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The broken rosary
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=3814
Author:  JellySheep [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  The broken rosary
In Prayers one morning, Con Maynard realised that she no longer believed in God. It was a quiet, undramatic moment, which did not seem to reflect the collapse of a whole belief system, and all around Con everything seemed to be going on as usual, without noticing her turmoil. This seemed strange to her: surely it must be written all over her. Feverishly, she twisted her rosary between her fingers to try and calm herself, as she began to grasp some of the implications of unbelief. Suddenly it snapped and its remnants scattered around her. Heads turned as the beads hit the floor, and Con wanted to disappear: this seemed like an outward sign of what was going on in her mind.
The rest of Prayers passed in a blur, and then Con dropped to the floor to try and gather up the remains of her rosary. Len and Margot scrabbled under the benches to try and help. It was a relief for Con to concentrate on a simple practical task rather than her thoughts, and she wished she could stay concealed on hands and knees among the benches. She didn't want to meet her sisters' eyes, as it was hard to know what they would think. It felt as if she had suddenly lost some of her previous closeness to Len, Margot and the rest of the family and a barrier had sprung up between them in the place of their common faith.
Len eyed her sister unobtrusively as they hurried to rejoin the rest of the school. Something seemed to be wrong, and a broken rosary, however precious, did not seem to be enough of a reason. There was no time for talk until break, when she suggested to Con that they take a walk in the garden.
Con was reluctant: she wanted some time alone to try and come to terms with the collapse of her faith, but knew that she would not be able to escape without arousing Len's suspicions. She let her sister tuck a hand through her arm and lead her along a quiet path.
"Con, is something the matter?" Len's voice was full of concern. How will she react if I tell her? worried Con.
"I-I-no" she stammered. It seemed that she could not speak of what was on her mind, as if there were a physical restraint on her tongue, and for once words, which were her craft, failed her.
"I don't want to be nosy, but you do seem to be upset. Are you sure you can't talk to me about it? Or Auntie Hilda, or Mamma?" Con wrestled with herself. It seemed that talking about losing her faith would magnify and complicate the problem. If she kept it to herself, it might blow over. On the other hand, it might be better to get the ordeal of explaining over with.
"No, honestly, Len, I'm just feeling a bit under the weather. Hopefully it will pass."
Len put an arm around her triplet's shoulders. "You poor old thing! You sound like you need a bit of looking after. Maybe Auntie Hilda will let you go home for a bit at the weekend - have English tea, play with the kiddies, that sort of thing. Let's go and try to see her before the end of break."
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 3:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting start - thank you JellySheep. Looking forward to hearing more of this...
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
A common problem in teenagers and one EBD never addressed, but it must have happened. Well done Jellysheep for tackling it.
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting - looking forward to seeing how Con and the CS deal with this.


Thanks JS
Author:  linda [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
This looks interesting. :D As Pauline says it is a common problem for teenagers when they begin to question things they have always taken for granted.

Thank you Jellysheep
Author:  Pat [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've always wondered - off and on anyway - if any of the girls paid lip service to the religious side of the CS. Just pretended they were praying etc. It would be easy to do, as it wouldn't occur to the rest that they weren't doing what everyone else was. And so long as they mouthed the words of the hymns only their neighbours would realise that they weren't singing.
Author:  Tara [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting. Poor Con, feeling unable to tell anyone - yet all young believers have to renegotiate their faith from time to time on their journey to maturity. Hope she finds people who can help her forward.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
I always wondered how they went after leavingthe Chalet School but during it would be hard to decided in such a religious school to say no I don't believe. Will be interested in how Con copes with it all
Author:  Mrs Redboots [ Fri Jan 04, 2008 4:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Pat wrote:
I've always wondered - off and on anyway - if any of the girls paid lip service to the religious side of the CS. Just pretended they were praying etc. It would be easy to do, as it wouldn't occur to the rest that they weren't doing what everyone else was. And so long as they mouthed the words of the hymns only their neighbours would realise that they weren't singing.
We know that they did, don't we, from the book whose title escapes me ("Trials", I think) starring Naomi Elton - EBD explicitly says that there were girls who were more or less uninterested but there hadn't been anybody quite like Naomi before....

Thanks, JellySheep, this looks interesting.
Author:  leahbelle [ Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, JellySheep. Will be interesting to see how Con and the others deal with this.
Author:  Cathie [ Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:25 pm ]
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Poor Con. It'll be really hard for her. I know. It took me ages to admit to my parents that I did believe.(I was always brought up as an atheist.)
Author:  Pat [ Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mrs Redboots wrote:
Pat wrote:
I've always wondered - off and on anyway - if any of the girls paid lip service to the religious side of the CS. Just pretended they were praying etc. It would be easy to do, as it wouldn't occur to the rest that they weren't doing what everyone else was. And so long as they mouthed the words of the hymns only their neighbours would realise that they weren't singing.
We know that they did, don't we, from the book whose title escapes me ("Trials", I think) starring Naomi Elton - EBD explicitly says that there were girls who were more or less uninterested but there hadn't been anybody quite like Naomi before....

Thanks, JellySheep, this looks interesting.


The thing about Naomi was that her attitude astounded the others, as they'd never come across it before. Also Naomi said what she thought, and didn't try to hide it.
Author:  Jenefer [ Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fiona Mc wrote:
I always wondered how they went after leavingthe Chalet School but during it would be hard to decided in such a religious school to say no I don't believe. Will be interested in how Con copes with it all


I agree with Fiona. I am sure some of the girls went along with the religious stuff while at school and then lapsed after they left.
Con might find it easier when she gets to university and finds that many people do not attend church or practise any religion
Author:  Jennie [ Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is interesting. I wonder if Con will dare to tell her mother?
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tara wrote:
...all young believers have to renegotiate their faith from time to time on their journey to maturity.

Even after reaching maturity, one still has has to think and re-think one's faith as one goes through life and meets new challenges.

And I know for a fact that a lot of my fellow pupils at my Catholic school only paid lip service to their faith, mainly because one didn't rebel quite so much in those days until one left school.

Thanks, JellySheep
Author:  JellySheep [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
As Con knelt beside her bed that night, the confusion which she had put to one side during lessons came flooding back. She no longer knew what to do - if she didn't believe in God, then prayer was pointless. She was aware of the other members of her dormitory saying their prayers, and felt a profound contrast between them and herself. She spent the time feverishly casting about in her mind for some trace of belief, some path to follow. Eventually it was time for lights out and, with some relief, she could stop thinking for the day.
Somehow Con struggled through the next couple of days by immersing herself in her school work and prefectly duties. Sunday, however, was another matter entirely: Mass was unavoidable. As she heard the familiar words, Con felt a wave of something like revulsion sweep over her. The ritual was at the same time familiar and completely alien, and she felt she just couldn't go along with it. She wanted to cry out, but restrained herself by gripping the back of the pew in front until her knuckles were white. The Creed was impossible: despite not wanting to make herself obvious, she could not say the words, and could feel her sisters' surprised eyes on her. When it was time to go up to the altar, she murmured something about not feeling well and slipped out of the chapel as discreetly as she could. Soon the service was over and Con tried to compose herself to face the others.
Joey Maynard noticed that her second daughter was quieter and paler than usual, and, once peace had been established and the tinies settled with picture books, she resolved to get to the bottom of it. After the strain of Mass, Con had no resistance left in her and she baldly stated that she could no longer believe in God.
Joey was flummoxed. Of course, she had heard of people losing their faith, but had no idea how to deal with it. She simply couldn't understand why. She asked Con whether her crisis were because of intellectual or scientific difficulties, or trouble with problematic doctrines and teachings.
Con shook her head. "You see, Mamma, it's not actually because of anything. It just happened - it was as if a light had gone out, or God had died."
Joey's own faith was so deeply rooted that she could not begin to imagine what Con was telling her. Of course, there had been times when she had railed against God - when she had believed jack to be dead, or when Phil had caught polio, but she had never doubted His existence. For once, she was at a loss for what to say.
Author:  Elbee [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hope Joey deals with Con tactfully.

Thanks, Jellysheep.
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
At least she didn't tell her she was "talking rot" as Mary-Lou so rudely did with Naomi.
Author:  Jennie [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, saying nothing is the best way to treat it.
Author:  JellySheep [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
"My love, you mustn't give up on God! If you do, your soul will be in danger. If you pray hard enough, you will be rewarded. Perhaps you should speak to a priest - or maybe, I've just thought of something - do you remember Naomi Elton? She didn't believe in God until she met up with Mary-Lou. Maybe we could take you to see her and she might be able to help you."
Inwardly, Con was full of conflicting emotions. Though she was relieved that her mother was not as horrified as she might have been, and she realised that Joey was genuinely trying to do her best for her daughter, she couldn't help wishing that her mother would accept her as she was at the moment rather than trying to bring her into line. She suddenly felt reluctant to confide in Joey, as it seemed that, however benevolent her mother's intentions, she would never quite understand, and this disinclination made Con feel guilty. After all, she had always been close to her mother and now there was a barrier between them.
Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can see that Joey was only trying to help, but perhaps, as Con thinks, Joey should just have accepted what Con had to tell her rather than telling her that she shouldn't give up on God. I can't see Joey ever having any doubts about her own beliefs.

Thanks, JellySheep, this is very thought provoking.
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh dear - can understand Joey's position but immediately blurting out that Con's soul is in danger is not going to help. It may be what Joey believes - but it is not what Con believes now.


Thanks JS.
Author:  Sarah_K [ Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Talking to Naomi or a priest or someone is quite a good idea really, I'm glad Jo didn't say something really tactless or hurtful or just write Con off as being silly!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Jellysheep. Its always bound to be a difficult conversation between the two. At least Joey was observant enough to notice what was happening
Author:  JellySheep [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
In the meantime, Con had to return to school. The next evening, she could not face Prayers and crept quietly away to hide in the Splashery for a little time alone to try and figure out why her faith had disappeared. The previous few weeks had not been particularly religious for her, but she had supposed that it was just a natural fluctuation. She pondered whether the fact that her faith had collapsed seemingly for nothing meant that it had never been worth much. What Joey had said about her soul being in danger went round and round her head - if there were no God, there could be no salvation, no heaven, nothing beyond life here and now. Prayer was useless and there was no reward for good deeds.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a rattling at the door.
"Con? Are you in there?" whispered Len. Con was tempted to try and pretend not to be there, but slowly opened the door. "Con! What's the matter?" It was a comfort to have Len's arms around her. "Is it something to do with religion?"
Con nodded.
"Well, you can't hide away every day at Prayers time. The staff will start noticing. I don't know what Auntie Hilda and Mlle. will say, but if you really can't cope with Prayers you'll have to tell them about it. I'll come with you if it'll make it easier."
Con had never fully realised how normative the School was, how narrow the mould into which everyone was supposed to fit, or be deemed unacceptable, in need of reform. She dreaded being subjected to "correction" to bring her back to the pattern of the Chalet girl. Though the state she was in was by no means comfortable, it had become part of her true self and she found herself strangely loath to get rid of it. She was also used to being the least noticeable triplet, preferring to stay out of the limelight, and when attention turned to her she tended to feel awkward. Between family, the School and the Church, she suspected that there would be too much attention on her for comfort when she would really rather undergo this struggle in private.
Though she could not understand why this should have happened, miss Annersley could see that Con was genuinely suffering, which was enough. She suggested that the girl was showing integrity in not simply paying lip-service to religion. But there seemed no obvious solution - letting Con stop attending Prayers could make it harder for her to find her way back. Though there had been pupils who had not really been Christians, they had not come from such religious backgrounds. Without her parents' approval, Con could not give up religious observances.
Miss Annersley phoned Freudesheim to try and resolve the problem and the result was as she expected: Joey and Jack definitely did not want Con to stop attending Prayers. The headmistress was in a quandary: she could not go against the Maynards, but the expression on Con's face tugged at her heart. She prayed silently for a solution.
"Con, you are to continue to go to Prayers with the other girls, but you may sit by the door to make sure the girls go in and out in an orderly fashion. that was you will be inconspicuous and if everything really does become too much, you will be able to slip out unnoticed. I am putting you on your honour not to over-use this - your parents are trusting me to keep you in touch with religion. I hope you won't see me as siding against you - I do feel for you and want to do the best for you. So I hope you will feel able to talk to me if you need someone, especially if you want a confidante outside your family. Close though I am to your parents, I wouldn't tell them anything you'd rather I didn't." This at least was an enormous relief and Con was deeply grateful to the headmistress for her solution to the problem.
Author:  Mona [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely Miss Annersley there. It's so like her to want to find a way to help Con.
Author:  Alison H [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good to see Hilda being so supportive, in what must be a very awkward situation for her given that she's a friend of the family as well as the Head.
Author:  Jennie [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Typically wise solution from Hilda.
Author:  Honor [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks JellySheep. This is really good - touching on an area that wasn't really gone into in the books. It was just assumed that all the girls had faith. As Con is finding out having faith isn't something you can control or command. You either have it or you don't and if you don't you can't somehow magic it into existence.
Author:  roversgirl [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  re.
i really like how this discusses an issue that doesn't really get adressed in the books - and well done for finding a solution!
Author:  Jenefer [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Jellysheep. I thought Miss Annersley handled the situation very well. Con needs to work things out for herself.
Author:  clair [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thought that was handled really well - poor Miss Annersley stuck in the middle! Also thought that Len was good there in not asking too much and just offering help if Con wanted it. Let's hope that Joey will become as understanding!
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well done Miss Annersley - but what a dreadful position to be in. And Jack and Joey need to think about things - the fastest way to ensure Con's views become crystallised will be to force her to do something without regard for her feelings.


Thanks JS
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yet another shining example of Hilda Annersley's unique understanding pf all her pupils' needs - it's no wonder she was such a good Head Mistress. Such a sensible, yet sensitive compromise solution, giving Con a role of responsibility which meant she had, at least, to go into prayers, but leaving her with an opportunity to leave if she felt she must.

Thanks, Jellysheep.
Author:  linda [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Well done Hilda! It must be difficult for her to do the best thing for Con whilst not going against Jack and Joey's wishes that Con continues to take part in religious observance. She has come up with a workable solution.

Thanks Jellysheep
Author:  Tara [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Lovely, understanding response from Miss Annersley there - much wiser than Con's parents. Let the girl find her own way throught his, she will not want to be told all the arguments she already knows.
Quote:
Though the state she was in was by no means comfortable, it had become part of her true self and she found herself strangely loath to get rid of it
A very sensitive response to Con's dilemma.

Thank you, Jellysheep, this is very interesting.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Am glad Hilda was so supportive. An its very brave and mature of Con to start questioning her faith like that so young in such a spiritual/church environment
Author:  JellySheep [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
If anyone knows the proper name of the priest in the later books, or any useful info about him, do let me know and I'll fill it in.


Instead of taking part in Saturday's ramble, Con was collected by Joey, who had organised a meeting for the two of them with the Platz's Catholic priest.
"Frau Doktor Maynard" began Vater Josef, "how may I be of assistance?" Joey and Con looked awkwardly at each other in a pregnant silence. Then Joey decided that things needed to be helped along a little.
"Con has a problem on which we hope you will be able to advise. Con, would you like to tell Vater Josef?"
it was a difficult moment: Con felt that this was the last thing she wanted to do, and felt too as if there were something holding the words back. Though they might only be words, saying them seemed like an enormous step into the unknown, something she could never undo.
"I...I..." She could see her mother willing her to speak. Finally, scraping together every scrap of resolve, she brought the words out. "I think I've lost my faith."
Vater Josef looked rather worried. This had not been one of the strong points of his training as a priest to a relatively rural community. "Mein Kind, why do you think this? Has some misfortune befallen you, or has someone been persuading you that there is no God?" Being met with negative answers, he tried again to come up with a reason why someone might lose her faith. "Are you tempted by the Evil One to renounce your beliefs?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I just know that I can't believe in God any more. There doesn't seem to be any reason for it - it just happened."
Vater Josef took off his glasses and began polishing them, evidently something he did when uneasy. "Mein Kind, when you look upon creation, does it not suggest to you the divine hand, the existence of God? And the testimonies of the Bible and the saints, the philosophical proofs of God? Do you disbelieve them?"
"Not exactly disbelieve. Maybe it's all true, but somehow it isn't alive in me any more, so I can't say now that I actually believe it."
Vater Josef began to fold and unfold his glasses. "I fear, Frau Maynard, that all we will be able to do is pray. Pray that the Good Shepherd may bring Fraeulein Con back into His flock. After all, mein Kind, we are told that He takes great pains in finding us when we have strayed, if we let Him. I will remember you in my prayers, and let us pray together now. Lord Christ, we pray for the soul of Thy servant Con, that she may know Thee, that the truth of Thy love may set her free from the doubts which beset her and guide her to the path of righteousness. In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, Amen."
"Amen" echoed Joey fervently. Con was silent. She wasn't sure that she really wanted to be brought back to the path of righteousness. Though she did feel lost, she wanted to be able to find enlightenment for herself rather than being pushed towards it by other people. She didn't know if she would ever find her way back to God, but was sure that it could only come from herself. The problem was that she couldn't make herself want her faith back, even though she knew that she should. Her heart, soul or whatever it was seemed contrary, unpredictable and uncontrollable, and the fact that she could not bring herself completely under control was a little frightening - she could not tell what might happen to her next.



[/b]
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, that priest was worse than useless, wasn't he? And surely something like that should have been done with just Con and the priest? Making her feel guilty for everything is unlikely to work, is it? And I like the fact that she doesn't actually want the faith back.


Thanks JS
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Frankly, I think Hilda Annersley made a much better job of handling Con's situation than the priest did - and I agree with Lesley that Con should have been able to talk to the priest on her own.
Thanks, JellySheep.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 9:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
That priest's training was pretty hopeless, wasn't it - rural parish or not, this is a problem he should have been trained to cope with :shock:
Also agree with Lesley that Jo shouldn't have stayed, and with Elder that Hilda is [unsurprisingly] much wiser than either Jo or the priest
Thanks, JellySheep, really liking this :)
Author:  Tara [ Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:19 am ]
Post subject: 
This is so real, and I identify with Con's feelings so much. The priest was certainly worse than useless, but I don't think anyone could have done any better, it just isn't what Con needs - she knows all the arguments already, they just no longer convince her, or, indeed, seem very relevant.
Joey is actually pushing Con further forward by making her articulate feelings she's not yet sorted out:
Quote:
Though they might only be words, saying them seemed like an enormous step into the unknown, something she could never undo.

I related strongly to her uncertainty, too:
Quote:
Not exactly disbelieve. Maybe it's all true, but somehow it isn't alive in me any more, so I can't say now that I actually believe it."

and the whole of the last paragraph was so moving, Con's 'lostness', yet her realisation that she has to find her own way forward, whatever that means and wherever it may lead. She must feel that she's dangling over a cliff, hanging on by her fingernails, but when she lets go, she'll find there's solid ground underneath.

Thank you, Jellysheep.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks JS, this is really thought provoking. I think her words that her faith doesn't seem alive to her is so believable and the more Joey pushes the more Con will rebel and leave her faith altogether, but I can understand Joey feeling like she will lose Con in eternity if she doesn't push (she has already raised the afterlife with Con). Am curious to see what Len and Margot will say
Author:  Liz K [ Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Elder in Ontario wrote:
Frankly, I think Hilda Annersley made a much better job of handling Con's situation than the priest did - and I agree with Lesley that Con should have been able to talk to the priest on her own.
Thanks, JellySheep.


Agrees wholeheartedly with this. I was brought up in the Church of England, my parents were very devout and dad's sister-in-law was a devout Catholic so I've seen first-hand that religion can be a (I'm finding it very difficult to find the right words here as I certainly do NOT want to offend anyone) great help in people's lives. Sadly I haven't set foot in a Church of England since my parents died although I have been invited to weddings/wedding anniversaries which have involved attending a church service, so I'm floundering almost as much as Con at the moment, not knowing what to believe in but that there is a force for good and bad out there.
Author:  linda [ Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
What was Joey thinking of? Hauling Con off to talk to a priest who clearly had no understanding of how to handle such a situation. Has she been tempted away by the Evil One? Is he a throwback to medieval times? :twisted: :twisted:

I think this will only serve to convince Con that she is right to cast off her religious beliefs. Poor girl!! I agree with other comments that Hilda handled the situation much better.

Thanks Jellysheep
Author:  Carolyn P [ Sat Jan 12, 2008 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think Hilda appears to have the best handle on the situation, Joey seems at a loss to try and see where Con is and how she is feeling. To not only arrange for ther to see the priest (presumably giving Con no say in this) but then to stay there and prompt Con into saying things she was not really ready to articulate was counter productive and rather unfeeling.

I actually feel quite sorry for the priest, on one hand he has a young girl there who says she has 'lost her faith', and actually does quite a good job at describing how she feels, I like the way she puts it as not being alive in her anymore, rather than a philosophical/theological/scientific arguement. She is the person he is meant to be helping in the conversation. On the other hand he has her distressed mother there who is obviously expecting him to bring Con back to faith in the course of a single conversation and who is likely to need help herself in coming to terms with her daughter loosing something she sees not only as a bedrock for life, but as necessary for salvation. He is caught between the two and his training is likely to have covered much more the arguements and philosophical/theological/scientific reasonings, than the emotional/spiritual side of 'it doesn't feel alive in me'. Whatever he does is going to be wrong.

This is very interesting.
Author:  Jennie [ Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just what Con didn't need. Have they forgotten Dame Julian of Norwich?
Author:  Tor [ Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jelly sheep this is so well done! I identify completely with Con, and worry for her too, because I am in a very similar situation. I have a very devout mother (Catholic), who is completely involved with her parish (a real pillar of the community). I was brought up Catholic, but lost my faith when I was about 17, and went through all of these emotions. The worst being that when you have first hand experience of how important religion is to someone, and you also love and respect someone, you can't just pay lip service to it.

For example, because I have rejected my faith but love and respect my other, I can't with good conscience have a church wedding, and make the promise to bring up my children as Catholics. I just can't lie when I know my mother would take it as sacred.

However, this approach causes much more pain and upset on a regular basis than if I had just gone on pretending. My poor mum just can't bare the fact that I am destined for Hell (and she's pre-emptively praying to get me out of purgatory I suspect), but also I guess there is the the very real hurt of having her ideals and beliefs rejected. she also infuriates me on a regular basis by insisting I'll "come back to the fold". She is not a theologian, and is extremely uncomfortable talking about religion in a non-emotive manner, so discussion usually end in tears. Unfortunately there is no grey area really between belief and un-belief, by not believing i am, de facto, saying what she believes in very deeply is nothing... It is all very hard!

So poor Con, I think she's in for a rough time. I'm not sure there is a solution for her... taking a stand is always hard.

tor x
Author:  clair [ Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Feeling sorry for Con in all this - how hard to be made to feel bad by being honest! Hilda definately has a better understanding on this than Joey - as has Len, but I'm wondering how Margot will react as that could be even bigger for Con to deal with than Joey's reaction.
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tor wrote:
My poor mum just can't bare the fact that I am destined for Hell (and she's pre-emptively praying to get me out of purgatory I suspect), but also I guess there is the the very real hurt of having her ideals and beliefs rejected. she also infuriates me on a regular basis by insisting I'll "come back to the fold". She is extremely uncomfortable talking about religion in a non-emotive manner, so discussion usually end in tears. Unfortunately there is no grey area really between belief and un-belief, by not believing i am, de facto, saying what she believes in very deeply is nothing... It is all very hard!

Tor, I am a committed Catholic myself, and can only pray for your mother because I don't understand where she is with this. She must be my age, but I would never condemn anyone to hell - I would have to condemn my own husband, for goodness sake. :cry: God is a God of love - love for all, not just the few. If your mother is correct, then the majority of humanity will never see Him. I can't accept that. Heaven isn't only for committed Catholics. (Sorry about this, folks, but I expect to see you all there! :lol: )

As far as I am concerned faith is a gift and cannot be forced. No amount of talking will change anyone's mind. We have to respect another's feelings and their beliefs, or lack of them, not get angry. You must have your marriage as you see fit, Tor - and your mother must respect that. You can't live a lie, and I hope all goes well for you. I admire you for being so strong.

As for Con, no priest however good would be able to change her mind just like that. Leaving her alone would be the best. Let go and let God...

Thanks, Jellyfish
Author:  Tor [ Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh dear, I have made my mum seem like a bit of a demon! She is not, and is very supportive of me... but... I can see she is worried about me, my lack of faith, and I can also tell she would prefer me to have a church wedding, to have my children baptised when the time comes, and I think she probably does worry for my immortal soul (and those of her future grandchildren...)

She doesn't say these things, but as i love my mum and want her to be happy, it pulls at my heart strings to think that things like this can cause her pain.

Everyone interprets their faith in their own way. She isn't condemning me to hell... just a wee bit worried that I might not be allowed in as per the writings of quite a lot of religious texts.... not sure what the current pope's stance is or how she reconciles this with personal faith, but i can tell she worries.

So, to bring this full circle to the story about Con (and not me!), I could very easily see how this story could end with a more mature but slightly alienated Con, as she just wont be able to join in with the group worship and mutual support that is so much part of her school/family/church life. There is an ultimate chasm of understanding - but like MaryR said:

Quote:
As far as I am concerned faith is a gift and cannot be forced. No amount of talking will change anyone's mind


And this sadly leaves con with the situation of her disbelief (?un-belief?), that is at odds with her families belief, and each party perhaps thinking the other is sadly mistaken...

Empathy mixed with sympathy on both sides, probably, which whilst the kindest way is usually quite infuriating :?
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tor wrote:
Oh dear, I have made my mum seem like a bit of a demon! She is not, and is very supportive of me... but... I can see she is worried about me, my lack of faith


I can relate to that as I waver between believing and not. All relationships are complex and you sound torn between staying true to yourself and you're own beliefs just as your mum is.
Author:  Cathie [ Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hope Joey can come to understand what Con is going through. What courage she must have had to summon to tell anyone. Everyone (well nearly) was Christian and the Chalet School was very religious so that would make it even harder for her than if it was just her family. Miss Annersley is wonderful, as ever.
Author:  JellySheep [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Before I start - thanks for the nice comments and hugs especially to Tor. I really sympathise with you as your story is a bit similar to mine (though I was 23 and my mother is less bothered by it)
A big caveat that I have nothing against either priests or psychiatrists (there are excellent ones out there) - hopefully that will prevent excommunication/ angry ones queuing outside my door. Con is just unlucky in the ones she encounters - and this is the 1950s when less was generally known about psychology etc. And about giving one's teenage offspring privacy and space. I agree that it would probably be better for Jo and Jack not to sit in but suspect that it's what they probably would have done. The psychiatric approach may seem off-the-wall but in the bad old days it was incredible what young women in particular were subjected to drastic treatments for...

Two Tuesdays later, Con was sent for by Miss Annersley, and found her parents waiting in the study. Jack Maynard cleared his throat rather awkwardly.
"Con, I've arranged for us to go and see a doctor who might be able to help you."
"A doctor? But I'm not ill."
"He's a psychiatrist rather than an ordinary doctor. It's not my field, but I've heard good things about his work, and that he's quite sympathetic." Con was horrified. A psychiatrist? Did her parents think she was mad? Miss Annersley tried not to show her misgivings: she didn't want to undermine Jack, or sow distrust in Con's mind. Still, this did seem drastic. As they drove to Interlaken, the three Maynards said little, as they were unsure of what to say. Jack tried to explain to Con how some psychological problems could have an underlying medical or psychiatric cause, and that losing one's faith might be a symptom. He cursed himself for sounding dry and clinical when he wanted to show that he saw this as a possibility for hope.
Soon they were sitting in Herr Doktor Fischler's consulting room. The doctor wanted to know all about Con's background, the family, her medical history. Some of the questions embarrassed her and she wished herself anywhere else.
"Well, Herr Doktor Maynard, Frau Maynard, I am not sure I can do anything for you. I think that this matter springs from the fact that Constance feels confined to the background in your family and at school. Her triplet sisters are more obviously popular, enjoy greater influence and more attention. Besides this, she has to compete for your love not only with more assertive siblings, but with the extra children you have taken under your wing. The triplets also have very defined roles - Len is the responsible leader, Margot is the "difficult" one, and Con - what is her place? I think also that Margot's interest in joining a religious order has something to do with this. Constance is rebelling against feelings of inadequacy compared to her sisters, and as religion is one respect in which she cannot measure up to Margot and Len, she has decided to discard it and, by doing so, create a new, independent identity. What is needed is affirmation, love and attention, in particular from you, so that she does not need to cry out for them."
Con was horrified again. How could he believe such things about her? "But -it's not like that at all! I'm not doing this for attention! I'm not doing it on purpose at all - I wouldn't upset Mamma and Papa. It's just something that's happened to me. You must believe me!"
Herr Doktor Fischler leaned back in his chair. "That may be, as far as conscious motivation is concerned. But can you be sure that you are not repressing a desire for love and attention? Perhaps if you look deep into your psyche..."
"But attention is the last thing I'd want! I just wish none of this had happened!" Con was growing more and more worked up as she tried to protect herself from misrepresentation.
"That's quite enough!" broke in Joey, putting an arm around Con's shoulders. "It's obvious that all we're doing here is upsetting Con. We're going home." Outside the doctor's surgery, she rounded on her husband. "Well, a fine mess that was! I can tell you, Jack Maynard, that we're not going to any more psychiatrists! I'm no doctor but I can tell you that that session was worse than useless.
At this onslaught, Jack was more defensive than he felt, countering that he had only done it for the best and he couldn't have foreseen what would happen. Con wished again that she could disappear - she hated confrontations, as well as feeling let down by her father.
Jack had been bitterly disappointed by Dr. Fischler. He had wanted so much to give his daughter a means of help, to protect her from difficulties, and, as medicine was his strength, he had looked to it for a solution. Now everything was worse, and it seemed it was all his fault. As they drove, somewhat awkwardly, as it was not generally part of the role of the paterfamilias, he asked Con's forgiveness, assuring her that the meeting had not been what he had envisaged. Con was taken aback by her father's humility.
"But Papa, it wasn't your fault!" Had Jack not been driving, she would have given him a hug to reinforce her point. Still, she hoped that her parents would stop these attempts at help, which were just compounding the problem, however good the intentions behind them might be.
Author:  Mrs Redboots [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good for Joey, there! And good that both parents are still loving Con, and showing that love, however strangely it might appear - all their efforts are, I'm sure, because they love her and want what's best for her. And speaking as the parent of an adult daughter, I do know how very, very hard it is to let go and let your children find their own way - and Con, in this story, is what? 16, 17? Still little more than a child.

Thanks, Jellysheep!
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was appalling - the fact that it could well have happened in the 1950's makes it even less so. Very pleased that Joey at least realised that it was the wrong thing to do. Regardless of how much they might love Con and struggle to understand her, to even contemplate that she had a mental illness is so terrible.

Thanks JS for a very thought-provoking tale.
Author:  Alison H [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Unfortunately it's not hard to imagine that happening- and, as Lesley said, thanks for a very thought-provoking story.
Author:  Tara [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh dear, that made me so very angry :? . At least Jo and Jack did realise they'd got it badly wrong (and were quite sweet about it), and I suppose it must seem to them that Con has 'lost her senses' as it were and has given up on something of fundamental importance, but nevertheless ...

What Tor called the 'chasm of understanding' is so true, but it can be bridged. The person who was my closest friend before I lost my faith (if I have, I'm never quite sure) still is, though with a bit of biting of tongue on both sides now and again. As I was much, much older than Con and able, on the whole, to hold my own in discussions, no-one was brave enough to challenge me and I felt oddly abandoned. I didn't want theological discussions anyway, I could say it all to myself, I just wanted to know someone minded because I wasn't there. On the whole, people were more concerned that I'd let the side down than about any conflict or distress I might have been experiencing! Ah well. I'll be really interested to see how Con emerges from all this.

Thanks, Jellysheep, this is stirring up quite a lot!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
In a sense can understand Joey and Jack's behaviour they are worried about her and in part they would feel responsible for her and feel like they have failed her in some way

It will be interesting to see Margot's reaction to Con's lack of faith
Author:  JellySheep [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
When I lost my faith I was trying to find useful reading matter and the one book I did find (which shall remain nameless) suggested it could be the influence of Satan, or that it could be depression/chemical.
I hadn't thought of Margot's reaction but it was such a good idea that here is a bit about it. I've shamelessly pinched Lesley's idea about sneaking a friend into Heaven - but then imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! :D

When Con arrived back at school, lessons were still going on so Miss Dene sent her to the library to read until Mittagessen. This period of quiet was just what she needed to calm herself before returning to school routine.
As the girls left the Speisesaal for the grounds after the meal, Con heard her name called, and margot came running up to her.
"Con! You all right, old thing? What did the Abbess want this morning?"
it wasn't easy, but Con couldn't hide the truth from her triplet. They had had their difficulties, but the three of them were still close - more so now that the problematic years were behind them. As she listened, Margot was troubled. She couldn't imagine what losing one's faith was like, but she knew all about struggling with her conscience and feeling that her path was not of her own choosing. Though she was becoming used to the implications of entering an order, there had been times when she had felt all at sea faced with her calling.
"Have you told Len?" asked Margot. Con had hoped the question would not arise, but there was no avoiding it. She sighed inwardly, foreseeing a bad reaction from Margot. Even though her triplet had put in Herculean efforts in the last few years to conquer "her devil", she could still be touchy.
"Margot, don't be angry, but she asked me, you see, and I couldn't keep it back. it was a couple of weeks ago." Margot's brows drew together in a frown, and Con could see the effort in her face as she restrained herself from hasty words.
"Why didn't you tell me?" It would have been hard for the question not to sound accusing, but Margot felt hurt and left out.
"I wouldn't have told Len if she hadn't asked" Con said to try and pacify her sister. "I didn't want to tell anybody, and then I wondered what you'd think of me. After all, you're going to be a nun, so your faith is strong. Compared to you I look like a failure, and I wanted to avoid thinking about that."
Margot's face softened, as she could tell from Con's expression and voice that her triplet was finding all this hard. Inwardly she kicked herself for having given in to selfish considerations and made Con feel worse. She wished she had an easier character- it seemed that it was harder for her to be good than it was for others.
"I'm sorry, Con. I shouldn't have said that, but you know me, I keep doing such stupid things. If you're going through a rough patch, I really wouldn't judge you. Not after all I've done."
"Don't worry about it. It's all in the past. Just promise me one thing, since we're the "imperfect triplets". If you die before me, when you get to heaven, make sure you leave a window open for me so I can get in. I don't want us to be split up."
The mood had perceptibly lightened.
"What makes you think Heaven's got windows?" bantered Margot. "That's not in the catechism!"
"Well, you know, there's that bit where Christ talks about His Father's house having many rooms. How many houses do you know that haven't any windows?"
Then the bell rang. "Come on, race you!" said Margot, and they ran off as if prefectships and seriousness were far in the future.
Author:  Alison H [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's very hard being compared to a sibling whose life is going more the way your family expected than yours is: poor Con. Maybe she'd do better trying to talk to more people outside the family. Margot handled that fairly well, though.
Author:  Mrs Redboots [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good old Margot - and good old Con, for being able to make a joke AND find Biblical justification for it.

I don't know about Catholics, but when I was Evangelical (a little older than Con, but no wiser!), we were taught that Doubt was a Sin. Deep sigh.... a long time later, a much wiser person explained that actually, doubt was the crucible of faith and all Christians worth their salt went through periods of doubt!
Author:  roversgirl [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
i thought that was really well handled by Margot - and i liked the window into Heaven...quite logical really :)
Author:  Mona [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, JellySheep. You're writing Con beautifully
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
JS you are very welcome! :lol: I just hope, should it be necessary, that there is a friend there waiting to drag me in too! :wink:


So nice to see Margot actually supporting Con - she needs that.

Thanks JS.
Author:  Pat [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lesley wrote:
JS you are very welcome! :lol: I just hope, should it be necessary, that there is a friend there waiting to drag me in too! :wink:
.


I think you could rely on at least 2 of us Lesley! :wink:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Glad Margot was so normal about it.
Author:  linda [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
roversgirl wrote:
i thought that was really well handled by Margot - and i liked the window into Heaven...quite logical really :)


Me too!!! I thought Margot, after she had got over her annoyance that Len had known first, was really helpful here. Much better than either of her parents.

Thank you Jellysheep
Author:  Vick [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is really interesting. Thanks
Author:  Elbee [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very good, thanks, Jellysheep.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've just caught up on this from the beginning, and I am so enjoying it. The various responses from those around Con ring very true, and so far she seems to be given the space she needs to address her own doubts. Her parents have at least listened to her and not dismissed her views as foolish or sinful, (although some of their actions, especially with relation to the psychiatrist might not suggest that) and Margot especially made a great effort to understand.

Thank you.
Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, JellySheep. This is such an interesting view of Con and its lovely to see a drabble where she's the main character.
Author:  JellySheep [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for your kind comments people! I'm not sure where Naomi goes after her treatment at the San., but I've decided she will be on tap. Artistic licence, if necessary! And anybody who can tell me a back route into heaven/ put in a good word/ leave a window open, I would be terribly grateful! :wink:

Joey had decided that her efforts to help Con should take a rather gentler approach.
"Con, love, I know it didn't work out with that psychiatrist - though maybe he was right about you not getting the attention you need from us - but perhaps something else might work, like talking to someone nearer your own age, someone who might understand you better. I'm thinking of asking Naomi Elton to tea next weekend so you could have a chat. But I won't do anything you're not comfortable with. If you don't want to, we don't have to."
Con was divided. Part of her shrank from her parents' well-meaning attempts to bring her back onto their path: it seemed that a list of different approaches, represented by different people, were being wheeled out to try and remedy her unbelief. But at the same time she didn't want to seem to be refusing anything that might help, and she was interested to hear anything that could bring her new insight.
She made an effort to smile. "OK, let's try it."
Joey leant across and gave her arm a squeeze. "Good for you, Con! I can't begin to understand what's going on in your mind, but I'm proud of you for trying." Con was moved by this simple little gesture, and immensely relieved, as she had worried so much that her parents would disapprove of her for her loss of faith. "You know that if there's anything we can do to help you, you've just got to ask." Though Con was heartened by this, she wondered whether it would extend to letting her abandon religion.
The next Saturday afternoon, Joey, Con and a table of Anna's best tea and cakes waited a little nervously for Naomi to arrive. Eventually she did, and they made slightly awkward small talk until Naomi decided to cut to the chase.
"Con, your mother told me on the phone you had a problem I might be able to help you with. I'm not sure how good I'll be - it's not really my sort of thing, you know: I've always been rather more on the receiving end of help, and people say I'm not the easiest of people to get on with. Anyway, I'll do my best with whatever it is."
"Would you prefer to be alone to have a chat? I can go and play with the tinies and leave you to it if you like" offered Joey.
Con and Naomi looked questioningly at each other. "No, do stay - you don't have to go" replied Con. Still, Joey thought it best to take a back seat while Con and Naomi talked.
"Well" began Naomi a little self-consciously, "suppose you tell me about your problem. I'm still a bit mystified as to why your mother asked me, of all people, to help."
Con did her best to explain. As she began to run down, Naomi broke in. "I can sort of see why she chose me now. The only thinbg is, I'm afraid I'm not going to be very helpful. You see, though mary-Lou certainly tried to get me to believe in God, in the end I told her that I might in the future to pacify her. I just felt oppressed by her insistent trying to push me towards what she thought I should be. I thought I might lose my temper if it didn't stop."
"I was so relieved Mamma didn't try to get Mary-Lou to talk to me like that" blurted out Con.
"What's wrong with Mary-Lou?" demanded Joey.
"Well - I know she's a great person, but she can be - well, a bit overwhelming, you know." Joey frowned, but left it at that.
Naomi continued. "I did see that it must be nice to have that kind of faith and I did wonder whether it might have made things easier to bear if I had had that to fall back on, but believing doesn't just happen because it would be good for you, or because you ought to, or even because you want to. Faith seems to be a funny thing. Even if you haven't any quarrel with all the arguments for the existence of God, that extra spark that brings it all to life may not ever come, or come back, in your case. I don't know why that is."
"What worries me" said Con timidly, "is that passage in the parable of the talents, where Christ says "From him that hath not, the little that he hath shall be taken away". I'm worried that it's because my faith wasn't good enough that it's gone. After all, I hadn't got anything like the kind of faith that Margot must have, for instance."
Naomi's brow knitted. "I don't pretend to know much about God. But I don't think that I would want to believe in a God who would do something like that to you, and it just doesn't seem to fit with the God of love that people talk about." There was a pause. Joey said nothing.
"You know, Con" mused Naomi, "maybe you should write something about losing your faith. there must be other people out there going through the same thing, and it could be useful to them to know they're not alone. I've heard you're good at writing."
Jo frowned at this. "Naomi, I don't think that's a good idea at all. I don't think Con should be publicising herself like that."
"Are you ashamed of me then?" demanded Con, fixing her mother with a very direct look.
"Well - no, it's not that, it's just that - well, this isn't the sort of thing to go round telling everyone! Besides, what if you influenced people to turn away from God? I hope you're going to keep this to yourself as much as possible, especially around the little ones."
"But Mamma, i wouldn't be saying that it was wrong to believe in God. I think it's the ideal way to live, but whatever iti is in a person that makes them believe is faulty in me. It's like how Naomi can't do some things because of her injuries. Would you object to Naomi writing about trying to deal with her physical difficulties?" Con would not usually argue thus with her mother, but was getting worked up. The lines in Naomi's forehead deepened at the reminder of her handicap and its cause. She made an effort to pull her mind back to the present.
"I don't think it's the same thing at all" responded Joey. "Naomi's injuries were a tragic accident, and it does seem that there's an element of will in turning away from God. Besides, if you publicise yourself like that, you're laying yourself open to condemnation, not only of you but of the rest of us around you. I don't want to see that happen, or you getting hurt."
Naomi had an idea. "What if Con used a pseudonym? That way she could speak out and help people in the same position, but without making anyone vulnerable."
"Hmmm" replied Joey. "I'd really rather Con didn't do anything like this at all, that she made an unobtrusive effort to regain her faith. But if we really can't stop you, then anonymity would be a bit better."
"After all" continued Naomi, "you could always write just for yourself, as an outlet for your feelings; that would probably help you feel better. Then you could wait until some time in the future before thinking about publishing it. In fact, Mrs. Maynard, I think it might even mean that Con could keep up appearances more easily if she has her writing to express her real feelings. Anyway" she said, looking at her watch, "it's probably time I was going. Thanks for the tea, Mrs. Maynard." Looking Con in the eyes, she concluded "Good luck, Con. I hope everything will go well for you, whatever happens."
As they cleared up the tea things, Con was already thinking of ways to frame her feelings in words. She always felt most alive when writing, and the possibility of turning the heartache of the last few weeks into something positive and creative made her feel hopeful. Writing was also something comfortingly familiar amid all the uncertainty, something steadying, and it would enable her to be truly herself, which she had not felt able to do lately. It felt like a little seed of hope.
Author:  roversgirl [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
thank you for a nice and fair portrayal of Joey - it must be difficult for her and Jack as religion is so important to them. thanks :)
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
A very interesting session - and yes, it was good to see Joey managing for the most part, to keep her own feelings out of things. But Naomi's suggestion that Con write about what she is going through is a real brainwave - as we see by the end of this episode, just the very idea has given Con a 'comfort zone' within which to work.

Thanks, JellySheep.
Author:  MaryR [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
it does seem that there's an element of will in turning away from God

Not usually, Jo. There's an element of will in not praying, or rather lack of will, and prayer is one of the things that keeps one close to God. . But Con isn't turning away from God. How can you turn away from something in which you no longer believe?

Poor Naomi, being dropped on like that. :cry:
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
I still got the impression, however, that Joey feels that Con's loss of faith was something to be ashamed of - that it would reflect badly on the Maynard name if people knew of it. Also the idea that reading about Con's experience could turn others away? If someone's faith is so weak as to be influenced in that way it's hardly worth calling it such.


Thanks JS
Author:  Luisa [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quite agree, Lesley. It reminds me of the time I was blacklisted by the Christian Union at a (nameless) University because my habit of questioning everything threatened their faith.
Author:  Tara [ Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I'm worried that it's because my faith wasn't good enough that it's gone.
(((Con))) I so agree with Naomi's response to that.
I was impressed that Jo managed to keep so quiet and I did sort of understand her point - I've always avoided discussion of my 'loss of faith' like the plague, I'd hate to contaminate anyone else! It obviously feels like a contamination to Jo, as well. Naomi's suggestion about the writing is just what Con needs, and the road to being herself again, whatever that is.

Just to say I thought Margot and Con were lovely together in the last post, Con willing to be vulnerable and Margot responding with understanding and acceptance - and I loved the windows!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:53 am ]
Post subject: 
I like the idea of Con writing about how she feels about her faith or her lack thereof. Thanks JS
Author:  Alison H [ Sat Jan 26, 2008 9:06 am ]
Post subject: 
So glad that Joey went to Naomi and not Mary-Lou.
Author:  Carolyn P [ Sat Jan 26, 2008 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm glad of that too, and glad that Naomi and Con could recognise each other's feeling on that.

Writing things down would be great for Con whether for publication or not.
Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just found this, is it finished or will there be more? I'd love to see what comes next - I'm reading this at a particularly apt time for me.
Author:  JellySheep [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had intended it to finish there, as, when a crisis settles, even though it has long-lasting effects, there doesn't seem to be as much to say any more. But if anybody has ideas for continuation, go ahead!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Would love to read more so am sending more bunny food to you. Chocolate help??
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