The Chalet School and Doggerel
The CBB -> Cookies & Drabbles
#1: The Chalet School and Doggerel Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:18 pm

OK - so I've had a couple of these up my sleeve for a while and not been sure when/if to post them ...
They are blatant "takes" on various famous poems and all you have to do is guess the real poem and its author Very Happy
Please also feel free to do your own as I haven't done that many!

A new term’s starting up at the Chalet
“Is everything packed?” demanded Joey
“Of course, Mama, yes” the Triplets replied
“I’m pleased about that – you give me pride!” ………. said Joey

A new term’s starting up at the Chalet
Mrs Trelawney kisses her daughter
“Our One And Only, I’ll greatly miss you”
“I should think so too!” said Mary-Lou ………. “You ought’ter!”

A new term’s starting up at the Chalet
“These letters will never end” groans Hilda
“Another new girl? We don’t have the room!
This pressure will drive me to my tomb” ………. cries Hilda

A new term’s starting up at the Chalet
Miss Ferrars is driving up with Nancy
They’ve had great hols but the school now draws near
Says Nance to Kathie, “It’s you, my dear, ………. I fancy!”

A new term’s starting up at the Chalet
The Prees are nervous about their new roles
Freshly appointed, they’ll do their best
Following the footsteps of the rest ………. Bless their souls!

A new term’s starting up at the Chalet
Alarms and excursions waiting to fall
The Staff make good plans but to no avail
Let’s hope their guardian angels prevail ………. at first call

 

#2:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:20 pm

They're changing guards at Buckingham Palace, by AA Milne

 

#3:  Author: Ciorstaidh, Location: London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:25 pm

fabulous!

Unfortunately, I'm rubbish at poetry, even doggerel, so someone else will have to have a go Very Happy

 

#4:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:15 pm

*cringes with embarrassment*

I can't believe I just wrote this!!!

The snow was an icy glitter across the alpine waste,
The sky was blue as sapphires made from expensive paste,
The trees were ghostly stumps arising from the slope,
And the Chalet girls came sledging -
Sledging – sledging
The Chalet girls came sledging down the treacherous alpine slope.

 

#5:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:22 pm

Ooh, I recognise it but I can't place it ...
*off to consider*

(love the "expensive paste" bit!!)

 

#6:  Author: Guest,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:36 pm

Liss, was that based on "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes?

If not, it fits wonderfully!

 

#7:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:40 pm

Rachael, I can't believe you've started this!

There's more:

They wore tinted specs at their temples, and trousers of gentian blue,
With crimson ski-jackets flying and woolly hats a-new
They fitted over their pigtails (Matey fixed them well up high):
They sledged with voices screaming
High voices raised in screaming
Young voices screaming with laughter, under the cloudless (yet strangely, ominously looming indicative of a sudden and completely unexpected storm) sky.

ETA: Yes, young guest, it was The Highwayman.

 

#8:  Author: Emily, Location: Munchkinland PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:55 pm

Liss, I've always loved The Highwayman, and now I love it even more! And well done Rachael!

 

#9:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:09 pm

LOL, Liss - are you going to do the whole of the Highwayman? Shocked
Well done Guest!!

Here's another:
Yes, I remember Verity –
The name, because one afternoon
Of song, she would not sing in German
Most stubbornly. Was it in June?

Silence fell. Many hid a smile.
No one spoke, Miss Cochrane frowned,
Plato raged and stormed. What I saw
Was Verity – her voice she’d drowned

And classmates, friends, all stood around
With bated breath, they watched the scene
Her banishment, forbidd’n to sing
An apology she must mean.

Then unexpected her Dad turned up
He talked, and helped her see her folly,
Saying “Sorry” with swallowed pride
She returned to class all jolly.

 

#10:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:13 pm

Aldershot (or whatever it's called) by Edward someone (?Thompson???). I love that poem (despite not knowing what it's called).

Last edited by Liss on Wed Apr 07, 2004 7:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#11:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:15 pm

*giggle*

OK, yes - Adlestrop by Edward Thomas!!

 

#12:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:25 pm

That was so good, Rachael! I hope you're planning to post the rest straight away.

(Sorry, I should have said that in my first post! Embarassed )

 

#13:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:37 pm

But it's your turn now! Wink

 

#14:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:42 pm

Ever ready for the challenge...

Over the snow-glazed landscape they ski and slip and slide
They launch themselves onto toboggans (though some may try to hide)
They coast down the icy sliding slopes on bright red school-owned sleds
All girls from Junior Middles
The Middle Middles as well
The Seniors, though, are too grand, and play with their skis instead.

 

#15:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:45 pm

Well done Rachael & Liss, brilliantly inventive.
Well done me too, coz I recognised Alderstrop and I didn't think I would know any of them.
That's probably the only one I will recognise.

 

#16:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:48 pm

Excellent, Liss! - I love the rhythm of it - the sledging works so well instead of the horseride ...
Now, not quite sure why I'm posting a "pome" against one verse from you!! Confused

If trilingualism does not prove a shock
With French and German spoken twice a week,
If you’re comfy with the twenty-four hour clock
And assured this does not mean you are a freak,
If your pref’rence tends towards an icy bath
Hustling there and back with no sign of a splash,
If you’ve courage still to face old Matey’s wrath
Choking down her patent nostrum in a dash,

If it’s rich food you expect whene’er you dine
And you’ve the constitution of an ox,
If you find a mound of whipped cream quite divine
And you’ll clear away your own cutl’ry and crocks,
Or if you’ve the nerve to join a midnight feast,
And munch on sardines, cake and e’en raw meat
Without nightmare or being told you are a beast,
Then you’ve achieved a quite impressive feat!

If you find the colour growing in your cheeks
‘Cause of air that’s fresh and dry and very cold,
If you’ve kept your sense of balance o’er the weeks
And have learnt that nailed boots take a better hold,
If you ski without the crossing of your toes
Or toboggan with control and at some speed,
If you run towards a window when it snows
And listen and of good advice take heed,

If at first your curtsey tends towards a bob
But you’ve learnt to execute it with some flare,
If in tennis you can serve and smash and lob
Then turn to calm your Juniors with a glare,
If throughout the year it’s good grades you amass
And you’ve climbed the formlists in a steady whirl
Then to self and parents you’re a credit, lass
And – which is more – you’ll be a Chalet girl!

 

#17:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 3:50 pm

Too easy! Kipling - If.

Rachael wrote:
If in tennis you can serve and smash and lob
Then turn to calm your Juniors with a glare,


...loved that! These are sooo good! When on earth did you do them?

(And I think one verse to a poem is perfectly reasonable!)

 

#18:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:01 pm

At work, when bored Embarassed
Actually, I was inspired after KB's fine carol countdown to Christmas and thought it might be fun to do a countdown to the Gathering but as I only ever managed 4 or 5 it didn't work out!!

*looking forward to Liss's next verse!!*

Or a poem from someone else? Very Happy

 

#19:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:05 pm

*shamelessly hogging the limelight*

A new poem, I think...

I met a tourist from a continental tour
Who said: Two large and wooden chalets
Stand on a platz. Near them, right next door,
Not far, behind a hedge, a house, whose name
And timeless mistress, and air of welcome saw
That the author well those feelings read,
Which yet unfold, spoken in countless drabbles more.
And on its lintel these words appear:
“This house is Freudesheim, a happy home:
You have a family here, my dear, and do not fear!”
No welcome is more clear. Due to the smile
Of that warm-hearted girl, comforted at last
The lone and homesick Middle sleeps a while.

 

#20:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:14 pm

Ozymandias!! (Shelley)

Well done - that was on my list and I never got round to it!! Very Happy



LOL! My name is Joey Maynard - foundation stone of foundation stones!!

*extremely impressed by the speed with which Liss penned that one!!*

 

#21:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:26 pm

*murmurs something about an addiction*

How sweet to be a Pree
Lording it in the school!
Every little Pree
Always sings aloud:

“How sweet to be a Pree
Lording it in the school!”
It fills her with much glee
To be a little Pree.

 

#22:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:38 pm

This isn't spreeing. Oh no.

Mark but this girl, and mark in this,
How unfair that which thou comdemn’st me for [is];
I sinn’d the first, yet she sins more,
I stop’d leave; she throws Len to the floor.
Thou know’st that this cannot be said
A lark, nor game, nor part of being a Head;
Yet this allowed when it’s an old girl,
And justice flees when faced with such a pearl;
And all this for Grizel – alas! such a churl.

Probably easier to guess, though I have mangled the original shamefully!

 

#23:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:40 pm

Hmmm - well, the first is Winnie the Pooh singing about how nice it is to be a cloud ....

And the second one seems familiar ... will think on it but in the meantime ...

What is the problem with Mary-Lou?
It’s strange that nobody has a clue
They all think she’s normal … I wonder … do you?
Then join the chorus – “It’s just Mary-Lou!”

What is the problem with Mary-Lou?
They say it’s not cheek but that’s not true
If it was anyone else, the air would turn blue!
So join the chorus – “It’s just Mary-Lou!”

What is the problem with Mary-Lou?
Knocked by Emmy’s sled, through the air she flew,
A crack to the head then she grew and grew,
Now join the chorus – “It’s just Mary-Lou!”

What is the problem with Mary-Lou?
She’s interfering again - silly moo!
Will anyone ever take courage and sue?
Or join the chorus – “It’s just Mary-Lou!”

What is the problem with Mary-Lou?
Our One and Only, do you loath her too?
If you’re wanting to blast her, remember the queue …
Then join the chorus – “It’s just Mary-Lou!”

Last edited by Rachael on Tue Apr 06, 2004 5:01 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#24:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:53 pm

*guessing wildly*

Something from the Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats?

 

#25:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:58 pm

No - in fairness, it's probably a tricky one ...

AA Milne again Rolling Eyes - Rice Pudding
The little girl in the poem is actually Mary-Jane ... but I couldn't resist!!

 

#26:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 5:12 pm

These are great, but I can't do one at that speed....will have a ponder tonight and see what I can come up with.

 

#27:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 5:22 pm

Mine have most definitely NOT been done at speed - Liss is the queen for that!
Liss - I give up - what was that last one please?
Please do write one Carolyn - I feel like we've scared everyone off!!

Last one: (I have no more up my sleeve - just a couple of first lines after which inspiration dried up!!)

I must go back to the School again, to the Chalet School on the Alp,
And all I ask? That my hair’s down, not coiled up round my scalp!
To snowy slopes, and the lake’s shine and the mountains glistening,
To the bright sun in the blue sky and the girls all listening,

I must go back to the school again, for the call of my Alma Mater
Is a strong call and a deep call - like Herr Bar (Vater);
And all I ask is to see the Chalet, not new ski runs,
And the taste of roast veal and Kartoff’ln, and whipped cream buns.

I must go back to the school again, to the innocence of yoof, (cringe!)
To girls’ chatter and their shoes’ patter, where nobody stands aloof;
And all I ask are memories that with my friends I’ll share,
And some old snapshots and sweet dreams of the years well spent there.

 

#28:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 5:35 pm

Mine was John Donne's The Flea.

Yours was John Masefield's (??) I must go back to the sea again (not sure of actual title)

And Carolyn, definitely write one as well!

 

#29:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:20 pm

These are fantastic! I'm loving reading them, although I've only guessed on or two so far. What a talented set of individuals we appear to have on the board!

Particularly enjoyed Rachael's last one about Mary-Lou!

 

#30:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:53 pm

Aren't you clever, I really enjoyed those and am struck (nearly) dumb with admiration.

I can only do limericks and Haiku but here goes:

There was a young lady called Jo
Who didn’t think for a mo
Up a mountain she went
All hell bent
To rescue Grizel from the snow

 

#31:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:01 pm

You're all so clever!!!!
*realising how little poetry I know!!!!*

 

#32:  Author: Nicci, Location: UK PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:07 pm

PatMac wrote:
Aren't you clever, I really enjoyed those and am struck (nearly) dumb with admiration.

I can only do limericks and Haiku but here goes:

There was a young lady called Jo
Who didn’t think for a mo
Up a mountain she went
All hell bent
To rescue Grizel from the snow


I dunno Patmac, that ain't bad off the top of your head! Are you sure you're not the mystery songwriter?

 

#33:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 11:08 pm

Really, really enjoying these, and think you are all very talented - admits to knowing slightly less poetry than one of my cats!

More please!

 

#34:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 11:31 pm

Nicci wrote:
I dunno Patmac, that ain't bad off the top of your head! Are you sure you're not the mystery songwriter?


Absolutely not. Wish I could do that sort of thing.

 

#35:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 12:01 am

Didn't get round to it but have the puter all day tomorrow so will sit down with a poetry book and see what happens!

 

#36:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 12:09 am

Oh dear - the only ones I knew where AA Milne & If Embarassed
But they are amazing - very very clever people in the CBB

 

#37:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:25 am

In the silent dormy creeping
With white-tipped cap came Matey sneaking
Middles lay without a squeaking
For fear that there would be force feeding
The lot of castor oil theirs
Ignoring as a young Middle howled
(Con's dreams disturbed by stories growled)
In amongst the beds she prowled
The Matron of St Clare's.

 

#38:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:04 am

Love that one Liss.........Hiawatha? It's certainly got the rhythm.

 

#39:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 11:08 am

Shame on me, Liss - I studied John Donne and The Flea for A-level!! And it's such a cool poem, too ...! Embarassed
Love the Hiawatha - Kathie Ferrars would be proud of you!!

Also liked your limerick, PatMac Very Happy You have now inspired me, thanks Cool - see below in tribute to the Maynards but with apologies for some woeful rhyming!! LOL!

BTW I think some haikus would also be fun - *hopeful*

The head of the Maynards was Jack
Who fell from a boat with a crack,
They thought he was dead
‘Twas a headache instead,
As sensed by a small Highland quack

His wife was that woman called Jo
Whose chief hate was learning to sew
“It’s no use!” she mocks,
Whilst botching his socks,
“I’m much better off when I row!”

Their first-born we all know as Len
Whose sisters and bros totalled ten
As eldest she swore
That her troubles were more
And thus she became mother hen

The second young lady, called Con,
Seemed quiet but secretly shone,
She daydreams, it’s true,
To worlds that are new,
But one day she could be a don

The youngest Trip was our Margot
Who tried to eat an escargot
“It’s slimy!” she cried,
“But tasty if fried …”
And then she left for Key Largo

The eldest of sons was called Steve
Who wanted his Mum to believe
That he loved the clan,
A family man,
- In truth he was desperate to leave!

Next in line was Charles, known as Chas,
Who harboured a passion for jazz
They thought him a priest
But knew him the least
For he loved all that razzamatazz

The singleton next was named Mike
Who went on his own little hike,
He tripped on a ledge
Close to the cliff edge
Sighed Jo, “Him and Margot are like!”

Felix was the elder of twins,
Chockful of original sins,
To gambling he turned
His fam’ly he spurned
Whilst counting his ill-gotten wins

Felicity didn’t like “Flix”
And frowned at her brother’s mad tricks
Mad for the ballet
She fled to Calais
And found herself in quite a fix

Named after Robin, came Cecil,
(Shall I use “trestle” or “vessel”?)
Abducted was she,
Saved by sisters three,
Who with her captor did wrestle

There’s little we know about Geoff
And nothing much rhymes except “F”
His skin was quite fair
And red was his hair
And he must have sung but which clef?

Our last but not least then is Phil
Who fell so dramatically ill,
They feared for her life
Such trouble and strife,
Thank goodness she came through the mill!

 

#40:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 11:27 am

*applauds wildly*

That was fantastic, Rachael!!

And mine wasn't after Hiawatha, but The Lady of Shalott (eurgh), though quite possibly the rhythms are the same (wouldn't know - not a Longfellow fan).

My next offering:

I wish I loved that Mary-Lou
I wish I loved her 'sixpence-and-two'
I wish I loved her famed umbrella
I wish I loved her 'hail-met-well-fella'
And when I hear that she is squashed
I wish I thought, "that makes me cross!"

Not sure if anyone will recognise that one...

 

#41:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 11:56 am

I can see the rhythm/rhyme thing between Hiawatha and Lady of Shalott - makes perfect sense (incidentally, I have trouble picturing the Lady as anything other than a small onion!! Wink )

I'm stumped on this new one though - where's it from?
(I liked it!! Especially umbrella and hail-met-well-fella!!!)

 

#42:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 12:04 pm

Rachael wrote:
I can see the rhythm/rhyme thing between Hiawatha and Lady of Shalott - makes perfect sense (incidentally, I have trouble picturing the Lady as anything other than a small onion!! Wink )


*shrieks*

I wonder if that's quite the effect Tennyson had in mind? *ponders* I loath the damn thing, myself (she's the biggest idiot in the world - ooh look at Lancelot isn't he pretty oh whoops looked out the window damn curse let's leap in a boat and dieeee). I mean, honestly!

The last one was 'Wishes of an Old Man at a Garden Party' (or some such title), by Sir Walter Raleigh the 99th.

This one was based on what Jacynth Hardy said about Plas Howell in *Gay*:

She stands in splendour, like a ma'am
Of ageing beauty and dateless grace;
And all that's good of wisdom and charm
Meets in her aspect and her face.

Didn't quite work, but the intention was there!

Last edited by Liss on Wed Apr 07, 2004 2:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#43:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 1:49 pm

This isn't quite up to the standard of some of Liss', but I have tried at least.

The original could have stood as it was with just Joey's name substituted, but I have changed a little more!

Josephine Bettany
Had wheezles
And sneezles,
They bundled her
Into
The san.
They gave her what goes
With a cold in the nose.
And some more from a
Jolly great can.
They wondered
If whezzles
Could turn
Into measles,
If sneezles
Would turn
Into mumps;
Matey examined her chest
For a rest
And some more
Of the girls for swellings and lumps.

They sent for Jem Russell
The doctor
The great one
To tell them what ought
To be done.

All sorts and conditions
Of Tiernsee physicians
Came hurrying around
When Madge called.
They all made a note
Of the state of Jo’s throat,
They asked if she spurned winter coats;
They asked if the sneezles
Came after the wheezles
Or if Jo had jumped
From a boat.
They said, “If you catch,
A cold
Or a chill,
A measle
May easily grow.
But mustard or ointment,
And sup
Matey’s nostrom
The measle
Will certainly go,”

Thy expounded the reazles
For sneezles
And wheezles,
The singing of Red
Sarafan.
They said “If Jo freezles
In draughts and in breezles,
Then PHTHEEZLES
Will ravage the San”
………….

Josephine Bettany
Got up in the morning,
The sneezles had vanished away.
And the look in her eye
Seemed to say to the sky,
"Now how to amuse them today?”

 

#44:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 1:54 pm

That is great! Don't talk yourself down!!

 

#45:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 2:17 pm

*giggles*

I've loved all of these Mr. Green

 

#46:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 2:27 pm

That was great, Caroyn! Got any more? Anyone else inspired?

*drum roll please*

The One And Only

The snow was an icy glitter across the alpine waste
The sky was blue as sapphires made from expensive paste
The trees were ghostly stumps arising from the slope
And the Chalet girls came sledging
Sledging – sledging
The Chalet girls came sledging down the treacherous alpine slope

They wore tinted specs at their temples, and trousers of gentian blue,
With crimson ski-jackets flying and woolly hats a-new
They fitted over their pigtails (Matey fixed them well up high):
They sledged with voices screaming
High voices raised in screaming
Young voices screaming with laughter, under the cloudless sky.

Over the snow-glazed landscape they ski and slip and slide
They launch themselves onto toboggans (though some may try to hide)
They coast down the icy sliding slopes on bright red school-owned sleds
All girls from Junior Middles
The Middle Middles as well
The Seniors, though, are too grand, and play with their skis instead.

They never did heed their teachers; the prefects were equally fooled
Onto a sled climbed the Middles, and chattered as they spooled
But down the slope of the mountain, a darkened tree-stump loo[med ]
The sled ran into the tree-stump
Launched and flew from the tree-stump
Came wheeling over the tree-stump and crashed into Mary-Lou.

Alas! cold and still on the mountain, to all appearances dead
With cheeks of ashy grey and blood pouring out of her head.
The girls gathered round the body and wailed their woes aloud:
“Alas, our one and only!
Farewell, our one and only!”
And they buried the one and only, as soon as it was allowed.

 

#47:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 2:41 pm

Thanks Liss.

Loved the ending to that.

(working on another two)

 

#48:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:03 pm

Carolyn - that was brilliant! Very Happy
Looking forward to the next two .... !

Liss - glad we got the rest yours - what an ending!! Very Happy Shocked

Right - who's next?

 

#49:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:15 pm

How about this one???

If I should leave, think only this of me:
That there's a girl in some distant land
Who is for ever Chalet. There shall be
In her rich life a richer life concealed;
A girl whom school bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, her lessons to learn, corridors to roam,
A Chalet girl, breathing Alpine air,
Washed by cold baths, blest by Christmas plays.


And think, this child, all evil Joey’ed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by school given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In daughters a plenty, All of them Chalet Girls.

 

#50:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:15 pm

Liss wrote:
She stands in splendour, like a ma'am
Of ageing beauty and dateless grace;
And all that's good of wisdom and charm
Meets in her aspect and her face.

Didn't quite work, but the intention was there!


I think I know that one, Byron surely, She walks in beauty....

Yours was good too Carolyn, anyone that can write these is brilliant

 

#51:  Author: Donna, Location: Liverpool PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:35 pm

All of these are brilliant - I just wish i could recognise where they came from more! I've only got 'If' so far, though Carolyn, is your last one the Rupert Brook poem? - 'The Soldier' I think its called.

 

#52:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:45 pm

That's right Donna.

 

#53:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 3:58 pm

I love that poem, Carolyn!

*sighs*

Having distinct problems with Philip Larkin...

 

#54:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 4:03 pm

Don't we all.

Having problems with Kenneth Graeme....which should be easier.

 

#55:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 4:41 pm

Wasn't online yesterday and have only just seen these think they are fantastic! Surprised myself but getting quite a few of them. There's one i might try at home tonight...

Last edited by Nell on Wed Apr 07, 2004 4:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#56:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 4:48 pm

I can't really do this, so it's just a short one, with thanks to Carolyn.

Remember thee! Remember thee!
The feisty maid’n who came to found
Much to the local parent’s glee
A school upon this foreign ground.

Remember thee! Aye doubt it not.
Thy husband too ought think of thee
When e’re the clone that he begot
Acts unto him so submissively

 

#57:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:00 pm

Great Ellie, glad you did it!



All along the Gornetz Platz,
Through the pine trees tall,
Girls are a-rambling,
Knapsacks all!


Blue coats, red scarves,
Tired knees a-quiver,
Naughty middles out of sight
Prefects give a shiver!


Flowery green undergrowth
Where the girls sit--
Here we pack our hanky’s,
Camera’s, first aid kit.

Everyone for what she likes!
We like to be
Heads down, knees bent,
Rambling free!


High in the blue above
Swifts whirl and call --
We are down a-rambling
Knapsacks all!

 

#58:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:49 pm

Here's a few Haiku or to be accurate, a Haika because it's a connected string.

Childhood memories
Of the long winter evenings
Curled up with a book

Firelight flickering
Laying on a rag rug
Propped up on elbows

How I remember
Pictures of girls gone by
And gentle stories

Now I am a woman
Grandmother, mother and wife
These books take me back

Far back to my youth
A time of innocence and
Gentler times for all

I wish I could think
That Elinor could know
The pleasure her books give

 

#59:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:51 pm

That's beautiful Patmac, thank you.

 

#60:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:08 pm

This isn't very good - but I'm a bear of little brain Embarassed

I often wish I were a Chaletian
Life would go according to my plan

If only I were a Chaletian from Spain
I’d always use my umbrella in the rain

If only I were a Chaletian from France
Miss Denny would teach me country dance

If only I were a Chaletian from Greece
On English days I’d only say “pleese?”

If only I were a Chaletian from Norway
I’d never use syrup to paint a doorway

If only I were a Chaletian from Babylon
I’d always admit when I’d done wrong

If only I were a Chaletian from Timbuctoo
Matey’s castor oil would be a thing to rue

If only I were a Chaletian from Mexico
Cold baths would make my body glow

If only I were a Chaletian from Italy
Bed would make me repent my sins bitterly

If only I were a Chaletian from The Hills
Everyone would admire my embroidery skills

If only I were a Chaletian from Wales
I’d tell my great great grandchildren my tales

If only I were a Chaletian from Aussie
I’d always wear a swimming hat with my cossie

If only I were a Chaletian from Germany
I’d always listen hard to the sermon-y

If only I were a Chaletian
My rhymes would always scan

(apologies to the most plagarised writer on this thread)

 

#61:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:25 pm

Such variety! I'm amazed at the hidden talent.

A little bit more, while we're all so keen!

Now we are all grown
And we all have changed so much
Innocent no more

Life has moulded us
The world seems less secure
Dangers everywhere

Yet we can go back
To a simpler world we knew
With these books we love

 

#62:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:50 pm

Wow, this is brilliant. The only poetry I'm up to speed on is French and Spanish and I wouldn't wish to reinflict that on anybody!!!!!

So some more please? *g*

 

#63:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:55 pm

Patmac, I love those.

Dawn, another AA Milne fan I see!


First two lines of last verse untouched,

I will arise and go now, and go to Tiernsee,
And a small school found there, with Grizel and Joey bright;
Nine young girls will I have there, a lawn for the summer tea,
And live together in the chalet white.


And we shall have some fun there, for fun comes thick and new,
Flowing from the pranks of middles to speaking foreign tongues;
There Mountains full of grandeur, the lake a sapphire blue,
And evening full of Margia’s songs.


I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear the water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I sit in the classroom, or in the dormies lay,
I hear it in the Chalet School.
.

 

#64:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:58 pm

These are all so good... lots of very talented people about Mr. Green

 

#65:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:34 pm

*turns green with envy at all the talent*

 

#66:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:23 am

Wonderful, some extremely talented people on this board!

 

#67:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:42 am

Carolyn - Yeats? Isle of Innisfree? (or whatever it's called)

 

#68:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:52 am

That was right Liss, one of my favourites. Always seeme so peaceful.

 

#69:  Author: Rachael,  PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:51 pm

Wow, guys - all superb!!
From today's catch-up I particularly liked Carolyn's "Up Tails All" and PatMac's haikus - very poignant

As for Philip Larkin!?! Shocked
Is it just me, who's thinking of his totally inappropriate poem?!! LOL!!

Here's another one for now ...

Eustacia’s a Chalet girl, an intellectual snob,
Latin parsing, Greek translation, a literary nob.
She’s the bafflement of all the school, Mdlle LePattre too,
For when it comes to normal rules – she hasn’t got a clue!
Eustacia, Eustacia, there's no one like Eustacia
She’s broken every schoolgirl code, she breaks the laws of fam’ly(a),
She loves to read, hates exercise – enough to make you stare,
And now it seems she’s run away — Eustacia’s not there!
They may seek her in the cupboard, they may seek her up the stair
But I tell you once and once again, Eustacia's not there!

Eustacia’s a fair-haired girl, she's middling height and slim
You would know her if you saw her, for her eyes are pale, not dim.
Her brow is deeply lined with thought, her head is slightly domed
Her coat now ripped and scratched and torn, her hair will be uncombed.
It seems she’s in a pickle now, she’s fallen out with Jo,
She’s injured Bill and upset Rob, creating so much woe.
Eustacia, Eustacia, there's no one like Eustacia
But now it seems she’s out of luck, stuck halfway up a glacier!
They may search throughout the building, they may search along the road
But when they look into her room, Eustacia isn’t there!

She's climbing up the rocks for life (they say that floods can kill)
And she eyes the rising water with a fear that makes her ill.
At last she finds a tiny niche, to which she clings all night
Her muscles strained and twisted, she fights with main and might
And as the darkness spreads its cloak, she offers up a prayer
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! She’s become all self aware!
And when the school author’ties find her letter, gone astray,
They realise that the silly child has simply run away
They may fret or try to reason or drop helpless in a chair
But it's useless to investigate – Eustacia’s's not there!

And when the loss has been disclosed, the local people say
"Where, oh where’s Eustacia?" - but she's a mile away.
At last they find her shivering, and from the mountain pluck her
It seems they’re all agreed she could not have been much luckier.
Eustacia, Eustacia, there's no one like Eustacia
There never was a girl who learned her lesson such a hard way.
Confined to bed to rest her back, she tries hard not to grumble
And no one seems to recognise her - “Where’s she gone?” they mumble
She’s been replaced by “Stacie” who they say is so much better
For she smiles a lot, shows patience and others now accept her
And so the moral of the tale, I’m ready to unfurl
Whoe’er you are, you will become: a real Chalet School girl!

 

#70:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:54 pm

Macavity the Mystery Cat By TS Eliot
And wonderfully done Rachael!

 

#71:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 1:11 pm

Wonderful all - though I was going to do Innisfree...

 

#72:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 1:51 pm

Recognised macavity, wonderful, that must have been such a difficult one.

Nell, do Innisfree as well, especialy if you have started.

 

#73:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:43 pm

Ok well, I did most of it last night...not sure about some of it...but here you are:

I will arise and go now, and go to the Tiernsee,
A small chalet build there, of wooden palings made,
Nine forms shall I have there, a small school shall we be
And live safe behind the palisade.

And i shall have little peace there, for girls no peace do know,
Rushing from the bells of the morning to where their voices sing
Three mischief is all a'glimmer and work a subtle glow
And the prefects waiting listening.

I will arise and go now, for always every day
I hear small girls talking with soft voices by th shore
Or walking by the lakeside, or on the mountains gay
I hear them in my deep heart's core.

 

#74:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 11:04 pm

Rachael, that was absolutely inspired!

*officially crowns Rachael queen of CS doggerel*

 

#75:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 8:10 am

Just done another catch up on this thread. They are all so good. Can't pick a favourite but will certainly want to re-read the whole thread and savour them some more.

 

#76:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:12 pm

Here's another, I'm enjoying these.

Erm, this one is FCS as it er, well, ran away with me a little!!!
Had to leave one line towars the end untouched as the picture it gave me was so funny...you'll guess which! (I hope).



The Head asked
Miss Dene, and
Miss Dene asked
The Headgirl:
"Could we have some cover for
The staff meeting tonight?"
Miss Dene asked the Headgirl,
The Headgirl
Said, "Certainly,
We'll go and tell the rest
Now
Before they go to prep."

The Headgirl
She curtsied,
And went and told
The Prefects:
"Don't forget we’ll cover for
The Staff meeting tonight."
The Prefects
Said warily:
"You'd better tell
Miss Annersley
That many middles nowadays
Use machine guns when
Fed up."

The Head girl
Said, "Fancy!"
And went to
The secetarty.
She curtsied to Miss Dene, and
She turned a little red:
"Excuse me,
Miss Dene you see,
For taking of
The liberty,
But machine guns are in use,
Their bullets
Thickly
Spread."

Miss Dene said
"Oh!:
And went to
Miss Annersley:
"Talking of the cover for
The staff meeting tonight,
Many middles
Think that
Machine guns
Are prefered.
Would you like to try a little
Uzi gun
Instead?"

The Head said,
"Bother!"
And then she said,
"Oh, deary me!"
The Head muttered, "Oh, deary me!"
And went to her desk.
"Nobody,"
She whispered,
"Could call me
Unreasonable;
I only want
A little bit
Of peace for
My Staff!"

Miss Dene said,
"There, there!"
And went to
The Head Girl.
The Head Girl
Said, "There, there!"
And went to the shed.
The Prefects said,
"There, there!
We didn't really
Mean it;
We’ve locked up all the weapons,
Here’s the key for the Head."

Miss Dene took
The key
And brought it to
Miss Annersley;
The Head said,
"Locked, eh?"
And gave a little laugh.
"Nobody," she said,
As she passed her
Secetary,
"Nobody," she said,
As she slid down the banisters,
"Nobody,
Miss Dene,
Could call me
Unreasonable -
BUT
I do like a little bit of peace for my staff!"

 

#77:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:37 pm

Giggles uncontrollably.

 

#78:  Author: Mora, Location: Lancaster PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 5:31 pm

ROTFL! These are all brilliant but the image of Miss Annersley sliding down the bannisters just kills me!

 

#79:  Author: Vikki, Location: Possibly in hell! It's certainly hot enough....... PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 6:17 pm

*Wipes tears of laughter from eyes!*

 

#80:  Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right! PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:54 pm

Wow
I'm amazed at the talent on this board
fantastic!

 

#81:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 11:29 pm

At the teenage weekends I help run, I usually end up reading bedtime stories & poems to help get everyone to sleep. One of my favourites is that last one - I'm never going to be able to read it again without giggling hysterically
ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

#82:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 5:18 am

Especially enjoying all the Milne variants ROFL

 

#83:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 2:01 am

You are all so talented! I don't know enough poetry to even begin, though I have surprised myself by ho many I recognise.

Well done all.

 

#84:  Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 7:42 pm

Twisted Evil surely with all these gifted doggerel writers about we should get a panto... Twisted Evil

 

#85:  Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 8:10 pm

Good idea!! We could perform it at the Summer G!!!

 

#86:  Author: Guest,  PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 6:32 pm

Warning: Joey Bettany looks to the future
_________________________________________

When I’m an old(er) woman I shall wear lime-green
With emeralds which don’t go, and which don’t suit me,
And I shall spend my royalties on hats and summer houses
And scholarships, and say we’ve no money for school fees.
I shall visit my old school at inappropriate times
And hold slidy mat races at home and play “Sardines”
And wake my husband, with regret, at all hours
And make up for the delicacy of my youth.
I shall send the boys away and keep my girls
And pick up children from other people’s families
And keep them all.

You can insult folk haughtily and grow more “sylph-like”
And eat pounds of Anna’s cream cakes at a go
Or only lemon biscuits for a week
And hoard manuscripts, photos and diaries and things in trunks.

But now I must behave as a Head Girl should
And keep the rules and not talk slang (very often)
And set a good example for the Middles,
And must rescue friends and nearly die in trying.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear lime-green.

 

#87:  Author: PatMac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:05 pm

Whover 'Guest' is, that is a lovely take on my favourite poem! Razz

 

#88:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:38 pm

'Guest' that was fabulous - offers bunch of flowers

 

#89:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:42 pm

Wow, that was great.

Loved it as much if not more than I like the original.

 

#90:  Author: pim, Location: the place where public transport doesn't work properly! PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:43 pm

I love that poem! Thank you Guest, it was fabulous.

 

#91:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:49 pm

Glad the three word minimum has gone coz I've only one word for that - brilliant.

 

#92:  Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:51 pm

That was absolutely fantastic, marvellous, brilliant, wonderful - soooo acute on all Joey's little ridiculosities Laughing Thank you Guest, whoever you are!

 

#93:  Author: Liss, Location: Harrow, London PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 11:35 pm

Oh, that was sublime!

Quote:
And I shall spend my royalties on hats and summer houses
And scholarships, and say we’ve no money for school fees.


Simply divine!!!

 

#94:  Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 11:43 pm

Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed
*returns and puts hand up to confess*
Not a deliberate "guest"ing, or at least not at first - just me forgetting to log in, then chickening out of posting to identify myself! Glad you liked it, though, and thanks for the flowers Smile - someone mentioned that poem when I had this thread in my mind, and for some strange reason Joey immediately popped into my head... Wink

 

#95:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:57 am

Excellent job, Beth!
(I'm going to have a hard time not putting lime-green into the original now Laughing .)

 

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