The CBB
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/

Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=5972

Author:  Xanthe [ 23 Apr 2009, 02:31 ]
Post subject:  Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Having randomly read through some random old drabbles of mine (on an unsuccessful hunt for one I think I must accept is lost somewhere in the ether) I realised I had never managed to complete my drabble trilogy based around the "Dance as though nobody's watching" quotation. So I thought I'd have a go at doing so. It is a bit pants, but am not sure I'd manage anything better any time, er, ever. The other two bits are lurking in the archives, should you wish to read them. This time it's Robin's turn...

I shall be a good girl and say my prayers. There’s the niggling doubt that my prayers did not stop mummy from going away, but surely that just means I didn’t pray hard enough? Rosary beads slide through my fingers, the smell of rosewood comforting; the metallic edge of silver in the air enough to keep my mind focused on devotion.

When I first came here I thought heaven must be just like this. It’s so achingly beautiful. Summers where the blue of the lake and the blue of the sky mirror each other and the mountains bask in the sunlight. Bright green grass and deep green trees. Wildflowers and butterflies. And I feel safe, quite safe, with Tante Marguerite and with my Jo. It’s that feeling of security that is so heavenly.

How did my heaven come to be my hell? Oh! The fury of the mob - like demons pursuing us with dreadful torments in store. The mountains I love so well becoming a place of peril, their beauty overcast. Exhaustion & pain & hunger replace my previous life: I’ve been cast out of paradise, exiled. From the depths I cry unto thee, O Lord – and for the first time, I fear perhaps you do not hear me.

The surge of hate and anger pushes on. My heaven is polluted now, perhaps forever. I hold it in my heart still, though, in its utopian form, a talisman against the nightmares. I talk to God, I pray. When Jack is returned I know for certain God listens to prayers and He answers them. I stay firm in that belief even after the war ends, even after we hear of all the terrible things that happened.

I find an earthly paradise in being wed to Christ: a perfect love. I seek to bring that peace to others, to spread the feeling of a heaven upon earth like ripples on a pond – or on a lake. I still think, often, of the Tiernsee. I doubt I shall ever see it again in this life – but I know it is there, I remember it and smile. Like others of my faith, I work to prepare this world for God’s Kingdom & true heaven upon the Earth. Heaven becomes and intangible yet absolute to me; each time I attend a requiem mass I reflect on being rescued from the mouth of the lion as a teenager and the life I was granted, the life I lead now.

Perhaps we are all granted our little moments of heaven upon Earth in this life. Beauty, truth, wisdom, love. Only fractions of what is waiting. But I seek to live as joyfully as though I were in that heaven. I allow myself to think of reunion with those I love who have gone before me – a growing list as I shrink in stature, bones reminding me of my great age. My fingers fumble their way round the rosary now, the smell of rosewood is fainter, the metallic tang of silver still sharp from many polishings. My hands are still small, but now they are knotted with age, stiffness having overtaken nimbleness some time ago.

I am with Soeur Marie-Cecile at the last. For all the horrors she saw, the suffering she endured, she was a woman of great peace. And the look in her eyes as the last sparks of life faded told me she died as she lived: with heaven in sight and even, almost, as though it surrounded her.

Author:  Liz K [ 23 Apr 2009, 05:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

:cry: :cry:

Thank you Xanthe.

Author:  Emma A [ 23 Apr 2009, 08:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

That was a lovely meditation on Robin's life, Xanthe. Thank-you.

Author:  JellySheep [ 23 Apr 2009, 09:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Pants? Certainly not! This is very moving.

Author:  Sarah_G-G [ 23 Apr 2009, 11:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

That was beautifully written, thank you.

Author:  PaulineS [ 23 Apr 2009, 11:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Thank you I have tears in my eyes it was so moving.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ 24 Apr 2009, 01:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Thank you. That was so beautiful

Author:  linda [ 25 Apr 2009, 02:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Beautiful, and very moving.

Thank you Xanthe

Author:  Lesley [ 25 Apr 2009, 09:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

That was lovely. :cry:


Thanks Xanthe

Author:  MaryR [ 29 Apr 2009, 15:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Quote:
Perhaps we are all granted our little moments of heaven upon Earth in this life.

Indeed! Else how survive?

Thank you, Xanthe - infinitely moving.

Author:  Cath V-P [ 04 May 2009, 01:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Thank you Xanthe; this is very moving, and gives such a clear idea of the strength and the power of Robin's faith.

Author:  Lisa_T [ 09 May 2009, 13:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

Oh Xanthe, I do like this. It is very moving, and yet so economically done.

Author:  Vikki [ 23 Jun 2009, 18:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: Live As Though Heaven Is On Earth

That was absolutely beautiful Xanthe!
Thank you hunny.

All times are UTC [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/