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In the presence of fate - updated 06/11/06, p25

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#401: In the presence of fate Author: Fiona Mc, Location: Bendigo, Australia

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 7:39 am
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I'm really enjoying this. I hope she does make more of herself than what she has done. There's nothing wrong with her having fun, but am glad she's finally reaching the point where she's saying I want something more and will go for it regardless of the odds

#402: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:26 am
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Thanks Alison, Gretchen is a very realistic character. Hope she can let go of the chip on her shoulder! Very Happy

Oh and also that she gets the chance to go to the Tiernsee.

#403: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 12:54 pm
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That chip is worrying me too. I hope she doesn't let it cloud the rest of her life. It is unfair that she didn't get to go to Briesau, though, when others who had nothing to do with the place got to visit.

#404: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:24 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I really hope that she will have a chance to go back one day.

#405: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:02 pm
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Yes, she needs to shed that chip, but I do see her making something of her life, she's definitely got what it takes! Thank you, Alison.

#406: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:12 pm
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I think she's finally starting to see that she could do something, rather than just moan that her life is so disappointing.

Thanks Alison - loved Sybil's view of going to the Tyrol with her Aunt Joey! Laughing

#407: Author: Alex, Location: Cambs, UK

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:39 pm
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Just caught up on a few months Mia. Glad that John and Daniel are getting on so well but no doubt they'll need their heads banging together a few times more before you're through.

#408: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:27 pm
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Gretchen's starting to grow up a little now - and hopefully she'll be able to seek out some new direction for herself.

#409: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:48 am
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Hope this post isn't too long! A lot of it's "overlap" with earlier drabbles - hope that's OK Very Happy

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I was waited eagerly, and perhaps also a little anxiously, to hear what Auntie Karen had to say about her visit to Briesau. We heard regularly from our family there, and Cousin Anna always told us any news from her visits, but hearing how everything seemed from the point of view of someone who hadn’t been there for several years was different. When you see people and places all the time, or even once every few months or so, you don’t notice when they change; not the way that you do when you go back after a long time away.

We received a letter from her the week after Easter, written whilst she was actually staying at Wald Villa. All our family were well, she wrote. Grandma and Grandpa looked older, inevitably, and they’d slowed down a bit since she’d last seen them, but they were both in good health and they’d made her very welcome. The inside of the guest house was virtually unrecognisable from the last time she’d seen it, Grandma and Grandpa having recently redecorated in what my cousin Sabine had told them was the latest fashion; but the warm, friendly atmosphere, she said, hadn’t changed a bit since she and Mum had been girls.

She wasn’t staying there for the second week of her holiday: she’d bumped into the Countess von und zu Wertheim and had agreed to go and cook for a big house party that the Countess was holding at the Schloss Wertheim. She wasn’t looking on it as work, she added: she’d always wanted to see inside the castle and to cook for a grand banquet, and was thoroughly looking forward to it! After that, she was going to stay with her aunt and uncle for a few days, before going back to the Chalet School for the start of the summer term.

As for the Tiernsee itself, she wrote that it was still the same glorious blue colour that was fixed in her memory, although she could never get used to seeing it dammed at the St Scholastika end. I knew about the dam and I always found the thought of the lake not being the way I remembered it upsetting; but I was glad that, as she went on to say, the hydro-electric company responsible for the dam were providing the sort of regular employment for at least some of the people of Briesau that had been so hard to find when I’d been little. Most of the time, when I thought of pre-war Briesau, I pictured it as some sort of idyll; but the sensible part of me knew that poverty and unemployment had been rife there, and I was glad that that seemed to be changing at last.

As for the San, it was continuing to do the wonderful work that Sir James had started there all those years ago. I tended to forget that the San at the Sonnalpe still existed, that it hadn’t closed down when Sir James and Herr Doktor Maynard and the others had left. The doctor who was its present head was even living in the Russells’ old home, Die Rosen - the house in which I’d been born. Auntie Karen had walked up there and had a look at the outside of the house. The garden was completely different now, she wrote: during the war, much of it had been turned over to the production of vegetables, and the flowers that I remembered weren’t there any more. But the house itself looked much the same, and she’d seen children playing outside it in the way that Jakob and I and the Russell, Bettany and Venables children used to do.

She also wrote all about how much she’d enjoyed spending Easter there in Briesau – participating in the Austrian Easter traditions that we’d long since abandoned, going to the little church that I remembered so well, and spending Easter Day with family and friends. She said that she hadn’t experienced any of the animosity that she’d encountered when she’d gone there not long after the end of the war, and that she’d really felt that she’d come home. She’d said so often that she didn’t want to live there again, that you couldn’t go back; and I’d never agreed with her. Now, I got the feeling that she was changing her mind – but was I right?

Her next letter came a week later, and I nearly collapsed with shock when I read what this one had to say. The week before, she’d written that she was enjoying her fortnight’s holiday before going back to the job she’d been doing for over twenty years. This week, she wrote that she was getting married and leaving the Chalet School to open a hotel in Mayrhofen with her husband-to-be! I couldn’t take it all in. Although I’d often thought what a shame it was that she had no family of her own, she’d always spoken as if she’d never marry and so I’d just assumed that that was the way it would be. It was all pretty odd, really. People didn’t just leave their entire lives behind to start afresh in a new place with new people. Did they?

It made more sense when Mum explained to me that this man was someone whom Auntie Karen had known years before. She didn’t go into all the history of it all, but I got the idea; and I was happy for them, and I wrote to Auntie Karen tell her so. She sent me a photograph of herself and her fiancé standing beside the Tiernsee together, and they looked so happy and comfortable with each other that I didn’t doubt for a minute longer that she’d made the right decision.

“I thought that I’d be at the Chalet School for the rest of my life - and now look at everything that happened in just a few days,” she wrote. “Sometimes life changes round completely, Gretchen. I nearly missed out on all of this: I was nervous and I panicked, and I was going to go back to the Gornetz Platz; and it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Don’t ever be afraid of change, Gretchen; and don’t let what’s happened in the past have too much effect on what you decide to do about the future. You can never go back, but you can always go forward.”

#410: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:52 am
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Quote:

People didn’t just leave their entire lives behind to start afresh in a new place with new people. Did they?

I hope that's given her something to think about. Thanks Alison.

#411: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 8:01 am
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Quote:

Don’t ever be afraid of change, Gretchen; and don’t let what’s happened in the past have too much effect on what you decide to do about the future.

That says it all really.

Thank you Alison

#412: In the presence of fate Author: Fiona Mc, Location: Bendigo, Australia

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 10:51 am
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I'm so glad Karen is giving her a reason to hope

#413: Author: MaryR, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:55 am
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We all prefer the status quo, don't we? We get settled in our routine and refuse to change, even when we aren't happy. Now is the time to go forward, Gretchen.

Thanls, Alison.

#414: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 12:18 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I'm glad that Karen got a chance to go back to Die Rosen.

#415: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 12:50 pm
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Hopefully Karen's news and letter has given Gretchen cause to think.

#416: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:53 pm
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Well done Karen for writing that - think it will give Gretchen pause for thought.

Thanks Alison

#417: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:05 pm
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Wonderful letter! And with Karen on site, lots better chance for Gretchen to visit and absorb new ideas.

#418: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:44 am
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Thanks for the comments Very Happy

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Sybil was the next one to visit Briesau, and she also sent me a long description of her visit there; along with copies of some of the photographs she’d taken. Frau Doktor Maynard had completely embarrassed her by asking the hotel manager if he remembered her (Sybil) as a baby, boring everyone with tales of her own schooldays and going off on a late night boat-ride with Mary-Lou Trelawney – a right bossy madam who’d been a near neighbour of ours in Howells – and getting stranded; but other than that it had been wonderful, she wrote.

Her aunt had got them all invited to Mittagessen at Die Rosen, and so she’d even been able to see all over our old home. She’d written a long list of “Do you remembers?” and I smiled nostalgically as images of the place where I’d been born and spent my first four and a half years flashed through my mind, for once feeling joy at the memories rather than bitterness at the thought of everything I’d lost when we’d left.

They’d stayed at the hotel owned by Auntie Karen’s future in-laws, which also the place where my Uncle Eigen was now working. He was much thinner than she remembered, she said, but he was well and seemed happy in his job; which was much what Auntie Karen had said. She hadn’t actually met Auntie Karen’s fiancé, as he’d been in America sorting out some business affairs that week; but the Countess von und zu Wertheim, who had met him, had told her that he was a lovely man, even though he did have some unusual ideas about things, and that she thought that he and Auntie Karen seemed very well suited. I was pleased to hear that.

Finally, the letter went on to say, the Maynards were hoping to buy Die Blumen, the Russells’ old summer house at Buchau, as a holiday home. “If Auntie Joey and Uncle Jack do buy the place, then I expect that we’ll all be going out there at some time, and if you could arrange to take your two weeks’ holiday from the shop at a time when we were going then maybe you could come as well,” Sybil had put. “I hope so, anyway. Well, that’s all my news, and I can hardly believe that I’ve got a few more weeks left as a Chalet School girl! I know that I’ve got one more year to go, but I’ll be a “Millie” then!” Then she’d signed her name, and added a note at the bottom saying that she hoped I liked the photos.

I cried a little when I saw those photos, the images of all the old places that, even though I’d been so young when we’d left, I remembered so well; but I knew that spending my days lost in nostalgia for Briesau or lost in bitterness that I couldn’t be there wasn’t going to get me anywhere. And I knew that feeling resentful that the Maynards, despite having nine children to support and that great big house in Switzerland to run, could evidently afford to buy a holiday home at the Tiernsee when we couldn’t even afford to go there to visit our immediate relations wasn’t going to get me anywhere either. And I also knew that getting my hopes up about somehow getting to go out there with the Russells would quite possibly just end in disappointment, so I resolutely refused to let myself think about it at all.

From now on, I was going to take charge of my own life. I’d spent enough time being messed about both by fate and by other people, and I’d spent enough time feeling resentful about it. I was going to try to go forward, just as Auntie Karen had said. Starting with trying to make amends to my family for the way that I’d been behaving for the past year and a half. I was eighteen years old and I’d been acting like a stroppy kid. It was time that I started acting like an adult.

#419: In the presence of fate Author: Fiona Mc, Location: Bendigo, Australia

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:20 am
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Well done Gretchen. I'm proud of you, that takes a lot of courage Very Happy

#420: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:48 am
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It's lovely of Sybil to write to Grechen and send the photos to her. I hope Grechen does get her life together and that she can go back to the Tiernsee, even if she doesn't find that it's as she recalls it. Thanks Alison.

#421: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 8:55 am
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Thanks, Alison. It would be great if Gretchen could go with Sybil, but I don't know if it would be possible.

#422: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:40 am
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Oh good! What's she going to do?

Thanks Alison

#423: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:22 pm
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That was lovely of Sybil, and I'm glad Gretchen is going to try to take a hold of her life.

#424: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 4:42 pm
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Glad she's made some decisions - always the hardest part.

Couldn't she go and stay with Aunt Karen once the wedding etc have taken place?

Thanks Alison

#425: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:48 am
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I will get this finished eventually ... Laughing

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In late May, Auntie Karen wrote to say that her wedding was going to take place at the end of August. The civil ceremony that was now a legal requirement in Austria would be held at the registry office in Spartz, followed by the religious ceremony at the church at Briesau. She knew that it would be difficult for us to attend, she wrote, and she’d understand completely if we weren’t able to go; but she wouldn’t have dreamt of not inviting us and she wanted us to know that both she and her fiancé would be overjoyed if we were able to join them for their big day.

“I’d love to be able to say that we’ll write back and tell them that we’d all be delighted to accept, but we just wouldn’t be able to afford it,” Dad said when he, Mum, Auntie Rosa, Jakob and I sat down to discuss it. “Not for all of us, anyway. I’m sorry: I wish I could say something different, but I can’t.”

“It’s just the way it is,” Mum said briskly. “Can’t be helped.” She was obviously trying to sound matter-of-fact about it, but she didn’t fool me. I knew how long she and Auntie Karen had been friends, and I also knew how much it would mean to her to see her own parents again. And, apart from anything else, both she and Dad were in desperate need of a holiday. They’d both been looking exhausted for weeks.

“Well, Auntie Karen said she’d understand if we couldn’t go,” Jakob said quickly. “I’m sure she won’t be offended. Like Mum said, it can’t be helped.”

I glared at him. He’d already said that he didn’t want to use up any of what holiday time he got from his job at a garage on going to a soppy wedding and visiting relations, but it didn’t seem to have occurred to him just how important this was to other members of the family. “Shut up if you haven’t got anything helpful to say,” I muttered.

“I think it would mean a great deal to Karen if you were there on her wedding day, Marie,” Auntie Rosa said quietly. “You two have been friends all your lives, since before I was born. It’s more important for you to be there than me. If you and Andreas can manage to afford for the two of you to go, then go. I’m sure Lady Russell won’t mind: you’re only talking about going for a week, and surely with three months’ notice she’ll be able to get someone in to help whilst you’re away. And I’ll keep an eye on Josefa and Andy. You two go – and give everyone all my love and tell them that I’m thinking of them. And make sure that you enjoy yourselves!”

Mum shook her head. “It’s lovely of you to offer to help with Josefa and Andy, but you’ve got Kevin and Kester to look after. And all the rest of the Russell children’ll be home that week as well: it’s well before the schools and universities go back. It’s no good: I’m just going to have to tell Karen that we can’t go. I’m sure she’ll understand, and she’ll know that our not being there won’t mean that we don’t wish her every happiness. And … well, now that the Maynards are talking about buying a house at the Tiernsee maybe we’ll all get to go there next summer or the summer after instead.”

“Oh Marie!” Auntie Rosa exclaimed. “I’ve looked after enough children at once in my time: I can certainly cope with Josefa and Andy as well as the twins for a week! And as for the Russell children being home, there’s only Ailie who’s likely to need any looking after. David and Sybil and Josette hardly need supervising at their ages, do they? David’s twenty!”

She looked at Mum doubtfully. “Are you sure that you’re not making excuses not to go? Is it that you’re not sure that Karen’s doing the right thing? I know that it’s all been a bit quick, but it does sound to me as if she’s very happy; and I did think you were pleased about it. Or … well, would it be difficult to afford even for the two of you to go?”

“It’s not that,” Mum said awkwardly. “It’s not any of that. I’m delighted for Karen; I really am. And Andreas and I could probably afford to go if it were just the two of us. Couldn’t we?” She glanced over at Dad. He nodded, but I saw that he was looking worried, and I saw Mum mouth “I know” in his direction. Then she turned back to Auntie Rosa. “It’s … well, if we went on our own, without any of the children, it… well, it wouldn’t be fair.” She bit her lip and looked at the floor.

I bit my lip as well. I knew exactly what Mum meant when she said that it “wouldn’t be fair” if she and Dad went to the wedding on their own. They were worried about the reaction that they’d get from me. Jakob had said that he didn’t want to go, and neither Josefa nor Andy seemed all that interested either; but I, I wanted to go so much; and they both knew that. I’d spent fourteen years wanting to go back to Briesau, and Auntie Karen’s invitation had made the prospect of doing so seem so close, so tantalisingly close. And I wanted to see Auntie Karen married as well. She was my godmother and there'd always been a special relationship between us. I couldn’t imagine not being at her wedding.

But we couldn’t afford for all of us to go. And if I insisted that I wanted to go, then it would probably end up with none of us going. I’d been so awkward lately that Mum and Dad must sometimes have felt that they were walking on eggshells when I was around. I could see from their faces that they were dreading one of my outbursts.

I knew how tired Mum and Dad had been lately, and I also knew how much it would mean to both Mum and Auntie Karen for Mum to be present at the wedding.

I made a decision.

#426: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:19 am
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[quote="Alison H"]I will get this finished eventually ... Laughing

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There's no rush! I'm enjoying it all so much!

Poor Grechen, having to see her parents go and not to go with them. I hope they manage to find a way to let her go, too.

#427: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 9:11 am
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I think she may be able to do something that show her parents that she really does care, and that she is growing up.

#428: Author: MaryR, Location: Cheshire

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 11:39 am
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She's taking a big step forward in maturity suddenly - she can see another's point of view. Not only that, but is determined to help. One can make a pretty good guess at what she will say...

Thanks, Alison

#429: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:56 pm
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It's lovely to see how she's changing and maturing, even though she must be heartbroken at not being able to go to the wedding.

#430: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:05 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I hope they can find a way for Gretchen to go as well.

#431: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:04 pm
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Sad that it will happen - but I think it represents a big step for Gretchen.

Thanks Alison

#432: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 7:53 am
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“Auntie Rosa’s right,” I said. “You two go. Jakob and Josefa and Andy aren’t really bothered about going, and …well, I don’t think I’d be able to go anyway. The manager doesn’t like more than one person to be off at once, and people always put their names down for the summer months ages beforehand. It’s a shame, but it just can’t be helped.”

I hoped that I was sounding convincing. I had no idea if I’d be able to get time off in August or not, but I didn’t want Mum and Dad not to enjoy their holiday because they were feeling guilty about me and so I thought that I could be forgiven for telling a little white lie. “I definitely think that you should go, though,” I said firmly. “I know Auntie Karen said she’d understand if none of us could go, but she’d still be upset if you weren’t there. And I’ll come straight home from work all that week to help to look after Josefa and Andy, and I’ll help Auntie Rosa at the weekend as well. You go; and enjoy yourselves. We’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure about this?” Mum asked. She looked at me anxiously, but I could see the hope dawning in her eyes and I knew that I’d done the right thing. I was bitterly disappointed that I was going to have to wait even longer to return to Briesau and that I was going to miss seeing Auntie Karen married, but I’d just have to cope with that; and I wasn’t particularly looking forward to a week of spending my free time looking after Josefa and Andy but I knew that it was the least I could do after the way I’d been behaving lately.

“I wouldn’t be able to get the time off: I’ve just said that,” I said quickly. “You and Dad go - go to the wedding, see Grandma and Grandpa and everyone else, and have a bit of a rest for a change as well. Auntie Rosa and I’ll see to things here. Give everyone my best wishes, and tell Auntie Karen that I’ll be thinking of her on the day and that she’s to send me copies of some of the photos. And Tyrol isn’t going anywhere, is it? I’ll … well, I’ll get back there another time.”

It took a bit more persuasion, and Mum insisted on writing pages of instructions for us to follow whilst she was away; but eventually she and Dad agreed that Auntie Rosa and I were right, and in late August we all waved them off at Armiford station as they set off on their way to see Briesau for the first time in over fourteen years. I managed to keep a jolly smile on my face until we got home, and then I muttered something about feeling a bit sick and went and locked myself in the bathroom and cried; but I knew that I’d done what had to be done. And I stuck to my word and stayed in every evening that week. I even took Josefa and Andy into Armiford on the bus for afternoon tea on the Saturday.

I cried again when I saw the wedding photos. There in black and white were the faces of so many people who meant so much to me and whom I was so far away from and had no prospect of seeing again for who knew how many years to come. And everything looked so typically, heartbreakingly, Tyrolean that I was overwhelmed with homesickness. Fourteen years away and I still thought of the Tiernsee as home; and just at that moment I’d have given anything to be there, even just for a few hours. I’d never felt the sense of belonging that I’d known there anywhere else - not in Guernsey, not in Armishire, and not in the Welsh mountains – and I knew that I never would.

But I’d learned to concentrate quite so much on myself, and so I felt gladness too - gladness that Auntie Karen looked so happy with her new husband, and gladness that Mum and Dad looked so relaxed on the photos and had both come home with neither the weary looks on their faces nor the bags under their eyes that had been there previously.

And maybe it was because my attitude had changed, or maybe it was because, whilst we can’t really escape fate, fate rewards us if it sees that we’re trying to do what’s right, that soon afterwards things began to look up for me – and not even just in one way, but in three ways.

#433: In the presence of fate Author: Fiona Mc, Location: Bendigo, Australia

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:02 am
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Can't wait to see how her life changes. This is great

#434: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:21 am
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Well done Gretchen, that was such an adult way to behave. Not only to do what you have to, but to do it gracefully as well.

#435: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:34 am
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She's really growing up now, isn't she. I'm glad things will be looking up for her soon. Thanks Alison.

#436: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 10:01 am
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Thanks, Alison. Gretchen did well to cope and I'm glad that things are going to start looking up for her.

#437: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 1:44 pm
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Very well done there, Gretchen - that can't have been easy.

Thanks Alison.

#438: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 2:58 pm
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I hope Gretchen gets a real chance to learn and to do what she wants to do.

#439: Author: Tara, Location: Malvern, Worcestershire

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 5:33 pm
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Oh, well done, Gretchen, that was a brave and loving thing to do. You're a good lass, amd you deserve a bit of a reward from fate.

Am very moved by Gretchen's deep love for her home country.

#440: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:58 am
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Change seemed to be in the air just then. Although everyone had been saddened by the death of the King in February, the accession of the new young Queen had prompted a lot of people to say that we were entering a new era. I couldn’t see it myself – with Austria still occupied and partitioned it was difficult for me to feel that the world was moving on at all – but we certainly entered a new era at the shop where I worked when the elderly lady who owned it decided, just after Christmas, to sell up and move to Birmingham to live with her married daughter.

The new owners, Mr and Mrs Langley, were much younger; an energetic and ambitious couple brimming over with plans for the shop’s future. They took over the building next door and, now that we had double the amount of floorspace, expanded the range of clothes that we sold, bringing in more modern lines - some of them exclusive designer gowns, some of them aimed more at women from the average Armiford suburban home. They redecorated the place, changed its layout completely, and embarked on a number of special promotions to attract new customers. As a result, the shop became busier than it had ever been before in all the time I’d worked there.

The senior bookkeeper/administrator, who’d been there for years and was rather set in her ways, made it clear from the start that she didn’t like the changes and couldn’t cope with it all. So it was no great surprise when, in the spring, she announced that she’d found a job elsewhere and would be leaving as soon as she’d worked out her notice. I thought that they’d probably bring in someone new to replace her, but I’d really been making a big effort over the past year and I got my reward when the manager suggested that I should be promoted to fill the vacancy when she left. It meant more money, and the Langleys also agreed to pay for me to attend a secretarial and bookkeeping course at a local college three evenings a week, when the new college year began in September, so that I could learn more about the work and obtain some qualifications.

I was delighted. The only problem was the ongoing issue of the travelling. I’d taken to leaving the house earlier than I’d done previously so as to make sure that I always got to work on time; but it made the day very long; and the evening classes wouldn’t finish until late, well after dark in the winter months. Plus I’d have studying to do in my own time, and it wouldn’t be easy when I’d be getting in late three evenings a week as well as setting out so early every weekday.

Susan’s elder sister had recently got engaged and was planning to get married in November, and Susan had mentioned that her mother would be looking for a lodger then as they’d struggle to find the money for the bills without having her sister’s wages coming in. It would suit them as well as me if I moved in with them, rather than a stranger; and Mum and Dad knew and liked Susan’s mother and wouldn’t worry about me living with her the way that they’d worry if I were living on my own or with people whom they knew nothing about. But Mum, Dad and Auntie Rosa were all getting older and they all had a lot of work to do, and I felt that I was needed at the Russells’ to help keep an eye on Josefa and Andy and to lend a hand with the housework when it was needed.

It was quite a dilemma.

And how ironic it was that it ended up being the Russells, who’d so often been the (admittedly unwitting) cause of my problems, who, inadvertently, solved this particular problem for me.

Unfortunately, in solving my problem, they completely messed up Sybil’s life; and Josette’s as well.

#441: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:02 am
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At last, a chance for Gretchen, but oh yes, poor Sybil and Josette. I must admit, this was one of my most-disliked moments in the series.
Thanks Alison

#442: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:14 am
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Very pleased for Gretchen - but do feel sorry for Sybil and Josette - Sybil especially.

Thanks Alison.

#443: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 11:29 am
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Thanks Alison, just read this through from the start and really enjoying it. It's fascinating to see the events from Gretchen's point of view.

#444: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 1:03 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I always thought it was absolutely selfish of Madge and Jem to insist on taking the girls with them to Australia.

#445: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 2:13 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I'm glad that the problem will be solved for Gretchen but I'm feeling sorry for Sybil and Josette.

#446: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 2:41 pm
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Thanks, Alison.

#447: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 4:19 pm
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What a great chance for Grechen; getting qualifications at last and being promoted. I'm really pleased that things are finally looking up for her.

#448: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:47 am
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In “Ruey”, it sounds as if Sybil’s still at St Mildred’s, but I’m assuming that she’d actually started her needlework course in London that term. By the time she left school after “Coming of Age” she’d already stayed on a year longer than originally planned– in “Mary-Lou” it said that she’d be leaving at 17 at the end of that year, i.e. after “Problem” – and then she had a year at St Mildred’s during “Richenda”/”Trials”/”Theodora”; and I couldn’t see her staying on for an extra year there as well. I’ve also ignored the fact that Josette was 5 years younger than Sybil earlier on, because in the books the age gap had narrowed to about 3 years by this point! & this is 1953 whereas in my last drabble it was 1954, because people’s ages keep changing. Hope that that makes some sort of sense Confused

!!

Sybil left St Mildred’s, the Chalet School finishing branch, in July. That summer we were both full of plans and eagerly looking forward to the future: I was due to start my college course at the beginning of September, and she was due to move to London to start at the South Kensington School of Needlework a couple of weeks later. There was some talk about the Russells going to the Tiernsee before then, but the plan was scrapped so that Lady Russell could instead go on a “reducing course” – which gave rise to some rather unkind sniggering amongst the younger children - to lose weight before Peggy Bettany’s wedding. Peggy was getting married at the end of October, to Giles Winterton, a naval officer who was a neighbour of the Bettanys’ in Devon and the half-brother of Sybil’s friend Lala Winterton.

Sybil left for London in the autumn, and from her letters it sounded as if she was having a whale of a time. She was obviously thoroughly enjoying the course, and equally well enjoying the freedom to live her own life with neither her parents nor the Chalet School mistresses breathing down her neck. Meanwhile, although I was finding the long days tiring and wishing more and more that I felt able to leave home and move closer to Armiford, I was thoroughly enjoying my college course too. I’d forgotten how good it could feel when you got your teeth into a knotty problem and worked it out; and, more importantly, I felt that my life was back on track and that I really was starting to make something of myself. And, at the beginning of October, Auntie Karen had twin babies, Alexander and Anneliese. Life seemed to be going well for everyone.

Then, one Saturday afternoon, I’d just finished doing battle with a particularly complicated question on double entry bookkeeping when I heard the doorbell go. Sir James was at the San, Dad had driven Lady Russell into Armiford to do some shopping, Mum was busy in the kitchen and Auntie Rosa had taken Kevin and Kester out for a walk; and so, not altogether sorry to be interrupted, I called out that I’d answer it. I walked to the door, opened it, and there, standing on the step, was Sybil.

“Sorry,” she said miserably. “Can’t find my key. I must have left it in my other handbag.”

“What are you doing here?” I gasped. “Not that it’s not good to see you, but I thought you were staying in London until the weekend of Peggy’s wedding and then going straight to Devon with Rix and David. Is something the matter? You look awful!”

Then I watched in horror as her face crumpled and she burst in tears.

“Oh Gretchen,” she sobbed, as she followed me into the house. “I had a letter from Josette, and I thought she must have heard wrong, or misunderstood - put two and two together and made five, or something; but I rang home, and she hasn’t got it wrong it all; and now I just don’t know what to do. I can’t believe that they’re doing this to us.”

“Doing what?” It was obvious that something had upset her pretty badly, but I didn’t know how to try to comfort her because I hadn’t got the first idea what she was talking about. “Your parents are both out at the moment and the twins’ve gone for a walk with Auntie Rosa, so do you want to tell me what’s going on? I don’t know if I’ll be able to help, but I promise that I’ll try. What on earth has happened? Start from the beginning.”

#449: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:53 am
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Poor Sybil - espiecially as she had actually started her course and everything. Crying or Very sad

Good to see that Gretchen is enjoying life again.

Thanks Alison.

#450: Author: keren, Location: Israel

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:21 am
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Jennie wrote:

Thanks, Alison. I always thought it was absolutely selfish of Madge and Jem to insist on taking the girls with them to Australia.

It's really that since she is not with the children all the time she got stuck in the past,
what do i mean,
she probably had guilty feelings that sybil was left behind when they went to Canada, and that she was so far away in Switzerland, and probably thought the "poor girl" would like to be near her mother now.
Not realizing the issue of the Embroidery, as a result of being so far away and not talking to her.

#451: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:05 am
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I'm glad Gretchen seems happier, but am very sorry for Sybil.

#452: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:27 am
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Thanks, Alison. I am still feeling very sorry for Sybil.

#453: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:59 pm
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It's nice to see how these two girls from such different backgrounds are such good friends. Thanks Alison.

#454: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:47 am
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Sybil went into the drawing room: I walked in there with her and we both sat down. “Josette was talking to Mary-Lou Trelawney and Vi Lucy about going to St Mildred’s next year,” she said, her voice trembling. “And Auntie Hilda heard them, and she … she told Josette that she wouldn’t be going to St Mildred’s at all, because she’d be leaving for good at Easter.”

“What?” I exclaimed. I was even more confused now that I’d been to start with! Josette had this one more year to go at the Chalet School - as Head Girl, incidentally – and then she was going to have a year at St Mildred’s, then start a degree course at the London School of Economics the September after next. It was all sorted out: it had been sorted out for months. “This coming Easter? And missing her year at St Mildred’s: I don’t understand. She seemed so keen on the idea when she was talking about it over the summer. And” – I was wondering if I’d misunderstood this bit, because it really made no sense at all – “how on earth would Fraulein Annersley know about it if Josette didn’t know about it herself?”

“Because evidently Mum and Dad think that Auntie Hilda needs to know what they’ve got planned for their family, but they don’t think that we do,” she said bitterly. “If Auntie Hilda hadn’t said anything, and Josette hadn’t written to ask me to try to find out what was going on, then I don’t know when they’d have told us. And I mean told; because they obviously never had any intention of asking us or discussing it with us, even though I’m nineteen and Josette’s nearly seventeen and it’s our lives they’re messing up. They obviously just don’t see us as people: they just seem to think that we’re their possessions to do as they like with. It’s not even as if it’s something that they think’s in our best interests, or even something that can’t be helped: it’s just what suits them.”

She mopped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Dad’s been asked to go on some big conference in Australia. It’ll go on for quite a few months, and then after that he’ll be going to inspect a number of big sans all over Australia, and in New Zealand as well. Mum doesn’t want to travel around with him; so she’s going to stay in Sydney, and Kevin and Kester’ll stay there with her and go to school there whilst they’re there. And … and she says that Josette and I both have got to go as well. She’s decided that we’re going; and so we’re going, she says. And Dad’s just agreeing with her.

“Josette’ll miss her last term at school and her entire year at St Mildred’s. And I’ll have to drop out of my course after just two terms: oh Gretchen, I can’t bear it! You know how long I’ve been looking forward to doing this course for. And how hard I’ve worked; and how much I’m enjoying it. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. And Josette was really looking forward to St Mildred’s. She slogged her guts out to get through her exams and she was really looking forward to a year of taking things easy with her friends before starting university. And now everything’s being ruined, for both of us.

“And why? All because Mum’s so flaming selfish, that’s why! It’s not even as if we’re going to get to travel round and see all the sights of Australia and New Zealand like Dad will. Mum’s planning just to spend her time there sitting on her backside in a flat in one place, and she thinks she’ll be lonely so she wants us there to keep her company. She’s tried to make out that it’s partly because she wants to spend some time with Josette before she goes to London; but it never seemed to bother her when I went, or when David went; and it’s never bothered her that we’ve been in Switzerland for two-thirds of the year all this time. If she was ill and couldn’t travel round with Dad then it’d be different; but she just can’t be bothered, and she doesn’t want to be on her own so she’s treating us like some bloody Victorian “daughters at home” who are just there for their mother’s convenience.

“It’s bad enough for Josette, missing out on St Mildred’s; but at least we should be back in time for her to start her course at L.S.E. next September as planned. And it’ll be disruptive for Kevin and Kester, but it’s not as if having a year at a different school at their age’ll cause them any problems in the long-term; and it’ll be hard for Ailie being left behind but she’s used to not seeing Mum and Dad for weeks on end anyway. But for me … Gretchen, I’m just going to be in a complete and utter mess. What on earth am I going to do?”

#455: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 9:36 am
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Poor Sybil. It was an incredibly selfish thing of Madge to do, yet she obviously felt she was right in demanding this of her daughters.

Thanks, Alison.

#456: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:16 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I'm sorry that Madge couldn't see how selfish she was being.

#457: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:45 am
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“Surely they can’t make you go,” I said. Then I realised, almost before the words were out of my mouth, just what a stupid comment that was. How many times had people made me go where I didn’t want to go?

She shook her head. “I’ve tried to tell myself exactly that, that I’m an adult and they can’t make me go … but if they won’t pay my college fees then I can’t stay. I haven’t got any money of my own, and even if I got some sort of part-time job it wouldn’t cover the cost of the fees and living expenses as well. I just feel completely powerless. It’s as if my entire life’s in other people’s hands, and I might as well give up and not bother trying because there just isn’t any point.”

My parents had moved because the jobs they were dependent on had moved; I’d had to go with them because I’d only been a child; and I’d been denied the chance even to try to get a place at grammar school because we didn’t have the money. But now here was Sybil, the beautiful, talented, grown-up daughter of a wealthy, well-known family, saying exactly what I’d so often found myself thinking. And I think it was then that I finally accepted that no-one’s life went exactly as they’d planned: it wasn’t just mine. And then I realised that maybe I did know what to say to help – because I’d learned from my experiences.

“Don’t think like that,” I said quickly. “Don’t ever think like that. I understand: believe me, I understand. I’ve been moved from Briesau to Guernsey and from Guernsey to Howells and from Howells to here; and none of it was my choice. And I didn’t take the scholarship exam when I was eleven, and then I left school when I was fifteen; and none of that was my choice either. And I thought that I might as well give up, and I’m telling you now that thinking like that doesn’t do any good. Now, is there no chance at all that they’ll change their minds?”

“I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “I’ve come home to see if talking about it face to face might help, but from what they said on the phone I doubt that it’ll have any effect at all. Josette’s still hoping that they’ll come round - she’s not told any of her friends that she’ll be leaving next year yet, because she’s hoping that it isn’t going to happen – but I think Mum’s dead set on this and that the more we argue the more she’ll dig her heels in. People think of her as “that sweet woman, Lady Russell,” but they don’t know what she can be like. From what I’ve heard, she used to make all the decisions when she was young and just expect Uncle Dick to go along with them; and that’s what she’s doing with Josette and me now.

“And Dad’s backing her up: he wouldn’t dream of messing up David’s plans, but he thinks that girls should do as their parents say. David thinks that the way they’re treating Josette and me’s a disgrace and he’s rung them up and told them so, by the way; but even that doesn’t seem to have done any good.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I do know what it’s like to have the course of your life changed by other people and factors beyond your control: I really do. But, if there’s no way round this and you do have to go, then please, please try to make the most of it. Don’t be bitter and don’t let yourself feel that there’s no point in anything, because the person who’ll suffer most from that’ll be you. I know that. You’ll get to see some of Australia, at least; and maybe if you explain the situation to the people at college then you’ll be able to finish your course when you get back. And you never know: something really good might happen to you whilst you’re there.”

Fate moves in mysterious ways: I think that that was I meant by that last bit. And it had certainly moved in a mysterious way for me this time. The Russells’ decision to go to Australia, sad though it was for Sybil and Josette and much as I sympathised with both of them, solved my problem in a way that nothing else could have done. Now I could move out.

#458: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:08 am
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She has come such a long way hasn't she? Not only can she appreciate that life can be just as unfair to other people, but she can speak from her own experience to say "don't give up." But poor Sybil - to be dragged away from everything she's worked for - and Josette too, that really would rankle.

Thank you Alison.

#459: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:31 am
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I hope Sybil and Josette can take Grechen's advice and do their best to make the most of their visit to Australia. It is a shame that Madge and Jem can't listen to their children's views on the subject, though, and take their wishes into consideration.

Thanks Alison.

#460: Author: Miriam, Location: Jerusalem, Israel

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:14 am
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As an aside, I almost studied at the Royal school of Needlework a few years ago. (It is now at Hampton Court, but it was at Kensington - it is the same course.) The course is considered an apprenticeship. There are no fees, and you get a living stipend. I don't remember the details, but I think it was actually livable - just.

Of course, I don't know if that was the case in the fifties, and Sybils defination of 'livable' could be rather higher than mine, but I think she just couldn't go through with the idea of direct disobedience.

#461: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 1:18 pm
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Gretchen's really grown up. I'm glad she's able to try to help Sybil.

#462: Author: alicat, Location: Wiltshire

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 1:37 pm
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The Gretchen who's speaking here is a much nicer person than she was at the start of this drabble!
I'd really like to meet her.

#463: Author: Alex, Location: Cambs, UK

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 1:42 pm
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Just read all of this Alison (well it is Reading Week, after all) and it's wonderful.

#464: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 2:55 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I wonder where Gretchen will live.

#465: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:19 pm
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Well done Gretchen - Sybil needed to hear that. Doesn't stop me from thinking that Madge was incredibly selfish there - can well understand Sybil, in later years, not wanting anything to do with her mother.

Thanks Alison.

#466: Author: Tara, Location: Malvern, Worcestershire

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:48 pm
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What a metamorphosis for Gretchen. Using her brain again and feeling valued and useful has boosted her confidence so much, and her words to Sybil are so very wise.
Yes, Madge wouldn't have got very far if she'd been all sweetness and light, but treating Sybil and Josette like that - and at their age, too - is indefensible. As Sybil says, like commodities.
This is gripping, and I'm so glad life is beginning to work out for Gretchen.
Thanks, Alison.

#467: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:47 am
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Thanks for the comments Very Happy

.

Sir James and Lady Russell agreed to let Sybil finish her year at college and Josette her year at school, seeing as Sir James didn’t have to be in Australia until the following autumn; but beyond that they refused to budge an inch. Sybil and Josette both remarked after Peggy Bettany’s wedding how much they envied their cousin and her new husband, now going off to Canada where they’d probably be well out of the range of any parental interference; and I thought what a terrible shame it was that their relationship with their parents had been so badly damaged. For all their sakes, I hoped that the trip to Australia might turn out well despite everything.

Although the Russells weren’t going to be leaving just yet, I felt able now to broach the subject of my moving out, knowing that the problem of Mum and Dad and Auntie Rosa having so much to do was now only a short term one. They’d have a relatively easy ten months or so of it whilst the Russells were away; and, by the time the Russells returned, Kevin and Kester would probably be going off to boarding school, Josefa would be nearly fifteen and able to look after herself, and Andy would –hopefully! - have grown up enough not to need nearly as much watching as he did now. Mum and Dad and Susan and her mum were all agreeable to the idea of my moving into Susan’s sister’s room after her wedding; and so, just after my twentieth birthday, I left home.

Life was much easier once I was living at Susan’s. Having so much less travelling to do meant that I wasn’t nearly as tired as I’d been before; I no longer had the worry of changing buses on my own in the dark; and, although I was paying Susan’s mum more than I’d been giving Mum and Dad, the saving on bus fares more than made up for it. Inevitably, there were times when being away from home felt strange, but I managed to get back to see everyone most weekends, and I actually moved back into the Russells’ house for a few weeks in the summer when the Maynards came to stay and Mum and Auntie Rosa were rushed off their feet.

After the Maynards’ visit, the Russells went to spend the rest of the summer at the Tiernsee, to relax for a few weeks before the preparations for their departure for Australia began in earnest. The old familiar feelings of homesickness and longing to see my grandparents again, never very far away even at the best of times, swept over me with overwhelming force when I received the postcard that Sybil sent me from Briesau. I told myself firmly that my priority at the moment was finishing my college course and getting my qualifications, and that any thoughts about going home to the Tiernsee would just have to be ignored. For the time being, at any rate.

By then, the first of the two years of my course had already ended; and I’d been delighted to find that I’d passed the end of year bookkeeping, shorthand and typing exams with some of the highest marks in my class. I really felt that all my hard work had been worth it, and I was determined to work just as hard if not harder during the second year.

I was working very hard at the shop too. All of us were. Too hard, most people felt. The Langleys had certainly succeeded in attracting a lot of new business, but their concern with increasing profits seemed to be at the expense of virtually every other consideration. They hadn’t taken on extra staff to cope with the extra customers, and so we were struggling to cope. On busy days I’d end up spending so much time helping out on the shop floor that I’d have to forego my lunch hour to avoid getting behind with the bookkeeping and the other administrative work.

Still, they were paying for me to do my college course – even though my salary was lower than it would have been otherwise as a result – and I felt that for that I owed them a huge debt of gratitude; and so I didn’t complain about them behind their backs in the way that most of the other girls at the shop did.

Besides - if, on one particular day, I hadn’t been working on the shop floor instead of working in the office at the back where I was meant to be, I’d never have met Will.

#468: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:03 am
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Aha! Do I detect romance? Very Happy

Still, that doesn't compensate for being overworked....

Thanks Alison

#469: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:54 am
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Thanks, Alison. I look forward to finding out whom Will is.

#470: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:09 pm
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can't wait to find out about Will!

#471: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:34 pm
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Hmmm, don't let them take advantage of you Gretchen - yes they are paying for your course but it's only so that you will be better able to do more at the store.

Thanks Alison.

#472: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:59 am
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Romance too? She's really having a good time now, isn't she?

Thanks Alison.

#473: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:54 am
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We didn’t get a lot of young men coming into the shop. Well, it was a ladies’ dress shop, after all. So Will stood out immediately when he walked in one lunchtime, looking around for a sales assistant and happening to catch my eye. His mother couldn’t get into town that day, he told me, so she’d asked him to call in in his lunch hour to collect a dress that she’d left to be shortened.

I recognised the surname he gave me immediately. The lady concerned was a regular customer – one whom none of us liked. She lived in what its inhabitants considered to be a very exclusive area of Armiford, and had a habit of speaking to whoever was attending to her as if they were something she’d just stepped in; but she spent so much money in the shop that none of us dared risk offending her by refusing to put up with it. Our poor dressmaker had spent hours over the alterations to the evening gown in question, so terrified had she been of the consequences if the delicate fabric were to be damaged.

I hoped that the lady’s son wasn’t going to speak to me like she usually did - I sometimes found it very difficult keeping my mouth shut when dealing with awkward customers, and I wasn’t having the best of days anyway because the shop was so busy and I was getting behind with the bookkeeping – but he didn’t. At first he actually seemed too embarrassed about being in a ladies’ clothes shop to say anything much at all. Then I made a joke about him being the first fellow we’d seen in there all week; we got talking; and he asked me if I’d like to go out for a drink with him that evening. I agreed like a shot! He seemed really nice; it wasn’t a college night; and since starting my course my social life had taken a right nosedive. It had been ages since I’d been out on a proper date, and these days I didn’t get much chance to meet anyone new.

When I got home from work, I worried myself sick over what to put on, knowing that he came from what Lady Russell would call “a very nice area”; but when he called for me he suggested that we just go to one of the local pubs, so if anything I ended up being a bit over-dressed! We got on well. He turned out to be excellent company, telling funny stories about the solicitor’s office where he worked with his father and uncle and laughing at some of the tales that I had to tell about the shop and the Russells’ house. I was sorry when the evening came to an end, but very pleased when he asked if he could see me again and we arranged to meet up the following Saturday night.

Before long, we were seeing each other on most Saturday nights and some weekday nights as well – provided that it didn’t interfere with either my college work or the various dinner parties and so on that Will was always being invited to by work contacts or family friends. We usually went out for a drink or to the pictures, or sometimes we went dancing. If I’d been living at home then I suppose that I’d have asked him round for his tea sometimes, but as it was I didn’t: it didn’t seem fair to impose on Susan’s mum by asking her if I could invite my boyfriend round to eat with us. I never went round for tea at his house either: unlike me, he still lived with his parents, but he said that they were a bit of a nightmare. From what I’d seen of his mother, I could well believe it, so I wasn’t sorry that he never asked me to go round to meet them.

After we’d been seeing each other for a few months, I did take him to meet my Mum and Dad, but unfortunately they didn’t seem very taken with him. It was a shame, but I’d known very well that they wouldn’t be happy about my seeing someone who wasn’t a Catholic, and anyway they were still inclined to be quite protective of me and I supposed that they’d have been sceptical about any young man whom I’d brought home. I was more disappointed to realise that Susan wasn’t particularly keen on him either; but now that I was seeing Will I didn’t have as much time to spend with her as I’d done before, so I thought that maybe she was a little bit jealous and I hoped that soon she’d meet someone as well.

It wasn’t perfect. Sometimes I couldn’t help feeling that we didn’t have all that much in common; sometimes he cancelled dates with very little notice; and sometimes I got the feeling that he wasn’t really listening to what I was saying. And it was hard not to keep imagining an ideal world in which my family and friends all liked and approved of him and his felt the same about me.

But then none of us are perfect: I knew that I certainly wasn’t. And anyway, in an ideal world I’d have been living at the Tiernsee instead of in Armiford, and doing something a lot more worthwhile than working in an understaffed clothes shop that catered for snooty people like Will’s mum, and so I’d never have met Will at all: so thinking like that was daft. This wasn’t an ideal world, it was the real world; and the main thing I’d learned over the years was that you had to live in the real world and make the most of doing so.

And I wasn’t doing too badly, I thought – reaching out frantically to touch the nearest piece of wood, superstitiously! As the milestone date of my twenty-first birthday approached, I was living with people whom I liked and got on well with, I had my parents and aunt and siblings living not far away, I had a reasonable job and would hopefully soon be getting some qualifications at last, and I had good friends and a steady boyfriend. My life might not be what I’d imagined as a child that it would be, but I reckoned that I definitely couldn’t complain.

#474: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 8:18 am
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I feel rather uneasy about Will. I hope Grechen isn't going to get hurt. Although I do think she'll give him a really hard time if he's not what he seems at the moment!

#475: In the presence of fate Author: Fiona Mc, Location: Bendigo, Australia

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:07 am
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I hope Will isn't just using her. The fact that he doesn't take her home bothers me a lot and no one who has her best interest at heart likes him. Far enough if it were just her parents I could understand Her dismissing it but nor her best friend as well. That's sure give away that he's a bit dodgy.

#476: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:53 am
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Thanks, Alison. I hope that Gretchen won't get hurt.

#477: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 1:21 pm
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I'm having doubts about Will. too. I hope Gretchen won't be disappointed with him.

#478: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:30 pm
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Another with doubts about Will - more because of his habit of breaking dates...

Thanks Alison

#479: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:20 pm
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Oh dear; he breaks dates, hasn't taken her to meet his parents, and doesn't always listen to her.... this ssounds ominous.

#480: Author: Tara, Location: Malvern, Worcestershire

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:21 am
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Very ominous. Gretchen is pretty innocent, of course but she has far too much in her to be walked on - he'll push her too far very soon.

#481: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 8:09 am
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In January 1955, I celebrated my twenty-first birthday. The date fell on a Saturday, and on the Friday night preceding it I went out with Will, Susan, Susan’s new boyfriend Johnny and a group of others. I didn’t see as much of some of our old crowd as I’d done previously – not everyone could understand why I’d wanted to start studying again – but there were still a fair few of us, and we had a good night of it. I have to admit that we all had a little bit too much to drink, and I’m afraid that Susan and I woke her mum up when we fell in well after midnight, singing “Twenty-one today”. I’ve got a horrible feeling that we woke a lot of the neighbours up too: we weren’t exactly quiet as we walked down the street. Oh well, you were only twenty-one once, as Susan’s mum said!

Needless to say, neither Susan nor I were up very early on the Saturday morning! Susan’s mum eventually woke us both at gone ten o’clock, wishing me a happy birthday and reminding me that Dad was coming to collect me some time mid-morning to take me back to the Russells’ house for a celebratory family lunch. Susan and her mum had been invited too; but, after thanking Mum very much, they’d declined, knowing that Mum and Dad really wanted this to be a family occasion. Will had also been invited, and had also declined - supposedly for the same reason but I had the distinct feeling that he just hadn’t wanted to come. Seeing as I had the equally distinct feeling that none of my family had wanted him to come, I supposed that it was probably for the best.

Dad had obviously guessed that I wouldn’t be ready on time, because he didn’t call for me until gone midday in the end. By then I was up and dressed, and I’d opened my cards from Susan and her mum and from several other friends. Susan had bought me a pair of earrings that she’d seen me admiring in a shop in town, and some of the others had clubbed together to buy me a bag that I’d been hankering after for ages. Will had got me a big box of chocolates.

When we got back to the Russells’ house, I found that Mum had decided that, seeing as it was a special occasion, the seven of us could use the Russells’ fancy dining room and the best cutlery and crockery for once. She and Auntie Rosa had made the table look absolutely beautiful, and Jakob and Andy had hung a banner with “Happy birthday Gretchen” – painstakingly painted by Josefa, who was far more artistic than any of the rest of us – over the dining room door. I was really touched by all. I was even more touched with the present that they’d all clubbed together to buy me – a silver necklace that I knew it must have been difficult for them to afford.

Before we ate, Mum – despite some grumbling from the boys, who both insisted that they were starving! - brought out a huge pile of cards. The big one on the top of the pile was from her and Dad; then there was from Auntie Rosa, and one from Jakob and Josefa and Andreas. Then there was one with an Australian postmark on it: I recognised Sybil’s writing on the envelope at once. She’d sent the card care of my parents, so that I wouldn’t open it early, she’d written! The next card, postmarked Switzerland, was from Cousin Anna.

And then came a whole load of cards all bearing the postmark of my own country. Cards from my grandparents. Cards from the aunts and uncles whom I hadn’t seen since I was a tiny child, many of them including the names of cousins I’d never met. And, finally, one from Auntie Karen and her husband and their fifteen-month-old twins. It was in a big envelope, which was padded with cardboard and marked “Do not bend” in both German and English – because there inside it, along with a smaller envelope containing the card, was a beautiful painting of the Briesau end of the Tiernsee, with the slope of the Sonnalpe rising above the lake at one side and Die Rosen just visible at the top of it.

“On the day that you come of age, my dear Gretchen, I thought you’d like to have a picture of the place where you were born,” she’d written inside the card.

My eyes filled with tears. It was a beautiful painting, and a beautiful thought.

And it was a truly beautiful birthday.

#482: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 8:17 am
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What a lovely birthday! I'm still bothered by Will's attitude, though!

#483: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:30 am
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What a wonderful birthday...especially the painting....

#484: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:38 pm
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Glad she had such a good time - that painting sounds lovely.

Thanks Alison

#485: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:52 pm
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Thanks, Alison. I'm glad that Gretchen is having a good 21st birthday.

#486: In the presence of fate Author: Fiona Mc, Location: Bendigo, Australia

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:10 am
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Gretchen, ditch Will especially if he can't be bothered to show for your birthday. Glad about your present. It sounds perfect for you.

The CBB -> Ste Therese's House

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