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#1: Dance as though nobody's watching Author: Xanthe, Location: London

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 10:08 am
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I have spent far too much time in hospitals. Far too much time being poked and prodded and pushed and pulled. Far too much time being told I have to try harder, be positive, smile, bear up under it... I have spent far too much time in places like this to have any real hope that this time might be different. They say they think my spine will stay straight, that I won't limp any more. That's what they'd thought after the fire, originally, before they realised how bad the damage was. I've not got much faith in doctors, and the fluttering attentions of the nurses aggravate me almost beyond measure. Mrs Maynard's spent quite a lot of time with me, and I know I should be grateful, but sometimes I find her platitudes, her certainty in the healing powers of God and her husband, so aggravating I want to shake her. Mostly I'm glad to see her though – she talks to me like I'm a normal person, just as though I were any of the other pupils from the school who'd ended up stuck here. That's something else, actually – quite a lot of the girls from my form have come to see me, really to see me, not to gawp, or to patronise. I'm starting to remember what it's like to be a person, just a person, not a cripple.

...........................................................

Dr Benson came to see me a few days ago. She's the one doctor I've got any time for, really, because she's a doctor of classics, not of medicine; and because she's the one person round here who seems to really understand how I feel. She told me about the accident she had when she was at school – how she'd hurt her back and couldn't walk at all for ages. She didn't try to say she knew exactly what I was going through, but she gave me some things to think about. To be honest, I've not been making that much of an effort with the exercises I've been given. There didn't seem to be much point when they didn't work the last time. She persuaded me to give them a try though, so I have been. There's a gymnasium here in the San and each day they wheel me down there to do some exercise, and then they wheel me back to rest. I'm supposed to be re-learning how to walk, and it's stupidly hard work – shuffling along as though I'm ninety, clinging to anything – anyone – for dear life. There's a girl of about fourteen or so who's at about the same stage I am, though for a different reason. She was here for winter sports training – she is, or was, a ski-er – and was in an accident. I've never heard her say anything, though, about not being able to ski again. I asked her, today, while we were having a rest, if she didn't mind about it. She laughed at me for a moment, but in a nice way, and told me that of course she minded, but there wasn't anything she could do, so she might as well get on with it, and just hope for the best. I thought I'd been doing that – trying not to let anyone see just how much I hated being crippled, by trying to keep them away. I thought that by pushing everyone away I was being strong, but maybe, just maybe, I was wrong about that.

...........................................................

It's warm in the dance studio, sunlight bouncing off the mirror that dominates the room. I'm never going to dance any of the roles I used to dream I might, but some of the girls I teach, well, perhaps they will. I teach an entire range of ages and abilities, mostly girls, though there is the occasional boy in the class. I set up the dance school myself, with a little help from my aunt in organising the business side of things, and a girl who'd been at the English branch of the Chalet School plays the piano for the classes. Of all the people I teach, my favourite class are a group who come from what they call a “special school”. I can teach steps to anyone who wants to learn, but I can teach that class something more, something that it took me far too long to learn – to dance as though nobody's watching. And, as the room empties, that's what I start to do.

#2: Author: Woofter, Location: Location? What's a location?

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 10:30 am
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Awww this is so lovely, thank you Xanthe.

It's nice to see what happened to Naomi, I don't remember her ever being mentioned after that one book.

#3: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 10:51 am
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Thanks Xanthe - that was lovely.

#4: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:09 am
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Lovely Xanthe - and so realistic - it would have taken Naomi some time to come to terms with everything - glad Stacie could help.

#5: Author: Mona, Location: Hertfordshire

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 12:04 pm
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Thanks Xanthe! Lovely to see how Naomi may have come to terms with things and recovered. And to see her passing on what she learned.

#6: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 1:49 pm
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It's nice to see that Naomi got some peace of mind and happiness after all. Thanks Xanthe.

#7: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 2:09 pm
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Thank you Xanthe, that was a lovely glimpse into Naomi's life.

With mod hat on - edited the original post to make it fit the screen

#8: Author: Sal, Location: Walsall / Aberystwyth

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 2:10 pm
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Thanks Xanthe that was really lovely Smile

#9: Author: Karoline, Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 2:26 pm
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Nice insight into Naomi's thought processes, thanks Xanthe

#10: Author: catherine, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 2:38 pm
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Lovely.

Thank you.

#11: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 3:27 pm
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A really insightful vignette, Xanthe. Thank you.

#12: Author: Elbee, Location: Surrey

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 3:44 pm
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Lovely, thank you.

#13: Author: La Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 6:51 pm
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Thank-you Xanthe! I always wanted to know what happened to Naomi. n

#14: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 8:39 pm
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Thank you Xanthe!
That really was beautiful. I have tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my arms from reading it. You have a real gift for getting the character's feelings and emotions across.

#15: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:08 pm
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Thank-you Xan, that was beautiful, such a lovely outcome for her and so positive. It is great to see where she ended up.

#16: Author: Nicola, Location: Derbyshire

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:01 am
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I love the feeling of that final paragraph.

Thank you.

#17: Author: Tamzin, Location: Edinburgh

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:19 am
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I enjoyed this. I can't help but see naomi as Billy Elliott's teacher now even though Naomi didn't look or act like Julie Walters in the film. Confused

#18: Author: Tan, Location: London via Newcastle Australia

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:27 pm
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This is beautiful ... she has come so far hasn't she?

#19: Author: Elle, Location: Peterborough

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:07 pm
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That was lovely (and made me cry a little!) Thank you.

#20: Author: Elder in Ontario, Location: Ontario, Canada

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 11:54 pm
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I missed this somehow over the weekend - and it's given me goosebumps! Lovely insights there, Xanthe, thank you.

#21: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 12:06 am
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Thanks, Xanthe. It's good that Naomi learnt to come to terms with things in her own time.

#22: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 1:27 am
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I've read this three times now, Xanthe, and each time, it's more satisfying. Thank you.

#23: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 5:16 pm
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I've just read this Xanthe and it was beautiful - very realistic, especially the not doing the exercises and it made me all teary - thankyou

#24: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:36 am
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I completely missed this before!

Thanks Xanthe *blinking hard*

#25: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:00 pm
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Beautiful, Xanthe. Crying or Very sad

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