The CBB :: View topic - Carolyn and Xan

#1: Carolyn and Xan Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:09 pm

Xan really appreciated Carolyn's offer of a temporary home. She had left Cambridge at the end of term, hoping for a quiet vacation, but Chloë's new hobby of being a mime artist, although technically silent, was very very disturbing. Xan had mentioned this in a MSN conversation, and Carolyn had said
"Why don't you come stay with me and D for a couple of weeks?"
"Are you sure Carolyn? It's really generous, but I don't want to be in the way or anything."
"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure." Carolyn had replied, and in a very short space of time, Xan was on the train up to Carolyn's house.

Carolyn showed Xan over the house, poiting out where Xan would be sleeping et cetera, and finally showed Xan the bathroom.
"Feel free to take a bath whenever you like Xan," Carolyn said. "We might live in the North, but we do have running water!"
"Wow!" Xan was deeply impressed, having always believed the North (being anything past the M25 to be North) was a truly uncivilized place.
"Yes, we may not have electrickery yet, but we do have running water." Carolyn beamed at Xan, who nervously smiled back.

Two days later, Xan decided it was time to take a bath. Mainly because without electricity it was too dark to do anything else. She filled the tub up to the brim, went back to her suitcase and brought out Derek the Duck. Happily Xan took Derek the (rubber) duck back into the bathroom, and climbed in to the bath.

Ten minutes later, the bathroom door opened, and Carolyn came in.

Xan shrieked.

Carolyn looked at Xan in disgust. "What on earth are you making all that noise for? You'll wake the children!"
"I'm in the BATH!" screeched Xan.
"Obviously," replied Carolyn.
"But I'm IN THE BATH!" screeched Xan again,
"Yes dear, we already established that." Carolyn was trying hard to remain polite to her house guest, but idiots were always hard to put up with.
"But I'm in the bath," wailed Xan, trying desperately to hide Derek.
"I KNOW!" replied Carolyn, beginning to get heated in the face of stupidity.
"But you're in here!" cried Xan.
"Well, you didn't lock the door." Replied Carolyn.

Xan left the next day, preferring to be mimed at by Chloë for the rest of the holiday than have Carolyn walk in on her in the bath again.

"Strange girl," mused Carolyn after Xan's departure,
"Very!" responded D. "Surely everyone knows that if you don't lock the door at home, you must be wanting company?"
"You would think so," replied Carolyn, sinking back into the bubbles.

Last edited by Rachel on Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:11 pm

Using the bath for washing yourself, Carolyn? I thought that was where people kept their coal?

#3: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:16 pm

LOL
very funny RTW ..... especially as I was in on the MSN IM chat that started it Smile

#4: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:18 pm

*shrieking in horror*

Rachel you ratbag!

I KNOW there's electricity up there! I lived in Lancs for three months last year!

*blushing like a peony*

#5: Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:18 pm

Highly amusing. *thinks the North South hostilities have commenced!*

#6: Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:19 pm

LOL - great Rachel - I like this MSN thingy

#7: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:24 pm

LOL Rachel!

#8: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:27 pm

Carolyn wants me to type a retraction. Here goes:

I hereby retract my earlier statement that Northerners have no electricity. It must be my own hideous experience of living in a place where we only had three television channels, no mains gas, a bus once an hour if we were lucky and a town approximately forty miles away clouding my imagination. I digress. Some northerners have electricity, They are the ones who do nothing but watch Coronation Street and consider it a high class documentary.

#9: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:28 pm

Trying to be provocative, Rachel?

#10: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:29 pm

We had electricity where I lived... no central heating though *shivers*

#11: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:32 pm

We have electricity, gas, and hundreds of TV chanels and haven't watched CS in years.

Will have to think about war!! Evil or Very Mad

#12: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:33 pm

Jennie wrote:

Trying to be provocative, Rachel?

Trying?

Or succeeding? Smile

#13: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:33 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

Will have to think about war!! Evil or Very Mad

*squeaks in terror*

#14: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:34 pm

Surely Xanthe the Destroyer will stride into battle?

#15: Author: catherine, Location: York

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:35 pm

I've lived in the north for most of my life, always had electricity and hardly ever watched CS! And all northerners know it to be a soap and not a documentary of any sort!

#16: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:36 pm

Come the revolution, Xanthe and Derek will be first

behind the sofa squeaking.

#17: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:37 pm

That was not kind, Rachel. Funny, but not kind.

#18: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:43 pm

Phew! Just as I intended then? Wink

#19: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:05 pm

My housemate was talking about Paddington Station today and how it links with the South West. I was like, "The South West? But trains go from there to Oxford - that's North!"

ROFL

#20: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:11 pm

Rachel wrote:

Come the revolution, Xanthe and Derek will be first behind the sofa squeaking.

sad, but perfectly true ROFL

#21: Author: KB, Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:41 pm

*giggles madly* Fantastic stuff, Rachel! Thanks!

#22: Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly!

Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:46 pm

*giggling madly* very funny Laughing

Poor Xanthe!

#23: Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:07 am

*echoes Pim's mad giggles* Very, very funny!

#24: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:09 am

pim wrote:

Poor Xanthe!

*appreciates the sympathy*

Chloë looked deeply disgusted (once she had finished laughing) an said she REALLY didn't want to think about me in the bath...

#25: Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:33 am

Love it - more of the same please Rachel!

#26: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:38 am

Lesley

more of me and Carolyn being ridiculed? thanks...

#27: Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough.......

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 4:12 am

*giggles wildly*

That was inspired!!
Thanks Rachel!!

(although i do feel sorry for Xan, Carolyn and Derek the duck!!!)

#28: Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 6:34 am

Absolutely wonderful, Rachel.

"Echoing the mad giggles and sympathy for Xan*

(Xan - I think Xanthe the Terrible can take Rachel TW in a fight)

#29: Author: Mandy, Location: Derry, N.Ireland

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:35 am

*very worried for Derek's sanity*

#30: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Redcar

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:08 pm

Catherine_B wrote:

My housemate was talking about Paddington Station today and how it links with the South West. I was like, "The South West? But trains go from there to Oxford - that's North!"

ROFL

Oxford is most certainly not the north. As far as I'm concerned, anything south of Yorkshire cannot be called 'The North'. Wink

#31: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:34 pm

It's North if you're from Kent or Cornwall! Laughing

Rachel, I do so wish I had been on the MSN convo responsible for that effusion!!! Hilarious.

*starting to regret hermitish tendencies at the moment*

#32: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:36 pm

It depends on whether you mean 'the north' or north of where you are geographically. 'The north' starts in Yorkshire. South of that is the Midlands, and then the bit where the soft southerners live!!!

#33: Author: edith, Location: Shropshire/Powys/my own mind!

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:48 pm

Quote:

It must be my own hideous experience of living in a place where we only had three television channels, no mains gas, a bus once an hour if we were lucky and a town approximately forty miles away clouding my imagination. I digress. Some northerners have electricity, They are the ones who do nothing but watch Coronation Street and consider it a high class documentary.

No mains gas round here!
And not always terrestrial TV-I'm lucky where i live i can get them all but my friend has to have satelite TV to get anything and theres areas with no mobile signal, a rteliable bus service would be good too. my nearest town-pop very small has no bus from where i live to it, buses everywhere else but none from Berriew/Garthmyl, oh and its the nearest doctors-so if anyone can't drive they have to catch the shrewsbury to Llanidloes bus to go to Welshpool or Newtown. My connexions card they made us hasve in school isn't valid for any shops closer than Shrewsbury where there is the only large hospital in the area...

#34: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 3:21 pm

And as far as I'm concerned that's in the south!!!

So Yah! Boo! Sucks!

#35: Author: Chloë, Location: London: when away from home planet!

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 3:26 pm

I have to say i did giggle that this

Rachel me beinga mime at the moment is really and truely annoying for me and my family as i poke them unitl they look at me as i can't talk but i hope Xan wont move out because of it i've tried harder to get her out and its not worked so far Wink

and that's a cheat if she does of this!

#36: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 1:54 am

I live even futher North than Carolyn and we have electrickery and gas and TV. Satellite is available but we just have normal TV. We have good roads a reliable bus service etc.

Shropshire is the South, so is Oxford from here.

Actually Carolyn you are South to us!!!

#37: Author: Nicole, Location: New Zealand

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 9:20 am

Um - it's all north to me....

*slightly embarrased by my lack of geographical knowledge* Embarassed

#38: Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair; sometimes in Hampshire, England, UK, Europe, Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 10:25 am

There's guaranteed to be another MSN inspired drabble coming to a thread near you soon!

There was almost one last night, and I think the initial inspiration for it is still here, so tonight could see it arriving in C&D!

Yes, the rats the size of carthorses and the poltergeist are becoming REALLY irritating now!

#39: Author: Rachael,

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 11:41 am

Enjoed this - particularly the way it's sparked the big North-South divide!! Very Happy

LOL!

*agog for the next Shocked

#40: Author: Katarzyna, Location: Preston, Lancashire

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:54 pm

Not so sure about the North South divide but I could put in a mention for the Peoples Republic of Lancashire!! Wink

#41: Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 5:34 pm

Where do the Fens come in the scheme of things?

#42: Author: Alex, Location: Home again

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:00 pm

Rosie you beat me to it. I was just about to say that Oxford and Shropshire are both in the WEST! HA!

#43: Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 10:56 pm

Katarzyna wrote:

Not so sure about the North South divide but I could put in a mention for the Peoples Republic of Lancashire!! Wink

Can I be an honorary member Kate?

*a Merseysider - and as Merseyside technically doesn't exist anymore, and was made from part of Lancashire...*

#44: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 11:46 am

Rosie wrote:

Where do the Fens come in the scheme of things?

North! North! You cross the Thames and you're in the North!

#45: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 1:12 pm

Xan, dear, it's obvious that you aren't reading Geography at Cambridge! Tut tut, haven't you heard of Fen Tigers yet?

We're in dear old East Anglia, the home of the carrot and the turnip.

#46: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 2:39 pm

which says everything!! Smile

#47: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 2:41 pm

Unfortunately it does. Never mind, at least I was born in Nottinghamshire.

#48: Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 6:30 pm

Jennie wrote:

Xan, dear, it's obvious that you aren't reading Geography at Cambridge! Tut tut, haven't you heard of Fen Tigers yet?

We're in dear old East Anglia, the home of the carrot and the turnip.

*laughs hysterically*
Next question, have you not yet MET any Fen Tigers? There are a fair few still kicking about...

#49: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 5:33 pm

I have, Rosie. The question is, have you?

#50: Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 3:27 pm

Love the wars this thing has sparked off!

Born a suvvanah (in Isleworth) to a scouse mum and Dundonian Da, we moved up to Glasgae when I was five. And we have electricity AND gas AND running water up there.

As we do when we're staying in our Merseyside home (in Crosby).

So yah boo sucks to all you softies who think anywhere north of the Thames is "oop north"

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