The CBB :: View topic - A five letter word

#1: A five letter word Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 6:51 pm

The title isn't great, but I wasn't feeling very inspired on that front, I'm afraid. Judging from the poll results in I&C no-one will object to this being posted, but I apologise to anyone who isn't happy about the subject matter.

In the study which was one of her privileges as a prefect, Daisy Venables sighed. She had been trying to write a letter to Robin Humphries all day, but every time she made a start something came along which demanded her attention and she was getting tired of the constant interruptions.
"A Head Girl’s work is never done," she thought, mentally assuming the position of a martyr as she summoned forth whoever it was who insisted on hammering at her door.
The door opened to admit Bride Bettany, and Daisy’s heart sank as she saw the worried expression on her cousin’s face.
"I’m ever so sorry to bother you, Daisy, but I’ve been asked to come and talk to you on behalf of the form."
Daisy raised her eyebrows. "’On behalf of the form’? That sounds serious. What have you lot been up to?"
"Oh, we haven’t been up to anything," Bride said, somewhat indignantly. "We just have a problem."
"What sort of a problem? Have Tom and Rosalie had another spat?" Daisy was well-acquainted with the members of the Lower Fourth and this struck her as the most likely occurrence.
"No-o… Well, in a way they have, but not like they did last summer. It’s sort of about Esther."
Daisy racked her brains. "The new girl? Small, dark, always looks cheerful? What’s she done to upset them?"
"She hasn’t actually done anything," admitted Bride, beating about the bush as vigorously as she possibly could.
Daisy finally gave in to temptation and let out an exasperated sigh. "Bride, if you’re going to keep using euphemisms and talking around the matter, I’m afraid I don’t see how I’ll be able to help you."
"She doesn’t believe in God," said Bride bluntly.
For a moment Daisy could do nothing but gawp. She certainly hadn’t been expecting that. With a regretful glance at her letter, she laid down her pen. This would probably take some time.
"Why don’t you start at the beginning?"

Last edited by Ann on Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:06 pm

Great hook, Ann, definitely want more!

#3: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:08 pm

*thinks it's rather remiss of Lesley not to start the chanting*
*remedies the situation immediately*

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE Very Happy

#4: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:20 pm

Striaght into it, thanks, this is one of my favourite time periods, (along with Tyrol and switzerland! Razz

)

#5: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:57 pm

Great beginning, and its wonderful to see a different time period, I really like Daisy and Co. Very Happy

#6: Author: Rosea, Location: Edinburgh

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:58 pm

Have been looking forward to reading this, and it looks good.

Will look forward to seeing more (hopefully soon!)

#7: Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:01 pm

Great start and an original idea! Looking forward to more! Smile

#8: Author: Charlotte, Location: Casterton, Kirkby Lonsdale

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:03 pm

Read the poll in I&C and have been looking forward to this drabble! Yey, more please!

#9: Author: Marianne, Location: Lancaster

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:22 pm

Yay, this looks good Ann

#10: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:32 pm

*Shock, horror Wink

*

Lovely start!

#11: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 10:20 pm

I'm so glad you're writing this, great start too. Very Happy

#12: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 11:20 pm

Wonderful Ann! More soon please!!!

#13: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 11:26 am

Only one post, and a cliff-hanger already.

#14: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 11:43 am

Very promising start, I'm really interested in seeing Daisy's reaction.

#15: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:02 pm

*chanting unashamedly*

#16: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:05 pm

Bride had first encountered Esther back in September, when Nancy Chester had introduced the two with the words: "Bride, this is Esther Gardner. She’s new. Esther, this is Bride Bettany. Her Aunt Madge founded the School back in the Dark Ages, her cousin Daisy is Head Girl and she’ll probably be our form prefect, so she’s pretty important, really."
"Thanks for all the flowers!" Bride said, puzzled. "What’s the why of that?"
"I just wanted to make sure she wouldn’t forget anyone," explained Nancy cheerfully. "And this here is Tom Gay. Don’t bother asking her what her name really is, for she won’t tell you."
Grinning, Tom held out her hand for Esther to shake, cheerfully ignoring the fact that she and Bride had been weeding the form garden and her hands were brown with soil. Esther also ignored this fact, gripped Tom’s hand and returned the vigorous shake, thus earning a good deal of respect from Miss Gay.
"I hope you’ll enjoy it here, Esther," said Bride. "Have you been at school before?"
"I used to go to a place in Scotland, but it closed down at the end of the summer term - the headmistress retired," Esther replied. "Mother and Father don’t want me back at home until the war ends. They think I’ll be safer out in the country."
"Where are you from?"
"Coventry," said Esther, and the other girls sobered immediately. The authorities at the Chalet School had decided that their pupils should be aware of current events and had ensured they were kept informed about the progress of the war. The girls had all heard about the bombing which had ravaged the Midlands city earlier in the conflict, taking so many lives, flattening factories and homes, and destroying its cathedral. Esther’s remark had reminded them that even as they stood there, enjoying the sunshine and the peace of the Armishire countryside, the horrors of war were not so very far removed.
It was left to Esther herself to break the uncomfortable silence. "Thank you for being so welcoming. This school does seem very different to St. Margaret’s, but I think I’ll enjoy being here. Do you play hockey or lacrosse?"

#17: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:19 pm

So far, Esther seems like a nice, sensible girl, hardly likely to cause ructions, although obviously that is exactly what has happened. Looking forward to seeing more.

#18: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:19 pm

This is looking very good so far - also looking forward to more.

Star Wars

#19: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:20 pm

*makes note that chanting obviously works and decides to continue*

#20: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:22 pm

If you'd like more, please could you pop into Books and Characters and answer my question? I'm slightly stuck...

#21: Author: Matthew, Location: Birmingham, England

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:27 pm

This is one idea I've always wanted to see explored, as I have always had extreme doubts in the existance of any god and I've always wondered how someone with similar thoughts would cope at the Chalet School.

#22: Author: Guest,

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:35 pm

oooh goody, another installment. I'm glad it's set in this period of the school's history - I've got a bit of a soft spot for Bride and Tom and Co (in case you hadn't noticed Laughing

)

#23: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:37 pm

Not fair, nasty comuter logged me out without permission.

That guest was me!

#24: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:34 pm

I like Esther too, and the way you have included the war references.

I'm trying to think of someone, promise!!

#25: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 10:10 pm

Nice post -thanks.

#26: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 8:43 am

Great start, Ann - looking forward to lots more ...

#27: Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 8:47 am

Very interesting idea and a fantastic start.

Looking forward to more!

#28: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:11 am

Lots more, it's had a really good start.

#29: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 8:17 pm

She sounds nice and sensible and like she'll fit in well with Bride, Tom et al.

Coming from Coventry during the war I can see why she might lose her faith (assuming she believed to start with)

#30: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:50 pm

"She seemed…well, normal," said Bride.
Daisy was amused. "Normal? In a form including Tom Gay, Flora and Fauna and Rosalie Way, the young drama queen?"
"You know what I mean. She fitted in. We all liked her. She’s got a terrific sense of humour and she was awfully good fun to be around. I wish things had stayed the way they were in the beginning, but I went and put my foot in it and then everything went wrong."

#31: Author: Emily, Location: Land of White Coats and Stethoscopes.

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:59 pm

Aw, poor old Bride! This is lovely, um...more would not go amiss!

#32: Author: Charlotte, Location: Casterton, Kirkby Lonsdale

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:10 pm

Echoing Em. We would like more please!! Very Happy

#33: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:17 pm

As far as I know there's no reference made in any of the books to Amy West being Catholic; on the other hand there's no clear indication that she's Protestant either so I've hijacked her for my own purposes, I'm afraid.

Esther quickly found her niche in the Lower Fourth. She was something of an entertainer, with a quick wit and an uncanny ability to mimic everyone from the stately Miss Annersley to the Highland McDonald twins, although Bride recognised that to date she hadn’t used these talents maliciously, even when things had been tough for her. In fact she seemed to be what Bride’s Aunt Jo called ‘a real Chalet School girl’: cheerful, honest and sensible. She was the sort of girl who would probably have gone through the School without either causing or coming up against any major problems if her secret had never been discovered.
The day on which this revelation occurred was the second Tuesday of term, by which time most people had got into the swing of school life once again. Morning Prayers had just finished and the Catholic girls were filing into Hall to rejoin their Protestant counterparts.
It was pure bad luck that Bride Bettany happened to turn around just as the last of the girls was walking into the room. She hadn’t been looking for anyone in particular: she had slept awkwardly the previous night and had a crick in her neck. As she twisted, hoping to ease the discomfort, she caught sight of Esther entering Hall with Matey.
"Funny," she thought to herself. "Esther seemed fine at Breakfast this morning. I wonder what’s up?"
At Break, later the same morning, Bride noticed that again the new girl seemed to be absent and casually remarked on this to her usual circle of friends: "I say, is anything the matter with Esther? She wasn’t at Prayers this morning and she isn’t here now."
"She was definitely in French just before the bell rang," said Julie Lucy.
Tom looked puzzled. "But how do you know she wasn’t at Prayers, Bride? She isn’t usually with us, she’s Catholic."
Bride was just about to explain what she had seen that morning when Amy West cut across her. "Esther isn’t Catholic, Tom. At least, I’ve never seen her in Prayers with us."
"Well she must go either to one sort of Prayers or the other," reasoned Nancy.
"Unless she’s decided not to go to either for some reason," suggested Tom. "In which case the Abbess’ll have something to say to the silly mook!"
"The Abbess knows all about it," said a quiet voice behind her. The group spun round to see a red-faced Esther standing in the doorway of the common room and Bride’s heart sank.

#34: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:25 pm

Poor Esther, though I guess it was going to be noticed eventually. Lets see how she explains it to Bride and co. now though.

#35: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:30 pm

Poor Esther, but the girls were going to work it out. I wonder how they take it?

#36: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:33 pm

ooh er!!!

*wibbles*

#37: Author: Charlotte, Location: Casterton, Kirkby Lonsdale

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:44 pm

yey, we like, will be satisfied for about 10 minutes! Very Happy

#38: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 11:09 pm

How embarrassing for poor Esther!

#39: Author: Frances, Location: Milton Keynes

Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:56 am

This is wonderful Ann, and I really want to see how it turns out.

Much as I'm enjoying it, I'm wondering if the school would have taken Esther. I know they were tolerant of all religions, but somehow I can't see that they would have been the same about somebody with no religion.

Eagerly waiting to see how you handle this - or to put it another way - more please Smile

#40: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 8:45 am

Poor old Bride - if she hadn't noticed, someone else would have ... sooner or later ...

I'm very taken with Esther - and a good biblical name!!

#41: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 3:48 pm

Good start Ann. Esther seems really nice - happy that you set it in the Tom\Bride era.

Greatly wondering what the next installment will bring forth!

#42: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 10:09 pm

I loved the bit where they say ' she appeared normal' - like she's just suddenly grown two heads or something Smile

Can't wait for the next section.

Star Wars

#43: Author: Lula, Location: Midlands, UK

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2004 12:02 pm

I'm liking this! Always wondered what would happen in this case, but I suppose the nearest we were ever given was Naomi Elton, who pretty much "reformed"...

#44: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2004 3:18 pm

*g* and there's another biblical name...! Please give us more of this, Ann!

#45: Author: Kelly, Location: Auckland, New Zealand

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:20 pm

I'm really enjoying this Ann.
Its an extremly interesting idea.
I feel sorry for poor Esther, what a horrible situation. I wonder how she handles it, and how the other girls take it.

#46: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2004 2:10 pm

I'm longing to see how it is handled.

#47: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2004 3:51 pm

*hint hint* Very Happy

#48: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2004 5:47 pm

I hope the other girls don't try and force their beliefs onto Esther.

#49: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004 9:03 am

This is the CS. Mind you, just think if it had happened during the reign of OOAO!

#50: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 11:18 pm

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment or two, broken by Tom who decided it was pointless to pretend that Esther hadn’t been the subject of their conversation. "Knows all about what?"
"I don’t go to Prayers," Esther spoke quietly and calmly, and Bride had a vague feeling she’d had to make similar speeches before. "I don’t go to church on Sundays either. It was all arranged before I came here."
"But why?" asked Primrose Day. "Everyone goes to Prayers, whether they want to or not."
"I don’t have any religion. Mother discussed it with Miss Annersley, and she said I could be excused under the circumstances."
Tom gaped at this announcement. "But you must have some sort of religion - you must have been baptised somewhere."
Esther shook her head. "My parents decided I should be allowed to make up my own mind. Father isn’t religious either. Mother is C of E, and she used to take me to church sometimes but it never…meant anything to me, I never really understood it or seemed to have the connection that everyone else did."
"But surely you believe in something!" Nancy said. "What’s word, someone, where you’re sort of undecided?"
"Agnostic," answered Tom.
"I’m not agnostic," Esther said. "I don’t believe in a god at all."
Again the girls were struck dumb. Esther raised her head, clearly expecting some sort of reaction and preparing her defences. Eventually Bride spoke. "The Abbess knows about it? All of it?"
Esther nodded. "We had a meeting with her before term started."
"I don’t mean to sound rude," said Bride, slowly. "But I can’t understand why she agreed to take you. I mean, religion is quite a big part of school life here. Auntie Madge says she wanted the School to help form strong, Christian women who can think for themselves and can help to make the world a better place to live in. If you don’t believe in God…well, you don’t really fit into that idea."
"I know. Miss Annersley explained all that and she said she had to be careful that my beliefs - or lack of - wouldn’t rub off on anyone else. Mother said that she could write to some of the mistresses who used to teach at St. Margaret’s and they would vouch that I’m not a bad influence. She says that this school has such a good academic record that she wants me to benefit from it and she wants me to be in a Christian environment even though I’m not a Christian. She thinks it will be good for me. Miss Annersley said she would have to consult with Miss Wilson and Lady Russell, and then we got a letter a week later to say I had been accepted, and that they’d make arrangements especially for me."
"Why do they have to make arrangements?" asked Elfie. "I mean, if your mother wants you to be in a Christian environment, surely she wouldn’t be too upset about you being at Prayers? It must be awkward for one person to do something completely different to everyone else."
"That was Father. He said I’d been allowed to make up my own mind and now that I’m decided, they should respect my decision and not try to force me to join in with something I don’t believe in."
The girls were quiet as they digested this information, and privately some of them were wondering what kind of creatures Esther’s parents were to have such strange ideas. Then Tom stood up and silently left the room. Bride was struck by a thought and jumped up to stand at the doorway ensuring none of the others could leave before she had said her piece.
"Listen, you people, this is Esther’s affair. I don’t think we should talk about it to anyone else unless Esther says we may. It wouldn’t be fair."
The other girls murmured their agreement to this plan, albeit somewhat reluctantly in some cases. Bride was rewarded with a small but grateful smile from Esther and resolved to catch up with that young lady later in order to talk more privately.

#51: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 6:01 am

Good for Bride!
Tom's already gone though -- but she wouldn't spill the beans. Or would she?

#52: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 7:04 am

Of course Tom's father is a Canon - she may feel a particular clash of loyalties. Thank you Ann.

#53: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 8:15 am

Eeeek! Wonder why Tom's left the room like that? *has theories but will wait patiently to be told...*

Can't wait for more Ann! Very Happy

#54: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 8:40 am

Lulie wrote:

*has theories but will wait patiently to be told...*

*Has no theories and is waiting slightly less patiently*... more please! Very Happy

#55: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 10:02 am

Excellent, the girls reactions were what I would expect, I just hope they learn to except Esther for who she is.

Thanks Ann Very Happy

#56: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 11:04 am

Thanks Ann, lovely reaction from the girls. Poor Tom hope she resolves her difficulties - if that is what's wrong.

#57: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 3:46 pm

"Poor kid!" exclaimed Daisy, interrupting in Bride in full flow. "It sounds like all you lot did was bombard her with questions!"
"Yes, and you’d be exactly the same!" retaliated Bride, forgetting that this was not the way to address the Head Girl. "I’ve met plenty of people who don’t feel strongly about religion and just go to church and pray because they’re s’posed to, not because they mean it, but I’ve never met anyone who actually admitted to being an atheist before. We wanted to know exactly what she was getting at."

#58: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 5:31 pm

And...?

More please!

#59: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 12:35 pm

Very interesting so far - I can't help wondering if some of the girls might resent Esther, not because she's an atheist, but ecause the school has made special arrangements for her.

I'm also waiting to see more of Tom, although I don't really have any theories yet.

#60: Author: Alex, Location: Manchester

Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2004 1:39 pm

Tom's not one to gossip, I don't think she'll say anything to anyone else.

#61: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 8:38 am

Ooh - very interesting ...

I think Tom just needs some space to work out how she does feel - after all, we constantly read that her faith is very deep (not surprising given her family background and subsequent career choice ...) but also very personal ... I reckon she's got conflicting emotions (drawn to Esther as a person but unfamiliar with atheism) and wants to sort it out in her own head so she doesn't say anything she ater regrets (being so forthright and honest)

I'm glad Bride has gone to Daisy -she should get some good advice/opinions there ...

I think Bride, Tom & co are a really good group to pick for this drabble Ann!

#62: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 2:53 pm

Bride was able to snaffle the new girl as her partner for the afternoon walk with relative ease. The other members of her coterie were, it seemed, more inclined to talk about Esther than to her. This was largely due to the fact that many of them simply didn’t know what to say to her. As Elfie had said, "You can’t just chat about hockey or the weather or stuff when she’s just come out with something like that." The revelation had been too big to ignore but, at the same time, was somewhat awkward to negotiate.
Unsure herself of how to broach the subject, Bride pointed out a number of local landmarks on their route until Esther cut her short.
"Bride, I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to partner me just to show me the grounds and I can guess what you really want to talk about."
Bride went red. "I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to feel that we were only interested in you because of…you know…"
"That’s all right. To be honest, it’s good to not have to pretend any more. And I feel better for being able to explain myself." Esther took a deep breath. "I know a lot of people won’t understand why I can’t believe but I don’t want them to just make up their minds about me without getting to know me. I’m not a bad person. It’s not as though I worship the devil or anything."
Bride chuckled. "No; that would be far worse. I can’t see the Heads making special arrangements for you in that case!"
Suddenly feeling slightly more at ease, the two walked in silence for a few minutes before Bride plucked up the courage to ask the question that had been troubling her.
"I don’t know if you know this, but until earlier this year, my parents and my youngest brother and sister were out in India. We were all born out there, but me, Peg, Rix and Jacky all went to live with Auntie Madge in Tirol when we were tiny."
She swallowed. Like most teenage girls, she found talking about subjects which are deeply private - subjects like religion - rather unsettling. If you talk about such things, there is the risk that people will come to know who you really are, and when you’re just at the stage of becoming aware of your identity yourself, this is a frightening prospect.
Pulling herself together, Bride continued. "When we had to leave Austria and it looked like the Nazis were going to start warring with everyone, we were worried about them, being so far away, even though we were just kids. But the war was happening mostly in Europe, we were closer to it than they were, so we didn’t have to worry too much. Then Daddy’s great-uncle died and left him a house in England so they decided to come back and have us all together as a family. We were so happy, Peg and I, we hadn’t seen Mummy and Daddy since Jacky was a baby and we’d never seen Maurice and Maeve at all. But it was dangerous for them to travel all that way, what with U-boats and bombings and everything. Although we were happy, we were more worried than ever until they finally got here. The thing is, I don’t know how I would have managed to get through that time if I hadn’t been able to trust in God. I prayed and prayed that He would bring them back safely and that gave me hope that nothing awful would happen to them. I just wondered: you must have been away at school in Scotland when Coventry was bombed so badly. How did you cope if you couldn’t pray for your family’s safety?"
Red-faced and slightly breathless after this gabbled explanation, Bride turned to look at Esther and was taken aback by the hard expression on the other girl’s face.
"I just had to hope for the best," said Esther quietly. "I tried not to think about it if I possibly could, but sometimes I couldn’t help it. Father was at home - he has an ear problem, Ménière’s disease, so he couldn’t join the forces - so I knew he’d look after Mother, but apart from that…"
"But didn’t you feel hopeless, as though there was nothing you could do?"
"Sometimes, yes. But, you see, there wasn’t anything I could do. How would praying make me feel better? I don’t believe there is a God there to hear the prayers, let alone to act on them."

#63: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:10 pm

Thanks Ann, good for Bride trying to understand Esther, but I wonder what she thinks of the last comment, as prayer is so important at the school.

#64: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:30 pm

Wow - I love the way you're developing this - it's an interesting insight into how worried Peggy & Bride must have been when their family made the trip over and also a good account of how someone who doesn't believe in God feels ...

Am definitely looking forward to the next bit and how Bride will handle this - will they try to convert her or leave her be?

#65: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:37 pm

I'm intrigued to see where this goes next. It must be a real shock to the CS girls and also I wonder if any of them would try to convert her, as Rachael suggested, or would they display their acceptance and tolerance and simply try to understand her?

I don't seem to be putting this very well, so I'll go away and wait for more

#66: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 5:34 pm

Very interesting, love the insight into how Peggy and Bride felt.

#67: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 10:08 am

Love Bride's explanation so simply put. Poor Esther, feel really sorry for her.

#68: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 10:55 pm

The letter to Robin completely forgotten by this point, Daisy couldn’t help but feel sorry for Esther. How empty her life must feel, how lonely, with no constant to put her trust in when times were hard and nothing on which to pin hope but hope itself? Daisy herself had lost her mother at the age of thirteen, having already buried her father and three brothers. Throughout this time, although she had had the love and support of her sister Primula, Madge, Jem, Joey and assorted members of the extended family, she couldn’t conceive how anyone could go through such a time without being able to turn to God. It had always reassured her to know that there was someone out there who was taking care of her and on whom she could rely when things were bad. And if Esther didn’t believe in God, presumably she didn’t believe in heaven either. Daisy had always been comforted to know that her mother was at peace now, reunited with her boys, and that she would herself see her again some day. Esther must have been terrified, knowing her family were in danger, frustrated that she could do nothing at all to help them and without even the tiniest spark of comfort which came from the knowledge that there is a better life to follow this one. She must have immense resources of inner strength to fall back on.
"Brave girl," she murmured.

#69: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 2:30 am

Very believable perspective from Bride!
I'm curious to hear more of Esther's thoughts, as well.

#70: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 5:58 am

This is very interesting - thank you Ann.

#71: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 8:08 am

Yes, I can see Daisy thinking like this ...

... but I think Esther would be surprised that anyone would think her "empty" and "lonely" ... I'm sure she doesn't feel like that at all ...

Ann - I'm so interested in where this drabble goes and I'm really, really hoping that Esther is allowed to fit in without converting and that people accept her beliefs and respect her for them
Would also like to see her opinion on the others' faith, given that we've already had an insight into what they think of hers ... or lack thereof!

#72: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 12:03 pm

Ann wrote:

Wonder if Bride will say something like this to Esther? If she does I hope Esther points out that at least she isn't being hypocritical and paying lip service to something she doesnt believe in.

#73: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 12:26 pm

Absolutely - and I wonder whether Esther's situation will cause any of them to dig deep and really question their own faith to assess whether they really believe or are simply following custom and practice ...

Ann!! Where are you?!!
This is such an interesting drabble and we want more!!

#74: Author: Lula, Location: Midlands, UK

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:59 pm

I'm really liking this, Daisy's insights particularly - I never felt that we got to see enough of Daisy and her thoughts really.

Lovely stuff!

#75: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 4:55 pm

Rachael wrote:

I wonder whether Esther's situation will cause any of them to dig deep and really question their own faith to assess whether they really believe or are simply following custom and practice ...

That's a really interesting point, and I'd love to see you tackle that Ann, though any new drabble would be great. Very Happy

#76: Author: Guest,

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:25 pm

Ann wrote:

she found talking about subjects which are deeply private - subjects like religion - rather unsettling. If you talk about such things, there is the risk that people will come to know who you really are, and when you’re just at the stage of becoming aware of your identity yourself, this is a frightening prospect.

Wow! I just think that is an incredibly insightful comment, Ann. Wow. Great story, looking forward to more!

#77: Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:28 pm

Sorry, that was me! So busy being overawed (and bidding on ebay on a different window!) that I forgot to log in!

#78: Author: Lulie, Location: Middlesbrough

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:33 pm

I agree with everything that has been said. I can't wait for more of this (hint, hint!)

#79: Author: Ann as guest,

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 9:28 pm

'pologies for the delay - my computer is poorly. It's taken me seven attempts just to get the blinking thing switched on and it'll only access the net in fits and starts. Fortunately all the drabble I've written so far is still intact but I've had some problems actually posting it.

#80: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 3:02 pm

Sending a cyber hammer to hit the PC.

hammer

#81: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:49 pm

ANN!!!!

I can see you posting elsewhere - get over her and add to this drabble before your 'puter crashes again!!

Please Very Happy

#82: Author: lizzieb, Location: Ireland/France

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 4:36 pm

this is really intriguing. haven't logged on for ages due to this and that, and i'm beginning to wonder if i'll EVER get through all the new drabbles!
interesting to see the girls reaction to something like this, as religion has always played such a big role in the day to day routine of the school.

#83: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 4:48 pm

@#*£>?%$!

I tried to post some more and the computer crashed again. It's taken me half an hour to switch the flipping thing back on again!

It looks like there may be no more drabble until next week (when I buy a new computer). I'll try to write some more in the meantime - that's if it'll let me save anything...

#84: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 4:55 pm

Big hugs Ann - good luck with the new puter

#85: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:08 pm

Rachael, I tried to pm you an apology and a thank you for your encouragement but (guess what?) it crashed again.

#86: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 8:57 pm

*Huggles Ann* I hope it gets sorted out soon, and in the meantime you write lots on paper.

#87: Author: Charlotte, Location: Casterton, Kirkby Lonsdale

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:08 pm

oooo very intreaging! hope the new PC is going to play nice!

#88: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 7:53 am

Ann - I got your PM thanks!!

Happy shopping!

#89: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:52 pm

YAY! Computer problems finally resolved!

“Everyone at St. Margaret’s was wonderful," continued Esther. "The staff were very approachable and understanding but without treating me any differently to the way they always had. Matron was 'specially helpful, she told me that whatever happened and whatever challenges might lie ahead, I should always make sure I acted in a way that would make my parents proud of me, and that included not fretting and making myself ill. It was brilliant advice and it helped me to stay strong. And my friends were wonderful too, they were so sympathetic. If I was upset or cross or I wanted to be alone they understood, and they were always there to listen. Then again, there were so many girls at Maggie's in similar situations we all got plenty of experience at helping each other through difficult times.
“I was one of the lucky ones. My parents didn’t get so much as a scratch between the two of them the whole time the bombing was going on. But there were people I knew who died. My Uncle Jim was a fireman. He was helping to fight a blaze on the Foleshill Road when the building collapsed on top of him. Mr and Mrs Grantham who lived at the end of our street were trapped in their cellar when a bomb hit their house. Miss Starkey from the Post Office was trapped in an explosion and her legs had to be amputated.”
“That’s awful,” Bride said in a low voice.
“It is. And when I heard about it all, I just kept thinking: if there is a God, why does he let things like that happen?”
“God didn’t start the war. Hitler and the Nazis did.”
“But if God is good and all-powerful, why didn’t he stop them? Why didn’t he make sure they didn’t become the monsters that they are? I was only a kid at the time, but I’d realised that I didn’t really believe a lot of what I’d been taught about religion. I kept asking these questions but no-one could give me the answers.”
Bride thought carefully. She wanted to find an explanation which would make Esther see that even horrific events such as war could fit into a greater plan, and that there was no need to abandon one’s faith because of it. “Miss Annersley says that if there was no evil in the world, we wouldn’t appreciate what was good.”
“Ye-es,” Esther considered this. “That makes sense, I s’pose. I just think that if there is a God who is ultimately responsible for everything, he should make sure that people are happy and don’t have to suffer. Surely that would be more good?”

#90: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:57 pm

I think spreeing should be excused under the circumstances.

Bride eyed Daisy hopefully, much to the alarm of the Head Girl. “Oh crumbs, Bride! You haven’t come here to talk to me in the hope that I’ll be able to answer questions like that, have you?”
“No, that isn’t why I’m really here - I’m just getting to that part - but if you’ve got any good explanations it’d be handy.”
“Well, I’ll try. Give me a moment or two,” and Daisy rested her head on her hands and gazed at the desk while Bride looked on expectantly.
“I think,” the prefect said at length, “that it’s not something we can understand. We just have to trust that God’s actions are in our best interests. I suppose if we really knew why certain things happen, it would put us on the same level as God Himself and that would be far too… confusing. It’s all about trust. We have faith that God loves us and that if we act as He wishes us to, we will be rewarded for it in the long-run.” Daisy looked up. “That’s the best I can come up with, I’m afraid. It might be worthwhile asking Miss Annersley or Mr Sandon for their thoughts if it’s troubling you. Anyway, you haven’t got to the point of your story yet! Get on with it or we’ll be here all night!”

#91: Author: Ray, Location: Bristol, England

Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:06 pm

Spreeing is definitely OK in these circs, Ann. Yay for getting more (does this mean your 'puter situation is now sorted?) - and a BIG yay because the more is excellent. I like Bride's answer - and Esther's counter one. I also very much like Daisy's response to it all so far.

Very much looking forward to more, please?

Ray *not above begging*

#92: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:56 pm

Thank you for this, Ann, Esther's thoughts are very similar to those I've had on many occasions. It will be very interesting to see how the CS deal with her creed.

#93: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:27 pm

Very interesting. The usual method of course, is to put ML onto the case and two minutes later the abberant behaviour has been banished - I don't think it's going to be that straightforward this time though.
I'm glad you've got your computer sorted Ann, that means it won't be too long till the next bit - I hope.

#94: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 8:42 am

Looking forward to more when you can manage it, Ann. This is really interesting.

#95: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 5:15 pm

Wonderful to have more of this Ann!!! VERY glad your computer problem is sorted!

#96: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 5:29 pm

Bride had returned from the walk feeling incredibly guilty. She couldn't help feeling that she should have been able to defend her beliefs and answer Esther’s questions, but she hadn’t been able to think of the right things to say. Maybe she should set her Auntie Jo on the new girl; she could usually find the words to express herself clearly.
The remainder of the week passed without much incident for the Lower Fourth. Those girls who knew Esther's secret had been careful not to gossip and were making a point of avoiding the subject as far as they could. Elfie had confided in Bride that, above all, she wanted things to go back to the way they had been before Esther's revelation. "I'm sick of all the fuss," she had sighed. "I don't like all these awkward conversations where people don't know the right thing to say. I prefer the quiet life," at which Bride had spluttered wildly and declared that Elfie seemed to be terribly aged now she had reached the Fourth Form.
Despite Elfie's wishes, things had not returned to normal. It became apparent as the week progressed that Tom was not speaking to Esther. Not that she had sent her to Coventry (or back to Coventry as Nella Ozanne had pointed out). She simply seemed to be making sure that their paths crossed as little as was possible and that when they did meet, there was little opportunity for the two to be drawn into conversation. Esther herself remained rather philosophical about it, saying that Tom might come round given time
"She probably just feels awkward about the whole thing," observed Nancy. "I mean, she comes from a church background. If it were me, I think I'd need a chance to work out how I should react to someone who really doesn't believe."
"Do you think...do you think we should try to convert Esther?" Vanna pondered.
"You can try, if you want," said Elfie. "I wouldn't have the faintest clue what to say, besides which she seems to be pretty much decided on the subject."
"I don't think we should do anything of the sort," said Bride decisively.
"But wouldn't that be the right thing to do?" asked Vanna. "I mean, if we did convert her we would be saving her soul, wouldn't we?"
"I don't really know. And that's why I don't think we should try anything. As Elfie says, I can't think of anything I could say which would be all that convincing."
"So you don't approve of missionaries, then?" put in Nella, looking distinctly mischievious.
"That's not what I mean! Missionaries do a lot of good work! I'm just saying, we're not missionaries ourselves. We can't go barging around trying to make everyone think the same way as us! Anyway, if you're so set on converting people, why haven't you tried it with Lilamani?"
"Lilamani's different," Vanna pointed out. "She does have a religion, she just isn't Christian."
"So do most of the people missionaries work with. And if you were going to convert her, would you try to make her Catholic or Protestant? You can't say one sort of Christianity is better than the other, can you? Not when there's so many Catholics at this school."
"I don't know! It was only a suggestion! You needn't worry, I won't try anything!"
"Good! Because if Esther tried to convince you not to believe, you wouldn't be too happy about it!" declared Bride, thus having the last word on the subject for the time being.
The next flare-up came on Saturday morning. Esther had been a Brownie before she left Coventry, but St. Margaret's hadn't had a Guide company and so she'd never flown up. Friday's post had brought a letter from her parents giving her permission to join the Chalet School Guides and she was wildly excited at the prospect. "I've always missed being a Guide," she told Bride as they finished their mending. "Brownies was smashing but as a Guide you get to camp and do all sorts of things you're too young to do as a Brownie. It'll be such fun!"
Bride was about to reply when a clear voice from the back of the room announced: "You can't be a Guide."
Esther looked up to see Tom frowning at her. "Whyever not?"
"To be a Guide, you have to promise to do your duty to God. You don't believe in God, so you wouldn't be able to keep the Promise and you can't make a promise you know you won't be able to keep. It wouldn't be right."
"Well, maybe we could talk to Bill about it," suggested Primrose. "Maybe there's some way around it."
Esther looked at her in horror. "I'm not going to Bill! I don't want any of the mistresses to think I'm making a fuss."
"Don't be such a goop, Prim," said Elfie. "You can't be a Guide without making your Promise and there's no way the Promise can be changed. I'm sorry, Esther, but Tom's right. I can't really see any way they'll let you join."
"It's bit late to be worried about making a fuss," said Tom bluntly. "You've already got Matey hanging around keeping an eye on you while we're all in Prayers and Deney watching you while we have Scripture lessons. If that's not making a fuss I'm a Chinaman."
"I didn't make the arrangements with the Abbess," snapped Esther. "My mother did, so there's no point getting cross at me, is there?"
"I don't think it's right," returned Tom. "The School shouldn't be encouraging folk to be...to be heathens!"
"I could have pretended, you know! I could have joined in with everything and no-one would have known! But I'm being straight with you, Tom, and I would have thought you of all people would appreciate that!" And with that Esther stormed out of the room, leaving a gobsmacked Tom to gape at the empty doorway.

#97: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 5:55 pm

Good for Esther!!!!!
But a horrible situation for her to be in!

#98: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 5:57 pm

I really like seeing the girls try to think out the situation for themselves and seeing all their viewpoints. Good for Esther standing up to Tom.

#99: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 6:08 pm

Wonderful! I've just caught up with this and it's absolutely fantastic. You've managed to make Tom bring up the questions which she, considering her future career, would most certainly have, yet she's not "the bad guy". Love how Esther's dealing with this. She seems like a perfect CS girl.

#100: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 6:49 pm

It's great seeing the girls talking it over among themselves, and Bride is certainly showing her growing maturity.
Tom has certainly raised a valid point though, I', looking forward to seeing how this is resolved.

#101: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 7:03 pm

Good for Esther, it can't be easy standing up to Tom of all people. And if the Abbess knows, surely she will have discussed it with Bill?

#102: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004 8:11 pm

I'm glad Esther is able to stand up for herself though I don't actually think Tom is entirely wrong. The point about Guides is valid (and one fo the reasons the Promise got changed if I remember correctly) and there is no real reason why she should talk to Esther if they are so completely different.

It's a hard situation for all of them. Thanks for the new bits Ann.

#103: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:00 am

Ooh - very interesting ...

Looking forward to more ...

#104: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 2:50 pm

Hm, Tom's showing a decided lack of Christian charity, isn't she? BTW: an atheist isn't a heathen.

#105: Author: dackel, Location: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:24 pm

I'm really enjoying this! Esther seems to have the same sort of problem with Christianity (or religion in general) as my dad. If God is just, where does evil come from? Either God in omnipotent and not just, or just but not omnipotent, in which case he doesn't seem to be worth much. I've always thought that God suffers with us... Like in the story of the "Footsteps in the sand" where the man looks back on his life, and sees two sets of footsteps (his and God's, metaphorically, of course) in the sand, except in the most difficult times of his life. So he turns to God and asks Him why He deserted him just when he needed Him most. And God answers that where there is only one set of footsteps, He was carrying this man, where otherwise he could not have continued alone... But if you don't believe in God, this would seem quite a lame excuse for a god who seems unable to act to divert suffering and grief from his worshippers. A very difficult problem, unsolved by all the theologians and philosophers, I wonder what will be the outcome here?
And, true, atheists aren't heathens. Heathens belive in other gods than the person who is calling them heathens (sorry, how complicated Embarassed

), and atheists don't belive in any god. However, Feuerbach (I think) did say that atheism was the new religion, and he was writing at the beginning of the last century...
Sorry, my theology course appears to have beaten its way through even to the CBB! What I really wanted to say was: this is really good, please carry on the good work! reading

#106: Author: dackel, Location: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:27 pm

Sorry, that was probably miles too long, as I have an "edit" and an "x" at the top my post. I hope that doesn't mean anything terrible? Is there a maximum word count which I've gone over? Help, you experienced CBBers!!!

#107: Author: Ray, Location: Bristol, England

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:29 pm

The edit means you can modify your post; the x means you can delete it. So far as I know, there's no maximum word limit (at least, not until you get into really, REALLY long posts). I sincerely hope you don't delete it, though; it's a very interesting post and point Smile

Ray *

#108: Author: dackel, Location: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:42 pm

Thanks, Ray! I wasn't sure what it meant, everybody knows I'm not a computer genius! Screen of Death

#109: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:45 pm

this is certainly interesting and (sorry but I can't recall who raised it now) but I am wondering. too, how many of the CS girls have thought through their faith. If you are brought up within a family which has a religious tradition, you don't question it until you are faced with alternatives.

It's a deep subject and very well handled. thanks.

#110: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 5:40 pm

Just a little snippet for the time being (pub quiz on Tuesday nights). And yes, I did realise that atheists aren't heathens - Tom was just struggling to find a suitable epithet ( Embarassed

can't be that well written if I'm having to explain myself!)

Daisy sat bolt upright. "Bride Bettany! Are you trying to imply that Tom's been bullying Esther?"
"No!" cried Bride indignantly. "Tom's not a bully and she'd never be deliberately nasty! You should know that by now, Daisy! She just...thinks she's being straight with Esther. She doesn't approve of her being allowed to give up her religion and she thinks it would be hypocritical of her to be nice to Esther and pretend she was fine with it."
"I see. And Esther thinks she's doing the right thing by being honest about being an atheist. It's a difficult situation, Bride. I don't suppose either of them is too willing to listen to the other's point of view."
"That's exactly it. And then Nora Bird started acting like a young idiot and that certainly didn't help things."

#111: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:12 pm

Don't worry about your writing Anne, this is perfectly well written - I think it's the fact that you are raising such interesting points which is leading to much of the comment.
I'd like to know what Nora did, and was she really being a young idiot or was that just Bride's perception of her.

#112: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 7:02 pm

Ann, I think the fact that your writing is causing so much discussion is a good thing - it shows just how interesting the topic and your characters are.

Thank you.

#113: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 8:58 pm

I suppose some of it must come down to the fact that God gave us free will. He gave us the ability to make our own decisions etc. and therefore we have to stand by them and learn from them. If He stepped in to cancel out evil all the time, we would not have free will and we would never learn the difference between the two.

#114: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:43 am

*g*

Or alternatively, we have "free will" because as humans we've evolved that way ...

*playing devil's advocate but I have a strong empathy with Esther*

#115: Author: dackel, Location: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 3:30 pm

There's nothing wrong with your writing at all! Definetely not! Certainly didn't mean to be critical in any way, it's just that the story and its topic are so interesting (and so in keeping with my university course) that I couldn't help going into student

mode! One thing we learnt in school: never equate the author with her figures! Tom was the one who needed the epithet, which in her point of view, probably seemed quite adequate! No need whatsoever to Embarassed

for this story! I'm just looking forward to the next instalment!

#116: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 5:12 pm

dackel wrote:

I'm just looking forward to the next instalment!

Me too!! Ann?

#117: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 5:32 pm

Well, seeing as everyone's being so complimentary...

Esther didn't turn up for Guides. Bride later discovered that she had climbed one of the large chestnut trees in the grounds of Plas Howell and had stayed there until lunchtime. The chestnut's foliage was just beginning to take on its autumnal colouring and Esther's brown tunic had camoflaged her so effectively that she gave Maeve Bettany, who was searching for conkers, quite a shock when she descended.
The Lower Fourth had prepared themselves for more fireworks over dinner, but as neither party was spoiling for a fight, none materialised. Tom spent the meal talking nineteen to the dozen at Rosalie Way, who struggled to get a word in edgeways. Esther looked distinctly upset but sooned cheered up when Gwensi Howell, the prefect at their table, mentioned that she seemed unhappy. Not for worlds would she have revealed the source of her troubles to a prefect.
Bride took it upon herself to have a quiet word with Tom in the dormitory as they were changing for supper that evening. "You could have been a bit more tactful with Esther, you know."
"Tactful? I s'pose you mean I should have kept my mouth shut."
"No. You were right about Guides. No-one else had thought about it," Bride frowned. "Or if they had, they hadn't said anything. But you just came out and said it, in front of everybody, and it really upset Esther. She's been moping around all day."
"I can't help that. It's not my fault she can't be a Guide and she would've been upset however I said it," Tom pointed out, not unreasonably. "Look here, Bride, I know you're a bit matey with her an' all that, but it doesn't mean I have to be."
"You were matey enough with her at first."
"That was before I'd got to know her. You have to be matey when you first meet a chap otherwise they'll think you aren't a gentleman. Oh, you needn't worry, I won't be beastly to her - I'll be perfectly civil!" And Bride, knowing that Tom would keep her word, had to be satisfied.
Sunday night brought the next sensation. In the North Yellow dormitory, Nora Bird made the mistake of not drawing her cubicle curtains properly as she was getting ready for bed. As a result, when the bell sounded for private prayers, Anne Webster caught sight of her climbing straight into bed with no regard for her nightly devotions. Once she had finished saying her own prayers, Anne challenged Nora, only for Rosalie Way to point out - rather tactlessly - that Anne couldn't have been all that pious herself if she'd been watching Nora when she should have been praying. The ensuing row raged until long after Lights Out - as Anne herself held the position of dormitory prefect, there was no figure of authority to calm the combatants - until eventually Nemesis arrived in the form of an irate Gillian Culver, who scolded them all soundly and instructed the entire dormitory to report to the prefect's room before breakfast the following morning. The prospect of having to explain their actions to the prefects did nothing to soothe the tempers of the angry Middles and consequently none of them had a decent night's sleep.
Tom heard all about the incident from Rosalie over breakfast and so it was that Bride entered the Lower Fourth's form room on Monday morning to find the aforementioned Miss Gay lecturing Nora about "standing up for oneself and not being easily led by others". Upon hearing this, she was struck by a sudden sense of dread. Bride knew exactly what Tom was implying. However, she also knew that Nora hadn't been present when she had blundered upon Esther's secret, nor had she taken part in any of the subsequent conversations on the subject. Unless Esther's lack of religion had become common knowledge, Nora wouldn't understand the message of Tom's lecture, and if Tom had to explain...
"But Tom, I've told you," wailed Nora. "I was tired, that's all, and I thought... I thought as it was Sunday I'd probably done enough praying already. We do spent an awful lot of our time praying, you know! I wasn't being led by anyone and I don't know what you mean! Who would be telling me not to say my prayers?"
It was unfortunate that it was just at this moment, just Bride remembered that she was form prefect and began to thump the mistress's desk in order to get her classmates' attention, that the door opened to admit Esther. Nora, aware of the tension between Tom and the new girl but not the reason behind it, quickly put two and two together and subsequently lost count. "Esther? But why would Esther..." and, as her brain caught up with her mouth, she tailed off, leaving a red-faced Esther standing in silence, the eyes of the entire Lower Fourth upon her.

#118: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 5:38 pm

Thank you Ann.

*Think Tom's passing the stage of action that is reasonable now. *

#119: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 5:59 pm

But she didn't do it on purpose though!

*worrying*

Poor Esther! I can just picture what's going to happen now.

#120: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 9:59 pm

A really interesting situation developing, just what will Nora do though??

#121: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 8:16 am

I'm definitely hooked ...

... and a bit disappointed in Tom Sad

I love the way you've portrayed events snowballing - very realistic!

#122: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:07 pm

I hope Tom and Esther begin to accept each other at some point, but I love the way this story manages to explore important territory in such a realistic way.

In relation to the Guides/God question, there's been an enormous amount of controversy on the subject here. The Girl Scouts in 1993 adopted a policy that, at least in principle, allows individual girls to modify the "God" clause in the promise to fit their personal views on the existence of supreme being(s). How it's applied locally may vary a lot, though. The Boy Scouts, on the other hand, have, among other things, expelled at least one boy in my home state for atheism. Lots of court cases! Also funding battles for both organizations, with different sides of the political spectrum attacking each.

In an unrelated tangent.... this drabble somehow made it into a conversation yesterday and, as a result, for the first time I've discovered a RL person who admits to having read EBD! (OK, 30-odd years ago in India, but still....)

#123: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:54 pm

Kathy_S wrote:

this drabble somehow made it into a conversation yesterday...

Flippin' 'eck! Shocked

*wibbles under the pressure!*

#124: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:47 am

Ann!! That should have been a proper post!!

Quote:

The Boy Scouts, on the other hand, have, among other things, expelled at least one boy in my home state for atheism. Lots of court cases! Also funding battles for both organizations, with different sides of the political spectrum attacking each.

I hope he won! Shocked

That's blatant discrimination and if the Scout/Guide movement wants to reach out to kids of today then it needs to move with the times ...
Surely, there's an obvious argument from the religious side that kids without religion need what the Scouts/Guides can offer just as much as, if not more, than those that do believe?

#125: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 9:05 am

Absolutely. But I do think that the those who want to should be able to leave out the "Love my God" part in the promise. I know of a lot of people who said that part without believing it or following it, and to my mind, surely that's worse?

#126: Author: Rosea, Location: Edinburgh

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 11:10 am

As a semi- interesting aside on the guide issue I knew a girl whose mum was actually kicked out of the brownies for being catholic. This always confused me, still does actually but especially when I read CS and references to Bill for example.

And loving the story Ann. Very Happy

#127: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 12:21 pm

Rosea wrote:

Might it have been because the Brownie Pack in question was affilliated to a CofE/other Protestant Church?

I'm also liking this Ann

More Please?

JackieJ

#128: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 3:54 pm

Really good story Ann. Love the way all the characters are developing. Think it is time for a staff member to get involved now though.

#129: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:05 pm

I think B-P would be horrified to know that children were being expelled from Cubs/Brownies/Guides/Scouts on religious grounds. Surely he urged tolerance and kindness.

#130: Author: Rosea, Location: Edinburgh

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:49 pm

JackieJ wrote:

Might it have been because the Brownie Pack in question was affilliated to a CofE/other Protestant Church?

Its possible, although that case I don't think she would have joined in the first place. I don't really know all the details though. I completely agree with Jennie, but unfortunately sectarianism is/was a problem in the West of Scotland.

And also...

More please!

#131: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 9:14 pm

Has anyone else ever read a footnoty sort of book called The Character Factory, by Michael Rosenthal? Essentially its thesis was that scouting was purpose-built for empire building, especially keeping the lower classes properly patriotic and fit for the military Mad

. Not much room for individuality or diversity in that one.

*prefers the traditional view (see Jennie's post), mythical or no*

*would also like to see MORE of this drabble*

#132: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 9:24 pm

I seem to recall that in one of the Dimsie books this was the objection of a neighbour to either girls guild or to guides, that is was all militaristic and uniformed etc, and why she woldn't let them use a piano that she had the key to.

#133: Author: Miriam, Location: Jerusalem, Israel

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 9:25 pm

Quote:

I knew a girl whose mum was actually kicked out of the brownies for being catholic.

This definately sounds odd to me. I spent years being in charge of supper on Tuesday nights while my mother was busy being Brown Owl of our local Jewish brownie pack. And thats not even part of any Christian denomination. I'm now wondering how it was acceptable. Shrugs.

#134: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 10:12 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

Yep, this view pops up now and then through fairly recent times. For example, in (Friend to All, Julily Kohler, 1954), a main thread of the plot involves convincing a father who refuses to let his daughter into uniform that Girl Scouts are nothing like Mussolini's brownshirts. Naturally, the Scouts ultimately rescue daughter in most CSesque fashion, and converted father presents troop with a grand Italian dinner Smile

#135: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 3:13 pm

The silence lasted for a full five seconds. Then Tom murmured, "Oh Jemima!" in a subdued tone and the spell was broken.
Nora opened her mouth to speak but Esther beat her to it. Stepping forward with blazing eyes, she cried, "Tom Gay, you utter PIG! How could you!"
"I..I didn't realise Nora didn't know," Tom admitted, shamefacedly.
"Didn't know what? What is going on?" demanded Fiona Macdonald.
Bride decided it was time to intervene. "Have you people forgotten that our Maths lesson is due to start and Miss Slater will be here at any minute? If she walks in and sees you lot standing around like that, she'll know something's up and I don't fancy having to explain what it is."
"You'd have to explain to us first," grumbled Fiona, making her way to her seat nonetheless.
As Tom sat down, Bride was relieved to note the downcast expression on her face. At least Tom hadn't meant to humiliate Esther - Bride realised with a pang of guilt that the thought that this might have been the case had crossed her mind and chided herself for not having faith in her friend. Nora looked deeply uncomfortable and Esther herself was clearly furious. Bride smiled at her in what she hoped was a reassuring way as she walked to her desk but received no response.
If Miss Slater noticed that something was amiss with the Lower Fourth, she kept it to herself. As if to compensate for the trouble which Tom, Nora and Esther had caused, the rest of the form were on their best behaviour that morning and worked liked Trojans. Maybe if they were attentive and diligent, the mistress woudn't notice that there were three girls present who were clearly unsettled about something. Whether as a result of this action or not, Miss Slater said nothing and the form collectively breathed a sigh of relief when Break arrived.
As soon Miss Slater left the form room, Esther bolted out of the door as fast as her legs could carry her. She was followed by Tom, who obviously wasn't going to let the new girl escape that easily, and, after a moments indecision, Bride, who judged it best to follow them just in case a mediator was required. The pursuit took them out of Plas Howell itself and into the grounds where Bride came to halt to find Tom staring up into the leaves of a chestnut tree - the same tree at which Esther had given Maeve such a fright two days before. This was evidently some sort of refuge for the new girl. Bride stifled a completely unappropriate giggle at the thought that anyone happening to see her and Tom would think they were deep in conversation with a tree.
"Esther!" called Tom. "Esther, I just wanted to say that I'm most awfully sorry. I - I didn't realise Nora didn't know."
From somewhere above came Esther's voice, muffled by sobs. "You were there, T-Tom! You were there wh-when I told people why I d-don't go to Prayers! You must have known that Nora wasn't there!"
"Ye-es, I remember that. But I thought maybe...folk had talked about it."
"Everyone pr-promised! Bride said it was my affair and no-one sh-should talk about it unless I said it was all right."
"But Tom had left the room before we agreed that," Bride pointed out, with an accusatory glance at her friend. "And she hasn't spent much time with us recently 'cos she's been avoiding you, so I s'pose she wouldn't realise that we weren't to blab about it."
"She did it on purpose! She's hated me ever since she found out! I hate you, Tom Gay, and I'll never, ever forgive you!"

Last edited by Ann on Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

#136: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 4:17 pm

Just wanted to say I'm loving this - can we have more please.

Liz

#137: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 5:47 pm

Agreeing with Liz!

Thanks Ann!

#138: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 7:41 pm

Thank you for that post Ann, nice to see that Tom is sorry, hope Bride can convince Esther to forgive Tom.

#139: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 8:08 pm

I'm it was a honest mistake that Tom made, although it is a pity she didn't think before she spoke, tactless to say the least.

#140: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:13 pm

Just to add my two penn'orth to the Guiding discussion... I always have problems when it comes to church parade. The other Guider with my unit is strongly religious and a regular member of the congregation at the church where we meet. She's always insistent that I attend church parade and I used to because I thought it would set a good example to the Guides. Then it occurred to me that I have no right whatsoever to encourage the girls to attend church if they don't want to, particularly as I don't want to be there myself. Fortunately we only have church parade four times a year and I can often plan to be otherwise engaged in advance.

"So that's about it, really," Bride sighed. "Esther's still refusing to accept Tom's apology 'cos she says Tom humiliated her deliberately. Tom's angry that Esther doesn't believe her and that she won't let Tom do the decent thing by apologising to her. They won't talk to each other at all now and it's all so awkward. Me and Elfie and the others have all tried to stop them behaving like idiots, but neither of them will listen."
"So why exactly have you come to me?" asked Daisy.
"Well, it isn't really serious enough to say anything to the staff - we can't go running to the Abbess every time someone sends someone else to Coventry, that would just be silly - and we didn't want Esther and Tom to think we'd sneaked on them. We thought it might be better coming from a pree and as you're my cousin, I've been sent to talk to you. Oh, please say you'll help, Daisy! We've done everything we can to stop them getting into more trouble but it's beyond us."
The Head Girl looked thoughtful. Quarrels between pupils were by no means uncommon at the Chalet School. Teenaged girls could apparently start feuds for the most innocuous of reasons and Daisy, with her long years at the School, had considerable experience of dealing with such occurrences. However, this was a more delicate matter, partly because of the religious element to the dispute and partly because Daisy barely knew Esther. She would have to give a great deal of thought to what she should say and how she should approach the girls, Esther in particular.
"Very well, Bride. I don't see that you've given me much choice in the matter. I can hardly let things continue as they are now that I know what the situation is! But don't expect any immediate results. This is going to be a very delicate operation."

#141: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:30 pm

Thank you Ann, can see Bride going to Daisy for help.

#142: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:43 pm

Excellent thank you. I'm glad Bride has gone for help and I'm so glad we get to see Daisy as Head Girl.

Out of interest why could Esther be a Brownie but not a Guide? I'm afraid though I was both in the dim and distant past, I can't remember much about it.

#143: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 6:19 am

Good question! As far as I know, God was also in the Brownie promise. Maybe it just didn't come up?

*hopes Daisy has some good ideas*

#144: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 1:20 pm

Glad Bride has gone to Daisy. Looking forward to seeing how Daisy will help unravel the mess.

#145: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 5:31 pm

Thank you Ann! I wonder how Daisy will deal with it...

#146: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:26 pm

Apologies for not posting more story, I just wanted to clear this up as it was valid question.

Ally wrote:

Out of interest why could Esther be a Brownie but not a Guide? I'm afraid though I was both in the dim and distant past, I can't remember much about it.

Esther first begins to realise that she doesn't believe during the bombing of Coventry in autumn 1940:

Quote:

“But if God is good and all-powerful, why didn’t he stop them? Why didn’t he make sure they didn’t become the monsters that they are? I was only a kid at the time, but I’d realised that I didn’t really believe a lot of what I’d been taught about religion. I kept asking these questions but no-one could give me the answers.”

This story takes place during the autumn of 1944 when Esther is 13. As long as she had enrolled as a Brownie before she turned 9, she would already be a member of the organisation when her crisis of faith happened. Does that make sense?

#147: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:33 pm

Quote:

Does that make sense?

Yes, absolutely!

#148: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:34 pm

Oh good!

#149: Author: Beth, Location: Durham, apparently...

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:39 pm

Oh Ann!! Two posts and no story!
I think I'm going to cry.... Crying or Very sad

#150: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:52 pm

Thank you Ann, that makes perfect sense Very Happy

*Hoping the next bit is soon!*

#151: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:42 pm

Ann this is absolutely brilliant - thankyou

re the church parade - my duaghters old Guide leader was a bit of an old fashioned leader and tried to make all the Guides go - we pointed out that Jessica was at her own form of worship (Quaker). She had tried the fairly happy clappy church they were affiliated to once and did not find it helped her to worship (Quakers worship in silence). I always felt the old leader wasn't too happy with this, but the new one doesn't mind at all.

#152: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:55 pm

Really enjoying this Ann.

My guide leader was quite old fashioned too. She was very unimpressed when my mum told her that I wasn't going to Remembrance Sunday parade one year. Here reasoning was that since I had been in bed with flu for two weeks, there was no way she was letting me stand outside clad only in my uniform! (And this was in the old days, before they bought in sweaters)

As a grown up guide leader I struggled far more with having to salute the flag and promising to serve the queen (I'm a republican)

#153: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:03 pm

This is very good Ann. I'm enjoying it immensely.

Hoping for some more soon.

JackieJ

#154: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:43 pm

I really didn't want Daisy to go to Jo for advice, but it just didn't seem plausible for her not to...

A fortnight passed before Daisy had the chance to act on her promise to Bride. The Head Girl was wary of rushing headlong into the dispute before she was adequately prepared and was prepared to let it lie so long as there was no obvious trouble resulting from the situation. By the time she had decided how to go about her task - having been given some words of wisdom from Robin and Jo Maynard - Tom had developed a nasty cold and was incarcerated in the school San. With Esther being something of an unknown quantity, Daisy had planned to speak to Tom first, and so she decided to put the scheme on hold until a suitable opportunity arose.
This opportunity finally arrived on the Tuesday evening after Tom’s release. It was the Head Girl’s turn to take the Lower Fourth for prep and she was determined to keep a close eye on both Tom and Esther. For once the Middles seemed prepared to settle down and work, leaving Daisy free to make headway with her French essay. The only incident occurred halfway through the session when Tom raised her hand.
“Please Daisy, Miss Burnett said I should share someone else’s History book to do my prep ‘cos mine’s…well, damaged.”
“What happened to it?”
“I dropped it the splashery and it landed in a puddle,” Tom explained. “I tried to dry it but I accidentally tore one of the pages and Miss Burnett said I couldn’t have a new one ‘cos she hasn’t got any spares.”
“I see.” As Miss Burnett had presumably hauled Tom over the coals already, Daisy didn’t feel that there was much to be gained by scolding her again. She looked around the room. On one side of Tom sat Primrose Day, who was drawing a map, clearly deep in concentration. On the other side was Esther, sitting with her History book propped open in front of her. It was too good an opportunity to miss. “Very well, Tom, you may share with Esther. Move your chair over to her desk so you can both see the book.”

#155: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:45 pm

Esther looked up at Tom with an expression of disgust and Tom returned the look with a scowl, before reluctantly moving her chair. It was all the justification the Head Girl needed, and when prep ended, she asked Tom to stay behind.
“Tom, I saw the way you and Esther looked at each other when I asked you to share her History book. Would you like to explain to me what that was all about?”
Tom‘s expression changed instantly from inquiring to crestfallen. “We had a quarrel,” was her explanation.
Daisy had to suppress a smile. “Yes: that much was clear from your actions. But Tom, you must see that animosity like that between girls can’t be allowed to continue, whatever the argument was about.”
Tom heaved a deep sigh. “I accidentally let slip a secret of Esther’s to the rest of the form. I didn’t realise that it was still a secret and I’m most awfully sorry. I tried to apologise to Esther, but she thinks I did it on purpose and she won’t listen to me. It’s mostly my fault, I wasn’t as decent as I could have been to her, but now she’s the one who isn’t being decent.”
“I wouldn’t say that scowling at her in that manner was decent behaviour,” said Daisy dryly.
“She’s not being civil to me and it’s jolly hard to be civil back to her!”
“I understand that it’s difficult when you want to make amends with someone and they’re being obstinate and won’t let you, but that’s no reason to give up trying. You just have to be a Christian, forgive them for their misdeeds and persevere until the other person realises that no good ever comes of holding a grudge . What is it, Tom? Why are you looking at me like that?” For Tom was regarding her senior with a shrewd expression.
“You know, don’t you? You know why Esther and I quarrelled.”
It was Daisy’s turn to look crestfallen. “How did you know? I was trying to be subtle!”
Tom grinned. “You weren’t quite subtle enough! It’s a jolly good thing too, I was worried I’d blab the whole affair again and make things even worse.”
“Oh, do have some sense, Tom! Even if you had, I would hardly mention it to Esther, would I?” Daisy was beginning to relax, now it seemed that both girls would be able to speak freely. “I know why the two of you argued. I just can’t understand why you’ve had such a grudge against her. The other girls in the form haven’t reacted in the same way.”
“It’s just that I…I sort of felt she was insulting my father,” Tom admitted, and Daisy’s heart leapt. This was information that Tom hadn’t even imparted to Bride. It seemed that the conversation might actually achieve something if Tom was prepared to open up to such an extent. “Pater’s devoted his life to his religion and it’s a bit of a blow when a chap comes along and says that it’s all rot.”
“Did Esther actually say that?”
“No-o. But she must think it is, or she’d believe in God, wouldn’t she?”
“That’s not necessarily the case. I haven’t spoken to Esther, so I don’t know exactly what she thinks, but I should imagine it’s possible to be an atheist and still believe that religion isn’t a bad thing. Following the word of God helps us to become better people - it encourages us to treat others with respect, to love one another, to be forgiving, to help those less fortunate than ourselves, oh, all sorts of things - and no-one can deny that the world would be a much more pleasant place if we all remembered to act as God wants us to. Tom, belief is a deeply personal thing. It can’t be forced. If Esther doesn’t believe in God then there is nothing you or I or anyone else can do which would make her believe. You will just have to hope that she finds God somehow - or rather, that God finds her. It’s out of our hands.” Daisy paused, recalling the lines she had mentally rehearsed at frequent intervals during the past week. “Faith isn’t just a five letter word which people use casually to describe religion. It’s something deeper than that. It’s believing even through the times when the world seems an evil place and God seems to have forgotten about mankind. But it’s not just a…a blind belief. We should question our faith from time to time, we should remind ourselves why we believe in God. From the sounds of it, Esther has a lot of unanswered questions which prevent her from truly believing. The way I see it, this is an opportunity for you, Tom. Instead of avoiding Esther and quarrelling with her, you might try talking to her. It might give you a deeper understanding of your own faith and it might help Esther to understand it too. You might even be able to find answers to some of her questions, although,” Daisy suddenly grinned, “I’m not sure I could!”
Tom looked thoughtful. “I can see what you mean. But how can I talk to her when she won’t talk to me?”
“I’ll speak to Esther,” Daisy promised. “There are two sides to this dispute and it would be downright unfair of me to give you a talking-to like this and let Esther off scot-free. Hopefully she’ll see sense and the two of you will be able to start putting things right.”
“Thanks awfully, Daisy. You’re a real gentleman.” Tom grinned. “It’s a rotten shame you’re going to be a doctor. That was a blinkin’ good sermon you preached just now!” And with this parting shot, she fled to find her classmates.
When Daisy had recovered her breath after such a piece of cheek, she allowed herself a brief triumphant jig. Her speech seemed to have been a success! Robin and Jo were absolute angels and she would have to thank them profusely! Now all she had to do was tackle Esther. “If what Bride says is correct, Esther’s basically a reasonable sort of child,” she thought. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to convince her to drop her grudge against Tom if I can ram home the fact that it isn’t a reasonable way to behave.”
But for all her careful planning, the conversation with Esther never happened. Events overtook them in a way which Daisy couldn’t have predicted, but which at the same time were hardly surprising.

#156: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:50 pm

eeek!

what events - when - how - why???

#157: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 11:22 pm

Well, I was going to say how much I loved that last update - but that nasty cliff has thrown everything else right out of my mind!!!!

#158: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:50 am

Lovely post - excellent cliff!

(Glad we now know meaning of title!)

#159: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:33 am

Yay, answer to the title question. (I couldn't make any variant of atheist with 5 letters, though "faith" was a candidate.)

Daisy is wonderful here! But that cliff is verrry worrisome.

#160: Author: Rosea, Location: Edinburgh

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 9:07 am

Kathy_S wrote:

Yay, answer to the title question. (I couldn't make any variant of atheist with 5 letters, though "faith" was a candidate.)

Glad it wasn't just me who was struggling to work it out!

Need to know more about these events!!

#161: Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:02 am

Have just caught up with this - it's really good! As an atheist myself, it's interesting to see how the girls are reacting to Esther, and how she has thought through what she believes.

Looking forward to more.....

#162: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:49 am

Lovely post, Daisy really had thought about things and I loved her jig at the end, but I didn't like the cliff!

#163: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:15 pm

Glad I, too, wasn't the only one trying to work out the title.

Good for Daisy, Robin and Jo.

Greattly wondering what the events are.

#164: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:30 pm

I hadn't worked out the title either! Love the way Daisy and Tom connected over that, wonder if it had some influence on Tom long term as well? Now very worried as the the 'events'.

#165: Author: dackel, Location: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 2:39 pm

Glad it wasn't just me to be slightly puzzled! I thought I had missed something awfully obvious, and didn't dare to ask...

I really like the way this is going, and think that Daisy's answer would have been well received by Tom. BUT, what happens now???

PLEASE!!!

#166: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:22 pm

Excellent, Ann - Daisy was just brilliant there!

But I need to know what happens next!!

#167: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:23 pm

Me too.... I want to know too.

Please, may we have some more. I'm really enjoying this.

JackieJ

#168: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:49 pm

The mystery solved! Can't wait for more of this.

#169: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 7:15 pm

eek.

That doesn't sound good! I was glad to see the answer to the title too, I'd gone through love (4), christian (9) God (3) etc but didn't think of faith Very Happy

#170: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:09 pm

(From Mr Alexander Gardner to his daughter Esther)

My dearest Esther,

I’m afraid there is no easy way to break bad news, especially in a letter, so I shall get straight to the point. Your mother has had a letter informing her that your Uncle Paul has been killed in Holland, near a place called Arnhem. This is all we know at present, we’re still waiting to hear more details.
I know how much this news will upset you. Uncle Paul was a wonderful man and he will be greatly missed by all who knew him. However, we must remember that he died a hero, fighting to rid the world of an evil which must be stopped, and there is no greater cause for which a man can give his life.
Understandably, your mother is deeply distressed. She hadn’t really recovered from the shock of losing your Uncle Jim and she and Uncle Paul were always very close. She hasn’t been at all well since we heard the news but I’m sure that in time she will start to recover from the shock and return to her usual self….

“Oh Esther,” murmured Bride, handing the letter back to her friend. “I’m most awfully sorry.”
Esther swallowed hard before replying. “Well, Father is right. He did die a hero. He was doing what was right.”
Esther had been taken out of school for most of the previous day after the arrival of this letter. She had disappeared after Break and had been found in her dormitory, lying face down on her bed and crying her heart out, by Nancy Chester. Nancy - sent to the dormitory to fetch a clean hanky after discovering a hole in the one she was currently using - tried to console Esther but to no avail and had eventually fled for Matron. Upon her arrival, Matey had recognised that Esther’s tears were nearly at an end, and so she waited until the sobs had died down before removing her to the San, explaining to Nancy that she might feel better for a rest and some privacy. Esther had returned after Prayers that morning, white-faced and heavy-eyed, and had produced her letter by way of explanation. She still didn’t really feel up to talking about her loss.
“I feel awfully sorry for your father, Esther,” Primrose said - the girls were in their form room, awaiting Mlle de Lachenais. “I’m sorry for you and your mother as well, of course, but it must have been terrible for him, having to write that letter.”
“At least your uncle won’t have to suffer or feel pain again. That must be a reassuring thought,” added Nancy, carefully avoiding any reference to an afterlife of any kind.
Before Esther could reply, Tom spoke up. “Esther, I know there’s nothing I can say which will make you feel any better, but I’m sorry about your uncle. And…and I’m sorry for not being decent to you. I’ve been a-a ghastly idiot and I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Bride held her breath.
Esther turned to face Tom, who was rather red in the face after this public announcement, and gave a weak smile. “I forgive you, Tom. And I’m sorry for being such an idiot myself.”
Bride breathed a sign of relief. Tom extended her hand towards Esther’s desk. “Shake?”
“Gladly.”
And so it was that at Hobbies that night, Daisy was greeted by the sight of Bride, Tom and Esther sat together around one of the smaller tables, deep in discussion.

#171: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:11 pm

Awwwww! So sad for Esther, but at least something good has come from it.

Thanks Ann.

#172: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:34 pm

How awful for Esther and her family but I am so glad her and Tom have managed to be reconciled. I lovely post, thank you Very Happy

#173: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 8:25 am

Lovely reconciliation, Ann

*wondering whether this death will cause Esther to reflect more on the meaning of life etc*
(sorry if that's brought Monty Python into anyone's minds!!)

#174: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:13 am

Lovely reconcikliation with Tom, thank you Ann. Poor Ester though

#175: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 10:59 am

Poor Esther. Glad she and Tom have made up though.

#176: Author: Kateth, Location: Essex

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:16 am

Have just read the entire lot of this in one go - it's so good! Thank you, Ann!

#177: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 12:32 pm

Poor Esther, but at least she and Tom have made up.

That was beautiful though.

JackieJ

#178: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 3:08 pm

Poor Esther!!!! Crying or Very sad

#179: Author: Alex, Location: Manchester

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:16 pm

I know quite a lot of people who say that believers have more in common with atheists than with agnostics as atheists have (generally) thought things through and come to a decision in the same sort of way that believers (generally) do. I'm sure Tom, Bride and Esther will have some stimulating conversations.

This is a very interesting drabble Ann.

#180: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 12:03 am

Nicely written, Ann!!!
*wonders whether we get to listen into the discussion at Hobbies*

Alex wrote:

Interesting statement, Alex- I likewise hear people compare atheism and faith, usually with the implication that conviction in either direction requires a leap of faith. Of course I am largely in the company of agnostic scientists, who tend to feel that one ought neither to believe nor disbelieve, due to insufficient evidence. (Not sure where I fall myself -- believer who has been known to pray to God to exist? Confused

Truly logical, I know.)

#181: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:44 pm

Sorry it's taken me so long to update this - had some RL matters which became more pressing, but they're all sorted out now, hence more story. There should be two more installments after this which should materialise early next week.

The current topic of conversation was the annual Christmas Play. Bride had realised that this momentous occasion was due to happen at the end of term and had been moved to wonder aloud whether Esther would take part in it. Esther had admitted that she didn’t feel it would be right for her to act or sing in the choir. “It’s a shame, though,” she sighed. “I will feel left out.”
Tom was struck by a brainwave. “Why don’t you ask if you can be involved in painting the sets or making props or something? That way you will be part of things, even if you don’t want to be in the performance.”
“Tom Gay, you are a brain!” said an approving Bride. “That’s a marvellous idea.”
Esther nodded. “I’d like that. I’ll mention it to one of the mistresses. I was starting to think the Play would be like Guides all over again, everyone being involved in something and me being left out.”
“I’ve been thinking about the Guide problem,” said Bride. “I wonder if Bill might let you come along to our meetings as a visitor. You wouldn’t be able to make your Promise or be awarded badges or anything, but you could join in with the things the rest of us are doing.”
“That’s a jolly good idea, Bride,” said Esther thoughtfully. “I could suggest that to Bill. Thanks awfully!”
“We’ll come with you for moral support,” Bride volunteered.
“Don’t you ever get tired of being the odd one out all the time?” asked Tom, never one to mince her words.
Esther shrugged. “A lot of the time I expect it. I always knew that at some point folk would find out about me not going to Prayers and all the rest of it. I s’pose I should have just told you all at the beginning, but I-I just wanted to fit in for a bit longer.”
“But you do fit in!” cried Bride. “Oh not in every way, granted! But you’re honest and sporting and you’ve got a sense of humour. All those things count for something!”
“Thanks for all the flowers!” said Esther, blushing.
“I was wondering,” said Tom slowly, “what’ll happen if you ever decide to get married. Oh, I know it’s a load of sentimental old rot,” she added hastily in case the others thought she was getting soppy. “It’s just that it might be awkward.”
“I really don’t know,” admitted Esther. “I haven’t really thought about it - I am only thirteen! - but I s’pose I wouldn’t have to get married in a church. And I s’pose my husband would understand. He wouldn’t marry me otherwise.”
This had got Bride thinking. “I know it’s a rather morbid subject, but - what about funerals? I’m not wishing death on you or anything, but you wouldn’t have a Christian funeral, would you?”
Esther looked startled. “I hadn’t though about it! But I see what you mean. It wouldn’t really matter much to me, I won’t be around to see it. Anyway, I thought you couldn’t be buried in a graveyard if you hadn’t been christened?” She turned to Tom for confirmation.
“I don’t know,” was Tom’s reply. “I haven’t met many people who haven’t been christened.”
At an adjacent table, Daisy bit her lip and tried not to laugh. Middles discussing religious matters in Hobbies - that must be a first!

#182: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:50 pm

Very sorry about Uncle Paul, but glad that some good has come out of it and that Tom & Esther have made up.
Loved the middles conversation, it sound so right.

#183: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 8:08 am

Excellent conversation - nice to see Tom so accepting now.

#184: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:57 am

The support Bride and Tom is giving Esther is wonderful and I love Daisy's reaction to their conversation. Very Happy

#185: Author: Kate, Location: Ireland

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 10:57 am

I love this time period, we don't get much drabbles set around this time! Great story, Ann, I hope we see more soon!

#186: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 9:00 am

Nice update. The girls concern is very real especially as most marriages took place in church back then, as did the majority of funerals.

#187: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 9:04 am

Good to see this back - I think you've got the middles' conversation spot on and I loved Daisy biting her lip!

Glad to see that Esther is being so accepted and they're actively thinking of ways to include her even where there's a conflict with religion

#188: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 9:27 am

oooooooooooooooooooh. Just read all of this in one go, it's brilliant Ann!

#189: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:46 pm

Once the dispute between Esther and Tom had been resolved - or rather, transformed into healthy debate - the Lower Fourth began to settle down again. Daisy had managed to extract Tom for another private chat and had thanked her for making such an effort, telling her that she was impressed at her maturity. If Tom Gay had ever had a soft spot for anyone it was for Daisy and the Head Girl’s words meant a great deal to her, although she would have been mortified had anyone known it. In order to maintain Daisy’s respect, she channelled her energy into supporting Esther as far as was necessary. By now, of course, Esther’s secret was common knowledge and Tom was determined to display just how mature she could be by standing up for the new girl and showing the School that it was possible to agree to disagree. Esther herself was still upset at the loss of her uncle and found it hard to summon up the energy to defend herself in the face of questioning from her classmates, so Tom’s efforts - along with Bride's continued support - was greatly appreciated.
This state of affairs continued for some two weeks, until one morning Esther failed to reappear after Prayers. As she had been present at Breakfast, this was a source of some puzzlement to the Lower Fourth, especially as Nancy, who was in Esther‘s dormitory, assured the others when questioned that Esther had seemed fine that morning and certainly wasn’t ill: “unless she ate something nasty at breakfast“.
Conversation had to cease at this point as Mlle de Lachenais arrived and the Middles had to stop speculating about Esther’s whereabouts and devote their attentions to French dictee. However it became clear that something was afoot fifteen minutes into the lesson, when Jacynth Hardy arrived with a message from Miss Annersley summoning Bride Bettany and Tom Gay to her study immediately.
“Guilty consciences?” the prefect asked as they made their way through the corridor.
“No,” Bride assured her. “I can’t think of anything I’ve done which was the slightest bit wrong.”
“It’s probably about Esther,” observed Tom.
Her suspicions were confirmed when they reached the study. Miss Annersley greeted them solemnly and asked Jacynth to remain while she spoke to the Middles. “I’m afraid Esther will be leaving us temporarily.” she said gravely. “I spoke to her father over the phone this morning and he would like her to return to Coventry for a while. He should be arriving shortly to collect her.”
“But why?” asked Bride, worried. “Is everything all right at home?”
“Unfortunately not. Mrs Gardner hasn’t been well recently and Mr Gardner thinks that she might begin to recover if Esther is at home.”
Bride nodded. “Yes, Esther told us her mother was poorly ‘cos of the shock of her Uncle Paul being killed.”
“Mrs Gardner has been very low in spirit since the news came through. Hopefully she will pick up once her daughter is at home.“ Miss Annersley regarded the two girls carefully. “I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that I have given you this information so that you can understand how Esther is feeling at present. She has asked if both of you could keep her company until her father arrives.”
“Of course,” Tom spoke up. “We’ll do anything we can to help.”
The Head smiled at her. “Yes, I knew you would. Esther is packing some essential items at the moment. Jacynth, please would you escort Tom and Bride to Esther‘s dormitory?”
Upon arrival at the Green dormitory, the three found Esther throwing items into her overnight bag. With an exclamation of horror, Bride dived forward and began unpacking them. “If you chuck stuff in like that, you’ll never be able to fit in all the things you’ll need! Here, let me help you.”
Jacynth tactfully withdrew from the room, leaving the Middles to speak freely. For a while they worked in silence, Esther seeking out the items she would need, Bride folding them and Tom packing them into the overnight bag. None of them knew how to broach the subject of Esther’s imminent departure. Eventually Esther’s control snapped. She buried her face in her pyjamas and burst into tears.

#190: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:47 pm

Ohhhh!!!!!
Poor Esther!!! Crying

#191: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 7:31 pm

*Echoes Vikki's cries*

Hope Esther will find strength within herself. Hope her mum's not too bad.

#192: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 7:36 pm

Oh no!! Poor Esther!!

Thank you Ann - this is wonderful!

#193: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 7:40 pm

Poor Esther, I wonder if she will actually return to the school......

#194: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 7:50 pm

Poor Esther how awful

#195: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:15 pm

Poor Esther. I hope that Bride and Tom won't forget her while she's away, and that everything at home isn't too trying.

More please?

JackieJ

#196: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:29 pm

Poor Esther. Sad

*echoes the others' hopes that Bride and Tom won't forget her*

#197: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 12:05 am

Just read this through in one go and it's certainly raising interesting questions - some of which I've often thought about myself. Thank you Ann!

Re: the denomination Guiding issue - my Brownie pack was in my Catholic primary school, but we didn't have a Guide company, so anyone who wanted to continue had to move to the company attached to the local CofE church. It was never a problem, and we certainly had a good mix. Most of the company never attended the church parades (in fact I was probably one of the most regular attenders) whatever their denomination, so that was never a problem either. As for me, my parents didn't mind me attending a CofE church once a month for the parade, (probably something to do with the religious mix that makes/made up my family - agnostic mother, Methodist grandmother, CofE grandfather and catholic father) and I was often the flag-bearer.

Sorry, that all seems rather garbled - hope it makes sense!

#198: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:25 am

*loving the Esther-Tom-Bride interplay!*

*hopes Esther doesn't get another punch in the stomach*
(or that, if it's unavoidable, the CS comes through Confused

)

#199: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:16 am

Oh, poor Esther - just as she was beginning to settle in more ... Sad

Good for Daisy making a point of encouraging Tom ...

I hope Tom and Bride can somehow help Esther now ...

#200: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:28 am