since I last posted!!!!

 

#79:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:09 am

*offers Vikki a tissue*

 

#80:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:22 am

*is also very disappointed at the lack of story*

 

#81:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:31 pm

I've just learned the first rule of drabble writing - let 'em beg!!!

Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

More tonight!

 

#82:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:37 pm

*scowls at PatMac and waves sword in the hope that threatening will be more effective*

 

#83:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:42 pm

Having seen off the Ghurkas, the Second Battalion CGP looked for fresh fields to conquer.

They searched the entire area of the Gornetz Platz using the stealth technology that they had 'acquired' or 'borrowed' (ie stolen) when they had been on a training exercise with the Swiss Army. Having discovered that their story of being good, helpful Girl Guides who just wanted to find out about field catering so that they could organise a global GG camp made a wonderful cover for the theft of most of the Swiss Army's advanced weaponry, they had helped themselves liberally, and cached the weapons in various places on the platz.

They headed for their secret Survivalist hideout, and settled down to track RTW using advanced search devices. This was not as hard as it seemed, as RTW had forgotten that her broomstick had a GPS system which helped them to locate her.

So we leave the CGP, tucked up safely in their well-disguised cave on the Gornetz Platz. We leave because we are terrified of the vicious grins on their faces as they have just spotted...............................

 

#84:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:48 pm

*cheers at Jennie and waves sword enthusiastically*

I would carry on but am a) completely uninspired, and b) writing an essay.

 

#85:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:05 pm

Jo Maynard, who, finding Bruno missing (not to mention her husband!) had come outside to look for him. Bruno held a special place in her heart, as he had been given to her by an earlier generation of CS girls, who had lived in a kinder era.

 

#86:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:09 pm

.........an open window in the Maynard house, Freudesheim.

It took very little discussion for them to agree that a heat-seeking missile through the open window would put an end, once and for all, to the dreaded new girls' parties held by Jo Maynard.

The concensus was 'If I ever have to go to another of those parties, I'll be sick. If I've heard those b****y stories once, I've heard them a dozen times. What century does she think this is anyway?'
and
'If we can burn that pram, we'll be doing the world a favour. I could smell it coming when she was a mile off. I was lucky though, I managed to get behind a thick clump of bushes, so she couldn't see me.'

'Once we've seen them off, we've really got to step up our search for RTW, though. Think about what SHE could teach us.'
This last was from the youngest member of the company, one Pansy Smith, a delicate - looking girl with an angelic expresion, which in true CS fashion hid a heart of pure evil.

 

#87:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:16 pm

Meanwhile in the remains of Freudeshiem's kitchen, which thanks to the exploding washing machine resembled a scrap metal yard, two attack gerbils danced to the clockwork radio, which miraculously had survived.

Curiously, one of the gerbils was wearing a perfectly formed minature wedding dress, which had been found amongst the debris.

The rest of the platoon of attack gerbils were.............

 

#88:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:17 pm

*giggles at the double posting*

I'm sure you can manage to collate those......

 

#89:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:17 pm

PatMac wrote:
I've just learned the first rule of drabble writing - let 'em beg!!!


Ah, but on a communal FCS someone else can always change the story!!

 

#90:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:24 pm

...munching their way through large quanties of Anna's best lemon cakes before launching their attack. Unfortunately they ate so much, and the ingredients were so potent that they found themselves blowing up into huge balloons, so that all they could do was to roll out through the door to join their fellows.

 

#91:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:25 pm

Well!





















Twisted Evil











I'm not sure whether to be offended or not!

 

#92:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:29 pm

Decide not to be offended please! Laughing

just think you have a starring role in this, where as most of us end up as bit parts (literally) in holocaust!

 

#93:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:46 pm

Katarzyna wrote:
PatMac wrote:
I've just learned the first rule of drabble writing - let 'em beg!!!


Ah, but on a communal FCS someone else can always change the story!!


that's even better. Very Happy I had a wee bit in my head but would have been spreeing so I thought I'd wait and see if it would be picked up. Well worth the wait!

I love the miniature wedding dress! Laughing

 

#94:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:48 pm

Fortunately, the Attack Gerbils had rolled far enough down the sloping path to ensure that they were safe when the heat-seeking missile destroyed Freudesheim and all its inhabitants.

Seeing the explosion, followed by a firestorm, with one accord the CGP raised their fists in the air with a triumphant cry of 'YYYYeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssss!'

They then returned to their surveillance equipment in the hopes of tracking RTW, and powered up their comms equipment so that they could contact her immediately they saw her.

Alas, the staff of the San had overreacted, and called out the Police and most of the Swiss Army. The latter people quickly deployed themselves over the Platz, making the CGP immensely irritated.

'Right girls,' said one Camellia Burton, a leading light of UVa, 'this is the challenge of a lifetime, Let's get them.'

 

#95:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:07 pm

The SEALS, meanwhile had got bored with playing with their dinghies and trecked down to the Platz looking for people to kill. They saw the CGP (2nd battalion) preparing to ambush the Swiss Police and Army, interpreted the situation accurately and rushed back up to the San, thinking it would be a softer target. They met up with Bruno on the way and decided to adopt him as a mascot. Bruno was quite happy at this as he had always wanted to visit America and these guys looked like fun.

 

#96:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:47 pm

Oh, dear, poor Bruno!

 

#97:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 9:36 pm

Meanwhile the first battalion had arrived at the bunker. They entered cautiously and seeing the Tardis, opened the door and went in. The stench was by this time horrific but they were used to Joey’s pram so did not notice.

Dr Who (alias Jack Maynard just in case anyone comes late to this) recognised the fearsome band and quaked. The excited girls started pushing levers and pressing buttons while the Doctor ineffectively tried to bat their hands away. Rachel found a USB port and, plugging the laptop in, linked with the rather sick controls and attempted to mend them. Unfortunately, even this state of the art computer was unable to do much with the Tardis but a little of it’s power leaked back to the computer and she found she could now yibble and drabble in four dimensions.

NW eventually got the girls to stop by the simple expedient of knocking their heads together. Being a woman of the world and having met Derek the cute dalek, she knew that the incompetent man would be more trouble than he was worth and decided he would look better with a hole between his eyes. Drawing her trusty revolver, she calmly shot him and then blowing across the top to clear the smoke, felt pleased with herself. She remembered really handsome cowboys doing that in the films when she was young and it looked really cool.

The Doctor meanwhile was doing his usual trick of fading and reappearing and gradually he took the shape of a woman (the equal opportunities commission had been threatening to take the script writers to court for years) she was quite short, had long hair and a bottle of Baileys in her hand.

 

#98:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:21 pm

At least poor old Bruno is getting a PROPER walk for once - no ten minute parade along the Platz and back in charge of Rosli and half a dozen Maynard brats.

And I wonder who the mysterious new yibbling drunken doctor is?

NOT!!!!

 

#99:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:50 pm

The new Doctor stood up looking confused (but much more competent than any of the male Doctors) and said “Rachel, is that you?”

Rachel, however was not listening. She was simultaneously reprogramming the satellite into a new Rachelsynchronous orbit (causing the American military to go to DEFII state of readiness in the belief that the Chinese or the Russians or the Aliens supposedly in cold storage at Roswell were ready to attach the homeland), designing a new and revolutionary hat which included a GPS system and a neat little pocket to store a lipstick and posting a new chapter to her drabble.

NW looked in amazement at the Doctor and said “How do you know Rachel?” and then, never having seen the TV series added “And who are you?”

The new Doctor scowled. “You won’t believe the answer to your first question and I’ve been caught too many times by the second!”

 

#100:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:34 pm

Oka-ay........
More soon please!!!!!!

 

#101:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 12:45 am

Seeing that Rachel was on a roll with her drabble, and was unlikely to be pleased at being interrupted, the new Doctor looked round. "Quick," she said imperiously, "give me that spare computer!"

Ermintrude Carter looked slightly miffed. She was half way through a game of minesweeper and had a really high score. At a sign from her Platoon Leader, she reluctantly handed it over.

The Doctor quickly logged in and activated a programme linking with the infrared cameras surrounding the bunker.

Seeing strange shapes coming up the path, clad in full body armour and gas and chemical proof suits, she jumped to a conclusion.

"Cybermen!" she cried, "Coming this way!" and she moved to the controls of the Tardis.

"Wait" ordered NW, in a voice which had brought generations of schoolgirls to obedience, "We don't run from the enemy! what's our motto girls?"

As one, the platoon responded proudly. "Strong women, not spineless jellyfish!"

Meanwhile Rachel had just downloaded her hat design to Prada, finished her drabble and persuaded the Pentagon not to launch a pre-emptive strike on any of the countries they suspected of nicking their satellite. She turned to see if the teddies in her microwave were cooked. (she had given up the traditional cauldron as being old fashioned) and realised that she was a little bit behind the plot.

Meanwhile, the 2nd Brigade were homing in on RTWs broomstick (and dear readers, I'm sure you can guess what happens next)

 

#102:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 12:55 am

*Rapidly becomes hysterical at he thought of even trying to guess what will happen*

 

#103:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:50 am

Meanwhile .....

Joey, still calling for Bruno at the top of her lungs was being followed by 2 very fat attack ferrets, one of whom still had the remains of her wedding dress trailing behind it.

Meanwhile ......

Bruno, having been kitted out in a rather snazzy collar with big masculine spikes round it and fed cookies, everytime he gazed at one of the SEALs with big sad eyes, decided that as he had been renamed Buster, he could become selectively deaf and ignore Joey's shouts.

Meanwhile .....

Kate Adie had decided that these new developments were worthy of her talents and was striding towards the platz followed by her film crew.

Meanwhile ....

The doctors and nurses at the San were building barricades of bedpans to fend off the attack they feared.

 

#104:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 6:36 am

Oooowwwww! Ow, I ache with laughter! Ow, ow, ow! I particularly loved the Doctor's answer about being caught before!

 

#105:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:07 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL


More please anyone?

 

#106:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:15 pm

The new Doctor was still convinced that the Cybermen were coming. This was understandable because the CGP were completely outside her experience of time and space and the idea that there could possibly be more of them, did not enter her head. She quickly and competently performed the Crossover Drabble manoeuvre and instructed Marvin the Paranoid Android to close the door. This he did, complaining all the while about his brain being the size of a planet and all they asked him to do was open and close doors.

The CGP cried with one voice “That’s not fair!”

 

#107:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:31 pm

The girls immediately countermanded the order, and to the accompaniment of Marvin's continued moaning complaints, the girls swept out of the door of the hideout, and in a short but fierce confrontation, annihilated a complete Infantry Division of the Swiss Army.

Seeing that they had won this battle so easily was disappointing for all the girls.

'Just a load of big girls blouses, really.'

'Call that a work-out?'

'You lot are just greedy and selfish, I only managed to kill ninety.'

Finally, their complaints were cut short by a call from Camellia. 'Right everyone, back to the bunker, let's get something to eat, reload, and then we'll do another scan to see if some REAL opposition is on its way.'

 

#108:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:00 pm

Dr Who was in awe of this as she was still convinced that the enemy were Cybermen.

 

#109:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:19 pm

The CGP (2nd Batt) looked at te Doctor with contempt.

'They're not cybermen, dummy, they were just the Swiss Army. Anyway, don't worry about them, they're dead. Some more will be along soon, even if it's only to clean up. The Swiss aren't just cuckoo clocks and chocolate, you know. They're very clean and tidy people.

'Now, how are you with GPS systems?'

 

#110:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 6:32 pm

*giggles* I worry about you people sometimes...

 

#111:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 6:59 pm

KB wrote:
*giggles* I worry about you people sometimes...

*Bats eyelids, smiles innocently* Why?


"She won't know!" said Marvin, grumpily, "But I can get you to the Restaurant at the end of the universe."

Meanwhile ...

the gleam of the sun, reflecting on the six foot wall of bedpans surrounding the San, had confused the SEALs into thinking they were back home and they were all wearing swimming trunks and sunglasses and topping up their suntans while having a typical American barbecue. They had given Buster (aka Bruno) a REALLY big bone from the Texan cattle they were cooking and he had retreated to the shade, thinking he was in doggy heaven.

 

#112:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 7:05 pm

PatMac wrote:
KB wrote:
*giggles* I worry about you people sometimes...

*Bats eyelids, smiles innocently* Why?


Oh, no reason!

And you've got Marvin down perfectly!

 

#113:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 7:12 pm

He's one of my favourite characters! No, don't bother to psycho-analyse me. Twisted Evil

 

#114:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 7:14 pm

I love him too!

 

#115:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 8:06 pm

Laughing The discussion forum for my library system is called Marvin - after the same robot!!

 

#116:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 8:11 pm

Is there any chance of more?

 

#117:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 8:55 am

*Echoes Vikki's comment!*

 

#118:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 9:01 am

*joins in the query*

 

#119:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 12:03 pm

Meanwhile:

Every TV station in the world was following events in Switzerland and the tabloid papers were making claims of a cloud of madness gas being responsible.

All flights to and from Switzerland were grounded and all surrounding countries mobilised their troops and sent them to the borders.

UFO enthusiasts, and conspiracy theorists were having a field day.

3 new cults were formed by bearded men, who predicted the end of the world.

The famous quotation from Nostradamus:
'and witches and doctors shall come among them and cause confusion.
The children shall rise up and conquer'
was quoted widely.

Astrologers hastily revised predictions to account for Jupiter being aligned with Mars.

G W Bush declared Switzerland to be an 'Axis of Evil' and brought his forces back up to DEFCON II (incidentally causing great annoyance to several Generals who had gone to Las Vegas for the weekend).

Bruno, who only fancied a walk in the snow was oblivious of all this and still quietly gnawing the bone.

 

#120:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 12:54 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Says it all really!

 

#121:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 1:50 pm

*agrees that Lesley has it perfectly*

That's fabulous! I particularly love the generals being annoyed!

 

#122:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 3:58 pm

A long procession of vehicles slowly made its way up the winding road to the Gornetz Platz. Heading the procession was the vehicle carrying Kate Adie and her intrepid team, closely followed by outside broadcast vans from other TV and Radio stations.

Following them were two armoured divisions of the Swiss Army who had very kindly allowed Kate to head the procession, not that they were afraid, no, not really, but still, she was female, Ladies first, and all that.

Following the two armoured divisions came their generals, sitting in a mobile War Room, engrossed in an argument about who had mislaid their entire stock of missiles, advanced weaponry and back-pack nuclear devices.

Behind THEM, a long way behind, were the US Army generals who had been despatched to Switzerland by GWB for the purposes of observing 'this crucible of conflict' to quote GWB's immortal words.

The US generals were engaged in a lively game of blackjack whilst still continuing to moan about having been forced to give up their weekend in Las Vegas.

 

#123:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:05 pm

How very kind of the Swiss army!

 

#124:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:11 pm

Real gentlemen, weren't they?

 

#125:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:19 pm

*lol* Very much so! Now, how about I have a go at this....

Kate, being a journalist, would let nothing worry her, but unfortunately the same couldn't be said for her camera or sound people. As the cars moved fowards, the men noticed the bushes on either side of the road trembling very slightly. Both exchanged worried glances and wondered about possible escape routes. They had no chance to go back, as they would only run into the Swiss Army divisions. This left the road ahead, and the sound guy suddenly floored the accelerator.

Unfortunately, the noise was picked up by NW's supersonic hearing...

 

#126:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:27 pm

Hooray, KB!

As they passed the school, they saw the eery sight of a cluster of mutilated snowmen, the snow now stained pink around them. Their heartbeats quickened.

 

#127:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:30 pm

*is getting quite scared*

 

#128:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:49 pm

And in the case of the crew, their underwear changed colour! Not so our Kate. She...

 

#129:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:51 pm

....leapt from her car and ran over to examine the pink snow. This was the opportunity for which the group had been waiting....

 

#130:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 5:05 pm

.... the brownies sprang into action. The red paint really WAS red paint and the wounds were from their favourite dressing up box. They seized Kate and forced her to return to the car. Evicting the crew, who were starting to smell just like Joey's pram, piled in. Little Agatha, got behind the steering wheel and with directions from her Sixer (she couldn't see out of the windscreen) the car set off in a series of jerks.

The bushes on each side of the road continued to tremble .....

 

#131:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2004 6:39 pm

Owww have a pain from laughing - real CBB story.

Dare I ask for more please?

 

#132:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 3:24 pm

Owwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
More soon please!!! Love the crew's underwear changing colour!!! ROFL ROFL

 

#133:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 3:28 pm

Hey, why isn't there any more story? Confused

 

#134:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 4:14 pm

Now what are the Brownies going to do with Kate Adie???

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

 

#135:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 4:31 pm

The Brownies, having ejected the Outside Broadcast crew, were busy applying their electronics expertise to the equipment in the van. As they bumped along the road, occasionally veering dangerously near the edge, they quickly discovered how to use the equipment.

A few deft touches soon had the antennae focused in the required direction, and it was the work of moments for the computer equipment to be converted so that a picture of an attractive young woman filled the screen.

The Brownies then began their first broadcast, telling GWB and other assorted world leaders exactly what they had to do...................

 

#136:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 7:41 pm

The presence of an attractive young woman, of course, meant that every male world leader followed the orders with no qualms. It was only those countries led by women that hesitated, much to their detriment...

 

#137:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2004 10:36 pm

KB wrote:
It was only those countries led by women that hesitated, much to their detriment...


As there were very few of these, Sad , it made no difference to the new world order.

Under the influence of this attractive young woman, the world leaders, preening themselves and each convinced that HE was the object of her affections, proceeded to .....

Last edited by PatMac on Tue Feb 10, 2004 6:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#138:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 2:12 pm

This is super. Picturing the Brownies like the young St. Trinians girls in uniforms too big for them!

 

#139:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 7:10 pm

.... pass a decree transferring the contents of the national bank to a numbered account in Switzerland.

Tabitha Togood, who until now had never shone in the brownies having only got one badge (accountancy), was constantly on her mobile phone, checking the money in while she scribbled numbers on a pad. (there were too many digits for the calculator's display) When the final deposit was made, she added up the total and beamed. "That's 1500 trillion dollars. What shall we do with it?"

Kate Adie, with the quick wits which had made her such a successful journalist had asked to be enrolled as a brownie and was now studying for her woodcraft badge.

Meanwhile ...

Up at the San, the patients long subjected to hospital food, could smell the barbecue and were planning a break out. An escape committee had been formed and a team was stitching nurses uniforms out of sheets, while some brave souls were distracting the nurses with spurious calls for attention.

Meanwhile ...

The attack ferrets were closing in on Joey.

Meanwhile ...

Battalion 1 of the CGP had met up with Battalion 2 and pooled their resources. RTW was leading them out to find more fun. Her broomstick skimming the rocky ledges as she cried "Onwards!" with an evil smile on her face. Dr Who had persuaded Marvin to direct the Tardis to the Restaurant at the End of The Universe, where, he assured her, they served Baileys in pint glasses.

 

#140:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:15 pm

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL



Oh I NEEDED that!

 

#141:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2004 10:04 pm

ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
ROFL
And I enjoyed that!

 

#142:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:27 am

Oh, so did I*calls over tissue box so I can mop streaming eyes*

 

#143:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 1:58 pm

Quick question

now you have all had chance to run wild with this story - which is hilarious and has had me in tears (so keep going!) - i just wondered if anyone would be interested in my posting the SCS story that led on from first posting I made?

It probably won't happen in the immediate future but i am nearly the end of Felicity and the PB is bugging me to finish the other version of this which he has neatly planned out for me!

 

#144:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:13 pm

Yes please Kate!

And PatMac and others how do you keep up with all the different threads of this - very impressed...

*giggling wildly*

 

#145:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:05 pm

The two Battallians of the CGP, still led by RTW were cobing the Platz for further victims when they came upon a strange figure. It was a young girl, dressed in old-fashioned clothing covered by what looked suspiciously like a wolf-skin cloak. An evil grin spread across RTW's face as she saw what she thought was another victim, but she was in for a slight surprise, for this was Little Red Riding Hood, as perceived by Raold Dahl! Rachel's witchy cloak and hat looked, in the gloom under the trees, rather like the outline of a wolf. and before anyone could prevent it..
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickered
She pulled a pistol from her knickers
she aimed it at the creature;s head
And bang, bang bang, she shot her dead!
The CGP patrols were momentarily stunned, and by the time they had recovered, LRRH had disappeared into the trees, camouflaged by her unusual attire![/i]

 

#146:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:22 pm

*emits a shrill screech of laughter* WHAT was that little rhyme from Pat?????? ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

 

#147:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:41 pm

Roald Dahl's version of Little Red Riding Hood! Hysterical!

 

#148:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:51 pm

Laughing Revenge is sweet! Laughing Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

 

#149:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 5:08 pm

Fantastic, Pat!

 

#150:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:59 pm

Great fun!

Strangely enough that quote was flying round my mind today for no apparent reason.

Would enjoy the scs version at some point too.

 

#151:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 9:12 pm

I'm so glad you thought it fun Carolyn! You'll be happy to keep a wary eye open should you ever appear in a drabble yourself, won't you? LRRH is quite lethal with that pistol, you know. At least as bad as the Maynards! Very Happy Twisted Evil

 

#152:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 9:32 pm

Pat, that was great! I can hardly type for laughing.

Meanwhile ...

The patients at the san had got fed up with sewing and decided on direct action. Arming themselves with crutches, they massacred the doctors and the porters and rushed out of the doors to join the Yanks at their barbecue. The nurses, realising that they would end up having to clear up the mess if they stayed ,joined them. The SEALS were kind souls under their macho exterior and fed the starving patients with 3" thick steaks and fries, feeling really good about finding their sensitive sides.

The only slight problem was caused by little Tommy Tubman, an angelic looking child, who managed to set off a missile which hit the vehicle in which the American Generals were still playing blackjack.

They were all posthumously decorated for 'Valiant service in the face of enemy fire' and mainly empty coffins were returned to the US for burial with full military honours, which saved any embarrassment about 'friendly fire' and cleared the way for a round of promotions within the military. This made a lot of people happy, including the widows. Being provided with nice pensions and freed from the burden of grumpy husbands who had been gambling away their family fortunes, they all moved to Florida and lived happily ever after.

Meanwhile ...

Seeing the car carrying Kate Adie disappear into the distance and the vehicle carrying the generals disintigrate in a fire storm, the Swiss decided that neutrality would be in their best interests. Waving white flags they left their armoured cars and took off into the woods, where there was still an eery rustling of bushes.

Then ...

It started to snow....

 

#153:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:17 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL




More please!

 

#154:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:45 pm

RTW doesn't die that easily! LRRH missed!

 

#155:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:48 pm

If you've Roald Dahl, she never ever misses!!

 

#156:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:18 pm

Pat wrote:
I'm so glad you thought it fun Carolyn! You'll be happy to keep a wary eye open should you ever appear in a drabble yourself, won't you? LRRH is quite lethal with that pistol, you know. At least as bad as the Maynards! Very Happy Twisted Evil


This is the second thread in the space of a few minutes where I've read a threat to me, specifically telling me to keep my eyes open, and I think both times it was you Pat.

*feeling paranoid and looking behind every few seconds*

 

#157:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:20 pm

I refuse to go quietly



And don't worry Carolyn, I'll protect you!

 

#158:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 12:30 am

Carolyn P wrote:
Pat wrote:
I'm so glad you thought it fun Carolyn! You'll be happy to keep a wary eye open should you ever appear in a drabble yourself, won't you? LRRH is quite lethal with that pistol, you know. At least as bad as the Maynards! Very Happy Twisted Evil


This is the second thread in the space of a few minutes where I've read a threat to me, specifically telling me to keep my eyes open, and I think both times it was you Pat.

*feeling paranoid and looking behind every few seconds*

If you kill people off, you must expect retaliation!

And how are you going to protect anyone when you are dead, Rachel? Twisted Evil
Mwahahahahahahahahha!!!

 

#159:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 3:09 am

This gets more insane with every post - wonderful

 

#160:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 6:27 am

Rachel wrote:
And don't worry Carolyn, I'll protect you!


Is that suppose to comfort Carolyn or terrify her?

 

#161:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:53 am

Kate, in response to your offer several posts ago, yes, please. We did rather hijack this didn't we! Talk about tangents Shocked

 

#162:  Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 10:33 am

You didn't hijack it at all - i posted it specifically for you all to have some fun with! the fact that it is nothing like what i had planned is irrelevant.

The way you've all taken it is extremely funny and very different from my own plans for it (which don't involve attack gerbils at all!!!)

 

#163:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 10:43 am

So have we finished, or do people's imaginations still have some distance to run?

 

#164:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 10:58 am

I dunno! Anyone?

 

#165:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:12 am

As the Swiss Army tiptoed cautiously through the still rustling bushes, and bewildered by the snow which they had not expected yet, they grew more and more unnnerved.

Their commanders tried to rally them, but the men obstinately refused to behave like soldiers. Eventually, they all came to a large clearing. in a last desperate attempt to salvage things, the officers lined up their men in parade formation.

It was then that the CGP struck.

 

#166:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 12:02 pm

The engagement was brief and painful for the Swiss soldiers. About a year later, the World Government built a monument to the two Armoured Divisions, but that is another story.

The CGP then made for the tanks and armoured cars, which they drove up to their hideouts, loaded with the advanced weaponry, and then began a steady descent of the winding road down to Interlaken.

The brownies took off after them, knowing that their skills would be needed in the conquest of the globe. Kate Adie, determined not to miss a thing, ran behind them in an almost hopeless effort to be the first reporter on the scene.

 

#167:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 12:09 pm

*lol* Good for the World Government! And I do hope Katie gets some sort of exclusive for her pains! Either that or have her locked up in a lunatic asylum...

 

#168:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:04 pm

The procession of armoured vehicles swept into the main square in Interlaken, bringing the City Fathers out from their Council meeting where they had been debating the urgent question of whether the tourists who visited in the summer would prefer red or pink geraniums in the hanging baskets, tubs and planters which liberally decorated the city, the better to fleece the tourists with, my dear.

Seeing them all lined up, looking anxious, the CGF sent in the Brownies.
The city fathers relaxed, and smiling, bent down to greet this company of little girls, ready to ask them if they had had a nice ride in the tanks and armoured cars and were they properly grateful to the nice soldiers who had given them the ride.

The next moment, their faces were fixed in a grimace of horror for all eternity. The Brownies had used their specially sharpened knives to good effect. A cleaning crew came running out with mops and buckets, but quickly retreated when two of the girls smiled at them and breathed 'Make my day!'

Meanwhile,
LRRH had set in motion a relay that operated a mechanical butterfly in Alaska, which caused a tsunami in Yokohama Bay, thus ensuring that the Japanese government had no time to keep up with world affairs.

Meanwhile,
Astronomers in the Californian mountains were desperately looking for an inhabitable planet as they didn't want to stay here with a load of girls running the planet, no Sir!

Meanwhile,
Tribewomen in remote villages in Africa downed tools and told the men to get up off their backsides and get working in the fields.

Meanwhile,
GWB was busy in his nuclear bunker, trying to dig a hole through the floor to hide in.

Meanwhile,

Back at the San, Bruno was chewing on yet another juicy bone, and the Navy Seals, the nurses and the patients were performing a dance that was an uneasy mix of American Square Dancing and Scottish Reels, having mixed the medicinal brandy into a very potent punch.

 

#169:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:13 pm

*lol*

totally and wonderfully insane!

 

#170:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:19 pm

I guess our imaginations have a way to run yet. that was the funniest bit yet ROFL

 

#171:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:40 pm

In england, Tony blair called an emergency meeting with the Head of the SAS, in the hopes that England's elite fighting force would be able to tackle the growing problem in Switzerland.
"You want me to send our boys out their?" asked the anonymous man in horror. "You must be joking, sir. They would be massacred."
blair's boyish grin slipped, and he looked grey and twice his age.
"But we have to do something! If the SAS can't tackle them, who can?"
"Possibly a combined force, sir. The whole of the available troops from every country in the world. There's nothing less that can touch them."

 

#172:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:57 pm

Great, Pat, I love it.

 

#173:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:03 pm

I'm not sure even that would be enough! Shocked

 

#174:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:04 pm

Mo think they may be totally unstoppable...

 

#175:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:25 pm

Tony Blair started calling heads of states to persuade them to join a world force to deal with the threat to the world (a threat as he saw it of course, some people were having fun.) He received rejection after rejection as all the available money had been sent to Switzerland. Slowly the penny dropped. "If all the other countries are bankrupt, we can rule the world", a maniacal gleam shone in his eye.

Just then Gordon Brown (UK chancellor of Exchequer) sidled into the room. "Err! not quite," he said "We sent ours too!"

[quote="Jennie"] Meanwhile, Astronomers in the Californian mountains were desperately looking for an inhabitable planet as they didn't want to stay here with a load of girls running the planet, no Sir!]

Hastily constructing a spaceship by following some plans in a book by H G Wells, they blasted off triggering yet another DEFCON II alert, though this was hardly noticed by the Pentagon staff who were all scrambling into their bunker.

Meanwhile ...

The snow was getting deeper.

 

#176:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:36 pm

...Bruno was getting rather tired of his bone. It was time he had some fun, so he left the SEALS, and wandered out into the snow, looking for more adventure.

 

#177:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:47 pm

'But..............,' stammered Tony Blair, 'Surely we've got some money, somewhere?'

'Er, no.' replied Gordon Brown.

'But can't we raise taxes or something?'

''Not any more,' replied GB, 'We've already hit them with Income tax, VAT, stealth taxes, taxes for this, taxes for that. As a nation, we're broke, so we'll just have to sit back and let these girls take over the world.'

Meanwhile,
In Australia, the aboriginals had opened their stockpiles of ancient, ancestral weapons and were going around asking people if they believed in Dreamtime. The wrong answer meant immediate execution.

Meanwhile,
In America, the Native Indian Nations were re-enacting the Battle of the Little Bighorn'

Meanwhile,
The Zulus were drastically changing the outcome of Rourke's Drift.

Meanwhile,
All over the world, sales of washing powder soared as people began to realise that they needed to change their underwear a dozen times a day.

Meanwhile,
Back in Interlaken, the President of Switzerland and his cabinet were facing their toughest challenge yet. And no, it wasn't to drink a dozen cups of coffee with positive featherbeds of whipped cream each, without being sick.

They were between a rock and a hard place. The CGP and the Brownies!

 

#178:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 2:58 pm

Eventually he came across LRRH, who was checking her pistol, and practicing quick draws. She had a feeling that there was a wolf in human clothing somewhere, that had slaughtered millions of innocents, and she was thinking of ways to find her. Seeing Bruno, and realising that St Bernard dogs had wonderful tracking abilities, she crouched down and started to make friends.

 

#179:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:41 pm

Whereupon Bruno, having had more bones today than he normally had in a year, threw up all over ...

 

#180:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 6:10 pm

...LRRH, the fur coat, the gun, and a small rabbit who had decided to come by at an unfortunate moment.

 

#181:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 6:53 pm

KB wrote:
...LRRH, the fur coat, the gun, and a small rabbit who had decided to come by at an unfortunate moment.


I did wonder who would find that irresistable! Twisted Evil

 

#182:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 6:59 pm

Happy to oblige!

 

#183:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 7:25 pm

LRRH was quick to react.

Once more the maiden's eyelid flickered... etc, etc,
And Bruno found himself able to watch the proceedings from an unusual vantage point. His ghost drifted across the landscape watching the carnage below him.

 

#184:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 7:28 pm

*giggles* Oh, poor Bruno!

 

#185:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 7:32 pm

It was your fault, KB! You made him throw up all over LRRH! What did you think she would do? Twisted Evil

 

#186:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 7:37 pm

I wasn't the one who made him throw up the first place! Shocked

 

#187:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 8:38 pm

Well! *hands on hips* I didn't aim him!

Never, mind, we have another dimension now! Shocked

 

#188:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 8:50 pm

*lol* Yes, we do! So who's next?

 

#189:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:50 pm

Well, if Bruno can be a ghost, then I guess Rachel the Witch can be too......

*goes back to weeping with laughter!*

 

#190:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 10:13 pm

Bruno and RTW drifted silently across the white landscape, stained pink here and there, not by red paint but by blood. As they silently sped down the mountain, they were joined by the spirits of the slaughtered who moaned as they drifted along behind their leaders till they came to Interlaken where they stood silent witness to the capitulation of the Swiss Government.

Feeling strangely benign, the CGP were content to let the President and his cabinet remain as a puppet government, strung from the chandeliers of the Parliament Chamber, dancing forever to the strains of the Hedgehog Song, which the brownies had insisted should be the new National Anthem.

Meanwhile ... In California, the astronomers had returned to their observatory the day before yesterday, having been caught in a time warp and were slowly realising that they had followed the wrong book and invented a working time machine.

The snow continued to fall.

 

#191:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:34 pm

When I wake up, giggling, at two in the morning, it'll be all of your faults! Laughing

 

#192:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 12:02 am

Since Pat killed me, I'm going to move to Doncaster and HAUNT her!

 

#193:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 7:33 am

But you'll enjoy lying there and giggling, won't you, Lesley?

 

#194:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 10:16 am

Rachel wrote:
Since Pat killed me, I'm going to move to Doncaster and HAUNT her!

You killed Lynne, and mutilated Steve's body, so I'm sure they will protect me! Come to that, I'm a ghost too!!!

 

#195:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 11:40 am

Is there some way to distinguish the dead from the not-dead? It's very hard to remember!

 

#196:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 1:16 pm

Especially when different people have been killed in different drabbles! Laughing

 

#197:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 1:37 pm

Pat wrote:
Especially when different people have been killed in different drabbles! Laughing


LOL, Pat! there's so many massacres at the moment that I sometimes have to go back and reread to check!

 

#198:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 3:01 pm

Meanwhile,
In Micronesia, the islanders declared a Joint republic and immediately launched class action lawsuits against Frence, the USA and Britain for the despoiliation of the islands.

Meanwhile,

In Germany, the President declared that he welcomed the Government of the CGP and the Brownies, his last action being to pass a law making it illegal to eat sauerkraut.

Meanwhile,
The Greek government declared that it would never give in to global domination by Brownies, then capitulated when two Brownies and One member of the CGP flew in for a personal interview.

Meanwhile,
The Aztec nations of the South American countries suddenly discovered a passionate interest in their ancestral game of football. Claiming that they were all of Mayan descent, they used the heads of their former oppressors as footballs.

 

#199:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 3:25 pm

Meanwhile ...

Joey had given up on finding Bruno and trudged through the snow to her now devastated home, the attack ferrets followed, fascinated by this woman who didn't have the imagination to fear them.

She cried salt tears over her devasted pram and, realising that Jack was now rather late home, rang the San. There was no reply. She rang the school. There was no reply.

Looking out of the window and seeing that it was still snowing, she went to bed with a large gin and a Mills & Boon novel, wrapped in the dust jacket from War and Peace.

She was the only person in the world who did not know what was going on (apart from GWB who had managed to dig a hole 3" by 2" in the concrete floor of his bunker and was satisfied with his progress.)

 

#200:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 5:13 pm

*giggles at Jo and GWB being oblivious*

 

#201:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 11:08 pm

Oh no, more giggles!!! Laughing

 

#202:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:45 am

Wherever you haunt Pat, I will be there haunting YOU!


Oooooooooooooo - ooooooooooooooooo - ooooooooooooh!

 

#203:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:47 am

I stood up to Ellie (EBD) and i can stand up to you!! Very Happy

 

#204:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:50 am

*Giggles*

 

#205:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:52 am

Aunty Pat, of course you can stand up to me - but I can float right through you Wink

 

#206:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:53 am

I just hope our ghostly forms don't get mixed together then!!

 

#207:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:58 am

Wonder what effect a Rachpat would have on the board?

 

#208:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 12:59 am

Rachpat sounds far too similar to a Cowpat.

 

#209:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 1:01 am

So that's the effect is it?

 

#210:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 1:02 am

Well if the name fits Rachel....!!!! After all my name's still there!! Twisted Evil

 

#211:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 1:05 am

So are we going to be a Rachpat or a Patchel?

 

#212:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 1:13 am

Who shall we haunt first? KB and Rachael? Twisted Evil

 

#213:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 8:03 am

Why am I getting haunted? I was nice to you!

 

#214:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 1:43 pm

Rachel wrote:
So are we going to be a Rachpat or a Patchel?


I prefer Rachpat. It has a much more atmospheric smell to it.

Patchel sounds like an old canvas bag!

 

#215:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 1:51 pm

I agree - I'd hate to sound like a poor satchel!!!

Who shall we haunt first Rachel?

 

#216:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 4:56 pm

GWB continued with his frantic digging though the First Lady had been brought down to the bunker, and she told him to stop digging and be a man for once. 'Pie-faced, rubber-necked.....................

At Freudesheim, Jo Maynard was snoring loudly, owing to the effects of the overlarge gin, thus revealing to the assembled CBBers the real reason for Jack clinging on to his dressing room and getting very stroppy if anyone suggested that it be turned into another bathroom.

 

#217:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 7:07 pm

The ghosts of RTW and Bruno travelled instantaneously to Australia to meet the ghost of Lesley. They knew that their very existence in the afterlife depended on being remembered and now the CBB was being slowly decimated on so many threads, their future looked bleak. Lesley agreed with their worries and they decided that they needed a way to get in touch with the remaining CBBers who were probably the only people who could help.

After some discussion (Bruno having discovered that ghosts could understand him now) They decided to split up and see if they could communicate somehow with living CBBers.

As RTW and Bruno had become very good friends, they went together to haunt Rachael, while Lesley agreed to tackle Pat.

 

#218:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 7:11 pm

*suddenly feeling rather sorry for both Rachael and Pat*

And I love the idea of Cornelia Flower as First Lady! I don't know how I missed that before!

 

#219:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:23 pm

*wipes tears of laughter on a corner of this thread!*

 

#220:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2004 11:46 pm

Vikki wrote:
*wipes tears of laughter on a corner of this thread!*


*Points to boxes of tissues provided, goes "Tut, tut" and tries to clean the damask.*

 

#221:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 1:34 am

Sorry Auntie PatMac, but all the tissue boxes were empty!! (at least I didn't blow my nose on it!!)

 

#222:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:54 am

Vikki wrote:
Sorry Auntie PatMac, but all the tissue boxes were empty!! (at least I didn't blow my nose on it!!)


That's all right, dear. I'll try and make sure they are full in future.

 

#223:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:56 am

Thank you Auntie!!! Wink

 

#224:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:24 am

*wonders what is wrong with Vikki's sleeves*

 

#225:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 8:38 am

Perhaps she had short sleeves on?

 

#226:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 3:22 pm

Vikki couldn't blow her nose on her sleeve as I had already blown mine on them.

Ta mushily Viks!


<snigger>

 

#227:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 4:13 pm

Eeeeuuuww!! Rachel!!!!
*dashes of to change top!!*

 

#228:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 7:29 pm

*feels mildly nauseated*

 

#229:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 9:22 pm

Rachel, behave yourself!

 

#230:  Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne/Hamilton until 11 September PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 9:28 pm

Jennie wrote:
Rachel, behave yourself!


Don't think there is much hope of that!

 

#231:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2004 9:31 pm

*thinks Jennie is amusingly optimistic*

 

#232:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:01 am

Only just realised I was in this thread - that's another one down! Twisted Evil

More please!

 

#233:  Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:05 am

EWWWWWWW!!! That's so icky!! *decides against mentioning the 'christening' of our new snot-coloured Explorer Scout flag on top of a mountain in Wales...*

 

#234:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:21 am

*cries laughing and has lost tissues*

 

#235:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 7:40 am

*lugs over the tissue box*

 

#236:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:36 am

*gratefully receives tissue box and proceeds to wipe eyes before crumpling in a heap in the corner*

 

#237:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 5:08 pm

And still no more story, so sending this up to the top again as a reminder!

 

#238:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2004 7:58 pm

*emulates Jennie's example*

 

#239:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:46 am

follows the previous poster

 

#240:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:59 am

*follows her superior yibblers lead*

 

#241:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 5:23 pm

I don't yibble, Pim, I just make comments.

Said in a dignified tone, then tripping over her own feet.

 

#242:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 9:17 pm

*giggles at Jennie, and then helps her up*

 

#243:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:01 pm

Jennie wrote:
I don't yibble, Pim, I just make comments.

Said in a dignified tone, then tripping over her own feet.


*rushes to help Jennie up and apologises profusely for calling her a yibbler*

 

#244:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:36 am

*looks at the trail of yibble Jennie has left behind her*

 

#245:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:41 am

Surely yibbling is making comments!

 

#246:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:42 pm

embarrassed snicker. I was hoping no-one would bring that up.

 

#247:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 5:59 pm

Bad luck Jennie!!!! Wink

 

#248:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 7:27 pm

It's a shame we're so quick, isn't it, Jennie?

 

#249:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 4:12 pm

.............sitting on the fence..............

 

#250:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 7:53 pm

*offers tweezers for easy removal of splinters*

 

#251:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 10:28 pm

*offers a mirror to help Jennie see said splinters........*

 

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