Xanthe and the Bionic Pirahna
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1: Xanthe and the Bionic Pirahna Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 8:03 pm

Sorry, here is another msn inspired dribble. Xan appeared bright pink this morning...this was why.



Xanthe was making her way to brownies one spring evening with her hands full. A fishing net, a large balloon, a non dairy cake, a compass, and a bag of CS books were all clutched to her chest. Various bits of string were protruding from her pockets, which bulged under the weight of all the pens, staplers, notepads and safety pins pushed in to them. The rucksack on her back had a change of clothes for 22 brownies, an assortment of waterproofs, and most importantly a first aid kit. Tied to the top of it were a lacrosse stick, a badminton racquet, an umbrella and a purple rug. The brownie meeting would last for approx one hour and a half hours and Xanthe knew that she would need every bit of equipment…these were not just any brownies, they were Xan the terrible’s brownies.

This is why she didn't see it, which was a pity as it may have given her a clue as to what was about to happen. So she tripped over the vacuum cleaner. Hurriedly catching all her belongings she looked around, completely missing the cat who was checking to see if any harm had been done to it’s vacuum. It was a pity she didn’t see the cat, as that would have been a clue as well. No, the cat wasn’t hovering the roadway that would have been silly. This cat used his vacuum for a special reason, and had some very special attachments to help him. Realizing that Xanthe didn’t need his attention he wandered away northwards till he came to Windsor where he met his ultimate challenge in the form of a young lady called Vikki. The chastity cat purred with delight as he began to fix his attachments together, surveying Vikki with glee.

Xanthe had picked herself up and looked around for the cause of her suprising fall. Seeing a cow in the middle of the road she gave a start. Then realized that this cow was sensible enough to be directing traffic around a large dark hole decided to ask it a question. She opened a notebook and began on the list. The cow however wouldn’t answer her questions, it was far too sensible to get suckered into a 28 way conversation. Xan heaved a sigh and turned her attention to the hole. The hole was dark and the occasional **^&U%&U^& could be heard coming from it's depths. Xan having an explorers badge decided to explore.

Leaving the sanity cow on guard Xan jumped into the hole with both feet. It was very deep and as Xan fell down the noise was getting louder &%%£^&IIUGJHVGUOY%T%E. Xan, being a good CS girl tried to cover her ears. To no avail. The noise traveled past her hands. ()U&IUKBUYRT&^%&OHKJ. She landed with a bump and looked around with interest. This was no hole. Her animal lovers badge told her this was an badger’s sett, but why was there a badger’s sett in a hole under a London road and why was it being guarded by a cow, and more to the point what was approaching her.

The being, for that was the only word that came to mind was a hybrid. There was obviously something there that had once been human, but now, there was a mobile phone welded onto one hand, whilst the other wielded a pair of crutches that looked suspiciously as if they had been modified to fire some type of missile. A computer keyboard was attached to one leg, a drop down screen covered the head and all that could be seen of the face was a mouth full of sharp teeth. Suddenly Xan’s Saftey badge came to her aid…this must be the dreaded bionic piranha! What could she do, how would she escape.

The noise was coming in bursts and as Xan watched in a terrible fascination she realized that the )(*JKJNBIUTU^&%&%&TYUTY^*%&^$&^ was coming from the piranha. Every few minutes the piranha doubled over and grabbed her toes, pulling at them as she shouted unintelligible gobblegook, (or at least that’s what Xanthe thought it was.) Then toes straight once more she stood and made her way towards the helpless snowy owl. Xan was petrified, rooted to the spot. The toes seemed to have a life if their own. As snowy Xan watched they moved again, jumping to one side and then the other as all eleven of the dislocated at the same time.
“That does it…I’ve had enough…I have to say it…BLOODY TOES”

Xan could feel the change in her skin tone as the dreadful words sunk in. The heat rose in her cheeks, she had never in her whole life heard such a phrase, she began to turn pink, then the piranha spoke again as she struggled to put the last toe back into it’s place,
“Get back in there you, you, you RATBAG”
Xan turned and fled, the bright pink colour suffusing her cheeks and entire body becoming permanent as this second word sank into her brain.

The piranha sank back into her chair, busy with the next manic installment of her life story that was due to be broadcast on the Discovery channel the next day.

 

#2:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 8:52 pm

Rolling in my chair here Carolyn - that bunny bit hard and didn't let go, did he?!?!?

Is it time to ask Liss for a subsection to C&D for non-CS drabbles do you think? We seem to be getting more and more creative (CC!!!!!) but quite a few are moving away from CS connections.

Of course, if nobody minds complete non-CS stories mixing with the big boys, we could just continue adding them in here!

And Carolyn - that was very very funny! And I hope the cats tail didn't grow out of its shoulders or knees! Wink



(Apologies non MSNers)

 

#3:  Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet! PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 9:10 pm

*rofl*

Oh dear i do love what msn brings out for conversatinos and ideas!

 

#4:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 11:28 pm

*giggles wildly*

 

#5:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 11:42 pm

Giggles - I wish I'd been in on that conversation.

 

#6:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 12:05 am

*g* May not be very CS but was FCBB. Very Happy

 

#7:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 12:12 am

Glad someone enjoyed this...Rachel you had seen some of it anyway, before I fleshed it out.

I think it may be a good idea to split the C&D into fcs and scs forums at least.

The tail was on A's cat costume and came fromm her waist.

 

#8:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 12:29 am

I think that's a good idea about having a FCS and a SCS section Carolyn! Only problem would be the ones that start serious, and go crazy!

(the Dr Venables stable......)

 

#9:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 4:37 am

Very very funny Carolyn - poor Xan

 

#10:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 5:07 am

Adds more bewildered questions to Xan's list, but ....
can't help wondering what color she'd be if the piranha had used the really dreadful language.

(You know, "spoon" Embarassed )

 

#11:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:38 am

ROFL *howling with mirth* ROFL

and Carolyn, how did YOU know I was going to have 22 Brownies last night??? Shocked

 

#12:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 12:07 pm

Xanthe wrote:
ROFL *howling with mirth* ROFL

and Carolyn, how did YOU know I was going to have 22 Brownies last night??? Shocked


That would be telling Xan!

 

#13:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 5:11 pm

Is Carolyn practising to become Big Brother, as in '1984'?

 

#14:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 6:59 pm

Shocked Shocked

I Am Wathchng You

Shocked Shocked


or I made an inspired guess!! Razz

 

#15:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:51 pm

*squeaks in terror*

we were clearing out the cupboard last night, and found many of the items mentioned by the distinguished writer of this drabble...

 

#16:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 9:33 pm

*giggles at this drabble*

 

#17:  Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:54 pm

oh, CAROLYN!

this is wonderful ROFL ROFL ROFL

just shows you what can come out of a conversation Very Happy

 

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