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#1: SSOJ (FCS) Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2004 2:01 pm

I declare the Society for the Suppression of Jo open. May God bless her and all who sail in her.

Rules:

Excruciating tortures only;
NO euthanasia allowed;
A maximum of two people people to torture at any one time;
Form a neat queue;
No pushing at the back.

Open season declared on Jo Maynard!

#2: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:27 am

Jennie, my precious, your evil streak is showing again!!!

#3: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 5:34 am

Jennie, dear, if I were you I'd tell the investigators that those plants on the patio are just Matey's back-up castor oil supply. You are, of course, only an innocent Chalet girl doing a good deed, with unquestioning obedience to authority, etc. Aren't you?

#4: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 5:37 am

I think the following orders excuse went out with Nuremberg. Perhaps we should come up with a novel defense. What about the CS-defense? Too much CS reading left Jennie unable to distinguish nice-naughtiness from evilness? Kinda like the Twinkie defense!

#5: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 5:47 am

What, evilness (evilness?) in the CS? Surely they wouldn't go beyond nice naughtiness!

In drabbledom, on the other hand....

#6: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 8:13 am

Oh, hooray! Finally!

The only defence I can think of is surely the EBD-defence - she wrote it, I just did it!

#7: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:16 am

*lol* KB, I like that one the best! Laughing

#8: Author: Guest,

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:23 am

I'll join in. Joey's just become an irritating little so and so who needs fixing. Let the fun begin!! poke

#9: Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne/Hamilton until 11 September

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:27 am

Must remember to log in, must remember to log in! What evil deeds are going to be perpetrated against OOAOJ now? Twisted Evil

#10: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 2:23 pm

*Thinks Jennie does a fine line in founding societies*

I think Ellie is doing a good job punishing Joey in the recent Tensions installments

#11: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 3:36 pm

Ally wrote:

*Thinks Jennie does a fine line in founding societies*

I think Ellie is doing a good job punishing Joey in the recent Tensions installments

Sorry, I didn't mean to, it just, er, happened.

#12: Author: Alex, Location: Home again

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:39 pm

"I say," said Margia to Elisaveta, "would you come to the pine woods after Mittagessen?"

Later...

"Wilt thou be one of us? We are sworn to be the bitter enemies of Jo Bettany, and to harry her till she leaves this place. We are the Society for the Supression of Jo. WIlt thou become one of us?"

Elisaveta flushed, "Yes I will," she said firmly....Elisaveta held up both arms to the pine branches above her,... "I, Elisaveta Margherita of Belsornia, do swear by the trees, the mountains, and the Tiern See that I wil do everything in my power to make Jo's life a burden to her, and to make her leave us."

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

#13: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:43 pm

Evil? Who, Moi?

I'll leave you to guess what I do with my castor oil plants.
Twisted Evil

#14: Author: Marianne, Location: Bournemouth

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 5:34 pm

Good heavens! Poor old Jo! Shocked

#15: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2004 6:29 pm

Having just reprieved Joey from death's door I'm not sure I'll be allowed membership.

However, I suggest we start with a little mathematics lesson, quadratic equations, probability and differentiation maybe.

(Nothing against all you maths people, but she did see it as a form of torture)

#16: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 4:49 am

Carolyn, it wouldn't be the same without you!

#17: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 11:35 pm

KB wrote:

Carolyn, it wouldn't be the same without you!

Not quite sure how I shou.d take that, considering the nature of this thread. Confused

#18: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:49 am

I think those things Carolyn mentioned would be considered a form of torture to most of us except..uh..the Cumbrian Duo and um.. Catherine_B.

I know. Let;s do that Eilunned thing with her. She has to pick up lots of feathers from a windy garden. Every time she drops one or it blows away after she's caught it, she must start all over again! And so on..

Maybe add some thumbscrews to make it harder? Rolling Eyes

#19: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:33 pm

while listening to a looped tape of the Red Sarafan? At least that way if she's in danger of dying from boredom and frustration she can be miraculously brought back to life! Twisted Evil

#20: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:35 pm

Oh dear, poor Jo! She's not really going to have a chance, is she?

#21: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:53 pm

Do you really think that we're going to give her a break, except in the legs, arms, neck etc., Abi?

#22: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 4:10 pm

No, no,no, Jennie, that's too violent. She'll be out of it with pain. You want something that is subtle and s..l..o..w..l..y torturous! ROFL

#23: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 4:30 pm

If she ever gets around to finishing with the feathers, she could be forced to draw them as a still life, supervised by Herr Laubach

#24: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 4:37 pm

And he can throw as many things at her as he likes!
Oh, and she has to get every little strand of the feather drawn...

#25: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 5:33 pm

Ladies, get busy with the tortures. We need something really excruciating, just for a change.

#26: Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 11:07 pm

Well, we could send her all the newspaper articles ever printed about quins, sextuplets etc. There should be enough for a daily reminder for quite a while...
But as far as the physically excruciating bit goes... hmm, how about implanting those "earphones" with a looped recording of Jem's comments to her, interspersed with the loudest, most expletive-ridden rap music we can find? (just been flicking through CS books and noticed an extract where she mentions her dislike of swearing - can't remember which one now!)
Sorry, not feeling very mean at the moment - had the day off school (snow!) - am usually much nastier after a day's teaching!
*now there's a thought - put Jo in as last-minute supply teacher to lower set of Year 9s in the grottiest school we can find Twisted Evil

#27: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 11:16 pm

Put her in a nursery on nappy changing duty, then feed all the babies carott and banana.

#28: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 11:45 pm

BethC wrote:

*now there's a thought - put Jo in as last-minute supply teacher to lower set of Year 9s in the grottiest school we can find Twisted Evil

That would be my school, and I'm sure I can sacrifice my year 9 classes for the purpose! Wink

How about we give her one of those 'practice' baby dolls - the ones that scream if you don't take enough notice of them etc and lock her in a room with it? It would, of course, have a permanent, non-depleting battery in it!

#29: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:05 am

*beatific smile*

algebra and geometry texts are ready for some light, warm-up torture!

#30: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:04 am

*g* You anticipated me, Donna. Well, hopefully I'll be teaching a little from next week, so I'm sure I'll think of something..

Is Eminem the kind of music you had in mind? And the book where swearing is mentioned is Summer Term.

#31: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 7:02 am

*worries that I can't think of anything sufficiently nasty* Shocked

#32: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 12:08 pm

KB wrote:

*worries that I can't think of anything sufficiently nasty* Shocked

*thinks KB must be ill! Wink

#33: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 1:28 pm

Vikki wrote:

KB wrote:

*worries that I can't think of anything sufficiently nasty* Shocked

*thinks KB must be ill! Wink

Should I go and get Matey? Wink

#34: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:14 pm

Donna wrote:

Vikki wrote:

KB wrote:

*worries that I can't think of anything sufficiently nasty* Shocked

*thinks KB must be ill! Wink

Should I go and get Matey? Wink

Now that would be nasty! Laughing

#35: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 8:11 pm

Well, maybe it would be a tad mean!!!

#36: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2004 8:17 pm

ROFL! Make a bright, bubbly and perfectly healthy Joey put up with every nasty concoction Esmeralda's Matey came up with...

#37: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:48 am

But won't that just make her high? Better if you turn her over to my Matey! Twisted Evil

#38: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:08 pm

Got a better idea. Turn her over to a hybrd Lesley-Ellie Matey, just to keep all bases covered...

#39: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 9:16 pm

Lesley wrote:

But won't that just make her high? Better if you turn her over to my Matey! Twisted Evil

Not if you made her take them for a few months - and then stopped!
I'm sure you're Matey would make her life much more miserable though.

#40: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:31 pm

Donna wrote:

Should I go and get Matey? Wink

I'm not sick! Honest! I'm all right!

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