"So you want to marry my daughter?"
The CBB -> Starting again at Sarres...

#1: "So you want to marry my daughter?" Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:22 pm


“Oh do hurry up, Harry!” Con Maynard said, practically dragging her boyfriend out of the station. “Papa will be waiting for us.”

“Con, dear, calm down – we’re early in any case,” Harry Forster replied, moving at a pace more fitted to the recently promoted junior partner of a successful law firm. Con sighed.

At twenty-eight she still had a slim girlish figure, and her cropped black hair only added to the youthfulness of her features. She danced around impatiently, drawing many looks from the rather serious Swiss businessman passing through the station at this time of day.

“I’m so excited,” she giggled. “I can’t wait for you to meet Papa – and Mamma too. I know you’ll get along so well.”

Privately Harry hoped that would be the case as he had a rather serious question to ask.

“And you’ll meet lots of my brothers and sisters of course,” Con continued.

“I’m looking forward to it, darling,” Harry said tenderly. “I’ve heard so much about them that I feel like I know them already.”

Con smiled up at him, then twirled around, stepping on his toe as she did so and ran in the direction of the entrance. Harry followed as fast as he could with their bags, limping slightly. He could see Con chattering animatedly to a tall fair man he presumed to be her father. The two came towards him, Con a picture of contrition.

“Did I hurt you, darling?” she asked.

“No, not at all,” Harry said manfully, resisting to howl like a baby.

“Harry – so nice to meet you,” Jack Maynard said, holding out his hand.

Harry shook it. “Nice to meet you, sir,” he said properly.

“Oh we mustn’t stand on formality, call me Jack,” Jack Maynard said. “Now – Minnie’s waiting for us outside. So how about getting a move on?”

Harry picked up some of the bags, Jack took some others and they headed of out to the minibus.

“It’s lovely to see Minnie again,” Con sighed. “I’m surprised she can still manage the mountain road.”

“She can’t really,” Jack said. “We tend to take the highway now, the one the ambulance takes.”

“That’s a shame,” Con said sentimentally. “Still – we shan’t have a dull journey. There must be simply tons of news.”

“Absolutely,” Jack said, climbing in and starting the engine. “Let me see…”

Jack and Con talked continuously all the way to Freudesheim. Harry listened as much as he could but sometimes the scenery was far more interesting.

At last they arrived. Joey Maynard, having heard the car pull into the drive opened the door to welcome them.

“Con, dear,” she cried, embracing her second daughter. “And this young man must be Harry.”

“How do you do, ma’am?” Harry said politely extending his hand.

“Oh nobody calls me ma’am. It makes me sound positively elderly. Do call me Jo,” Jo said. “It’s so wonderful to meet you. Con’s told me all about you. Now come in and meet the family.”

…………………

Later that evening most of the Maynard children were in bed, but Con had gone round to her triplet sister Len’s for a quick chat. Harry sat with Jack and Jo Maynard in the salon.

“I have something to ask,” he said shyly.

Jo put down the sock she was darning and glanced at Jack.

“Go on then, young man,” Jack said.

“Well I think Con’s simply terrific, and we’ve been dating for quite a long time now. And I’d like to marry her if that’s alright with you,” Harry burst out.

“Have you said anything to Con about this?” Jack said seriously.

“No…no, should I have?” Harry asked, alarmed.

“Well it would make things a bit more awkward if you had. Like Steve and Andrea…” Joey said. “But if you haven’t then it won’t make a difference if you fail.”

“If I fail?” Harry said.

“You’ll find out in the morning,” Jack said soothingly. “I would go to bed now if I were you – you’ll want a good night’s sleep.

Harry stood up uncertainly. “This thing I have to pass tomorrow,” he began. “It won’t hurt will it?”

“Don’t be such a spineless jellyfish,” Jo said bracingly. “It’s just a little test. Nothing to be scared of!”

…………………..


Needless to say Harry did not sleep at all well that night. He worried endlessly about the test Con’s parents were going to set him.

When the time came for breakfast he was so pale and heavy eyed that Con was quite concerned.

“We’ll have a nice gentle day today,” she said. “I was going to suggest that we walked to the Auberge and had a picnic, but the weather’s put paid to that.”

“I think your father wants to see me this morning,” Harry said nervously.

Con picked up on the nervous tone of his voice….and completely misinterpreted it.

“Oh don’t worry. You’ll have a lovely time!” she smiled. “Papa’s sure to think up lots of fun things to do.”

“Like tests,” Harry thought.

After breakfast he made his way to Jack’s study and knocked timidly.

“Come in,” Jack said. “Ah Harry. Do sit down. The test paper’s on the desk and I’ll call you for lunch.”

With that, Jack left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. Harry made his way over to the desk uncertainly and regarded the paper with suspicion. He sat down and, taking a pen from his jacket pocket, turned the paper over.

1. 1. What is the full name of Lady Russell’s third daughter? What name is she usually known by? (2)

…………………….

“You must be joking,” Harry said, re-reading the question. Vainly he looked around for any other kind of test paper on Jack’s desk, but none came to light. It seemed there was nothing for it but to try and answer the question.

“Lady Russell…that’s Con’s Auntie Madge of course and she had three daughters, Sybil, Josette and Ailie – so the third one must be Ailie. But that isn’t her full name. Alison? Alexandra?”

Harry looked around for inspiration. “It’s not either of those two. It’s something rather uncommon. I think it’s Irish…..Aileen? No Aline! Aline, that’s it.”

Aline Russell.

“Does she have a middle name?” Harry pondered. “I’ll come back to that one.”

2. Name the five locations of the Chalet School (5)

“What the deuce does the Chalet School have to do with anything?” Harry exclaimed. “Of course it’s where Con went, but still. Right-o. It’s here now, so that’s the Gornetz Platz in the Bernese Oberland. And Con was born in Guernsey, so the school was there for a while. I’m sure Con said she lived in Wales as a kid – Armishire and then on an island off the coast……St something or other.”

Harry sucked on the lid of his pen meditatively. “But it says that there were five places…..and it’s where Con’s parents have a holiday house.”

Harry stared at the photo of a pretty chalet on the wall.

Die Blumen, Austrian Tyrol

“That’s it! The Austrian Tyrol,” he cried. “Now there’s only that beastly island. It had a jolly unusual name too – sounded rather like Rivals. And it had something to do with one her cousins.”

Harry stared out the window, a list of Con’s cousins, of which there were many, running through his head.

“Well it’s most likely to be Bride because Brivals sounds least stupid out of the lot,” he concluded at length.

Tyrol, Guernsey, Armishire, St Brivals, Gornetz Platz

3. How many sets of twins are there in the combined Maynard/Bettany/Russell families? (1)

“I know that one,” Harry said, surprised. “The answer’s six.”

6

4. What is the connection between the Maynard and Peters families? (2)

“Who?” Harry said blankly. “I heard the name Peters in the car yesterday. Frank…he works with Jack, but it can’t be that. And then wasn’t Phoebe Peters something to do with Len’s husband Reg?”

Dr Peters works with Dr Maynard. Mrs Peters knows Dr Entwhistle who married Dr Maynard’s daughter.

“Isn’t Felicity’s best friend Lucy Peters?” Harry wondered. “They’re mad about ballet. No harm in putting it down.

Lucy is friends with Felicity

5. How is Polly Winterton connected to Sybil Russell? (4)

Harry stared at the question in horror.

“Well Sybil is Con’s cousin but that doesn’t help me much!” he sighed. “They must have been at school together or something.”

Then Harry noticed the amount of marks allotted for the question.

“Being at school isn’t worth four marks,” he sighed. “There’s got to be some other connection. Winterton…..Winterton…..OH!”

Harry sat up very straight, and nearly choked on his pen lid. He coughed violently.

“That….was……the……Naval chappie…” he gasped in between coughs, recalling the first time he ever met Con. She’d been staying with her cousin Bride, who was married to a colleague of his – and Harry had been invited over for dinner. Another sister of Bride’s had been visiting, with her family and their surname was Winterton.

“Now Bride’s sister, who’s also Sybil’s cousin, is married to somebody Winterton so I’m guessing that this Polly is his sister,”

Sybil’s cousin is married to Polly’s brother/[b]

“Nice and succinct,” Harry said admiring his handiwork.

6. What is Felicity Maynard’s middle name? (1)

Harry only needed a second to think – the only Maynard daughter to be named after her mother.

[b]Josephine


7. How many abbreviations of Margaret are currently in use in the extended family? (1)

“Well there’s Margot, and Auntie Madge, and Peggy….and I’m sure there’s a Daisy somewhere,” Harry mused. “So that’s four, and they hate Maggie….”

4

“I’m on a roll!” Harry said, surprised. “This isn’t half as bad as I though it would be.”

……………………….

8. How is Ruey Richardson related to Daphne Bettany? (5)

“Daphne? That’s the youngest Bettany girl, I think.”

Harry sighed.

“And Ruey is one of those wards who turned out to be related to someone. It wasn’t Jo’s adopted sister because that was the French girl, and Ruey doesn’t sound exactly French. So it must be the one who was related to the husband of the girl who turned out to be related to Jo’s brother-in-law.”

Harry sighed again, more expressively this time. Eventually he picked up his pen and started writing.

Ruey is related to Daphne’s aunt’s husband’s niece’s husband

“I can’t remember any of their blasted names!” he muttered.

A knock on the door startled him.

“Come in,” he called.

Anna, the Maynard’s Tyrolean maid entered with a tray of coffee and cakes. “Thank you, Anna,” Harry said, pleasantly surprised. She beamed at him and left, closing the door after her.

Harry decided to ignore the test for a while, and helped himself to some delicious coffee and sumptuous cakes. After three cups of coffee he reluctantly reminded himself that the test paper wasn’t going to go away and he really should be getting back to it.

9. How is Primula Venables connected to Marie Claire Maynard? (3)

“Well let’s start with the one I know,” Harry said. “Really this is the oddest test I’ve ever sat in my life. But anyway…Marie-Claire, she’s Jo’s adopted daughter. Now for Primula Venables…….I’m pretty sure she’s one of Sir James’ nieces. Con’s triplet is named after his sister and I’m sure Con said she was Margot Venables.”

Harry silently blessed all the times that Con had chattered about her family and sat back pleased with his handiwork.

Primula is Marie-Claire’s adoptive mother’s brother-in-law’s niece

10. Who is the longest serving mistress at the Chalet School? (1)

“How on earth am I supposed to know that?” Harry groaned. He looked around Jack’s study for such photographic inspiration that he had found with the locations of the School but unsurprisingly found none. Jack’s study was a surprisingly Chalet-free zone. “Oh well, the headmistress is pretty ancient – I’ll put her down.”

The Headmistress

11. What was the name of Josephine M Bettany’s first published book? (1)

“That’s the one she named her daughter after,” Harry said, misconstruing events somewhat. “Cecily does something…..holds something? Cecily holds the fort.”

Cecily holds the fort

12. What is Soeur Marie-Cecile’s connection to the family? What name is she usually known by? (2)

“Ah now that’s the nun the French girl’s related to. The one in a convent in Canada. Con calls her Auntie Robin, but she isn’t really an aunt, she’s sort of adopted.”

Robin, Con’s adopted aunt

13. Who is the original “solid lump of comfort”? (1)

Harry smiled a little at the question before him.

……………………..

Con had often called him a solid lump of comfort.

It’s what Mamma called Papa when the Gestapo were after them she had explained. Harry had felt strangely flattered.

Jack Maynard

14. Why is Miss Wilson’s hair white? (1)

Harry needed no time to think

Because she’s old

15. What was Mrs Bettany’s maiden name? (1)

“I don’t like this test,” Harry whimpered. “I don’t see why I have to know every single detail about this blasted family. I couldn’t care less what Mrs Bettany’s maiden name was, does it MATTER?!”

He threw his pen down, folded his arms and stuck his lower lip out petulantly.

……………

16. What are the colours on the Chalet School tie? (2)

“I don’t see what the blasted school has to do with my wanting to marry Con. It’s like being expected to remember all the names and romantic histories of her workmates who I’ve only met a few times.”

Once again the pictures in Jack’s study came to his aid.

Red and silver

17. Who is Simon Carrington? (2)

“The man who introduced me to Con,” Harry said. “I’d make him pay for that if I didn’t think he was such a decent chap.”

Bride’s husband

18. What is the song that Marya Humphries used to sing to get her daughter to sleep? (2)

“If I knew who Marya Humphries was that would help,” he grumbled.

19. What colour did Jo dye herself the night before Steven was born? (1)

Harry sniggered a little. Having met Jo he could now appreciate this anecdote of Con’s much more.

Green

20. Who wrote a song to mark the birth of the fifth Maynard daughter? What was it called? (3)

“Now that was that awfully good concert pianist that we went to see in London,” Harry mused. “Nina Rutherford, Con said she was an old schoolfriend who wrote a song for her sister. Can’t remember which sister it was but…..ah well the question tells me that anyway. 1,2,3…4…must be Cecily.”

Nina Rutherford, Welcome Cecily

21. Who is Jo Maynard’s unofficial god-daughter? Why? (3)

“Don’t know, don’t care, except I can’t write that.”

A knock on the door startled him. He turned to see Jack Maynard appear.

“Have you finished?” he demanded.

“Not quite,” Harry faltered.

“Well it’s time for Mitagessen – you may join us and finish it this afternoon.” Jack turned and left before Harry could say anything.

Replacing the cap on his pen he went to wash his hands before going to the Speisaal. He slipped into his seat by Con and took her hand under the table.






…………………………

After Grace had been said they tucked into the delicious meal Anna had provided. Harry was unusually quiet, pondering (and worrying) over the questions he had so far been unable to answer. Joey held forth a stream of steady chatter about the doings of various friends and family members to which Harry paid close attention whilst to all intents and purposes concentrating on his soup.

“I had a letter from Corney van Alden today,” she said. “It was about Ronnie Pertwee. You remember the Pertwees, don’t you girls? Well Ronnie’s met a nice young man and they hope to be married soon. Isn’t that nice?”

Those present agreed it was indeed very nice, and inwardly wished that Joey would shut up and let them get on, except for Harry who filed this bit of seemingly useless information away for future reference.

“And speak of letters, I have some sad news,” she continued. “Mrs Avery passed away last week.”

She looked around the table expectantly, regarding the blank faces with horror.

“Don’t you remember my saying a couple of months ago that she was very ill and Auntie Mollie was travelling over to Ireland to be with her?”

The younger children shook their head. The older ones knew better and concentrated harder than ever on their meal.

“Well Mollie’s terribly upset of course,” Joey carried on regardless. “It’s not that long since her father died, and what with all the concern over Daphne lately…”

At this Con discreetly roller her eyes, and Harry made up his mind to ask her about this later.

“Anyway I thought you should all know,” Jo said, somewhat miffed that no-one appeared to care. “Oh Con, some exciting news for you – Jo Scott’s getting married. She’d love you and Len to be there. Obviously Margot won’t be able to go but I thought you’d be pleased that she’d remembered you. I’m invited of course, Maisie insisted on that. After all I am her unofficial godmother! I would have been her proper godmother only Maisie couldn’t get in touch when Jo was born. Such a shame that – she thought an awful lot of me at school.”

From the unexcited reactions of Con and her siblings, Harry inferred that it was quite normal for Joey to discuss the contents of the morning post around the dinner table and thought it best not to ask any questions.
………………………………..

After Mitagessen came the compulsory rest, during which time Harry was closely supervised, and also during which Joey sang the Red Sarafan, ostensibly to send her latest ward to sleep but in reality to show Harry what a wonderful singing voice she still had.

Harry felt the he simply had to say something after that display so he diplomatically decided to comment on the song.

“That’s a beautiful song,” he said. “Russian isn’t it? Where did you learn it?”

“It is indeed Russian,” Joey beamed. “My Robin taught it to me. Her mother used to sing it to get her to sleep, and then she taught it to me. It’s such a favourite with all my children. Do you like it?”

“Oh yes,” Harry said, inwardly wondering what would happen if he said no.

“I’ll teach it to you if you like,” Joey instantly offered.

“Oh no,” Harry demurred. “I couldn’t do it justice.”

……………………

As soon as the rest period was deemed over Harry was sent back to the study to do the best he could with the remaining few questions of the test. His first act was to use the information he had gleaned over lunch to fill in answers to questions he had previously missed out. Thankfully being a lawyer had taught him to sift through an astonishing amount of information so he was able to match up the questions with their answers without too much trouble.

15. Avery

18. The Red Sarafan

21. Jo Scott. She would have been official but her mother couldn’t get in touch with Mrs Maynard when she was born. She wanted her to be godmother because she liked her at school

With a lightened heart Harry proceeded to the next question on the paper, and made the pleasant discovery that he was nearly finished.

22. How did Jo Maynard know Erica Standish’s mother? (1)

“Now Erica Standish is a ward,” Harry began. “By process of elimination she must be the one the Jo met in India, because all the other’s mothers were dead by the time Jo got to them.”

Met her in India

23. Does Miss Annersley wear glasses? (1)

“She most certainly does not!” Harry exclaimed. “Isn’t she famed for it?”

With a firm hand he wrote his answer. No

24. Name the two illnesses which led to Phillipa Maynard’s frailty (2)

“Now I might not be a doctor,” Harry mused, “but I do remember this. It was definitely Polio, and there was something before that. Some trouble with her glands…no no…mastoid trouble!”

Mastoid trouble and polio

Harry sighed as he turned to the last question, thankful that the ordeal was nearly over. He stared in amazement.

25. Who caused Mary-Lou’s accident, and how? (2)


“Mary-Lou? Mary-Lou?! What’s she got to do with this?” Harry cried. “Ghastly woman. She regaled me with the whole tale once, and it bored me to tears. And then Con got all upset and said it wasn’t Margot’s fault at all…”

Emerence Hope. Something to do with a toboggan.

He set to work to check the paper.

…………………………….

At long last Harry exited the study, a completed answer paper in his hand. He sought out Jack Maynard who was reading in the salon.

“I’ve done it, Sir,” Harry said, trying to keep his trembling voice under control. “I hope it’s good enough.”

“We’ll have to see about that,” Jack said. “We’ll let you know the results later on today.”

Harry swallowed nervously and left the room.

“Oh Harry!” Jo trilled, coming down the hallway. “Now that the first part of the test is over, if you’ll just come with me…”

Harry started nervously.

“I thought that was it, Jack didn’t say anything about another part to the test,” he protested.

“Oh don’t be shy. Come on – I’m afraid there aren’t any lilyponds nearby, and the Lucerne was a bit far but the Thun will do just as well.”

“Where are we going?” asked a stunned Harry as Joey hassled him out the door.

“Down to the lake. Don’t worry – this shouldn’t take long.”

“But what are we going to do?” Harry asked persistently.

“You’ll see when you get there!” Joey retorted. “Or at least I hope you will. Con you have packed towels and brandy, haven’t you dear?”

“Yes, Mamma,” Con asked, more than a little concerned as Joey hadn’t said anything about a trip down to the Thun today. “Although the water’s a little cold for swimming, don’t you think?”

“Oh don’t worry, dear,” Joey reassured her anxious daughter. “You won’t be going in.”

Con decided that remaining silent was probably the best option. Her mother could be extremely aggravating when she chose, and it appeared that this was one of those occasions.

“Now, Cecily, be a good girl and ask Phil and Hilary to meet us down there with Majorie. It’s such a shame Biddy and Eugen couldn’t be here too…” Joey said.

Cecily set off, carrying a white envelope in her hand with strict instructions to deliver that envelope to the Graves’s and allow no-one else to even take a peek inside. Like all the Maynard children she was trained to instant obedience and didn’t think to question this order of her mother.

…………………

When they reached the Thun Jo practically dragged Harry from the car.

“We’ll go for a walk,” she announced. “Con make sure you bring the hamper won’t you dear?”

And with that she set off with Harry in tow, leaving a bemused Con to unload the hamper, lock the car and scurry after them.

“You can swim, can’t you Harry?” Joey asked, suddenly concerned.

“Oh yes,” Harry replied. “I was in the rowing eight.”

“I’m so glad,” Jo said warmly, acting in a most peculiar fashion. If Harry hadn’t known any better he would have said that she was trying to signal somebody, possibly a pleasant looking middle aged couple who were walking towards them with their teenaged daughter.

“I thought you told Con we weren’t going swimming though,” Harry said, recalling Joey’s earlier conversation with Con.

“Oh Con isn’t,” was the instant reply.

“I see,” Harry said, more than a little bemused but not really wanting any further explanations. They wandered on for a short while, gradually drawing closer and closer to the couple with the teenaged girl. Harry turned back to look for Con when he heard and scream.

















And a splash.

……………………………..

He looked back quickly.

“What…” he began, before noticing that the teenaged girl appeared to have fallen in the water.

“HELP!” she screamed. “Someone do something.”

Harry only hesitated to remove his shoes and jacket before jumping into the water with almost as large a splash as the unfortunate damsel had made.

“Don’t worry,” he said, gasping a little for the water was rather chilly. “I’ve got you. Ummmm…not sure what I do with now but I’ve got you. Can you swim?”

He then noticed to his dismay that the girl appeared to be unconscious. Holding her afloat with one arm he made for a ladder which he espied in the distance. Joey, Con and the middle aged couple were all grouped above it, almost as though they expected him to head for it.

Having reached the ladder Harry then found himself with the problem of heaving the unconscious girl, who was, despite her slenderness, reasonably well built. He decided to solve this problem by putting her in what was supposed to be a fireman’s lift, but really ended up with the unfortunate girl being slung across his shoulder. With one arm keeping her in place he began to climb the ladder.

……………………..

Above him a rather strange conversation was taking place.

“That’s not the way I did it,” the middle aged man was saying.

“Well you didn’t have a ladder,” the middle aged woman said snippily. “If Eugen was here he’d be able to give us a more expert opinion.”

“I suppose you’ll be wanting those towels and brandy now, Mamma.”

“Not quite yet, we have to wait and see whether he recognises the need. And of course whether she’s breathing.”

“Joey! I’m not lending you my daughters for any more mad stunts.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, and Phil’s a doctor.”

“Shame that young man isn’t, although he isn’t doing a bad job.”

……………..

Eventually Harry hoisted himself and his burden up the ladder and onto the path. He stared anxiously at the girl, unsure quite what to do next. The girl lay there: still, grey and to all appearances dead.

The other crowded round eager to see what he would do next.

“Stand back,” Harry ordered authoritatively. “Give her some space.”

Obediently they shuffled back a few paces.

He turned the girl over and patted her back. She coughed weakly.

“Brandy. Quickly!” he ordered.

Almost before the words were out of his mouth a small bottle was pressed into his hand. He took a quick slug himself, making a face at the taste, before wetting the girls lips. Her eyes flew open.

“MOTHER!” she shouted. “You promised no brandy!”

The middle aged man quickly took a hand in the proceedings.

“Well we’d best be rushing her back to the nearest hotel, Jo! Lovely to meet you Harry. See you for dinner on Thursday,” he said, while his wife hauled their daughter to her feet and made her set off for the hotel at a run.

“I’ll send Anna round with some cream cakes later,” Joey called after the vanishing trio.

She turned back to her daughter who was wrapping a towel around Harry and apologising profusely.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” she said tenderly. “I didn’t know Mamma planned this on purpose.”

“Well now that’s over, how about we go back to the Platz for tea?” Jo said brightly.

“Mamma! Harry’s dripping wet! He needs to change,” Con said firmly.

“Oh yes, I suppose he does,” Jo replied vaguely. “You don’t have a weak chest, do you Harry?”

“N-n-no,” Harry managed, his teeth chattering.
………………….

Later, when Harry was home, had had a hot bath and Con, having rushed over to the Chalet, had rubbed some of Matron’s patent embrocation onto his chest to “stop him getting a cold”, they settled in the salon to await afternoon tea.

Jo was sat in an armchair, surrounded by photograph albums and a glint in her eye. Con regarded her mother warily but was unable to do anything about it as at that moment Anna came in with the tea.

“Do try one of these sandwiches, Harry,” Jo said sweetly.

Harry obediently piled is plate high, before returning to his seat. Jo watched him eagerly as he took a bite.

Harry chewed resolutely and swallowed before remarking. “Most unusual combination of flavours…..what are they exactly?”

………………….

“Well that one is sardine and banana,” Joey remarked. “And as for the others garlic and beetroot, cream cheese and marmalade and ham spread with curry.”

“Oh lovely,” Harry said, selecting a curried ham sandwich. He took a large bite and promptly turned bright red. Reaching for his glass in a very controlled manner he took a hasty sip of lemonade.

“Would you like some bread and butter?” Joey offered sweetly while Con glared at her mother.

“That would be lovely,” Harry gasped, taking a piece from the proffered plate, relieved that there was some normal food on the trolley after all.

“When you’ve eaten your sandwiches help yourself to cakes. I do despise waste,” Jo remarked conversationally. “Now here I have some of the photo albums from when the school was in Tyrol. This is one of the most famous of all the school legends….”

Harry ate his sandwiches as quickly as he dared, moving onto cakes and biscuits. Con gently directed him towards the least harmful concotions, most of which involved an awful lot of whipped cream. Harry with a remembrance of feeling rather sick after eating too many cream cakes for tea at school sensibly chose Anna’s delicious lemon biscuits.

“Now this one was a mystery,” Joey reminisced. “We couldn’t work out where Katherine had come from. There was a Mary Katherine on the list, so we assumed that Miss Dene had made a typing error, but then two trunks arrived. One for Katherine Mary and one for Mary Katherine. Of course I soon sorted it out….”

Harry’s eyes glazed over.

“And then she said ‘Daniel bit the lions’, didn’t you, Con, dear?” Jo asked.

Harry forced an amused laugh for the thirty-seventh time that afternoon.

Just as Joey finished the tale of how she had single-handedly made Theodora Grantley into a proper Chalet Girl by renaming her “Ted” Jack entered the salon with a sheaf of papers in his hand.

“Do you have the marks already, Jack?” Jo asked delightedly.

Jack nodded by way of reply and settled himself comfortably into a chair before fixing Harry with a stare. “I suppose you want to know how you’ve scored?” he asked.

“Um, yes, sir,” Harry said, somewhat perplexed. He still didn’t really understand this whole test process.

“Well,” Jack said ponderously. “You did fairly well on the written test. A few errors, not serious ones, but you forgot that Miss Denny was in fact the longest serving member of staff at the Chalet, and Ailie’s middle name is Elizabeth. For your future reference Miss Wilson’s hair is not white ‘because she is old’, it is white because it turned that way when she was escaping from the Nazis in Spartz, and although you got the gist of Mary-Lou’s accident you didn’t quite get the precise details so I could only award you half marks for that question. As for the practical test, the lake rescue was very efficient. You did lose marks for style by drinking some of the medicinal brandy but Phil felt under the circumstances that was understandable. Do you have anything to add Jo?”

“His endurance is exceptional,” Jo said, “and I haven’t seen any sign of a bilious attack yet, even though I made all the sandwiches myself.”

“Overall young man, you’ve acquitted yourself remarkably well but not quite well enough to marry Con. You may, however, marry Felicity if you should wish to.”

Harry exploded.

“Now look here, I’ve put up with quite enough. Con’s an adult and if she’ll have me we’ll be married before the years out. And you’ll be footing the bill.” Harry turned to Con. “Mary Constance Maynard, will you marry me?”

“Oh Harry!” Con gasped. “You didn’t have to do all that for me. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t entirely sure what he would have done if Con had refused.

“Oh BRAVO” Joey said, misty eyed. “Now we need to start thinking about the wedding!”

…………….

“I see you survived the ghastly tests then,” Stephen Maynard said the newest member of the extended family.

“They were pretty awful,” Harry agreed, shuddering at the memory of those sandwiches.

“Be thankful you weren’t a girl,” Steve said darkly.

“Why?” Harry enquired.

“You should have seen the tests they made my wife Andrea take. Just because she wasn’t Chalet Girl. Ghastly simply wasn’t in it,” Steve said. “Anyway, best of luck! You’ll be out of Mother’s clutches in London, so that’s something to be thankful for.”

“Hey I married Con, not your mother,” Harry replied.

“Mother likes to be involved in our lives,” Steve said. “You should know that by now.”

With a little reflection Harry concluded that he did indeed know that.

 


#2:  Author: Cath V-PLocation: Newcastle NSW PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:49 pm


Poor Harry...out of the frying pan into the fire perhaps?

Thanks for posting this Frances!

 


#3:  Author: Identity HuntLocation: UK PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 6:39 am


Frances, thank you !
This is absolutely priceless.....
Very Happy

 


#4:  Author: Alison HLocation: Manchester PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 6:50 am


Thanks Fran. Hope Harry and Con have the sense - sure they will - to live somewhere a very long way from Freudesheim!

 


#5:  Author: RosyLocation: Gloucestershire-London-Aberystwyth PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:14 am


Fantastic, and poor Felicity. I bet she'd love to know that she's considered a lesser daughter. Charming. Cheers Fran

 


#6:  Author: SquirrelLocation: St-Andrews or Dunfermline PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:18 am


t'was interesting catching up on the ending! Thanks Fran.

 


#7:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:40 am


Good for Harry - though I admire his patience - most men would have exploded long before. Poor Felicity too, wonder what she feels about being considered second best? Laughing

Thanks Fran.

 


#8:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:58 am


Laughing Laughing Laughing

Well done Harry - I hope he and Con are very happy

Thanks Fran

I don't suppose the bunnies can be persuaded to tell us about Andrea's tests can they? *smiles sweetly*

 


#9:  Author: MaryRLocation: Cheshire PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:10 am


*Hey, I married Con, not your mother* Laughing

I wonder how many men and women have lived to rue those words, especially with a mother-in-law like Jo!

Thanks for the ending, Fran.

 


#10:  Author: AliceLocation: London, England PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:20 am


Thanks Fran,

I'm very curious about what Andrea had to go through.

 


#11:  Author: alicatLocation: Wiltshire PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:03 pm


oh, I imagine Andrea had to pass bedmaking, hanging clothes, making appelstrudel properly, playing parlour games no-one else had ever heard of, comforting the unhappy, poking one's nose into other people's problems, thwarting kidnap attempts by fiendish madmen, successfully fleeing from nazis, oh and have her wardrobe closely scrutinised for tasteful lime greem garments!!!!

 


#12:  Author: JosieGLocation: Yorkshire Dales PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:20 pm


hehe, loved it Fran! I'm just very glad I'm not going to have to take any of that sort of test!

 


#13:  Author: LLLocation: madpanicaaaarghmove, London PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:42 pm


Thanks Fran! Cool

 


#14:  Author: aitchemelleLocation: West Sussex PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:02 pm


Ooooh Fran I would *love* to hear about Andrea's challenges
*strokes bunny lovingly*

 


#15:  Author: KateLocation: Ireland PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:20 pm


Oh thank you Fran! Very Happy Loved this story! Is there going to be any more? A sequel, maybe?

 


#16:  Author: kerenLocation: Israel PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:48 am


Wondeful drabble.
Must know about tet for girl's

 


#17:  Author: AllyLocation: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:43 am


Frabjous Fran, thank you Very Happy

 


#18:  Author: leahbelleLocation: Coventry PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:57 am


Loved this drabble. It had me in stitches! Poor Harry.

 


#19:  Author: MaryLocation: Sussex University PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:19 pm


It is possible that I am in love with Harry. If you know him, send him to Essex. Ahh Harry. Imagine- a man who actually know what you're talking about when you mention all things CS. Though to be fair, my Dad and brother both have some semblance of understanding. Or it might just be that they smile and nod...

 


#20:  Author: ChairLocation: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:43 pm


Thanks, Fran. I'm glad that he still wanted to marry Con by the end of all the tests! Would it be possible to see Andrea's test, please?

 


#21:  Author: FatimaLocation: Sunny Qatar PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:57 pm


That was great, thanks, Frances. I'm so glad Harry decided he'd marry Con anyhow!

 


#22:  Author: Chalet_school_loverLocation: Gloucester PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:41 pm


That was great, I'm glad Harry and Con are together at long last! Laughing It would indeed be very interesting to see Andrea's test *Looks hopeful and offers bunny treats* Very Happy Thanks Fran!

 


#23:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:53 pm


A sequel is in progress!!

 


#24:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:47 am


francesn wrote:
A sequel is in progress!!


Mexican Wave Mexican Wave Mexican Wave

 


#25:  Author: RosyLocation: Gloucestershire-London-Aberystwyth PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:16 am


Hurrah! Looking forward to that Fran!

 


#26:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:29 pm


Hurray for the sequel. Did Andrea have to beat the rest of the Maynards in slidey-mat races?

 


#27:  Author: claireLocation: South Wales PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 1:25 pm


This was great - Andrea's test should be fun

 


#28:  Author: RóisínLocation: Gaillimh, Eire PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 3:43 pm


Brilliant! *ROFL* Just read all the way through it Laughing Especially at the bit where Harry's eyes glazed over Very Happy

 


#29:  Author: TiffanyLocation: madthesispanicargh PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:03 pm


Oh Fran, fantastic! I was worried this had been eaten by the hackmonster(stabitwithafork). Poor Felicity! Am looking forward to the sequel...

 


#30:  Author: Le Petite EmLocation: Cheltenham PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 6:52 pm


A sequel!!! A sequel!!! Yay thanks Fran!! I'm so glad that he got to marry Con, even if Jack didn't officially let him!! Very Happy

 




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