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New Dreams (Part 15) 5/08/08 Completed!
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4060
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  New Dreams (Part 15) 5/08/08 Completed!
I'm sorry I had to break off to start a new part when we are so nearly at the end of this long, long day. The concert is over and Hilda has left Mireille and Gillian talking to Tessa's mother. Ellie is in bed and Matey roaming the corridors.... :lol:

Hilda sat in Rosalie’s chair, swinging back and forth gently, and frowned at the howling and screaming of the wind outside. Windows were rattling, walls and floors were creaking and groaning around her. Would any of them get any sleep tonight? Half of her wanted to rush off and see Ellie, to make sure she was asleep and not frightened or in too much pain. But the other half knew the two prefects needed her more at the moment.

She was praying silently for Tessa and staring absently at the door when it opened abruptly and Matey’s head poked in.

“There you are!” she said sharply. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

Hilda held a finger to her lips and beckoned Matey forward. She explained softly, and Matey stared at the connecting door, then looked back at Hilda. “Was that wise?”

“I thought you didn’t want them to grow up as spineless jellyfish!” murmured Hilda with a brief smile. “Make up your mind which it is, Gwynneth, because you can’t have it both ways. Yes, it was wise. They would never have forgiven me if I’d waited any longer before telling them, just as I would never have forgiven you if you had tried to hide Nell’s death until you thought I was ready. They care so much for Tessa – but they're also very sensible girls. Sometimes, one has to trust one’s instincts, Gwynneth,” she mused slowly, her eyes distant and sad.

“Oh, I’d trust your instincts at any time, in any place,” exclaimed Matey, searching Hilda’s white shadowed face and adding, “except where you, yourself, are concerned. I’ll be back!” she warned, wagging her finger.

Hilda nodded. “Give me a little breathing space, Gwynneth. Mrs Lewis wishes to speak to me after the girls are done. She sounded distraught, as well she might.”

Guessing instinctively that Tessa’s mother was seeking just the kind of comfort that Hilda was so good at dispensing, Matey said no more but departed to make sure all was well upstairs in this storm. Hilda smiled as the door closed. Bossy and high-handed she might be, but Gwynneth had the kindest heart in the world under that crusty exterior, and had been manna from Heaven for her since Nell died.

What was her surprise a few minutes later, however, when the door again swung inwards and another of her blessings peeped round it.

“I thought I saw a light in here,” announced Vivien Knowles, in surprise. “Why hasn’t Matey hog-tied you and marched you off to bed? You look shattered!”

“Ah, Vivien,” breathed Hilda, adding drily, “Such picturesque language!” Once more she explained herself. Vivien remained silent, but thought yet again how unique her headmistress was in her sensitivity to others. Most Headmistresses would have bundled the girls off to bed in short order and told them only the barest outline of Tessa’s problems in the morning.

Hilda took up her gentle swaying of the chair once more and surveyed Vivien’s face. “Tell me, Miss Knowles, if you will, how big a finger you had in tonight’s pie? Apart from the bellows, that is!”

Vivien winked. “Ask me nae questions and I’ll telt ye nae lies, ma bonnie wee chieftan.”

Hilda gave a strangled yelp and then found herself coughing wildly. Vivien ran round and banged her on the back. “I thought your mother was French, ma bonnie wee scoundrel,” Hilda choked out.

“Aye, she was. But me da was Scottish. The auld alliance, ye ken – and braw protection for each other against ye heathen Sassenachs.”

A soft peal of musical laughter echoed gently round the room. “Oh, Vivien, you’ll never know how much I needed that. No matter how I feel, you always raise me up. ‘Tis a rare talent you have, my friend.”

Vivien smiled down at Hilda. “No more than you, my dear. Look at what you’re doing for those poor girls in there. As to the concert – I had some input, but I’ll plead the Fifth on exactly what I did. The bellows trick was something I watched my father do once. People’s imaginations will fool them every time. They really believed in those spiders climbing their legs, didn’t they? I wasn’t sure if it would work.”

“Oh, they did! They did! You and Ruth Derwent put the finishing touch to a superb evening.” Hilda chuckled to herself and then, her keen eyes on Vivien, she sobered, and added musingly, “You know, Vivien, you’re doing for Ruth what Nell always did for me – bringing some much needed colour and fun into her rather serious life.”

Vivien stared at her in surprise, and Hilda nodded, her eyes soft. “Ruth will never be the same again. She will discover things in herself that needed your touch to bring to the surface. Just as I suspect several of the performers tonight did, once you were let loose on them. Did you help arrange that dance? I know I mentioned the spiders to you this afternoon.”

Vivien shook her head, wondering if she were dreaming or if she really had been compared to Nell Wilson just now. “No, that was all Carmela. I think she felt sorry for them. She’s growing and changing….”

“She is indeed,” replied Hilda consideringly. “They all are, in their different ways. It seems a terrible thing to say, but Tessa’s accident has been good for them, poor girl. They’re discovering more strength than they thought they had, and Mireille’s gentle ways are proving very effective and persuasive.” She smiled sadly, almost bitterly. “It’s as Mother Abbess says. God always brings something, somehow, out of the ruins. I wonder, though, what He will bring out of all this pain and sorrow for Tessa herself and for her family….” Her voice trailed off, her eyes distant and troubled.

“Hilda, go to bed,” said Vivien, her voice quiet but firm. “You’re exhausted.” She knew it was the exhaustion talking – that Hilda might well regret such openness come the morning.

The troubled eyes sought hers. “As soon as I’ve talked to Tessa’s mother - she sounded rather desperate and I can’t just go to bed and leave her. I know how it helps to talk, even if I couldn’t do it myself, before I lost Nell.” She shrugged. “Now? My dear Mother Abbess gave me no choice – showed me that even I could benefit from its healing powers, if I would only let go.”

Vivien touched her shoulder gently, but remained quiet. What could she possibly say that would persuade this generous woman that she couldn’t pour herself out for everyone in this way without paying a hefty price?

Hilda spoke again. “Good night, my dear, and God bless you – for everything.” Vivien smiled down at her and turned to the door. A soft, amused voice followed her. “Oh, by the way, I’ve warned Nell to stop setting you a bad example, and to cease giving you hints and tips about how to follow in her footsteps.”

Vivien stopped at the door and looked round in awe at Hilda. Did this truly spiritual woman really converse with her dead? Nothing would surprise Vivien where her Headmistress was concerned. She was once more being offered an insight into a very private woman’s inner core. Hilda had been telling the truth in the convent corridor that night, when she called her friend! How else to explain this transparency?

Vivien took a deep breath, willing her voice not to tremble. “You’re a spoilsport, Hilda Annersley! Next time you speak with her, tell her you take it all back.” Hilda’s eyebrows rose into her hair. “From all I hear tell of her, following in Nell Wilson’s footsteps would be a very great honour. Good night, Hilda, and may God’s angels and your friend Nell guard and protect you this night. Sleep well, ma bonnie wee chieftan!”

She closed the door on Hilda’s gentle smile and wished heartily that she had someone to ease her inner loneliness, in the same way that Nell Wilson had eased Hilda’s. Even if the inevitable result was anguish such as Hilda had been suffering since her friend’s death.

You have Ruth now, my dear, and Ellie – and you have my Hilda, whose affection for you will grow. How much she trusts you already. Please, always be there to offer her your love, for she has many obstacles still to face before her time on earth is done…. Oh, and by the way, my friend, you have me as well. Think you can cope?
Author:  Squirrel [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
*laughs* Those last words from Nell were wonderful! And giving Vivien a gift she apparently thought she would never have. How touched she must be to know all of the people she has to add to her life, to keep her loneliness at bay, and to help her to grow and develop. And what a feeling to keep burried behind all of her exuberance and love of life.

But that was just the end of the peice. How brilliant for Hilda to know that both Gwynneth and Vivien cared enough to come in to talk to her once they realised that she was still up - and that they both respected her enough that when she said she couldn't go to bed, they left her to it - though we all know exactly how mcuh she needs it.

And she is to stay up to talk to Tessa's mother... At one point I wondered if Vivien was going to suggest that she do it - but I guess she is not yet at that place when she can offer the Hilda Annersley kind of comfort.

Thank you Mary - there is so much more I could comment on - that was absolutely wonderful. So thank you for indulging us so quickly.
Author:  Caroline OSullivan [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary :D
Wow! what has Vivien let herself in for :shock:
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmmm, will Vivien check herself into the nearest mental institution? Hearing voices of the dead, after all! :lol:


Lovely Mary - pleased that Hilda was able to persuade both Matey and Vivien that she needed to stay up for a little longer.

Thank you.
Author:  Elbee [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
I like Vivien very much! Thanks, Mary.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good for Nell! :D
And good for Vivien, too. :lol:
Of course Hilda can't go to bed until she has discharged her loving duty to Tessa's mother - but it's a punishing schedule she's had. Hope she can get a good night's sleep after all this.
Thank you so much Mary - glad you are feeling able to carry on with this.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was conceivably the biggest compliment Vivien has had or ever will have, for that matter. Having Hilda reassure her yet again just how much she has helped her to carry on since Nell's death was compliment enough in itself, but to have Nell herself reinforce Vivien's new friendships with Ruth and Ellie, as well as with Hilda, was an unexpected twist, giving Vivien further proof, if such was needed, of the place she now holds in Hilda's heart.

Thank goodness that while both Vivien and Gwynneth cared enough to check on Hilda, they also realised the futility of trying to force her to go to bed before she has reassured Mireille and Gillian once more, or had that conversation with Tessa's mother - yet another instance where her instinctive knowledge of another's needs far outweighs her own needs.

It's good to see more of this. Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Fi [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was lovely, how like Nell to be so direct in her attempt to provide comfort to those who are supporting Hilda through all this. I just hope Vivien has a very high opinion of her own sanity :D

Thank You Mary
Author:  linda [ Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
Quote:
You have Ruth now, my dear, and Ellie – and you have my Hilda, whose affection for you will grow. How much she trusts you already. Please, always be there to offer her your love, for she has many obstacles still to face before her time on earth is done…. Oh, and by the way, my friend, you have me as well. Think you can cope?


That was beautiful Mary, Nell speaking directly to Vivien. This might help to ease her inner loneliness. But she is fast becoming such a good friend to Hilda. She sees a need and acts on it. Perhaps in the future, she and Ruth can share a deeper friendship which will be good for them both.

I hope Hilda doesn't have to wait too long to speak to Tessa's mum. It is really time she went to bed if she doesn't want to be exhausted in the morning.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
this was wonderful - thank you !
I love all of Hilda's interactions with Vivien :lol:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh Vivien, be careful what you wish for! Whatever else you might have expected, it wouldn't have been Nell's voice! But how lovely for her to have that accolade and recognition that she has become one of the people whose love sustains and comforts Hilda. Vivien's life has altered so much since she joined the school - not only does her job fulfill her professionally, (and her relationship with the girls can be so clearly seen in her contribution to the concert) but she has the friendship with Ruth, Ellie, MA and Hilda - and now Nell, whose voice she never heard, but which she instantly recognises.

And that moment of awe and surprise -
Quote:
Did this truly spiritual woman really converse with her dead?
Yes, well I suppose when you stop to consider it, it isn't exactly usual - but then why not? After all, Nell is there, just as much a part of Hilda's life as she has always been. so why not talk to her?

That conversation was so interesting especially the acknowledgement that some benefit has come from Tessa's accident. to say nothing of Hilda's comment that Vivien is bringing 'colour and fun' into Ruth's life. And Vivien's relaxed address to Hilda as "ma bonnie see chieftain" was just delightful - no wonder Hilda choked!

Thank you Mary - this was lovely.
Author:  Travellers Joy [ Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can see a whole new saga presenting itself when Hilda's reaches an end! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanl you Mary, a glorious mix of pathous and humour. I hope Matey is going to turm off the rising bell in the morning so they can all sleep in.

Gwynneth is so caring and so much a friend to Hilda and to others that Hilda thoughts about her are are so true.

Quote:
Bossy and high-handed she might be, but Gwynneth had the kindest heart in the world under that crusty exterior, and had been manna from Heaven for her since Nell died.


The end had me laughing at Nell's response to Vivien's longing.

Quote:
You have Ruth now, my dear, and Ellie – and you have my Hilda, whose affection for you will grow. How much she trusts you already. Please, always be there to offer her your love, for she has many obstacles still to face before her time on earth is done…. Oh, and by the way, my friend, you have me as well. Think you can cope?




Vivien are you able to cope? Nell would not have asked it if she thought Vivien would not be able to.
Author:  leahbelle [ Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
I enjoyed the interaction between Hilda and Vivien. Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh Mary, thank you so much for that
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Vivien is quite an addition to the staff. :) Sounds like she has more backstory than yet revealed, though....

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  clair [ Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wonderful, Mary your writing is incredible - I could see this so clearly.

Thank you
Author:  MaryR [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Travellers Joy wrote:
I can see a whole new saga presenting itself when Hilda's reaches an end! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I do have a small add-on if this ever finishes :roll: - but I'm afraid you've lost me, TJ. :oops:

Thank you all for the lovely comments and I'm sorry you've had to wait for this.

Hilda watched the door close behind Vivien with a puzzled frown. Just why had she been so very open with her young colleague? Was it because she was exhausted and could barely see for pain? Or was it Vivien herself? She invited one to settle awhile and feel relaxed and at peace, buoyed up by that comedic strain which flashed out when least expected. All that invited confidences that one wouldn’t otherwise consider making.

Hilda was not to know that Vivien found in her Headmistress an equally peaceful companion, one who judged not nor condemned. Though Vivien did have to admit to a certain awe in Hilda’s presence, awe at her gentle goodness, her perceptive graciousness and her unbelievable generosity of spirit.

Vivien knew she herself was imagining that voice of Nell Wilson’s – no one communed with the dead in that way. Hilda, however, had lost one so dear to her heart, and was so close to God, that maybe miracles still occurred for such people. But even if she herself had conjured it all up out of thin air, Vivien knew the voice was right. Ellie and Ruth were becoming dear presences in her life. And Hilda? Hilda would always be very special to Vivien now, and just to be called friend by her eased that loneliness she feared. She knew that if ever she was in trouble, Hilda would be her first port of call. Hilda had a rare, quiet assurance, the assurance of the born leader. She knew what she was about and never appeared to panic.

Vivien stopped dead in her tracks. Even leaders sometimes had their doubts, she told herself. Even leaders of long-standing! Especially leaders who were sensitive and aware. She closed her eyes, searched her mind, then turned and went back the way she had come….

Meanwhile, Hilda sat on, swinging gently in the chair, so tired that her thoughts metamorphosed into a kind of misty dreaminess - and candles somehow seemed to be floating in that mistiness. Since Nell’s death, the journey back from the brink had been so dark that at first there had been no light at all. Now, all of a sudden, she saw all the little candles that God had placed so lovingly on her journey, to light the way for her. Not just little ones, either, but mighty big ones at times, beautiful, golden, sweet-smelling candles that warmed her through and through, as well as shedding their radiance on her path - Mother Abbess, Vivien, Ellie, Ian and Gwynneth, not to mention Nancy. Each of them had been a vivid flame of goodness and solace, set down in front of her every time the night had seemed darkest.

Then there had been all the smaller candles – so many of the staff, especially Rosalie; sisters at the convent like Pauline and Patricia; letters written to her from afar; loving phone calls from Madge Russell; verses and poems sent to encourage her from kindly folk such as Biddy O’Ryan; little kindnesses from the girls…

So many boons and blessings I have received from you and God, dear heart! Was ever a woman so surrounded by such devotion and care? Then tell me, Nell – why do I still miss you so much? Why the devastation of this afternoon, the hole that opened wide in front of me?

She knew the comprehensive answer Mother Abbess would have given her. Nell had been her better self, her right arm, the friend of her soul. Once removed, a severed body part could never be replaced. One had to learn to do without it, even when the nerve endings still tingled with pain – would probably tingle with pain to her life’s last gasp….

Abruptly the door swung open in the middle of these thoughts, making her jump out of her skin. Vivien’s head poked in once more. Her face was intense, her eyes alight with her affection for her Headmistress. She spoke without preamble.

“You’re tired and anxious about those two girls and about Ellie – as well as many other girls, if I know you. I have a feeling there’s guilt mixed in there somewhere, as well. You’re also probably debating just what you can say to Tessa’s mother that could possibly help. So, in return for all the stuff you quote at me, let me give you some words of wisdom and encouragement from Emerson:

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.”

Before Hilda could speak, Vivien was gone again, the door closing silently behind her. She made her way through the dim, quiet corridors to her room, wondering if she had gone too far. What on earth had impelled her to speak so forthrightly? Would Hilda forgive her, or dismiss her on the spot for insubordination? What a day it had been – and evening! She felt as though she didn’t know which way was up any more, which probably explained those blunt words to Hilda. Maybe the screaming wind, the creaking and shuddering of the building and the lateness of the hour all had something to do with it, too….

Or maybe, just maybe, Nell Wilson did still patrol these corridors and classrooms, where she had once been such a vibrant presence. Maybe she was the one who had sent her back to Hilda with that message.

Okay, Nell, I’m not sure you’re really there but, if you are, I heard you earlier. I will always watch out for her.You can count on me. And yes, I think I can cope with you and what Hilda calls your shenanigans. After all, you’re never going to ask me to hurt her, are you?

Hilda herself still sat at Rosalie’s desk, still swung the chair gently backwards and forwards, but she was now staring in a most bemused fashion at the door. Had Vivien been a mirage, called up by her thoughts about candles?

Blunders and absurdities? Oh yes, Vivien, they creep in every day. How very astute of you. Most people only see the impassive face, not the mistakes and flaws. But you are astute, aren’t you, and would make a most magnificent Headmistress here. However, that post is already gone – and you wouldn’t want it anyway. I have a feeling there’s a differert sort of post awaiting you somewhere, a post you’re not even aware as yet that you want. But please don’t go too soon. I need the light from your particular candle, Ellie needs it, too. It is such a gentle and healing light.
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda desvribes Vivien with such tender care and love

Quote:
Blunders and absurdities? Oh yes, Vivien, they creep in every day. How very astute of you. Most people only see the impassive face, not the mistakes and flaws. But you are astute, aren’t you, and would make a most magnificent Headmistress here. However, that post is already gone – and you wouldn’t want it anyway. I have a feeling there’s a differert sort of post awaiting you somewhere, a post you’re not even aware as yet that you want. But please don’t go too soon. I need the light from your particular candle, Ellie needs it, too. It is such a gentle and healing light.


Thank you Mary for making them all so alive.

:D :D :D
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh my, Vivien really has absorbed so much about Hilda in such a short time, hasn't she? That was a truly reflective interval both for herself and for Hilda, as each took to the time to look at what life has handed to them. Hilda admits yet again that despite all the things and people who have conspired to try to fill the void left by Nell, she will never truly be free of the pain of that 'limb' she has lost - a figurative example of what physicians call 'phantom limb' pain. Vivien acknowledges so much which has come into her life to fill the void that her past experiences have left. That Emerson quotation is so apt, too for both of them - tomorrow is definitely another day.

Thank you Mary - I'm so glad I found this almost as soon as you had posted it.

Edited to add a quotation from 'The Scent of Roses' by Thomas Moore, which was tantalising me all the time I was writing this, but couldn't look up without losing what I'd already said here:

Let Fate do her worst, there are relics of joy,
Bright dreams of the past, which she cannot destroy,
Which come in the night-time of sorrow and care,
And bring back the features that joy used to wear.
Long, long be my heart with such memories fill'd,
Like the vase in which roses have once been distill'd.
You may break, you may ruin the vase if you will,
But the scent of the roses will hang 'round it still.

It expresses thoughts which I've felt appropriate for ND several times before, but it really got hold of me tonight - I have a lovely recording of Mary O'Hara singing it. Now I'd better go back to the website where I found the quote and delete it before I have the tune going round in my head for the rest of the day!
Author:  Luisa [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
AFter avery long day, can there be anything better than this post? Thank you Mary - I hope you are intending to follow Vivien's destiny as well.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary.
Vivien is really developing here and I suspect we are all going to join TJ in wishing for more from you about her :lol:

Ruth xxxxxxxxxxxx
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary - hope that helps Hilda.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:44 am ]
Post subject: 
What a beautiful concept of the candles that have illumined her way through grief - and how true that they were
Quote:
Not just little ones, either, but mighty big ones at times, beautiful, golden, sweet-smelling candles that warmed her through and through, as well as shedding their radiance on her path
And to see Hilda acknowledging them like that shows just how many and how remarkable these interactiins have been during the past not-quite-a-year.

And how clearly Vivien sees exactly what Hilda needs - that all leaders have their doubts and need heartening and encouragement, and what splendid words she uses to do just that. As Hilda acknowledges, she is very astute. It's so fitting that she who never met Nell in life has acquired this sensitivity to her presence as a result of what she has freely given to Hilda during the past months - something that Nell evidently approves of!

Thank you Mary.
Author:  Squirrel [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh Mary... WOW! That was just wonderful. I loved the mix of Hilda's thoughts and Vivien's thoughts, and the way they came together to create this wonderful picture. They are both such important influences in the school now, and this shows that fact perfectly. That Vivien's first trip should leave Hilda feeling comforted shows that she is in posession of much of Hilda's own calming presence - as well as her full endowment of Nell's fun and passion for life. That she could listen to what her heart was telling her, and actually go back to say those words to Hilda, and then talk to Nell in case she were listening - Amazing, absolutely stunning.

And what post does Hilda think that Vivien will, in time, leave the school to take on? Or do I mean role?

Thank you Mary.
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Elder, if ever there was a case of great minds thinking alike, it is now. :shock: I have that very verse of that very poem written into ND months ahead of now, because it seemed to fit so well into what is happening at the time. It is so beautiful and so poignant, the whole thing, that I knew I had to include it. Like you I feel it is so appropriate for Hilda and her loss.

I too have the recording you mentioned - and her autobiography, signed by her when we saw her in concert - "To Mary from Mary" :lol:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:59 pm ]
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Oh my goodness, Mary - I just saw your post -definitely a case of great minds......!! :lol: :lol: I too, have a copy of Mary O'Hara's book - but not an signed one!

Will look forward to seeing the piece again in due course, in the actual context of your story.
Author:  linda [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,

What a wonderful vision is conjured up by the analogy of people as candles helping to light the way in Hilda’s darkness of soul, all placed there by God’s guiding hand.

I love the way that Hilda and Vivien are opening up to each other. Nell was very wise when she sent Vivien. Both these women are lonely and they can learn so much from each other. And, both of course have wonderful gifts which they can share with Ellie and broaden her life whilst giving her love and security. I too am wondering what other role is in store for Vivien in the future.

MaryR wrote:
Quote:
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.”

I loved this quote from Emerson. It is certainly something we could all do to remember.


Thank you Mary, for another lovely thought-provoking post.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Mary. Vivien was lovely and I loved the quote she gave Hilda
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Luisa wrote:
AFter avery long day, can there be anything better than this post? Thank you Mary - I hope you are intending to follow Vivien's destiny as well.

Thank you, Luisa. And you will find out Vivien's destiny before the end of this saga, I promise you. :D This piece is also something of a saga, I'm afraid! :oops:


Suddenly Hilda heard a noise. Coming back to herself, she saw Gillian and Mireille standing beside her, both of them looking more composed, though there were traces of tears on their cheeks. Her mind was still in some confusion but she conjured up a smile for them.

“It’s done you good, I can see. Go to bed quickly, girls, for it’s very late. I’ll pop in and see before I seek my own bed.”

The girls left and she rose to her feet, only to stagger as the hammering in her head intensified. You were right, Gwynneth, but Barbara’s needs are more important than mine just now. I promise to take myself off to bed straight after.

She went throught the connecting door, picked up the phone and sank down into her chair, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

“Barbara, thank you for doing that,” she murmured, her mellow voice conveying sympathy across the miles. “They look better for it, and will sleep now. I just hope it hasn’t made things worse for you yourself.”

The woman at the other end sighed. “No, Hilda, you did exactly the right thing. I think we all needed each other and it will give me something to cheer Tessa, maybe. They are both such dear girls and all three of them look out for each other. Tessa is lucky in her friends, as she is lucky in her Headmistress…. a most unusual Headmistress, to do such a brave and very loving thing. Thank you, Hilda.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, Barbara, if it helped. But tell me, dear, how is Tessa?”

She heard Barbara Lewis gulp, swallow, take a deep breath. A distraught voice shattered the quiet humming of the line between them. “Oh, God, Hilda, it hurts so much to see one’s child suffer like this, and to be unable to do anything. I long to take her place, I beg God to let me bear this pain for her…. But He’s silent.... I don’t think…”

She stopped, let out a sob. By this time, Hilda’s eyes were wide open, staring at the butterflies. She thought back to her own reaction when Ellie had hurt herself the day before. Oh, yes, she might not be a mother, but she had experienced the vain longing to take the pain into herself. Love could undo the most stoical of hearts.

Barbara’s control disappeared. “She’s in such pain, in spite of all they’re giving her…. but she’s so brave… my baby, lying there in agony, pinned to that bed… and yet she smiles… tells us not to worry, that she’s fine…. How can she be fine…? And Katy…. she blames herself still, despite the help she’s receiving.”

She broke down and wept bitter tears. Hilda spoke soothing words, even though she knew the heart-broken mother wouldn’t be hearing them. She understood that terrible anguish of soul. The death of her loved ones had taught her too well.

Gradually the tears died away. “I’m… so sorry, Hilda…”

“Please don’t be, my dear. Weep as much as you like. You need to let go or you’ll break down completely. We all do when the pain gets too great to bear.” She paused, not wanting to hurt the grieving woman, then spoke tentatively. “Barbara, I hope your friends are helping.”

There was silence, a fraught silence, then Barbara replied brokenly, “We’ve only been here a year, Hilda, as you know, and I spend so much time at work – I’m acting as John’s secretary while we’re here. His proper one stayed in Berne to keep the office going there. So I’ve had no time to make real friends, only acquaintances.... My friends are either in England or in Switzerland – they can’t help me here.... We were due to stay another year, to build up this branch of the firm, but John has found such a good person to run it that he talks about going back to Berne, as soon as Tessa is well again. But how long that will be…. and how much we will need to stay so she can be followed up by the surgeons treating her… are all in the lap of the gods. So, to answer your question, Hilda – no, there’s no one really. And I find that very hard… especially as John seems to think I should still go in and keep on top of the work when we’re not with Tessa.”

Hilda gasped and then spoke without thinking. “But there’s Katy, she needs you very badly. She needs John as well. And you’re in no state to work, anyway….” She stopped, appalled at herself. It was not her business to condemn other people’s behaviour! Blunders and absurdities, did you say, Vivien? Tiredness and pain were reducing her self-control too much tonight. “Barbara, I’m so sorry – that was very rude of me.”

She heard a bitter laugh at the other end. “It may have been rude, Hilda, but it was truth. Katy does need John, but he’s not available – to either of us.” Hilda sat up straight, listening hard. “He’s been trying to get into work whenever he can, leaving us to come home alone, and when he is home he hides away. He doesn’t even seem to notice how upset we are, how tired from not sleeping….. He won’t talk about Tessa, walks away when he sees me crying…. I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. And it’s so unlike him. He’s hurting Katy beyond belief – she needs him to hold her, needs to hear that he still loves her even though it was to save her that Tessa was hurt - and I don’t know what to do about it all…”

Hilda was stunned. John Lewis had talked to her quite openly about Tessa, poured out his grief, as his wife was now doing. Why couldn’t he do the same to his wife? Surely that was the whole point of marriage, each to uphold the other - as she and Nell had done. They hadn’t needed words. They had learned over the years that just holding someone, sitting with them in compassionate silence, was far better comfort than any words. A simple hug spoke volumes.

A door opened in her mind. Her father peered through. Once, before going away to university, she had asked him why he had been so cold to her after her mother’s death, why he had sent her back to school so soon, when all she had wanted was to be with the only parent she had left, to be held and comforted. His ashamed response resounded clearly in her head.

She spoke slowly into the phone, feeling her way. “I think he’s scared, Barbara. He’s scared of making it worse for you if he lets out his own pain on top of yours, scared he’ll break down and cry when you need him to be strong, and scared that once he does break down he won’t be able to stop, and that you’ll think he’s weak. Same for Katy – he knows a girl leans on her father, sees him as a rock, and he can’t be that right now. He possibly also reasons that because she is unhurt, and has one of the sisters helping her, maybe she doesn’t need him as Tessa needs him.”

She could feel the intensity of Barbara’s concentration. “He must feel helpless, Barbara. As a husband and a father, he no doubts thinks he should be able to fix anything for his family – but he can’t fix this and so he feels a failure. Worse, he wasn’t there to protect his daughter and that hurts him, Barbara – as I’m sure it hurts you.”

“If that’s the case, whatever can I do?” whispered the other woman.

Hilda hesitated. She wasn’t a marriage counsellor. What was she thinking? But it wasn’t in her to refuse to help. “He’s a good man, my dear. Maybe you need to sit down quietly with him, tell him you need to know he weeps for Tessa as much as you do; tell him his younger daughter is desolate without his arms round her. Just ask him for a hug perhaps! I don’t know, my dear, I’ve never been married and I don’t want to interfere.”

But here was something she could do for them. She could drop a gentle hint in John Lewis’s ear next time he phoned, ask him how he thought his wife and daughter were coping. “But, Barbara, have you thought of talking to the Sisters there? One of them’s helping Katy. Maybe another of them could sit with you, let you pour out some of this terrible pain. They’re counsellors, after all. They would understand. Let them give you what they’re already giving Katy, if John can’t just now.”

Brabara spoke slowly. “The Mother Abbess told me to ring if I ever needed to talk. But I haven’t liked to bother her – she’s a busy person.”

“But not too busy to help someone who’s suffering,” replied Hilda urgently. “Never too busy for that, I promise you. When I was in despair after my friend’s death, they were unstinting in their help, and even now provide the support I need.” Here was something else she could do. Mother Abbess in Norfolk would know how to help, could speak to the Abbess in Boston. “Barbara, do go and see them or telephone. You need to talk about this, and they promised they would give you any help you asked for. You can’t keep bottling it all up like this. Both Tessa and Katy need you strong for them. And if you’re strengthened, maybe John would come out of his shell and and you could help each other heal.”

There was silence on the other end. Finally she broke it, wondering if she had done more harm than good, if she had blundered irredeemably. “Barbara, I hope you don’t think I’ve been too blunt and outspoken,” she murmured softly. “If I’ve hurt you in any way….”

“No, Hilda, you haven’t done that at all,” burst out Barbara Lewis. “On the contrary, you’re being exceptionally kind and caring – and wise. But I’ve suddenly remembered your own great sorrow – and here am I doing nothing but thinking of myself. You’ve sent flowers week after week, written to both the girls faithfully every couple of days. How you do that on top of a busy schedule and a battle with your own grief, I just don’t know. I’m ashamed, Hilda.”

Hilda’s throat tightened and she found it hard to speak. “Please don’t be ashamed, Barbara. The journey hasn’t been easy, but Mother Abbess in Norfolk has been a tower of strength for me and I am learning how to live once more. Tessa’s road to physical recovery will not be easy either – she will have a heavy burden of pain and disability to carry for a while, but she too will learn to live again. And she will learn more about herself now than she could ever have learned any other way. I know, because I was in her situation once, many years ago.”

She let her words die away, allowed Barbara time to think over the words that had been spoken. A whisper floated down the line. “Hilda, may I phone you again? You’ve been such a help. I was at my wit’s end when you called and asked if the girls could speak to me. But their love for Tessa and your gentle understanding have both helped. I feel stronger already.”

“It was my pleasure, Barbara, and of course you may phone again. Don’t ever feel you are a burden. But now, my dear, I’m afraid I must go. It’s after midnight here. Is there anything else I can do before I go?”

“No, Hilda. You’ve been wonderful. God bless you for everything.” Tessa’s mother’s voice was filled with her gratitude. “Like I said, Tessa is very, very lucky in her Headmistress.”

“As you and we are lucky in Tessa, my dear. Take comfort in the Lord, Barbara, and trust in Him. I have seen what good He can bring out of the worst disasters. O God, You are my rock, my rescue and my refuge. I leave it all quietly to you. (George Appleton)”
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:29 pm ]
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Well done Hilda, very well done - just what Barbara needed to hear - now get yourself to bed before you collapse!



Thanks Mary.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:13 pm ]
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Once again Hilda has found the strength to say what needed to be said, and to hearten Barbara so much that it's hard to realise that all this has been done via a telephone line, and that thousands of miles separate the two of them. That conversation was so filled with sympathy and with practical suggestions as Hilda drew on her own reserves and resources, and at the same time spotted ways in which she could be the source of even more help for these lonely people. It's no wonder that Barbara asked if she could phone her again another time.

As always, Hilda has helped others with no thought of the cost to herself, even though the throbbing of her head at the start reminds us of just how bad she must have been feeling by that time. I hope that she now remembers her promise to Gwyneth and takes herself off to her bed for a well-earned rest.

Thank you Mary
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:45 pm ]
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Thank you Mary.
(((Hilda)))
(((Barbara, John, Tessa, and Katy)))
Glad that the Sisters are there in Boston to help Barbara and the family.
Author:  Elbee [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:36 pm ]
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Hilda was very caring and thoughtful there.

Thank you Mary, beautifully written, as always.
Author:  Squirrel [ Fri Feb 29, 2008 12:00 am ]
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Wow! Well done Hilda. She has just managed to give so much - just the words that Barbara was needing to hear. Even so ill as she is right now, she somehow managed to say just the right things. I do hope that Barbara will be able to follow through on that - and that Hilda will be able to check in on the girls and get herself off to bed now!

Thanks Mary.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Feb 29, 2008 12:42 am ]
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Superb once again Mary. Hilda got it just right - for everyone else! Now she really does need to do the right thing by herself, and get to sleep.
(((((Hilda, Tessa & family, Vivien - and not least, yourself, Mary)))))
Author:  Chris [ Fri Feb 29, 2008 2:15 pm ]
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It's that 'man' thing again isn't it (no offence to any men on the board!) - burying himself in work and keeping away from the situation.
Author:  linda [ Fri Feb 29, 2008 9:08 pm ]
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Chris wrote:
It's that 'man' thing again isn't it (no offence to any men on the board!) - burying himself in work and keeping away from the situation.


I think, too, that he does not know how to deal with the situation. Traditionally men are supposed to be the protectors and make sure that their families are safe. John must feel that he has failed and he doesn't know how to talk to Barbara when all she wants is for him to weep along with her.

Once again Hilda has been able to offer help to others, but she is still unwilling to admit when she needs it. I do hope that she can now go to bed and get some rest before she collapses.

Thank you Mary for another wonderful post.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:42 am ]
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Hilda was truly magnificent in her handling of this conversation; she will have helped them all immensely, I think.

It was a delight to log on this morning and find this, Mary - thank you !
Author:  MaryR [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:58 pm ]
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Hilda says to tell you all she'll go to bed when she's good and ready! :lol:

Putting the receiver down on a very grateful woman, Hilda buried her face in her hands. Would her aching head allow her to get to her feet and reach her room? Before she could do the latter, though, she had promised Mireille and Gillian she would look in on them, and she also wanted to reassure herself that Ellie was comfortable. Can you carry me for a few minutes more, Lord?

The answer was immediate. An arm was laid round her shoulders, a voice spoke quietly in her ear. “I told you I’d be back. I’ve been waiting in Rosalie’s room for you to finish. That was a long conversation, love, but now you have to think of yourself. If you don’t go to bed right this instant, I shall insist on you staying there the whole of tomorrow.”

With what seemed like an enormous effort, Hilda raised her head and looked into Matey’s worried eyes. “I’m on my way, Gwynneth – but you look tired out yourself. Is everyone asleep, or is this wind causing problems? It seems to be getting louder by the minute.”

“Most are over, and the few who aren’t there yet have been offered hot milk and the company of their dorm prefects for once.” Mater glared down. “Are you coming? You’re too tall for me to drag through the corridors.”

Hilda switched off the desk light and staggered to her feet. They went through to Rosalie’s room, so they could turn off those lights as well, and, as they did so, Matey remembered something. “By the way, I’ve taken the liberty of moving the rising bell to half past eight. I’ve also warned Karen, so she can have some extra sleep, too. I think we all need it, and it will shorten tomorrow, seeing as we’ll all be stuck indoors.”

“Thanks, Gwynneth. I was going to do that myself, but I’m afraid it slipped my mind.”

Matey guided her Head through the door. “I’m not really too surprised. The wonder is that you have any mind left, after the last two days!” She cleared her throat, looking flustered. “By the way, I apologise for laying into you earlier in front of Ellie. None of it was your fault.”

“Already forgotten, Gwynneth!” replied Hilda softly. “You were only concerned for her well-being. Maybe she shouldn’t have done it, but it did her good. It gave her confidence in herself, in her place here. And I learned more about my ward, things I might never have discovered. So please don’t worry Vivien about it. I just hope it doesn’t cause more problems…”

Her face was troubled and Matey clasped her arm comfortingly. They were standing outside Rosalie’s office, and now Matey tried to usher Hilda towards the Annexe, but the latter turned, instead, to the front stairs.

“Hilda? Where do you think you’re going?” gasped Matey. “Your bed is that way.”

Hilda started up the stairs, hanging on to the rail. “I’m sorry, Gwynneth, but I promised Mireille and Gillian I would look in on them before I went to bed.”

“Let me do it, for goodness sake. You’re dead on your feet.” Matey was spoiling for a fight. One could almost sense her metaphorically rolling up her sleeves in readiness. Hilda stopped, took a deep breath and looked at her friend.

“They’re my responsibility, Gwynneth, not yours” she said quietly. “They did something very hard just now, on my say-so, and I made them a promise. You, above all, know full well I keep my promises. It won’t take long.”

Matey stared into the wan and weary face of her Headmistress, saw the heavy eyes and the deep frown of pain, and stopped fighting. Giving in would make fewer demands on Hilda’s dwindling resources. She sighed exaggeratedly, nodded and extracted her torch from her pocket. Hilda accepted it and grinned knowingly, then turned and plodded up the remaining stairs. She made her way to Larkspur while Matey went off to the other dormitories to check up on the sleepless girls.

Hilda entered Larkspur silently and moved towards Gillian’s cubicle. Lifting the curtain, however, she saw that the Games Prefect was already fast asleep. With a sigh of relief, she dropped that curtain and lifted Mireille’s, but, to her utter astonishment, the bed was empty. She stood a moment in thought, and then inspiration came. Making a noiseless exit, she turned down a corridor and came to the Head Girl’s bedroom. Yes, there was a strip of light showing along the bottom of the door. Mireille had sought sanctuary.

Hilda tapped very gently and opened the door, to see Mireille curled up in a ball on the bed, her back against the wall. She was as white as a sheet and there were tears trickling down her cheeks. She had more imagination than Gillian and was very upset about their friend. When she saw her Headmistress she quickly made to move but Hilda shook her head and sat on the bed herself. She felt the girl’s hands.

“Mireille, you’re freezing,” she gasped. “Wrap a blanket round you while I go and get you a hot drink. Here,” and quickly she pulled a spare blanket out of the tiny wardrobe. She wrapped it gently round the now shivering girl and handed her a clean hankie. She bent and switched on the little radiator which had been turned off when Mireille refused to use the room, moved the dial to get it as hot as she could, then shot back out through the door.

She knew full well she would get short shrift from Gwynneth, but a promise was a promise – and it wasn’t in Hilda Annersley to leave one of her girls suffering. She found Matey’s hideyhole and proceeded to put a pan on the stove and heat up some of the milk that was always kept there. She was miles away when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“And what do you think you’re doing now?” growled Matey. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

Quickly Hilda explained as she poured the warm milk into a beaker. “She needs to talk before she’ll sleep, Gwynneth. I know all you want to say to me. There’s no one wants me in bed more than I do. But I have to do this. So please don’t give me a hard time.”

Her voice by this time was pleading and Matey could see she was near the end of her tether. She remembered how she had suspected at the staff meeting that she wouldn’t be able to lay the law down to the Hilda who had returned from the convent after Christmas. She reined in her exasperation.

“You’re like a blinking sheepdog. You won’t let go and rest until all your lambs are soothed and comforted, no matter the weather or your own condition – because you love them.”

Hilda picked up the beaker, turned to the door. “And you, my friend, are a yapping terrier, nipping at my ankles, pulling on my skirt, determined to get my notice and make me change direction – because you love me.”

Her voice was rich with affection and Matey’s look was abashed. Hilda had her bang to rights. “Okay, love, okay,” she said softly. “Go do your good shepherd act. I expect you’ll be taking some painkillers before you go to bed so I’ll leave some hot milk in a flask for you.” She held up her hands. “No sedative, I promise, not with painkillers, but it might help you relax. I won’t nag you any more, but trust you to go to bed after you’ve sorted out Mireille and looked in on Ellie.”

“Bless you, Gwynneth,” murmured Hilda, as she disappeared through the door. “And go to bed yourself. That’s an order – from the boss. Yes, surprise, surprise, that’s me, not you!”
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:05 pm ]
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Oh lovely, Mary. That was just right - and we will all trust Hilda to go to her bed when she can . . . it's our love for her that keeps us worried about her :shock:
Thanks, as always
Author:  Squirrel [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:06 pm ]
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Oh! I am so glad that Gwynneth is there. How difficult she found it that she wasn't able to turn Hilda from her plans - but I'm sure she knew it would be like that! And how sensible she is in knowing just when to draw the line, just where Hilda would budge, and when she wouldn't.

Poor Mirelle, I wish she was more like Gillian, but her nature just isn't the kind to let her sleep that easily. I do hope that she will feel better soon, after her hot drink and chat, and that she will be off to sleep soon after that.

Thanks Mary.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:20 pm ]
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That was just lovely, Mary - and yet again we see that determined side of Hilda who won't 'pander' to herself until she is assured that all who need her help are satisfied - something which not even Gwynneth can now change, much as she would like to do so. But those little exchanges between the two of them during this episode reinforce once again just how much Hilda *does* rely on Gwynneth.

I'm sure that a quiet talk with Hilda, plus the hot drink, will do much to help Mireille, and that in the end, it won't be long until Hilda can finally seek her own bed.

Thanks, as always, Mary.
Author:  linda [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:

“You’re like a blinking sheepdog. You won’t let go and rest until all your lambs are soothed and comforted, no matter the weather or your own condition – because you love them.”

Hilda picked up the beaker, turned to the door. “And you, my friend, are a yapping terrier, nipping at my ankles, pulling on my skirt, determined to get my notice and make me change direction – because you love me.”


What a lovely picture and how appropriate! :D I love the thought of Hilda as a sheepdog. But Matey as a terrier? I would never have thought of that. However, Hilda is right, Matey is always so determined, hanging on no matter what, just like a wiry little terrier!

I do hope Hilda can get to bed soon. She is now going to talk to Mireille, and then she is still determined to check on Ellie, who, hopefully will be fast asleep.

At least Matey has made sure they can all have a late start in the morning, so Hilda should be able to get some rest, eventually.

Thank you Mary for another lovely post.
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:21 pm ]
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If Matey is wise she'll ensure Hilda is not awoken by any bells tomorrow. Hope Hilda doesn't cause herself too much pain while easing the pain for Mirelle.


Thanks Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:38 pm ]
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Thank you Mary.
I'm beginning to think Hilda has a time-turner (Harry Potter crossover anyone?) - this day must seem inteminable to her. Please let the poor thing have a rest after this.
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
MAry wrote

Quote:
You’re like a blinking sheepdog. You won’t let go and rest until all your lambs are soothed and comforted, no matter the weather or your own condition – because you love them.”



I think Hilda is more like the shepherd and Gwynneth the sheep dog trying to help.

Hope hilda can sleep through the bells in the morning.
Author:  leahbelle [ Wed Mar 05, 2008 4:10 pm ]
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I love the relationship between Matey and Hilda.

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:47 pm ]
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Thanks Mary
Author:  Kathy_S [ Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:54 pm ]
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Hope Hilda doesn't push herself over the edge! But there haven't exactly been any points at which "no" seems the right answer.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:09 pm ]
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Hilda is so tired and yet she has so much to give to those who need her. Her conversation with Barbara was so moving in its recognition of that male need to be doing something practical to ease emotional pain and the inability to discuss a situation when sheer practicality isn't enough. And when she has heard and comforted Barbara there are Gillian and Mireille who need her too. Yes, Gwynneth is right, Hilda needs to sleep, but that terrier-like ability does understand that Hilda has no choice here: she has to help those who need her, and knows that there is no point just yet where she can look to her own comfort.

Thank you Mary; this is so very moving and thought-provoking.
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you for your kindly comments.

....“Bless you, Gwynneth,” murmured Hilda, as she disappeared through the door. “And go to bed yourself. That’s an order – from the boss. Yes, surprise, surprise, that’s me, not you!”

Smiling, she made her way back to the little bedroom and set the beaker down on the bedside table. The room was now warmer and, when she felt the girl’s hands, they, too, were much warmer. Mireille tried to smile at her but her lips wobbled and tears once more trickled down her cheeks. Hilda pulled round the room’s one small armchair so it was close to the bed and sat down with a silent prayer. She let the girl cry for a minute or two, but then leaned forward and began to speak softly.

“Mireille, try to stop, dear, because it’s doing no one any good. You’ll only end up with a headache and won’t have helped Tessa one iota. She’ll still be in a lot of pain.” Mireille struggled with herself, wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “That’s better. Now drink that while it’s still warm.” She laughed gently at Mireille’s involuntary grimace. “Ah! I see you’re as much of a lover of hot milk as I am! Never mind! Down the hatch with it!”

Mireille sipped the drink, wondering if she were dreaming or if she really was sitting here companionably with her Headmistress in the middle of the night. Tessa’s accident was offering her opportunities she would never have had otherwise, especially the chance to see a completely new side to the Abbess. She had found in Miss Annersley the kindly, understanding friend Tessa had told her about, the one she would never again be afraid to approach. It was the last thing she had expected on this stormy night. After all, she had come here to hide from everyone. How had the Abbess known where to look?

“It wasn’t hard, Mireille,” murmured Hilda, who had been watching the emotions flickering across the girl’s weary face and the questions in her eyes. “When I found your cubicle empty I had an inkling you’d done exactly what I would have done myself - and there aren’t too many hidey holes up here.”

Mireille gasped and sat up straighter. She was stunned at this confidence from her Head. Her life truly had changed. Hilda smiled to herself. She could see she had set the girl’s thoughts on a new track and was satisfied. She released Mireille's hands, sat back and began to speak musingly, as though continuing a conversation they had already started.

“You helped Mrs Lewis tonight.” Some relief and gratitude dawned in the brown eyes watching her. “She’d been feeling very upset, as any mother would, and your thoughtfulness and your love for Tessa comforted her in a big way. But I’m not going to lie to you, dear. The unpalatable truth is that Tessa is gravely ill again and the doctors are extremely concerned.”

“But she’s so far away that we can’t do anything,” said Mireille, disconsolately.

“And that hurts, doesn’t it?” asked Hilda, her mind flashing to a broken body lying in a Spanish hospital, no friend on hand to offer comfort. “However, being there wouldn’t have changed the facts, my dear, nor could you have done anything for her, anyway. They wouldn’t have let you near. That’s why I say the best thing you can do is pray – and then, keep up the good work Tessa herself was doing for the school. However, once she is set firm on the road to recovery, she will miss you all far more than she is doing at the moment; will miss her usual routine, might feel robbed of her time as Head Girl. So perhaps you could put your heads together and think of ways to make her heart a little less sore when that time comes.”

Mireille nodded sadly. “We will, I promise. You know, Mademoiselle Annersley, the three of us were so looking forward to having a really good year together before we went our separate ways. Now....it’s all spoilt.”

Hilda took hold of the girl’s hands. “Mireille, nothing is spoilt. You will have other good times together. You will never lose your friendship – it will sustain each of you all through life, if you but nurture it. One year isn’t a lifetime, child.” She stopped, pondered. “Life isn’t spoiled – not even for Tessa, please God. It’s just that it has changed, taken a new route, certainly for you and Tessa, not quite so much for Gillian. Tessa is battling with pain and suffering, you’re battling with yourself, with your responsibility for the school. As for Gillian – she’s battling with worry for both of you. She’s a stalwart friend, ma fille, so lean on her.”

She considered Mireille silently a moment, but the girl remained mute, needing more. “Mireille, you’ve had to learn this term that life is all about the unexpected – troubles appear out of thin air and seem to take away from us what we desire the most. We’re not asked if we want these challenges, we’re simply asked to face up to them with some sort of courage, and in the process we find out who and what we are. We find in ourselves things we didn’t know were there.”

She paused again and this time she saw that Mireille, being the intelligent girl she was, had begun to grasp what she was trying to say. There was a new thoughtfulness in her weary eyes, a resolute and brave acceptance of what still lay ahead.

“You’re beginning to understand, aren’t you? I suspect, for instance, that Tessa will seem very different when you meet again. She will have walked in a dark world of pain and fear, will have faced the shadows. Not only that, but she will have to re-think the journey that once seemed set fair. But she will be stronger, for she has immense courage. Taken in the right spirit, the dark times can help us develop qualities of patience and tenacity, compassion for others, perhaps even humour at life’s predicaments…..”

“But Tessa didn’t deserve to have to learn them like this,” Mireille burst out, interrupting Hilda and totally unaware of her discourtesy.

“Maybe not,” replied Hilda, squeezing the hand she was holding, “but anything worth having requires some sacrifice from us – and her sister’s life was worth any sacrifice, I should think, if I know Tessa. She will accept the consequences cheerfully, is accepting them cheerfully. Her mother tells me it is Tessa who is helping them, not the other way round. That is who she is, who she has always been. You will never hear Tessa complain that life isn’t fair, Mireille. Life is the way it is. Are you going to prove worthy of your friend and be the same?”

Mireille gazed at her intently for a few moments, and then let her head fall forward to hide her face. Hilda felt that, perhaps, she was being too demanding of a girl who was upset and weary, but Mirelle had made great strides since becoming Head Girl, had made more strides in this little room tonight, and Hilda wanted her to build on those and become the great help and blessing to her Headmistress and to the girls in her care that Tessa had always been, that most of the Head Girls had been. She would have so much more to offer people when she left school; would be a rock for others when they were in a hard place.

Hilda leaned forward, tilted Mireille’s head back up, saw the unshed tears. “You don’t feel able to act like Tessa, do you?” Her rich voice was sympathy personified. “Oh, my dear, you can. You will. Tessa knows what is within you, or she would never have chosen you for her friend. As I said a while ago, you too have been battling since the New Year. You had never anticipated being Head Girl, didn’t want it when it happened, asked me to appoint someone else. There’s a school story written by Evelyn Smith – perhaps you’ve read it. In it, the heroine, a young Middle, tells herself: What was wrong with human beings was that they thought they couldn’t, and their doubt took the power away from them. That’s what happened to you, just at first, isn’t it? You questioned your abilities, and doubt held sway.”

Mireille gazed once more on the clear-cut face and then smiled tearfully and nodded. “But once you realised how determined I was that you face up to the task, you did face up to it – and discovered just how capable you are for what has been demanded of you. Not only that, but you convinced the prefects that they too had to be more than they were. You’ve met every single challenge that these last two weeks have flung at you and built on what you’ve learned, even from the ones you think you failed. Perhaps even more from those!”

Mireille opened her lips to speak, but then looked dubious and remained silent.

“What is it, chérie?”

“I failed something simple the very first night,” she muttered. Hilda frowned, and Mireille added slowly, painfully, “You asked me to move in here, and I wouldn’t. I was such a coward! I felt I couldn’t cope without Gillian’s presence. Some Head Girl I was!” She stopped, took a deep breath. “May I sleep here tonight?”

“And tomorrow night and every night after that?” asked Hilda in hushed tones, as though gentling a frightened horse.

Mireille faced her, lips set firm. “Yes, I’m ready to be Head Girl now, thanks to you.”

Hilda was delighted beyond measure at the change two short weeks had rendered in this sensitive girl. She smiled lovingly at her, took both her hands again and pressed them gently.

“You are Head Girl, Mireille. You’ve proved that by your demeanour the last two weeks, and by your decisive planning and carrying through of tonight’s performance. It is all thanks to you and your courage, not to me at all. Now go forward confidently and take the prefects and the school with you. The staff and myself are all behind you, child.”

She added teasingly, “By the way, I’m still waiting to hear how you blackmailed the prefects into some sort of action. Now the blackmail has worked – oh yes, it has, dear! – you can surely let me in on the secret.”

Feeling more at ease in the Abbess’s company with every passing moment, Mireille leaned closer and told her all, leaving Hilda gasping at her temerity…
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary.

I am sure Hilda was suprised at how Mireille persuaded the prefects to rely on them selves and not Tessa.

The whole prefect body has grown over the last two weeks.

It seems impossible that it is only the first weeks of term, it seems as if it should be nearer half term there has been so much packed into it.

Thank you again. Hope Hilda can get a good nights rest soon.
:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Squirrel [ Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh Mary... You will give them Tessa back, won't you? Hilda is doing her best to comfort Mirelle and Gillian, and is providing all sorts of wonderful ideas, but you won't ask her to guide them through something as difficult as what she went through over Nell - it's already coming so close to that for her in her memory. Mirelle doesn't need to be head girl and to find that her friend has died. Nor does she need to feel that any plans she comes up with for enlivening the recuperation period are useless now - plans which will never be put into action.

I guess that my strength of reaction will assure you that I think Hilda did brilliantly there, shining like the brightest star in heaven, she yet again does all she needs to to bring one of her lambs to the place where she can rest. And how Mirelle has grown - it has been clear throughout really, but this is where it is clearest.

Again, I was in that room with them. I am so glad that Mirelle will start sleeping there, and I just loved Hilda's responce to her unspoken question, Mirelle will be glad to know that there are ways in which she is similar to her beloved head mistress.

Thank you Mary.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Mary that was so lovely
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
You could almost see Mirelle grow while Hilda was talking to her - thanks Mary.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:41 am ]
Post subject: 
We certainly could see Mireille growing 'visibly' all the time Hilda was talking to her. Although the signs of growth were already in evidence, this scene really does provide the final transformation - no matter what her doubts might have been, she definitely has risen to the challenge and come to accept her role as head girl - as Hilda hoped and believed that she would. It is wonderful to watch the relationship between the two changes during the scene - they can now deal with each other in a completely different way. And as always, we are aware of every nuance - in fact, I felt as if I was right there in the room with them -thank you for that.

Now all it needs is for you to let us in on the last part of that conversation, have Mireille tell us what she is just telling Hilda, and eventually allow Hilda to seek her bed, where we hope she will be allowed to sleep the clock round!!

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was an extraordinary level of understanding from Hilda, and Mireille was catable of appreciating so much. And the parallels between Mireille's difficulties and her own struggles must have struck Hilda - that same initial sense of helplessness and need and inadequacy, and the wondering at how to deal with such happenings.

But Mireille has, as Hilda points out, come so far in these last few weeks; the qualities that have been hidden within her have now come to the surface, dragged up by the challenges that she has had to meet; as Hilda says,
Quote:
"We find in ourselves things we didn’t know were there.”
. Mireille is now strong in the position that she holds - something that both she and Hilda recognise in her new-found readiness to move to the Head Girl's room, and while the course of her friendship with Tessa has been changed, she is learning that this is not neccessarily detrimental, adn that the future will still be worthwhile.

Thank you Mary - and I loved the Evelyn Smith quote.
Author:  dackel [ Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, that was a wonderful post - as ever. Mireille has really grown into her role, and will be, if not happy with it, then certainly satisfied that no one else could do better!

Now we just need to get Hilda to take her well-deserved rest - she does take some herding, doesn't she? May be it's all to the good that Matey is like a 'sheepdog'!
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
I always have to wait until I have some time to read this Mary - and then "read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest". There is so much to think about always - as well as the simple enjoyment of a very good story, beautifully written.

It is the best response to the idea that life isn't fair, ive ever come across.

Quote:
We’re not asked if we want these challenges, we’re simply asked to face up to them with some sort of courage, and in the process we find out who and what we are. We find in ourselves things we didn’t know were there.”


Thank you
Fiona
xx
Author:  Kathy_S [ Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mireille really has grown -- and Hilda is helping her to realize it. Still, no harm in hoping things'll ease off a little for both of them....

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  linda [ Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, how do you manage to write such beautiful emotional scenes? :D :D :D

Quote:
She considered Mireille silently a moment, but the girl remained mute, needing more. “Mireille, you’ve had to learn this term that life is all about the unexpected – troubles appear out of thin air and seem to take away from us what we desire the most. We’re not asked if we want these challenges, we’re simply asked to face up to them with some sort of courage, and in the process we find out who and what we are. We find in ourselves things we didn’t know were there


What a wonderful way of saying that life is not fair, it will always throw things at us from left field, just when we least expect it.

Mireille is growing quickly and developing into a very mature young woman who has tonight proved that she is fully capable of leading the prefects and the school.

Hilda instinctively knows just what to say to Mireille to make her understand how far she has come and how much she deserves the confidence which the school has in her ability to be a strong leader.

I hope both Hilda and Mireille will be able to sleep soon...

Thank you Mary, for another wonderful post.
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
linda wrote:
Mary, how do you manage to write such beautiful emotional scenes?

I don't, Linda - Hilda writes them, trust me! :P

Thank you all for the kind comments. I believe this is what you are waiting for... :lol:


After settling Mireille in bed in the little room, and leaving a note propped up on Gillian’s bedside table informing her of her friend’s sleeping arrangements, Hilda was finally able to wend her weary way to the Annexe. She was astounded at the fury of the storm raging outside. The whole building seemed to be shaking and groaning around her, like a living thing. The wind was swooping madly and charging the walls, wailing like a thing demented, making her almost long to shriek in sympathy with it. She feared for any living creature out in those freezing temperatures, and could only hope that the girls slept on, because it was fierce and wild enough to make one think of Biddy O’Ryan’s banshees. She suspected Gwynneth would be sleeping with one ear cocked tonight – but when did she not?

When she reached her room, she found the light on and a flask on her table. She also found a terse note telling her that there were two hot water bottles in her bed and would she please join them in very short order!

“Just a few minutes more, my dear Gwynneth,” she murmured in wry gratitude, as she poured out the drink. She took a deep, shuddering breath, stood with eyes closed for a moment or two, then picked up the cup, found her torch and Divine Office and made for Ellie’s room. Once inside, she laid the torch down. It was redundant. Matey had left the bedside light on. She set her drink and book on the floor by the chair and leaned over Ellie, searching the sleeping face for signs of pain.

The next instant she found herself blinded by sudden tears. This love of hers for Ellie was still so new and so astonishing that it could catch her unawares, take her by the throat and shake her to the core. Please God she never let this most courageous child down.

She sank into the chair and rubbed the tears away. Opening her Divine Office, she sipped her drink and tried to pray. But her head was too painful. She let it fall back against the chair, and gazed at Ellie, trying to recover a little peace, despite the tumult outside. Hard to believe it was only thirty-six hours since Ellie’s accident, so much else had happened since then. How she longed to protect her ward from any more harm. But she couldn’t. And shouldn’t!

She couldn’t keep Ellie in a bubble, nor would her ward want it. How could Ellie develop any self-worth or sense of purpose as an adult, if sheltered from the cold winds of life now? The grief and loneliness of her life thus far had neither dulled her spirit nor undermined her courage. She needed no protective bubble. She had grasped with willing hands all that Hilda had offered and was determined to make the best of it. And she had revealed tonight that no amount of bullying or physical pain was going to rob her of her chances at school. Her stunning performance at the contest had thrown down a challenge to the Megs of this world. As long as she had support and love to underpin her she would stride forward confidently.

No, Hilda had to allow her to go on testing her fledgling wings against any buffeting winds that came her way. Only thus would they become powerful enough to allow her to soar upwards, to fly, to make her dreams become reality.

Hilda sighed. Her thoughts ran over the day and she wondered how effective any one of her words had been. Judging by Meg’s face at the concert, it was quite clear that her Headmistress’s warning had been worse than useless and may actually have caused further harm. On the other hand, Mireille had grown before her very eyes in that little room earlier, and the account of how she had blackmailed the prefects into behaving as though they were prefects had amused and astonished Hilda. She would never have suspected Mireille of being confident enough, at the beginning of term, to threaten to resign if they didn’t pull their socks up. It had worked, yes, but Hilda suspected it was Mireille’s increasingly strong lead, and not the blackmail, which had really done the trick.

As for Mrs Lewis, Hilda could only pray that she had helped in some small way. Tessa’s mother’s burden was a heavy one and Hilda would do anything she could to help. In some ways, she understood John’s behaviour. When kept in the San after Nell’s death, and the others thought she had achieved some kind of acceptance and had all opened up about their own sorrow, she had wanted to scream at them that they had no idea – that her grief was such that she felt maimed, cut in half; that life as she had known it was now impossible. She hadn’t, of course, for that would have made their own grief even harder to bear. But, worse, she had been frightened that if she let go of herself a second time, as she had after the arrival of Nell’s letter, then she would shatter into a thousand pieces and would be lost forever.

So she had gone inside herself, put up the barriers, hidden her broken heart away – until Mother Abbess had torn the walls down, made her face the agony, made her whole again, or as whole as she would ever now be. Strangely, once that had happened, she had found Nell again.

Perhaps Mother Abbess could somehow find help for John, as well, so he too could be rescued from himself. How Hilda longed to speak with her friend, talk over her many worries, leave them on the nun’s broad shoulders, and then just sit silently with her and allow their closeness to revive her spirit. She could go to Gwynneth, and receive sound advice; she could go to Vivien and receive perceptive understanding and counsel; she could go to Nancy and receive generous love. All three were more than willing. But to none of them could she reveal herself as she had to Nell; and so none of them could give her what Nell’s companionship had offered. Only Mother Abbess could approach what she had found with Nell.

No matter the problem, she had only had to appear at Nell’s door to receive exactly what she needed. A searching look would be wordlessly bestowed on her and then she would find herself being comfortably seated, a drink thrust in her hand and a friend’s heart made ready to bestow whatever the situation demanded. Before she had even spoken, her needs were being met. Then, Nell’s cool, logical mind would worry at the problem, Nell’s loving heart would ease the load, Nell’s sardonic humour would tease away the frown. Even when the problem was just one of those little inconsequestial things that Mother had mentioned! Like Nell, Mother Abbess would have welcomed her tonight with open arms and heart, even if it was well after midnight!

Well after midnight? She glanced down at her watch and saw it was well after one o’clock, not midnight! She rose hurriedly to her feet. It would never do to let Matey catch her still sitting here! She leaned over Ellie once more, stroked the black hair with a tender hand, dropped a kiss on the cool cheek and reluctantly crept from the room. Once in her own room, she stripped off her clothes. Leaving them where they dropped, she swallowed some painkillers and fell into bed. She clutched her head and groaned as the pounding increased, but gradually the tablets began to work and she felt her senses slipping.

“I so enjoyed your company tonight, my Nell,” she whispered. “Mind you, if people knew I spoke with you, they’d cart me off in a strait-jacket, wouldn’t they? And I’m willing to bet that tickles you no end. Will you stay with me tonight, dear heart? More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world. (Millay)”

Her words trailed away, the headache gave way to exhaustion and she slept, a smile on her lips, a tear or two on her cheeks.

That’s a given, lovely girl. I’ll be here, not just this night, but every night, as long as you feel you need my presence. Do remember to cast all your anxieties on Him, dearest. He cares for you so much. I'm afraid you’re not quite ready for the strait-jacket just yet – I’m working on it! Sleep well, and wake refreshed......
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Look after her Nell. :cry:


Thanks Mary.
Author:  di [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, I've just caught up with all the posts I've missed and they're truly outstanding. How can Hilda give so much to those in need when she, herself is in such great pain, both emotionally and physically? She really is an amazing woman.
I'm so pleased she's finally got to bed and that Nell is beside her as always.

Thanks so much.
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary for making Hilda rest at last. Without you as well as Nell and Gwynneth she would still be sitting next to Ellie's bed I am sure.

Make they all sleep peacefully through the storm and may their guardian angels watch over them. They certainly need them.
:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:

Not enough for the whole school perhaps but at least a representative sample.
Author:  Fi [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm glad Nell was there for Hilda throughout this difficult evening. I hope Hilda's headache has gone in the morning as I imagine Meg has more trouble planned for Ellie.

Thank You Mary
Author:  Luisa [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank goodness you've finally got her to bed. Let her rest, she needs it.
And, just perhaps, so do you.
Take care.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:00 am ]
Post subject: 
A beautifully reflective piece, which shows us so much. Hilda's overwhelming tenderness for Ellie, coupled with the realisation that she must not seek to shelter her ward too completely from the world. Her never-ceasing sense of the whole-ness which was herself and Nell, not simply how they complemented each other, but how Nell was always 'there' for her, no matter what time of day or night it was. Her recognition that Mother Abbess has brought her to an admission of her sense of loss, and to some extent taken on Nell's role of advisor. The role of Gwynneth and Vivien - but above all, her need for Nell.

But still, it is with both relief and a sense of peaceful thankfulness tht she seeks her bed and that deep sleep she so desperately needs - now everyone else's needs have been met. And then to hear Nell's voice - assuring her that she remains watching over her like a guardian angel (though Nell herself would not put it that way!) That was just the crowning touch.

'Now the day is over,' indeed. But such a lovely, peaceful way to end it. May they all rest peacefully through this storm and as Luisa says, may you too, find some rest and peace along with them.

Thank you, Mary :D :D
Author:  Kathy_S [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:47 am ]
Post subject: 
What a day!
Good to see it ending with Nell's support, despite the pain ...
Between Nell & Matey, perhaps Hilda could get a decent night's sleep?

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I have such a clear picture of that house standing firm in the storm and Hilda the last to sleep.

And despite the storm, it's such a peaceful conclusion to the day, as she reviews the final interactions of the evening, fully comprehending how much has been gained and what still remains to be done. And like any mother, she goes to yearn protectively over her sleeping child, and comes face to face with that realisation that not only can she not protect her as she craves to do, but must not as it wouldn't be in Ellie's best interests.

But how much help and comfort Hilda has given today - even when as in the case of Meg, it doesn't seem to have been successful. And her pondering on the subject reveals just how much she can understand of others' feeling and motivations - and exactly where their strengths and capabilities are. Yet even with all this, there is still that need for Nell, the person to whom she could reveal herself, and who complemented her so beautifully.

And I loved the straitjacket remark.... :lol:

Thank you Mary
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just catching up now - thanks for these last posts - glad H has finally got to bed. You paint beautiful word-pictures, Mary.
Cath V-P wrote:
I have such a clear picture of that house standing firm in the storm and Hilda the last to sleep.

Exactly so, Cath - like the little Wanda Gag house in (I think) Millions of cats - snug and warm despite the raging weather outside.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:46 am ]
Post subject: 
'Who was it said: And I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep? That really does fit here - Hilda has certainly covered a lot of territory and kept a myriad of promises before she has been able to sleep. I too, loved Cath V-P's description of the house standing firm in the storm and Hilda being the last to sleep.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Robert Frost. Very suitable quote!
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
this was simply beautiful - thank you !
Author:  linda [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary, that was simply beautiful.

MaryR wrote:
Quote:
The next instant she found herself blinded by sudden tears. This love of hers for Ellie was still so new and so astonishing that it could catch her unawares, take her by the throat and shake her to the core. Please God she never let this most courageous child down.


I'm so pleased that Ellie, at least, was sleeping by the time that Hilda reached her again. But Hilda's love for her is so deep and very, very new, and of course, typical Hilda, her main worry is that she would let Ellie down.

MaryR wrote:
Quote:
That’s a given, lovely girl. I’ll be here, not just this night, but every night, as long as you feel you need my presence. Do remember to cast all your anxieties on Him, dearest. He cares for you so much. I'm afraid you’re not quite ready for the strait-jacket just yet – I’m working on it! Sleep well, and wake refreshed......


Lovely comforting words from Nell, who has been there all along, an unseen but unwavering help through the torments of a difficult day.

Sleep peacefully Hilda and may the angels watch over you, Ellie, Mireille and Tessa. :halo::halo::halo::halo::halo::halo::halo:

Thank you Mary for another wonderful post.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary this is awe inspiring as always. You seem to touch the matters of the heart and explain them so exquisitely and oh ever so gently and make sense of all the confusing thoughts and emotions.

Thank you
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fiona Mc wrote:
Mary this is awe inspiring as always. You seem to touch the matters of the heart and explain them so exquisitely and oh ever so gently and make sense of all the confusing thoughts and emotions.

Thank you for that, Fiona, but I could wish Hilda would come and make sense of all my confusing emotions. Sixty is far too old to be assailed like this. Guess I'm still a work in progress. :roll:

I do apologise for leaving you all in the lurch with ND and Revenge, but everything seems to have caught up with me, and I am struggling. I know exactly what happens in the next week for Hilda, can see the images in my mind - but can't get them down on paper, which has never happened before (so why do I have all the ending written? :oops: ) But thank you for the kindly comments so far.
Author:  Sarah [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't worry, Mary!
We are enjoying ND so far, and I'm sure we can be patient enough to wait! :D
Author:  jacey [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Waiting is good for the soul :) Yours and ours' Mary!
Must go back to the very beginning of ND...............
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary It will come back I am sure. Take a break and relax and let Hilda slowly work her magic for you again, You thought Revenge was complete until Hilda said otherwise, she will be back on ND and Revenge and if it is later, well we are prepared to wait.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Take as long as it needs, Mary - maybe Hilda wants you to have a break, too :wink:
We certainly don't want you to get any extra stress from us :roll:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Be kind to yourself Mary, and stop beating yourself up because Hilda has stopped talking to you for the moment!! I'm sure that she will do so eventually, and when she does so, you will be unable to resist her call. We will contain ourselves in patience in the meantime.
Author:  Luisa [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Amen to that!
Off to reread from the beginning.
Author:  clair [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary, it's just Hilda's way of getting you to take a break so try to relax and she'll come back when she thinks you're ready for her.
Take it easy and we'll all still be here waiting for the next installment no matter how long it takes
Author:  di [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Hear, hear! Please take your time and worry not about the next installments; we have an abundance of patience. :)
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary, it will work itself out in the end, and when the time is right for you, the story will be made clear. (((Mary)))
Author:  Tara [ Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Like Hilda, I've just realised it's 1.00am not twelve! Mary, love, I've just caught up with this after my long absence, and just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for the humour:
Quote:
She also found a terse note telling her that there were two hot water bottles in her bed and would she please join them in very short order!
(Wonderful Matey)
Thank you for the description of the closeness between Hilda and Nell:
Quote:
Before she had even spoken, her needs were being met. Then, Nell’s cool, logical mind would worry at the problem, Nell’s loving heart would ease the load, Nell’s sardonic humour would tease away the frown

Thank you for the sensitive exploration of Hilda's devastation:
Quote:
When kept in the San after Nell’s death, and the others thought she had achieved some kind of acceptance and had all opened up about their own sorrow, she had wanted to scream at them that they had no idea – that her grief was such that she felt maimed, cut in half; that life as she had known it was now impossible

Thank you for Hilda's wisdom and sensitivity to Ellie's real needs
Quote:
Hilda had to allow her to go on testing her fledgling wings against any buffeting winds that came her way. Only thus would they become powerful enough to allow her to soar upwards, to fly, to make her dreams become reality.

Hilda will come back, and until then, perhaps she'll go on telling you about some other bits of her life - we'd be delighted to share them!
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hilda will come back, and until then, perhaps she'll go on telling you about some other bits of her life - we'd be delighted to share them!

Hilda says thank you, Tara, and hopes Revenge will do for now as *other bits of her life*! :lol: I was going to wait until that drabble was done before re-starting posting here, but as it seems to be having a longer run than anticipated :twisted: I thought you might like a taste of this now and then, though this episode is by way of being simply nuts and bolts..... :roll:

Remember it is just over two weeks since term began and two days since Ellie hurt her hand.


Hilda floated back to consciousness and groaned. Would the little man with his hammer never take himself off? Why did the effects of a simple concussion have to last quite so long?

Because you insisted on returning to work far too soon, my girl! You’re your own worst enemy. I just hope you don’t have to learn the hard way.

The caustic words didn’t surprise her. Nell was her mind’s first port of call every morning when she awoke - and her very last before she slept each night. A wry smile on her lips, she leaned up on one elbow, switched on the light and saw it was nearly eight o’clock. She pummelled her pillows into submission and leaned back against them, mulling over the day ahead. The girls needed occupation as they would still be unable to go outside; the prefects needed a day off after their exertions the day before; Ellie needed companionship, if she were unable to join her peers….

Her quiet musings were cut short by a creaking sound. Turning her head she saw her ward’s tousled head appear round the edge of the bathroom door, bleary eyes peering her way.

Two years ago, after consultation with Madge and Nell, Hilda had made some alterations to her quarters. The idea of the privacy of the Annexe had always appealed to her, but she had soon realised that placing the study and office there had been a mistake. She and Rosalie were too cut off from the day to day routines of the school; they were hidden away instead of being available to the girls, as any good Head and secretary should be. How could they be available, when their part of the school was forbidden the girls, unless the latter had express permission? The whole thing was a contradiction in terms.

She had finally made her feelings known; and Madge had generously agreed to another change, working on the basis that her Headmistress knew what she was about. So Hilda and Rosalie had moved study and office back to the main entrance, and the Annexe study had been converted into a bedroom, her bedroom, with a connecting door into the Salon. Rosalie’s office had been converted into a guest bedroom-cum-sitting room, and a small section of each bedroom had been used to construct a bathroom, with doors into it from both rooms.

In this way, the whole of the ground floor of the Annexe had become one self-contained suite for Hilda, and she had had great fun decorating and furnishing the rooms. Her new bedroom was a place of peace and harmony, with a large picture window framing a beautiful view. Upstairs, her old bedroom had become another bed-sitting room, which Rosalie and Jeanne could use to entertain their guests when there were no visitors who needed it. One of the stock cupboards on the ground floor had been turned into a tiny kitchen, for use by all three inhabitants and by guests. The Annexe was now completely private, and very much off-limits to the girls.

For a while, after Nell’s death, this bedroom had become the recipient of her deepest, darkest despair and she had been glad to flee from it every morning. But then, on her very worst day, the day she had broken down completely, had come that dream about the earthquake and Nell, and she had woken to hear the still, small voice of Love Himself, and had seen the late afternoon sun casting its long, golden beams into the room, burnishing the carved wooden door of her wardrobe and intensifying the new and deep sense of peace that permeated the room. Her spirit had basked in that peace, feeling dreamily that angels could have danced in those sunbeams, heaven brought to earth, just for a few solemn moments.....

How could it be anything now but what it was - a hallowed place, where she could trace those happy memories, even through her tears: a hopeful place, filled with kind things from her past and her future, where her spirit could forge a new life.

One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering. (‘Persuasion’ – Austen)

The school had never been that. It had been her home for many years, along with Nell’s cottage, and she had been supremely happy here. Her companionship with Nell had ensured that. It was no longer home to her, but she still loved the place and the people. And though it no longer held Nell, it held someone else very dear.

She smiled tenderly now at that someone else. “Good morning, liebchen,” she murmured and held out a hand. Ellie quickly moved across the room and curled up on the bed close beside her beloved guardian......
Author:  Fi [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
It is wonderful to see more of this. That was a lovely moment of peace following the intensity of the previous evening.

MaryR wrote:
she had woken to hear the still, small voice of Love Himself, and had seen the late afternoon sun casting its long, golden beams into the room, burnishing the carved wooden door of her wardrobe and intensifying the new and deep sense of peace that permeated the room. Her spirit had basked in that peace, feeling dreamily that angels could have danced in those sunbeams, heaven brought to earth, just for a few solemn moments.....


That passage was magical Mary. Your writing is always able to conjure up the most beautiful pictures in my mind.

Thank You
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:51 pm ]
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So pleased to see this back, Mary, although I must confess to giggling at the mental image of Hilda thumping a pillow...
:lol: :lol:

And that makes perfect sense re the Study/Annexe. I could never work out whether EBD had given Miss A one study or two. Sometimes it sounded as if there was a proper School study and then a private one as well... ! Your way is nice and clear.
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:57 pm ]
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Thank you Mary. I am glad you let them both have a good nights sleep.

Quote:
“Good morning, liebchen,” she murmured and held out a hand. Ellie quickly moved across the room and curled up on the bed close beside her beloved guardian......


I am pleased they are going to comfort each other.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:03 pm ]
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MaryR wrote:
this episode is by way of being simply nuts and bolts


If this beautiful passage is 'nuts and bolts' then it ony goes to prove that even the scaffolding of your prose is made of pure gold :roll:

Thank you Mary
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:03 pm ]
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Lovely to see more of this Mary - like the new arrangements re the Study - make perfect sense.


Thank you.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:29 pm ]
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Even if Hilda's head and Ellie's hand continue to be painful, as no doubt they do, it's amazing what a difference that good night's sleep for them both will have made. Like Pauline, I'm glad the two of them are going to comfort each other - though I suspect that Matey will have her own ideas about just how much they can do - and it will NOT include spending time with the rest of the school!! I loved your description of how and why the arrangements of the Annexe were altered, too.

And I agree wholeheartedly with Abbeybufo's comment about the quality of your prose. As always, you carried me with you, from the image of the little man with his hammer beating in Hilda's skull to Ellie's climbing up onto the bed....

It's good to see this back, Mary - see, your patience in waiting for Hilda to talk to you again has indeed been rewarded. Thank you.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:47 pm ]
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Thanks Mary, that was lovely
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:05 am ]
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It's back ! Hooray ! :D :lol: :D
Thank you, Mary !
Author:  di [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:01 am ]
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Great to see you back with ND. Your writing never ceases to amaze me - even with 'nuts and bolts' you have this ability to transport readers in to your scenes. I should imagine Hilda's bedroom is very crowded at the moment :lol:
Many thanks, Mary.
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:23 am ]
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This is really lovely Mary - as usual!

Quote:
Nell was her mind’s first port of call every morning when she awoke - and her very last before she slept each night


How true that is.
Thanks
Fiona
Author:  Celia [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:33 pm ]
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A lovely new section, peaceful and evocative. Thank you Mary
Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:14 pm ]
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Thanks, Mary. That was a beautiful update.
Author:  Tara [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, Mary, I've found it (it hid from me last night)!
As usual, I love Nell's caustic comments, bringing everyone back down to earth, and I empathised with Hilda:
Quote:
Nell was her mind’s first port of call every morning when she awoke - and her very last before she slept each night.
I also love the description of the school as a place of happiness and peace for Hilda, despite the devastating grief she has known there. Lovely that these feelings are now resurfacing so strongly, even as she plans her day with such attention to everyone else's needs, as usual.

Thanks for sorting out the Annexe, it never made much sense, it's much better like this.
Enjoyed bleary-eyed Ellie coming for a snuggle. Aaaawh.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:30 am ]
Post subject: 
That was such a beautifully crafted piece, conveying exactly just what a refuge Hilda has made of her room - and how careful she is to emphasise that even if the school is no longer 'home' to her, 'she still loved the place and the people.' And that description of her room as
Quote:
a hallowed place, where she could trace those happy memories, even through her tears: a hopeful place, filled with kind things from her past and her future, where her spirit could forge a new life
is truly remarkable, as is the mention of the still small voice of Love Himself - no wonder Hilda loves this room, where she has mourned so terribly and yet received such love and comfort.

And I loved that careful description of how the annex was remodelled to serve the needs of Hilda and her staff.
Thank you Mary.
Author:  Sarah [ Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:25 pm ]
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Wow, Mary.
That was just beautiful - thank you!
Author:  MaryR [ Thu May 01, 2008 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Glad you liked the re-modelling. It needed doing as I made a mistake very early on, due to not having read all the later books then. But the Annexe never did make much sense to me, and this way Hilda gets to be near Ellie. :lol:

Hmmm, I hadn't realised this was so long.... :shock:


.....She smiled tenderly now at that dear person. “Good morning, liebchen,” she murmured and held out a hand. Her ward moved quickly across the room and curled up on the bed close beside her beloved guardian. Hilda looked down at her worriedly. “You look very tired and pale, Ellie. That hand still bothering you?”

Ellie laid her head on Hilda’s shoulder and sighed. “It’s not too bad now but it gave me much trouble during the night.”

“Then why didn’t you wake me, child?”

Ellie grimaced. “Matron came, to make sure I was asleep, and when she found me in pain she gave me some more tablets. She told me you needed your rest and said I wasn’t to wake you.”

Hilda was tempted to feel angry but, if she were honest with herself, she knew Gwynneth had been right. She had had a late night and two tiring and difficult days, and the coming day would be no better. “How does it feel now?” she asked.

Ellie shrugged. “It hurts, but not too much. Do not worry, Madame.”

Hilda chuckled, held her close. “I think you’re asking too much of me, petite, but I’ll try and do as you ask. I guess we’ll have to find something to take your mind off the pain.” As she spoke she became aware of an almost eerie silence everywhere. The storm had abated. “Has it stopped snowing, do you think?”

“Non, Madame. I looked out just now and could see nothing but white. It is like the world has disappeared. Will it ever stop, do you think?”

“Sometimes it can snow for days on end, I’m afraid, child. Tempers get frayed. One can’t go out, can’t even poke one’s nose out in case it freezes off, the lights are on all day long, and it becomes very claustrophobic. After two or three days, every moment can seem like an hour, every hour a day. The fidgets attack all of us. As for the Middles….” She laughed wryly. “Watch out! The prefects and the staff will have their hands full until the snow stops and we get some frost. Then, hopefully, the skiing will make up for it all.”

Ellie sighed again. “Not for me, Madame. My finger will not be healed soon, I think. I was really very silly, n’est-ce pas?”

Hilda dropped a kiss on the disconsolate face. “Never mind, child. There’ll be plenty of other opportunities, both this winter and next.”

Ellie looked up at her. “May I join the school today?”

Hilda considered. “I don’t think so, Ellie. Dr Jack said to keep you away from too many people this weekend, to protect that hand. And your performance last night didn’t help matters, for all we enjoyed it. It’s tired you out. Let’s see what Matron says, shall we?”

As if on cue, the door opened and Matey herself peeped in. She stopped dead when she saw the two figures curled up together. “I had been hoping you were both still asleep,” she muttered, closing the door behind her.

“Good morning to you too, Matron, dear,” murmured Hilda, her voice very dry, and Matey grinned unrepentantly. “I hope the girls slept the night through and gave you some peace.”

Matey approached the bed, scrutinised their faces. “There were one or two nightmares, but on the whole they were too tired for anything else.” She laughed suddenly. “We did have one rather amusing moment, though. Marianne Westwood spoke too soon yesterday evening. When the storm was at its fiercest, both Miss Derwent and I heard a strange noise, and when we went searching we found Marianne in one of the bathrooms. She’d climbed into the bath while still asleep and was banging on the wall for all she was worth, and shrieking, ‘Let me out! Let me out! The spiders are after me.’ So we let her out – of the bath!”

Hilda and Ellie gaped at her, and then both burst out laughing at the vision Matey had conjured up.

“Did she still have that abomination clutched to her side?” stuttered Hilda.

“Abomination is right!” muttered Matey. “No, but it was sitting on her pillow when we got her back, so I chucked it under the bed. Hopefully, it hasn’t woven any webs under there during the night. If it has, she can clean them up herself.”

“Are you going to tell her?” asked Hilda. When Matey nodded, she added with a giggle, “I shall have great fun pulling her leg over this. She’s changed so much I’m sure she’ll enjoy the joke. And we did warn her, after all.”

Matey surveyed the white face of her Headmistress and said sourly, “If I had my way you wouldn’t see her, not today anyway. The pair of you look so exhausted I should keep you in bed. You’re both all eyes, and look as though someone’s been using purple make-up on them, which tells me your head’s still bad and Ellie’s hand is still hurting.”

The smiles disappeared in unison, which for some reason tickled Matey, though her face revealed nothing.

“I’m fine, Gwynneth,” replied Hilda firmly. “No headache is going to keep me here when I need to sort out how to keep the inmates of the zoo occupied and out of mischief.”

“No doubt you did all your planning when you should have been sleeping, which explains the wan face, and you now need some time to fine-tune everything,” remarked Matey, backing down for the moment. Hilda nodded. “And I can’t even tempt you to breakfast in bed?”

“Certainly not! I need to get together with Ruth and organise a quiet hour this morning for the girls and staff, as there’s no church. Then there’s the rest of the day to be filled in some way. I’m needed, Gwynneth,” she said soberly.

“Fine, I’ll let you off for now,” retorted Matey acidly, “but I’ll most definitely see you later. As for you, young lady…”

Ellie tried to out-face the school bully. “May I not also go into Früstück, like Madame?”

Two pairs of gimlets bore into her and she subsided, beaten. Hilda hugged her close, trying hard not to laugh. It didn’t seem fair – two of them against the poor girl.

Matey had no such qualms. “That hand would be knocked every which way in the scrum. Please don’t glare at my slang, Miss Annersley! We’re both off-duty in here, and Ellie won’t snitch!” Hilda spluttered, but Matey carried on relentlessly, “Back to bed with you, my girl, and let Madame get dressed. She’ll come and see you before she goes to work.”

Looking thoroughly disgruntled, Ellie scrambled off the bed and trailed miserably through the bathroom door, much to the two women’s wry amusement.

“Keep her in bed this morning, Gwynneth,” whispered Hilda urgently. “I don’t want her there during the quiet hour. I’m hoping to do something about the bullying, in a roundabout sort of way, if I can.”

Matey nodded. “Good. I hope it works. Don’t worry – I intend to keep her out of harm’s way for most of the morning, at least. Maybe she could spend the afternoon quietly with you, if I can persuade you to rest. The school doesn’t need you all day!”

Hilda got out of bed and squeezed Matey’s arm gratefully. “We’ll see. Don’t worry about me, Gwynneth. You know I’m used to coping with headaches. In fact, I suspect a cup of coffee and something to eat may be all it needs.”

She glanced at the floor, where she vaguely remembered her clothes falling the night before. A puzzled frown creased her forehead. Where on earth were they?

Matey snorted. “I picked them up when I peeped in during the night. Nice example for the girl to follow, I must say, and you such a stickler about a place for everything and everything in its place!”

Hilda gaped at her, and Matey barked with laughter before disappearing through the door after Ellie.

Hilda shook her head and smiled a slow, teasing smile as she raised her mellow voice, so it would be heard in the other room. “Lady Constance looks on me as a sort of cross between a leper and a nosegay of deadly nightshade. (PG Wodehouse)”

Another bark sounded and words floated back to her. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Deadly nightshade, hm? There’s a nickname will bring you to heel when you won’t do as you’re told!”

Hilda shook her head, muttering grumpily, “Me and my big mouth! Should’ve known better!”

But a huge grin illuminated her wan features as she slipped into her clothes.....
Author:  Karry [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely, Mary!
Author:  clair [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was wonderful Mary, the relationship between Hilda and Gwynneth is fabulous - such a close friendship that neither of them had realised existed before.

Thank you
Author:  Lisa_T [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, I love this. So many nice bits!

...the closeness between Ellie and Hilda
...Hilda's honesty with herself re needing the rest
...I love, love the description of snow "'..it is like the world has disappeared'".. Perfect!
...and of course the lovely interaction between Matey and Hilda, and Matey's acknowledgement that they're all 'off-duty' and thus slang is ok! :rofl:

...and as for Deadly Nightshade... :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh but that was lovely, Mary, and just the right tonic when I turned this on after a hectic few hours' errands - would someone please tell me why everything seems to take twice as long as it should, or even as it used to do? (end of rhetorical complaint)

Seriously, there is so much that is lovely there, from that gentle interlude between Ellie and Hilda through Gwynneth's reaction when she found the two of them together, to say nothing of her graceful 'backing down' when she found Hilda determined to get up and organise things for the school despite anything she could say to dissuade her. Ellie's reaction to the 'two gimlet glares' had me laughing out loud, as did And the lovely comic bit when Hilda found Gwynneth had picked up after her!!! As for Marianne's experience.......!!

I hope, though, that Hilda will indeed accept the compromise of resting quietly back in her rooms, with only Ellie for company - I'm sure it would be just what any doctor would order, and would certainly satisfy Gwynneth.

Thanks Mary, for another 'fly on the wall' opportunity - and not one to be caught by Marianne's infamous spider, either.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
(please could a kind Mod delete this duplicate post - thanks!)

Oh but that was lovely, Mary, and just the right tonic when I turned this on after a hectic few hours' errands - would someone please tell me why everything seems to take twice as long as it should, or even as it used to do? (end of rhetorical complaint)

Seriously, there is so much that is lovely there, from that gentle interlude between Ellie and Hilda through Gwynneth's reaction when she found the two of them together, to say nothing of her graceful 'backing down' when she found Hilda determined to get up and organise things for the school despite anything she could say to dissuade her. Ellie's reaction to the 'two gimlet glares' had me laughing out loud, as did And the lovely comic bit when Hilda found Gwynneth had picked up after her!!! As for Marianne's experience.......!!

I hope, though, that Hilda will indeed accept the compromise of resting quietly back in her rooms, with only Ellie for company - I'm sure it would be just what any doctor would order, and would certainly satisfy Gwynneth.

Thanks Mary, for another 'fly on the wall' opportunity - and not one to be caught by Marianne's infamous spider, either.
Author:  Lesley [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:22 pm ]
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Lovely Mary - thank you.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary - that was beautiful
Author:  Celia [ Thu May 01, 2008 8:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary for another piece full of different emotions. Your
writing makes one feel a part of all that is taking place.
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu May 01, 2008 9:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary Thank you for a lovely update with all three bouncing comments off each other and the deep friendship growing between them all.
Author:  linda [ Thu May 01, 2008 9:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yipee! Two posts to read after a very hectic few days when my feet have hardly hit the ground.

Mary, I love the banter between Hilda and Matey – Deadly nightshade indeed!!!! I love the description of the layout of the Annexe too. It seems just right to me.

Quote:
How could it be anything now but what it was - a hallowed place, where she could trace those happy memories, even through her tears: a hopeful place, filled with kind things from her past and her future, where her spirit could forge a new life.


That’s a wonderful description of the place which is Hilda’s refuge and strength. Where she has been at her lowest ebb, yet where she is able tofind the strength to face the future.

Matey was quite right to be worried about both Hilda and Ellie and even if Hilda is able to overrule her, at least Ellie will get some more rest.

Thank you so much for giving us more of this, Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Thu May 01, 2008 10:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Seconds everything said above - especially the rugby scrum!
I'm looking forward to seeing how the bullying is tackled - just possibly a few schools round here could take lessons. : :twisted:
Author:  Elbee [ Thu May 01, 2008 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely banter between the three of them.

Thanks Mary.
Author:  Tara [ Thu May 01, 2008 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
It doesn't sound to me as if Matey herself got all that much sleep, actually, what with checking on Ellie and Hilda and sorting out nightmaring pupils! Poor Marianne, I'm not surprised the spider preyed on her mind, though she won't live that incident down for a while :D .

Smiled at Matey picking up after Hilda, and will be very interested to see how Hilda intends to tackle the bullying. She does need to do that, but perhaps some of the rest of the staff could think up occupations for their bored, shut-in charges without her having to run herself into the ground!

Thank you, Mary, lovely interaction amongst the three of them.
Author:  di [ Fri May 02, 2008 7:03 am ]
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You're spoiing us, Mary!- Please keep on doing so. :) Good old Matey, they'll never get the better of her. I hope Hilda can sort the bullying out today. I shall be interested in how she goes about it.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri May 02, 2008 1:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is so representational of what makes ND such an immensely satisfying and beautifully realised world. The friendship between Hilda and Gwynneth that is so strongly rooted in their knowledge of one another . . . the love that Hilda has for Ellie (and vice-versa) that can be seen in their care of and affection for one another . . . Hilda's careful thought for the girls and how they are affected by their environment.....the evocation of that quiet isolated world defoned by the relentlessly falling snow. It's all so beautifully rounded and precisedly depicted Mary.

And thank you for the Wodehouse quote - I don't know much of his work (it's been years since I've read any), but that quote really made me laugh.... :lol:
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Fri May 02, 2008 10:04 pm ]
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The Deadly Nightshade is simply priceless :lol:
Author:  MaryR [ Sun May 04, 2008 7:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
I quote from today's Sunday Telegraph magazine: 'This season it's all about clever asymetric pleats and layers - think origami, only for clothes.' :lol: Is Vivien still around, and now devoting her talents to fashion instead of girls? :shock:

....Hilda shook her head, muttering grumpily, “Me and my big mouth! Should’ve known better!” But a huge grin illuminated her wan features as she slipped into her clothes.

Having done her hair and made sure all was straight and true, she walked through to the other bedroom to kiss Ellie and glare icily at Matey, who simply winked back, leaving Hilda mentally gnashing her teeth as she made her way to the Speisesaal.

After Grace was said, there was a good deal of amused conversation among the staff about the concert, and some laughter when Ruth Derwent recounted the tale of Marianne and the bathroom. Hilda herself said little, but she did find, as she had said to Matey, that coffee and some food had eased her headache. She finished doing her thinking about the day and leaned forward to speak to Jeanne de Lachennais.

“If I take the Protestants for a quiet hour this morning, Jeanne, would you be willing to do the same for the Catholics?”

“But, of course, Hilda, ma chère,” smiled Jeanne. “Just let me know what theme you wish to take.”

Before Hilda could reply, Ruth Derwent spoke up. “How would it be if I took the Catholics from the lower forms, Jeanne? If you have the Seniors and Senior Middles and I see to the Lower Middles and Juniors, we could give Sharlie a much-needed break from at least some of her litte darlings.”

Tiny Sharlie Andrews leapt at the suggestion. “Ruth, how kind of you! What a treat!”

“But you did have all your little darlings to entertain last night while we took our ease at the concert,” cried Ruth. “It seems only fair!”

Rosalind Moore spluttered. “Take your ease? Wielding those bellows? You were lucky you weren’t lynched by the Seniors sitting there. I half-expected to see you and Vivien being chased from the Hall, girls in hot pursuit and spiders being lobbed your way!”

More splutters followed as they recalled the dramatic reaction from the Sixth form, but Ruth merely winked at Vivien across the table and carried on eating.

“Merci, ma chère Ruth,” said Jeanne. “That means we can tailor the hour to suit the different ages much more precisely.”

Vivien waited a moment or two, looked around and then cleared her throat. “Would you like me to do the same for you, Hilda? That’s, of course, if no one else….”

Her words trailed away. Hilda wasn’t looking her way, didn’t even appear to have heard her. Her eyes were resting on Kathie Ferrars. There was a peaceable expression on her face, but those far-seeing eyes were keen, expectant. Vivien was stunned to see Kathie’s cheeks stain crimson as she returned Hilda’s look before swallowing nervously.

“It’s alright, Vivien,” she murmured. “I’ll take the lower school myself. I must do something to earn my keep while I’m here.”

The two women’s eyes were still locked on each other. Hilda’s voice was very quiet when she spoke. “Thank you for letting Vivien off, Kathie. She worked very hard for her bread and butter yesterday with the girls and deserves a rest.” This time it was Vivien who blushed at the warmth in Hilda’s eyes as they swivelled her way.

Hilda turned back to Kathie. “The girls will rejoice to have you back full-time, my dear. They miss you very much, especially out of lessons. You always had a very good relationship with them and found the fun in everything. It’s a pity we can’t split you in two and keep one half over here for their continued delectation.”

Her eyes reflected her gratitude and her voice was very gentle. Kathie caught her breath in surprise and found herself amply rewarded for the words she had spoken to Hilda the night before. Words that held a great deal of truth, as her Headmistress had just ably demonstrated.

With a nod to Kathie, Hilda looked at Sharlie with a grin. “And that means you can indeed take your ease for a while, Sharlie. You’ve earned it,” she said warmly.

Before her younger colleague could thank her, Hilda wiped her mouth on her napkin, tapped her little bell, then rose to her feet. Silence fell and all heads turned her way. She smiled round at them all, that sunny smile that lit up her whole face, and immediately smiles broke out all round the room.

“That’s better. Cheer up, do! The snow will stop some time and you will get out there to enjoy it, I promise you. Nothing lasts forever!” More smiles ran round the room. “It’s very nearly half past nine now, girls, so when you’ve finished here, I would like you to see to your dormitory work, then wait in your common-rooms until ten o’clock. At that time, we will have a quiet hour together, since we can’t get over to church. The Senior and Senior Middle Catholics will go to their usual place for Prayers, as will the Senior and Senior Middle Protestants. As for the Lower School and Juniors – the Catholics will go to Lower IVB’s form room and the screen will be pushed back so you have the adjoining form-room as well. The Protestants will do the same in Upper IIIA. Will you please bring with you your Bibles and scribbling blocks, plus writing and colouring implements?”

She paused to allow her words to be assimilated. “After that, you will have your usual mid-morning drink and entertain yourselves in your common-rooms until Mitagessen, which will be at half past twelve today. I’ll let you know, then, what the arrangements are for the afternoon, since we appear to be mired inside the house for the duration. Any questions? No? Thank you, girls, and I’ll speak to you again later.”

She sat down and the hum of conversation resumed. She looked round the table. “If you three meet me in the study immediately after you’ve done your own tidying, we can discuss what we’re going to do with them. The rest of you will be very welcome to our little services, but feel free to sit quietly elsewhere and pray in your own way, if that is your wish. There is no constraint on you to be present. But if all those staff who are on duty this weekend would come to the Salon for coffee when the girls have theirs, we’ll discuss contingency plans for this afternoon. And, if any of you who are free should wish to help entertain the troops later on, well, the more the merrier.”

She glanced round, saw everyone was finished and rose to say Grace, leaving Vivien and many another gasping at her organisational skills and forward planning. Hilda said the Latin Grace, all unaware. To her, that sort of thing was the nuts and bolts of her job, the easiest part, requiring no special skills other than a wealth of past experience and a little forethought.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun May 04, 2008 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely Mary :D

Especially enjoyed the little glimpse into other people's marvelling at Hilda's experience/organisational skills :lol:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun May 04, 2008 7:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely indeed - and once again proof of the fact that Hilda, headache or no headache, makes organizing the school's activities look as easy as falling off a log!! A very good idea to divide the girls up into age groups, too.

It's equally lovely to see Kathie Ferrars' attitude - clearly she means what she said last night, and is so much happier than we have seen her in recent months; I do hope that will continue. Certainly she will be heartened by the reception the girls are sure to give her. And I don't mind betting that most of the other staff members will show up at one or other of these gatherings.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  linda [ Sun May 04, 2008 8:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda's organisational skills are phenomenal. I could do with her to come and organise me - I'm sure I would be able to get more done.

Elder in Ontario wrote:
It's equally lovely to see Kathie Ferrars' attitude - clearly she means what she said last night, and is so much happier than we have seen her in recent months; I do hope that will continue. Certainly she will be heartened by the reception the girls are sure to give her.


I agree totally with Elder. I do hope that this means that one of Hilda's problems is on the way to being resolved.

I'll be interested to be allowed to listen to Hilda's quiet hour with the Seniors and Senior Middles later. I wonder what her theme will be

Thank you Mary for another lovely post.
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun May 04, 2008 8:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary. a lovely suprise this Sunday evening. Good for Hilda to use her past experience to plan for a housebound day. What an example for Kathy to have to live up to in the future. Glad Kathy is going to take one of the services to gain practice.
Author:  Lesley [ Sun May 04, 2008 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Is Meg Protestant? If so I wonder exactly what Hilda's theme will be.


Many thanks Mary - that was a perfect, gentle post.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sun May 04, 2008 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
As Lesley says, a perfect, gentle post. A lovely leadup for what I'm sure will be a classic CS 'gentle Sunday' even if some people find themselves doing some hard thinking!!

So many things to like...
-easy interaction between the staff
-the tension between Hilda and Kathie and the relief when Kathie plays up
-the quintessentially Hilda way of addressing the school
-the fact that the staff may choose how to worship
-the amazement at Hilda's organisational skills

(although I'm not sure, but I think Ruth Derwent was C of E not RC?)

Thanks, Mary. A treat as always.
Author:  Fi [ Sun May 04, 2008 10:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's lovely to see Kathie feeling happier with life at the moment. I hope this will continue but I have a feeling that this peace between Kathie and Hilda is a lull before a big dramatic climax to the situation.

Thank You Mary.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Mon May 05, 2008 3:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Good for Kathie. :)

Hope Hilda gets through the day without too much pain.... Amazing what she can do on autopilot!

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Mon May 05, 2008 9:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Sian heaves a deep sigh of satisfaction at this episode !

Thank you, Mary !
Author:  di [ Mon May 05, 2008 10:01 am ]
Post subject: 
A time for those with guilty consciences to reflect! Oh, clever Hilda, to use the routine of Sunday's to start the process of dealing with bullies and truculant staff. Already Kathie is beginning to make amends and hopefully, Hilda will build on this.
Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon May 05, 2008 1:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
A lovely little insight into the way in which Hilda makes arrangements which will benefit everyone. Admittedly this is not an unusual situation, but Hilda so obviously seeks cooperation, rather than issuing orders - even in the case of Kathie, who has previously shown that she can and does resist Hilda's requests. And Hilda's approach can clearly be seen in the way in which the rest of the staff work together.

Hopefully, this will be a 'gentle' Sunday.

Thank you Mary.
Author:  dackel [ Mon May 05, 2008 1:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love the interaction between individual staff members - hopefully Kathy is now on the right path again. it would certainly make Hilda's and Nancy's lives a lot easier.

I hope Hilda manages to get through to Meg in her quiet time.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Celia [ Mon May 05, 2008 6:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
As others have said , a lovely gentle post, and possibly the start of a
typical gentle CS Sunday. I'm sure Hilda will deal faithfully with Meg,
but have doubts whether Kathie is quite back to where we would want her to be yet :roll:
Author:  clair [ Mon May 05, 2008 7:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely to see Kathie on the right path again, let's just hope she's able to stay there this time otherwise she's likely to lose everything that matters to her
Love the way Hilda sees this as so basic a part of her duties whilst all the others are impressed
Thank you Mary
Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Mon May 05, 2008 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
A 'Gentle Sunday'! How wonderful! And If only I had my own Hilda to arrange such things for me every now and again... Thanks for this, Mary, you take my breath away once again.
Author:  MaryR [ Thu May 08, 2008 12:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cath V-P wrote:
Hopefully, this will be a 'gentle' Sunday.

It may start out that way, Cath, but.... :cry:

....She glanced round, saw everyone was finished and rose to say Grace, leaving Vivien and many another gasping at her organisational skills and forward planning. Hilda said the Latin Grace, all unaware. To her, that sort of thing was the nuts and bolts of her job, the easiest part, requiring no special skills other than a wealth of past experience and a little forethought.

While the three Senior staff repaired quickly to their rooms to make beds and tidy up, Hilda used the time to look in on Ellie. She found her tucked back up in bed, empty tray on the floor, looking very sorry for herself. Hilda settled beside her.

“Lonely, ma mie?” Ellie nodded. “Would a visit from Miss Knowles help?” Ellie nodded again, eyes brightening considerably. “Well… she did work very hard yesterday and I wanted her to have a little rest this morning, but I’ll see what I can do. Then I’ll come back about eleven and have coffee with you, after I’ve conducted a little prayer service with the girls. Meanwhile, would you like your notebooks and pencils? Your folders are in the Salon, I know, and you’ve got some reading matter by you – what about your pens and colours?”

“I keep them in my cubi drawers – but I can’t expect my Headmistress to keep fetching and carrying for me.”

Ellie’s eyes looked troubled but Hilda tapped her smartly on the nose. “You can if she’s also your guardian. You’re a wounded soldier, don’t forget! Hang on, child – I won’t be long!”

She went first to the Salon and retrieved the notebooks and folders, taking them in to Ellie. She then repaired to Vivien’s room, and made her request. “I’m sorry to ask even more of you Vivien, but she looks so lonely there all by herself.”

“Hilda, stop worrying,” Vivien said gently. “I’m touched that you would think I could help. I told you, I’m willing to do anything, anything at all, for her or for you. It’s not a chore, I promise. And if Gwynneth is about to hurt Ellie, maybe I should have something in reserve to distract her. Hmmm - let me think. Tell her I’ll be along shortly. I know you’re busy so I won’t keep you.”

Controlling her tears with difficulty, Hilda went quickly to Ellie’s dormitory, found what was needed and was returning at top speed to her suite of rooms, arms laden, when she bumped into Matey.

“Ah, Miss Deadly Nightshade! Just the woman!” said Matey. Her sharp eyes scanned Hilda’s outraged face. “You look a little less fragile, I must say. Perhaps I should stop worrying about you so much. I gather from the others you’re going to be occupied for most of the morning. Good! Because Jack Maynard's been on the phone and wants me to take a look at Ellie’s finger, since he can’t get here to do it himself.”

Hilda looked shocked. “Can’t you do it later when I’m free to be with her, Gwynneth?”

“Decidedly not!” Matey retorted fiercely. “She’ll be better without you. I don’t want you fussing and clucking like a mother hen and getting upset. Yes, I know your famous iron will, but it doesn’t work where Ellie’s concerned, does it? So best leave us alone to get on with the job.”

Hilda stared at her, fighting her longing to be there for Ellie. Then she recalled the night in the San when Helen Graves had inspected her injured feet after the accident and how the pain had forced her into a complete breakdown in Mother Abbess’s arms. In the presence of her friend, she had lost all self-control and her defences had melted away. She knew Matey was right. If Madame were there Ellie would do the same, and Madame herself would hurt for her ward’s pain.

“Am I such a coward, Gwynneth?” she murmured, but Matey shook her head vigorously. “Vivien’s coming to be with her shortly. Could she….?”

“Sure. She’s good for Ellie…. Tsk! Please don’t look like that, love. I didn’t mean anything by it. You’re the best as far as Ellie is concerned – but not when I’m going to cause her pain. She’ll hate breaking down in front of you but she wouldn’t be able to help herself, any more than you would. You care too much to remain impassive. So go pray with the girls, which is one of your great strengths, and leave her to those who can harden their hearts a little.”

She saw how guilty Hilda looked, and touched her arm fleetingly before going on her way. “And don’t warn her,” she suddenly turned and added. “Or she’ll be a quivering wreck! Nothing worse than having to wait for something you know will hurt.”

Hilda stared after her, biting her lip, but then straightened her shoulders, roundly scolded herself, and finally reached Ellie. She deposited the contents of her arms on the bed.

“Here are your pens and pencils, liebchen, and you’ve got your notebooks. If you get fed up, try these books or this game of solitaire I’ve included. Miss Knowles will be along in a little while, she said. I’ll try and be back by eleven and we can plan this afternoon – because I have a feeling that, once I’ve sorted out the girls for the day, Matron is going to demand that I rest. So, cheer up, ma fille! Nothing lasts forever, as I’ve just told the others.”

Longing to stay and comfort, she bent to kiss her ward before departing swiftly, leaving a much brighter girl behind her. When she entered her study, she found the three mistresses waiting, Bibles and scribbling blocks to hand. Hilda settled behind her desk, opened her own Bible and glanced at the notes she had made the day before, anticipating this moment....
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Thu May 08, 2008 12:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Hilda !
There is nothing worse than seeing or knowing that pain inflicted on those you love, even if the pain is a necessary evil :cry:
Ellie will cope much better without her there, though.....
Author:  Luisa [ Thu May 08, 2008 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well done Matey - the last person Ellie would need as opposed to want at that time would be Hilda.
I wonder what text Hilda is going to choose for her homily? There's something to ponder....
Author:  Lisa_T [ Thu May 08, 2008 12:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Love the line about Hilda fetching and carrying! :lol: :lol: Also Matey's 'Miss Deadly Nightshade' and Hilda's expression.

The whole conversation between Matey and Hilda is lovely, as are the snippets with Vivien and Ellie herself.

I'm rather worried by the hint that the 'gentle Sunday' will not materialise...
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu May 08, 2008 1:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I really enjoyed the exchange between Hilda and Gwynneth - and the latter is absolutely right in her insistence that Hilda not be there when Ellie's dressings are changed, and the reasons for her insistence. As always, there's little which escapes her, especially where Hilda is concerned. It's good to see how Vivien immediately agrees to spend time with Ellie, and I'm sure she will help the girl withstand the pain which Gwynneth cannot help inflicting. As for the exchange between Ellie and Hilda about the latter's 'fetching and carrying' - that is just lovely and once again shows the strength of the love between them.

But I do wonder about the hints that this day will not be as 'gentle' as first appears.

Thanks as always, Mary.
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu May 08, 2008 1:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
((Thank You Mary))

Quote:
Hilda, stop worrying,” Vivien said gently. “I’m touched that you would think I could help. I told you, I’m willing to do anything, anything at all, for her or for you. It’s not a chore, I promise. And if Gwynneth is about to hurt Ellie, maybe I should have something in reserve to distract her. Hmmm - let me think. Tell her I’ll be along shortly. I know you’re busy so I won’t keep you.”


Glad Vivien is prepared and will be distractor for Ellie and prevent her dwelling on the pain Matron will cause.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu May 08, 2008 2:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Vivien is the best person to be with Ellie while Matron re-dresses her hand - love the thought of Hilda 'fetching and carrying' for her 'wounded soldier'

Thanks Mary
Author:  Celia [ Thu May 08, 2008 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda,Gwyneth, and Vivien are all so lovely here Mary.All concerned for
Ellie,and for each other. Watching someone you love suffer is so very
hard. Hilda will be much better occupied with her"little Prayer service"
(and dealing with Meg?? )until elevenses time.

Thank you Mary
Author:  Rosalin [ Thu May 08, 2008 5:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just done a mammoth catch-up and had a peaceful afternoon losing myself in this world.

Thank-you Mary.
Author:  leahbelle [ Thu May 08, 2008 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I spent a quiet afternoon at work catching up on the last few updates. What more could a person want?! Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Lesley [ Thu May 08, 2008 8:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh lovely - love the fetching and carrying - and waiting with bated breath to see how Hilda tackles the bullying. :wink:


Thanks Mary :lol:
Author:  linda [ Thu May 08, 2008 11:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
Quote:
“I keep them in my cubi drawers – but I can’t expect my Headmistress to keep fetching and carrying for me.”


No, Ellie, but of course your guardian wants to do all she can to help!

Vivienne will be very good for Ellie and I am sure that she will find something to take Ellie's mind off the pain of having her finger dressed.

I love Matey's 'Miss Deadly Nightshade' too! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Now, just what is Hilda going to suggest as the text for prayers?

Thank you Mary.
Author:  Tara [ Thu May 08, 2008 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely to see the staff all working together and being so considerate of one another - and especially good to see Kathie's change in attitude, and Hilda's instant response, strengthening and confirming it. And I loved how Hilda's smile generated answering ones from so many of the girls.

I'll be very interested to see how Hilda deals with the bullying issue and she's right, of course, that's much harder than the 'nuts and bolts' organisation required to get the girls through the day. She wouldn't be Head if she didn't have good organisational skills, but it's never quite possible to anticipate how someone willl respond to attempts to encourage them to behave differently.

It's a shame that Ellie hasn't been there long enough to have strong friendships amongst the girls. Wonderful as the staff are, it would be nice for her to have company of her own age.

Now going away to keep myself awake wondering what on earth is going to happen to 'un-peace' the day!
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri May 09, 2008 2:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
They are all so supportive of Hilda aren't they? And it shows in the way that they are always thinking of how best to help and assist her.
I'm not surprised that Matey doesn't want her there when Ellie has to have her hand attended to - watching your child in pain is so hard and Hilda would find it almost impossibly difficult; Vivian will be able to distract Ellie - and Ellie herself won't feel the need to protect Hilda from her own pain.

But your opening sentence has me worried Mary. Oh dear....
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri May 09, 2008 3:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely to have two updates! Glad Kathie decided to offer to lead the service and become a little more like the Kathie of old. And Matey was so right in her assessment of Ellie and Hilda. Both would fall to pieces, Ellie especially cos she knows she can.

Thanks Mary
Author:  di [ Fri May 09, 2008 5:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the double update, Mary. I hope Matey doesn't cause Ellie too much pain; I'm sure having Vivien there will help.
I wonder how the day will go -there'll surely be serious things for Kathie to ponder upon and the bullies to sort out. I don't envy Hilda her tasks today!
Author:  MaryR [ Mon May 12, 2008 9:57 am ]
Post subject: 
di wrote:
I wonder how the day will go -there'll surely be serious things for Kathie to ponder upon....

Indeed, Di..... :wink:

Apologies for the length of this! :roll:


....When Hilda entered her study, she found the three mistresses waiting, Bibles and scribbling blocks to hand. She settled behind her desk, opened her own Bible and glanced at the notes she had made the day before, anticipating this moment.

“I thought we might take the theme of jealousy this morning,” she said quietly, and if she heard Kathie’s stifled gasp she gave no sign. “We’ll look at the story of The Prodigal Son – but from the point of view of the older son, not the younger. He was insanely jealous of his brother, who had wasted all his inheritance, and yet came home to a hero’s welcome from his father. The older son was full of resentment at the love poured so lavishly on the *wastrel* by his father… the killing of the fatted calf, the new clothes, the feast, everything.”

Ruth was staring down at the pages of her Bible. “Do you know, I’ve never given a thought to the elder son before – certainly hadn’t realised just what his sin was. One tends only to see the love of the father for the silly younger son.”

Hilda smiled. “Yes, the younger son sinned, but the older one did too, with his hardness of heart. He didn’t understand that he already had what was most important - his father’s love. He wanted proof of it, he wanted to be given the same as his younger brother, as proof that he was loved too. He didn’t understand that he had always been loved. His father said to him, “You are always with me and all I have is yours.” Somehow that love from his father wasn’t enough for him because he had no real and genuine love for his father or for his brother. He wanted more – but what more was there? Jealousy is insatiable through its lack of love, its refusal to be satisfied, its neediness. It causes far more damage than the selfish ways of the younger son.”

Silence fell in the study as the other three women heard something very heartfelt about her words. Hilda sensed it and looked up from her Bible. Her keen eyes rested for a long moment on each of them and Kathie felt herself squirm when it was her turn, and yet there had been nothing condemnatory in the glance.

“You may be wondering why I’ve chosen this particular topic, and why the older son in particular, a personage we ignore most of the time…..” Hilda paused and took a deep breath, then stated baldly, “There’s bullying going on in the school, and I’m almost certain it’s due to Shakespeare’s green-eyed monster.”

They gasped, Kathie in particular. She had had a shrewd suspicion that Hilda had chosen this subject because of their discussion the other day, but now she saw that she had done her Headmistress a dis-service, that Hilda would never have tried to teach her colleague a lesson in such a way. There was very real anxiety in Hilda’s eyes.

“Who…?” asked Ruth in dismay.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it, Ruth?” asked Hilda, quietly. “Bullying is bullying, whoever is doing it, and should not be going on if we ourselves are doing our job correctly. But, if you can keep this to yourselves – we’re all Senior staff here and no one else needs to know – it’s Ellie who’s being bullied. I should have thought about it before I brought her here, should have warned her, but I allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security because she was going into the Sixth and because it’s the last thing I expected from our girls. That was very naïve of me. I should have remembered, for example, what happened to Bride Bettany years ago….”

“But, Hilda, chérie,” interrupted Jeanne gently, “you mustn’t blame yourself like this. Yes, you’re Headmistress, but to be jealous of Ellie for being your ward is an.... an idiocy. You care so much for all of them. I know girls in particular are prone to such feelings, however, and can be very sly and secretive in the way they hurt each other.”

“True, Jeanne,” responded Hilda softly, “but not often with quite such dramatic results. Ellie’s accident two days ago was somehow due to this girl’s behaviour. It’s done immense damage to Ellie’s spirit. I know who she is, but I can’t punish her because Ellie hasn’t actually complained or made a report. She’s too frightened – and too worried about me.” There was angry murmuring from the others. “But – and it’s a big but – I’m quite sure it goes on in small ways throughout the school, that we have girls who are often made quite miserable, and for the same reason. They don’t tell us for lots of different reasons. We humans are very quick to hurt others and bullies can be very clever. So let’s be clever ourselves and try to make them do some hard thinking.”

She turned the pages of her Bible. “I thought that after looking at the story we could take Paul’s words to the Corinthians on what love is. Jealousy is, above all, a lack of love. We could discuss the ideas with them, and then allow them to write the passage out, but substituting their own name for the word Love. So we would have, for example: Jeanne is patient, Kathie is kind, Ruth does not envy and ….”

She was stunned to hear Kathie pick up her words and softly continue the passage. “Hilda does not boast, Hilda is not proud. Hilda is not rude, Hilda is not self-seeking, Hilda is not easily angered, Hilda keeps no record of wrongs. Hilda does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Hilda always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Her eyes were intense and Hilda read the message there, but she shook her head. “I’m glad you didn’t put my name to the next line, Kathie: “Love never fails. I’m afraid I fail all too often.”

Her voice was husky and the other women were quick to deny her words, but she re-gained her self-control and spoke more firmly. “It’s nearly time to go, but I’ve had Rosalie cut up some card and thought they could each make a small plaque of the words and decorate it, then use it as a bookmark or something to remind themselves occasionally what God requires of us. Perhaps they could illustrate it with figures from the parable. Unless any of you have other ideas?”

Hilda looked round but they shook their heads. She had been comprehensive, as always. She rose to her feet and handed each of them a stack of the small cards she had ready on her desk, and they turned to the door.

“Kathie, could I see you a minute before you go?” Hilda said quietly. When the door closed behind the other two she drew the younger woman over to the couch. “My dear, I have no idea what prompted you to speak as you did, but you really mustn’t make me out to be something I’m not, and most emphatically not when other people are present. At least last night we were alone when you spoke.”

Kathie went pink, but held her gaze steady. “But why not? I was very rude to you when other people were present, wasn’t I? So maybe this needed to be said in front of them as well. It just…. flew out of me. And it was all true. I know no one is like that all the time, but you come close, Hilda. However, I promise not to embarrass you again,” she finished softly.

But you can’t promise you won’t savage me again some time in the future, thought Hilda sadly, nor can you promise you won’t be jealous of Ellie and Vivien – or Nancy. She sighed inwardly but put it to one side.

“What I wanted to ask, first of all, my dear, was whether we could also count on your help with whatever is planned for this afternoon and evening, to keep the troops happy?”

“Of course,”replied Kathie. “Anything at all! I should have volunteered straightaway when Ruth did. I am a deputy head after all. I’m truly sorry about that. Maybe I could also do some coaching while I’m stuck here, as well as the lessons I usually take.”

“That would be splendid of you, though I fear you’ll also be roped in to cover some of Nancy’s lessons. I’m sure you can cope with those after a term spent with the older girls across there.” Hilda’s voice was warm but Kathie felt herself being scrutinised and waited rather tensely. “Kathie, relax! I promise you my choice of topic for this quiet hour had nothing to do with you. I wasn’t even aware you were going to be taking the girls, was I, until Ruth volunteered? Ellie is being bullied in a particularly nasty way and I want it stopped, without my intervention, if that is possible, and I’m praying this discussion will help.”

Hilda’s eyes were soft, and her voice was equally soft as she added slowly, “Although I hope it will help you as well, Kathie; clarify your feelings, perhaps. You’ve admitted to me that you’re envious of others around me. That’s unlike you, for you’ve always been loving and giving, a child born on the Sabbath day."

Kathie listened in stunned surprise as Hilda, yet again, took her apart and raised her up, all at the same time. Hilda reached out and took Kathie's hand, as though to reinforce her words.

"I have assured you, and will go on assuring you, that you have absolutely no need to envy anyone. Like the younger son in the parable, you’ve had so many gifts lavished on you. You are multi-talented and sensitive to others and very much loved by everyone. Most especially are you loved by Nancy. You will soon be a Headmistress - another gift, for you are still inexperienced in leading a school. Make all that be enough, Kathie, I beg you.”
Author:  Luisa [ Mon May 12, 2008 10:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Just to say - thank you. A post that needs reading several times and taking to heart before one can really comment.
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon May 12, 2008 12:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary, an unexpected delight this morning. Hilda's care and concern for all is so evident here. Her dealings with Kathy show compassion and concern, I hope they help Kathy in her relations with Nancy and others.
Author:  Rosalin [ Mon May 12, 2008 1:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
An inspired choice of Bible passage by Hilda. I'm sure most of the girls won't have considered the elder son too closely. I hope Kathie will be able to take Hilda's words to heart.

Thanks Mary.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon May 12, 2008 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just come home from work, Mary, and found this wonderful passage waiting for me. As Luisa says it will need more than one reading to get all there is in it, but let us hope it will indeed have helped Kathie as well as Ellie by the time the day is done.

Thank you :D
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon May 12, 2008 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
An absolutely riveting post, which I've had to re-read several times before commenting, and will no doubt return to several more times - I'm still gasping at all it contains.

Hilda is so frank about why she needs to tackle the issue of bullying head on but without naming names, isn't she? And Jeanne was so reassuring there. The way all three Senior Mistresses, including Kathy, respond to what Hilda is saying about the text she has selected for the 'Quiet Hour' talks is such a tribute to the loyalty which she inspires. And Kathy's own 'capping' of the lines from Corinthians, plus the conversation between Hilda and herself at the end show the effect that Hilda's words have had on her - now if only that will carry over permanently.

And through it all shines Hilda's own strength, leaving us secure in the knowledge that she and her staff will carry this through. Then, and only then will she be able to return to Ellie.

Thank you, Mary, for allowing us to be present at this meeting.
Author:  di [ Mon May 12, 2008 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Amazing, Mary, amazing. A post that does need reading and re reading to digest. Kathie certainly has started her journey in battling her jealousy, although not yet ready to acknowledge the strength of her own little green monster. How shocked the others were, suprisingly really as where there are many together , bullying, unfortunately does happen. However they all support Hilda unconditionally in finding ways to tackle it. I only hope that Ellie doesn't suffer any more at the hands of the bully. Maybe her conscience like Kathie's will come to the fore.
Thank you for such a sensitive post, Mary.
Author:  Lesley [ Mon May 12, 2008 6:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ah that was sublime - thank Mary.
Author:  dackel [ Mon May 12, 2008 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
What a brilliant teacher Hilda is - the two texts she has chosen perfectly bring across the point she is trying to make. I hope that it works.

Thank you, Mary. I love your Hilda. :D
Author:  MHE [ Mon May 12, 2008 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary

You know how I reacted when I first started reading ND and nothing you have posted here since has changed my opinion. You'r portrayal of Hilda's despair has touched me deeply as you know - it must be my sentitive Celt side coming out. I'm hopeless when Wales are playing rugby. I will happily wander around Aber for the whole of the match and will only watch the last 5 minutes and then only if we are in front - this tactic worked very well this last season (note to self better not watch any games at all next season!!)

As for this latest offering I think i'ts brill the way Hilda has thought it out - how to get her message across with out it being to obvious. There is an old Welsh saying 'bwrw'r postyn i'r pared gael clywed' which roughly translates as 'hitting (or kicking) the (door) post for the wall to hear' and that is exactly what is happening here - looking forward to the next instalment to see the reactions
Author:  linda [ Mon May 12, 2008 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
The choice of the two texts is really inspired. Jealousy and love. Jealousy being a demonstration of a lack of love. Hilda is right, we do not consider the position of the elder son, only the prodigal.

Quote:
Jeanne is patient, Kathie is kind, Ruth does not envy and ….”

She was stunned to hear Kathie pick up her words and softly continue the passage. “Hilda does not boast, Hilda is not proud. Hilda is not rude, Hilda is not self-seeking, Hilda is not easily angered, Hilda keeps no record of wrongs. Hilda does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Hilda always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”


Where has this come from, Kathie? Is a lesson being learned here? I feel that Kathie has come a long way since she was marooned at the school. Perhaps this has brought her up sharply and will lead to her realising the depths to which she had fallen.

Mary, this was so beautiful with such tremendous depths. I too needed to read it several times before I could post. Thank you.
Author:  Celia [ Mon May 12, 2008 10:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda at her comprehensive best. Understanding so well what needs to
be said and done.
A thought provoking piece of writing.

Thank you Mary
Author:  Tara [ Mon May 12, 2008 11:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
What a deeply thoughtful post. I particularly appreciated the clear-eyed analysis of jealousy, which is so often taken as a proof of intensity of love:
Quote:
Jealousy is insatiable through its lack of love, its refusal to be satisfied, its neediness ... Jealousy is, above all, a lack of love.
Very, very wise, and so memorably expressed.

Hilda's approach of asking the girls to insert their own name in the Corinthians passage is moving and thought-provoking, as, indeed, are her final words to Kathie - truly words that 'took her apart and raised her up, all at the same time'. It is part of Hilda's charisma that she can inspire people to be - and to want to be - so much more than they thought possible.

Beautiful, Mary - thank you.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue May 13, 2008 3:05 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm glad to see Kathie starting to work through her feelings of jealousy though I wish Hilda had more faith or belief in just how good and kind she is instead of feeling so inadequate all the time. Yes, she fails at times in love, but she suceeds far more often than she fails.

Thanks Mary
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue May 13, 2008 3:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
He wanted more – but what more was there? Jealousy is insatiable through its lack of love, its refusal to be satisfied, its neediness. It causes far more damage than the selfish ways of the younger son


This is a definition of jealousy that I'd never considered, and there is a lot of truth in it. Especially the neediness, for it's true that people who experience jealousy are often acting out of their own need to feel more valued.

...which in turn makes me think that there's perhaps some foreshadowing here!

Truly a sublime and thought-provoking post, Mary. Thank you.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Tue May 13, 2008 12:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
you have given me - and Kathie !- much to think about here !

I so much enjoyed Hilda's exegesis and exposition of the texts and their application to the current situations.

I think this beautifully crafted interlude will repay me re-reading it several more times - so I can "read, mark, learn and inwardly digest" its wisdom.

I hope Kathie has found it as beneficial too........
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue May 13, 2008 1:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
What an extraordinary exposition on the nature of jealousy, and delivered in terms that are obvious to the staff present and will later be clear to the girls.
Quote:
Jealousy is insatiable through its lack of love, its refusal to be satisfied, its neediness.
And it's also about trust isn't it - the elder son didn't trust his father sufficiently and Kathie doesn't trust Hilda quite enough either, despite her reassurances. But Kathie does clearly recognise Hilda's worth and is able to proclaim that both to her and to those with her.

And how astute of Hilda to point out that bullying may not necessarily be found is obviously aggressive and noticeable tactics, but can be a reiteration of numerous small hurts and insults -
Quote:
I’m quite sure it goes on in small ways throughout the school, that we have girls who are often made quite miserable, and for the same reason. They don’t tell us for lots of different reasons. We humans are very quick to hurt others and bullies can be very clever.


And through it all, Hilda's own belief in the essential goodness of humanity shines through, even though she is aware that this can so easily be marred by individual wilfulness.

Thank you Mary; this was thoughtful and beautifully written.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Thu May 15, 2008 1:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Hope the strategy works -- if not with the ringleader, at least with the followers.

Thank goodness Kathie doesn't seem to have flared up over it, as she might well have done.
Author:  clair [ Thu May 15, 2008 9:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Mary, have read this several times and still finding new things in it. Hope that Kathie's able to continue in this vein and come to some sort of peace within herself - or at least to keep it within and not flare up suddenly
Author:  MaryR [ Thu May 15, 2008 2:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow! I was very worried about posting that last piece, as one or two of you could testify, so thank you so much for the wonderful comments. I think some of you could write this saga better than I'm doing. :twisted:

MHE wrote:
As for this latest offering I think i'ts brill the way Hilda has thought it out - how to get her message across with out it being to obvious. There is an old Welsh saying 'bwrw'r postyn i'r pared gael clywed' which roughly translates as 'hitting (or kicking) the (door) post for the wall to hear'...

What a wonderful expression, and it is indeed a vivid description of what Hilda is trying to do. You must share some more Welsh expressions with us, Menna! :lol:


Hilda left the Hall after dismissing the girls and stepped into her study to deposit her books. She stood for a minute or two by the butterflies, watching them rotate lazily in the current of air from the stove, and yearned to fly free as they did in one great and glorious burst of joy and beauty. Butterflies didn’t worry about such things as whether they had made a difference. They just did what they were created to do, and helped make the world a more beautiful place in the doing.

Once the girls had grasped the point about the older son in the story, there had been a vigorous discussion among them about the different forms envy or jealousy could take, and just what such feelings might lead to. Hilda had deliberately avoided looking in Meg’s direction most of the time, not wanting to see what she might read there. After all, the girl knew that she knew. But at one point, while they were writing out the words of St Paul, something had drawn her eyes to Meg and she had seen a look of strange disquiet on the girls’s face as she stared down at her card. Had something struck, after all, or was it due to something else? Had the words about bullying caught her attention?

Erica was the one who had dropped the word ‘bullying’ into the conversation and Hilda had scrutinised her thoughtfully. Did Erica know something – or was her Headmistress becoming fanciful in her old age?

With a sigh she gave it up and turned her mind to Ellie. Had Gwynneth done the dirty deed by now? Wasting no more time, Hilda gave the butterflies one last twirl, left the room and went to the kitchen to beg a pot of coffee. She made her way carefully back to the Annexe with the tray and opened the door of the room Ellie was using. The next moment, she had dropped the tray carelessly on the cupboard by the door and flown across the room to the bed. She leaned over Ellie, who was lying curled up in a blanket, her head on Vivien Knowles’ lap. Her eyes were closed, her lips compressed in pain, and she had her hand tucked in close to her chest. Hilda reached out to touch the white cheek and Ellie’s eyes fluttered open.

“Madame?” she whispered, and then her lips began to tremble. She hid her face in Vivien’s dress, trying to hide the sudden weakness on seeing Hilda – just as Matey had feared.

Hilda knelt in front of the two, laid her hand on her ward gently, but looked worriedly at Vivien, who shook her head. “Matron’s gone to phone Dr Maynard.”

“Why?” gasped Hilda, horror in her eyes. “Is it worse?”

Vivien reached out a calming hand. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. She says it’s healing nicely, doesn’t she, Ellie? But she thinks some stronger pain-killers might help, if Dr Jack will allow her to administer them. It hurts a lot, doesn’t it, dear? But you were so brave, Ellie. Not a peep out of you.” She smiled at Hilda. “Drink your coffee, my dear, before you fall down. Then I think you should take over from me here. It’s you she wants.”

“Nonesense, Vivien,” whispered Hilda. “I can see how good you’ve been for her. Ellie, ma mie, would you like a…?”

The door opened, interrupting her, and Matron appeared. “So – you’re back. As you can see, it’s still very painful. But then, she did make a real mess of it, such that I think even you might whimper, Miss Annersley. However, it’s healing cleanly.” She leaned over the bed. “Ellie, we’re going to sit you up a little so you can take these tablets and then you can cuddle up to Madame and have a nap. I know it hurts but these should soon take effect.”

Carefully, Ellie was lifted up and Hilda changed places with Vivien. She leaned back against the pillows, her arm round Ellie, who was using her good hand to cradle the bandaged hand against herself. She leaned into Hilda with a sob, but then opened her eyes and obediently swallowed tablets and water as Matey held them for her. Hilda tucked the blanket more firmly round her ward and held her gently. Matey unearthed another blanket and wrapped that one round the two of them, so closely linked were they.

A sudden tear trickled down the girl’s cheek, to be followed by another and then another. She hid her face in Hilda’s chest, pressing close as though to meld with her guardian. Hilda put both arms round her and looked up uneasily at Matey. The latter read her mind and nodded. Yes, the presence of Madame was undoing her, but conversely it was also what she wanted and needed.

Ellie’s shoulders shook but no sound escaped her. Hilda stroked the black hair tenderly, her eyes dark with her anxiety, and after a while the girl lay still and quiet against her. Matey went to the tray and fetched a cup, which she handed to Hilda, speaking quietly.

“Drink up. I suspect that was a hard hour with the girls. Jeanne’s just told me what you were up to. I only hope it has the desired effect.”

Vivien, still standing by the bed, frowned at those words. There was some mystery here. But as she wasn’t one of Hilda’s Senior team, hers not to wonder why. She watched the white face as her Headmistress drank the coffee straight down. Matey re-filled the cup and that drink followed the first, in double-quick time. What had Hilda been doing to make her so thirsty? Vivien gave it up and moved to the door.

“Um… I think I’ll go and find my own coffee, if you don’t need me any more. I’ll see you in your study later, Hilda, along with the other staff.”

Hilda’s loving regard was like sunlight touching Vivien’s heart. “I thought I told you to relax today, Miss Knowles,” Hilda said softly and Vivien shrugged and gave a wry grin. Caught out again! “But I can use you if you really mean it. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for looking after Ellie for me. You’ve enjoyed being with her, haven’t you, petite?”

Ellie raised her head. Her red-rimmed, bleary eyes surveyed Vivien across the room. “Thank you for trying to help, Miss Knowles. And for the…. you know!” and she smiled suddenly.

Vivien winked. “I know, Ellie, dear. And it was my pleasure. You take care of yourself and I’ll see you later, perhaps.”

Not realising under what circumstances she would next see Ellie, she smiled at the other two women and slipped from the room.....
Author:  Lisa_T [ Thu May 15, 2008 2:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oooh, what haveEllie and Vivien been up to?

Another lovely post, Mary, although I must confess I was worried about the butterflies in the current until I remembered they were origami, and thus impervious.

*off to find brain*

Also enjoyed Vivien thinking that 'hers not to wonder why', although I don't see her doing meek obedience either! Lovely Matey too.

Thank you.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu May 15, 2008 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
All of Ellie's reactions to having that hand dressed are so natural, and the stronger painkillers will help. And her more emotional reaction when Hilda appeared was equally natural - Vivien is wonderful to her, and she appreciates all she does, but Hilda is her true 'refuge and strength' isn't she? Now, perhaps, the two of them really can rest together for a few hours - it will do both of them a power of good.

I do hope that Hilda's words to the girls will have had the desired effect on Meg - and of course *we* know that Hilda's sense that Erica does know more than meets the eye is justified. I will await developments in that area, too.

But I do NOT like the ominous overtones of your last sentence, Mary - please don't keep us hanging on that particular precipice for too long!!!

Thank you, as always.
Author:  MHE [ Thu May 15, 2008 2:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
No Welsh this time!! Well okay then, a little 'hyfryd' is the only word I can use to describe this post.

I'm also wondering what those two have been up to while Hilda was 'kicking the post' but it does look like at least part of the wall has heard!!

Quote:
Not realising under what circumstances she would next see Ellie, she smiled at the other two women and slipped from the room.....


Slightly worried by the last sentence ...
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu May 15, 2008 3:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
Not realising under what circumstances she would next see Ellie, she smiled at the other two women and slipped from the room.....


And of course you don't do cliffs, do you - any more than Lesley does . . . :wink:

thanks Mary - hoping that Hilda has got through to Meg, and wondering what Vivien & Ellie's secret might be :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu May 15, 2008 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary thank you.

No cliffs??? Meg?? Erica?? Ellie and Vivien???

Matey and Hilda and we still have Kathy at the main school!!! Mary do not keep us waiting too long for the answers to the cliffs.

((((Mary thanks))))

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Celia [ Thu May 15, 2008 6:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just as I thought things were beginning to run more smoothly you
leave us with a cliff like that :!: :!: :!:

Please don't leave us suspended for long :dontknow:

Thank you Mary( huh :wink: )
Author:  di [ Thu May 15, 2008 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Echoing everyone else, don't leave us awaiting too long as am now very concerned for Ellie after your cliff. I hope Meg doesn't get to her; she didn't seem to have taken on board the not so subtle message of the Prodigal Son!
Many thanks, Mary for yet another 'corker' :)
Author:  Fi [ Thu May 15, 2008 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hope both Meg and Kathie have taken in the lesson of the prodigal son, but I will reserve my doubts about their future behaviour - jealousy is a very stubborn emotion. I'm glad that Ellie had both Vivien and Hilda to support her when she was in pain.

MaryR wrote:
Not realising under what circumstances she would next see Ellie, she smiled at the other two women and slipped from the room.....

Ok, now I am dangling off a very big cliff. Please reassure us soon that it can't be as bad as I'm imagining.

Thank You Mary
Author:  Lesley [ Thu May 15, 2008 9:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Like the cliff, Mary. :wink:

Pity we couldn't see Hilda's talk to the girls - but at least there appears to be some response from Meg - whether it will be a good one remains to be seen.


Thank you.
Author:  linda [ Thu May 15, 2008 9:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Ellie, it looks as though she is going to suffer a great deal of pain before her injury heals. She needs to sleep to give the poor hand a chance to heal without getting knocked.

I wonder just what she and Vivien have been doing whilst Hilda was away.

Quote:
Not realising under what circumstances she would next see Ellie, she smiled at the other two women and slipped from the room.....


Now there's a worrying cliff.......

Thank you Mary, but please don't keep us hanging on too long. :wink: :wink: :wink:
Author:  Luisa [ Thu May 15, 2008 9:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cleverly done, to leave us wondering exactly what took place during those services, but to leave us dangling over quite so many cliffs :shock: - words fail me!
Another one pleading to be put out of her misery soon - especially about Meg. Jealousy is such a tenacious beast, and it must be making her miserable.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Fri May 16, 2008 12:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Hmm, that sounds rather ominous, between Meg's expression, Ellie's pain, and the *little did she know* aura of the last sentence.

*waits impatiently*

(Thank you, Mary. :))
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri May 16, 2008 12:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, poor Ellie, that must have been so painful and unpleasant. Still, at least Vivien was there for her - and obviously had something special for Ellie, even though it's a secret at the moment!

It sounds as though Meg may have gained something from the talk, and hopefully, the opportunity to think about it and mull it over will be beneficial. And I loved the timely comment about the butterflies:
Quote:
Butterflies didn’t worry about such things as whether they had made a difference. They just did what they were created to do, and helped make the world a more beautiful place in the doing.
A lovely reminder, Mary - thank you.

And what an interesting sentence to conclude with - not that Mary does cliffs - just undulations that you don't notice until you're flat on your face! :D
Author:  MaryR [ Sun May 18, 2008 4:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cath V-P wrote:
And what an interesting sentence to conclude with - not that Mary does cliffs - just undulations that you don't notice until you're flat on your face! :D

Cath, I love it! :lol:

I'm sorry for those of you who wanted what you call *Hilda's talk* but there wasn't one. :? As I said in the last post, it was a discussion among the girls themselves, not Hilda and the other staff holding forth. And I didn't want to labour the point of the Prodigal Son to death, poor boy!! :twisted: Am I forgiven, since I gave you the highlights? :oops:


....Not realising under what circumstances she would next see Ellie, she smiled at the other two women and slipped from the room. “Elle est gentille, Madame,” whispered Ellie and then cuddled against Hilda again.

“You’re right, Ellie, child,” said Matey, returning to the bed with another cup. “She is very kind. And you’re now going to be kind to me and drink your coffee. Then I’ll leave you in peace for the time being.”

Ellie drank it down as thirstily as Hilda had done, then settled herself more comfortably against Hilda, and closed her eyes to contain the pain. Her whole arm was once more on fire.

Hilda bit her lip, looked at Matey again. “I have to be in the study before twelve o’clock to sort out plans for this afternoon with the others.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back,” replied Matey. “And Ellie will probably feel better by then, anyway.”

Hearing her name, Ellie raised her head. “Matron Lloyd, if it would not be too much trouble, could you go to Madame’s room and bring in the little present that is sitting on her bedside cupboard? Miss Knowles and I left it there earlier.”

Anything to distract you, thought Matey, and headed off through the door to return with a gaily-wrapped package. “This what you want, Ellie?” she asked. Ellie nodded and Matey handed it to Hilda.

Ellie whispered, “We made it before….”

“Before Matron came along and attacked you so cruelly!” stated Matey, with a grimace.

“Open it, Madame,” prompted Ellie.

Hilda one-handedly eased the paper back and then gasped. It was that amazing sketch of Mother Abbess she had seen in Ellie’s notebook, those extraordinary green eyes gazing up at her shrewdly, reading her mind. The nun could have been in the room, so vivid was that look.

“Oh, Ellie…” whispered Hilda. It was the last thing she had been expecting. “Did you tear it out especially for me?”

“Non, Madame. I drew it again while Miss Knowles constructed the frame. She is very clever, non? I drew the little cat as well, which she cut out and stuck on the corner of the frame.”

Hilda kissed Ellie gently. “It’s beautiful, Ellie, and it will take pride of place beside my angel statue. You and Miss Knowles should go into business together.”

It was indeed beautiful, the frame being constructed of bands of different shades of green overlapping each other, and those and the green eyes of the little grey cat picked up the colour of Mother Abbess's compellingly vivid eyes to great effect. Hilda set it down carefully on the cupboard and turned her head back to Ellie to see that Matey had performed a vanishing act. She put both arms back round Ellie and hugged her close.

“Feeling a little better, child?” she asked. Ellie nodded, for in truth she was rather sleepy now. “Well, I have to leave you in a short while, but I’ve decided to pre-empt anything Matey might say and take the afternoon off to be with you. Would you like that?”

She laughed gently when she felt Ellie give a little wriggle of pleasure. “I’m so pleased you’re pleased. And if you’re very, very good, and have a nap, I might even have a treat for you.”

Peace prevailed in the room and eventually the pain lessened and Ellie slept. Matey returned and she and Hilda laid the girl flat and tucked her up warmly.

“You’re sure that finger is getting better?” asked Hilda, frowning as they left the room.

Matey raised her eyes to the heavens and sighed out loud in exasperation. “Hilda, I promise you, it will be good as new, if not quite as it once was. Stop acting like a mother hen. Yes, it hurts, and will go on hurting for a while. She did a real hatchet job on it and it’s depleting her resources. But it’s only been two days. Give her another couple and she’ll be a lot better. Especially if you can also get the bullying stopped.”

Hilda breathed a sigh of relief, though worry remained in her eyes.There was indeed the bullying still! It wasn’t all jam being a guardian! Maybe she wasn’t cut out for it! But Matey read her thoughts again and prepared to have her way this time.

“For pity’s sake, woman, you have nothing to castigate yourself for! And so Nell herself would tell you. And, indeed, often did so! You’re doing a brilliant job as Ellie’s guardian! You give her what is most important of all – your love. And you expect nothing in return for all you lavish on her.”

She stopped, waited for Hilda to take in what she was saying. Her Headmistress regarded her gravely for what seemed like an age, then bit her lip and nodded. “Good girl! Now, go away and do what you have to do to make sure the inmates are secure. Even have lunch with them, since Ellie is asleep. But be sure I’ll ask the others how much you’ve eaten! I will say this though - plan the afternoon and evening in such a way that they have no need of you. You are going to rest, if I have to lock the door on you. I want no Headmistresses collapsing on my watch, thank you very much!”

Hilda’s eyes danced at the fierceness of the doughty woman before her. “I was there before you, Gwynneth. I’ve already told Ellie I’ll spend the rest of the day with her. So go pick a fight with someone your own size!”

Matey rolled her eyes. “Sense has prevailed – and not before time. You are a dreadful example to be set before that impressionable child.”

She saw the dancing eyes light up with glee, heard the amusement in the lovely voice. “Oh, go on with you, evil fiend that you are! You enjoy the fights. If I gave in to you too often you’d be disappointed.” Hilda winked. “Look after her for me.”

Matey smilingly watched her Headmistress turn and walk off down the corridor, but the smile was wiped off her lips smartly when she heard Hilda singing, over and over:

And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse.
(Belloc)
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun May 18, 2008 4:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
but the smile was wiped off her lips smartly when she heard Hilda singing, over and over:

And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse.
(Belloc)


:lol: :lol:

Thanks Mary - a lovely post - and what a beautiful gift Vivien and Ellie have made for Hilda :D
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun May 18, 2008 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh good - I get to post first, for once!! (Unless of course, someone else has got there while I've been typing!) :lol: :lol:

That was such a lovely mixture - and I did chuckle to see Hilda pre-empt Gwynneth's fiat about any plans for the afternoon!!!!

Once again, the love between Ellie and Hilda shines through so vividly - and the gift Ellie and Vivien have created is yet another testament to it. I know that in Hilda's shoes, I would treasure that gift tremendously. I'm glad, though, that Gwynneth was able to be so reassuring about Ellie's finger, despite the pain the girl is suffering from it at present, and also about Hilda's actions as her guardian.

Quote:
And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse.
(Belloc)
[/i]

Hmm, just wonder what is behind that hint......!!!! :) :)

Thanks, Mary

Author:  Celia [ Sun May 18, 2008 6:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ellie knows just the right gift to give to her beloved Madam, and Vivien's
frame makes it even lovelier. Good repartee between Matey and Hilda
too...no wonder the smile is wiped from Gwynneth's face by her Head's
audacious singing !!

No respite from dangling over cliffs then :twisted:

Thanks Mary :D
Author:  Lesley [ Sun May 18, 2008 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Brought a smile to my face that - love Hilda's observation that Matey likes the fight. :lol:


Thanks Mary.
Author:  linda [ Sun May 18, 2008 8:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Matey smilingly watched her Headmistress turn and walk off down the corridor, but the smile was wiped off her lips smartly when she heard Hilda singing, over and over:

And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse.
(Belloc)


What lovely banter between Hilda and Matey, and I love the Belloc quote.

How beautifully Ellie and Vivien had worked together to produce a wonderful gift for Hilda. Vivien was certainly able to find the right approach to take Ellie's mind off the painful treatment to come when her hand was dressed.

I have no dobuts that Hilda will be able to arrange a full programme for the rest of the day which will give her time to spend with Ellie, but somewhat worried about the hints in this and the previous post.

Thank you, Mary
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun May 18, 2008 9:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: Love the exchange between Matey and Hilda there
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun May 18, 2008 9:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse.
(Belloc)


Why keep hold of nurse,
When Matey can be so much worse.
When Matey says we should rest,
Well then we to our beds must go,
For if she finds us active still,
Matey's wrath no barriers has.


(The doggeral based on Belloc (c) PSS)

Thank you Mary. I am sure Nurse could not keep Hilda in order as well as Gynneth does.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon May 19, 2008 3:14 am ]
Post subject: 
And there I was hoping to get a respite from giggling, but between your post, Mary, and the comments I'm still snickering away. I love all the relationships in this, but I'm really starting to love the Hilda/Gwyn relationship we have here, which is plainly one of equals. There's times when that's not so in the books, and it's lovely to have it explored here.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Mon May 19, 2008 6:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Poor Matey, being compared to Hilaire Belloc's inimitable Nurse :wink:


Given a battle between Gwynneth and the lion, the poor lion wouldn't stand a chance ......she guards all her charges so well.

I'm glad Ellie us on the mend and that Vivien is on hand to help Hilda in this way. I would love a frame like that, myself !
Author:  di [ Mon May 19, 2008 7:01 am ]
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Poor Ellie, what a lot of pain she is experiencing, I hope her suffering eases over the next couple of posts :wink:
The banter between Hilda and Matron is exquisite; but I doubt Hilda will ever get the better of her although she tries so hard. Vivien is becoming such a support to them all, what a treasure Nell found. By the way, where's Nell got to? She's been very quiet just lately, most unusual!
Look forward to hearing about the afternoon Hilda and Ellie spend together, although I wouldn't be surprised if something or someone, interrupts it.
Thanks, Mary, for a lovely post.
Author:  Sal [ Mon May 19, 2008 9:49 pm ]
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Your descriptions of the banter between Hilda and Matey are great Mary, thanks. Oh and I loved Hilda teasing last line!
Author:  MaryR [ Tue May 20, 2008 4:24 pm ]
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di wrote:
. By the way, where's Nell got to? She's been very quiet just lately, most unusual!

And I suspect she intends to keep it that way while Revenge is playing, Di! :lol: I hope MA will do instead, in a little while... :wink:

.....Matey smilingly watched her Headmistress turn and walk off down the corridor, but the smile was wiped off her lips smartly when she heard Hilda singing, over and over:

And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse.
(Belloc)

Matey disappeared back into Ellie's room, gladness in her heart that Hilda could find some cheeriness despite her weariness and worry. She leaned over Ellie and saw her face was already looking more relaxed. Hilda's companionship that afternoon would hopefully continue the healing process....

Meanwhile, after a lively session in the study with her staff, Hilda led the way into the Speisesaal, where to her own surprise she even managed to swallow half of what was placed in front of her.

That should delight your heart, Gwynneth, dear, when you ask your spies about it!

She happened to look up at that moment and caught Ruth’s watchful eye. They read each other’s minds and Ruth coloured, but then started as she saw her Headmistress laugh and wave a hand her way in acknowledgment.

Putting down her spoon down, Hilda sat back and watched staff and pupils as they finished their meal. A myriad thoughts were darting hither and yon inside her mind. Had she covered everything? Would she be shirking her duty to leave them to it? Was Ellie going to be alright? What would Nell think of it all……? Her eyes rested for a moment or two on Meg Lyall. That young lady was equally silent but seemed calm and composed as though she had not a care in the world, which contradicted the expression Hilda had seen on her face earlier that day.

Hilda discovered, somewhat to her dismay, that her hands were clenched tight, the nails digging into her palms. Her love for Ellie was over-riding her sense of justice and fair play, and she hated herself for it. It went against all her own expectations of herself. Forcing herself to relax, she glanced away from Meg – and met Vivien’s anxious frown. Had they all been warned to keep an eye on her? No, Vivien had already shown how very perceptive she was - and knew more about her Headmistress than most of her colleagues, for all her shortness of tenure at the Chalet School.

Hilda allowed her lips to relax into a smile, but it did nothing to remove Vivien’s frown. Quickly, Hilda touched the bell in front of her and silence fell. Once more, all heads turned her way, spoons were laid down. She rose to her feet.

“Good afternoon, girls. I told you earlier that I would inform you of our plans for this afternoon. First of all, you will have your usual half hour’s rest in the Hall. After that, you have several options. Miss Burnett and company will be in the gym with an afternoon of games and dancing, for any who care to wander along there. Or you may prefer to stay in your common rooms and spend the afternoon and early evening on your Hobbies. The prefects are taking a well-deserved break this afternoon, but members of staff will be around to offer you any help you might need.”

She had to stop there as clapping had broken out. Neither dancing nor hobbies were usually available on Sundays and the girls had resigned themselves to a rather monotonous afternoon while the snow was still dancing a polka outside. Now, all that had changed. Hilda knew all about it, of course, which was why she had decided to organise things. She smiled understandingly and gave them their head for a minute and then held up her hand.

“I haven’t finished telling my good news yet,” she warned them, her eyes dancing when she saw the girls perk up even more. “Now, if any of you have a yen for playing chess, you may go to Miss Knowles’ form room, where she will have everything set up for you. And if anyone wants a little peace to read or whatever, and can’t find it in the common rooms, then you too may go along to her room. I believe quiet is needed for what Pascal, or someone equally famous, inventively called the gymnasium of the mind, Miss Knowles?” Vivien nodded, her own eyes twinkling.

“I should perhaps advise you now that Miss Knowles is thinking of starting a chess club this term, and she’s hoping to fit in an origami club, as well, though don’t ask me how.” A great burst of cheering interrupted her at that point and she laughed at Vivien’s stunned expression at being thus pre-empted. When the sound had abated somewhat, Hilda added, in some amusement. “We clearly don’t work you hard enough, Miss Knowles.”

There were more giggles from the girls and Ruth Derwent leaned across to Jeanne de Lachennais. “They all look so much happier, suddenly. Nell’s death hit them hard – hit us all hard – but the pall seems to have lifted.”

Jeanne nodded, her gaze turned on her Headmistress. “It’s all due to Hilda, ma chère. She’s done a lot of quiet work with the older girls, and also with some of the staff. I know Vida was very upset last term and Hilda was a great comfort to her. She’s been very open in some ways since last September, and her sense of humour has been more pronounced. It’s as though she’s trying to be Nell as well as herself, so they don’t miss Nell too much. Me, I don’t know how she has found the courage. She hurt so much for such a long time.”

Ruth’s glance fell on Vivien’s laughing face. She knew, even though Vivien had revealed nothing, that her friend had had something to do with Hilda’s healing.

“She still hurts, Jeanne,” she said quietly. “She will always hurt. They were too close. It’s just that she’s re-gained that enormous self-control of hers and is able to hide her sorrow better now. Oddly enough, you’re right, now I come to think of it. She has been more open and has shown her vulnerability more than ever before. Maybe Ellie has had something to do with it. She worships that child. God help whoever is bullying her, when Hilda finds her out – because she will.”

Jeanne nodded. Hilda might be funnier and more open, but she still had her steel core and no one hurt her loved ones and escaped scot free. People who injured or upset Nell had discovered that. Just as no one had hurt Hilda when Nell was around! Nell, once roused, was a sight to strike terror in the hardiest of souls. How Hilda must miss that unconditional support and love. Even the advent of a ward wouldn’t make up for her intense loneliness and continuing sorrow.....
Author:  Lesley [ Tue May 20, 2008 4:39 pm ]
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Thanks Mary - nice to see a little of the other Staff.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue May 20, 2008 5:15 pm ]
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Ah, that was lovely, Mary - and I am also amazed at Vivien's juggling skills! Ruth is showing herself to be very perceptive in her own way.
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue May 20, 2008 5:38 pm ]
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Thanks Mary I wondered if we would get Revenge or ND first in view of the cliffs you are keeping going in both. I am not suprised Nell can only keep up with regular input to both. Hilda though is managinmg it very well. Her intelligence and wit is a joy in them both.

The other staff may not have seen Hilda's wit when Nell was alive, but Nell and we are experiencing it in Revenge.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue May 20, 2008 6:18 pm ]
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It's good to see that Hilda is prepared to allow the girls the chance for both dancing and Hobbies today, even though this *is* Sunday - and to reveal the plans for other clubs too, even if Vivien herself hasn't yet announced these!! In doing all this, she has definitely given the girls enough to think about and to do that she can be perfectly justified in taking the ensuing afternoon hours for herself - and for Ellie.

I really enjoyed the exchange between Ruth and Jeanne - Ruth's comment about Hilda 'still hurting' was very telling, even though she recognises the strides she has made in the last few months. It's good to see that the staff really *do* look out for Hilda, and do their best to help her, even though they probably all realise that at bottom, they remain a poor substitute for Nell, who was Hilda's alter ego in so many respects.

Thanks as always, Mary
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue May 20, 2008 9:14 pm ]
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Thanks Mary. How wise of Hilda to allow a few 'non-Sunday' activities to counteract the danger of fraught emotions in their snowbound situation.
Author:  MHE [ Tue May 20, 2008 11:47 pm ]
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Thanks Mary that was a lovely glimpse of what the rest of the staff think

[quote]“She still hurts, Jeanne,” she said quietly. “She will always hurt. They were too close. It’s just that she’s re-gained that enormous self-control of hers and is able to hide her sorrow better now. Oddly enough, you’re right, now I come to think of it. She has been more open and has shown her vulnerability more than ever before. [quote]

Hyfryd
Author:  Tara [ Tue May 20, 2008 11:50 pm ]
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I love the way so many of the staff are surreptitiously keeping an eye on Hilda - she's not going to get away with anything! A lovely illustration of her relationship with them and with the girls; she knows just what to do to keep everything under control while the snow continues.
Quote:
It’s as though she’s trying to be Nell as well as herself, so they don’t miss Nell too much.
That's quite a tall order; I hope Hilda isn't putting herelf under too much stress trying to be all things to all people. I also hope she and Ellie can have a peaceful afternoon.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  di [ Wed May 21, 2008 6:59 am ]
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A lovely snapshot into the plans for Sunday afternoon, and with the staff taking care of things Hilda should be able to spend a few precious hours with Ellie. Should do them both the world of good.
Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed May 21, 2008 7:08 am ]
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Nice to see them all so caring for each other -- not surprising that Hilda is both prime donor and object of everyone's concern at this point.

Not counting Meg, of course. Sounds like she may be 'listening to her devil' :evil: more than the recent lesson at the moment.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  MaryR [ Wed May 21, 2008 7:37 pm ]
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....Jeanne nodded. Hilda might be now funnier and more open, but she had a steel core and no one hurt her loved ones. People who injured or upset Nell had discovered that. Just as no one hurt Hilda when Nell was around! Nell, once roused, was a sight to quell the hardiest offender. How Hilda must miss that unconditional support and love. Even the advent of a ward wouldn’t make up for her intense loneliness and continuing sorrow.

Hilda, meanwhile, held up her hand for silence. “I now have a request to make of some of you – and you mustn’t feel in any way coerced. Our Juniors didn’t see the concert last night, so we were wondering if those who performed would be willing to give up some of their afternoon and perform again. It won't be a contest this time, of course, as the winners were chosen last night, nor will we have Ellie Drake and her drawings, as she is in bed, but I’m hoping at least some of you others will agree.”

This time the burst of applause came from the Junior end of the Speisesaal and Hilda smiled in sympathy. As she waited, Mireille suddenly rose to her feet and the noise was instantly hushed in expectation. “I know you gave the prefects the afternoon off, Miss Annersley, but we're more than willing to reprise our performance, and I’m sure everyone else will do the same,” she added warningly, glancing round.

Before anyone could else could speak, one brave soul among the Seniors raised her hand.

“Yes, Val, dear?” said Hilda.

Val Pertwee swallowed nervously at suddenly making herself the focus of the whole school’s attention. “Would it b…be possible for the rest of the school to watch it again, please, Miss Annersley?”

An anxious silence fell while Hilda pretended to consider, though in fact she had already anticipated this request. She smiled round the staff table, then turned twinkling eyes back on Val and smiled broadly.

“Since you ask so nicely, Val, and since we’re still stuck inside, I think the answer is - Yes.”

Another great cheer went up and Val’s friends all thumped her on the back as she sat thankfully down, wondering how on earth she had managed to pluck up the courage. Hilda’s bell was rung three times before she achieved complete silence once more.

“That’s better,” she said darkly. “You can’t have a concert if we have no roof on the school! A little decorum, please!"

Laughter ran round the room at her sally. "Thank you for offering, Mireille, and I'm sure most will follow suit. First of all, then, I ask that you allow the Juniors to have the best seats and that you don’t spoil it for them by giving away secrets beforehand. Secondly, those of you who saw it last night do not have to watch it again if you don’t wish to do so. You are free to choose what you do, and may still spend time on your hobbies or in Miss Knowles’ room or the in gym. Some of the mistresses will be around the school and some will be in the Hall. But, a word of warning, since you are having the concert again - if no one has availed themselves of dancing or chess by Kaffee und Kuchen, then Miss Burnett and Miss Knowles will close down those activities. There’s no point in our wasting their valuable time.”

She picked up her glass and drank deeply, as the school settled down and considered their options. She continued, “The concert will be at fifteen o’clock. You will break for Kaffee und Kuchen at the end of the first half and then go on afterwards. Abendessen will be at nineteen o’clock and everyone will have an early night, since we were so late last night. If there are any problems, Miss Derwent will be in charge."

Her voice changed, became a little sterner. " But be warned. Anyone who can’t behave themselves before the concert begins, will not see it. You will spend time, instead, helping Matron. And all the names of those who mis-behave will be passed on to me, and I will see those people tomorrow. Understood?” They all nodded and murmured their agreement. “Then all that remains is to wish you a happy afternoon. Now, most of you have finished so stand for Grace, please.”

After the Grace, she asked the girls who had performed the dance with the spiders to see her outside the room, along with Jeanne Sazarin and Marianne Westwood.

“Don’t look so worried, girls,” she murmured when they gathered round her. “You’re not in trouble, but I am going to disappoint my spiderwomen. We don’t want nightmares with the Juniors so I’m afraid we can’t allow you to do your dance.” She watched their faces fall and added quickly, “But, if you can come up with something else you could substitute for the spiders then there would be no problem. Why don’t you have a quiet word with Miss Knowles, after your rest. She might be able to help – just as she helped last night,” she teased.

They had all looked a little crestfallen, but her words about finding something else had cheered them up and the teasing note she had ended on did the trick. Their smiles returned.

Julie said quietly, “We’ll think of something, Miss Annersley. Thank you for not forbidding us altogether.”

“You worked hard planning and practising it, Julie, and it was very clever, so I’ll be more than pleased if you take this chance to dance it again.” She sent them off and turned to the other two girls. “I have a favour to ask of you two. I wonder, could you make sure you’re both slotted into the first half of the concert? I know you were in the second half last night, Marianne, but if you see Mireille I’m sure she’ll change you round, if you explain it’s at my request. Then, if you could bring your zither, Jeanne, and you your puppets, Marianne, to my study at the interval, you could partake of Kaffee und Kuchen with me.”

They looked at her, mouths open in astonishment. “Well, I did say last night, Jeanne, that I hoped to hear more of your lovely music soon, did I not? And as for Marianne, I seem to remember I ordered her to appear here this morning. Where were you?” she asked the girl bluntly.

Marianne stared at her, mouth agape, and Hilda could almost see the cogs turning. Was her Headmistress serious? Then she perceived the twinkle in Hilda’s eyes. “Miss Annersley, you’re making fun of me,” she complained, her face rueful, and Hilda laughed out loud. How this girl had changed! She would be perfect prefect material next year.

“Miss Westwood, you made a great deal of fun of your poor Headmistress last night,” retorted Hilda, severely, and watched Marianne wince. “Fair’s fair, my girl! So please do come this afternoon, to make up for your dereliction of duty this morning. However, I’m not going to tell you anything more just now, I’m afraid. All I will say is that you two are going to be my secret treat for someone - so come prepared!”
Author:  MHE [ Wed May 21, 2008 8:16 pm ]
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Quote:
However, I’m not going to tell you anything more just now, I’m afraid. All I will say is that you two are going to be my secret treat for someone - so come prepared!”


I wonder whose treat????
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed May 21, 2008 8:38 pm ]
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Thank you Mary. I love Hilda's response to Val and her teasing of Marianne.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Fi [ Wed May 21, 2008 9:02 pm ]
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I am sure Ellie will love the afternoon that Hilda has got planned for her. Hopefully that they can both relax and enjoy each other's company, they deserve it.
I hope Nancy is managing as well over at St Mildreds without her deputy. Maybe it will give both her and Kathie some much needed breathing space.

Thank You Mary
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed May 21, 2008 9:12 pm ]
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Thanks Mary - how lovely for the juniors to get the concert, too - or at least a suitable chunk of it :D
Author:  Lesley [ Wed May 21, 2008 9:20 pm ]
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Oh that was excellent - just the right tone with everyone and even making sure that the Juniors not have nightmares while ensuring the girls have time to arrange something else. Love her rapport with Marianne too.


Thanks Mary.
Author:  linda [ Wed May 21, 2008 9:26 pm ]
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Just caught up on the last two posts, Mary.

It was good to see a different side to the staff. They are so aware of the subtle changes in Hilda since she lost Nell.

The plans for the afternoon seem to have been well thought out. The juniors are going to get to see most of the concert - but without the spiders, so hopefully no nightmares.

The zither and puppets should ensure that Ellie has a pleasant afternoon too. Hilda thinks of everything and everyone!

Thank you Mary, for two more lovely posts. :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed May 21, 2008 10:34 pm ]
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That was a lovely continuation from yesterday's post, Mary - once again showing Hilda at her 'organizational best' for want of a better phrase. I'm so glad that the juniors will have the chance to see last night's concert, albeit with a few modifications. I really love the way all the girls responded to Hilda here - and the way she responded to Val, too. As for Marianne - she really *has* come on by leaps and bounds in the last months, and I'm delighted to see it. I'm sure that she and Julie will bring a great deal of pleasure to both Ellie and Hilda before the day is out.

Thank you as always for all the pleasure you bring us here, as well as all the 'food for thought' which you give us at other times in this story.
Author:  Tara [ Wed May 21, 2008 11:25 pm ]
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Typical Hilda here, thinking of everyone, from the deprived Juniors to Ellie - and the staff who are giving up their time. The girls certainly have plenty of choice for their afternoon and, once again, the easy, teasing relationship with Hilda is lovely - though there's no doubt at all of who is in charge! Nice interaction with Marianne, too, it's really good to see the change in her. Mireille is behaving with so much more initiative and strength, too.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Thu May 22, 2008 1:20 am ]
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Gorgeous again, Mary! How do you do it?

I love all of this, and Marianne is rapidly becoming one of my favourite characters. I wonder if she will loom large in what is to come, plot wise?

(Also wondering if the spiders will be replaced by butterflies)
Author:  Cath V-P [ Thu May 22, 2008 9:49 am ]
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Three posts to catch up with - or should that be 'with which to catch up?' :D

What a lovely gift Ellie and Vivien concocted for Hilda, and I loved the added extra of the little cat! And the relationship between Hilda and Gwynneth is so very strong here, based as it is for both of them on a concern for the other's wellbeing.

That discussion between Ruth and Jeanne reveals just how her staff are watching over Hilda and how very perspicacious some of them are, and Jeanne at least has picked up on what Hilda has been trying to do for the girls as a whole:
Quote:
It’s as though she’s trying to be Nell as well as herself
. And she's persisting in this even though it's painful for her.

They clearly have a very enjoyable afternoon ahead of them - dancing, chess, reading - and what a brilliant suggestion that they should redo the concert for the juniors (but minus the spiders, although I'm sure that Vivien will help the girls come up with something else.....). Somehow I think that concert will have a rather large audience. And Marianne's progress is so noticeable - hopefully Meg will also start to evaluate her behaviour too.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu May 22, 2008 2:13 pm ]
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That was so lovely Mary, thank you
Author:  di [ Fri May 23, 2008 6:57 am ]
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Well done, Val. At least we can revisit the concert whenever we please! Now the Juniors have a chance to watch a marvellous performance and for those for whom it was meant to be a punishment, well what an opportunity for them to shine once more. The afternoon is now clear for Hilda and Ellie and their guests, well, Hlda's guests who have been invited, no doubt, in an attempt to take Ellie's mind from the pain.
Thanks, Mary.
Author:  MaryR [ Fri May 23, 2008 12:16 pm ]
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....."However, I’m not going to tell you anything more just now, I’m afraid. All I will say is that you two are going to be my secret treat for someone – so come prepared!”

Hilda left the two girls looking totally mystified, and went along to the Annexe, where she divested herself of her formal dress and jacket and slipped into comfortable skirt and warm sweater. She grimaced at her wan reflection in the mirror as she re-did her hair. Matey would have a fit! She scrubbed hard at her cheeks to get the blood flowing, and then shook her head ruefully. Who would she be kidding? Not Gwynneth, that was for sure!

Turning away from the mirror, her eyes fell on the black notebook still sitting on her bedside cupboard. She dithered, than gave herself a mental shake and went over to pick it up, but, as she made to open the cover, she found herself putting it down again swiftly. Now was not the time! Although she did intend to look through it thoroughly before doing as Ellie commanded and hiding it away. How could she help her ward if she didn’t know the very worst there was to know?

Giving herself another mental shake she went through to the spare bedroom to find Ellie still asleep. However, even as she leaned over the bed and noted the girl’s more relaxed face, Ellie’s eyelids began to flutter. The next instant her eyes opened and she found herself looking up onto the smiling face of the person she now loved best, here on earth. The only one she allowed herself to trust.

“Madame?” she murmured.

Hilda brushed the wisps of hair off Ellie’s face and stroked her forehead. “Feeling any better, petite?” she asked tenderly.

“My finger doesn’t seem to hurt so much,” Ellie replied and then she grimaced. “I’m so sorry I was such a baby…”

Gentle fingers were laid on her lips, a gentle voice spoke soothing words. “Sh, child, it’s a nasty injury and Matron had been messing around with it. But if you do feel a little better, why don’t you sit up and I’ll see if I can rustle up some dinner.”

If ever a woman knew her cue, it was Matey. Even as Hilda slipped some pillows behind Ellie, the door from the outer corridor opened and the school bully walked in, bearing a tray laden with something that smelled good. She laid it on the cupboard and cast a quick glance Hilda’s way.

“Hmm! I hear you’ve listened to reason and left the school to look after itself for a while. Even mother hens need rest. But you seem rather flushed – been at the rouge to hide your white cheeks from me?”

She didn’t give Hilda chance to retort, but simply went to the bed and placed cool fingers on the patient’s wrist, even as her eyes clinically assessed Ellie’s face. “No flush here, I see,” she said tartly. “Glad you had some sense, Miss Annersley.” Hilda snorted and Ellie stared at them both in some perplexity. “It’s okay, Ellie. Your guardian just needs bringing to heel occasionally. Thinking she can fool me, an old hand at any trick a patient may get up to. You look better, dear. Let’s keep it that way, shall we, by eating some of the dinner I’ve brought you.”

Hilda watched them for a moment or two, then swallowed somewhat nervously. “Um, Matey, dear, do you think Ellie might be better for a change of scene?”

Redoubtable eyes focused on her like searchlights. “What did you have in mind? A tramp in the snow?”

“Not quite,” murmured Hilda, “though that would obviate the need for rouge, wouldn’t it? But I did wonder if she could be allowed to dress and spend some time in the study with me.”

The expected explosion erupted. “What? In your state? Over my dead body! You were going to rest, remember – or has that concussion damaged your memory cells?”

“But, Gwynneth, how can I rest quietly, knowing the correspondence is mounting up? I’ve scarcely touched it for two days and I don’t want to walk in and see tottering piles of unanswered mail tomorrow morning. That would put me in that state you mentioned! It’s no hardship to sit at a desk and write or read, I promise you.”

Out of the corner of her eye she caught the broad smile illuminating her ward’s face, and nearly followed suit at the wrath on Matey’s face. Ellie enjoyed these passages at arms almost as much as the two protagonists did. Matey considered Hilda in silence – and Hilda forced herself to remain still and quiet under that scrutiny. She knew, and Matey knew, that she would get her own way, because she was right. Fretting over her outstanding work was as bad as working too hard. But Matey’s face gave away none of this.

“You’re out of your tiny mind,” she said tersely. “The nurse in me says to send you to bed, or lock the doors, but my own common sense is at odds with the nurse, for once.” She glanced down at her watch. “I see no reason why Ellie can’t get up. I’ll give you both till Kaffee und Kuchen.”

Hilda’s eyes lit up at her friend’s grudging agreement. “You must have read the few brain cells remaining in my head, Matron dear. I have something arranged for exactly that time. So perhaps you’d care to come along to the study and make sure we poor frail flowers are up to some excitement.”

“Not too sure about the excitement, but I’ll certainly come to make sure you’re not fainting all over the place and being a nuisance,” said Matey distantly.

Hilda sighed. “You’re impossible!” She watched Matey cut up Ellie’s meat and then hand her plate and fork. “Er… I’ll just slip up to Ellie’s dormitory and find her something to wear, shall I? Somehow I don’t think you’d approve of nightwear for wandering around corridors.”

Matey simply nodded, her forbidding silence speaking volumes. Hilda winked at Ellie and disappeared through the door. When she returned, arms full of jeans and sweater and undergarments, Matey had disappeared and Ellie was drinking her coffee.

She looked at Hilda. “Matron said to tell you there’s your coffee. She also said to tell you not to be too silly, that tomorrow is also a day.”

She said all this with an absolutely straight face, but then caught Hilda’s sardonic eye and giggled. Hilda glared at her. “You’re enjoying all this, aren’t you, petite friponnne? Watching your elders and betters being held up to ridicule!”
Author:  MHE [ Fri May 23, 2008 12:25 pm ]
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Lovely picture Mary

Thank you
Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri May 23, 2008 12:43 pm ]
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LOLOL! Like Ellie, I love these exchanges between two very formidable women. I love how Hilda is doing a Verity - speaking so gently that it takes a moment for it to actually click what she's saying, and winding Matey up so beautifully. "Frail flowers" indeed! *cackle*
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri May 23, 2008 1:36 pm ]
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thanks Mary

Quote:
Hilda
She scrubbed hard at her cheeks to get the blood flowing, and then shook her head ruefully. Who would she be kidding? Not Gwynneth, that was for sure!

Gynneth
But you seem rather flushed – been at the rouge to hide your white cheeks from me?”




Love the interaction between them. and Hilda's response to Ellie at the end.
Quote:
She said all this with an absolutely straight face, but then caught Hilda’s sardonic eye and giggled. Hilda glared at her. “You’re enjoying all this, aren’t you, petite friponnne? Watching your elders and betters being held up to ridicule!”


:lol: :halo: :lol: :halo: :lol: :halo: :lol: :halo: :lol: :lol: :halo: :lol: :halo:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri May 23, 2008 1:38 pm ]
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Oh lovely - how these two do enjoy their sparring matches, and how Ellie enjoys watching them!!! I love the way Matey allowed her 'common sense' to outweigh 'the nurse in her', there. I suspect that Ellie will be very quick to say something if she thinks her beloved guardian is beginning to get too tired - after all, she must have picked up on the hint of a special treat planned for kaffee und kuchen, and won't be minded to have it cancelled because Hilda is too tired!

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Celia [ Fri May 23, 2008 1:44 pm ]
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Another varied word picture where the love flows between Hilda and
Ellie, and Matron delivers the terse but loving comments at which Nell used to excel.

There is a rapport between Hilda and Gwynneth which is helping the
former a lot I think.

Thank you Mary
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri May 23, 2008 1:59 pm ]
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Lovely Mary. Thanks :D
Author:  Fi [ Fri May 23, 2008 3:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
Hilda
She scrubbed hard at her cheeks to get the blood flowing, and then shook her head ruefully. Who would she be kidding? Not Gwynneth, that was for sure!

Gynneth
But you seem rather flushed – been at the rouge to hide your white cheeks from me?”


:lol: Of course Matey would see through this. Joey couldn't fool her with that trick either.

I'm glad that Ellie is feeling better. It's so lovely to see the interaction between her and Hilda.

Thanks Mary
Author:  Luisa [ Fri May 23, 2008 4:00 pm ]
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lovely to see Ellie's sense of mischief returning, as well as the by-play between Hilda and Matey.

Thanks Mary
Author:  Tara [ Fri May 23, 2008 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She knew, and Matey knew, that she would get her own way, because she was right. Fretting over her outstanding work was as bad as working too hard.
So good to see Matey so aware of the realities of Hilda's life. Loved Hilda trying to hide her pale cheeks, even though she knew it wouldn't work :D .
Quote:
I’ll certainly come to make sure you’re not fainting all over the place and being a nuisance,” said Matey distantly.
Love it! The byplay between these two must be a tonic for Ellie in itself.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat May 24, 2008 2:53 am ]
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Hilda vs. Matey is lovely!

Hope Matey gets her way eventually, though, or even Hilda may succumb to "fainting all over the place and being a nuisance." Such wording. :lol:
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Sat May 24, 2008 7:20 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't know who takes the most care of whom; Hilda of Ellie, Ellie of Hilda, or Gwynneth of the pair of them !
It is an amazing and fruitful support system indeed.
Author:  di [ Sat May 24, 2008 8:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Fabulous, I love the exchange between Hilda and Matey and think it also does Ellie some good also.
Thank you, Mary
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sun May 25, 2008 12:58 pm ]
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Delightful! The lovely mutual support and affection between Hilda and Gwynneth simply shines off the page - and it is so apparent that Ellie enjoys and benefits from it too. A whole world opf love and affection ois revealed in these exchanges and allows us to get to know these people so well. And the thing is Mary, that you write them so well that they are always clear and distinctive individuals - and that's no easy thing to do.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon May 26, 2008 1:15 pm ]
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Ellie is not the only one that is enjoying the rapport between Matey and Hilda :lol:
Author:  MaryR [ Wed May 28, 2008 2:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank you for your lovely comments. Seems strange to be around this late at night (or this early in the morning :? ), but as sleep seems to be in rather short supply, Hilda suggested we mosey along here for company.... :wink:

.....She looked at Hilda. “Matron said to tell you there’s your coffee. She also said to tell you not to be too silly, that tomorrow is also a day.”

She said all this with an absolutely straight face, but then caught Hilda’s sardonic eye and giggled. Hilda glared at her. “You’re enjoying all this, aren’t you, petite friponne? Your elders and betters being held up to ridicule!”

“Mais bien sûr, Madame. It is fun. I have not the habit of my teachers speaking like this to one another – or to the girls, in the way you do at Assembly or in class. I think we are much more formal in France.”

“Maybe, child, but don’t forget that you’re in the privileged position of being close to the Headmistress so you’re seeing a side to us that most girls don’t ever see,” warned Hilda. “Matron and I, or Miss Knowles and I, are much more relaxed with each other in front of you than we would normally be with a pupil.” She laid the garments on the bed. “Now, let’’s see if we can get you into these without hurting that hand.”

As she helped Ellie remove her nightie and put on her clothes, she said slowly, “I’ve been thinking, chérie. Are you desperate to finish something in those notebooks of yours – or are you willing to do something for me?”

“But, of course, Madame. Anything! What would you like?”

Hilda gently eased the injured hand through a sleeve, then searched Ellie’s face. “Perhaps you could answer a question for me first. After the audience’s reaction to your performance in the Talent Contest, do you still feel your work is not good enough to show to your aunt?”

The question clearly startled Ellie, for a frown creased her forehead. “I don’t know what you mean…”

“Well, yesterday you told me you hadn’t shown your aunt anything of your art work as you felt it was too poor, compared to hers. But I told you yesterday how very much in awe I am of both your writing and drawing, and the school showed you last night what they think of it all. So, I’m wondering if you would now be prepared to see what your aunt thinks of it.” Ellie’e eyes were glued on Hilda’s face, and the latter reached out and stroked her cheek. “Calme- toi, petite – I’m not about to ask for the moon. But how would it be if you spent this afternoon turning that tale of the Christmas cats into an illustrated story book for the convent? I’m sure you would be the best judge of how to do it, with your artistic gifts.”

“Are you serious?” whispered Ellie, her eyes wide with disbelief.

“Never more so, child,” answered Hilda, and took her ward gently by the shoulders. “You are enormously gifted, Ellie – in a way given to very few – and I think it’s time you shared those gifts with those who helped you when you first arrived in England. Would you be willing? I can’t begin to describe what pleasure you will offer them by doing so. They will all be so proud of you.”

Ellie’s eyes were now lit up like stars. “Do you really think they would like such a book?”

“Oh, I promise you, they will be ecstatic. They would like it anyway because they love you, Ellie, but when they see just how clever you are, they will be as stunned and amazed as I was and am. Mother Abbess will be all over you when she sees those pictures of herself,” Hilda added mischievously. “I’d love to be a fly on the wall and watch her reactions as she reads it. With your permission, I would also like to send copies of the stories you wrote for me. They are far too good to be hidden away.”

Ellie’s radiant eyes stared into Hilda’s loving gaze for long moments, and then she leaned into her guardian. Hilda folded her arms round the slim figure and held her close. She knew how little Ellie had been encouraged in her past life and Hilda was determined that would change. “It’s alright, petite, I understand,” she whispered. “You still don’t quite grasp how talented I think you are, do you?”

Ellie shook her head and Hilda smiled. “Well, you are, and I’m going to prove to you that other people think so as well, especially your aunt. Imagination and creativity must run rampant in your family, if you two are any example.” Ellie raised her head and Hilda saw the tears. “Bless you, child, there’s nothing to weep about, just much to be thankful for. Now, I’m going to phone through to Miss Yolland and ask her to bring a selection of paper and other crafty stuff to the study and you can choose what you’d like to use to make your book, so find your pencils and notebooks while I do my phoning.”

Thirty minutes later they were settled in the study, Ellie comfortable on the couch with a small table before her, and Hilda at her desk. Ellie was soon fathoms deep in her task and Hilda was able to pick up where she had left off after Ian’s visit the day before. She too was soon fathoms deep, and a comfortable silence enveloped the room, a silence undisturbed even by the tramp of feet past the door and on towards the Hall. Just to be together was enough.

Occasionally, Hilda would lift her head to watch Ellie, and wonder at the love in her heart for this gifted yet lonely child. By what strange alchemy had they been brought together here to this spot at this time, two people who had been complete strangers to each other less than two months ago? Nell had been a scientist – was hers the invisible potion? And did it now mean she had to let Nell go?

We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned
So as to have the life that is waiting for us.
(Joseph Campbell)

Ellie and the convent were the life waiting for her – Nell was the life she had once lived and had planned to go on living. She smiled sadly at the thought of life itself moving on without that strong and vivid presence and then shook her head. Not yet could she let her friend go. She forced her attention, and her pummelled heart, back to the the letter she was reading.

Occasionally, Ellie would look across and watch Hilda’s face as it bent over her work – and wonder why she mattered so much to such an important and busy woman as her guardian, one with so many good friends. What was different about her Headmistress that she could take to her heart a rude and difficult girl who seemed to cause more trouble than she was worth? Abruptly, Ellie rose to her feet and padded stealthily across the room, to stand beside the slim figure in the grand chair. Hilda laid down the form she was frowning over, leaned forward to pick up her pen, and then started as she became aware of Ellie at her side.

“Goodness, child, you move quietly,” she murmured, leaning back in her chair. “How’s it going?”

Ellie laid something down in front of Hilda and the latter picked it up, then turned in astonishment to Ellie. “You did this – with one hand? In the short time we’ve been here? You’re a mirace worker, child.”

Hilda looked down at what she was holding. It was a booklet put together with coloured paper, but not an ordinary booklet. Somehow Ellie had cut the cover, and all the pages inside, into the shape of two cats curled up together, their heads close and their tails forming the edges of the pages. She had then cut narrow strips of dark and light grey paper and curled them with her scissors before laying them on the figures, so now they were cats in 3D, with tabby stripes of ruffled fur, and sharp pointed ears inlaid with soft pink. Their eyes shone brightly, fashioned out of circles of gold card; their long silver whiskers glinted in the lamp light.

“Ellie, it’s beautiful,” cried Hilda, awe-struck. “How you imagine such things, like poetry made visible…. I don’t think you really needed any art lessons from Miss Knowles at all at Christmas, did you? Just wait until she sees this!”

“You really like it, Madame?” asked Ellie shyly.

For answer, Hilda put her arm round her and drew her close. With her other hand she turned back the cover and saw Ellie had also started on the contents – some of the pages already had hand-written sheets stuck in, with parts of the story transcribed, and there were those amazing sketches, some sprawled over the words, some set on their own beside the words. Both writing and sketches had little cat footprints marching round them as borders.

Hilda was awed. “Ellie, I can’t begin to tell you how pleased I am I asked you to do this,” she whispered. “Each time I see your work I find it more astonishing. Your aunt and Mother Abbess will treasure it, I promise you.” She turned her face to Ellie and kissed her cheek. “I think one day, petite, you will make your mark in a big way on the waiting world. Tell me, are you sure you want to be a translator?”

Ellie frowned and Hilda added, “I think you have a fine future as a writer and illustrator, my dear. Children’s books, fairy stories for all ages…. The world is your oyster, Ellie, with talents such as yours. We need to make sure we nurture them correctly.”

Such joy pierced Ellie’s heart that she buried her face in Hilda’s neck, speechless. For a child who had had nothing, it was overwhelming to discover just how rich she was. Hilda held her closer in silence, unwilling to violate that silent moment of supreme and unalloyed happiness. Ellie deserved her transports of delight.

Soft lips were pressed against Hilda's cheek, a damp face was laid against hers. “I owe it all to you, mon ange gardien, ma bien-aimée,” Ellie whispered.

Hilda shook her head in denial, but enjoyed her own moment of bliss at such closeness, something she thought she had lost with the loss of Nell. But Nell was still around, glimpsed for a fleeting second round so many corners, and she was present in this new relationship somewhere, so Hilda was doubly-blessed…..
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed May 28, 2008 2:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Who was it said "A thing of beauty is a joy for ever" - apart from those who used the line in exercise books designed to teach us copperplate handwriting?!! :) :)

This relationship between Ellie and Hilda is just so reminiscent of that phrase - and as Hilda so truly recognises, it is something which has only come into being in the last couple of months. But how strongly it is flourishing for both of them; Ellie because after so many years of loneliness, she has found someone she can truly trust and love, and Hilda because, in giving her heart so fully to this lonely young girl, she can even start to think of moving on 'after Nell'. And yet, Nell will remain with her forever - she knows it and we know it.

As for Ellie's art - that is truly another 'thing of beauty and one whhich will, I have no doubt, bring as much joy to her aunt and to MA as it does to Hilda and everyone at school - and to us as we read about it, too.

Thank you, Mary - it may be the wee hours of the morning for you, but you have given me a beautifully peaceful end to what has been a somewhat hectic day for me.
Author:  Lesley [ Wed May 28, 2008 7:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Ellie is so immensely talented it's a crime that, until now. she has had no one to encourage her. I'm sure the sisters at the convent will love the book and all Ellie's other work - her aunt in particular.

Hilda seems to be labouring under a misapprehension though - you never let those you love go, not even death stops them from having a place in your heart.

Oh and am seriously impressed by Ellie - able to operate scissors without being able to hold the paper? Very talented! :lol:


Thank you Mary.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Wed May 28, 2008 8:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Hilda has always delighted in nurturing the talents of the girls she has taught... so to be able to do this for a child whose guardian she now is is a double joy and a blessing - but also an immense responsibility.

She will do it with grace and aplomb, but I am sure there will be hiccups along the way......
Author:  di [ Wed May 28, 2008 9:21 am ]
Post subject: 
How tenderly Hilda encourages Ellie; to become part of her, the school, her aunt, the convent and now to share her wonderful talent. [She even encourages you, does she not? :) ] I must admit I found it strange to see how she managed to make the booklet with only one good hand; her injured one must be improving with Matey's administrations. Glad to see, however, that Ellie is in to 'scrapping'. Your description of her work puts mine to shame. :lol:
Seriously though Mary, thank you for a lovely, calm post. Just what I needed after a long journey to Hull and back yesterday.
Author:  Luisa [ Wed May 28, 2008 9:21 am ]
Post subject: 
I could picture the book so vividly - there would be market out there for it Mary, are you going to write it?
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed May 28, 2008 12:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary you say you do not write poetry, but that drabble is like a poem in mant ways.
Thank you it was just the pick up I needed this morning before keeping my appointment.
:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: (to help you sleep tonight)
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed May 28, 2008 2:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
There is a lovely rightness about this relationship and it just keeps on getting better and better. Both Hilda and Ellie are so responsive to the slightest hint of affection from the other, and this mother-daughter relationship is characterised both by strength and a sure delicacy of feeling. Hilda's encouragement of Ellie and her talents is exactly what was needed, and the fruits of that are seen in that truly remarkable booklet - one which I am sure will be appreciated by MA and Ellie's aunt. And I am also sure that Nell will be delighted by it too, and perhaps may be able to indicate her approval in one of theose 'fleeting seconds' of awareness.

Thank you Mary - a joy as always.
Author:  Fi [ Wed May 28, 2008 2:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's lovely to see Hilda relaxing and enjoying herself for a while.
Also very impressed that Ellie can use scissors with one hand.

Thank you Mary.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed May 28, 2008 2:44 pm ]
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Wonderful as always, Mary - couldn't believe the time of your post to start with :shock:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed May 28, 2008 3:27 pm ]
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I was startled to realise that it has indeed only been two months since Ellie and Hilda met - it is wonderful that they have been able to build such closeness so quickly, so as to minister to the other's need.

Maybe the hand hurt was not Ellie's main hand - after all, it's the finger she's hurt, not the whole hand, if I remember rightly. So long as the pain is managed and she's got it strapped up, she'd be able to do a fair amount. My brother broke one of his fingers last week and has been able to do just about everything he'd normally do.
Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Wed May 28, 2008 3:58 pm ]
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Just right. Just so. Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Elbee [ Wed May 28, 2008 4:32 pm ]
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Thanks for the lovely, peaceful scenes Mary.
Author:  MaryR [ Thu May 29, 2008 2:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
Maybe the hand hurt was not Ellie's main hand - after all, it's the finger she's hurt, not the whole hand, if I remember rightly. So long as the pain is managed and she's got it strapped up, she'd be able to do a fair amount.

Quite right, Lisa. :lol: I said some time ago that Ellie was using her normal right hand to cut those onions and the knife sliced into the other hand - but only into one finger - so she can still hold stuff still with that hand, and of course you only need one good hand to use scissors. :lol: I've done it myself with a broken scaphoid. And anyway, doesn't Hilda call her a miracle worker? :twisted: :twisted:

But bless you for all the loving comments. :wink:
Author:  MaryR [ Fri May 30, 2008 10:53 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm sorry this piece is so long, but there was nowhere to split it really, not without breaking up the mood. :roll:

A tap at the door an hour or so later was unwelcome to both and for a moment their eyes met in complete understanding. Then Hilda smiled and rose to her feet and walked across to Ellie.

“The worlds beckons, my wee flipperling, and wants to intrude on our peace. This must be Kaffee und Kuchen – and also our guests.”

“Guests?” gasped Ellie, startled.

Hilda nodded. “Guests! So I suggest you put away that book you’re making and tidy away your stuff, if you don’t want people to see it before you’ve finished. Perhaps you could make an exception, though, and show Matron Lloyd, as she too finds you talented above the norm.”

She ruffled Ellie’s hair lightly and then walked over to the door, to find Karen outside with a large tray. Hilda smiled her thanks and indicated the low table in front of the couch. Karen had scarcely departed when Matey wandered in and searched Hilda’s face.

“Hmph! I hate to admit it but you’re your own medicine seems to have done the trick much better than mine would have done!” Hilda winked broadly but Matey completely ignored her and turned to Ellie. “You look more rested as well, my dear. Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”

Before Ellie could reply, another tap came at the door, and Hilda ushered in Marianne and Jeanne, one holding her doll and the other her zither, much to Ellie’s complete astonishment. Hilda led them to the cosy corner and they settled shyly in two of the armchairs, while Matey plumped down beside Ellie. Four pairs of eyes quizzed Hilda and she laughed gaily.

“Ellie, last night I gave these two a prize for their performances in the concert, and told them I wanted to hear them both again sometime. But then it occurred to me that you missed thr second half of the concert so didn’t even hear Marianne’s rudeness to her Headmistress.”

There was a strangled sqauwk from Marianne, but Hilda simply bestowed a look of frosty hauteur on her erring pupil, then added, “The girls are doing the concert again this afternoon for the Juniors, but Matey didn’t want you to do more damage to that hand, so I thought I would invite Marianne and Jeanne along to do a turn for us, as I know you liked Jeanne’s music last night.”

Ellie smiled in utter delight, and Hilda breathed a sigh of relief. One of her intentions in inviting Jeanne had been to get the two girls together, in the hope that Ellie might be willing to develop a friendship with one of her compatriots. For Ellie was still very isolated, even after two weeks in the school. One reason was the bullying, Hilda knew, but also her ward was so unwilling to trust anyone that she had made no real overtures to the other girls. Maybe Jeanne, with her gentle serenity, could break through those defences. She herself was rather alone now, as her best friend had left the summer before, so maybe she too could use a new friend. Hilda trembled a little at the thought that maybe she was interfering too much, but she did want Ellie to start relaxing with her peers.

Matey, meanwhile, reading Hilda’s thoughts and eyeing Jeanne and Ellie thoughtfully, settled herself more comfortably and waved her hand. “I’m glad you asked me along, Miss Annersely. No doubt Marianne’s doll will find it in her to be rude to both of us, so let’s find safety in solidarity. I certainly seem to remember hearing my own dulcet tones being bandied about the hall last night.”

The two girls seated in the chairs looked at her in open-mouthed shock. Was this the voice of a tartar; the voice that had the strongest spirit shaking in its shoes? Hilda and Matey glanced at each other and chuckled. The girls’ thoughts were all too easy to fathom. Hilda patted Marianne’s knee.

“Take no notice of her, dear. I give her a new wooden spoon for Christmas every year, because she wears them out so quickly with her stirring.” Matey narrowed her eyes in mock-indignation, but Hilda merely turned and picked up the coffee pot. “Now, girls, before you start, how about that coffee?”

Recovering quickly from her shyness in the gentle informality pervading the room, Jeanne spoke tentatively. “Perhaps you would like me to play while you have your Kaffee und Kuchen, Miss Annersley? Or would you just prefer to talk?”

“Jeanne, that would be lovely, if you really don’t mind. Would you like a higher chair so you can more easily support your instrument?”

When Jeanne nodded, Hilda went across to her desk and wheeled round her own tall-backed office chair. Jeanne had risen to her feet but now blushed rosily at being offered such an exalted seat. Hilda’s laugh rang round the room, and she led Jeanne over and gently eased her into the chair.

“Don’t worry, Jeanne, we won’t tell anyone if you won’t,” she whispered. “And at the end of the day a chair is a chair is a chair. I can assure you it’s supremely comfortable.”

Jeanne had seated herself gingerly, but soon relaxed under Hilda’s quiet teasing and recovered her usual serenity. While Hilda returned and poured out coffee for the others, Jeanne tuned her instrument, and then, when everyone was seated, she began to play, her fingers rippling over the strings and producing music of such gentleness and reflection that the others sat as still as statues, unwilling to disturb, even by one chink of china, the rich and melodious harmonies she was creating. The music absorbed them, as it absorbed the player, whose rapt face was bent over the instrument much as a mother leans lovingly over her baby.

Hilda’s keen eyes travelled from the enthralled faces of the listeners to the tender face of the artist, and enjoyed watching the play of emotions in the quiet, composed face. Satisfied, she gave herself up to the music and to the emotions and memories it evoked. There was silence as the music slowly faded away, and then a concerted sigh of contentment was heard. Hilda sat up and opened her mouth to thank Jeanne – only to be abruptly forestalled.

“That was absolutely beautiful, my dear,” came her own musical tones, but not from her lips. “Matey should prescribe you as medicine for all her patients. I’m sure they would get better much more quickly.”

To say a stunned silence had fallen would have been to put the case mildly. Then, Hilda gasped, Ellie giggled, and Matey dropped on Marianne like a hawk plummetting. “To kill two birds with one stone like that is just asking for a Head’s report, Miss Westwood – or a dose or two of my most potent medicine! My patients would get better much more quickly than what, may I ask?”

Marianne gulped at the tartness of the tone, while Hilda leaned back and laughed lazily. “Oh, I’ve a much better idea, Matron. She can be my own special weapon and I’ll send her out when my presence is required to quell the riots. She sounds more like me than I do myself, if you get my drift.”

Matey tut-tutted. “And you a language specialist. What kind of sentence is that, tell me?”

“Perhaps we should ask her to parse it as a punishment,” came Hilda’s voice again, only with icy tones hovering this time.

One of Hilda’s eyebrows quirked upwards at Marianne, who was looking almost terrified at her own temerity – and suddenly Ellie giggled out loud. “Oh, Madame, but she is wonderful. Why did you not tell me?”

“Why would I tell you of such impertienence in one of my pupils, petite friponne?” came the same icy voice they had just heard from Marianne. “Do credit your guardian with some sense!”

“What sense?” asked Matey tartly. “Asking her here to listen Marianne’s impudence is tantamount to telling her to do the same!”

Hilda’s eyes twinkled across at Ellie. “Oh, she has enough impudence for two herself, and needs no help from others, I do assure you, Matron!”

Ellie sat up with a bang. “Madame!” she gasped. “How could you….?”

“Oh, easily, child,” teased Hilda. “Who was it laughed out loud earlier on today at Matron abusing me and calling me names, eh? I think I have to agree with Socrates: Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers.”

“But, me, I do not gobble my food, I think, Madame!” cried Ellie, stifling her laughter and trying to look offended.

Hilda eyed her consideringly. “No? Well, maybe not!”

Suddenly a tiny, tiny voice piped up shrilly from across the room. “But our teachers tyrannise us, and so do Matrons, so fair’s fair.”

They all stared at Jeanne, still seated in Hilda’s chair. She was waving her hand in the air, or rather Marianne’s sock puppet from the night before, which was clothing her hand. Jeanne herself looked slightly surprised that she was still alive, while the others could only gaze speechlessly. Clearly some planning had taken place before the two girls entered the study!

Before their audience could pull itself together, the tiny voice shrilled out again. “If you have something to say, Miss Annersley, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth. Teachers should be seen and not heard at all times.”

Feeling as though she had completely lost the plot for a second or two, Hilda shook herself, gazed impassively at Matey and said conversationally, “Now she throws her voice, so poor Jeanne gets the blame! I love children, you know, Matron – preferably between two slices of bread and butter. Very tasty!”

“You forgot to raise your hand, Miss Annersley.” The Head Girl’s delightful accents now emanated from the doll on Marianne’s lap. “Please take two order marks.”

Suddenly, Hilda gurgled and then buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with uncontrollable mirth. Matey watched her and could only bless the instinct that had made her Headmistress invite these two girls along for coffee. Laughter was so much more efficacious than all the medicines in the world. All it needed was the addition of Nell’s salty tongue to complete the scene. The three girls were also silent, Ellie giggling to herself, Marianne pondering her likely fate and Jeanne stunned into immobility by her own contribution.

Hilda finally raised her head and rubbed away the tears of laughter trickling down her cheeks. She shook her head and smiled wryly. “There’s a perfectly good explanation for all this – which I’ll make up later and tell you.”

Matron herself chuckled at that and said with asperity, “It’d better be utterly brilliant and unassailable or I’ll have Marianne hemming sheets on Saturday evenings for the duration.”

A new voice joined the discussion. “If I sing for my supper, will I be allowed a Get Out of Jail Free card, please?” asked Miss Moore, her Canadian twang ringing round the room.

Hilda stared in complete confusion and then spluttered. Her eyes glinted as she examined the girl’s merry face. “Marianne, presume not to poke too much fun at your elders and betters – and I hope you sing much better than you treat those elders, or I shall give Matron here free rein in her punishments.”

Ellie leapt in, completely fascinated by Marianne’s mimicry. “Can you sing like Françoise Hardy or Ēdith Piaf?”

Marianne grinned mischievously. “Or even like Sacha Distel! What would you like?”

Ellie gasped and considered. “Scoubidou?”

Before they could blink, Marianne’s doll was singing in French, and the voice that was singing was undoubtedly the mellifluous voice of the French chanteur who was so popular at that moment with young girls everywhere, not just in France. Hilda and Matron stared in astonishment, hardly able to believe their ears. They all knew Marianne had a beautiful voice, but to employ it thus….

“I wonder if Mr Denny or Ruth Lawrence realise just what a voice this girl has – or what an ear?” thought Hilda and determined they would be told in short order.

Without warning, Jeanne’s hands rippled across her strings and music was added to the singing. Not to be outdone, the self-contained Ellie tentatively added her voice to the music. Hilda and Matey simply looked at each other, then sat back and listened. The song ended and then Françoise Hardy’s song, Tous les garcons et les filles began, and again Jeanne’s music and Ellie’s voice were added to Marianne’s deep tones. Hilda watched her ward and saw how her face had come alive, in a way rarely seen among her peers. Her face held a hint of colour and her eyes were sparkling, the fingers of her right hand clicking in time to the music as she sang along.

The girls forgor where they were and moved from one song to another, enjoying their harmonies. Hilda relaxed into the music, surprising herself by her enjoyment of it. Never had her study seen or heard anything like it before, but her heart was deeply, deeply thankful. Ellie was waking up, joining in, willing to be part of something, belonging…..

Matey, meanwhile, watched Hilda and saw the tension seep away from the weary face, saw the soft light in the blue-grey eyes as they focused on Ellie. The girl had discovered a new freedom this afternoon, thanks to Hilda and Marianne. Matey’s eyes moved to the youngest girl there. She had noticed the love in Marianne’s eyes whenever she looked at her Headmistress, love that Hilda surely deserved, for her generous and sympathetic nature had worked hard to change the girl.

Matey remembered the exquisite peg doll, now reposing in the glass cupboard in the entrance hall, the first sign of Marianne’s change of attitude. Hilda would never realise all she had done for the Fifth former, but others saw and noted. And Hilda had deliberately lowered the barriers during this meeting so that Jeanne would relax and be able to approach Ellie as a friend, without worrying about her being the Headmistress’s ward.

Oh yes, thought Matey admiringly, Hilda had ‘done good’, in her usual quiet and understated way, and Nell would be so proud of her.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri May 30, 2008 11:04 am ]
Post subject: 
The length was just fine Mary, thank you :lol: - in fact, as we are never satisfied, I doubt anyone would have complained had it been longer.

A lovely post, and so glad Hilda has been able to relax and begin to lose her headache. The songs took me back, too - I'm humming Tous les garcons as I type :lol: :lol:
Author:  clair [ Fri May 30, 2008 11:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary, that was fabulous. Having Hilda so relaxed, which she certainly needed, to make sure the girls relaxed and all for Ellie. This is inspired writing at it's best
thank you
Author:  Lesley [ Fri May 30, 2008 11:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Marianne is extremely brave! Perfect length Mary - but I do wonder at the termerity of those two girls - not just on a stage but actually in the Head's own office. Love the reaction from Jeanne about sitting in Hilda's chair - and pleased that Ellie is starting to make friends.


Thank you.
Author:  MHE [ Fri May 30, 2008 11:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary that was fabulous.

I'm glad I was in the office by myself as I was giggling wildly at the scene you so cleverly described.
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri May 30, 2008 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary Thank you. :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:

Quote:
Oh yes, thought Matey admiringly, Hilda had ‘done good’, in her usual quiet and understated way, and Nell would be so proud of her.


As have you with this beautiful post.

:D :D :D :halo: :halo: :halo: :D :D :D
Author:  shazwales [ Fri May 30, 2008 12:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you that was brilliant.
Is this the first time that a ventriloquist has been featured in the CS?
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri May 30, 2008 12:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary that was so lovely. Thank you so much for the beautiful post. I'm glad Ellie was able to relax with all three girls. They'll be able to do something for Ellie that Hilda with all her love and acceptance can't do and that's help her become one of the girls at the Chalet School
Author:  Fi [ Fri May 30, 2008 1:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Marianne is very clever.
I hope that Ellie can find some acceptance among the girls soon. It's not been easy for her because of settling into a new environment and then being out of school with her injury but surely her performance at the talent show will help others to feel more at ease with her. It can be difficult being the daugher/ward of the person in charge because the other girls can be reluctant to trust you. I speak from personal experience.
Thank You Mary.
Author:  dackel [ Fri May 30, 2008 1:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm wishing I'd been there to hear it myself!
Author:  di [ Fri May 30, 2008 1:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fabulous writing, Mary. I found myself alongside Hilda, Matey and the girls, watching and hearing their wonderful talent. I should think they've done more than just break the ice with Ellie; she will have some solid support to counter the bullying when she returns to school. Thank you :)
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri May 30, 2008 2:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was fabulous, Mary - just fabulous. I was *there* in that study, watching, listening, and enjoying the whole experience. So many wonderful touches - if I commented on all of them, my post would be very lengthy! So I will just content myself with rejoicing in two things. First, the way this peaceful afternoon, together with this treat, have helped Hilda to relax far more than she would have done by simply spending the afternoon in bed (and well done Matey for acknowledging this to herself). Second, seeing Ellie more at ease with two of her schoolmates than we have seen her so far - surely a step in the right direction, even if it's a tentative one so far, but certainly one which will counteract the fear left by Meg's bullying tactics. And it seems her musical talent may be on a par with her writing and artistic ones.

Too long? No way - as Abbeybufo said, we could have gone on enjoying it for even longer!

Thank you, Mary, for another wonderful treat.
Author:  Sarah [ Fri May 30, 2008 2:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fantastic Mary, as usual! I really felt like I was there! And so funny too! I love it! :D
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Fri May 30, 2008 3:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
the length of this was perfect !
Author:  Luisa [ Fri May 30, 2008 10:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hear Hear!
Though i'd never have had the nerve to sit in my headmistress's chair!
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sat May 31, 2008 2:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jeanne and Marianne are both talented and intelligent - and have a very good grasp of just how far they can go in this unusual situation. They have not only benefitted Ellie, but Hilda as well as this relaxed happiness can only be beneficial to everyone. And as Hilda notes, it is very possible that this will result in closer ties between Ellie and her companions - certainly the way in which they were able to harmonise musically sets a very promising precedent. And if Jeanne's and Marianne's reactions to the 'gentle informality' ('I love children, you know, Matron – preferably between two slices of bread and butter'indeed!!) 'is anything to go by, Hilda has been able to establish a closer relationship with two of her seniors, whom she quite obviously trusts.
They are all so plainly enjoying themselves, and learning about one another - and as Matey comments to herself it is all due to Hilda dn her capacity for putting people at their ease.
Thank you Mary - this was splendid!
Author:  MaryR [ Sat May 31, 2008 4:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm so pleased you enjoyed that study scene with a difference. :lol: I had such fun writing it.


The impromptu entertainment was brought to an end a few songs later when a tap was heard at the door. Hilda was feeling so relaxed that she was forgetful of the informality of the scene before her, and simply sat up and called for the person there to enter. When she saw who it was, though, she came back to earth with a bump and rose rapidly to her feet.

“Mireille, Erica, is there a problem?” she asked anxiously.

The two girls stood hesitantly in the doorway. Mireille shook her head. “No, Miss Annersley, but we wondered if we could present Ellie’s prize to her, as she couldn’t be there last night to receive it?”

Ellie gasped as Mireille held up the picture. “I won a prize?” she asked in astonishment.

Hilda spun round. “Ellie, my dear, I wanted this to be a surprise for you – and then forgot all about it with everything else that has happened today. Yes, they chose you as one of their three prize winners last night, though I had no idea when they planned to present it to you. Come in, girls,” she added hospitably.

She ushered them over to join the company and then pulled Ellie to her feet. “I’m sure you’d rather receive this here than in the full glare of the school tomorrow morning at Assembly, child?” she teased and Ellie nodded heartily.

Mireille laughed. “I think I’d agree with you, Ellie. But everyone loved your performance and all the prefects felt you thoroughly deserved one of the prizes, especially when you had hurt yourself. So here it is, courtesy of Miss Derwent.”

She handed over the little painting and Ellie exclaimed her delight over it. “It is so lovely, with its decorated frame. What a clever artist she is! Thank you so much, Mireille,” she added prettily and everyone in the room began to clap, causing her cheeks to flush rosily.

“Won’t you sit down, girls?” asked Hilda, indicating the chairs. “Matron Lloyd and I have been receiving a lesson in modern music – and to our surprise we discovered what fun it is.”

“Speak for yourself, Miss Annersley, please,” muttered Matey frostily.

Everyone laughed at the grimace Hilda darted at Matey, but Mireille cleared her throat nervously. “We were wondering if Ellie could perhaps join us for Abendessen tonight, Miss Annersley? Erica here has promised to look after her. We’ve all missed her and I believe we’re having rather a special meal.”

Hilda considered her and then looked at Ellie’s pleading face and Matey’s forbidding one. “Karen has indeed promised to make Abendessen something a little different, since you’ve all been stuck inside, though I have no idea what’s on the menu. What do you think, Matron?”

Matey saw that the girls had really not given her much choice, and she was honest enough to admit that Ellie herself looked so much better after this afternoon’s entertainment that, with a little care, she should be fine. Also, it would give her a chance to build on these budding relationships. She shrugged her shoulders. “Why not? If she promises to guard that finger with her life, she may go.”

The next instant she was engulfed in a hug from Ellie. “Thank you, thank you, Matron – I promise to be good!”

“I’ll sit by her and do my best to protect her from any knocks,” said Erica quietly.

“And if she allows me to sit the other side, I too will help,” put in Jeanne quietly. Ellie smiled at her with pleasure and Hilda could have hugged Jeanne, for Ellie still had reservations about poor Erica.

She looked at Ellie. “But you can’t go in to dinner in those clothes, child.” She turned to Mireille. “Could you and Erica take her upstairs and help her change into her velveteen? It will need to be done carefully, or Matron might change her mind. She changed the dressing today and the hand’s quite sore. Are you able to spare the time, though, Mireille?”

“Of course,” agreed Mireille. “You let us off our duties today, so I’m free, now the concert is over. And as to Ellie’s hand, it’s a little early for everyone else to be changing yet so there will be no one around to bang into her.”

Ellie handed her prize to Hilda, and turned to Marianne and Jeanne. “I have had a wonderful, wonderful time here and the singing was just…. merveilleux! Marianne, I hope Miss Annersley won’t be too cross with you,” and she darted a quick, teasing glance at Hilda.

Hilda stared back at her impassively. “Behave, imp – or Matey will send you to bed on bread and water, instead of allowing you into the feast!”

Ellie turned to the girl holding the zither. “Jeanne, thank you for the music – and for offering to help me. A toute à l’heure.”

Hilda also smiled on the two girls who had spent the last few hours with her. “I want to offer my thanks as well, girls. I’ve had a lovely time and I can see Ellie has. I don’t think she’s thought of her finger once. Perhaps we could do it again some time.”

The girls looked at her in total surprise but felt their hearts glow within them at such praise. Matey offered her own thanks and they went off, still a little shell-shocked at what had transpired, to their respective common rooms.

“Off you go with Mireille and Erica, petite, and I’ll see you when you’re changed.”

Hilda sent them off and stood in the doorway watching them disappear up the stairs. As she did so, she shivered, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, sudden chills chasing each other up and down her spine. Abruptly, a terrible sense of foreboding, of fear, swamped her spirit. She wanted to rush off after Ellie and drag her back to the safety of the study.

“Hilda, what is it?” asked Matey sharply, noticing her face whiten.

Hilda hugged herself, rubbing her upper arms with her hands. “Someone walking over my grave,” she murmured, and then a look of total dismay filled her eyes. “Dear God, Gwynneth, did I really say that? When Nell is….”

She stopped, shivered again. “It’s okay, love, I understand,” Matey replied quietly. She took Hilda’s arm. “Here, come back in and have some more coffee – or I’ll make some tea, if you prefer.”

With one last, despairing glance up the now-empty stairs, Hilda went back in the study and Matey closed the door….
Author:  Lesley [ Sat May 31, 2008 4:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Nice one Mary - and really Hilda's foreboding is only natural - but you do have to allow your babies to spread their wings - and that is just an expression - however much it might engender guilt.


BTW COT - has Hilda ever considered visiting Nell's grave? Or is that too much for her?


Have a lovely time in France, Mary.

Lesley
x
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat May 31, 2008 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Have a lovely time in France - we're not going there again until September :(

Think you're hiorrible for leaving it there :evil:

But lovely for giving us even this tiny bit before your departure :lol:

Thanks Mary :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat May 31, 2008 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary enjoy your hoiday and come back refreshed. Thank you for your lovely posts this week.
(((Mary and Ray)))
:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  dackel [ Sat May 31, 2008 4:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, how can leave it there? :shock:

Have a lovely time in France - I hope you have nice weather.

We'll just have to be patient... :roll:
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Sat May 31, 2008 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
many thanks for finding the time to post this amongst all the preparations for your holiday !

I'm still tempted to borrow the posting stick for keeping us all on tenterhooks, though :wink:

Have a good, safe and restful holiday, and may the plot bunnies give you lots of inspiration.........
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sat May 31, 2008 8:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
And we have to wait for you to come home to find out what happens next and why Hilda felt as if 'someone had walked over her grave'? Now who is leaving us on a cliff??!!! :) :)

Never mind, you have left us with this wonderful study scene to read and enjoy once again, and the prospect of Ellie looking forward to the special supper with the rest of the girls to sustain us in your absence. Have a wonderful, peaceful holiday in France, and may the plot bunnies - and the French countryside - provide you with loads of inspiration while you are away.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Sat May 31, 2008 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Have a lovely holiday Mary - and we'll hope that the cliff is only the size of Gloucester's in Lear. Somehow I doubt it though.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 4:25 am ]
Post subject: 
:shock: I fell right off that one.

*hopes Hilda is wrong for once*
(not much hope though)
Things were going so beautifully, too....

Thank you, Mary. Have a wonderful break!
Author:  di [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Good to see the girls taking Ellie under their wings. Hopefully they'll be around to protect her from whatever is to come next; Hilda's senses are usually correct!
Thank you, Mary. Have a lovely break in France and I hope you come back well refreshed. :)
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Glad you squeezed that update in before you go. The girls were lovely there with Ellie.

Have a great trip Mary
Author:  Celia [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Such lovely writing Mary. The peaceful time and the fun time both so
clearly painted for our delectation.

I do hope that Hilda's premonitions are unfounded :cry: but suspect
that more rough water is ahead .

Hope you have an enjoyable and peaceful holiday, and return with
lots of French bunnies to keep Luisa's one company :twisted:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
What a beautiful scene in so many ways, but now I'm rather dangling on a edge of one of those Mary-style sorta but not really a cliff...

Enjoy France! :D
Author:  Catherine [ Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you, Mary.

When I couple Hilda's sense of foreboding with the remark about Vivien having no idea of the circumstances in which she would next see Ellie (or something!), I'm filled with a sense of foreboding myself!! I do hope you're not going to kill Ellie off ...

*wibbles*
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Catherine wrote:
I do hope you're not going to kill Ellie off ...

:shock: :shock: :shock: Gosh! Don't put ideas in my head, Catherine! :lol: :

Lisa_T wrote:
but now I'm rather dangling on a edge of one of those Mary-style sorta but not really a cliff...

:shock: :? :shock:
Want to borrow a harness, Lisa? :wink:


.....With one last, despairing glance up the now-empty stairs, Hilda went back in the study and Matey closed the door….

As the three girls mounted the front stairs, the two younger girls having been granted permission by Hilda, Ellie regaled the others with tales of Marianne’s mimicry. Clearly she had been much impressed and Erica and Mireille thought to themselves that they had never seen the Abbess’s ward quite so animated. She was a different girl from the self-contained, quiet creature they had seen so far since term began, although they both had to admit she had shown yet another side of herself during her performance the night before.

Entering the dormitory, Ellie went over to her cubicle. “If you could pull my curtains closed, Erica, I will find my stockings, non?” and she leaned down to pull out a drawer.

“I’ll find your velveteen in the wardrobe, shall I?” asked Mireille, and headed across the room, only to spin round and sprint back when she heard a sudden cry from Ellie.

She pulled back the curtain Erica had just drawn. Ellie was staring at the top of her bureau in shock. “Mes photos!” she whispered. “Elles sont toutes disparues! Mes photos de Maman…. de Madame…”

Mireille looked. It was true. The top of the bureau, which she remembered as holding several photos in frames, was bare. Every last photo had gone! She quickly walked round the room scanning the other bureaux but none of the photos and knick-knacks there resembled Ellie’s. She heard a drawer being pulled open, then another cry from Ellie.

“The photos I had in here…they have gone too…” She scrabbled through all her drawers and then stood up, empty-handed, her face as white as the sheets on her bed. “But… they are the only ones I have of maman…. who could have…..?”

She stopped, frowned and then suddenly hissed angrily. “Meg!”

Mireille eyed her anxiously. Ellie’s face was ashen, but her eyes were twin blazing blue fires. Her hands were balled into fists and suddenly one of them banged down hard on the bureau, making the other two girls jump. “Meg has taken them. She warned me…. she said….”

She stopped, her face changed and she turned and moved swiftly towards the door. But Mireille guessed her intent and reached out to take her arm. “Ellie! No! Not this way!”she cried, wondering what to do for the best.

Ellie’s arm was rigid, her whole body shaking with rage. Mireille realised there would be murder done if she allowed her through that door. Ellie tried to tug her arm away but Mireille was strong and held on to her firmly, though not attempting to take the injured arm in case she hurt Ellie.

Ellie struggled fiercely against the restraint. “Let – me – go!” she hissed angrily, and Mireille caught her breath at the malevolence she saw in the sapphire eyes.

Ellie continued to fight against Mireille, and opened her mouth to hurl angry words at her. But then, all at once, her resistance melted away, and she stood perfectly still as though turned to stone. She was remembering another time, another place, when rage had overtaken her completely and she had physically hurt the one she loved. She heard Madame’s voice in her head. Madame had taught her that anger was not the way.

She stood irresolute, pulled every which way by her emotions, but then shook her head. She was the injured party here. She would not keep silent and reign in her anger any longer. Meg had gone too far. It was time to fight back, to strike back at her persecutor, instead of tamely turning away.

She came back to life and tried once more to free herself, but that moment of stillness had given Mireille time to think. She moved round, took Ellie by the shoulders, looked her straight in the eye.

“Ellie, I know some of it,” she said in rapid French. “Erica has told me what she overheard. Leave it to me. I’m the Head Girl. I can say and do things you can’t.” Ellie struggled half-heartedly, but something in Mireille’s steady gaze was penetrating the coruscating anger boiling inside her. “Sit down on the bed – stay with Erica. I’ll go and get you some water. Take some deep breaths while I’m gone…”

She ran quickly to the bathroom, and returned with a glass of water, but Ellie by now was shaking with reaction and the water would have gone everywhere if she had taken it, so Mireille held it to her lips. At first Ellie’s teeth chattered against the glass, but gradually she calmed down a little and swallowed some of the liquid. Mireille looked at Erica, who had been silent through it all, and saw the same incandesecent fire in her eyes that she had seen in Ellie’s. Erica was as ready to demolish Meg as Ellie had been, and yet she was normally a fairly placid girl and not one to lose control of herself like this.

“No, Erica,” said Mireille quietly, “you must leave it to me. After all, it may not be Meg.” Erica glared at her. “I know. Her reputation goes before her, but there’s a big difference between using words to hurt someone and stealing from them like this.”

She looked down at Ellie, who was now staring at her pleadingly, her eyes filled with misery. “Erica will stay with you, Ellie. Try to calm down. Trust me – I’m going to have strong words with Meg Lyall.”

Mireille’s quiet, sensible words had worked their magic on Erica, but the last words roused her anxiety and she said hesitantly, “But, Mireille, surely we should go to Miss Annersely….” She secretly yearned for the Abbess’s calm certainty, her utter determination when there was a problem to be sorted.

But Ellie shook her head vehemently at these words and Mireille spoke sharply. “Not yet! Let me see Meg first, try to sort it out. I don’t want a major row if I can help it.”

She turned and left the dormitory, leaving Erica wondering fearfully if her Head Girl was doing the right thing. Ellie simply sat with her eyes closed, her heart longing for the comfort only Madame could give, and yet not wanting that beloved person to find out what was happening. Suppose Madame blamed her for it all….
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary. I hope Mireille can help and sort out the problem once and for all.

Poor Ellie, I hope that Meg has not distroyed the photographs.

Hilda must be starting to worry that Ellie and the others are taking so long for Ellie to change.

I think Ellie needs her angels as well as Hilda.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Ellie - losing those photographs would have destroyed any reason she may have had. Pleased Mirelle was there and able to get through to her.


Thanks Mary
Author:  Celia [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well at least we shall find out what is happening with Meg. I'm glad
Mirelle was able to restrain both Ellie and Erica altho' one can understand
Ellie's distress and anger at the loss of such precious photos.

Thank you Mary
Author:  linda [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, it is great to have you back from your holiday. :lol: :lol:

What a terrible blow for Ellie. I do hope that Meg has not destroyed the photographs. That would be too dreadful. They are irreplaceable.

Quote:
She looked down at Ellie, who was now staring at her pleadingly, her eyes filled with misery. “Erica will stay with you, Ellie. Try to calm down. Trust me – I’m going to have strong words with Meg Lyall.”


Mireille is certainly showing her strength here. She is demonstrating how right Hilda was to appoint her head girl. I am sure that she can deal with Meg, but I do hope that those photos are safe. Poor Ellie, can life get any harder for her? :cry: :cry:

Thank you for another emotionally charged episode, Mary
Author:  MHE [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
What on earth is Meg thinking!!!!

Definitely a bigger cliff than where you left us before going on holiday Mary!!
Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Me thinks we might be heading for the third expulsion in CS history here... Thanks, Mary. Good trip?
Author:  Sarah [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh poor Ellie! I'm glad she wants to fight for herself though!
I hope Mireille can sort this out.

How was your holiday!
Author:  Fi [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 9:50 am ]
Post subject: 
I hope you had a wonderful holiday Mary, it's lovely to have you back. :D :D :D

I hope Mireille can help to sort out Meg and Ellie's difficulties. Meg will be in serious trouble now; the verbal attacks were bad enough but stealing is in a whole different league.

wheelchairprincess wrote:
Me thinks we might be heading for the third expulsion in CS history here

I agree.

Thanks for the update.
Author:  Luisa [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
OMG! :o
Please don't leave us on the cliff too long - or at least provide a job lot of harnesses....
Author:  Catherine [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
Catherine wrote:
I do hope you're not going to kill Ellie off ...

:shock: :shock: :shock: Gosh! Don't put ideas in my head, Catherine! :lol: :


Umm ... that really wasn't the intention! :?


Thanks for updating - even if you have left us with another cliff! I hope Mireille can sort it out.
Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, Mary. This is certainly a tough problem for Mireille.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
what joy to see you safely home and ND updated !

But poor Ellie ! To lose her beloved photos in such a way...

Please don't keep us teetering on the cliff for too long !!!
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Eeek. I think that harness will be very handy.

Wondering if perhaps it's not Meg at all.... *wibbling*

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  di [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Welcome back, Mary and thank you for the update. Poor Ellie, Meg has got it in for her. Perhaps, Mireille will be able to 'get through' to Meg and make her see the errors of her ways. :?:
Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you, Mary.

But golly! Poor Ellie. Hope Mireille can deal with it -- and that Meg doesn't have some more deeply laid and emotionally destructive plans. (See how I am automatically assuming it is Meg....)
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh what a shock for Ellie, and after such a loving and peaceful time as well. If this is Meg's doing, then it is a cruel and meanspirited act, and ellie anger is so understandable. But how well Mireille coped - she showed a strength of will and an awareness of her own responsibility that is very heartening and underscores just how wise Hilda was to make her Head Girl. And Ellie responds to both the authority and friendship that she exhibits. And I wonder how Hilda will react to this when she hears of it?

Thank you Mary, and welcome back from your holiday - an update from you is always a treat.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was so nasty of Meg. Hope Mirielle can sort it out and get Ellie's photos back
Author:  Tara [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
We are all asuming it's Meg, aren't we - just as Ellie and Mireille have done. I certainly can't think of anyone else (unless Vivien has taken them off to beautify them or something - all right, I'm fantasising!), but the fact that we don't actually know gives added weight to the need to stop Ellie going off with all guns blazing, however understandably. Mireille did really well there, but I think she ought to listen to Erica and go to Hilda. If this is Meg's doing, it is cruel to the point of pathology, and too serious to be dealt with by a pupil, even the Head Girl. All I hope is that the photos haven't been destroyed, that would be truly unbearable.

And after all the shared love and enjoyment, Ellie still thinks Hilda might blame her ... oh dear, poor child.

Thank you, Mary, lovely to have you back.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun Jun 22, 2008 1:53 am ]
Post subject: 
I've been away and have only just had chance to catch up on this episode. Kudos to Mireille for the way she has taken charge and prevented Ellie from wreaking instant revenge on Meg - if, indeed, Meg *is* the culprit here. But no matter who has done this, it is a heartless and unkind action to inflict on Ellie, who has already suffered so many losses - it is no wonder that she is so upset.

I'm glad to see this update - but hope you won't keep us waiting too long perched on the top of this cliff!! :) :)

Thanks, Mary
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fascinating to see the differing opinions as to what Mireille's proper course of action should have been. I leave you guessing for the moment as to what my and Hilda's opinions are. :twisted:

.....She turned and left the dormitory, leaving Erica wondering fearfully if her Head Girl was doing the right thing. Ellie simply sat with her eyes closed, her heart longing for the comfort only Madame could give, and yet not wanting that beloved person to find out what was happening. Suppose Madame blamed her ward for it all, despite her kind words earlier in the term….

Mireille was to find that being Head Girl was no sinecure. It was anger and determination that propelled her down the stairs and along to the Senior Common Room, but, once there, doubts began to assail her. Had Erica been right? Should she have gone to the Abbess? No, the Abbess expected her to act on her own initiative. Tessa always had. Tessa had never seemed to question herself, just got one with the difficulties of her job with that imperturbable steadiness and confidence of hers.

Steeling herself, Mireille opened the door and glanced round quickly. She saw Meg Lyall seated by herself in a corner, reading quietly. Ignoring all the joking remarks coming her way about nonsense verse and lovelorn cats, Mireille went to stand beside Meg, only to find herself completely ignored as the girl turned over a page, as though absorbed in her book.

“May I speak to you alone for a moment, please, Meg?” she asked in a quiet voice that she hoped would not carry to the others in the room.

Meg raised her head lazily. “What could the new Head Girl possibly have to say to a lowly Lower Sixth?” she asked, her manner bordering on insolence.

Mireille held on to her temper. “I would like to speak to you in private about a certain matter. But, if you can’t be bothered to move, then I’ll say it here – and won’t answer for the consequences.”

“Dearie me, you are all fired up about something” Meg taunted her and rose to her feet, clutching her book close to her. “Where shall we have this interesting conversation?”

“We can go to my Study – or simply stand outside the door here, if such is your wish,” replied Mireille abruptly, and stalked off, praying that Meg would follow.

Once outside, she turned on Meg and stared at her steadily, hoping against hope that something would give. But Meg was made of sterner stuff than that. She merely raised one eyebrow, leaned against the wall and folded her arms round her book.

“This will do,” she said easily. “Aren’t you going to give me some clue? Or are you just going to stand there staring at me? I’m not good at reading minds, unlike our esteemed Abbess.”

Mireille considered her, asked in a soft voice, “When did you learn to be quite so nasty, Meg? It seems to be something new you’ve acquired since you entered the Sixth form.” Meg simply shrugged and Mireille asked baldly, “What have you done with Ellie Drake’s photos?”

Meg stared at her, eyes unfathomable, that ironic twist still on her lips. “And why should I have done anything with Ellie’s photos, tell me? What’s happened to them, anyway?”

“They’ve gone missing from her bureau,” replied Mireille through clenched teeth. “All her photos - those in frames on the top and those put away in her drawers.”

Meg’s face remained still. She spoke slowly. “And you think I took them? Why ask me, when there are however many other girls in this school?” Abruptly, her manner changed. She stood away from the wall, her smile died away and she flung back her head, like a horse shying. Her eyes burned into Mireille’s. “What gives you the right, Mireille Morin, to march into the Common room and drag me out like a common criminal? What gives you the right, even if you are the Head Girl, to accuse me of taking those photos, just because….”

She stopped, aware of where her sudden spurt of temper had taken her.

“Just because you’ve been bullying her all term, were you going to say?” asked Mireille softly, relieved to have achieved a reaction. Meg’s face suddenly flamed, her eyes dropped. “Oh yes, I know a lot about your nastiness, Meg. Erica caught you at it and gave you a piece of her mind, didn’t she? She’s been watching you ever since, but saw nothing else and hoped you’d stopped. But then, on Friday afternoon, Ellie was very upset – was it you, I wonder? Is that why she cut herself? And is stealing her photos another way to get at her?”

Meg lifted her head and Mireille caught a gleam of triumph light up her eyes before it was swiftly extinguished.

“Why would I want to get at her?” laughed Meg. “All I did was point out to her that her behaviour is not consistent with the way we do things here; that we don’t try to make ourselves the centre of attention, even if we are the Head’s pampered pet. Look at her behaviour last night in the concert… showing off to everyone in that way.”

“Not consistent with the way we do things here?” echoed Mireille blankly. She gaped at Meg in disbelief. “Mais quelle blague! Ellie’s behaviour has been impeccable,” she blazed. “Whereas yours seems to have been anything but….”

“Goodness, what on earth has she been saying about me?” asked Meg, shaking her head sadly. “Trying to make herself the centre of attention again? Erica overheard me speaking to Ellie just once! Now suddenly I’m the villain of the piece – according to whom? Ellie?”

“Ellie has said nothing, nothing at all, about you!” Mireille stated firmly. “She has been a model of reticence about her own doings and about anything you might have said or done to her. That’s the problem, I suspect. You knew you could get away with it. But when one person has been overheard being nasty to another person, and then that other person’s treasured belongings disappear, one tends to make the obvious connection. What have you done with them, Meg? If you return them now, I won’t have to take this any further.”

Meg drew herself up to her full height, looked at Mireille with total scorn. “Take it as far as you like. You won’t find any photos in my possession that don’t belong to me. You know, if Tessa had been here, and had asked me the same question, but in that reasonable tone of hers, I might have been willing to discuss my education of Ellie in the ways of her new school. But you’re nothing compared to her and should never have been made Head Girl.”

Her tone of voice would have made cream curdle, but Mireille stood there and returned her gaze steadily, refusing to back down or to demonstrate any anger at the gratuitous insult.

“Putting aside my abilities or otherwise as Head Girl, do you still refuse to answer my question?” Her voice was soft but insistent.

“You have no right even to ask me such a question so I certainly have no need to answer it. Go look elsewhere for Ellie’s precious photos. You won’t find them anywhere near me.”

With these words, she turned her back on Mireille and moved to the door.

“Then you leave me no choice, Meg,” said Mireille stonily. “I must report this to the Abbess. Stealing is not something I can deal with myself, if the person won’t make restitution and refuses even to consider the charge.”

For answer, Meg opened the door. “Do your worst!” she said airily, and slipped through the door, closing it firmly behind her. Mireille stared at the door, beginning to realise that she may have done more harm than good. Perhaps she should have listened to Erica. With a groan she re-traced her steps to the dorm. Meg was right in one thing. Miss Annersley should never have promoted her.

Tessa, ma très chère amie, why did you have to dive under that bus? We need you. I need you, more than I have ever done. I’m making such a hash of this job of yours. Gillian and I, we miss our partner in crime so much.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
:poke: Meg

How mean of her to be so rotten to Mireille - yet what can be the reason behind it? There's obviously more to her actions than meets the eye.

Thansk Mary - more when you can. please :D
Author:  Celia [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well!!! Meg is obviously very bitter and distressed about something,
but what I wonder? If she did take the photos it sounds as if she may have destroyed them... I hope she's just hidden them somewhere. :shock:

Thanks Mary, but please don't leave us in suspense too long :roll:
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Regardless of whether or not Meg is indeed responsible for taking Ellie's photos, there is a most unpleasant attitude throughout her conversation with Mireille which not only reveals her resentment of Ellie, but also some pretty nasty traits in her own character. As Tara said earlier, her level of bullying verges on the pathological, and must be treated as such.

Mireille has done her best, but given this 'interview' she must now place the whole situation in Hilda's hands without further delay - and I wouldn't be in Meg's shoes for any money once Hilda knows.

Thanks, Mary - please don't keep us waiting too long for the next bit.
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
It sounds as though it's not just Ellie that's causing Meg to be jealous. if her reation to Mirelle is anything to go by. Her response though does show she knows something about the photographs - otherwise she would have been happy to speak in front of all and quickly refuted the allegation with shock and horror. Instead it sounds as though she has destroyed them. :cry:

I don't think Mirelle could have done more - this is definitely a job for the Head. And I think Meg has gone too far. :shock:


Thanks Mary.
Author:  MHE [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Agrees with Lesley and Elder and I too would not like to be in Meg's shoes for all the tea in China!!!!!

Thanks Mary.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Meg certainly took control in that encounter; she was almost too assured in fact, as though she knew what Mireille was about to say, and had responses already in place. And she managed to almost turn the tables by challenging Mireille - hopefully Mireille will now tell Hilda - in fact she has to doesn't she? Meg's bitter and brittle coolness is really something that needs adult wisdom to counter it, and Ellie is clearly at the point where she needs to hear Hilda's comfort and reassurance, two things that Hilda would give her. This is rapidly moving beyond something with which Ellie or Mireille can deal with, and if Meg is responsible for this, then she needs help herself, even though she might not admit it at the moment.

Thank you Mary
Author:  Catherine [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Meg seems to see no wrong in what she's done, which is quite scary. Her behaviour is deserving of the accusation of stealing but if she hasn't done it, she'll be even less inclined towards repentance. Is she jealous of Mireille because Mireille has the Head's backing? Does Meg think Mireille has only remained as Head Girl because she's been friendly with Ellie? Why is Meg so jealous of Ellie's relationship with Hilda ... if she wants Hilda's attention then it would seem she's about to get it but I can't see that it would be the type of attention Meg would want. It certainly won't be approving.

I wonder whether Hilda would have any success with Meg, should there be an 'interview' or whether Meg will simply dismiss it as being 'favouritism' towards Ellie.

And where does Vivien fit into all of this?

So many questions, Mary ... hope we'll get some answers soon! :D
Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Meg was really very nasty there. Mireille had no option but to go to Hilda.

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  di [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with all before me. Mireille couldn't and shouldn't deal with this - it's not as if Meg is a naughty middle, she's the same age almost as Mireille even if she doesn't act like it. Yes, Hilda is definitely the one.
Thanks, Mary.
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary. I do not evey any of the girls in this situation. Meg is being evil to all in authority or with conections to Hilda, and the others are being stressed by it.

Hope Hilda and Matey can sort it out.
Author:  linda [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Tessa, ma très chère amie, why did you have to dive under that bus? We need you. I need you, more than I have ever done. I’m making such a hash of this job of yours. Gillian and I, we miss our partner in crime so much.


Poor Mireille, she is really worried about this situation and feels that she cannot deal with it. Perhaps she was wrong to go straight to confront Meg, who must now feel that she has the upper hand. Mireille must tell Hilda, and now! Meg's behaviour is so insolent and totally out of order. She has to be brought to understand how unacceptable her behaviour has been. Whether or not she is responsible for the disappearance of Ellie's photos. After all, if it wasn't Meg, then who was it?

Thank you Mary for another intriguing post. I do hope we find out what has happened to the photos soon. I can't help thinking the worst.........
Author:  Sarah [ Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Mireille!
Oh how I wish I could do to Meg what she deserves! She is truely nasty! :evil: Although I doubt she is really happy herself....

I think Mireille needs to go straight to Hilda now. She's tried to deal with it on her own, but Meg isn't giving in! This needs Hilda to sort!!!!!!
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
.....Tessa, ma très chère amie, why did you have to dive under that bus? We need you. I need you, more than I have ever done. I’m making such a hash of this job of yours. Gillian and I, we miss our partner in crime so much.

Slowly Mireille climbed the stairs and re-entered the dormitory, to find two white faces staring at her, Ellie’s a mask of misery.

Mireille ran her hand through her hair. “I’m going to Miss Annersley,” she said baldly.

Ellie sprang to her feet, clutched Mireille’s arm. “Mais, non, je t’en prie, Mireille… Madame, she must not know…. she will blame me for losing them…. My aunt, she went to so much trouble….and now they’re gone…. she will blame me as well….. Vraiment, c’est un cauchamar…. a nightmare….”

Erica rose and put an arm round Ellie. Mireille took the cold hands in hers. “It’s not your fault, Ellie - never your fault! In a way, you could say it’s mine, for not reporting this sooner. But really – it’s the fault of whoever took the photos. Stealing is a crime. It’s too big for me to handle on my own. Maybe Tessa could have done it, but I can’t,” she added hopelessly.

Tears flooded Ellie’s eyes as she stared at Mireille. Suddenly a sob escaped her. She sank back on the bed, hid her face in her hands. “It is my fault…. I should have stood up to her…. but she frightened me…. and I have a temper…. I might have hurt her…. She threatened to do things if I told Madame…. so I didn’t….and even when Madame asked me, I wouldn’t say….. and now this….. What am I going to do? I am so weak…..”

She began to weep bitterly. Erica held her close and looked up anxiously at her Head Girl. The latter stood there indecisively, wondering how to comfort Ellie. But then she had the sense to realise that was impossible. Ellie needed someone older and far wiser.

“I’m going to find Matron or Miss Knowles,” she whispered to Erica. “I can’t leave her like this. Perhaps I should just take her to the study.”

“No…ooo,” Ellie sobbed, beside herself with despair.

“No, report it first,” murmured Erica. “Tell Miss Annersley what you know, what you said to Meg, whatever it was. I can see it didn’t go too well. I’ll come with you, if you like, and tell her what I know.”

Mireille nodded, and walked out again, while Erica applied herself to soothing Ellie, to no avail. Minutes later, to her relief, the Science Mistress walked in, smiled kindly at Erica and sat down on Ellie’s other side.

“I’ll see to her now, Erica,” she said quietly. “Go with Mireille, try to help her explain to Miss Annersley why she didn’t report all this earlier. She’s outside waiting for you. Thank you for looking after Ellie.”

Erica realised that Mireille had told Miss Knowles everything, sparing herself not at all. With a quick smile, she rose and left the room to join Mireille, who was looking terrified. They turned and walked away down the corridor and Vivien applied herself to soothing the sobbing girl. There were prayers in her heart for Hilda, who had to sort out the whole sorry mess.

“Petite, you have been so brave,” she whispered, drawing Ellie close to her. “But I think it’s about time you told someone the whole of it. I’m so, so sorry I never realised that you were having trouble. Can you forgive me? And tell me about it?”

Her voice was very tender and Ellie, realising somehow that she was safe at last, laid her head on Vivien’s shoulder and sobbed out her misery.

“Madame wanted me to tell her why I was unhappy….. but I couldn’t….it would have hurt her so much….. She asked Mr Stuart to talk to me yesterday…. I told him all about it and he begged me to tell Madame….. but how could I? Meg said such horrid things about her…. I didn’t want to hurt her…. and anyway…. it’s….it’s my fault for not standing up to Meg…. and now….it’s too late…. and Madame will… b…b….blame me for losing the ph….photos….” She sobbed out loud, clung to Vivien, then raised her tear-stained face. “Even…. Madame’s photo is gone….the one you gave me….”

She broke down completely, sobbing as though her heart would break. Vivien rocked her gently, and wondered if that particular photo was the key to it all.

“Ellie, I can always develop another copy of that photo. But, I assure you, your guardian will find out the truth, as she always does. You will have your photos back. I trust her implicitly and I know you do, too.”

How she prayed that her words about the photos would come true and that they hadn’t already been destroyed. She remembered Ellie’s touching pleasure at seeing the photos of her mother for the first time. Wanton cruelty lay at the base of this crime and Vivien herself could see no mitigating circumstances for any girl who would do such a thing.

She held Ellie closer still. “Madame would never blame you, child. She loves you far too much to do that. She knows why you wouldn’t tell, she understands. I’m sure all she wished was that you trusted her enough. Bullies twist things, Ellie, so that you no longer know what is true. But Madame knows what is true. She knows what a beautiful person you are. Let’s pray quietly for her, and for Mireille and for whoever has done this terrible thing.”

But the sobbing grew wilder and Vivien could only hold the desperate child as close as she could and try to instil some comfort, until Hilda herself could come to be with her. Poor, poor Ellie, Vivien thought sadly. Her new dreams had become malevolent nightmares; all her hopes had turned into ashes, tossed in the wind and blown to the four corners of the earth.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh Mary! Poor, poor Ellie to be so insecure still and so needy in her relationship with Hilda. Even Vivien cannot convince her that Hilda's love is above and beyond things like blame.

Thank you Mary. Looking forward to the denouement :D
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank goodness that Mireille finally realised that this was beyond her ability to deal with, and insisted on going to Hilda. I'm sure that between them, she and Erica will be able to give Hilda a pretty good account of what has been happening. No doubt Hilda will realise just why Ellie would not tell her herself - and, I don't doubt, have some choice words to say about the differences between 'sneaking' and 'reporting'. As for poor Ellie, she's beyond even Vivien's reassurance, because she's so convinced that Hilda will be cross with her - it's sad, though not completely unexpected, to see how shaky her level of trust still is.

Thanks, Mary, like Abbeybufo, I will look forward to seeing the denouement of this episode.
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor little girl - and in this she is a little girl. The love she has for Hilda is so new and overwhelming that she's acting in the same way as a five year old would when left alone for the first time without Mummy. :cry:


Pleased Vivien is there for her and glad Mirelle and Erica are going to speak to Hilda - hope her headache has eased!


Thanks Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
:cry:
I don't know who to feel sorriest for - Ellie with her loss, Hilda having to deal with it all - or perhaps Meg. She must be so unhappy under that chilling exterior.
Don't leave us in suspense too long!
Author:  linda [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank heaven for Vivien, at the moment, perhaps she is Ellie's best hope. The poor girl has just about had enough, it is no wonder she has broken down so completely.

Quote:
“Madame wanted me to tell her why I was unhappy….. but I couldn’t….it would have hurt her so much….. She asked Mr Stuart to talk to me yesterday…. I told him all about it and he begged me to tell Madame….. but how could I? Meg said such horrid things about her…. I didn’t want to hurt her…. and anyway…. it’s….it’s my fault for not standing up to Meg…. and now….it’s too late…. and Madame will… b…b….blame me for losing the ph….photos….” She sobbed out loud, clung to Vivien, then raised her tear-stained face. “Even…. Madame’s photo is gone….the one you gave me….”


Poor Ellie, she is blaming herself for all this and feeling that she has failed Hilda. The love they share is so new, that she is still unable to trust Hilda entirely. Perhaps Vivien will be able to make her understand the difference between 'sneaking' and 'reporting'.

I think Vivien is right to be worried about those photos though. My feelings are that they have been destroyed. I just keep hoping I'm wrong!

I'm so pleased that Mireille and Erica are going to hand this over to Hilda. I think they will find she will be able to make Mireille understand that she has not failed by deciding that she cannot deal with this on her own.

Thank you, Mary. I too look forward to the denouement
Author:  di [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:57 am ]
Post subject: 
At last Meg will finally get het cumuppance, not before time, me thinks. I only hope Hilda will not be too disappointed that she wasn't told earlier.
Poor Ellie, she has suffered so. :cry:
Thanks Mary, that was lovely.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:06 am ]
Post subject: 
I sincerely hope Meg gets her come-uppance this time, Mary !

This has gone beyond mere bullying - which is of course, bad enough - and into something even more despicable and sinister. Poor Ellie certainly did nothing to deserve this.


Meg is bringing Thekla von Stift to mind now.......
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh poor Ellie, still trying to avoid worrying Hilda, and not quite grasping that the best thing she can do for both of them is to let Hilda know. And trying to explain to the others that this is really all he fault reveals just how vulnerable she is. Thankfully Mireille has realised that this has now gone beyond her, and that Hilda must know - ideally, she would already have reported this of course and things would not have got to this point, but she did the best she could given her experience and of course, Ellie's own resistance would have swayed things.
Thank goodness Vivien is at hand to help, even though she realises that only Hilda can comfort and console Ellie now, and will do so - and makes that point obliquely as she reassures Ellie -
Quote:
Madame would never blame you, child. She loves you far too much to do that. She knows why you wouldn’t tell, she understands. I’m sure all she wished was that you trusted her enough. Bullies twist things, Ellie, so that you no longer know what is true. But Madame knows what is true. She knows what a beautiful person you are.

Thank you Mary.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Ellie, I just want to hug her and hold her close like Viviene is and poor Mirielle who now has to talk to Hilda about all this.

Ellie's pain and rejection will always been there. She has been badly hurt for so many years that it will take quite awhile to find healing and peace, I hope she can
Author:  MHE [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Ellie, and poor Mirielle - she must be dreading telling Hilda what's happened but at least Erica is there with her for moral support.

Thank you Mary - looking forward to the next part.
Author:  dackel [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Ellie, I do hope Hilda manages to straighten everything out. I also hope that the photos haven't been destroyed - it would be devastating for Ellie to loose her only pictures of her mother.

Hilda is going to have a right time of it - let's hope she finally manages to get through to Meg and finds out exactly what made her act in such an overly spiteful way.

I'm looking forward to the next instalment already!
Author:  Celia [ Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary for another piece of writing which makes us feel we
are there in the room with Ellie and Vivien,sharing the feelings of grief and loss,and Vivien's desire to help.

Poor Hilda,with so many aspects of this event to be sorted out before
she can go to Ellie :cry:
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
dackel wrote:
Hilda is going to have a right time of it....

Too right, Dackel! :cry: And it's rather a long piece, I'm afraid, and even then it's only half the scene. :oops:

....But the sobbing grew wilder and Vivien could only hold the desperate child as close as she could and try to instil some comfort, until Hilda herself could come to be with her. Poor Ellie, she thought sadly. Her new dreams had become malevolent nightmares; all her hopes had turned into ashes, tossed in the wind and blown to the four corners of the earth.

Hilda, meanwhile, was standing at her desk, tidying up her letters and papers, having finally finished the letter she had been writing when the impromptu concert began. Matey was pouring out the tea she had made after trying in vain to disperse her friend’s seemingly irrational fears. They both jumped when a sudden and violent knocking came at the door. Hilda caught Matey’s eye in alarm and called “Enter.” Instantly the door flew open and their Head Girl fell in the room, followed rather more sedately by a second girl.

“Mireille? Erica?” cried Hilda in total astonishment. “What on earth….?”

“It’s Ellie!” gasped Mireille.

“What about Ellie?” whispered Hilda, all her forebodings rising up anew and rendering her incapable of movement. Matey swiftly set down the teapot and moved to her side.

Mireille gulped. “When we reached her cubicle, she discovered all her photos were missing.”

“Her photos?” echoed Hilda, wondering stupidly if grief had finally turned her brain.

Mireille walked over to the desk, tried to explain. “The ones that sat on her bureau, the photo of you, Miss Annersley, and the ones of her parents. She showed them to me when she received them. She was so proud of them. But - they’ve all gone, even the ones she had stored in her drawers.”

Hilda sank back into her chair, her legs grown suddenly weak. “But… have you searched for them at all?”

“We searched the dormitory, but there’s no sign of them, Miss Annersley. Ellie…. Ellie said she knew who had taken them, and wanted to go and confront this girl, but I told her it was my job as Head Girl, that I knew something about the bullying she had suffered. She thought it was the same girl. So I went to find the girl, see if I could…”

She ran down as she became aware of the look in the Abbess’s eyes.She knew then! She knew just how wrong-headed she had been. She stood stock still, waited for the blow to fall.

Hilda simply sat and stared at her, unable to believe all she was hearing. She was also unable to subdue the sudden and powerful surge of pure rage that engulfed her like fire and shook her to her core. She wanted to fly to Ellie; she wanted to flay her Head Girl alive. As for what she wanted to do to Meg Lyall….!

It was rare in her life that such fires were lit inside Hilda Annersley. Indeed, it was years since the last time – though there had been the night, less than six months ago, when she had thrown a teacup at the wall in anguished fury at Nell Wilson for daring to die and leave her all alone.

A red haze floated before her eyes. Fire and brimstone were heaped on her tongue, ready to be unleashed on Mireille. Then, like a douche of cold water, a hand grasped her shoulder firmly – a stark warning, a reminder of where and who she was. The red haze retreated, the unforgiving words died away. Matey’s hand tightened on her Headmistress’s shoulder; her crisp voice broke sharply through the shock. “Miss Annersley, are you alright?”

A convulsive shudder ran through Hilda, and the hand gripped her even harder, bracing yet comforting. Abruptly, the shutters came down, the shudders were controlled, icy cold replaced the fire. Hilda's eyes, still focused on Mireille, were now direct, uncompromising.

“Are you telling me, Mireille, that you knew all about the bullying of my ward – and kept quiet?” Her voice was soft, full of menace, and Erica wondered where its beauty had gone. “Are you also telling me that you’ve accused another girl of the serious crimes of bullying and theft – without first referring to me, your Headmistress?”

Everyone in the study shivered at the tone, even Matey, and her hand remained firm on Hilda’s shoulder. She was unaware of how grateful her Headmistress was for that link to sanity, because Hilda’s strangely emotional reactions were due in part to her own inability to draw anything out of Ellie – and this was the result of her failure. Guilt as well as anger consumed her, and had so nearly overturned her.

Mireille’s face was now bleached white, a mask of misery and self-blame. Her eyes were haunted. She nodded unwillingly. “Erica told me about the bullying last week. She came to me, not quite sure what she had heard. She hoped that I would bring it all to you….”

Hilda held up her hand for silence, her eyes moving to Erica, who was still standing by the door, terrified out of her wits by Hilda’s voice and demeanour. “Perhaps Erica herself should tell me what she knows, rather than me hearing it second-hand. But first, tell me, Mireille, have you left Ellie all alone up there?”

Ice had crept into the menace and Mireille shivered once more. “N… no, Miss Annersley. I went to find Miss Knowles. You told us to do that if we couldn’t find you or Matron. She’s with her now.”

“That’s the first sensible thing I’ve heard from you since you walked in the room,” stated Matey coldly, speaking for the first time.

Hilda looked up at her. “Would you…?”

“On my way,” Matey said briefly, and, with one final squeeze of the slender shoulder, she left the room. Hilda had recovered from that first sharp shock, no longer needed her presence. What she needed now from her friend was comfort and support for Ellie, and reassurance that her guardian would be with her as soon as was possible.

Hilda, meanwhile, merely looked questioningly at Erica, who came forward to stand by Mireille and pour out the story of what she had overheard and what she herself had done. Hilda’s silence unnerved her and she found it hard to string her words together.

“I p..promised Mireille I would keep an eye out – but I n…never caught anything again. Only….” She stopped, swallowed, shuffled her feet.

“Only?” prompted Hilda quietly.

“The day Ellie cut herself…. she came to Mitagessen looking very upset. She was white, wouldn’t say anything. I could see something had happened so I tried to stay near her in the dommy science room, but then Frau Mieders asked me to give out the onions and….”

“And we know what then transpired,” finished Hilda. Her eyes, grey as flint until now, grew warmer as they dwelt on Erica. “I can’t thank you enough for the way you’ve behaved, Erica. I’m proud to think we raise such thoughtful and caring girls.” Erica blushed. “Come next September, you will make an excellent prefect and I’m delighted I made you a sub this term. You’ve proved your worth, my dear, and been a good friend to Ellie. Be sure I shall make sure your Auntie Joey knows how well you’ve done. That’s all I need from you for now, my dear, but please don’t say anything to anyone when you leave here.”

“Thank you, Miss Annersley,” murmured Erica, and then, after a quick glance at Mireille’s white, downcast face, she crept with relief from the study to find some quiet and isolated corner in which to recover her equilibrium. Being a prefect was so much more onerous than she had realised and required difficult decisions, decisions she feared she would never have the courage to make.

Hilda watched the door close behind Erica and let her eyes drift back to Mireille. She gazed at her as though she were a species she had never seen before and couldn’t quite understand. The silence in the room grew heavy with the weight of all the emotions being suppressed. Mireille wanted nothing so much as to sink to the floor and weep it all away. Even better, she wanted to be a child again, safe in her mother’s arms. Hilda herself was once more aware of the rage welling up within – only this time it was ice cold and deadly - and closed her eyes against it.

No, Nell. No more! Anger will get me precisely nowhere. If ever I needed patience and compassion, it’s now. Mireille’s only a child, a poor, untried child, doing the best she can.

She came straight to the point. “Mireille, why didn’t you tell me last week about the bullying? Why didn’t you listen to Erica?”

Mireille unwillingly raised her head. The eyes she fixed Hilda were distended with fear, and suddenly the latter longed to reach out and hold the girl close, soothe away the terror. Thank you, dear heart. But she needs a lesson.... so no mercy just yet, I’m afraid.

“I thought it was something I should be able to deal with as Head Girl.” Mireille’s throat was so tight she found it hard to speak. “And I wasn’t sure if Ellie had told you. I didn’t know if she would want you to know….”

“She hadn’t told me, and she didn’t want me to know. Would you have done, if someone had been saying to you the things Erica overheard being said to Ellie? Ellie was worried about me, worried I would be hurt. She was also scared I would blame her, and was ashamed because she couldn’t stand up to this person. But she wouldn’t let me help. So you, as Head Girl, should have given her that help, by acknowledging that it was something you couldn’t handle yourself, any more than she could.”

Hilda’s voice failed and she swallowed, licked her lips. “Bullying should always be reported, Mireille, especially bullying as nasty as this seems to have been. It needs an experienced adult’s intervention. A formal report should have been made. I should have been allowed to do the job I am paid to do. Erica trusted you to do the right thing. I trusted you to do the right thing, when I made you Head Girl.”

The lovely voice was once more soft, but inexorable. There was no escaping it. Hilda might be merciful beyond the norm, but she was also there to see justice was done for each and every one of her girls. And justice played no favourites.

“I thought that if I told you, it would make things worse for Ellie,” whispered Mireille miserably, and Hilda’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought this person would think Ellie had complained to you and so would treat her even more badly.”

“Which she seems to have done anyway,” said Hilda, her voice dry, then she asked baldly, “Didn’t you trust me, Mireille?”

Mireille gaped at her, nodded wordlessly. “Then didn’t you think that just maybe I have enough experience to be able to put a stop to any more of this, without it rebounding on Ellie? What is the point of having a Headmistress if you don’t trust her to know what she’s doing, if you can’t trust her to protect her pupils?”

Mireille’s eyes were glued to Hilda’s but failed to notice the sadness and regret there. All she could see was the sharp keenness in the grey eyes, a keenness that cut like a knife. This was worse than anything she had ever experienced in her whole life. That it was emanating from someone she respected and even loved, someone who had tried hard to help her relax into her new position, only made it so very much more dreadful. The Abbess had shown that she trusted her – and her Head Girl had not returned the compliment, Mireille now saw.

Unbidden, a tear welled up and rolled down her cheek, to be closely followed by another. Hilda sighed softly. She knew she could no longer keep the girl on the rack – but there were still hard things that needed saying. Hoping her legs would now support her, she stood up and walked round the desk.....
Author:  MHE [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I should be working :oops:

This is such powerful writing Mary, I'm there with the girls, quaking in my shoes.

Can't wait to see the rest of it.

Thank you!!
Author:  Vashti [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your Hilda is wonderful. There should be more teachers like her in real life.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Hilda and Mireille, and poor, poor Ellie. There are so many emotions at war here and we can only watch helplessly from the sidelines.

Hilda is so firmly stretched between the proverbial rock and hard place - and so much of her treatment of Mireille really springs from her own guilt at not having been able to deal with the bullying already, and to protect Ellie, doesn't it? But Ellie wouldn't tell her, didn't want her to know.... I don't think I've ever seen a better example of the need for people to differentiate between 'sneaking' and 'reporting' situations which are spiralling out of control - I can understand why Mireille wanted to try and deal with matters herself, but......!

Thank goodness for 4 things here - Matey's steadying influence, and the speed with which she realised the best thing she could do for Hilda was to help care for Ellie; Erica's honest and straightforward account of what she had observed; and the knowledge that Vivien Knowles was already with Ellie. Last but not least, for allowing us again to become 'flies on the wall' as this episode unfolds.

We know that things will eventually be resolved as they should be, but it will still take all of Hilda's strength to achieve that - and I hate to think what her condition in the reaction to that. And we know that we will be present at the 'kill' as it were, thanks as always to your powers of description, Mary.

Please, if you love us - and Hilda - don't keep us waiting too long for the next part. :) :)
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary I feel sorry for Miranda, she tried her best.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Sarah [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Poor Hilda and Mireille, and poor, poor Ellie.


I agree!!!!!

Once again Mary I felt I were with them in the study!

Wow is all I can say! :shock:
Author:  Chelsea [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
I almost think that I feel most sorry for Mireille right now. I do wonder if Hilda would have reacted the same way if the girl being bullied was not Ellie.

I'm very interested to see where this is going to go.

Thanks Mary.
Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow, Mary, that was such a powerful post. I can't wait for the next part.
Author:  di [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
I do feel sorry for Mireille, after all she is but a child herself, doing a job she wasn't initially chosen for. I hope Hilda remembers that in her anguish about the treatment of Ellie. Mireille is also a pupil at the school and Hilda has a responsibility towards her as well. It's no good getting angry with her; she's not come across this sort of behaviour before, I presume. Hilda now should reassure Mireille and then go and sort Meg out once and for all.
Thank you, Mary. I was there in the study with Mireille, quaking in MY boots. :lol:
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
I feel very sorry for Mirelle - because you can see why she did as she did - she would have felt that telling Hilda would be admiting she couldn't cope as Head Girl - when she was already having serious doubts about that in the first place. I also feel that some of this anger from Hilda stems from guilt and a slight inability to be quite as non-judgemental as she would normally be. (Dreadful English but my brain seems to be asleep at the mo!)

That said - Mirelle does need this lesson, and the fact that it will be so upsetting will only serve to ram it home.

Very pleased Matey was there for Hilda.


Thanks Mary - magnificent.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
wot Lesley sed :lol:

Thanks Mary - sorry no time at mo to write my own appreciation . . .
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Mary. I do feel sorry for Mirielle facing Hilda like that and can understand why she felt the way she did but she should have said something to Hilda after the knife incidence or when Meg refused to listen to her
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh. My.Word . !!!

What was Mireille thinking, to have let this lie fallow when she **knew** it was happening ! She won't do it again, I know, but in the meantime, Ellie has had to suffer.

If only Mireille had told Hilda immediately :(

I have to say, Hilda has frightened me to death here. I would have been quaking in my boots to have been on the receiving end of this conversation.

I hope you won't keep us in suspense for too long, Mary ? Pretty please ?
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was incredibly moving and arresting. Hilda's pure rage was terrifying, and not just to the onlookers; I think she scared herself more than a little and came perilously near losing control, at least until Matey's grasp and words jolted her back into herself. And her encouraging words to Erica are exactly right and just what Erica needed to boost her own confidence.

But how difficult for them; Mireille did the best she could (and I agree with Elder about that sneaking/reporting distinction), but in what was an essentially short-term way, and without perhaps really thinking things through and recognising that there are things that Hilda really needs to know. And Hilda's internal comments to Nell show that she has recognised this; it won't spare Mireille from having it pointed out where she went wrong, but it will happen in a compassionate way. And yes there is that undercurrent of Hilda's own guilt as well as her love for Ellie that colours her response to this:
Quote:
Hilda’s strangely emotional reactions were due in part to her own inability to draw anything out of Ellie – and this was the result of her failure. Guilt as well as anger consumed her, and had so nearly overturned her.


Thank you Mary - I eagerly anticipate your next....
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
*speechless* I'm torn between mainly between pity, fear and shock. That is truly Hilda at her scariest - the Hilda who is hinted at in the original series (I'm now thinking Chalet School: TOS :wink: ) but never actually revealed. What a horrid situation for everyone, especially Hilda, Ellie and Mireille (sp) who has been caught in the cross fire when she was only trying to do her best. This situation also shows that there's a time and place for keeping confidentiality, but it's a harsh way for M to learn that lesson.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  jacey [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh Mary. That was so powerful, I didn't realise I was reading it with my breath held until I began to get a singing in my ears.
Hilda was so ............ I'm not sure what the word is. I felt so sorry for Mireille but I know that Hilda will deal with her mercifully.
I hope you will be able to post the rest of the scene today
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your wish is my command, Jacey! :D

Identity Hunt wrote:
Oh. My.Word . !!! What was Mireille thinking, to have let this lie fallow when she **knew** it was happening ! She won't do it again, I know, but in the meantime, Ellie has had to suffer.

Exactly, Sian, and she let it lie fallow for nearly two weeks. :cry: I've seen youngsters destroyed by persistent bullying because no one would speak. I came close myself, after two years of it, and it has coloured my whole life.

....Unbidden, a tear welled up and rolled down her cheek, to be closely followed by another. Hilda sighed softly. She knew she could no longer keep the girl on the rack – but there were still hard things that needed saying. Hoping her legs would now support her, she stood up and walked slowly round the desk. She placed an arm round Mireille and guided her over to the couch, then poured out a cup of tea and ladled several spoonfuls of sugar into it before handing it to Mireille.

“Drink, child. You’ll feel better.” Mireille took the cup in trembling hands and put it to her lips. Hilda poured out another for herself and drank it down quickly. Her thoughts flew to Ellie. What sort of state was she in? Hopefully Matey and Vivien would be able to keep her going until her guardian could be with her.

Hilda leaned back in the armchair opposite Mireille, and watched her place the empty cup on the low table before her. The lovely voice spoke abruptly. “Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we, Mireille? We both know we’re talking about Meg Lyall. You tell me you’ve tackled her this evening. Relate what happened, please.”

Mireille took a deep breath, and Hilda writhed inwardly as the tale poured forth. It couldn’t get much worse, surely. She felt a sudden, overwhelming weariness and her lips pursed as Mireille drew to a close. Her keen eyes narrowed, her brow furrowed, but she remained silent, searching for some steely self-control to be able to continue this interview.

She leaned forward, forced herself to speak gently. “You do realise you’ve tied my hands, Mireille. Meg’s answered your questions – or, rather, she’s refused to answer them, and I’m inclined to believe she had right on her side. You had no proof it was Meg who took the photos, just because she’s been undeniably cruel to Ellie. You might have been accusing an innocent girl. We’re all innocent until proven guilty.”

Mireille tried to look away but Hilda’s intense gaze made that impossible. “If you had come straight to me, ma fille, I could have gone to her and had a quiet talk, perhaps drawn the truth out of her once I was in possession of all the facts about the bullying. But if I do so now, I would be harassing her, and that I will not do. Ellie may have rights, but so does Meg, too.”

Once more a tear trickled down Mireille’s white cheek as she heard the Abbess take her apart and show her how very wrong she had been all the way through. Her actions had made everything so much worse – and her Headmistress now had to sort out the resultant mess.

Hilda nodded. “Yes, Mireille. You’ve left me very little room for manoeuvre - and three very unhappy girls now look to me for help, one of them being you, yourself.”

A sob escaped Mireille, and she hid her face in her hands, her head shaking non-stop. Quickly, Hilda rose and moved to sit beside her. “Mireille, look at me,” she commanded softly. Mireille raised drowned eyes. “I’m not angry with you any more. I’ll confess I was very, very angry when you first came in, but I promise I do understand why you did all that you did. I understand – but I don’t condone. There are some things that are just too important to leave, and your job as Head Girl is to learn what those things are. Some things need reporting, and reporting immediately; some things only the Headmistress can deal with. Do you see?”

Her eyes were kind but distant, and left Mireille without too much comfort. “I failed you,” she said miserably. “Tessa wouldn’t have behaved like this. C…can you forgive me?”

Hilda took the cold hands. “You didn’t fail me, so much, but you did fail Ellie, and you failed Meg, and you failed whoever took the photos. Worse than that, though - because you failed Ellie, she doubted me, and that made her even unhappier. But of course I forgive you, my dear. You did what you thought was best, and you and Erica watched over Ellie very carefully.” She paused, saw the guilt. “We don’t know what Tessa would have done, Mireille, but she did have enough wisdom and humility to appreciate when to hand over to me. She didn’t think she had to do it all herself. Could you learn to think likewise?”

Mireille nodded. Hilda watched her carefully and then added gently, “Could you also learn to come to me and discuss informally anything about which you’re unsure, so that we need only make it official if we must? Not everything my Head Girl and I discuss needs action, you know. I don’t bite, Mireille. But you and I do need to work together, talk together, so we both know what is going on in the school.”

She lifted her hands to cup Mireille’s face and wipe away the tears with her thumbs. The girl’s eyes grew brighter. “You do realise what my last words mean, don’t you, child? You are still Head Girl – but a much humbler and wiser Head Girl, I think. You acted well in some ways. You calmed Ellie down and probably prevented her from scratching out Meg’s eyes. I know my ward’s temper,” she added wryly and Mireille’s lips trembled in response. “You brought Miss Knowles in for her, the best person you could have found, and you made sure I wouldn’t blame Erica, made sure I knew she had wanted you to come to me. You hid nothing from me. I’m only sorry I have had to be so very hard on you, but it mattered – to you as Head Girl, to me as Headmistress, to all those who are bullied in this school, and to all those doing the bullying.”

“I understand,” Mireille whispered. “And I’ll try to be more like Tessa.”

“No, child, just be more like yourself, because you have so much that is good inside you,” murmured Hilda. “Don’t compare yourself to Tessa, or to anyone. Remember that Tessa is no more perfect than you or I! All leaders fail, Mireille, but the good ones learn from their mistakes. I suspect this one is engraved on your heart for all time. Leaders must never stop learning, must never think they know it all. For all my own great age and experience, I myself am still a work in progress, and will go on being so till my dying moments.”

In the silence that followed her words, she saw Mireille shake her head at such an idea. “It’s true, Mireille. Being adult is not being perfect. We still face challenges, still make mistakes. If the day ever comes when I think that being a Headmistress for so long means that I know it all, that I have nothing new to learn, then that would be the day I give up my job. There is always some challenge I haven’t met before, some new facet of my own or other people’s behaviour to understand.”

She patted Mireille’s hand. Enough was enough. She rose and walked over to her desk, staring down at it for long moments, clearly lost in thought. Finally, she raised her head, looked ar Mireille.

“Tell me, Mireille, are you willing to do something to help me sort things out?” Mireille jumped to her feet with a nod of the head, and joined Hilda at her desk. “Good girl! First of all, I want you to go and gather the prefects together, warn them their freedom is over for the day and that they must be ready to act as soon as I give the sign, whatever it is."

She paused, wondering if her next words would be too much for the girl. "Then I want you to return here and wait for me while I go to Ellie. I won’t be long, but while I’m gone I want you to reflect carefully on my words, not in a morbid fashion but trying to find out what they mean for you, both as a girl nearing adulthood and as a Head Girl. I don’t want guilt from you, I want positive thought and action, want you to work out how you move on from here.” Her eyes were steady on Mireille. “Are you ready and willing to do that, both for me and for yourself, chérie?”

Mireille’s gaze was now as steady as Hilda’s and she drew herself up to her full height. “Yes, Miss Annersley. To be quite honest, I need some time alone, I think.”

“You hurt,” stated Hilda quietly. Mireille nodded. “But you’ll find it’s a good hurt, child, if taken in the right way. You’ve admitted your faults, taken all my anger and my harsh words and made no excuses. You’re brave enough to move forward, after careful reflection, and sensible enough not to saddle yourself with undue guilt. The way you’ve behaved in here today makes me as proud of you as anything you’ve achieved since term began - and you’ve achieved a great deal, you and the prefects. You’ve worked as a good team. So now, go and find them and warn them to be ready.”

However, as the door closed behind Mireille, Hilda didn’t immediately leave the room. She forced herself to sit and think through, in some detail, what she planned to do. It would not be pleasant, and she shivered as she sat and gazed blankly ahead of her. With a weary sigh, she rose and walked over to Vivien’s wooden hearts hanging on the wall near Rosalie’s door. Slowly she read down the words painted on each heart: peace, patience, love, kindness, self-control….. She would need to be in possession of each and every one of these fruits of the Holy Spirit in the hours ahead of her, although one of them, self-control, she had lost badly just now. Loneliness swamped her. She yearned for Nell’s bolstering love.

Lord, please don’t let my anger get the better of me again in the hours ahead. Let me free of bitterness. Give me the right words to help Ellie, the right words for the school and for the culprit, be it Meg or another. Nell, dear heart, I need your strength and courage as never before. The school you loved has need of your wisdom. Be there for all of us tonight.
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very, very moving Mary. Hilda adopted just the right tone there with Mirelle, even though the Head Girl's actions have, as she said, 'tied her hands'. Am extremely curious as to exactly how Hilda will manage this - she obviously has some idea, and it's going to be messy, but I have no doubt that she will prevail.

Here's hoping Nell can be with her to give her a little much needed support.

(((Mirelle)))

(((((Hilda)))))


Many thanks Mary.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary

That was so moving . . .
Hilda, for all her understanding, still has a hard task, and Mireille has had to learn that she isn't expected to do everything, and that there are times when responsibilities have to be passed up or down the line.
Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, Mary. Hilda handled that just right - but then, she always does! I'm interested to find out what will happen from here.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
This was both riveting and extremely moving - I'm still reeling from the power of it. Hilda took exactly the right line - she absolutely had to let Mireille see where she had erred and how her own hands were tied as a result, but Mireille also needed that later reassurance that Hilda did, indeed understand why she had acted as she did. Hard though this has been, the experience will, in the end, only make Mireille a stronger Head Girl - and Hilda fully realises this.

Clearly Hilda already has some idea of what she is going to do next - and I have every confidence that she will have the strength of mind to carry out all she has to do. Even though we know that what she really wants to do is to comfort and reassure Ellie, we also know she can't do that until she has dealt with Meg!

I'm sure that Nell will be with her in spirit every step of the way - and boy, will she need that sense of her presence.

Thank you, Mary, I will be eagerly awaiting the next instalment.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda has tempered Justice with Mercy for Mireille, and although traumatic, this experience will have taught Mireille many valuable things for her life as an adult.

I wonder how Hilda will deal with the others ? She is, as she said to Mireille, now in a very difficult situation where her actions are limited by Mireille's own mis-handling of the events.
How can she be fair to Meg, as well as getting justice - and the photos - back for Ellie ?

This is a very difficult problem to solve and I look forward to seeing how Hilda will resolve all these complexities.

Many thanks, Mary ! Looking forward to more in due course......
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary. It must have been a busy journey to and from Wales if Hilda gave you all that last weekend.

Hilda has dealt with Mireille faithfully here.

Quote:
I understand,” Mireille whispered. “And I’ll try to be more like Tessa.”

“No, child, just be more like yourself, because you have so much that is good inside you,” murmured Hilda. “Don’t compare yourself to Tessa, or to anyone. Remember that Tessa is no more perfect than you or I! All leaders fail, Mireille, but the good ones learn from their mistakes. I suspect this one is engraved on your heart for all time. Leaders must never stop learning, must never think they know it all. For all my own great age and experience, I myself am still a work in progress, and will go on being so till my dying moments.”


I hope Mirielle can learn to be herself.

I fear Hilda. the prefect and the staff may have an unpleasent and bust evening before them. At least Hilda can deal with the bullying now it has been reported and hopefully can get to bottom of the stealing as well. They are both nasty and leave a long lasting effect on those affected. I suspect it might be two girls Hilda has to administer justice too before she goes to bed.

Mary please keep us informed and solve the cliffs quickly.


:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:

(Solve the AOL problem by ringing the Help desk, they advised switching off and unplugging every thing, I did and left it half an hour and it worked OK,)
Author:  Emma A [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 6:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've only just started reading this, Mary, and am being riveted (even if I'm unsure what the background is!). I can't imagine EBD ever writing anything this powerful - which is a good thing.

Thank-you.
Author:  di [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 6:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda does so temper justice with kindness. She took the right angle with Mireille once she caught hold of her justified anger. Now she has to untangle the mess and find out if indeed Meg is the culprit.- I've just had an awful thought - it couldn't be Kathie could it? No even she wouldn't sink so low.
Hope Hilda is able to solve this tonight [hint, :wink: hint]
Thanks, Mary. Eagerly awaiting the next part.
Author:  Cathie [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh gosh. Please give us more. It's so beautiful and I've been crying , again.
Author:  Elbee [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very powerful and moving.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wasn't going to come here tonight - you know why - but I'm so glad I did. Hilda has reduced me to tears again; it was so beautifully written that I felt as though I was in the room with them.
Please let us know what happens soon - I can't imagine how this can be resolved.
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Emma for the background read Lesley's "My Friend" and MaryR earlier posts of "New Dreams" in the Ste. Therese Archives, but be warned you will need plenty of tissues on hand

They are beautifully written.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Heavens what a problem for Hilda to be faced with, and how right she is to point out that Mireille has limited her capacity to act by her own well-meant but misguided actions. I suspect that Mireille had difficulty in accepting the reality that this situation would continue unless someone with experience and comprehension of bullying dealt with it - and that this made the situation all the more shocking when it escalated in this way.

And how thoroughly Hilda pointed out where she had gone wrong, and just what the results were and would be! hopefully Mireille will be able to move on from this, and become the sort of leader that she can be - and how wise of Hilda to point out that she has to be Mireille, not a pale copy of Tessa, tempting though that would be.

Hilda clearly has some idea of what she intends to do, but I so not think she will find her task particularly easy or desirable...no wonder she yearns for Nell's 'bolstering love' and her 'strength and courage'. Her way must seem very lonely indeed at times like these, when she would previously have looked to Nell's advice and comfort.

Thank you Mary.
Author:  linda [ Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,

After a very hectic week, I've just caught up with the last two very, very moving posts.

My heart aches for Hilda. Her anger at Mireille's lack of action once she had discovered the bullying, which had resulted in the escalation of the situation, with the resultant injury to Ellie's hand and the loss of the photos, was perfectly justified, and Mireille needs to realise that by tackling Meg herself, she has now jeapodised any action which Hilda could take.

But Hilda is wise . She has said what needed to be said and hopefully Mireille will take her words to heart, learn from her mistakes and grow into a more responsible headgirl who is able to lead the school through the current difficulties.

Quote:
Lord, please don’t let my anger get the better of me again in the hours ahead. Let me free of bitterness. Give me the right words to help Ellie, the right words for the school and for the culprit, be it Meg or another. Nell, dear heart, I need your strength and courage as never before. The school you loved has need of your wisdom. Be there for all of us tonight.


Calmer now, her initial anger diffused, as usual, Hilda's thoughts of course turn to Nell with a prayer for her strength and wisdom.

As I've said before, I don't know how you do it, Mary, these last two posts were once again so emotionally charged. I felt Hilda's anger and suffered with Mireille in her great despair.

Thank you Mary, I hope we don't have to wait too long to see what Hilda will do.
Author:  Celia [ Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:22 pm ]
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Mary, thank you for another powerful and emotional post. Hilda must feel
so drained and exhausted after nearly loosing control, and yet she has
so much to clear up before she rests. She will indeed need all the help
her God and Nell can offer .

More soon would be excellent :wink:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jul 12, 2008 4:11 am ]
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In regards to Mirielle, I have been thinking about her all through my shift at work. (What you think about in the middle of the night and the wee small hours of the morning!) And I felt sorry for her. I couldn't work out why until after you wrote the next post and this is why. Mirielle didn't deliberately set out to hurt Ellie and handle it poorly but did so through lack of experience and innocence of not knowing what that kind of pain is like. Mirielle in a space of two weeks has had so much to deal with. Firstly her best friend has been in a serious car accident and is fighting for her life. Hilda is still struggling with the death of Nell and she has the maturity of nearly 60 years to deal with it and still struggling. Mirielle is only 17 and you could argue that at 60 the friendship Hilda had with Nell was deeper and stronger and closer but for Mirielle her friendship with Tessa is close and shouldn't be brushed aside because they're only 17.

She has then had to step into Tessa's shoes as Head Girl feeling hopelessly inadequate compared to Tessa. The staff and pupils alike didn't think she could do it and Kathie Ferrars stated that categorically at the first staff meeting, someone loved and respected by everyone despite her behaviour now. She had to fight for respect from not only the pupils but also her fellow prefects and guide them into becoming stronger people in their own right something Tessa wasn't able to do her self or Hilda.

She did make the mistake of not dealing with Meg and Ellie better or going to Hilda with it the first time but for her as supportive as Hilda was in the first weeks Mirielle did have to get her head around a Headmistress being someone she could turn to and not being Miss Annersley, Headmistress, remote and distant. We know because we've seen Hilda in so many facets but Mirielle hasn't and didn't know. Mirielle was already repenting and was brutally honest about her own failings and like Hilda will kick herself for ages to come. If Hilda had destroyed as she was looking like she was going to do (her anger was so visceral) then she would have destroyed the person Mirielle was developing into: someone who could lead and could help others, as she was starting to. And if Hilda destroyed Mirielle who was acting out of inexpeirience not jealousy (like Kathie Ferrars) or spite and jealousy (like Meg) then she would have to destroy Kathie and Meg and not allow them any redemption at all and should have already done that with Kathie who should know better. Or it would come accross that she was only angry for Ellie's sake and would not be like that for anyone else.

What Ellie went through was wrong and brutal and she shouldn't have gone through it. I think her woundedness is sometimes scary or a little too close to home that thinking about only reminds people of our own woundedness and pain when we would rather forget, than think about it. Having gone through bullying as the victim in high school I remember feeling as Ellie does, don't tell anyone cos it'll only make it worse and I think there was something in Mirielle that responded to that and her inexperience made her stop and believe that instead of no it's better to tell no matter how hard and painful it may be at the time. And Ellie's fear of will they blame me and believe what the others are saying is so very real.

Mirielle has been forced to grow and mature more in the last two weeks than at any time previously in her life and like most of us sometimes she got it right so well as in the concert and other times she stumbled and fell, but she is someone who will get there in the end. Hilda, unless she had tempered justice with mercy could have lost her Head Girl forever because Mirielle may never have believed in herself again after that and you need to in order to grow and mature and be able to help others.

BTW I know Erica said to take it to Hilda but why didn'tshe go there first and she also knew the Head as Auntie Hilda (she is a ward of the Maynards) not just as Miss Annersley and I think that makes a difference

Thanks Mary for writing all this no matter how hard it is to read so much anger and pain. Hilda's anger had me reeling how much worse it was for Mirielle who it was directed at
Author:  Fi [ Sun Jul 13, 2008 2:03 pm ]
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I have properly caught up with this now and it is both wonderful and heartbreaking. I think that Hilda handled Mirielle in just the right way. All the harsh words needed to be said or Mirielle will never learn from the experience but it was mixed with just the right amount of sympathy to prevent the constructive critisism becoming destructive.

I sincerely hope that Kathie isn't mixed up in this sorry affair because she was just starting to show what good stuff she is made of, but jealousy can make us behave like childish idiots and I fear the worst especially as I don't think the Kathie/Hilda situation is fully resolved yet.

I hope Hilda can get to Ellie soon and that this can all be sorted out without any lasting damage to anyone.

Thank You Mary.
Author:  Tara [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:30 am ]
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I, too, am left breathless after catching up. A Hilda teetering on the brink of loss of control was truly terrifying , and I was so thankful for Matey's quiet but strong intervention. Mireille has got it badly wrong, but I do so feel for her, trying so hard to live up to what she thinks Hilda expects of her and to fight her own feelings of inadequacy and be a 'proper' HG like Tessa - and then finding she's made a seriously bad mistake. Hilda certainly managed to build her up again and give her the tools to make the whole experience positive rather than destructive, as well as reasssuring her of her own gifts and possibilities. Perhaps a learning experience for Hilda, as well? She is going to have to acquire a little more objectivity where Ellie is concerned, or Ellie and Mireille's reluctance to involve her will begin to seem justified!
It's all left Hilda herself in an impossible position vis a vis Meg, of course, and I shall be fascinated to see how on earth she sorts things out. With some difficulty, I should imagine, Meg is now firmly entrenched in defiance and self-righteousness - and, perhaps, feels that she's winning. But Hilda is back in control of the situation, and I'm sure her strength, wisdom and experience will triumph - I just haven't a clue how!

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:46 pm ]
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I'm afraid I've been almost too scared to come on the board this weekend, wondering if I was going to be lynched. :oops: Not even convinced now that it won't happen, as I seem to have stirred up a real hornet's nest. :roll: I'm only hopeful I haven't put you all off. :cry:

I've been fascinated to read your very differing views, and very grateful that you took the time to repond at such length and with such graciousness. Many thanks to you all. But I've always maintained that Hilda is not perfect. She is, however, a quick learner, though you may not see it just at first, as I've only given you half of her visit to Ellie. :wink:

.....She would need to be in possession of each and every one of these fruits of the Holy Spirit in the hours ahead of her, although one of them, self-control, she had lost badly just now. Loneliness swamped her. She yearned for Nell’s bolstering love.

Lord, please don’t let my anger get the better of me again in the hours ahead. Let me free of bitterness. Give me the right words to help Ellie, the right words for the school and for the culprit, be it Meg or another. Nell, dear heart, I need your strength and courage as never before. The school you loved has need of your wisdom. Be there for all of us tonight.

Berating herself for her morbid self-pity when Ellie was in such dire straits, she exited the study and hurried up the stairs. Entering the dormitory, she found her ward curled up on the bed against Vivien, the latter’s arms holding her close. Vivien grew sad when she saw her Headmistress’s bleached face and shadowed eyes, the tension in her body. It was worse than she had realised. Suddenly, she was glad she would never be a Headmistress.

Hilda saw the compassion in the brown eyes and was about to speak when Ellie became aware of her guardian’s presence and raised her head. Hilda gasped in alarm. Ellie’s face was enough to melt a heart of stone – her face wan, her eyes swollen and red. But what hurt Hilda the most was the terrible shame and agonising hurt she saw in the sapphire depths.

Hilda dropped to her knees before the pair and spoke forcefully. “No, Ellie, sweetheart - there is no shame or blame attached to you, none whatsoever. It is not your fault that Meg Lyall has been so cruel to you and it is not your fault that your photos have been taken. You are an innocent victim in all this, child. Please, believe me.”

“My photos….” whispered Ellie with a despairing sob, and she leaned forward into Hilda, tears once more welling up and running over.

“Sit here, Hilda,” said Vivien. Holding Ellie in her arms, Hilda somehow struggled to take Vivien’s place on the bed. She looked up urgently at the Science Mistress.

“Can you come back in about ten minutes? You and Gwynneth? I must go and do something about retrieving the photos, try to sort out this unwholesome mess. But I don’t want to leave Ellie alone.”

Vivien clasped her shoulder and went out of the room, closing the door behind her as Ellie broke down completely all over again and sobbed into her guardian’s shoulder. Hilda stroked her hair and back gently, crooned to her softly in French, assuring her how much she loved her, how proud she was to be her guardian, what a wonderful and talented person she was….

“Ellie, my darling, I am so sorry this has happened after we had such a lovely, lovely time this afternoon.You were really enjoying yourself and beginning to come out of your shell. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? Your hand hurts badly, and your heart has been hurting badly for the last two weeks. Now, your precious photos have gone, and you only just saw them for the first time last weekend. You must wonder what you’ve done to deserve it all.”

She carried on rocking her, and murmuring into the the tousled black hair. “If only you’d told me it all, child! I ache for your hurt. You’ve been so brave to bear it all in silence. Erica has told me what she overheard. Is that why you’ve been so wary of her, I wonder? Were you ashamed that she would think you’re weak?” More sobs escaped Ellie. “But, darling girl, she wiped the floor with Meg that day on your behalf, because she was so angry.”

Ellie looked up at that, thoroughly startled, and Hilda took her handkerchif and mopped up the tears, dried the eyes, dropped a kiss on the red nose. “Yes, child, it’s true. And she’s been keeping an eye out for you ever since. Myself, I think she deserves your heartfelt thanks. She saw how upset and angry you were on Friday and tried to keep you away from Meg – but she had to hand out those onions, and that gave Meg her chance. What did she say to make you angry enough to chop off your finger?”

Ellie buried her face more deeply in Hilda’s sweater, shaking her head violently. Hilda laid her cheek against the black hair. “Ellie, child, you can’t hide like this for ever. You can’t allow bullies to get away with their crimes. They have to face what they’ve done, just as you have to face it and somehow make your peace with it and with them. What did she say? I don’t intend to leave here until I know.”

Ellie took a deep breath, obeying the command in that voice, as Hilda had intended. “After your lesson in the morning….she accused you of….favouritism…always patting me on the back in class…. like the other mistresses….” whispered Ellie into Hilda’s sweater.

“Ah!” sighed Hilda, expecting exactly that but still not wanting to hear it. “And?”

“She said….if I told you… she would make me pay….. that I would live to regret it…. that I didn’t b…b.. belong here….”

“Oh, Ellie, darling,” murmured Hilda, holding her tight as the sobs broke out again. “Your worst nightmare, wasn’t it? You do belong here, child – just as she does, just as every girl does. And remember, you belong to more than just the school now. You belong to me, in a very special way, and to my friend, Cherry’s big sister, and to a whole host of other people, people like your aunt and Mother Abbess and Mr Stuart and Miss Knowles and Matron Lloyd, even Mireille. So many people love you, child, you can have no idea….”

Hilda reflected bitterly that she had been doing her best, since the beginning of term, to show Ellie how much she was wanted and loved, and yet, all the time, Meg had been dropping her insidious poison into the empty corners of Ellie’s still fragile and brittle spirit and wreaking havoc there, undoing all Hilda’s words of affirmation and love.

How did one forgive such malevolence? Was even her mercy big enough to encompass this? Help me, Lord, I beg you.....
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:25 pm ]
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Yes, Hilda is going to find it very difficult to forgive Meg for all this, to show her much admired justice with mercy. Yet she will have to won't she? So she can never be accused of this favouritism she will have to deal with Meg in the same wy she deals with any miscreant. And is Meg also the thief? Hilda will have to find out that as well - if Meg is not then who?


Lovely Mary - and I'm waiting in eager anticipation for the next few episodes - thank you.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:58 pm ]
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Thank goodness Hilda has finally managed to persuade Ellie to tell her just what she has been enduring these past weeks, and to do her best to try and reassure and comfort her, in an effort to dilute the effects of that 'slow poison' of Meg's treatment.

She is definitely going to need all her skills and resources to deal faithfully - but objectively - with Meg, when her whole instinct is to lash out at the girl for what she has done to Ellie. Yet she also has to make a stand against the bullying; regardless of who the victim might have been, such activity has to be stopped now, if not sooner.

I wonder if this is going to be a situation where Hilda 'gets through' to the sinner as she did to so many difficult characters over the years. Whatever the result, I don't envy her the next few hours one little bit.

I know one thing though - we will, as always, be privileged to be 'flies on the wall' throughout, thanks to the power of your writing, Mary. I also know that Ellie herself will be well taken care of by Vivien and Gwynneth, and that, too, will sustain and strengthen Hilda as she tackles Meg.

Thank you Mary - I, too am eagerly awaiting the next few episodes.
Author:  di [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:30 pm ]
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I wouldn't want to be in Meg's shoes, with Hilda so angry; quite rightly too. Yet she has to reign in that anger in order to deal with Meg appropriately and fairly, whatever her thoughts about her. She also has to convey to Ellie that nothing is her fault- not an easy job as Meg has certainly done her worse with her cruel comments. I hope Nell is with her and guiding her; not that her caustic tongue would be of much help. :lol: Oh, I do hope it comes out right for all.
Thank you, Mary, for another powerful installment.
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:39 pm ]
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Thank you Mary.
We will only threaten to lynch you if you keep us waiting too long for the next installment. However then we would never get the answer so that you not worry.
:hammer: to anyone threatening Mary.


Thank you for today's update and for Hilda's insight into Ellie's pain and her compasion.
Author:  dackel [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:25 pm ]
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Poor Hilda - such a mess you've given her to sort out! I'm sure she will rise to the occasion however, as she always does. It will be difficult for her not to give in to the temptation to 'wipe the floor' with Meg herself! I hope she manages to find out exactly what has caused to act so despicably.

Ellie is lucky to have such a champion to look after her - and all the friends she's gained at the School. And Meg has done her best to destroy her new-found hope that she might have found a place where she fits in and will be loved and appreciated. Hilda really is fighting a battle on two fronts to convince her that the School might be that place in spite of all Meg has said.

Thanks, Mary, this is brilliant as always!
Author:  Tara [ Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:30 pm ]
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'Unwholesome mess' just about sums it up, and I do so feel for Hilda having to tackle all this, all the while trying to bring some comfort and balance into Ellie's distracted universe.
Yes, of course she'll have to deal with Meg fairly and with understanding, however she feels, but as a Headteacher she's a consummate professional and as a person she is able to access a love that goes beyond sentiment or even passion and will make her able to act with justice and empathy. Also, we don't know what has caused Meg to act like this, and it would be very unlike Hilda not to understand when once she does know.
A useful reminder, too, of the fact that Meg's bullying was so deeply connected to Hilda herself, making both Ellie and Mireille's reticence yet more understandable.

Thank you, Mary. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the next installment.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:39 am ]
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Mary, a hornet's nest every once in awhile is good for the soul and it does make us think so the more the merrier. I think I had never seen Hilda be so human in that scene and yes it scared me but it also made me like her more and I'm not a huge Hilda fan because she is usually described in CS-land as being so perfect. Joey, Madge, Nell, Mademoiselle and all other main characters had their weaknesses and poor writing at times so we could both love and not hate but stop loving them so much but Hilda never got that until then so thanks.

I am waiting with interest to see what happens next and personally unless Meg repents or shows a lot of remorse and a desire to do better, deserves expulsion and Hilda would be well within her rights and duty as headmistress to do that. Margot, Joan, Diana were all repentant and did try to do better
Author:  Sarah [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:39 pm ]
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Quote:
How did one forgive such malevolence? Was even her mercy big enough to encompass this?


I don't know! I'm still trying to figure that one out!!!! :shock:

Once again Mary I'm speechless with emotions! I hope Hilda can get to the bottom of this and sort out why Meg (or the person responsible) acted in this way.

Thank you.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:12 pm ]
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Poor everyone!

I'm especially worried for Mireille. After all of Hilda's efforts to build the poor girl's self-confidence enough so that she'd act on her own, ripping her up and down for trying to do so seems -- well, guaranteed to send Mireille into a spiral of depression. Yes, she did bite off more than she could chew this time, but surely there could have been a more supportive way to say so. Of course, there's plenty of reason for Hilda to be upset, but still....

As for Meg! Even if she were totally innocent of the bullying -- which I don't believe for a minute -- in normal circumstances that sort of "rudeness to a prefect" would land her with a million years or so of Head's Report. Reforming the girl is going to be a real job....
Author:  linda [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:42 pm ]
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MaryR wrote
Quote:
Ellie took a deep breath, obeying the command in that voice, as Hilda had intended. “After your lesson in the morning….she accused you of….favouritism…always patting me on the back in class…. like the other mistresses….” whispered Ellie into Hilda’s sweater.

“Ah!” sighed Hilda, expecting exactly that but still not wanting to hear it. “And?”

“She said….if I told you… she would make me pay….. that I would live to regret it…. that I didn’t b…b.. belong here….”


At last Hilda has managed to get Ellie to tell her what form the bullying has taken. Hopefully now, she will be able to convince Ellie that she does belong; that she has her rightful place in both the school and in Hilda's heart.

Dealing with Meg is going to be far more difficult and take all Hilda's skills and resources. As Lesley said, she is going to find it very difficult to forgive Meg for this and dispense justice with mercy.

Thank you, Mary, I'm holding my breath waiting for the next instalment
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:05 am ]
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The chances of the thief being anyone other than Meg must be vanishingly small, but quite how Hilda will handle it , when Meg has already categorically denied it , is taxing my curiosity.
Time for a second early morning cup of tea, I think !


Thanks, Mary. I do hope Ellie is feeling somewhat reassured now, by Hilda's words.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:06 pm ]
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Poor Ellie, all her insecurity and terror of not belonging has come back to haunt her as Hilda realises. No wonder her first reaction is to reassure her that she is loved, she is wanted - and not only by Hilda, but by "a host of other people." And now that Ellie has told Hilda, the worst fear, that Hilda will think less of her, has been assuaged, and she will be able to accept Hilda's very gentle pointing out of the importance of telling someone about bullying like this.

And then there is Meg, and I do wonder just what has provoked the bullying of Ellie? Does Ellie have or represent something that Meg does not? Or does she symbolise something that has happened in Meg's own life? The bitterness that characterised Meg's response to Mireille does seem to suggest that, (I'm not condoning her bullying at all, btw) but even if that is the case, then Hilda's task has been made harder both by the delay and by Mireille's (very understandable) defence of Ellie this evening.

Thank you Mary
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:59 pm ]
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Thank you for the comments. I do hope, by the way, that you've been picking up on all the tiny hints I've given you about Vivien's future over the course of this saga! :lol:

.....Hilda reflected bitterly that she had been doing her best, since the beginning of term, to show Ellie how much she was wanted and loved, and yet, all the time, Meg had been dropping her insidious poison into the empty corners of Ellie’s still fragile and brittle spirit and wreaking havoc there, undoing all Hilda’s words of affirmation and love.

How did one forgive such malevolence? Was even her mercy big enough to encompass this? Help me, Lord, I beg you.....

She brought her mind back to Ellie, still weeping in her arms. “And later on that day, in Frau Mieders’ lesson…. more of the same? So that temper of yours took over and you chopped fiercely away at the onions and your finger, as a way of stopping yourself from using the knife on Meg herself.”

Ellie raised her tear-stained face, stunned at Hilda’s words. “You understand….what I felt… But how? You…. don’t have a temper…. not like me…”

Hilda’s forehead bent down and touched Ellie’s. “Of course I understand, petite. Who wouldn’t? It was a very natural reaction, I promise you. My friend Nell would have done exactly the same – and there would have been a few swear words as well, I’m sure, to go along with it. Me, I’m not as honest and open as you two. I might have been tempted to do something equally nasty to her, but behind her back – or I might simply have been too ashamed to do anything, like most girls who are bullied.”

Light began to dawn in Ellie’s eyes. “So I’m not a coward, for not standing up to her? And for not telling you?”

“No, sweetheart, anything but! I don’t know how you have kept quiet for so long. It’s very, very hard to stand up to bullies. But you are now going to recount everything Meg ever said to you, including that day I caught you in the splashery. What was she saying to you as you left?” Ellie began to look ashamed again, but Hilda was having none of it. “Everything, Ellie! We’re going to get this out in the open and finish with it once and for all. I don’t care if it’s about me! If you love me, let me in!”

Ellie buried her face again, but there were no sobs this time. “She told me your harsh words meant…. you didn’t really love me…. that I was only a ward and didn’t really… belong to you… not like a daughter does….”

That word ‘belong’ again, thought Hilda. Meg knew exactly which buttons to push! Then she thought back to that day – and night.

“That’s why you came to me in the middle of the night last week, isn't it?” she whispered, her eyes cold as flint once more. “That’s why you wept so bitterly and asked if I really loved you?” There was another sob from Ellie. Hilda groaned. “Oh, Ellie, my darling girl, I've just told you how much you belong to me. I love you beyond all telling. Ask Mother Abbess or Mr Stuart or Miss Knowles and they will all assure you of my deep love for you. The love I have for you saved my own life at Christmas, child. I felt so alone and so sad until you appeared and leapt straight into my aching heart. Listen to all the people who see my love for you, listen to me, not to the Meg Lyalls of this world.”

She held her ward closer, kissed the top of her head, rocked her again to calm herself as much as Ellie. Finally, she removed her arms from around the girl and took her by the shoulders so they were face to face. There were still tears trickling down the girl’s cheeks.

“I want it all, Ellie, every horrid word. Once it’s out, it won’t poison you so much and I can do something about it all. Never, ever, be afraid that telling me will make it all worse, that Meg will somehow punish you. Believe me, Ellie, when I’ve finished with her, Meg Lyall won’t dare come near you again. She may not have taken your photos, but she is guilty of much else and she will pay.”

Ellie saw it, then, in the wintry grey eyes - the last remanants of the fury Hilda was trying so unavailingly to hide. She put out a hand, touched Hilda’s cheek in awe.

“I’ve never seen you angry before,” she whispered. “Whenever you’ve scolded me for something, tried to make me see reason, you’ve been calm and kind and loving. You’re the same when you deal with other girls who’ve done something wrong. I’ve watched you. I didn't know you could get angry. Do I matter so much to you, Madame?”

Unbidden tears welled up in Hilda’s eyes. She pulled Ellie close again to hide them. “Yes, child, you matter that much. I love you,” she said simply.

She felt Ellie’s arms go round her, hug her tightly. Desperately, she clamped her lips together in an effort to steady herself, but one or two tears spilled over, nevertheless. Clearing her throat, she tried to explain. “But because I love you, Ellie, I’m scared I might say too much in my anger. I have a very cutting tongue when I care to use it, child, but if used in anger it might cut too deep. I used it too harshly on Mireille tonight, and will have to make reparation to her. I hurt her. So I’m not going to confront Meg tonight about her bullying. She will simply be separated from the others, to stop her doing any more harm.”

She took a deep breath, spoke more firmly. “But, Ellie, my love for you is no excuse for my anger. St James tells us firmly: Your anger does not produce God’s righteousness.”

Ellie pulled away, stared up at her in astonishment. “Anger is wrong, child. Anyone can become angry, it is the easiest thing in the world, but anger is self-defeating. I've always known that, and learned to curb my feelings. Only - I let them get away from me tonight.”

Hilda’s voice was fervent. “Anger is stopping me from doing my job, Ellie. There are very, very few times when it is righteous to be angry. Jesus Himself was angry a time or two, but it was for the right purpose and at the right time. I’m not. I’m angry simply because it is my ward who is hurt, and that is wrong. If it were anyone else, I would be cool and composed – and more capable of dealing with Meg. But in anger, one makes mistakes, one does more harm than good. You can’t change people by being angry with them.”

“It is my fault, non?” Ellie’s eyes were huge in her white face.

“In a way, because you kept quiet…. But that is over and done with. As I’ve said to Mireille, learn from your mistakes. Don’t go back and gnaw on them.” She drew Ellie close again. “But it is only really my own fault, Ellie. I allowed the anger in, instead of turning to the Lord for stillness and peace in my heart, and for that I must ask forgiveness of Him and of Mireille.”

Her eyes closed in anguish, but in fact Ellie was learning more from watching Hilda, her idol, struggling with her anger and asking the Lord for help, than she could ever have learned from even the most heartfelt of words. Perhaps for the first time in her life, Ellie saw that even adults as good as her guardian have constant battles with themselves. Hilda’s struggle showed her just how easy it was to give in to one's all too human nature; showed her that she herself must never give up the fight against her own fierce temper.

Hilda sighed softly. “So you see, child, just as you didn’t recognise yourself when you wielded that knife so fiercely on Friday, so tonight I find I don’t recognise myself. My self-control has dissolved in the love I have for you. And that must never happen again. Pray right here and now, my wee flipperling – pray for me and for all those who need my help, as I try to put back together what is broken.”

Ellie’s arms went round her once more, and they held each other tightly, tending each other’s wounds, each of them strengthened and made whole again by love.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:17 pm ]
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What a devastatingly honest statement from Hilda - I'm just sitting here blown away by the power of her words.

Yet they needed to be said, and in speaking so frankly to Ellie, Hilda has provided this girl, who she loves so dearly, with a valuable object lesson and an understanding of something which she probably has never realised before - that adults, too, have to learn to control their tempers, and, when need be, to apologise for their angry words and/or actions.

I'm glad that Hilda sees it would be unwise for her to actually talk to Meg tonight - she does indeed need time to cool down first. At the same time, by insisting that Ellie tell her all that Meg has said, she has thoroughly lanced that particular 'boil' which has been consuming Ellie, and provided her yet again with the reassurance that she truly *is* loved by Hilda and by so many others.

Thank you, Mary.

PS. I have a couple of thoughts regarding your hints about Vivien Knowles, but if one of them is correct, then that means that another individual has failed to meet Hilda's standards (OK, I can be as enigmatic as you!!!)
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:01 pm ]
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Hilda's thoughts on anger are very interesting - but how would they equate with Nell's temperament? If it's normally wrong to be angry then Nell must have been wrong most of the time! :lol:

Hilda is very wise not to confront Meg until she has calmed down somewhat - though I note she has said she will isolate Meg for the night - that will give the girl time to reflect.


Thanks Mary, very thought-provoking.
Author:  di [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, Mary, how do you do it?! :) I do so feel for Hilda and her anguish at failing Mereille because of her anger. It's a wise move to isolate Meg until she can deal with her calmly and objectively. Perhaps she'll spend time with her precious Ellie and regain her composure before the confrontation tomorrow.
More, more please, Mary.
Elder, I think I'm thinking along the same lines as you - but - knowing Mary we're both probably way off beam. :lol:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary this continues to be very powerful - Ellie will learn far more from Hilda's real struggles to control herself than by thinking she is effortlessly perfect.

Have one or 2 ideas about Vivien's future, too :lol:

Thank you
Author:  Celia [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Meg's remark about 'only a ward,not a daughter' couldn't be further
from the mark I feel. Hilda does feel for Ellie as her daughter,the child
she never had. Part of her anger and anguish is around having to deal with a set of unfamiliar emotions.

I think she is going to find it very difficult to deal with Meg because of
her feelings for Ellie, and Meg is going to be a hard nut to crack even if
Hilda were to be on top form. If only Nell was still about Hilda could
back out and leave it to her.

Thank you Mary for another thought provoking post.
Author:  linda [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
That word ‘belong’ again, thought Hilda. Meg knew exactly which buttons to push! Then she thought back to that day – and night.


That's always the case with bullies - they can always manage to find the right buttons to push. That's what gives them the power to hurt people so much, and that's what makes Ellie so vulnerable.

Poor Hilda, she so seldom loses her temper that when she does the whole world explodes. Hopefully she is now back in control and will be able to deal with Meg rationally and with her ususal equanimity. I'm glad that she now sees how hard she was on Mireille. Although she needed to understand that she should have reported the bullying, Hilda was rather harsh with her. And, being Hilda, now she realises this, she will make sure that Mireille understands.

Quote:
She took a deep breath, spoke more firmly. “But, Ellie, my love for you is no excuse for my anger. St James tells us firmly: Your anger does not produce God’s righteousness.”


This is a very good lesson for Ellie to learn. We've already discovered that she has a temper. Perhaps seeing Hilda's struggle with her anger will help Ellie to learn more control over her own temper.

Thank you for not keeping us waiting long for this emotionally charged post, Mary.
Author:  Tara [ Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:01 am ]
Post subject: 
How good it is that Hilda has at last managed to lance that boil and enable Ellie to tell her everything. And what wise advice she gives her:
Quote:
learn from your mistakes. Don’t go back and gnaw on them
. Beautifully put.
I don't think Hilda will find it easy to get to sleep tonight and, although leaving dealing with Meg until the morning is clearly wise, it will increase the stress on her in some ways as she agonises about how to 'put back together what is broken'. What a responsibility. It does, however, serve Meg right to have to stew in her own juice for a while. I really hope she has a horrible night! Not that I'm vindictive or anything ...
Re. the anger thing, I don't think Hilda was necessarily suggesting that all anger is wrong. There are some things we should be angry about, angry enough to do something to change them, but the sort of overwhelming emotion that Hilda has just undergone, when balance and reason go out of the window, is never a good base to react from. It is so good for Ellie to see Hilda learning from a new experience and changing to accommodate it, and how brave Hilda is to let her do that.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Anjali [ Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:00 am ]
Post subject: 
I haven't been commenting on this, but that was another superb post, Mary. How will Hilda tackle Meg, I wonder? I like the way you've shown her anger - from the first uncontrollable burst, to her harsh words to Mireille, and now her natural composure is taking over....she's very right to wait till later to deal with Meg. And Ellie learning that her guardian is only human is lovely too.

I must be very dense because I can't imagine what Vivian is upto :)! I did pick up the hints but don't know where they're leading.....

Thanks Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank you. Am tempted to print out Hilda's words on anger for use next time I'm tempted to explode.....

and I hope I'm wrong about Vivien :shock:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was a hard conversation for Hilda to have but she is right, Ellie needs to get the poison out or it will continue to tear her apart for the rest of her life.

I am glad Hilda realised she had lost her temper with Mirielle as much as Mirielle needed to hear that she should have reported the bullying to Hilda straight away

Thanks Mary
Author:  MHE [ Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
What a hard conversation for Hilda, but as a result Ellie realises how much Hilda loves her and needs her. Once Meg is sorted out one way or another she will soon settle down.

Thank you Mary.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't think Ellie will doubt Hilda's love for her again after this ......
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you yet again for your thoughtful comments. I hope I'm not taxing your brains too much! :twisted: After all, I'm supposed to be entertaining you, not button-holing you. :lol:


.....Ellie’s arms went round her once more, and they held each other tightly, tending each other’s wounds, each of them strengthened and made whole again by love.

Finally, emboldened by Hilda’s resolute love, Ellie let her guardian in on all the nasty things Meg had said to her. Hilda listened in silence, apart from the occasional question to elicit more, and prayed for peace in her heart and on her lips. Ellie drew to a close and lay depleted against her, and Hilda knew the girl would now begin to feel better about the bullying – though, of course, the photos were atill missing. She rocked her gently, as though she were a very young child, but after a little while decided that she had to move, that she was needed elsewhere. She pulled away slightly, looked down at Ellie, who now appeared not only brighter but even a little thoughtful.

“I have to leave you, child, and do something about your photos. It might not be Meg and so I need to be careful. Miss Knowles and Matron will look after you until I can return. But no more tears! Trust me, instead. Promise?”

Ellie nodded, leaned in and planted a fervent kiss on her guardian’s cheek. Hilda returned the kiss with interest, and then stood up and reluctantly walked to the door. She opened it, turned and gave her ward the most enormous wink before disappearing. Vivien was waiting outside and Hilda drew her away from the door.

“She’s calmer now, but I imagine the storm was bitter and prolonged,” she said sombrely.

Vivien nodded and sighed. “It was awful, poor child. Hilda, I just had no idea…..”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Vivien. I didn’t have much more idea than you,” replied Hilda, so bitterly that Vivien stared at her. “She’s even better than her guardian at keeping things to herself. But I have to go and do something about these photos – and the school isn’t going to like my methods very much, I’m afraid.”

Her lovely voice had hardened and Vivien stared again. This was not a Hilda she had ever seen, and it scared and worried her.

“Can you stay with her, Vivien?” asked Hilda urgently. “You and Gwynneth? Take her back to my spare room. She can sleep there tonight, even if we do find her photos. She’s certainly not fit to be in school – and anyway I don’t want her to hear and see what I’m about to do.”

“Of course we can, my dear. Gwynneth’s on her way.” Vivien’s voice was rough with her sympathy. She reached out to clasp Hilda’s arm. “Vaya con Díos, mí amiga.”

Without another word, Hilda turned and fled, tears pricking her eyes. Why did sympathy always undo her?

She went swiftly to the Annexe, where she changed back into her more formal dress and jacket, then returned to her study by way of the staffroom. She spent five minutes there talking quickly to the staff who were present. Satisfied that they would do as she asked, despite some strange and even shocked looks from them, she finally made her way to her study, to find Matey propping up the wall outside the door.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, my friend,” Hilda said, in some surprise. “Come to make sure I’m not fainting all over the place, to quote your own inelegant words back at you?”

Matey shrugged, her lips twitched. “Not really your style, fainting at the drop of a hat, is it? But I was worried about you. That was a nasty shock you received.”

Hilda nodded, drew Matey over to the seats opposite the study door. “You saved me from myself in there, Gwynneth, and I will be eternally grateful to you. I could have said or done something I would have bitterly regretted for the rest of my life. I might have destroyed Mireille’s sense of self-worth for ever. As it is, I was extremely harsh, and may have knocked some of her new-found confidence.”

Matey considered her Head’s face, noted the grave eyes, the lines of worry, the wan cheeks. “You think so, do you? Perhaps I should tell you something, then. I went into your study just now to wait for you, and found Mireille already in situ. She told me why she was there, what you had asked her to do, wise soul that you are. She told me something else, as well. Want to hear?”

Matey’s voice was never more serious, but there was an undercurrent of amusement, which caught Hilda’s attention. “She told me that during your interview it was as though you had ripped her skin to shreds…. wait, love, wait….. so that all her stuffing fell out and she wondered would she survive. There were pieces of herself all over the floor. She said it was the worst experience of her life. But then, somehow, you gathered all the bits back up, and sewed her back together again, stitch by painful stitch. Only, you made the stitching tighter, so tight that she knew the stuffing you’d put back would never leak out again and make such a mess. She said she felt safe, and somehow whole, as never before! And to cap it all – I hope you’re ready for this! - she hopes one day, when she’s very old, that she’ll be as wise and loving as you are!”

By the time she had finished speaking, Hilda’s jaw was dropping. She gaped at Matey, and then suddenly a gurgle escaped, and she clapped her hand over her mouth, a look of mortification on her face.

“Very old, eh? Oh dear! I shouldn’t laugh, Gwynneth, not after what I put her through, but how imaginatively she puts it. She’s a very thoughtful and intelligent girl, and far too forgiving. But – maybe I didn’t fail her after all…. Or did I?”

“You never fail them, love,” Matey stated firmly. “Every child should have such a Headmistress, especially a girl who made the error she did. I honestly couldn’t believe my ears. No wonder you lost all control so dramatically. I’ve not seen you as angry as that in years.”

Hilda’s face was filled with the most enormous sorrow. “Not since Bride Bettany’s study was wrecked,” she affirmed softly. “And even then I didn’t feel the powerful rage I felt today – although Nell’s death pushed me to the very edge, that night Madge was here. I’m not in the habit of throwing teacups at walls, though I was lucky it was only one – the whole lot nearly followed that first. I was literally insane with grief, I think, for those twilight hours.”

Matey laid a comforting hand on Hilda’s. “But you loved Nell, just as you love Ellie – so of course you’re going to lose your cool, even if you are the most controlled person I know. Love has a way of niggling under the skin and into the very fibres of one’s being. Don’t blame yourself for your very natural anger. You hurt if Ellie hurts, just as you did when Nell hurt. And Nell could rage with the best of them when you were hurt.”

Hilda could only stare. Was this the caustic and unemotional Matron Lloyd, who had refused ever to speak of her own loss and grief? Matey caught the look, shifted uncomfortably and took the conversation back to safer waters. “What are you going to do about it all?”

Hilda gave her a quick run-down and Matey listened with grave attention, and sat in silent thought afterwards. Finally, she admitted, “Effective, love. I can see why you need to do it.”

“But – it’s rather like taking a hammer to crack a nut,” sighed Hilda with a nod. “I know. But Mireille’s actions have rather stymied me, wouldn’t you say? I can’t accuse Meg, since she’s already done so. If I’d had free rein, maybe I could have got Meg to talk, but not now.”

She lifted her shoulders, let them droop in sudden defeat. Matey got to her feet and tried to raise her spirits. “Go do what you have to do. Ellie needs you. Although I’ve just popped in to find you and saw you’d already done wonders with her. Don’t worry about her. She’s made of sturdy stuff – and she has you, the best source of comfort possible. God be with you, love,” she added, unwittingly echoing Vivien’s parting words.

Hilda entered her study quietly and found Mireille sitting, deep in thought, on the couch. She sprang instantly to her feet and Hilda searched her face, saw how white she was and yet, there was even more resolve there than there had been the night before, a new maturity. Hilda went over to her, took her by the shoulders.

“Mireille, will you forgive me?” Mireille stared at her. “I was very angry, child, and it was wrong of me. My feelings for Ellie got in the way of my job as Headmistress, and I blamed you more than I should have done. I did warn you. Even I, old as I am, make mistakes.”

“Mais…but, there is nothing to forgive, Miss Annersley,” stuttered Mireille, hardly able to believe this was happening. “I did let you down. I was wrong in keeping it from you. You could have stopped Meg sooner and then Ellie might not have hurt herself. I certainly shouldn’t have tackled Meg as I did. It only made her angry. I thought… I thought I had to do it all myself, you see. I forgot that, at the beginning of term, you told me to come to you if there was anything I couldn’t handle, and ask for your help. But I didn’t!”

Hilda restrained her emotions with some difficulty and leaned forward to kiss Mireille gently. “You’re very forgiving, child. Thank you. You know, Mireille, I think you’re going to end up being one of the best and most thoughtful Head Girls we’ve ever had. You put me to shame.”

Mireille blushed and looked down in confusion. But Hild hadn’t finished. “Now, I want you to go to the Prefects, and when you hear the bell, you are all to go to the Common Rooms, assemble the Middles and Seniors and escort them back to the Hall. No need to offer them any explanations. I take it you organised someone to put out the benches back out.”

Mireille nodded. “I left Gillian and Jean in charge of that.”

“Then off you go, child, and I’ll see you in the Hall.”

When the door had closed she seated herself at her desk, dropped her face into her hands, took deep, steadying breaths and began to pray silently. Slowly, slowly, the guilt, anger and bitterness all seeped away to be replaced by a calm implacability. It would be done her way, since Nell was not there to offer advice or play Devil's advocate. On her head alone would the blame lie if it all went awry.

She rose and went to ring the bell. Returning to her study, she phoned through to the kitchen and had a word with Karen, then she stood once more before the wooden hearts until she heard the sound of many feet moving towards the Hall. Quickly, she shrugged on her gown and hood, settling them round her neatly. When all sound had ceased, she took another steadying breath, opened the door and made her way to the Hall…
Author:  MHE [ Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely Mary Hilda back on an even keel.

Thank you.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary.

Hilda and Ellie understand each other better now, and Mireille understands Hilda - and herself - much better, too.

So, just how is Hilda planning to get to the bottom of 'the mystery of the disappearing photos' :shock: :shock:
Author:  clair [ Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary - impressed by Hilda's control though, if I lose it it takes days for me to calm down and I'd certainly never be as rational as this.
The depth of the emotions is truly stunning throughout.
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Jul 20, 2008 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's nice, very nice - good that Ellie seems at peace and that Hilda has been able to speak with Mirelle.


Thank you Mary, that was excellent.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh my - where to start!!! This is so far-reaching.

Quote:
“She’s even better than her guardian at keeping things to herself.”


Hilda definitely speaks the truth there - look how long it has taken her to pursuade Ellie to tell her everything. And talk about the kettle calling the pot black -but at least she recognises that.


Quote:
“Vaya con Díos, mí amiga.”


And Gwynneth says the same thing, except in English... But they are both right - Hilda definitely needs His strength to tackle this.

Quote:
“She told me that during your interview it was as though you had ripped her skin to shreds…. wait, love, wait….. so that all her stuffing fell out and she wondered would she survive. There were pieces of herself all over the floor. She said it was the worst experience of her life. But then, somehow, you gathered all the bits back up, and sewed her back together again, stitch by painful stitch. Only, you made the stitching tighter, so tight that she knew the stuffing you’d put back would never leak out again and make such a mess. She said she felt safe, and somehow whole, as never before!


Sorry - that is a *huge* quotation, but I couldn't see how to shorten it. Mireille's interpretation of what Hilda has done to and for her is worthy of someone twice her age. But it's rather wonderful that she has the maturity to recognise and understand it all; it will certainly strengthen her endeavours as Head Girl.


Quote:
Love has a way of niggling under the skin and into the very fibres of one’s being.


Such an expressive way of stating that fact - especially coming from Gwynneth....

Quote:
I forgot that, at the beginning of term, you told me to come to you if there was anything I couldn’t handle, and ask for your help. But I didn’t!”


Good for Mireille for having the courage to admit that - it's not a mistake she will make again.

Quote:
Slowly, slowly, the guilt, anger and bitterness all seeped away to be replaced by a calm implacability. It would be done her way, since Nell was not there to offer advice or play Devil's advocate. On her head alone would the blame lie if it all went awry.


However harsh Hilda may have to be, we know that she will, in the end, temper justice with at least some mercy, even in Meg's case, and even if Meg doesn't realise that she has done so. She may need all her self-control to do so, but it will happen.

And we will be waiting anxiously to see just what she does do, secure in the knowledge that we will be 'virtually' present at the denouoement, just as we have been here, thanks to the power of your words, Mary. Thank you, as always.
Author:  Tara [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Hilda is certainly fully back in control of herself and of the whole situation - but what is she going to do??? The references to hammers cracking nuts, and her 'calm implacability' as she faces up to the course of action she's decided on are quite scary! I think the school needs to hide ...

I'm glad Hilda has sorted things with Mireille, and loved Matey's recounting of her conversation with M, it's such a mixture of wisdom, mature insight and humour:
Quote:
She said she felt safe, and somehow whole, as never before! And to cap it all – I hope you’re ready for this! - she hopes one day, when she’s very old, that she’ll be as wise and loving as you are.
Mireille is already quite wise, I think.

I'm going to be reading the next section from behind the sofa, Mary.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:57 am ]
Post subject: 
I love Matey there and Mirielle has been very forgiving. Thanks Mary
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
I don't just **want** to know what Hilda is going to do, I actually **NEED** to know or I will expire with anticipation !

I can't cope with cliffies :wink:
Author:  di allen [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Cool
Author:  di [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:50 am ]
Post subject: 
cool
Author:  dackel [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow. Wonder what Hilda is going to do - she can't accuse Meg alone, so it's going to have to be the whole school, isn't it?

I love the way Mireille described what Hilda did. Having been told that she doesn't have to do everything on her own - that is is indeed arrogant to think you CAN do everything on your own - she is not going to forget again, and will realise her own limitations in the future. I think Hilda is right and she will turn out to be very good Head Girl.


Thanks, Mary, that was wonderful as always.
Author:  Celia [ Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda must be so exhausted, ferreting out the truth from Ellie, deciding how to cope with the photo question,apologising to Mireille ,even hearing
the latter's view of Hilda tearing her apart and putting her back together;
none can be done without cost,and we know that inside she is longong to
be back with the ward who has become the daughter she never had. Add
the continuing ache of no Nell to act as devil's advocate.....poor Hilda.

Thank you Mary for another 'fly on the wall' post. We are there with
them all ,due to your ability to take us with you as you write.
Author:  Anjali [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Identity Hunt wrote:
Mary,
I don't just **want** to know what Hilda is going to do, I actually **NEED** to know or I will expire with anticipation !

I can't cope with cliffies :wink:


What she said!!
Author:  MaryR [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Identity Hunt wrote:
Mary, I don't just **want** to know what Hilda is going to do, I actually **NEED** to know or I will expire with anticipation ! :wink:

Expired yet, Sian and Anjali?!? :twisted: :

Tara wrote:
The references to hammers cracking nuts, and her 'calm implacability' as she faces up to the course of action she's decided on are quite scary! I think the school needs to hide ...

How did you guess, Tara? :shock:

Absolute silence reigned in the Hall. The girls were puzzled as to why they had been summoned to an assembly when they had only just left the Hall a little earlier, but a concerted gasp of astonishment ran round the serried ranks as the Abbess swept in through the upper door in full regalia, her black gown swirling around her, almost like a separate entity. Something important then! One look at her pale, set face convinced them all there was trouble ahead and they rose quickly to their feet.

Hilda went to stand by the lectern and gazed with stern, sad eyes at the sea of faces before her. There seemed to her to be a collective holding of breath. She nodded.

“Thank you, girls. Be seated, please.” Her voice was quiet, unhurried, but the Seniors and staff noticed that some of its gentle, mellow quality was missing. “I regret having to disturb your lovely afternoon like this, but something has happened that requires immediate action; something particularly unpleasant, as I’m sure you will already have gathered. You will notice I haven’t called the Juniors here, and that is because I’m quite convinced they had nothing to do with this matter. I’m almost convinced the Middles haven’t, either, but I’m afraid they must suffer like the Seniors, as I can’t be one hundred per cent certain.”

She paused, but not one girl turned her head to look at her neighbour. No one wished to court trouble in the tense atmosphere that prevailed. Hilda leaned on the lectern as she continued.

“It hurts me to have to tell you this, but there is a girl among you who has crept secretly into a dormitory not her own – a breaking of school rules – and has stolen, yes, stolen, another girl’s photographs. Indeed, she has stolen every single photograph this other girl has in school.”

This time the concerted gasp was even louder – and everyone there tried to look wholly innocent, which had the strange effect of making some of them look distinctly guilty. Hilda would have smiled if she hadn’t been so upset. And the staff, as dismayed as the girls, understood their reactions as they watched from the dais.

“So – we have a breaking of rules, and we have a crime. Oh yes, girls, make no mistake. Theft is a crime, one that often leads to a prison sentence.” Hilda’s voice had hardened a little as she remembered Ellie’s distress, and the staff glanced at each other in concern. But she quickly controlled herself, though the effort caused her eyes to darken as though in pain.

“Not only did this person steal the photos residing on the bureau of her victim, but she also searched her drawers to find the other photos, thus compounding her crime. One has to ask oneself if she knew beforehand that there were others – or if she simply took a chance.” Her eyes travelled round the room, from Seniors to Middles and back again, the seconds ticking slowly by as she did so. “I’m giving the perpetrator a chance to redeem herself a little by owning up here and now, so saving herself, and the rest of us, a great deal of unpleasantness.”

She stopped speaking abruptly and a desperate quiet infiltrated the Hall as everyone there held their breath in agonised suspense. The silence lengthened, stretched, seemed ready to snap clean in two, but no one moved. No one rose to their feet.

So tense were they that they all jumped when Hilda broke that painful silence, her voice soft, implacable. “So, we have a coward in the school. Only a coward sneaks around in secret; only a coward steals from another; only a coward refuses to own up and take their punishment, even when they know that their punishement will be worse if they are found out later.”

The girls writhed on their benches at the threat implicit in the dangerous softness of that voice. They silently begged the thief to stand up and release the spell the Abbess had cast and so let them all off the hook. Nothing happened. Still no one rose to their feet. In the stillness, Hilda poured herself some water with a hand as steady as a rock. She drank it slowly, while her eyes continued to scan the room. The staff and older girls could only admire her composure and self-control. Very few of them thought of the cost to Hilda. Never had she felt so alone; never had the burden of leadership weighed so heavily.

Her stomach clenched, her throat tight, she placed the glass down. “Very well! This is what is now going to happen, and I apologise in advance to every girl present, except the thief. You will be taken to your form rooms where you will sit in silence with your form mistress for thirty minutes. You may read, but no one may leave the room. During those thirty minutes, I will be in my study, and I’m hoping the perpetrator of this crime will find the courage to come and see me there.” She turned to her Head Girl. “Mireille, will you please sit with Form Inter V, as Miss Knowles is otherwise engaged?”

Mireille’s heart glowed within as she read the message in Hilda’s eyes and voice. She was being forgiven. The Abbess could have asked a mistress to do this, but she had chosen her Head Girl instead. She was trusting her, even after all Mireille had done!

“Yes, Miss Annersley,” she murmured and Hilda nodded before turning back to the school. Her eyes were now slate-grey and very cold. “If no one comes to me in those thirty minutes, I will ring the bell, and each room will be searched thoroughly by the form mistress – desks, cupboards, lockers, everything….. While this is going on, the other mistresses and the prefects will be taking each dormitory of girls in turn up to their cubicles and they too will be searched, as well as all wardrobes, cupboards and bathrooms. The common rooms, splasheries and lockers, library, science rooms and so on will also be searched. Miss Ferrars, would you co-ordinate that, please? It will take as long as it takes, girls, and no one will have their evening meal until it is completed.”

Mouths were gaping open, jaws were dropping, all over the Hall, but the mistresses and older girls were asking themselves what else the Headmistress could do, if no one owned up. Still, it was a massive undertaking. Perhaps that was the point – to show the perpetrator just how seriously their Headmistress was taking this and that there was nothing she wouldn’t do to discover the truth. Heaven help whoever it was!

Hilda saw the varying degrees of consternation, shock and horror on the young faces before her and knew exactly what they were thinking. Matey had indicated that she thought the same. Hilda’s heart had quailed at the very thought of it. But a crime was a crime. The girl had been offered more leeway than she deserved. Hilda spoke again, her voice growing softer even while it still reached to the far corners. “I’m hoping the girl who has done this will realise how unpleasant this is for everyone and will be brave enough to call a halt. Believe me, if she doesn’t, and we find out during the search who she is, it will go very hard on her.”

Everyone shuddered at the sudden and deadly cold that had permeated the soft voice at the last sentence. Most of them vowed, on the spot, to give up any but the most innocuous of crimes from that moment on. Every girl there knew what the Abbess was capable of when she was really roused!

“So that you know what it is you are looking for, I should perhaps tell you that the photos belong to Ellie Drake, who some of you know is my ward. If they turn up, don’t be surprised if among them you find a photo of myself with Ellie. The others are photos of her parents, taken years ago when Ellie was small. Both her parents are dead now, so these photos are very precious to her. Some are in frames, and some are enclosed in an envelope.”

They stared at her bleakly. The crime just got worse. The younger girls shivered in their shoes. The older ones were doing some serious thinking.

“Miss Derwent, would you dismiss everyone to their form rooms, please? I will go now and wait in my study. The thirty minutes begin from this moment!” Before the girls could blink, she had gone, with one last swirl of her black gown.

Reaching her study, she closed the door and then leaned against it as she began to tremble uncontrollably, her heart thudding in her chest, a roaring in her ears. Wrapping her arms round herself, she sank down into the nearest chair, clenching her teeth and trying to control the convulsive shudders. She felt the perspiration breaking out on her brow and realised how cold she was. She huddled inside her gown for warmth, and slowly the shaking died away, leaving her even more exhausted than before. Finally, feeling her legs just might support her, she rose to her feet and went to her little wash room, where she splashed cold water into her face. She looked into the mirror, aghast at what she could see.

God help me, Nell, what have I done? But what else is there? Why aren’t you here to help….?

She leaned forward until her forehead was touching the glass. Closing her eyes, she forced back the tears of loneliness and whispered a quiet prayer - for peace in her heart, for compassion on her tongue.

Let Your words of love be on my lips, Lord, if anyone knocks at this door. Help me put Ellie completely out of my mind for the moment.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tara was right in her suggestion - the school definitely needs to hide!!!

This is a Hilda most of them, including her staff, do not know - hard, implacable and without a hint of the softening which usually lies hidden beneath her stern visage. But she leaves them in no doubt that theft is theft, and a criminal offence at any time - the fact that the victim is Ellie makes it doubly sure the culprit is in serious trouble- but in the circumstances she would be in any case, regardless of the victim's identity. I fervently hope that the culprit will indeed own up before the whole Middle and Senior school are subjected to the search of their possessions which Hilda has decreed.

Thanks, Mary - I can tell you I am shivering in my shoes with everyone in that Hall. :cry: But I'm glad that Hilda was able to show Mireille that she still trusted her, by asking her to take charge of Vivien's form. :)

I know you've only just posted, but I think I NEED to know what happens next before I'm too much older- please! :) :)
Author:  Chelsea [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow - a very strong Hilda.

Ummm....how does the thief go to Hilda's office if no one is allowed to leave their form room? I think it would take a lot for the thief to announce to their form and mistress that they were the thief (and thus get excused from the room).

I'm not convinced, as Elder is, that Hilda would be this hard had the victim been anyone but Ellie.

I am joining Elder is waiting with baited breath for what is to come.
Author:  Celia [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Maybe Hilda hopes the culprit will go straight to the study,and not to her
formroom. I think she would have been just as angry if the victim
wasn't Ellie. She was livid when Bride's study was wrecked,and called the school together in just the same way. All that seems different here
is how much self control she is having to exert to keep her hands and
voice steady....it makes her appear more implacable and distances her
from everyone.

Thank you Mary, I need more too, the number of expired persons is
rapidly increasing methinks :twisted:
Author:  Pat [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have always wondered how anyone expected as girld to stand up like that ion front of the whole school to confess. I know they did, but that's in a fictional world. I hope that she confesses now.
Author:  Sugar [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
This happened when we were in 4th year. The Head got the whole school together and staff searched everywhere for something that someone had stolen. Can't remember what it was now. It happened again the day some bright spark added ribena to the holy water as well.

Mary I have caught up on loads of this recently - you are writng the bullying so well and Hilda's relationship with Ellie is lovely.
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes that was the only way Hilda could react, wasn't it? I think she would have been just as wholesale if it had been anyone else but the difference here - well two differences, firstly that she is having to rein in so much fury, and second that she does not have Nell there to shoulder some of the weight - even if Nell was in a different country (during Bride for example) she was still there.


Thanks Mary - riveting.
Author:  MHE [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lesley said
Quote:
Yes that was the only way Hilda could react, wasn't it? I think she would have been just as wholesale if it had been anyone else but the difference here - well two differences, firstly that she is having to rein in so much fury, and second that she does not have Nell there to shoulder some of the weight - even if Nell was in a different country (during Bride for example) she was still there.


Absolutely! Thanks Mary - looking forward to the next scene when you're ready to post.
Author:  Tara [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
the mistresses and older girls were asking themselves what else the Headmistress could do, if no one owned up.

Exactly. There is no other choice, and no need for Hilda to be so anguished about it. She has apologised to the girls for the necessary invasion of their privacy and it isn't, despite her fears, a hammer to crack a nut, it is all she can do. I can almost find it in me to feel sorry for the thief. It would take almost superhuman courage to go and own up (and, as Celia pointed out, if she doesn't do it straightaway, she won't be able to), but the consequences of not doing so and being found out will be dire. There is a tiny worry at the back of my mind that Meg (or whoever) might have been clever enough to hide them somewhere else, but Hilda is being so thorough that the possibilities are very few. I wonder when they'll get their meal! I wonder, too, if anyone else saw anything? The increasing realisation of the girls of the true cruelty of the crime might well prompt someone to share anything they know.

Typical of Hilda that, in the midst of all this, she thinks about encouraging Mireille by choosing her to supervise Vivien's form.

Waiting eagerly for the next bit. You don't really need sleep, do you, Mary ... :D
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:33 am ]
Post subject: 
I only hope the thief owns up in the private of the study and that it was only nerves that stopped her from doing it in the hall and I hope they find the photos. I only hope that if the girl in question doesn't confess that she is found out soon

Thanks Mary for posting so soon. I was on tenterhooks to see what was going to happen next. Please take pity on your poor fans who are dying to read the next installment. :wink: :lol: Pretty please, with a chocolate on top
Author:  Anjali [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:21 am ]
Post subject: 
If I wasn't on tenterhooks to find out if the culprit owns up, I would hide too :shock:! Hilda's self control was amazing there, as was your writing, Mary. Thanks.
Author:  Luisa [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
I curled up just reading that! Would hate to have been there.
But what else could Hilda have done?
I only hope we don't find a pile of ash somewhere :(
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Luisa wrote:
I curled up just reading that! Would hate to have been there.
But what else could Hilda have done?
I only hope we don't find a pile of ash somewhere :(


Luisa, you have taken the words straight out of my mouth !

I do hope Meg has not destroyed the photographs. If she has, heaven help her. I imagine that at least half the school would be willing to flay her alive.

When people live together in a community like a boarding school, you do need to be able to trust that the people with whom you share living space will respect your belongings.

If you cannot rely on this, the atmosphere of the school becomes poisonous with distrust, fear, resentment and a whole host of other negative emotions. Not a nice situation at all. The older girls will certainly understand all this.

Poor Hilda - but there is absolutely nothing else she can do, is there ?

Eeek. :shock:
Author:  jacey [ Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, I feel thoroughly scarified! And I *know* I didn't take the photographs. I hope the culprit will go the Study, and I hope that you will be able to write that scene quickly. However, I'm sure writing this is draining for you, it can't but be, so I will try to possess myself in patience!
Author:  dackel [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I thought this was what Hilda would have to do - and if the culprit doesn't own up, what other option does she have? None so far as I can see.

I hope the culprit does own up. Otherwise they are going to have a tremendous task before them.

I only hope the photos haven't been destroyed. But even if they have I guess the frames would still be somewhere.

Hilda made me shiver in my shoes!

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
So, I have just read three updates (pick yourself up off the floor, Mary, yes, I have managed to evade the demands of the packing for an little while!) and they were fascinating to read together and see the slow transformation of Hilda from that loving warm and utterly approachable person to the leader, who has top make decisions that will not necessarily be approved of and carry out actions that may be resented - and yet must do so for the good of the community.

With regard to Hilda's thoughts on anger, it seems to me that the management of anger, so that what results is action rather than reaction is what is being discussed here. To act on that blinding choking fury can be a relief, but can have unintended and possibly harmful outcomes that can hinder rather than help the situation.

And hearing Gwynneth's rather surprising account of Mireille's own analysis of what Hilda did for her will undoubtedly comfort Hilda, who then supports Mireille in that public expression of her trust in her. And how very moving to hear Gwynneth speaking of grief and loss and anger like that.

Then that last scene, well that was scary, and definitely not for the faint-hearted! Nobody who was present will be able to forget Hilda's words, and the way in which she impressed them on her audience... and how terrifying for the perpetrator!

Thank you Mary - amazing, just amazing.
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you so much for the interest in Hilda's problems - especially as I am wobbling mightily about it all at the moment. Put it down to RL. :oops: Think I need to contemplate the same hymn as Hilda here.

Tara wrote:
There is a tiny worry at the back of my mind that Meg (or whoever) might have been clever enough to hide them somewhere else, but Hilda is being so thorough that the possibilities are very few

Been at my scripts yet again, Judith? :lol: Great mind-reading....

......She leaned forward until her forehead was touching the glass. Closing her eyes, she forced back the tears of loneliness and whispered a quiet prayer - for peace in her heart, for compassion on her tongue.

Let your words of love be on my lips, Lord, if anyone knocks at this door. Help me put Ellie completely out of my mind for the moment.

Taking a firm hold of herself, she dried her face, tidied her hair, removed her gown and settled at her desk. She might as well spend the time gainfully. There was plenty of work needing her attention, despite the large amount she had demolished while she and Ellie had been alone earlier. Alone! The word resonated within and she shivered again. Forcing its painful connotations away, she pulled a set of essays towards her. They should concentrate her mind wonderfully.

They did – for about five minutes! She came back to herself to find she had been staring sightlessly at the book open in front of her on the desk. For how long, she wondered. With a sigh, she laid down her pen and wandered to the window, where she peered out into the darkness. Still snowing relentlessly! She was lucky that good behaviour had reigned so far this weekend. She had a feeling that would continue for quite a while, after the almighty shock she had just administered. Not normally the way she liked to keep order, but perhaps it was all for the good. Although the shock didn’t seem to have affected the girl who had taken the photos!

She shivered as the cold once more invaded her limbs and the band round her head tightened. Unable to keep still, she turned and looked round her room, searching for something - anything - to calm her distracted thoughts. As though in answer to her unspoken pleading, a soft knock came at the connecting door, making her start violently. Her heart thumped, but when she glanced over in that direction, her shoulders slumped in discouragement.

“Sorry, love, only me, I’m afraid,” said Matey softly, her face concerned. “I take it no one has been to own up to the dastardly deed. Can I do anything? Get you a drink?”

Hilda rubbed her upper arms. How cold she was! “A coffee would be wonderful, Gwynneth. And if you could bring me the Prayer Book off my bedside cabinet, it might help.”

Her voice was husky, and Matey’s shrewd eyes sharpened. “You look awful!” she stated bluntly. “But there’s precious little I can do for you at present so I’ll fetch drink and book.”

She was back at the connecting door in less than five minutes, to find Hilda seated on the couch, hunched forward, face buried in her hands. With nary a rustle, Matey moved across, set the cup on the low table and sat beside her Headmistress.

“Feeling sick?” Hilda’s head moved slightly. “Head thumping, heart pounding, cold shivers, mind awhirl,” diagnosed Matey, with a huge sigh. “It’s a mess, whichever way you look at it, love, but you’ve given it your best shot. Nell herself would tell you that. But even if whoever it is doesn’t turn up now, we’ll find her, love. Or you will. But, I guess then your problem will be what to do with her….”

“She’s not going to turn up, though, is she? The search is pointless,” replied Hilda in a dull monotone. “She’s hidden the photos somewhere we won’t find them, so she feels safe, which is why she didn’t come forward in the Hall. She can hold out as long as she likes unless we find some evidence that proves her guilt.”

Matey was silenced. That thought simply hadn’t occurred to her. Hilda was too damn quick for her own good. She touched her friend’s arm, to find it rigid. “Hilda, drink your coffee. There’s still hope. If by any chance she does suddenly cave in and turn up, she mustn’t find you sitting here in this state.”

However, when Hilda did lift her head, Matey quailed at the pain in her eyes, eyes as bleak and grey as mist on the hills. If ever there was time when her Headmistress needed Nell Wilson, reflected Matey, that time was now. Not for advice, not for ideas, but for simple support, for someone to lean on whom she trusted beyond words.

“Hilda…..” she began, but Hild reached out and squeezed her friend’s hand.

“Don’t worry, Gwynneth. I’m fine. You’re right, and I can’t apologise enough for falling apart like this in front of you.”

For answer Matey merely picked up the cup. “Drink!” she ordered. When the cup was drained, she added gently, “Hilda, Ellie is hurt, both physically and mentally; a pupil has been bullying her; another pupil, or maybe the same one, has begun stealing; your Head Girl has let you down; you’ve just had to do something you hate, which is affecting the whole school. You’re human, love, just like the rest of us – so don’t expect to have no reaction to all this. You’re tired, which doesn’t help. You’ve had a continual headache this weekend. You’ve had to keep I don’t know how many people going, including someone you love, on precious little sleep. Even Superman might wobble in his flight and miss his landing with all that on his shoulders. I’m just glad that you feel able to let go and show me your hurt – hiding it will only make you ill.”

Hilda’s tense face relaxed as the coffee and Matey’s wise words spread their warmth through her body and spirit. She set the cup down, smiled fleetingly at Matey.

“Thank you, Gwynneth,” she whispered. “I can manage now. You’re always there just when needed. I don’t know how you manage it.”

“I take my example from you, love,” said Matey firmly, and passed over the black leather-bound book sitting in her lap. “No, no arguments, please – it’s true. Here, try and find some comfort in this. Unless you wish me to stay?”

Hilda’s eyes had shed some of their pain. “No, go back to Ellie, give her a hug from me.”

Matey’s lips twitched. “Um, I can’t actually call it going back, as I barely spent two minutes with them. I just made sure they were installed in the Annexe and then I slipped back down and stood outside the Hall listening to you. A masterly performance it was, too, Miss Annersley. You had even me, the school tyrant, shaking in my shoes. When you mean business, you really mean it, don’t you? I don’t think there are many girls who will be tempted to put a foot wrong over the next few days, not with you in that gently ruthless mood of yours. And no, I’m not going to apologise for eavesdropping.”

Hilda had been staring at her in open-mouthed astonishment during this speech, but she sighed again at the end. “Why should you apologise? You’re as much a member of staff as everyone else, so had a right to hear it. But it won’t do any good – and I’ve disturbed the whole school for no good reason.” Her face was sombre in the extreme.

“Listen, and listen good, Hilda Annersley!” Matey’s voice was gruff and fierce. “Doing nothing was never an option. You had to go through the motions, you had to send the sinner a warning, and your mammoth undertaking will have deterred anyone else who feels like committing a similar crime. It’s nasty, whichever way you look at it, so stick to your guns and we’ll get to the bottom of it.”

Even with its mixed metaphors, her message was clear, and Hilda squeezed her hand again in thanks. “Will you go back to Ellie, now, though, and tell her I’ll come as soon as I can? But it will probably be a while, as I think I need to be visible at Abendessen.”

Matey nodded. “’Fraid so, love, even though I have been trying to keep you away from them all day. You have to keep sending the message that you’re on the case and won’t give up easily. Maybe the sinner will have a re-think, even if she appears not to want to confess right now. The thirty minutes are almost up.”

Hilda considered the spare face and kindly eyes. “Maybe, but I seriously doubt it now. We’ll see. Meanwhile, will you do something else for me? Will you stay near a phone, because if it comes to a search, and it looks as though it will, I want you to do something for me?”

“Okay, love. Can do! But before I do – please wipe that guilt from your mind.” Hilda’s lips opened then closed again in shock at Matey’s forceful tones. “I know you, remember! But your anger was very natural in the circumstances, and it was right, even if you disagree. Mireille was way out of line. Yes, she’s new to the job, but even more reason she should have listened to Erica - and thought of Ellie. Forgive yourself and forget it, which is exactly what you told Mireille, I’m sure.”

Matey grasped Hilda’s shoulder a moment then turned and went back out the way she had come, leaving her friend seeking in vain for a suitable rejoinder. Who’d be a Headmistress, Matey thought to herself as she made for the Annexe. She shuddered at the eerie silence now pervading the school. Hilda was nothing if not comprehensive when it came to wrong-doing by her pupils.

Hilda, meanwhile, after staring for long moments at the door through which Matey had left, gave up and bent her head over her book, looking for the right page. Carefully, unhurriedly, she read the day’s prayers and readings, even reciting some of them out loud, and found her pounding heart slowing, her shredded nerves relaxing. What Matey had started, in her own inimitable way, was now being reinforced by the well-known and well-loved words, and into Hilda’s quieter mind seeped a verse from a hymn by Whittier, quietening her even further.

Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease.
Take from our soul the strain and stress,
And let our ordered minds confess
The beauty of Thy peace.

She breathed deeply, her control back in place, God’s hand gentle on her heart. She had done what she considered the right thing, so now she must let it go, and trust Him. Why did the loss of Nell make her doubt herself so much? Nell’s spirit was still there, just out of sight, but very close, as was the Lord. She had nothing to fear….
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
She had done what she considered the right thing, so now she must let it go, and trust Him.


That's often the most difficult thing to do - to let go and trust . . .

Thank you Mary
Author:  Luisa [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry Mary, no criticism - just thank you. I could almost like that hymn after that.....
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
So pleased Matey was there for her - and Hilda has already seen to the next step, hasn't she? That the thief feels safe and so won't confess. Looking forward to seeing how Hilda will combat that - for she will.


Thanks Mary.


(Edited because I can't spell! :roll: )
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:

Quote:
She had done what she considered the right thing, so now she must let it go, and trust Him. Why did the loss of Nell make her doubt herself so much? Nell’s spirit was still there, just out of sight, but very close, as was the Lord. She had nothing to fear….

(my italics)

There is so much to ponder in this piece, Mary, but that last paragraph truly sums up so much of it, as does the quotation from the hymn. And those of you who have, like me, sung that hymn to the tune 'Repton', I think you'll agree that the crescendo of lines 3 & 4 allied to the sudden quietness of the last line render the words even more appropriate here.

Another quotation, this one from Mendelsson's Elijah:

O rest in the Lord, wait patiently for him....

also fits. She simply has to trust that He will help her to see this through.

The other thing which is so impressive here is Matey's unfailing support and reassurance that Hilda has done all she can, and that her anger was a natural response to Ellie's suffering, the bullying and Mireille's failure to report to her more quickly. It's that steady treatment and affection which really does so much to help Hilda regain her usual perspective - that and those few quiet moments alone with her God.

Yes, Hilda needs all her strength to deal with this situation, and yes, we know she will deal with it faithfully, regardless of any cost to herself - but this interlude, and the quiet talk with Matey, have helped her so much.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Tara [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The search is pointless ... she feels safe ... She can hold out as long as she likes unless we find some evidence that proves her guilt.
Ouch. When you've done what you had to, despite your own distaste, and it looks as if it's not going to work ...
But the search hasn't even started yet and there must be some evidence somewhere. The trouble is that, if nothing is found and they have to release the girls, it will, perhaps, give Meg the opportunity to do something worse, like destroying the photos and that would be truly awful.

I do love Matey, so full of sense and compassion and understanding Hilda so well. Love her humour, too:
Quote:
Even Superman might wobble in his flight and miss his landing with all that on his shoulders.


It's good to see Hilda regaining her peace and equilibrium at the end. She will certainly need it all in the next few hours.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Ouch. Eeek. Wibble.

That was terrifying, Mary! I wonder how they will get around this one...
Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda's going to need all her strength. Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Sarah [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh wow, Mary! I can't wait to see what happens next!!!!! :D
Author:  dackel [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Matron is a very good friend to Hilda. Quiet and unobtrusive but always there at the right time.

I hope they manage to find the pictures and that Hilda works out where they are even if it is in a very unexpected place. Somehow a snowdrift comes to mind, which I really hope isn't the case? :shock:

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  linda [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary, I've finally managed to catch up with the last three posts and you've once again left me breathless with the power of your writing.

Hilda has left the culprit in no doubt as to how the theft of the photos is viewed and has of course ensured that everyone knows what has happened. It would be difficult for Meg (or any one else) to confess to the theft in front of everyone, and it doesn't seem as though she has found the courage to come to the study to confess, so once again you have left us on a cliff!

I loved Matey here. She is there in the background, watching and waiting until she is needed, always ready to offer a word of comfort and support, along with practical succour

Quote:
Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease.
Take from our soul the strain and stress,
And let our ordered minds confess
The beauty of Thy peace.


Hilda needs His peace to calm her and give her strength to deal anything that the coming hours may bring. She knows that she must contain her anger but Nell will be beside her helping her to maintain her equilibrium and give her strength to deal faithfully with the sinner. I just hope that the photos are found before Meg has a chance to destroy the evidence if she has not done so already

Thank you Mary. Please don't keep us waiting too long for the next instalment.
Author:  MaryR [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
linda wrote:
Please don't keep us waiting too long for the next instalment.

Is this soon enough, Linda? :lol: Thank you all for the responses. Encouragement indeed.

....She breathed deeply, her control back in place, God’s hand gentle on her heart. She had done what she considered the right thing, so now she must let it go, and trust Him. Why did the loss of Nell make her doubt herself so much? Nell’s spirit was still there, just out of sight, but very close, as was the Lord. She had nothing to fear….

She glanced down at her watch. Time! Calmly, she rose to her feet and went through to Rosalie’s room, where she pressed the bell for a few seconds. She was at peace now with what she had unleashed on the school. She had offered the sinner her chance. Matey was right. Doing nothing would have sent completely the wrong message to all. The search would now begin.

Seating herself back at her desk, she heard the school return to life, the strange silence broken by the clatter of desk lids and cupboard doors. Her eyes fell on the phone. Her fingers itched to pick it up, pour it all out to a loving ear, a living ear.

Little inconsequential things, Mother? Not this time. This time there are weighty matters that concern the happiness and well-being of young minds; matters that leave a nasty, bitter taste in one’s mouth and scars in one’s soul. I need your prayers, my friend, for they are even more of a lifeline to me than your voice would be right now. I hope you hold us all in your heart, especially Ellie and whoever is doing this to her.

She shook her head. Now was not the time to be dependent on another. She must not only make her own decisions; she must live with them. And think, instead, of others who were also suffering. There was someone not far away who might like to rely on her a little for some comfort and a chance to open up. So Hilda did pick up the phone, but it was to get through to Freudesheim, not Norfolk.

“Jack? Hilda here. I was wondering how Jo was, and perhaps have a chat with her.”

Jack sighed. “You can’t, I’m afraid, Hilda. She’s in bed again. It’s not looking good and I intend to keep her there as long as I can this time.”

“Oh, Jack, I’m so sorry. Give her my love and tell her I’ll be over to see her the instant the snow stops and the path is clear.” She paused, hesitated. “How about you, Jack? Joey seemed to think your concern was more for her than for any new baby.”

“She’s right,” murmured Jack. “I’m so concerned about her that I’m not quite sure what to think about another child. I want Jo well again, but I suspect the only way to have that is for her to lose the baby. And that would cause her untold misery. But we have eleven already, Hilda, and umpteen wards. God’s been good to us and it seems greedy to want more, when there are women who can’t even have one.”

“Jack, you and Jo love children,” replied Hilda gently. “You’re good parents. You’re not being greedy, and it’s not your fault that others are unable to conceive. But maybe you need to leave it in the Lord’s hands, let Him decide what He wants to come out of this. Tell Jo I’m praying for her and the baby. Perhaps I should tell you the Abbess and her nuns are also praying for you all.”

“Hilda – thank you,” said Jack in tones of heartfelt gratitude. “You might not be a talkative person like Jo, but what you do say is always sound common sense, seasoned with love. Bless you, my dear – and bless your namesake over there in Norfolk. You’re two of a kind,” and he put the phone down quickly before she heard the wobble in his voice.

Sensing his embarrassment, she smiled sadly to herself, replaced the receiver and said a quiet prayer to the Mother of all mothers. With a sigh for all the problems and sorrows surrounding her, she picked up her pen, only for the phone to ring almost immediately. With one eye on the clock, she picked up the receiver, to hear John Lewis’s voice on the other end. It was not a happy voice and her eyes grew sadder still.

“John, I can tell the news isn’t good,” she said quietly.

“No, Hilda, it’s not. They appear to be even more worried today than they were yesterday,” he replied, his voice low and full of anguish. “Her temperature’s still climbing and she’s become so restless that they’ve had to sedate her, so she doesn’t do more damage to her back and hip. She looks so fragile lying there….” His voice broke and Hilda remained silent, aware that words were the last things he needed. She heard him blow his nose. “I apologise, Hilda. It’s just so awful to see her so ill again, just when we were beginning to hope.”

“How’s Barbara?” Hilda asked, remembering Barbara’s anguished loneliness the night before - loneliness due, in part, to her husband hiding both himself and his pain from her.

John Lewis blew out his breath. “Distraught,” he whispered. “She’s pacing the hospital corridors, white and silent. I’ve left her for a while to come home to see Katy.”

“Maybe Brbara needs to let it all out, John,” said Hilda, wondering how badly she was interfering. “Could you take her out of the hospital somewhere and just be with her? She sounded desperate when I spoke to her last night.”

Tessa’s father was silent, as though taken aback. Hilda crossed her fingers. “I guess I could,” he said slowly, as though it had never occurred to him. “To be brutally honest, Hilda, I’ve been hiding away in the office. I’m so afraid of falling apart that I don’t even want to talk about it. I’m supposed to be the strong one – and I’m not. She doesn’t need my pain as well as her own and Katy’s…”

“But she does, John,” said Hilda urgently, glad her chance had come. “She needs to know your anguish is as great as hers. She doesn’t want to be left alone to bury it all inside, thinking you don’t care. She wants someone to weep with her. You don’t need to be strong, you don’t need to hide your tears. You just need to be there, holding her and Katy, talking to them in the same way you’ve talked to me. Don’t let this tragedy come between you, John, I beg you. Tessa needs her family whole and united. How else can you help her? And poor Katy just wants to know her parents understand her guilt at being the cause of Tessa’s pain. Go be with them, John. Show them you’re hurting, too – just as you’ve shown me. Take comfort from each other. That’s what families are for.”

“Hilda, I….” His voice failed.

Tears stood in Hilda’s eyes. There was just too much pain in the world tonight. “Go, John,” she whispered. “Put the phone down now and go to her. Tell her you love her. Tell Katy the same. Love’s the only important thing in life, the best panacea for all the ills of the world.”

The phone was put down without another word, and she was left holding a buzzing receiver. She sat there for a while, just holding it against her cheek, her eyes closed, hearing the echo of the last few words she had said to John Lewis. Love - the only important thing in life….

Slowly, she replaced the receiver, feeling so alone that her body hurt all over. Love had left her own life so abruptly that she didn’t think she would ever recover, despite the advent of others into her heart. She moaned out loud in sudden agony and buried her face in her hands, her fingers writhing through her hair, her heart and soul aching for a sight of Nell, for the sound of her voice. Would this yearning never cease? Would there ever come a time when a whole day would pass without her neediness taking over and reducing her like this?

My hand is lonely for your clasping, dear;
My ear is tired waiting for your call.
I want your strength to help, your laugh to cheer;
Heart, soul and senses need you, one and all…
Companion, comforter and guide and friend…
(Henry Alford)
Author:  MHE [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Once again words fail me Mary.
Thank you.
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Hilda :cry: yet even in her anguish she has helped two families.


Thanks you Mary.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Hilda - she is hurting so much but even so can find the right words for other people's hurts.
Thank you Mary
Author:  Tara [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
:cry: :cry: So much sadness. But how very typical of Hilda to put aside her own need and anguish to comfort and counsel others - always with that 'sound common sense, seasoned with love.' Clever of Mary to update us so subtly, too :wink: . Now have to worry about Tessa and Jo as well as the Ellie situation!

I'd not heard that final poem, and it's so moving and expresses so well what Nell was to Hilda.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh goodness, is there any limit to the breadth of this woman's heart and her thoughtfulness for others? Despite all her anguish over Ellie, her worry over the bullying and her own grief for Nell which is never so very far away, she has still managed to offer comfort to two other families, who are each suffering so much. And as Tara noted, a subtle way of bringing us up to date on both those 'threads' of the story.

Now if only Matey could wave a magic wand and have Mother Abbess walk into the study! But even these few minutes of thinking about others have helped to strengthen Hilda's resolve for what must happen next in the school situation.

Thanks, Mary.
Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd forgotten that there was extra need to be worried about Tessa at the moment. But how right what Hilda says. Thanks, Mary.
Author:  Luisa [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
An inspired post - to set Ellie's troubles against the background of the more obvious pain of the Maynards and Lewises. And to see that the only response to all of them is

Quote:
Love’s the only important thing in life, the best panacea for all the ills of the world.”


Thank you Mary.
Author:  Anjali [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 5:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank you, Mary. I really don't have anything else to say - you've done it again with another episode proving Hilda's generosity.
Author:  dackel [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Poor Hilda - she has so many people to worry about. Thanks goodness she has some people to worry about her, too.

Thanks Mary.

I will feel positively deprived of ND in the time when I haven't got access to the Internet!
Author:  clair [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary, that was such a lovely way of tying it all together. Maybe Hilda will find it easier to cope by remembering what others are going through as well
Author:  linda [ Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda is such an amazingly strong woman. Even whilst trying to deal with the present crisis, she still has the strength and compassion to offer love and support to others in great need.

Quote:
“But she does, John,” said Hilda urgently, glad her chance had come. “She needs to know your anguish is as great as hers. She doesn’t want to be left alone to bury it all inside, thinking you don’t care. She wants someone to weep with her. You don’t need to be strong, you don’t need to hide your tears. You just need to be there, holding her and Katy, talking to them in the same way you’ve talked to me. Don’t let this tragedy come between you, John, I beg you. Tessa needs her family whole and united. How else can you help her? And poor Katy just wants to know her parents understand her guilt at being the cause of Tessa’s pain. Go be with them, John. Show them you’re hurting, too – just as you’ve shown me. Take comfort from each other. That’s what families are for.”


This is the best advice that Hilda (or anyone) could give to a man who feels that he needs to be strong, not break down and not show that he is hurting.

Thank you, Mary, for reminding us that whilst the school is in turmoil, other strands of the story are not standing still.
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 8:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Even if I (like the school, according to Linda!) am in turmoil, there's no reason you shouldn't have some more, as there is plenty already written.

Her little clock chiming nineteen hundred hours brought her back to herself and her surroundings. She looked around the room in fear, almost expecting to see Nell’s broken body lying there, so sudden and annihilating had the pain been. But she must put it all to one side for the moment – time enough to fall apart when the evening was through. Too much was still waiting to be done. Too many people still needed her strong.

Feeling like an old woman, her bones stiff and aching, she picked up the internal phone and dialled.

“Matron Lloyd speaking.”

“How’s Ellie, Gwynneth?”

“She’s still upset, obviously, but Vivien is teaching her magic tricks right now – and confusing me something rotten! No matter how much I watch and listen, I don’t understand how she does it, but Ellie seems to. Bright child you’ve got there, love, as well as an imaginative one, much like yourself.” She paused as she heard a muffled snort from Hilda. “I’m wittering, aren’t I? Not like me at all. But you know, love, judging by that inelegant sound I just heard, it worked. Now, what can I do for you?”

“Thank goodness for Vivien,” murmured Hilda, her ward’s distraught face before her. She took herself in hand, tucked both her own and Ellie’s pain away for the present. “Gwynneth, I want you to find out if Meg Lyall has had her desk and cubicle checked yet. If she has, I would like you to bring her to the study.”

Matey heard the echoes of pain in the gentle tones and frowned. Something had upset Hilda mightily. “I’ll do it straightaway, love.”

It was another fifteen minutes, however, before there came a knock at the door, fifteen minutes which had seemed liked fifteen hours to Hilda as she determinedly marked her essays. Now she placed down her pen and sat up straight.

“Enter,” she called, and Matey and Meg walked in, the former looking fierce and the latter somewhat bemused.

“Stand here before my desk, please, Meg,” Hilda said quietly. “Matron Lloyd, could you remain, please? I will have another task for you shortly.”

Matey stepped back and studied Hilda’s face in some anxiety, while Hilda studied Meg with keen eyes. The girl tried to hide her nervousness, but she was shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other under that silent scrutiny and Matey noticed her fingers were twisted tightly together behind her back. Hilda laced her own fingers loosely together before her on the desk, totally at ease, but, when she finally spoke, the temperature in the room plummeted.

“I gave you fair warning yesterday, Meg – was it really only yesterday? – when I discussed the bullying of my ward with you, that if it turned out you were the cause of Ellie’s unhappiness and accident, I would have to apply the strictest measures.”

She paused, frowned. Her voice became soft, a cat playing with a mouse. “You seemed surprised just then when I mentioned bullying, Meg. Did you think I had sent for you concerning another matter altogether?”

Meg straightened up, shook her head. “N… no, Miss Annersley.”

Hilda’s eyes narrowed. “Very well, let us return to the bullying. You denied it vehemently yesterday, Meg. But today I have been reliably informed by a sub-prefect that she caught you at it last week. After some detective work, I now know all of it, Meg – every last vicious, spiteful word.”

Meg’s face drained of colour. The last few words had been rapped out coldly and with emphasis. There was nowhere to hide, no comfort to be taken anywhere.

Hilda saw she had made her point and leaned back in her chair, eyes grey and distant. “Be that as it may, I find I’m not ready to deal with you tonight, Meg. I’m too disgusted with you. You will go with Matron to the San and stay there in isolation, well away from the other girls, until tomorrow morning. I won’t have any more people contaminated by your presence.”

Meg’s lips trembled at the emotive words Hilda had deliberately employed. Meg’s eyes dropped before the probing look she was receiving, and a shudder seemed to run through her.

Hilda’s grey eyes grew sombre. “Yes, Meg, I now know just how much unhappiness you’ve caused Ellie. She’s told me everything. How I wish she had told me sooner, instead of protecting you. But you had her terrified.” Just for a moment, antipathy invaded her voice, and then it resumed its flat, even quietness. “That I’ve been harbouring such a girl as you in my school fills me with revulsion. No human being, nor even any animal, deserves the punishment you meted out to my ward. Your face tells me that you’re frightened – perhaps that will give you some small taste of what Ellie has been undergoing these last two weeks.”

Meg shivered again as Hilda paused, then continued remorselessly, “I can see you understand me, even if you haven’t the courage to look at me. If I decide not to expel you…” Meg’s eyes shot up in alarm, her jaw fell open in shock. Hilda nodded. “I did warn you I would apply the strictest measures, Meg. What else did you think I could have meant? If I decide not to expel you – and it’s a big if – you will go nowhere near my ward, nor the girl who caught you. One wrong word from you to anyone after today will mean instant expulsion. Think on that tonight, and I will see you tomorrow, as I stated. Go with Matron now.”

She saw the girl was scarcely able to move, was indeed almost paralysed with shock. Hilda looked at Matey who came forward and took Meg’s arm. “Come along, Meg. You will go to bed in the San and I will bring your meal to you there.”

Her voice was not unkind, just crisp and matter-of-fact, and Meg, perforce, had to go with her. At the door, however, a soft voice stopped them.

“Before you go, Meg, is there anything else you wish to tell me?”

Silence - then Meg turned round, her face paper white, her eyes flickering as they tried to meet Hilda’s. “No, Miss Annersley,” she murmured, her voice shaking.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Hilda, before picking up her pen and looking down at the book in front of her on the desk, as though dismissing the girl from her mind completely.
Author:  MHE [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary.

Meg had not thought through what Hilda would do had she??
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
MHE wrote:
Meg had not thought through what Hilda would do had she??


I don't think Meg had thought anything through - I think what we are seeing may be the consequences of her total lack of foresight :(

Thank you Mary
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary. I think you Ellie and Hilda need your angels tonight.
:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very clever, Hilda, completely wrong-footed Meg there and proved, I think, that she does know something of the disappearance of the photographs. As it it, perhaps a night alone and in disgrace might bring home to her just how wrong her conduct has been.


Thanks Mary - sublime.
Author:  Luisa [ Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
If only a night in isolation could bring her to confess.
Thank you Mary, yet another post where I can hear the ice all too clearly. How can you do it in the midst of turmoil?
Author:  Tara [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:47 am ]
Post subject: 
At least Hilda is on firm ground here and Meg is beginning to realise the possible full consequences of her actions. She certainly deserves to be thoroughly frightened (Hilda was seriously scary there), and I hope a night in isolation will focus her mind even more. It also means she can't get at the photos, of course. I wonder if she'll try ...

Hilda is going to collapse if she has to cope with much more strain :( .

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Anjali [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 
I think Hilda speaking to Meg only about the bullying and not mentioning the photos just then was a masterstroke - Meg's surprise was a dead giveaway, and dispels doubt about her guilt, if there was any.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Masterly - absolutely masterly! Not a word wasted, but oh boy - has Hilda put the fear of God into Meg! I can't see the girl getting much sleep tonight, unless Matey administers one of her patent doses, either.

Must say, I agree with Tara that Hilda is going to collapse unless she gets some rest - wonder whether Matey will do something about that both for her and for Ellie? Sorry, my grammar will make Hilda cringe, but it's late and my brain is rapidly turning to mush!!

Thank you Mary, for allowing me to unwind for the night with your story. I will be looking forward to the next bit.
Author:  Catherine [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, Meg's certainly had a shock! If she does know anything about the photos, I hope she has the sense to own up.

Thank you, Mary.
Author:  Celia [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:20 am ]
Post subject: 
I've just managed to get on here for the first time this week, my
computer playing up again!

Have caught up with the last two posts. Such moving writing Mary.
I'm sure there are hours to go before Hilda can rest, but even her great inner strength must give out soon one feels.

Meg really didn't comprehend that what Hilda had said could mean expulsion for the perpetrator ... she needs to think long and hard
before morning.

Thank you Mary
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
My goodness, I don't know what to write. That's quite astonishing stuff, Mary. I don;t think that EBD could ever have written anything that powerful (so we're very lucky!).

Thank-you.
Author:  leahbelle [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, Mary. I hope Hilda has made Meg think about the consequences of her actions.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary,
I have just caught up with these and am also lost for words.

No matter how bad her own situation and grief may be, Hilda always gives so freely of her time, love and wise counsel to any who need it.

Meg may yet prove to need it more than most in due course :roll: I do hope a night in Isolation and the realisation that she may still be expelled will be salutary for her........

Thank you for finding the time and energy to post these when you have lots on your own plate at the moment - you are very much like Hilda, you know !
Author:  shazwales [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary

One simple word Wow!

Thank you
Author:  jacey [ Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh my, I wouldn't want to be Meg for all the tea in China.
But I wonder will a night in isolation make any difference? Before this I felt she was 'hardened' and didn't care, but her reaction to Hilda's cutting words makes it seem that perhaps she is not. Awaiting developments.
Am I allowed a little wibble over Joey? Don't forget to go back to that part of the story Mary. So many strands to keep track of. :)

Thank you Mary for posting this just now. I hope Hilda's company has been a balm to you.
Author:  linda [ Sat Aug 02, 2008 12:28 am ]
Post subject: 
As Eldersaid, masterly., Mary, definitely masterly.


Quote:
“I did warn you I would apply the strictest measures, Meg. What else did you think I could have meant? If I decide not to expel you – and it’s a big if – you will go nowhere near my ward, nor the girl who caught you. One wrong word from you to anyone after today will mean instant expulsion


That's telling her!! If Meg was labouring under any illusions that she had got away with the bullying, she has been totally disabused of this idea. But Hilda has been very clever not to mention the photos. That is what Meg expected her to address when she was sent for. And, of course, Hilda has no proof as to Meg's involvement in the disappearance of the photos, but, she has been told of the bullying and therefore can deal with that. Meg never expected that expulsion might be an option That will give her something to think about tonight. Whilst she is incarcerated in in the San, then she can't do anything more to the photos, or can she?!?!?

Thank you so much for remembering us this given your current turmoil and giving us this post. I hope Hilda has been able to give you some comfort and trust that she will encourage you to give us the next instalment before too long. :wink:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for all the updates. Unless Meg shows true repentence I can't see her not being expelled and I can only hope that a night alone will at least see her return the photos. Poor Hilda, with events like these she would be missing Nell pretty badly and I'm more than thankful Matey has been a tower of strength for her.

Thanks Mary for all the updates
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
My, you are a vengeful lot! :lol: But thank you so much for all the posts - goodness! You are kind. :heart:

As you will now see, Hilda is not behind the door when it comes to sussing out secrets. (But you already knew that from Revenge!! :twisted: )

Please don't worry about my inner turmoil, as all these posts are already written, which is a good job as I am writing this with one hand only, having spent several hours in A&E tonight with a suspected broken ring finger. Fortunately, I've only sprained it. :oops:

....“Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Hilda, before picking up her pen and looking down at the book in front of her on the desk, as though dismissing the girl from her mind completely.

However, once the door had closed behind them, she put down her pen and leaned her head back against her chair. The girl’s debilitating fear had stunned Hilda’s compassionate heart, even while the Headmistress in her had been quietly satisfied. Meg would do no more bullying. Hilda’s threat had been too potent. And tonight’s isolation would compound that.

Even as these thoughts ran through her mind, Hilda’s keen perception kicked in. She sat bolt upright, senses on high alert. Meg did have the photos! It had been there, fluttering in the frightened eyes. Hilda just hadn’t recognised it until now. She had seen the surprise when the bullying was the only thing mentioned, and she had made a guess - but now she knew!

But where had Meg hidden them? Not anywhere that would be likely to be searched, that was definite, and Meg knew it or she would have come clean!

Hilda stared at the door, as though trying to see through the wooden panels and into Meg’s mind. She frowned, her mind’s eye ranging though the school, delving into hidden nooks and crannies. Suddenly, she gasped. She remembered where it was she had confronted Meg the day before.

Leaving the essays to their own devices, she quickly rose and made her way through the many corridors of the school, glancing in splasheries and common rooms as she searched for Kathie Ferrars. She finally ran her to earth in the library, where she and two prefects were painstakingly checking through all the shelves. When she saw Hilda the younger woman couldn’t help but notice the blanched cheeks, the weary expression.

“Hilda, you okay?” she asked, softly. This nastiness had given her pause, and she had considered how she would have coped if it had happened once she was Headmistress. The answer had come to her, loud and clear - not very well.

“Don’t worry, my dear, I’ll survive,” replied Hilda, equally softly. “And in answer to your unspoken question, no, no one’s been to confess. Something has just struck me, though - hence my appearance here. Has anyone checked the practice rooms? I know I didn’t mention them earlier. An oversight on my part, I’m afraid.”

“And on mine, for I never gave them a thought,” frowned Kathie. “Shall I….?”

“No, leave it to me. If you let me have Carmela, she and I could divide the rooms up between us.” Hilda turned away, and then looked back to add, “Oh, and Kathie, if nothing’s been discovered by half past nineteen, stop searching and take the girls into Abendessen. Enough’s enough. I’ll get someone to sound the gong to alert you all.”

Directing Carmela to accompany her, she explained what she wanted and they then split up, for the small practice rooms were fitted in wherever there was space, and were dotted here and there throughout the school. Hilda made immediately for the one in which she had spoken to Meg the day before, and stopped in the doorway, looking round carefully and trying to explore the girl’s mind. She sighed, her shoulders drooping. Maybe she was completely wrong! There were so few hiding places in this small space.

No, she wouldn’t give up so easily! Setting her jaw stubbornly, a sight that Nell Wilson would have recognised on the spot, Hilda buckled down to it, searching through the music in the piano stool, opening the one small cupboard and exploring its contents, even reaching between cupboard and wall, her fingers groping along the gap but meeting nothing. She lifted the edge of the carpet all the way round the room – nothing! She opened the top of the piano and peered into its inner workings, felt into the gap between piano and wall, lifted the cushion off the one chair, looked behind the flimsy curtains – nothing! So why this strong conviction that the photos were within her reach?

She stood by the window and let her eyes travel round the small room once more. Her eyes fell on the tiny gap between the bottom of the piano and the floor. But, when she bent to feel underneath, her fingers would scarcely fit, so tight was the space. No photo frames could possibly have been pushed under there. She shook her head. So much for the keen perception that everyone claimed she possessed! Mad as a hatter, more like! Seeing things that weren’t there! Clutching at the proverbial straws!

Yet, even as she left the little room, the strange feeling persisted that she had missed something vital. She searched the other small rooms in the same methodical way but nothing turned up. Exiting the last one, she met Carmela coming to report the same result. Nothing! Hilda glanced down at her watch.

“I think we’ll call a halt to this. Could you go and sound the gong, Carmela? Then you and the other prefects accompany the girls to the Speisesaal. They must be straving, poor things. I’ll meet you there.”

Carmela had blossomed that term as her self-confidence grew, and now, like Kathie Ferrars, she saw how strained the Abbess seemed. “Is there anything I can do for you first, Miss Annersley?” she asked, her eyes steadfast. “Only, you don’t look very well.”

Hilda was astonished, and realised what the loss of Tessa had done, not just for Mireille, but for many of the prefects. They were maturing, and maturing fast. They were relying on themselves now, and not on Tessa’s reputation.

Her voice was warm as she responded to the polite request. “No, thank you, Carmela, I’m fine, apart from a little tiredness. But may I say how very well you are doing this term, my dear? I’m so proud of you, and indeed of all the prefects, for your behaviour and the way you’ve led the school since we returned. I know it hasn’t been easy for any of you, but I think you’ll find life much easier after last night’s concert.”

Carmela blushed deeply, mumbled her thanks in an incoherent fashion and turned away, leaving her Headmistress smiling after her. There were still rays of sunshine, even on the darkest days.....
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
She will find them - she just needs a little time for her sub-conscious mind to work - it's already seen where they are it's just got to work out how to alert the conscious mind - maybe a short nap, Hilda? :help:

Fascinating to see how both Kathie Ferrars and Carmela are visibly growing in maturity infront of her.

Thanks Mary.
Author:  MHE [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Agrees wholeheartedly with Lesley - Hilda will realise where Meg has hidden them, and it looks like Kathie is back on track.

Thanks Mary, I hope your finger isn't too painfull.
Author:  Tara [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, wherever are they? It's like Hunt the Thimble, with Hilda's subconscious shrieking 'warmer' at her. Did Meg take them out of the frames and put them under the piano, I wonder??? Oh well, Mary knows!

Lovely support and concern fron Kathie and Carmela there.

I'll be really interested to find out the reason behind Meg's behaviour. Will she prove to be as needy as Ellie in her way?

Thanks, Mary, lots of food for thought here.
Author:  Luisa [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:35 am ]
Post subject: 
If its an upright, the front will come off - i had to get a cat out of there once.
Dare I hope for more soon........?
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Hilda's sixth sense doesn't usually deceive her, and I'm sure it won't in this case - I do wonder if Luisa has hit on the right spot! I rather hope that Hilda *will* find the photos before she has to interview Meg again, too. And it is indeed good to see how both Kathy and Carmela noticed Hilda's strained appearance and asked if there was anything they could do to help.

Thanks, Mary - I will of course be waiting impatiently for the next instalment!!
Author:  clair [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 7:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Certain that Hilda will find them, she has to for her own peace of mind as well as for what they mean to Ellie.

Really hoping this will make Kathie grow up and see just how badly she's been behaving. She can help Hilda and be there for her, just in a different way to Nancy.

Thank you Mary, hope the finger's better soon
Author:  Anjali [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 7:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Mary, you're the queen of suspense....I was so sure Hilda would find the photos there that I scrolled down to see the end of the post first:)! More please? If you've already written it? :P
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 7:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Anjali wrote:
Mary, you're the queen of suspense....I was so sure Hilda would find the photos there that I scrolled down to see the end of the post first:)! More please? If you've already written it? :P


I was expecting the same too :lol:

Like the other am glad the prefects and Kathie were concerned enough to offer to help and glad they could pick up that Hilda wasn't doing well
Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm sure Hilda will find them. How kind of Hilda to find words of praise for Carmela despite everything she has going on.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Mary - please don't keep us in suspense too much longer as to where they are :D
Author:  linda [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Even as these thoughts ran through her mind, Hilda’s keen perception kicked in. She sat bolt upright, senses on high alert. Meg did have the photos! It had been there, fluttering in the frightened eyes. Hilda just hadn’t recognised it until now. She had seen the surprise when the bullying was the only thing mentioned, and she had made a guess - but now she knew!


Yes, of course Hilda's years of experience couldn't help but see through Meg's attempts hide her guilt over the photos. But where are the photos? I'm beginning to think that they have not been destroyed. Perhaps Meg was subconsciously frightened by what she had done that she couldn't bring herself to do that. I'm sure Hilda will work out where they are hidden.

I, too, could see Carmela maturing before my eyes during this post, and it was good to see a softer side to Kathie. Perhaps this episode will have helped Kathie to realise how destructive jealousy can be and make her see how her behaviour was threatening her relationship with Nancy.

Thank you so much, Mary. Please don't keep us hanging on too long to find out what has happened to the photos!
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Pleased Hilda has realised Meg is hidding something. I hope she can find the photos soon. The photos and frames could be hidden separately.
Author:  MaryR [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Anjali wrote:
Mary, you're the queen of suspense....I was so sure Hilda would find the photos there that I scrolled down to see the end of the post first:)! More please? If you've already written it? :P

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Naughty Anjali! :lol: I'm so sorry for keeping you all in suspense! Not!! :P


Hilda returned to her study, tidied her desk and then made her entrance in the Speisesaal, and stood waiting quietly in her place until all was still. Bowing her head, she said the Latin grace with more than usual fervour, then remained standing while everyone else seated themselves.

“I apologise to you all unreservedly for the unpleasant end to your peaceful Sunday. You’ve all been very patient and I’m proud to be your Headmistress. I had arranged this festive meal with Karen to cheer you all up for being snowed in the whole weekend, so I do hope you will still be able to do justice to it, despite the late hour and the upset.”

She smiled round and sat down, hoping the tangible tension in the room would soon dissipate. Matey watched her pushing the food round her plate a little later and sighed. Hot milk for you later, my dear! And I’ll have you back in the Annexe as soon as prayers are over or my name’s not Gwynneth Lloyd!

By the end of the meal, the noise of the girls had reached its normal levels and the atmosphere had eased considerably. Hilda rang her bell and rose to her feet.

“You all look a lot happier, I’m pleased to see. I think we ought to show our appreciation for Karen in the usual way, don't you?” Loud applause and cheers were given willingly. “Thank you, girls, and now, as we’re all tired after our late night and the unexpected stresses of today, I think we’ll have prayers immediately and then the Juniors and Middles will go straight to bed, as it will be half past twenty by then. There will be no assembly. The Seniors may have until twenty-one o’clock. Rise, please.”

After Prayers, which she and Jeanne de Lachennais had kept short, she was standing at the bottom of the stairs saying good night to each of the Middles when she became aware of Mireille hovering nearby, obviously waiting to speak to her. But Hilda wanted the Middles to go to bed in a calm frame of mind, so she carried on with her good night wishes until they had all disappeared from view.

“Mireille, child, what can I do for you?” she asked, now she was free to move over to where Mireille was standing. “You look rather anxious. Is there a problem?”

Mireille scratched her forehead nervously, looked down at her feet, cleared her throat, opened her lips, but then failed to make a sound. Puzzled, Hilda reached out and grasped a shoulder.

“Mireille, are you still worried and upset over my words earlier?” she murmured. Mireille looked up at that and shook her head vigorously.

“Oh, no, Miss Annersley. At least, I am still feeling guilty and annoyed with myself – but you’ve assured me I can come and talk to you if I’m still uncertain about things, and I feel more at ease now about doing so. No, it’s not that.” She took a deep breath. “I know I made a terrible mess of things by going to speak to Meg, and we haven’t seen her since then, so I’m assuming you’ve removed her to the San because of what Erica and I told you….. or is that very rude of me, to make such an assumption?” she asked, her face creased in worry.

“Mireille, relax,” replied Hilda gently. “You’re the Head Girl, remember. You can ask me all sorts of things about school matters, since we have to work so closely together. Be sure I will tell you if something is not your concern, just as I will often tell you things I won’t tell anyone else. Alright?” Mireille nodded, and Hilda asked with an amused smile, “Now, why do you want to go and see Meg?”

Mireille gaped. “How did you know?”

“It’s written all over you, child, and you did ask about her.” Hilda sobered. “Is it a good idea, though, Mireille, after the harsh words between you?”

Mireille pursed her lips. “I think so,” she said slowly. “First of all, I want to go and apologise for assuming she was the guilty one. Though no one else has come forward, have they?” she asked timidly. Hilda shook her head, and watched Mireille with real interest as the girl continued, “Putting that to one side until we know for certain, what I’d really like to do is tell her that we will help her when…. if… she is allowed to return to school. Yes, she’s been horrid to Ellie, but there must have been a reason, non?”

Hilda looked away and thought hard. “Not always, Mireille. Bullies sometimes just enjoy the sense of power it gives them when they hurt someone. But I do see what you’re trying to say – and I’m astonished at your compassion, ma fille. Everyone needs friends who will help them when life is hard, even those who seem to push them away. I haven’t discussed any of it with Meg yet, though, so I have no idea what she was thinking.”

She searched Mireille’s face for the longest time. “Are you trying to make up for what you did earlier? I ask, because you’re right. Meg will need friends if I allow her to come back into school, especially if she is the one who took the photos, because people will know what she has done, at least the Sixth will, for she will have to be punished.”

Mireille waited patiently. She knew it would be a difficult decision, especially after her actions earlier. She was scared, but at the same time she felt she had to do this.

Hilda was undecided. Would it do even more harm? Then, like a flash of summer lightning, it came to her. This request was God’s answer to her prayers. She had to have enough faith to let go of this problem; had to allow God to perform His miracles in His own way, without any more interference from her. In St Matthew’s gospel, Jesus had blessed His Father 'for hiding these things from the learned and clever and revealing them to mere children'. In her unexpected and bitter anger, she had become one of those 'clever' ones who thought they knew what they were doing, and so had snatched the situation from God’s loving hands and tried to solve it herself. Now, however, was the time to hand it back and let Him work, instead, through this child; now was the time for a child-like stillness and unwavering trust from the Headmistress.

Thank you, Lord. I needed this lesson in humility tonight. I don’t always know best.

She smiled. “Very well, Mireille. I trust you, trust your kindness and your ability to understand others. I’ll take you to Matron now.” She saw the sudden fear Mireille was unable to hide completely, and whispered in surprise, “You’re scared, child – and yet you still want to do it? Such undaunted courage!” She put an arm round the girl’s shoulder, held her close. “I’ll say a prayer for you both, Mireille. Thank you for caring about her, my dear.”

Hilda took her up to the San without further ado. When Matey came to the door in answer to Hilda’s knock, her eyes opened wide at the sight of Mireille.

Hilda placed an arm round Mireille again. “Matron, I’ve given permission for Mireille to visit Meg for a short while, unless she’s asleep – or upset.”

Matey shook her head. “No, she’s just had a bath and gone to bed. I’ve left her reading. Come along, Mireille. This way,” and she led Mireille to the little isolation room at the end of the row of beds in the main San.

She opened the door, ushered the Head Girl in. Meg was indeed in bed, but wasn’t reading. Her book had fallen on the floor and she was sitting up, hunched over, her forehead on her knees. When she looked up there were tears on her cheeks, but she gasped when she saw Mireille. Matey tut-tutted and picked up the book before handing Meg a hankie.

“Here, child, wipe your tears. Mireille’s been allowed in to see you for a few minutes.”

She left them to it, closing the door behind her with a distinct snap!
Author:  clair [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:39 pm ]
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Mireille really has grown up over all this - let's hope she's able to get through to Meg so that Hilda can let go and get some rest

Thank you Mary
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:53 pm ]
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How much Mireille has matured in such a short time - and we have been able to watch the process, thanks to your words, Mary. Her compassion for Meg in these circumstances shows an understanding well beyond her years. I do hope that she will be able to make the breakthrough which is so desperately needed here.

If she can truly 'reach' Meg, and if, as is clear, she is truly willing to try to help the girl, then she will make Hilda's task on the morrow a lot less burdensome and may indeed, provide the catalyst which will, despite all, enable Hilda to be able to temper justice with mercy, and not feel forced to expel Meg for her bullying. (Sorry, that's a desperately run-on sentence, one of which Hilda would certainly not approve, but there just wasn't a good way to split it up!)

Hilda herself was very wise in postponing dealing with Meg until the morrow. Hopefully it won't be long before Mireille is able to report back to her, so that Hilda, in turn, will be able to get some much needed rest once she has reassured herself that Ellie is all right for the night as well.

Thanks, Mary - I know you've only just posted, but I will be looking forward to the next bit before too long - pretty please!
Author:  MHE [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:12 pm ]
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Mireille has certainly matured in the last few hours and although she is scared of going to see Meg she's ready and willing to do it. Hopefully she will be able to break through he wall that Meg has built around herself and that Meg will be able to tell Hilda what she needs to know to sort this mess out.

Thank you Mary, waiting patiently for the next scene.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:21 pm ]
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I'm sure Mireille is right that there is something behind Meg's behaviour towards Ellie - hope she can help

Thanks Mary
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:27 pm ]
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I think Mireille might need some angels to help her with Meg so here are some.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:

And I suspect Hilda and Matey might need some as well.

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:

And here are some for you Mary,

:halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo: :halo:
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:42 pm ]
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Very impressed with Mirelle - and were those tears from Meg an indicator of remorse, I wonder?


Hope Mirelle feels supported while speaking to Meg.

Thanks Mary
Author:  Celia [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:22 pm ]
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Maybe the fact that Meg is crying may give Mireille the opening she
needs to help the other girl . I do hope she is able to get some answers
so that Hilda can be merciful whilst still being just to Ellie.
Author:  JosieG [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 11:29 pm ]
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Mireille is really proving to be a thoughtful head girl here. It must take a lot of courage to go and face Meg.

Thanks for the update Mary. :)
Author:  Tara [ Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:08 am ]
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How very brave of Mireille, especially as she's feeling so apprehensive and is not at all sure that she knows what she's doing. It might well be easier for Meg to talk to her than to her Headmistress, despite their earlier contretemps, and those tears must, surely, be a good sign?

Hilda is, of course, the person who will ultimately have to sort Meg out, and her earlier anger doesn't disqualify her, but it would do Mireille so much good if she were the one to break through Meg's defences.

Thank you, Mary - waiting eagerly for the next bit :D .
Author:  Anjali [ Wed Aug 06, 2008 2:16 am ]
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Very impressed with Mireille!
Thanks Mary, as always, a very thoughtful post - you've shown us Hilda's humility as well as her compassion.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:57 am ]
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I really never expected Mireille to volunteer to do this :shock:
How compassionate and brave of her.................
Author:  Luisa [ Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:38 pm ]
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An unexpected but totally appropriate twist - thank you Mary.
Looking forward to the encounter.
Author:  linda [ Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:14 pm ]
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MaryR wrote:
In her unexpected and bitter anger, she had become one of those 'clever' ones who thought they knew what they were doing, and so had snatched the situation from God’s loving hands and tried to solve it herself. Now, however, was the time to hand it back and let Him work, instead, through this child; now was the time for a child-like stillness and unwavering trust from the Headmistress.


Trust Hilda to realise that there are times when she is not infallable and that perhaps Mireille may be able to get through to Meg and find out if she has taken the photographs.

How Mireille has grown and matured in the last few hours and days. She is looking at things from a totally different perspective now. She has realised that if Meg is allowed back into school, she is going to need some support, no matter how heinous her sins, once she has served her punishment, she will need some help to be reintegrated into the school community when her peers will naturally be horrified by what she has done (even if this does not include taking the photos).

But your last couple of paragraphs give me some hope. Meg is weeping. Has she realised how outrageous her behaviour has been?

Please, pretty please, don't keep us waiting too long for the next instalment, Mary.
Author:  Sugar [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:05 am ]
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I thought today was Tuesday and got all excited and its Wednesday! :roll: I am already up to date!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:47 pm ]
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Mary you can't leave it there!! :D Am glad Mirielle has the compassion to talk to Meg.

Thanks Mary
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:44 pm ]
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Fiona Mc wrote:
Mary you can't leave it there!! :D

I don't intend to, Fiona :lol: - but I will have to start a new part as I think I have reached the limit with this one.

Thank you all so much for the lovely responses to Part 15, and especially for the encouragement on this particular topic with Meg, as I have sometimes felt I got it wrong.

The next part is already up and running!
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:04 pm ]
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Am I the only one to think that Meg might not have taken the photos after all, but that she might know where they are?

Anyway, thanks so much for this, Mary - I'm looking forward to the next part.
Author:  leahbelle [ Fri Aug 08, 2008 4:17 pm ]
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Mireille has developed and matured so much. Thank you for this, Mary. I can't wait for the next part!
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