I Have Come Home
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1: I Have Come Home Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 6:47 am

Or the reason I haven't posted any more of The Decision as yet. I got ambushed by my PB and this is the result.

*******************************************

It’s a very odd feeling to know the hour of your death.
I’m full of regrets for what might have been – for the children I might have had; for the people I might have known, but I do not regret the decisions I made that have led me here.
I’m proud of who I am and where I’ve come from. I can accept my future can be measured in hours and minutes rather than years and decades. I am not afraid. If I repeat this often enough, perhaps I might believe it.

The cell is small and damp.
I kneel and cross myself and begin to pray for the souls of my loved ones. I can see their faces so clearly.
My father, my mother, my lovely sister.
My friends, my beloved school friends, from those wonderful days on the banks of the Tiernsee.
The other nuns from my order, many of who could not speak out against the government. Still more, who dared to speak out against Fascism and Nazism, and who have met similar fates as myself.
They faced their deaths with dignity. The least I can do is the same.

It’s an hour before dawn. I now measure the rest of my life in minutes rather than hours.
The guard unlocks the cell door and a woman – another of the prisoners - enters. We attended the same school, but at different times, so I did not know her until we met here. I knew of her – my sister had told me of her exploits.
She sobs in my arms. I comfort her and remind her that now is not the time to be a spineless jellyfish. I can feel the laugh that goes through her body at this saying from her school days. I don’t remember hearing this saying before meeting her, but I think it’s appropriate.
Alixe must survive. So young, so much to live for.
At twenty six I suddenly feel old.

I walk, proud and tall, to the place of my death.
They offer me a blindfold – I refuse it. I want to see the world for one last time.
I turn to face five men in olive green uniforms standing twenty metres away from me.
I listen to the charges being read out – treason, sedition, assisting enemies of the Reich. I was not granted that most basic human right – the right to defend myself against these charges.
Steel strands of barbed wire cut through the red sky. Red sky in the morning - it will rain later today. I love the rain and realize that I will miss it. Perhaps it occasionally rains in heaven. I hope so.
The bleak landscape surrounding the camp. No forest, no trees, nothing but bare land.
The faces of other prisoners, grey and drawn due to the deprivations we suffer in the camp. Some are weeping, some are angry. Others are expressionless. This is not the first time they have witnessed a prisoner’s death.
The eyes of one of the firing squad. Such a very young face with beautiful bright blue eyes. Beautiful bright blue eyes, showing no signs of emotion of what he has to do. He is a soldier, after all, and soldiers obey their superiors’ orders.
A flash of flame from a rifle barrel.
The acrid stench of gunpowder.
A brief moment of pain as the bullet slams into my chest and then…
I have come home, to my Lord, and am free.

 

#2:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:39 am

Beatiful! Not the way I imagined Luigia dying, but certainly possible.

 

#3:  Author: Kathryn, Location: Melbourne/Hamilton until 11 September PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:51 am

Powerful stuff.

 

#4:  Author: Kirsty, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:02 am

Thank goodness I'm alone in the office! Beautiful & powerful, and I'm crying quietly into a tissue.

 

#5:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:42 am

How beautiful. I have no other words to say except thank you

 

#6:  Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:47 am

Embarassed Embarassed
Thanks all. I'm pleased this works for you.
I was worried about it being a little bit too melodramatic....

 

#7:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:36 am

Crying or Very sad thank you Crying or Very sad

 

#8:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:59 am

Nicole, that wasn't meoldramatic at all. It was incredibly moving, and gave me chills down the back of my neck! I look forward to more of your writing - so much feeling and emotion!

 

#9:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:18 am

Nicole, that was incredible. thank you so much.

 

#10:  Author: Nina, Location: Peterborough, UK PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:24 am

Wow! Cool where's the tissue box ... That's really good

 

#11:  Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:26 am

*hurriedly hauls in tissue box and wonders why I didn't think of it before*

 

#12:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:39 am

*Struck dumb* - and that is meant as a compliment

 

#13:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:54 am

Oh gosh, that was fantastic. I've gone all goosebumpy and shakey.

 

#14:  Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 12:23 pm

That was amazing. And so different to everything normally on this board.

 

#15:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:29 pm

That was wonderful, Nicole. I have gone that bit before you cry which is the first time ever on C&D for me.

*not terribly coherent*

small voice: may I post it on the SDL, please?

 

#16:  Author: Abi, Location: Alton, Hants PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:39 pm

Nicole, that was beautiful. Thank you for that.

 

#17:  Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.Ireland PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:08 pm

Nicole, thank you very much.

I can't think of the words to express the feeling, but the tears are running down my face. Very emotional.

 

#18:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 6:23 pm

Thank you, Nicole, that was so moving.

 

#19:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:28 pm

It made my spine go all tingly. A truly beautiful and moving piece Nicole.

 

#20:  Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet! PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:29 pm

That is wonderful Nicole and very powerful!

 

#21:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:30 pm

Thank you Nicole. Crying or Very sad

 

#22:  Author: claire, Location: SOUTH WALES PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:49 pm

Wonderful Nicole, very sweet and so instantly recognisable as Luigia's death

 

#23:  Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:26 am

Crying or Very sad
What a story.
Thank you.

 

#24:  Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right! PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:42 am

Crying or Very sad How powerful - it brought a lump to my throat ..... Poor Luigia Sad

Thank you it was beautiful

 

#25:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:43 am

That was beautiful and painful at the same time. I've wondered about Luigia before and this is a perfect end for her, so brave in the face of so much horror.
Thank you.

 

#26:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 4:45 am

Nicole, that was beautiful! thank you!

 

#27:  Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:27 am

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. It means a lot, as many of you have written drabbles and stories that have just moved me so much when I've read them.

I've just reread the story as objectively as I could and am kind of awestruck now. I can't believe I wrote that...
I was going to delete the document as I didn't think it worked. I'm pleased I didn't now.
Anyway, I've found a couple of things I'm not happy with in the story, so will fix those up at some stage over the next few days and I'll then send it to Liss for the SDL. If someone would like to volunteer to beta read it once I've made the changes to check my spelling and grammar, I would very much appreciate it. Just PM or email me....

Thanks again all. You've given me such a huge buzz when I've been reading through your comments. It's made me appreciate how much feedback is important to drabblers - and believe me from now on I'm going to be telling you what a brilliant job you're doing with your drabbles, rather than just thinking "Wow"

*huggles, chocolate and Baileys to all*

 

#28:  Author: Aletea not logged in,  PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:09 pm

Thank you, that was beautiful.

 

#29:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 3:18 pm

Wow thanks Nicole that was beautiful.

 

#30:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 6:40 pm

Nicole, that was beautiful. i have tears running down my face. Thank you.

 

#31:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:20 pm

Nicole I ahve just seen this. It was amazing, truely deeply moving.

Thank you so much for posting it.

 

#32:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:37 pm

Thanks for moving this back up, Sue - I've just read it ...

Extremely poignant and beautifully captured - I can just imagine Luigia facing her death with such dignity and composure

Thank you and well done Nicole

 

#33:  Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:52 pm

I'll do the proof-reading for you, Nicole, if you would like me to.

 

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