1) You can only post a maximum of TWO words. One is allowed as a minimum. No limit on what kinds of words they are (nouns, verbs, etc.)

2) You cannot post more than one post consecutively (eg. no running with the story by posting eight times in a row). You have to wait until someone else posts before posting. If you muck up, modify or delete your post.

3) Every post must forward the story. You cannot comment without adding to it. (Come on, people, it's two words! That's not exactly a challenge.)

4) Punctuation does not count as a word, so feel free to end sentences and add exclamations points, smilies and anything else you want.

Everyone understand? Good. Let's go then...

************************************

Jo sat

;D

:P

*sigh*

Bad five minutes with the CBB. Sorry for the double posting.

*coupled with other computer-eccentricities*

Sorry everyone, stupid board insists on double posting! >:( >:(

(it's two words!)

************************

Where do you people come up with these ideas?! :o

***********
What does (FCS) in the story title mean

Caroline *puzzled*

***
Beats the hell out of me, KB... ;D

???

Fun CS?

**********
I have no idea where this is going

..............................

FCS = Fun Chalet School

SCS = Serious Chalet School

I now feel rather ill myself.  Thanks everyone.  :-*

*************************

apologies for the double post. Grrrrr, I hate it when technology goes wrong!   >:(

*******************************************
Why am I surprised that this thread is turning into a calorific dream?

Rach *tempted to buy some Ben and Jerry's tonight*

(following from Ray  ;)  )

:o

;D

(hoping this time it shows up and grovelling if it double posts)
(AHG!)

(i was going to suggest this myself and here it was!)

----------------------------

what are ocelots or am I being dense again?

*****Ocelot; n. leopard-like animal of Central and South America*****

--------------------------
Thanks - you learn something new every day  ;D

***** You're welcome  :D *****

*a hyphenated word still counts as one - honest, guv!!!!*

:o

Matron's delusions

;)

*now he is very good looking...*

********************

BTW, here is the full story thus far, excluding double postings:

Jo sat on Jem's desk, swinging her legs. The long summer holidays had started for Jo yesterday, and she was possibly, maybe very confused. 
"Jem, what can I do to catch men's golf balls?"
Jem glared.
Jo sweetly sang "Brittany" while Jem played the paino. Which was far too weird for/loud for words. She clapped her hands around Jem's legs and pulled, sending him hard. 
He yelled out "What are you doing!"
"Trying to do you!"
"Oh I didn't know if you knew how."
"Of course!""You taught the rumba very well!"
Madge came wandering aimlessly into this passionate scene and screamed, shamelessly falsetto, "Great Ceasar's toasting fork!"
"Madge!" Joey screeched happily and threw up over herself with amazing force! 
Jem blanched but remembered/visably before departing for tea.
The smell of nasturtiums was foul but penetrating(.) Jo sneezed all over herself and the bread(.) Jem ate the bread with boogies and then... licked Madge's icecream cornet while he patient died most gruesomely in the soup bowl(.) 
Then Robin sniggered evilly whilst shooting up with Rix and Peggy who wanted to run away. Madge saw Jack with a shovel and body of Jem's ancient mother who'd died most bizarrely by drowning in custard and cream. 
The body was painted with chocolate and hacked liberally with dribbled over caramel and besearmed with butterscotch sauce. 
Jack's enormous tummy gurgled/appetite for. Then he/women beer toffee and unusual sex(.) His favourite bedtime story involved five sheep and a toaster shaped like a spaceship with lime gofaster strips that made exciting noises(.)
(W)hen the heater exploded Hilda Annersley was covered in soot from head to foot. Bill was also injured from torso to toe, her white hair black with chestnut Ocelots, providing an excellent excuse for prancing like an idiot(.)
Jem Russell decided he really fancied himself. He licked his toes and Jack licked his third nipple and then the auto-censor clucked like a constipated Chalet girl with haemmorrhoids who Matron had took to Innsbruck for circumcision(.)
Matron's delusions of pureness were shattered when Roger/when Hilda knifed Jem in the/in his middle stump(.)
James Anderson

*weeping with laughter*

~*~

Sheesh! I go to bed with this proceeding relatively strangely, get up and find the England cricket team in on the act...

*this is hilarious. Our poor minds!*

~*~

*shaking head and hoping she doesn't giggle too loudly*

~*~

Is anyone else finding that it's not rolling over to new pages properly on this thread or is it just me?

;)   - and yup it's not changing page for me neither!

~*~

Glad it's not just me ;D

I've just read the whole thing, and I'm crying with laughter!!!
I suppose that gien the format ot was impossible that it would make any sense!!! ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::)

(Edit: What do you mean impossible to make sense? Ask anyone who's lost their Sanity Cow and they'll tell you it makes perfect sense! ;) )

(I suppose i've still got my sanity Cow then!!! ;D ;D ;D)

(Waving the Sanity Cow goodbye!!)

~*~

No, haven't lost my marbles; Andy Flintoff really DID go through a period in his life of being called Toffee. I know, I heard more than one member of the Lancs team call him it...!

~*~

Usless piece of Freddy trivia: His fiance is called Rachel.

***** should also point out Freddy is another name for Toffee Flintoff *****

* despite his name not being Fred *

(wondering if this is confusing people who have no knowledge/interest of English cricket yet!)

~*~

Fred Flintoff - as in Fred Flintstone. Other cartoon nicknames in the cricket world: Benny the ball (Martin Ball, Gloucestershire), Boo-Boo (Mark Alleyne, Gloucestershire and England), Yogi (Syd Lawrence [Gloucestershire and England] or Courtney Walsh [Gloucestershire and West Indies], depending on who you talk to!) and Ming the Merciless (Alec Stewart, Surrey and England)

----------------------------
and i know nothing about cricket, English or otherwise  ;D

*Ming the merciless is a new one to me - but I can see that it's apt.  I've got a lot os respect for Alec Stewart.

~*~

It's a little bit *too* apt - having been in his presence as part of the scenery, and more particularly having been a part of the scenery when he HASN'T been present but a bunch of other Surrey players were.

??? Intirgued - but doesn't want to get Ray into trouble with the libel lawyers!

(loving the fact I have no idea where this heading now!)

;)

~*~

Put it this way, Esmeralda, I got the impression that rather than live down to the name, he tended to live up to it. (And I can't say too much more largely because I was overhearing a private conversation [and trying not to - but when you're laying up tables ready for a meal, it's difficult to avoid hearing things].) I  will say that what I did hear didn't surprise me terribly much, based on what's in public domain interviews and based on things that the likes of Mike Atherton HAVEN'T said about him.

(am having problems picturing a guinea pig in boxer shorts ;D)

~*~

Nasser's nickname in at least one edition of Crickter's Who's Who: Bunny!

a cloud

~*~

Well Alec Stewart said it was the best internationally!

ALl right. Two words

~*~

in the

*******************
Sorry, couldn't resist.  Helen, my 3 yr old, had a pink fluffy union for her birthday!

*********************

entwined with
 

****************************

re Ming - see where you're comin gfrom Ray, but still respect him as a player, and yes I'm miles behind but I'm trying to read CBB, watch cricket and pack suitcases simultaneously.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We had a French teacher called Ming the Merciless, because he looked like him! He was quite a nice bloke though. The funny thing is I was talking to somebody who had been at my school after I left and he was still called that!!!

*****keeping it in the "aww cute" vein ;)*****

~*~

Multi-talented Esmeralda!

*****think big now people  ;) *****

*************

Multi-talented Esmeralda!     NOT!

~*~

Oh, OK!

*Cricket and CBB madness = a very happy Ally*

~*~

OK, so he's retired - still cute!

~*~

There's an amusing story involving Mike Atherton and the contents of his fridge, if anyone's interested...?

************************
 

Quote:

There's an amusing story involving Mike Atherton and the contents of his fridge, if anyone's interested...?

[

I am!

~*~

OK. 1990. Athers was off on tour of Australia with England. For reasons that are long, complicated and somewhat losts to the mists of time, Paul Allott landed up borrowing Athers' flat over the winter. Athers didn't KNOW before hand that Allott was borrowing the flat so hadn't cleared up. (Bear in mind what I said about the tour.) So Allott wasn't entirely surprised to discover the place was something of a mess. What he WASN'T expecting was to find food still in the fridge including something that might or might not have once been cheese and something that claimed to have once been sausages...

(Well, we've had cricket, why not introduce a bit of footie?)

going for athletes now ;D

~*~

Fill in the surname/sport of your choice ;)

********
Hope I've spelt Gary's name right

*****follows from either of the previous two postings ;) *****

**********************
(have to give him a mention after that century!)

*Beth, temporarily giving up on trying to combine watching cricket with planning A level work ...*

~*~

Female with pulse. Also female who once walked into a sports book store and asked if she could buy the Graham Thorpe live-size cardboard cut out for someone...

*********************8
(suddenly remembering the CS  ;D)

(We did agree hypenated words count as one didn't we?
*whistles innocently!*)

~*~

Vikki, if this is your idea of anatomicially correct, I am eternally grateful you're a bar manager and NOT a doctor!

You mean YOUR knuckles don't break wind Ray?? :P
*looks bewildered!*

~*~

Oddly enough...no.

Although they do make a glorious cracking noise as I prepare to type...

*sigh*

~*~

*Ray goes for the ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww vote*

~*~

I *KNEW* someone would say that! *Ray departs for bed*

"Jem, what can I do to catch men's golf balls?" 
Jem glared. 
Jo sweetly sang "Brittany" while Jem played the paino. Which was far too weird for/loud for words. She clapped her hands around Jem's legs and pulled, sending him hard. 
He yelled out "What are you doing!" 
"Trying to do you!" 
"Oh I didn't know if you knew how." 
"Of course!""You taught the rumba very well!" 
Madge came wandering aimlessly into this passionate scene and screamed, shamelessly falsetto, "Great Ceasar's toasting fork!" 
"Madge!" Joey screeched happily and threw up over herself with amazing force! 
Jem blanched but remembered/visably before departing for tea. 
The smell of nasturtiums was foul but penetrating(.) Jo sneezed all over herself and the bread(.) Jem ate the bread with boogies and then... licked Madge's icecream cornet while he patient died most gruesomely in the soup bowl(.) 
Then Robin sniggered evilly whilst shooting up with Rix and Peggy who wanted to run away. Madge saw Jack with a shovel and body of Jem's ancient mother who'd died most bizarrely by drowning in custard and cream. 
The body was painted with chocolate and hacked liberally with dribbled over caramel and besearmed with butterscotch sauce. 
Jack's enormous tummy gurgled/appetite for. Then he/women beer toffee and unusual sex(.) His favourite bedtime story involved five sheep and a toaster shaped like a spaceship with lime gofaster strips that made exciting noises(.) 
(W)hen the heater exploded Hilda Annersley was covered in soot from head to foot. Bill was also injured from torso to toe, her white hair black with chestnut Ocelots, providing an excellent excuse for prancing like an idiot(.) 
Jem Russell decided he really fancied himself. He licked his toes and Jack licked his third nipple and then the auto-censor clucked like a constipated Chalet girl with haemmorrhoids who Matron had took to Innsbruck for circumcision(.) 
Matron's delusions of pureness were shattered when Roger/when Hilda knifed Jem in the/in his middle stump(.) 
James Anderson felt he needed attention because he accidentally found fornicating zebras wearing his/unsettlingly exciting. 
"Nasser," he exclaimed. 
Flintoff bared his teeth and did a roly poly down crease dive saving the catch. Then Joey jumped up and down shouting "Who. Dr. Who"
Toffee looked up Joey's skirt and started laughing.
"What is that thing?"
Joey kicked Freddy in his soft, pansy black and lime green hairnet. Freddy screamed like a banshee from Biddy's Irish ancestry. Colin Farrell jumped on then came under the very noisily/a badger flatulated loudly and followed Colin out(.) 
(A) guinea pig appeared in boxer shorts looking puzzled but perky it limped and nibbled on Nasser's/the rabbits became plot and wandered lonely as a cloud, an anti-social storm cloud with "issues" sending cricketers scurrying for burgers and French fries and "Steve's-World-Famous-GCCC-Lasagne" in the Speisesaal. Hilary Wilson and the ponies which Norah was creating suddenly became winged unicorns with glorious fluffy manes entwined with slimy seaweed, writhing pythons, scary spiders, "brazilian" leftovers, exotic dancers and one enormous chocolate THINGY with bells which was dangling in the cold porridge. 
"Spleugh!" 
Freddy, Jimmy, Uncle Tom-Cobbley, and all started singing Christmas Carols for cash off key(.) Plato interrupted, his baton hanging out, quivering violently, music strewn across the room while Nasser, Freddy, Jimmy and Athers were preparing Bratwurst(.) 
(U)nfortunately Athers cut the wrong part with a hacksaw. 
James Beattie, Gary Mabbutt, Roger Black and Gary Linekar, all played twister and drank Cherryade, which made them belch like/vomit copiously over Madge. 
Meanwhile Lucifer was tormenting/made toasted Josephine which he enjoyed doing/ate copiously with Brian who used lots of soap naturally and skinned his knee with cheese and mushy peas with a microwaved potato salad and his thingy in batter!
With strawberry jam and maple leaves and carving knives sticking out of his Yorkshire puddings which were shaped like...his thingy.
Graham Thorpe is a serious hottie and Jo/Graham blushed. staring at Joey's jade frock which patchily dyed years ago after she'd fallen on a mouse trap with the mouse still in it!
Bruno sniffed at Joey's feet and threw up at the sound of/crack of Joey's knuckles breaking wind very smellily albeit anatomically correctly. Our-one-and-only-Mary-Lou joined the carving knife with cobbler's in Jack's sthingyful of cod-liver oil mustard. Robin puked at this combination of carving of her, self-canibalisation not withstanding, she sharpened her harpy-like talons, accidentally breaking on Jem's soft bits of cotton-wool which pad his earmuffs and his snorkelling set/berdine mac which was hanging on the knob of the dowager chest. To his horror his coat was green and covered in confetting and bodily fluids which stank like a hand made/a mess. Joey's sick on the left lapel was particularly foul tasting but surprisingly nutritious! Joey was/Reg came and was extremely smug at what he'd produced using his left nostril and big

So, it's finally up to my bit...

right hand. 

Jo then

~*~

*seconding Xanthe's good grief as best she can for the hysterical laughter* *and hoping her parents don't ask what's so funny...*

~*~
How's that for a hyphenated word?  ;D

~*~

It had to be said

*I was hoping it would be!*

~*~

I live to serve ;)

~*~

Haven't we been here before? ;)

*I'm not sure*

~*~

Ah well - is all good :)

***************** 
this is so fun and slightly confusing

*I do like Miss Annersley really*