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Charlotte in the dark
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4250

Author:  JellySheep [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Charlotte in the dark

Charlotte Mueller couldn't think what was happening to her. nothing obvious was wrong, like an illness, argument or bad news from home, but somehow the bottom seemed to have dropped out of her world. She had felt less than her best for a while, but she had, when she thought about it, supposed that it would pass before long. Gradually, however, it had escalated into this distress. She couldn't think: her mind was full of something black and amorphous, and it seemed that she could not possibly live much longer like this. For a week or so she had managed to keep up a front of normality: indeed, it surprised her how her inside and her outside had become disconnected, and she was somehow continuing to work and talk like anyone else, though when she was alone she had taken to letting the facade drop and crying herself to sleep. She had never been a particularly chatty or frivolous person, so the difference in her behaviour was not especially marked.
Part of her wished that she could find some help from somewhere. But there were two obstacles: firstly, it felt as if there were a physical barrier holding her back from speaking about what was wrong, and she couldn't find the words to express the problem - besides, she was naturally reticent and worried that people would think she was just being silly; secondly, it seemed that nothing anyone could do could really help.
She didn't know what to do: it felt as if she must be dying, but a little voice in her mind told her that people only died of sadness in antiquated novels. She tried to push that thought away so she could survive from day to day by thinking that she only needed to live for a shorter and more manageable time.

As VIb sat listening to Miss Charlesworth explaining the economic underpinnings of the beginnings of the British Empire, Charlotte couldn't concentrate: somehow history didn't seem to matter. Everything seemed so far away, and her mind was filled with a stifling nebulous misery. She couldn't seem to reach any of the pleasant thoughts that usually inhabit the mind.
Rosemary Charlesworth happened to glance in Charlotte's direction as, despite blinking and lip-biting, silent tears began to dribble down her face. The mistress wasn't sure what would be the best course of action: suggesting Charlotte might like some time away from the lesson would draw attention to her and potentially embarrass her, so she decided to keep the lesson going and try to prevent attention moving towards her weeping pupil. After the lesson, she promised her conscience, she would ask Charlotte what was wrong.
Half an hour later, as the class filed out, Miss Charlesworth touched Charlotte lightly on the arm.
"Charlotte - ist dir etwas los? Kann ich dir helfen?" She had guessed that addressing the girl in her own language might put her a little more at her ease.
Charlotte twisted her hands. "Ich weiss nicht. Ich bin einfach so traurig!"
"Can you tell me why?"
"I don't know. It's just - like a blanket of sadness, it's hard to describe. If I knew what was wrong I might be able to do something about it, but I can't."
"How long have you been feeling like this?"
"Well, it's been building up over the last few weeks. I was feeling down but it wasn't out of control. But in the last few days there have been patches of feeling really unbearable."
Miss Charlesworth frowned. Sadness without any ostensible cause seemed difficult to address, but something had to be done.

Author:  RroseSelavy [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:09 pm ]
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Ooh, very interesting - just how will the CS cope with this?

Thanks, JellySheep. I was particularly struck by your description of Charlotte's feelings in the first paragraph.

Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:01 pm ]
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Thanks, JellySheep. Really looking forward to seeing how this develops.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:27 pm ]
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Thanks JellySheep. Interesting start - looking forward to more.

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:39 pm ]
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Thanks Jellysheep, looking forward to more, when is it set?

Author:  roversgirl [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:13 pm ]
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Interesting start... thank you :)

Author:  linda [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:57 pm ]
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This looks really interesting.

Thank you Jellysheep

Author:  Mona [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:40 am ]
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Thanks Jellysheep, this looks really interesting

Author:  Shander [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:05 pm ]
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Thanks JellySheep.
This looks excellent, and it's nice to see the topic addressed.

Author:  Ruth B [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:21 pm ]
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Thanks Jellysheep - a very accurate description of how depression can feel. I'll be interested to see how the CS cope.

Author:  janetbrown23 [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:24 pm ]
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As RuthB says this is a very accurate description as I know only too well. I will be most interested to see how it all progresses, somehow I can't see the powers that be being terribly sympathetic to a depressive. I can imagine "spineless jellyfish" and "snap out of it" being a couple of the comments.

Jan

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:08 am ]
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Thanks Jellysheep. Am glad Miss Charlesworth noticed and cared enough to ask

Author:  JellySheep [ Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:07 pm ]
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"I have a free lesson after break. if you go and wash your face, I'll go and speak to whoever teaches your next lesson. After all, I don't think you're in any condition to take much in at the moment. Meet me back here just before the end of break."
...
"Are you worrying about your A-levels? Could that be why you're feeling like this?" wondered Miss Charlesworth.
"No- I-I can't see that far ahead. I can't see myself surviving that long."
Miss Charlesworth gasped. This was worse than she had anticipated. What could she do or say that would reach Charlotte? Slightly self-consciously, she reached out to put her arm around the girl, who rested her head on the mistress's shoulder.
Though the pain had not gone away, as she leaned against Miss Charlesworth, she experienced an un-looked-for moment of grace, of light in the midst of the darkness. She could not have explained why it worked as it did, but she felt something approaching the joy which had of late been absent from her life.
Suddenly the bell rang, and both mistress and pupil jumped at its summons.
"Will you be all right for the moment?" enquired Miss Charlesworth. "I think it would be a good idea for you to see Matron, and perhaps a doctor. I don't really know anything about this sort of thing, but it must be worth a try. And if you need a hand in the meantime, you can always come and find me."
She was rewarded with a slightly shaky smile from Charlotte as they went their respective ways, Charlotte in the direction of Matron's room and Miss Charlesworth to her next class.
Charlotte couldn't think why she felt so much lighter in spirit after her encounter with the history mistress, but she knew that she did. Part of the benefit was the fact that she now had a positive memory from the recent past with which to fill her mind - her older recollections had seemed too far away to be of any help.
The visit to Matey was not as traumatic as Charlotte had anticipated: the school's domestic tyrant might be a brisk, no-nonsense character, but she did know from her experience of bereavement what it was like to fall apart. She knew that now was not the moment for talk of pulling oneself together, or of spineless jellyfish. An appointment with the doctor was arranged, and this resulted in Matey being provided with some boxes of tablets and instructions on how they were to be administered, and the recommendation that Charlotte was to be spared as far as possible anything that might upset her.

Author:  Fi [ Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:18 pm ]
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Miss Charlesworth was lovely there. It's good that the school and doctors are being understanding and taking action.

Wibbling slightly about what tablets Charlotte has been given. I hope there are no unwanted side effects or addiction.

Thanks JellySheep.

Author:  Alison H [ Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:44 pm ]
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Also wibbling a bit - they seemed very quick to dole out tablets there - but glad that Matey was supportive.

Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:01 pm ]
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Glad they decided to treat so promptly. Hope they keep up the quick responses and monitor her her and give her the support she needs.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:49 am ]
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Also glad they were all supportive. Miss Charlesworth and Matey were lovely there

Author:  Mona [ Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:56 am ]
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Glad they're treating Charlotte promptly, although a bit concerned about how quickly they prescribed medication.

Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:16 pm ]
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Glad that Charlotte has found some support.

Author:  roversgirl [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:52 pm ]
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Nice to see them dealing with it sensibly - no doses or "spineless jellyfish" talk. Thanks :)

Author:  JellySheep [ Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:30 pm ]
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The bubble of calm which had surrounded Charlotte for the last few days could not last for ever, and it was a tiny incident which caused it to burst. On Sunday morning, she woke early. Despite all her efforts, getting back to sleep proved impossible, and without anything to occupy her mind, she felt the miasma of depression creeping up. She cast wildly about for something to fill the empty time, and lighted on a book of poetry that she kept by her bed. This she expected to absorb her, requiring her attention in order to appreciate the poems fully. However, some malign chance caused the book to open at a particular place. It was as if some misbegotten creature of darkness had sprung from its hiding place between the pages and seized her. The book dropped to the floor and she curled into a little ball of despair as all the feelings she thought she had pushed away came flooding back. It was all she could do to keep from crying out, inarticulately, like a creature in pain. For a long moment outside time, she saw nothing. Then, as part of her mind regained clarity of thought, she stood up and set off as quietly as she could in search of help.
Rosemary Charlesworth was fast asleep and in the middle of a pleasurable dream when the knocking at her door began to register in her mind. She groaned and hauled herself out of bed, grimacing when she saw the time on her alarm clock.
The sight which met her on opening the door shocked her awake: Charlotte looked so distressed that she seemed on the brink of collapse. Miss Charlesworth decided not to take her pupil to task for being out of bed and invading the staff quarters, instead guiding her to the armchair and pouring her a glass of water. Charlotte seemed to have lost the power of speech, even in German, so the mistress simply sat beside the distraught girl, murmuring what she hoped were reassuring words, until Charlotte seemed more capable of explaining what was wrong.

Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:51 pm ]
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Quote:
the mistress simply sat beside the distraught girl, murmuring what she hoped were reassuring words, until Charlotte seemed more capable of explaining what was wrong.


I am glad Charlotte had the sense to seek help and that it was given.

Author:  crystaltips [ Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:09 pm ]
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Verry distressing. Poor Charlotte! I hope Miss Charlesworth can help her.

Thanks JellySheep

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:49 am ]
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Am so glad she knew she could go to Miss Charlesworth at any time and ask for help. She was lovely there

Author:  JellySheep [ Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:40 pm ]
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With time, the tablets which Matron gave Charlotte each morning began to take effect. The nebulous blackness retreated some way, so Charlotte was able to concentrate better on lessons and leisure activities, but it was not altogether banished. There were still moments when she was swamped by it, and, besides, the damage had been done: depression had, it seemed, caused scales to fall from Charlotte's eyes which could not be put back in. It had made all her beliefs and comforts seem empty and ineffectual, and she knew what it was like to look over the edge of existence. it seemed as if a great wind had blown through her life and swept everything away, and she still wondered why she stayed alive. Though these questions were not in themselves depression, she could not free herself from them, and when they beset her, the blackness was not far behind.
Through all this she held up like a talisman her mental image of Miss Charlesworth. The thought that the mistress was there to light up the darkness gave her strength and something pleasant to think about. Whenever she felt the pressure on her mind begin to grow, if it were a reasonable hour, she would go and seek out her mentor to try and halve the problem by sharing it, even though what was troubling her was not always expressible in words. If that were not possible, she would write down what was in her mind and slip it under the mistress's door or hand it in at the staff room. To some extent the answer did not matter - getting her feelings out of her head and sending them away with the paper was in itself a relief.

Author:  Fi [ Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:23 pm ]
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I am really enjoying this JellySheep. I always felt that Miss Charlesworth was rather passed over in the books and it is nice to see her taking on a real persona.

I'm glad Charlotte is starting to feel better and that she has found some coping mechanisms for her depression.

Still wibbling about those tablets though.

Thank You

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:38 am ]
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JellySheep wrote:
To some extent the answer did not matter - getting her feelings out of her head and sending them away with the paper was in itself a relief.


That is very telling - is Miss Charlesworth going to be able to handle being relied on so much, though?

*wibbles*

Author:  MaryR [ Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:35 pm ]
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Thank you, Jellysheep. Miss Charlesworth is a real rock.

Author:  JellySheep [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:29 pm ]
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I think the tablets are tricyclics - sometimes have side effects but better than things previously used

While these actions were beneficial to Charlotte, Miss Charlesworth wished they would stop. The mistress wished she knew what to do for her pupil, who was obviously suffering. But at the same time she wished that she were not the one to whom Charlotte decided to turn - it seemed that she were being made responsible for Charlotte, and she was far from convinced that she could do anything effective. It seemed to her that being clung to by Charlotte was draining her, pulling her under, and she wished that there were someone more skilled who could take the burden from her. She felt that she was being pursued by her pupil, and, though she knew that it was uncharitable, she wanted to be free of her. She began to dread seeing Charlotte, or the sight of paper under her door, and her nerves began to fray. She became conscious of the other mistresses, even the School at large, becoming aware of what was going on, especially when Charlotte, aware of the debt she owed the history mistress and keen to show how much she appreciated her help, began to leave token gifts: little bunches of flowers, sweets from her allowance. She felt embarrassed, and wanted to be able to assure them that there was nothing untoward about it, wanted to be able to tell someone about the effect it was having on her, but felt she would be breaking Charlotte's confidence.

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:43 pm ]
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Some one needs to check on Miss Charlesworth, even experienced counsellors have to have someone to talk cases through with. And why are the doctors not talking to Charlotte as well, just the tablets are not enough and I thought that was known in the sixties, which I take it is when this is set.

Author:  Alison H [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:08 pm ]
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She's in an awkward position here - it's very hard being someone's sole confidante.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:47 am ]
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Poor Miss Charlesworth. It's very hard being the sole support person with no one to talk to about it, especially when you know the other person needs you so badly

Author:  JellySheep [ Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:42 pm ]
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One day, Miss Charlesworth could stand it no longer. "Charlotte, this has to stop. Either that, or one of us will have to leave the School. I don't mean to be brutal, but there's no way round it. I can't cope, and the rest of the School are noticing. I wanted to help you, but I really can't give you what you seem to want. That kind of relationship isn't allowed, because it would seem like favouritism. So I have to lay down the law: no quiet chats, no notes, no sweets. After all, you'll have to learn to get on without me sooner or later. Surely there must be someone more appropriate you could go to? What about your family, or your friends?"
Charlotte suddenly turned away without a word and took to her heels, out of the building, through the gardens, in search of somewhere, anywhere, where she could disappear, become nothing. It felt as if the world had come crashing down around her ears and she could barely breathe, let alone think straight. As she lay huddled under a bush, her mind, exhausted by the devastation it had just undergone, shut down and she drifted in and out of sleep.
Eventually she roused, unsure where she was, what she was doing there or how long she had been there. There was a moment's suspension, and then memory slammed into place and she knew. Not only had she lost her source of strength and hope, but she herself had caused this to happen. It was her own stupid fault for not having had enough restraint. It seemed, just to make it worse, that she had done something beyond stupid, something morally wrong, putting Miss Charlesworth in an impossible position. The thought of trying to continue without that rock to lean on seemed inconceivable: she thought she could never survive without an outlet for her feelings and the positive fondness she felt for her. She wished she could stay where she was until she expired of hunger or exposure.
Voices. Footsteps. The sound of branches moving. Realisation swam into Charlotte's mind that people were looking for her, and no sooner had that thought taken shape than a face appeared between the leaves and a voice said:
"Charlotte! What are you doing under there? Come on, we've been looking for ages - you've missed Kaffee!" Cahrlotte had to let herself be pulled out from under the bush, helped to her feet and led back in the direction of the school buildings.
...
Charlotte didn't know what to do. Now that she no longer had the possibility of opening her heart to Miss Charlesworth, it felt as if she were being forced to keep a lid on her emotions, and no longer having support meant that life felt precarious. Filled with shame for the way she had behaved, she tried to enclose herself in a facade of impassivity, and to immerse herself in her school work to try and suppress the bewildering mess of her emotions, a mixture of despair, loss and guilt. It seemed a superhuman effort not to fall back on Miss Charlesworth, but she knew that she must not. Instead she bought and filled notebooks with everything that she wished she could say to her.
Following her outburst, Rosemary Charlesworth could not keep herself from feeling guilty about abandoning Charlotte. The Gospel passage about caring for Christ in the guise of one's brethren kept recurring insistently, and she found that she felt no relief at being free of her pupil's attentions. She decided to wait for a few days in the hope that, as she calmed down, it would become clear what she should do.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:48 pm ]
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Poor Charlotte. Can understand why Miss Charlesworth felt and spoke the way she did. I guess my thought was wouldn't it have been better for Miss Charleworth to ask if Charlotte minded if she spoke to someone else and got support so she could continue to support Charlotte through this.

Thanks Jellysheep

Author:  Joan the Dwarf [ Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:12 pm ]
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The child is at boarding school - who else is she going to turn to? And couldn't Miss Charlesworth at least have managed to be kind about it? What a dreadful word to use: "inappropriate". *hugs Charlotte*

Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:44 pm ]
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Why are the Medical staff not giving her any support, tabkets alone are not sufficent. If San do not have the expertise surely they know doctors who could help? Leaving it to the school is not good practice.

Author:  JellySheep [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:16 am ]
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Hilda Annersley had been watching the situation and, though nobody knew the full story of the interaction between Rosemary Charlesworth and Charlotte except the two protagonists, she had noticed that the history mistress seemed rather harried. The following Thursday she was discussing Charlotte's progress, as she did weekly, with Miss Derwent, her form mistress. She had initially decided to refrain from direct intervention in case it made Charlotte feel interrogated, intimidated or intruded upon.
In previous meetings, she had gleaned that Miss Charlesworth was looking after Charlotte, and today she enquired as to how that was progressing.
Ruth Derwent's brow furrowed. "I don't quite know what's going on there. Charlotte was appearing day in, day out at the staff room door, and now she seems to have vanished. I see her in form, of course, and she seems quite composed, but sometimes, from some angles, she does look strained. When I ask she always says she's all right, and I have to take her at her word.
"Of course. But I do wonder whether something has gone wrong. I think I'll have to talk to Rosemary and see if she can throw any light on this."

Miss Charlesworth was in a quandary when faced with direct questioning by the Headmistress. On the one hand, she felt she would be exposing Charlotte's secrets by telling someone else about them, but, on the other, perhaps Miss Annersley would be able to steer Charlotte towards the kind of help she needed. More personally, she was afraid of how her part in the matter would be seen, yet explaining might lead to the burden being lightened.
"I told her she had to stop bombarding me - I just couldn't cope with it. I suppose perhaps that was too drastic, that we should have made some kind of compromise, but at that moment I just had to get myself clear. I didn't really know what to do, and it had got to the point where I wasn't really lucid. Maybe it was silly of me, but I felt she was pursuing me, that I was trapped and had to escape by any means. I said more than I meant to, once I started it all came tumbling out and it must have sounded dreadfully harsh."
Hilda Annersley sighed, then reached over and patted the hand of the history mistress.
"My dear Rosemary, why didn't you bring this to me, or to someone else, before it got to that point? I could have tried to help you both. I just hope that this hasn't hurt both of you needlessly."
"I did wish I could do something like that, but I did feel that maybe Charlotte would see it as a betrayal, breaking her confidence and bringing her in for embarrassment and guilt if you had to be official about it. I suppose I was still thinking in terms of telling tales."
"Well, I'm not going to preach to you - I think you've realised the necessity for you to turn to others for help in order to help Charlotte in her turn. i think the most important thing for us to do is to sort out this problem. I'll just send for Charlotte and we can see what we can come up with."
She suited the action to the words and, a little later, Charlotte appeared in he study, bobbing her regulation curtsey to the Head.
"Charlotte, come and sit down" said Miss Annersley pleasantly in German. "You're not in any trouble, so you mustn't worry. We're just having a little discussion as to what would be the best way to look after you, so we've asked you to come and take part."
Charlotte had indeed been worried: when she had seen Miss Charlesworth sitting with the Head, she had leapt to anticipating a disaster scenario, one in which the mistresses thought she had done something really wrong and were about to pronounce sentence.
"Now, Miss Charlesworth does genuinely want to help you, but there are limits to her ability to cope. What we need to do is find a way of balancing both of your needs: yours for a confidante and hers for breathing space. After all, she isn't trained for this sort of thing and we don't want her to buckle under the weight of it. That's what happened last week - she said more than she intended because she felt strained."
"That's right - I shouldn't have said some of what I did, and I'm sorry for upsetting you. I lost my grip, and it's not that it's your fault, it's just that I find it difficult to deal with. I hope we'll sort something out."
"A good place to begin" continued Miss Annersley, " is probably to ask you what it is you think you need - that may not be the same as what you want. Then we can try and work out how to provide it."
"I suppose - well - what I need is someone I can tell when the sadness builds up. It's such a relief to get those thoughts out of my head, so they aren't buzzing around getting louder and louder."
"Yes, I can understand that. Perhaps it's a question of degree, of sorting thoughts into those which really need someone else to draw their sting and those which can be saved for later, written down in a diary, or turned into pictures or stories. Do you have a diary?"
"I would also suggest" took over Miss Charlesworth, "setting aside a time each week when we could talk, and sticking just to that time unless, of course, a real emergency were to arise. Do you think you could manage that?"
Charlotte nodded mutely. It seemed that she had no alternative but to agree. However nice the mistresses might be about this, it still felt as if the subtext were that she had been behaving unacceptably, and this thought made her miserable.
Miss Charlesworth reached out and squeezed her hand. "Good for you, Charlotte; you're being very mature about this."
"The other possibility" put in Miss Annersley, "is psychological help of some sort, from someone who's trained in handling problems of this kind. of course, that could be expensive, so we will have to wait for your parents' approval before taking that kind of action."
So it was agreed. Charlotte tried not to show that she really wanted more from Miss Charlesworth, as she didn't want to lose everything again. She found that having a set time for talking things over didn't really fit with the ebb and flow of her spirits: sometimes she needed help at times when it wasn't available, while their meetings sometimes came at points when she felt quite calm. At these moments she was divided between voicing thoughts which were not strong at the time, which felt fraudulent but might bring her some useful words to remember later, and saying nothing, which left her with an obscure feeling of frustration.

Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:17 pm ]
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Poor Charlotte. What a difficult situation.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:43 pm ]
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Poor Charlotte - feeling really sorry for her - all this well-meaning stuff isn't what she really needs :(

Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:18 pm ]
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Quote:
"The other possibility" put in Miss Annersley, "is psychological help of some sort, from someone who's trained in handling problems of this kind. of course, that could be expensive, so we will have to wait for your parents' approval before taking that kind of action."


I hope Hilda is going to seek advice and permission to do this Charlotte needs help now and it is more than the School can be expected to arrange,

Author:  Alison H [ Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:35 pm ]
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Hilda must have been called on to deal with some very difficult things as a boarding school headmistress. We don't really see much of it in the CS books (except after Naomi's accident, and when Madge has to tell Juliet about her parents) but I'm just remembering the scenes in Goodbye Mr Chips in which Mr C as headmaster has to tell some of the boys that their fathers or elder brothers have been killed in the First World War.

She really needs to contact Charlotte's parents.

Thanks JellySheep - this is very interesting.

Author:  JellySheep [ Thu May 01, 2008 1:42 pm ]
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For her part, Rosemary Charlesworth felt much relieved. She had both the breathing space she needed and an easier conscience because she was doing something to help. She wished she could answer all the questions Charlotte raised, but at the same time there was a small element of gladness that it was clear that she was neither all-knowing nor all-powerful. Some questions, she told Charlotte, simply could not be answered with any surety: minds were strange and behaved in inexplicable, unpredictable ways.
A week or so later, Miss Annersley received the necessary reply from Herr and Frau Mueller authorising her to make arrangements for Charlotte to have a series of sessions with a psychologist whose name she had found through the Sanatorium. This eased matters greatly for both Charlotte and Miss Charlesworth, as it meant that Charlotte was not relying solely on the mistress for help, and she could also be sure that she was in the care of an expert rather than an amateur, however well-meaning, and one who could be relied upon to respond level-headedly. However, the deep attachment to the history mistress still remained, even though she now knew that Miss Charlesworth was by no means perfect as a confidante, because, helpful though he was, the psychologist could seem impersonal rather than a friend.
As the term wore on towards the holidays, Charlotte wondered what would happen in the future. She knew that, though, to some extent, depression itself might have subsided, it had caused lasting damage that could probably not be mended. The holidays, and, further away, life after leaving school, posed a challenge: would she be able to cope on her own?
On breaking-up day, as the School divided into groups to set off in different directions across Europe, Miss Charlesworth, who was to accompany the British contingent, caught Charlotte's arm.
"Charlotte - I've got something for you. Here you are." The mistress held out a thin, flexible package. "Gosh! I'd better get a move on. Look, Charlotte, I hope the holidays will be all right for you. Let me know how you get on."
Later, in the train heading towards Germany, Charlotte fished out her parcel and, in a quiet moment, opened it. Inside was a set of airmail writing paper and envelopes and some German stamps. A tiny not tucked in with the stationery read: "Feel free to write if you need to. This is my address..." Charlotte felt her heart lift, as it felt as if she had been given a safety net. It might not make her tightrope any broader, but it made her less afraid to walk it.

The end

Author:  Mona [ Thu May 01, 2008 1:54 pm ]
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Thanks JellySheep. Very thought provoking.

Author:  PaulineS [ Thu May 01, 2008 3:56 pm ]
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Thanks Jellysheep. I am glad they got proffessional help and it worked.

Author:  Alison H [ Thu May 01, 2008 4:57 pm ]
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Thanks JellySheep.

Author:  leahbelle [ Thu May 01, 2008 5:18 pm ]
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Thanks, JellySheep. That was a lovely thing for Miss Charlesworth to do.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu May 01, 2008 5:59 pm ]
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Thanks JellySheep. Glad Miss Charlesworth came good in the end

Author:  Emma A [ Thu May 01, 2008 6:36 pm ]
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That was really beautiful and thought-provoking. Thank-you.

Author:  MaryR [ Thu May 01, 2008 7:40 pm ]
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They all did the very best they could for her, according to their capabilities.

Thanks, Jellysheep.

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