The CBB :: View topic - Just in case...

#1: Just in case... Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 12:46 pm

I, the undersigned, fully comprehend that while at the Chalet School I may be required to spend a night in an isolated hut with a number of other people. In these circumstances I undertake to have upon my person a supply of chocolate to be melted down for drinking (tins of milk provided) and to always maintain a cheerful demeanour, despite the lack of sleep and toilet facilities. The Chalet School Ltd undertakes that in due course, and after no more than one night, I will be able to leave the hut due to a change in weather conditions and/or the arrival of a rescue party.

I understand that the Chalet School Ltd is not responsible for any accident that should befall me as a result of falling over a cliff or into water, or encountering a landslide, avalanche, fire, flood, blizzard or any other, unnamed, natural disaster during an excursion, ramble, pantomime, or while partaking in winter sports. I also declare that any joints dislocated and any other injuries, physical or mental, sustained while saving anyone else from any of these dangers is entirely the result of my actions and I alone am culpable.

I also declare that if I am a mistress in any of these situations I will not marry any doctor I encounter until I have taught at the Chalet School for a minimum of ___ years.

Last edited by LizB on Mon Oct 11, 2004 2:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 12:48 pm

LOL, what a brilliant idea! Love it!

*G*
Tigger

#3: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 12:50 pm

Wonderful!!! ROFL

Very clever!

#4: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:09 pm

Wonderful!! So thats how the school got away without having any insurance claims or annoyed parents!! Jumping

#5: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:18 pm

Fascinating! Shocked

#6: Author: Mora, Location: Lancaster

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:31 pm

LOL!!!

#7: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:36 pm

Excellente!

#8: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:39 pm

*giggling appreciatively*

Laughing

#9: Author: Ruth B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:46 pm

Like the bit about not running of with a doctor for a certain number of years. I guess the school was getting a reputation and they wanted to stop mistresses coming to teach JUST to find a doctor - and then running off and marrying him in the first term!

#10: Author: Alex, Location: Manchester

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 3:12 pm

LizB wrote:

any accident that should befall me as a result of falling over a cliff or into water, or encountering a landslide, avalanche, fire, flood, blizzard or any other, unnamed, natural disaster during an excursion, ramble, pantomime, or while partaking in winter sports.

....or in the course of reading drabbles...

#11: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 3:18 pm

Terrific.

#12: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 4:25 pm

Hehe.... oh... that's good.

Laughing

JackieJ

#13: Author: Mihiri, Location: surrey england

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 5:26 pm

lol...is brilliant Laughing

#14: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 6:19 pm

*giggling madly*

#15: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 6:54 pm

Wondeful - but are you sure there aren't further chapters of this disclaimer? Happy Angel

#16: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 7:57 pm

I love it!

I too think there should be further instalments... Smile

#17: Author: karry, Location: Stoke on Trent

Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 8:06 pm

Hmmmm! I am sure that there should be further discalimers at the end of this Liz!

#18: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:57 pm

Okay... never let it be said that I give in to pressure too easily Wink

The Chalet School Limited undertakes to ensure that during the course of your time with us you are exposed to a minimum of one life-threatening incident and two epidemics of infectious diseases (from a selection including colds, measles and smallpox), together with the opportunity for a variety of minor injuries, which may occur as the result of activities ranging from tilting your chair to tobogganing into a tree.

As part of your education in this establishment you will be fully trained in turning sheets side to middle, making scrapbooks and finding huts to shelter from adverse weather conditions.

Anyone remaining with the Chalet School for a significant length of time can also be guaranteed to learn all the Latin words for ‘O come all ye faithful’ and how to recognise those little yellow clouds that mean bad weather is coming (see above re finding huts).

The Chalet School Limited also promises to arrange opportunities for varied encounters with doctors, on the understanding that the Chalet School cannot be held responsible for the development or not of any relationship following these encounters.

#19: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 2:08 pm

Wonderful, and the next bit?

#20: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 2:19 pm

#21: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 3:23 pm

This is good fun. Thanks.

#22: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 7:38 pm

Lovely!!!

#23: Author: Charlotte, Location: Casterton, Kirkby Lonsdale

Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2004 4:43 pm

Yey!!! Very good!!!!! Yey!!
More??

#24: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 12:39 pm

Since I've been ... erm... persuaded Wink

into adding more of this, how can I change the subititle that says it's complete - do I need to ask a moderator?

The Chalet School Ltd will undertake to arrange a meeting with the author Josephine M Bettany on the condition that I exclaim with surprise at discovering she lives next door to the premises. I fully comprehend that attending English Tea at Freudesheim is compulsory. Failure to comment with admiration about the quantity of her offspring will result in severe penalties.

I understand that any personal secret I wish to conceal, must, during the course of my first term, be discovered by at least one other person. I will be suitably grateful for any interference in my life as a result of my secret being revealed, and have no rights to complain that my private life, or any information given in confidence, is being discussed by all and sundry in the staff/prefects room, Miss Annersley’s study or the salon at Freudesheim.

#25: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 12:49 pm

Excellent Liz

glad we *persuaded* you

#26: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 1:08 pm

excellent Liz!!!! Very Happy

#27: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 2:21 pm

*giggles* Excellent!

You can change the subtitle in your first post by clicking on the edit button, hopefully, least that's how I've always done it...

#28: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 6:23 pm

Love it Liz - so glad you've decided to elaborate! Laughing

#29: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:11 pm

Thanks, liz, this is great.

#30: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:17 pm

Thanks Liz Very Happy

#31: Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England

Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:55 pm

Lovely stuff Laughing

Can there be a separate one for mistresses?! (Although this is pretty much generic!)

ETA to correct grammar Embarassed

May there be a separate one for mistresses? Very Happy

#32: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 10:21 am

So so funny, what about all other suitable candidates standing aside from being head girl to allow a BEttany/Russell/Maynard family member to be it.

#33: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:58 pm

Thanks for the suggestion Susan, I will try to include it.

Jealousy is a long-held tradition of the Chalet School and one that we endeavour to continue, although, as it is now a popular concept, the period of time allocated to any one pupil being jealous is limited to less than one term.

The Chalet School Ltd will, at intervals, randomly select a pupil and investigate their family history. The investigation will result in the discovery of a hitherto unknown connection to another pupil, previous pupil, or previous staff member. If the randomly selected pupil is considered suitable, there is the possibility that the individual may prove to be related to the Bettany/Maynard/Russell clan, although the Chalet School Ltd makes no guarantees regarding this.

#34: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:09 pm

Thanks Liz!

#35: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:14 pm

This is fantastic! Laughing

#36: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:30 pm

#37: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:48 pm

Great fun, thanks for adding to this.

#38: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:08 pm

*falls of chair snickering to self*

#39: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:10 pm

Brilliant Liz!!! More soon please!!!!

#40: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 9:28 pm

Just found this and it's hilarious! ROFL

You can jsut see the lawyers writing these disclaimers - like putting notices on coffee machines saying 'this coffee may be hot'!

#41: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 10:05 pm

LizB wrote:

If the randomly selected pupil is considered suitable, there is the possibility that the individual may prove to be related to the Bettany/Maynard/Russell clan, although the Chalet School Ltd makes no guarantees regarding this.

#42: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 7:02 am

The Chalet School Ltd does not discriminate against any applicants on the grounds of race or denomination. However, it is required that a higher-than-average proportion of successful applicants should have hair of some shade of red (natural colouring only, dye is not acceptable).

The Chalet School Ltd also requires that a certain percentage of successful applications should be from those who are unhappy living with their parent(s) or guardian and come to the school with a bad attitude as a result. It is understood that this attitude problem will be resolved during the time of the individual’s connection with the Chalet School Ltd, ideally within one term, but longer periods of time may be considered for specific cases.

#43: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:26 am

*sobbing with laughter*

#44: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:20 am

*giggling quietly to self*

#45: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:55 am

Lol!
What will be next???

#46: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 1:47 pm

*giggling merrily*

Thank you very much Very Happy

#47: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 3:26 pm

Sometimes the old favourites express it so well.

This is hilarious, I can't wait to see what clause you come up with next.

#48: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:19 pm

*snorting with laughter*

absolutely hilarious Liz. Laughing

#49: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:24 pm

All pupils at the Chalet School Ltd are elegible to apply for prefectship, form prefectship, head girl, dormitory prefects, and any other positions of responsibility. However, in the event of any such positions become available, priority will always be given to a member of the Bettany/Russell/Maynard clan (with the occasional exception) and their own particular friends. Although this is a policy of the Chalet School Ltd it is forbidden to discuss this, or even to act in a manner that suggests such an appointment is expected for this reason.

The Chalet School Ltd undertakes to provide innumerable lessons on the proper use of ‘can’ and ‘may’.

#50: Author: Gem, Location: Saltash, Cornwall (holidays), Aberystwyth (termtime from September)

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:36 pm

LizB wrote:

The Chalet School Ltd undertakes to provide innumerable lessons on the proper use of ‘can’ and ‘may’.

#51: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 7:52 pm

Wonderful! Laughing

#52: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:51 pm

Love this. Cheers me up no end!

#53: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 11:43 am

Career development for staff at the Chalet School will include sessions under the subject heading ‘how many schoolgirls can you fit in a mini’ although these lessons will also encompass other vehicles. Other, optional, sessions will include ‘how to be awakened by a pupil sleep-walking at the other end of the building’ and ‘how to respond to an insect attack’.

I understand that in joining the Chalet School I give up all rights to my age, and no guarantees can be made that it will progress chronologically from year to year. I agree to any changes in my age as required, possibly on more than one occasion. I also fully comprehend that it is possible, but less likely, that I may be required to change my name while I am connected with the Chalet School Ltd.

#54: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:05 pm

Brilliant!!!

#55: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:08 pm

Hehe!
Loving this!

#56: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:13 pm

Inspired! *giggling madly*

#57: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:18 pm

LizB wrote:

I understand that in joining the Chalet School I give up all rights to my age, and no guarantees can be made that it will progress chronologically from year to year.

This is hilarious Liz!

#58: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:46 pm

Fabulous, I especially love the changing of ages!! Very Happy

#59: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 6:16 pm

*giggling since page 1*

#60: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 8:16 pm

*cackling so loudly such that neighbours must be scared*

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!

Smile

#61: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2004 3:14 pm

I love it! So glad it continues too! More please! Very Happy

#62: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2004 3:44 pm

Oh I do love this, it's a laugh a minute, and more.

#63: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:03 am

*playing catch up*

ROFL

More, please! Ingenious!

#64: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 11:58 am

I appreciate that certain situations may require that I am administered some form of tranquiliser or sedative. I hereby give my permission to be given any oral dose of any such drug as and when seen fit by any doctor, whether or not I am known to them or registered under their care, or Matron. The Chalet School Ltd is in no way responsible should I suffer any side-effects or interactions with any other drugs which I might be taking at the time. I declare that on any occasion when I am given a drink to help calm or soothe me after any exciting incident I will not follow this with a stiff whisky (or any other alcoholic beverage) for the same purpose, as the Chalet School Ltd is not responsible for any ensuing liver damage.

#65: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:00 pm

Excellent! Laughing

#66: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:10 pm

*chuckling*

Thanks Liz!

#67: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:48 pm

Thanks Liz.

#68: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:45 pm

Brilliant as ever Liz
Mexican Wave

#69: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:59 pm

These just get better and better.

Loved the comment about age and name changing!!

#70: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 1:00 pm

The Chalet School Ltd will provide extra support and advice for all pupils and staff through Mrs Maynard (Joey). In the event that Joey is unavailable, Mary-Lou Trelawney will fulfil that role. The Chalet School highly recommends that any advice given from either Joey or Mary-Lou be followed precisely. The Chalet School Ltd cannot be held responsible for any consequences occurring as a result of not following this advice or from following advice from any other source(s).

#71: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 1:39 pm

*crying with laughter*

Thanks Liz this is wonderful! Very Happy

#72: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 1:41 pm

*splutters all over the screen*

#73: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:31 pm

Absolutely perfect!!

#74: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:55 pm

Love it!

#75: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:07 pm

Fabulous - so fuuny just what is needed on a cold wet Wednesday!

#76: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:18 pm

This cheers me up every time.

Absolutely brilliant Liz.

#77: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:28 pm

In certain situations, the Chalet School may be required to merge with another institution, on either a temporary or permanent basis. This ‘merger’ will be more in the nature of a hostile takeover, and anyone associated with the other institution will be required to immediately assimilate our ideals and methods, and reject any customs they are accustomed to that do not fit in with the Chalet School Ltd policies. The Chalet School Ltd will continue to run according to its long-standing traditions; no compromises will be made nor will negotiation be entered into.

#78: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:17 pm

Love it - so true, so true!

Laughing

#79: Author: Cumbrian Rachel, Location: near High Wycombe

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:28 pm

Brilliant! I've been chuckling away in the library (and getting strange looks...!).

#80: Author: Elisabeth,

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 7:21 pm

This is pure genius!

#81: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 8:49 pm

Laughing out loud here for real - not something that happens very often! The odd giggle or chuckle escapes from time to time while drabble-reading, but when I read the words 'hostile takeover' I exploded! ROFL

Thankyou so much!

#82: Author: Miss Di, Location: Newcastle, NSW

Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:29 am

What can I say that hasn't already been said? OK I'm chuckling away, it makes a nice change from crying all over my sarnie.

#83: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:38 pm

*giggles*

I must say though, that last section had me wondering whether the Borg had taken over the CS Very Happy

JackieJ

#84: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:50 am

Love the hostile takeover!

#85: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 11:05 am

That's brilliant!!

ROFLMAO - ROFL

#86: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 12:11 pm

*giggling appreicatively*

#87: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:28 pm

At unspecified intervals, a pupil will be selected to run away from the Chalet School. The Chalet School Ltd undertakes to find the pupil (either from its own resources or using another agency) and return them to the premises. Any pupil not up to the standards required by the Chalet School Ltd prior to running away will, naturally, be a reformed character after their return. However, there may be consequences as a result of running away, which, in most circumstances, will be indirectly proportional to the popularity of the pupil prior to the event. The Chalet School Ltd guarantees that no pupil will depart from mortal life as a result of running away, although they may be required to appear limp, white and to all appearances dead.

#88: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:33 pm

#89: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:43 pm

Quote:

indirectly proportional

*splutters*

Thank you, Liz!

#90: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:01 pm

Love it!!! Poor Stacie et al. They should never have signed the contract! Wink

#91: Author: Cumbrian Rachel, Location: near High Wycombe

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:14 pm

*chuckling away!*

This is fantastic!!!

#92: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:47 pm

#93: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:53 pm

Haha

Loved that last post!

#94: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 4:17 pm

Kathy_S wrote:

Quote:

indirectly proportional

*splutters*

Thank you, Liz!

I just realised how true that is *thinks Gay vs. Eustacia*

#95: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:18 am

Giggling madly!

#96: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:28 pm

Still loving this, any chance of a clause referring to what the middles will say about prefects (about them being no angels). I read New Beginnings last night and realised virtually every set of middles has made this remark.

JackieJ

#97: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:41 pm

Still as good and at least I've got tears of laughter at the moment ROFL

#98: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:57 pm

Thanks for the suggestion JackieJ - will put it in soon. Smile

I am fully aware that Matron’s bark is worse than her bite, but this will not prevent me being petrified of her. I understand that although Matron is only 5 foot 3 I will be completely in awe of her. I therefore undertake to regularly practice shaking in my shoes, so that should I encounter a certain glare from Matron I am able to do so proficiently.

#99: Author: Rebecca, Location: Kendal/Oxford

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 7:00 pm

*chuckling to herself*

Fantastic as ever (and means I'm providing some competition for the other person who's been laughing at random intervals in the computer room!).

#100: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:20 pm

Rebecca wrote:

*chuckling to herself*

Fantastic as ever (and means I'm providing some competition for the other person who's been laughing at random intervals in the computer room!).

Maybe they're reading this too!

Liz - these are just so fabulous

how about something along the lines of the juniors having to be good, but once you get to being a middle........but you will always be found out

#101: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:27 pm

I love this, Liz.

Pim, the other person might just be another CS fan. Why not try making a few discreet enquiries?

#102: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:50 pm

Loving this! Liz, how about something to explain why, almost without fail, new girls have never read the prospectus and are astounded to discover they willhave to speak French and German every third day! Laughing

#103: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 4:51 pm

Thanks for the suggestions - I was starting to run out of ideas ...

The Chalet School Ltd undertakes to provide a variety of holes in the ground, either manmade or naturally (although suddenly) occurring, each of which will be discovered by a nominated individual falling into it at an inopportune moment. In some of these cases the individual will be rescued from the hole very easily, by being pulled up on a rope. In extreme cases, a convenient man with mountaineering equipment will be employed.

#104: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:12 pm

#105: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:46 pm

*note to self: don't read this drabble whilst trying to drink at same time!*

hilarious!!

#106: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:55 pm

having hysterics much to the bemusement of my flatmate's girlfriend who doesn't know about my attachment to the CBB

#107: Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 12:16 pm

*another chuckler-in-the-library* This is hilarious Liz! Mr. Green

#108: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 12:45 pm

Oh this makes me smile so much! Can't wait to see what will be next! Very Happy

#109: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 2:22 pm

Lesley wrote:

yes, please do Liz!!

#110: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:27 pm

Ok, you've twisted my arm... Laughing

Before joining the Chalet School Ltd I will read, mark and inwardly digest the prospectus. However, it should be understood that some parts of the prospectus are, in some mysterious manner, only readable to those who are already connected in some way with the Chalet School Ltd and, therefore, I shall be completely astonished after my arrival to discover that I am expected to speak a specific language each day. It is also possible that I will be completely unaware of the importance of the link with The Sanatorium Inc.

#111: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:34 pm

Yay thank you Liz Very Happy

*bouncing*

#112: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:34 pm

*Giggle*

Always wondered why it was the new girls were so ignorant!

Thanks Liz!

#113: Author: Cumbrian Rachel, Location: near High Wycombe

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 5:50 pm

Brilliant!!!

I think people here are giving me strange looks for laughing out loud!

#114: Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach)

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:47 pm

That explains a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#115: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 7:40 am

The Chalet School Ltd undertakes to always establish its premises in a locality that will include neighbours willing to lend a variety of farmyard animals for use in Christmas or other plays and performances produced by the Chalet School Ltd. All such animals will be extremely well behaved (in all aspects) throughout the performance, despite the unfamiliarity of the surroundings and situation.

#116: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:22 am

(Except if anyone inadvertently blows a conch shell!!! Wink

)

Brilliant, LizB!! Laughing

#117: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:31 am

heeheehee

#118: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 12:35 pm

Just what I needed today - a good giggle!

#119: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 5:52 pm

For JackieJ & Dawn...

If the circumstance is such that I have been a quiet, well-behaved junior, I undertake to transform overnight into the worst-ever middle, and to educe from the prefects at the time words to the effect of ‘I’m sure they are worse than we ever were’. As I progress through the school I will undergo another sudden transformation, this time to a well-behaved, responsible, sensible and reliable senior. If I am elected as a prefect (see above clause regarding election of prefects and membership of Bettany/Maynard/Russell clan) I will elicit from the middles the phrase ‘she was no angel a few years ago’.

#120: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 10:11 pm

#121: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 8:46 am

*g* Nice one!

#122: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 11:55 am

Excellent thank you ROFL

#123: Author: Terry, Location: DUNDEE

Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 1:07 pm

Hilarious. More More More

#124: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 1:38 pm

Fabulous!

#125: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:02 pm

More more more. Please!

#126: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:04 pm

Terrific fun - more please.

#127: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 1:38 am

LizB wrote:

For JackieJ & Dawn...

A rather belated thankyou very much - much better put than I ever could Wink

#128: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 5:29 pm

I apprehend that whatever disaster befalls, the Chalet School Ltd will always triumph over adversity, whether it be fire, floods, famine or even death of a beloved staff member. Any sign of weakness on these occasions will be met with references to spineless jellyfish, regardless of the fact that all jellyfish are invertebrates. I understand that at all times of trouble members of staff at the Chalet School Ltd are required to remain outwardly calm and collected, and to be able to raise the spirits and calm the fears of even the most irrational pupils.

#129: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 5:34 pm

This is fabulous! Very Happy

More soon please!

#130: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 8:32 pm

#131: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 9:09 pm

superb

#132: Author: Helen P, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:05 pm

Quote:

spineless jellyfish, regardless of the fact that all jellyfish are invertebrates

*laughing out loud again!*

I never thought of that before - I will never never read about spineless jellyfish without giggling now!

Thanks Liz!

#133: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 12:52 am

Just read this in one go - it's wonderful.
Can't wait for the next bit!

Star Wars

#134: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:26 am

*g*

#135: Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 10:26 am

When I first read about spineless jellyfish (aged 10) it didn't make sense to me. Not only are jellyfish spineless by definition, lots of them have very nasty stings!

Keep up the good work, Liz. This is super.

#136: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:03 pm

*giggling wildly* thank you Liz

#137: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:09 pm

I suppose *half set jellies* doesn't have quite the same ring to it as spineless jellyfish Very Happy

#138: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 5:54 pm

It is fully understood that in the event of any new member, either student or staff, at the Chalet School Ltd being taught to ski they must be told not to let their toes cross. Despite the fact that this comment will always be met with a blank look before it is explained, it will be used (and explained) on each occasion, it never occurring to anyone to just use the explanation and save time and breath. Any descriptions of novices ski-ing will also include the words ‘points’, ‘fatal’ and ‘attraction’. However, regardless of complete lack of experience, by the end of one short session all beginners will be able to move over the ground with some ease, while envying Mademoiselle Lachenais’ graceful ski-ing expertise.

#139: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:11 pm

They obviously never had me there to try to teach! Lesley who managed not to learn even the basics of skiing after a week long intense course!

Thanks Liz! Very Happy

#140: Author: Kim, Location: Tipperary, Ireland

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 10:10 pm

wish my employers had a contract like this - particularly given the reforms facing us in the new year Confused

#141: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2004 1:31 am

Love it. Thank you Liz.

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