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Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=7965
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Thank you for the nice comments about Madame - it made coming home a little easier to bear. I had a little thought this morning at quarter to 6 (yes I know but I'm still on Crete time!). I was going to add it on as an epilogue as I think it's only going to be a few posts, but .....

"Did I ever tell you how your father and I got engaged?” queried Joey Maynard who had just emerged from a refreshing nap in time to welcome her eldest daughter - Len – or as she had been known for the past few years Helena Entwistle – a marriage which although planned since her seventeenth birthday – had in fact only finally taken place nearly forty years later. Len had left the Gornetz Platz for Oxford, fully planning to return after graduating and marry Reg. However, she had quickly discovered a decided bent for academia, and took to “rocking and rolling” with enthusiasm, if little discrimination. Thankfully the excellent grounding at the Chalet School had enabled her to graduate with a Lower Second, although had the final examinations investigated her knowledge of anatomy instead of French Medieval literature, it is more than likely she would have been a easy First.

Whilst her parents and Reg expected her immediate return and subsequent marriage, Len decided instead to continue exploring her academic interests and with very little regret broke off her engagement. Reg – broken hearted for a minute or two – subsequently used up his life savings visiting Briesau’s Best Brothel – an establishment which had also – like the Chalet School itself – celebrated its own “Coming of Age” (the term possibly held rather more meaning for the brothel than the school). So thorough was the education he received there, and so well did he execute the lessons the ladies had taught him, that soon every woman on the Platz was more than keen to wet that particular whistle.

Despite having a successful career at the fringes of Oxford’s academic circle, Len was never able to completely shake off the role of responsible elder daughter and had reluctantly decided that her mother’s increasing frailty warranted her return. She had anticipated a life of stifling boredom, but quickly discovered that the old spark between her and Reg was still there. Both recognising kindred spirits they proceeded to poke the old fire into blazing life once more, and had quickly decided that their respective futures did in fact lie together. They married over her mother’s hospital bed, and had proceeded to throw logs on the fire at every possible opportunity ever since. Talking of which - she really had to buy some more baby oil - not to mention rubber gloves...

As the querulous question broke through her abstracted reverie, she shook her head with some impatience at her mother's words. Oh for goodness sake, was her mind going at last? How many times had the family heard how they had gone to hide the Peace League and Robin and Hilary had got lost trying to escape from a German spy, how Joey had collapsed into Jack’s arms under the strain and as he held her tightly, she had recognised that she loved him and they became engaged that very night.

“Yes mama, you’ve told us many times. How romantic it must have been!” Len spoke soothingly to her mother, anxious not to alarm her about her apparent lapse of memory.

“No – not that fairy tale! I mean what really happened?” Joey tone was impatient – but she was forced to wait a while longer for her daughter’s response for Len’s jaw had dropped – a pose that was not only extremely unattractive as it tended to result in an unseemly display of oral flotsam and jetsam– but was also not conducive to speech – well intelligible speech at any rate.
Author:  JS [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Oh dear - I've a feeling this will be a little less romantic (but probably much funnier).

Welcome back, Abbeygirl :)
Author:  JB [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Thanks, abbeygirl. Perfect Friday afternoon procrastination.
Author:  Mona [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Looking forward to hearing the non-fairytale version! :D
Author:  cal562301 [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Mona wrote:
Looking forward to hearing the non-fairytale version! :D



Me too. More please and preferably soon! :D
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Looking forward to more!
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
abbeygirl wrote:
“No – not that fairy tale! I mean what really happened?”



Love that! :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jun 05, 2010 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Welcome back Abbeygirl. I can't wait to hear the real story
Author:  Abi [ Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Excellent - dying to find out what really happened!
Author:  Miss Di [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 6:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Oh yes please.


Settles down on the visitors chair near Joey's bed.
Author:  jmc [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 11:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Excellent. Looking forward to the real story.

Tanks abbeygirl
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 1:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
What a future for Len! Thanks, I can't wait to hear what really happened!
Author:  shesings [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
More please! :D
Author:  shazwales [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
This looks fun! Thanks abbeygirl.
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
More please, love it! :D
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort
Forgot to check the name of the doctor who chases Joey??? I'll edit if wrong!!!

Although it was now several years since Joey Bettany had left the Chalet School, she remained in no hurry to grow up. Throughout her life she had resisted the idea of adulthood, with all its attendant responsibilities and obligations, and, despite living in a country which traditionally saw its women married at a comparatively early age – some of her own best friends included – Joey showed no signs that she was either ready for, or even interested in, such a step.

And there was a further problem to be overcome, before Joey could embark on any sort of relationship – she had something of a problem with sex. The damage to her psyche dated from her childhood. An elderly governess had been flung into confusion by the younger Miss Bettany enquiring about the origin of babies, and had responded by using the traditional birds and bees analogy. This would have been fine, but advancing years had scattered quite a few of her marbles, and she had brought a number of alternative animals of varying size and ferocity into her lengthy and somewhat convoluted explanation. To say that Miss Joey was confused by the end, was to embark on the PhD of understatement. She was very little the wiser as to how men and women managed to reproduce, but she knew one thing – she was never going near anything larger than an ant for the foreseeable future. Her sister had been puzzled by Joey’s reaction to the suggestion they should introduce a pet into the household, but had been seriously alarmed by Joey's prolonged bout of hysterics at her suggestion that they might go to the Zoo as a treat.

Although Madge had managed to get to the root of the problem and had explained rather more clearly the exact process, Joey had not fancied the sound of that much either. Sounded both messy and painful if you asked her, and not something she fancied trying, thank you very much! Instead she retreated to the innocent world of books, where only the very chastest of kisses was permitted to intrude. Thus reassured she managed to put the whole distasteful business out of her mind.

And Joey managed to retain this innocence until the arrival of Dr Forrest at the San. He took one look at Miss Josephine Bettany and knew that she was destined to be his. Joey was horrified, but good manners made it difficult for her to choke him off effectively. Dr Jack – who had known Joey since her teenage years and had patiently waited for her to grow up – was furious at the newcomer’s attempt to muscle in on his turf, but he too was constrained by the circumstances. All he could do was grind his teeth and wait for his opportunity.

It came at last when Joey, thinking she heard Dr Forrest’s voice in the corridor ahead, decided she was just not up to having her hand squeezed today, and slipped into a little side room. Unfortunately she had miscalculated badly as instead of being in the corridor, Dr Forrest was in fact in the same room. His ardour had risen at the sight of his beloved, and before she could react, he had moved towards her, crying joyfully!

“Joey! My syringe and test tube are filled and ready to plunge! We will make beautiful babies together!”

Having something of a phobia about needles, the idea of Dr Forrest approaching her with his well filled syringe, caused Joey to hyperventilate wildly before falling unconscious to the floor. There she lay, pale, grey and to all appearances dead!

It was at this inauspicious moment that Dr Maynard, desperate to catch a glimpse of his beloved before she left the San, opened the door. He saw Dr Forest bent over an unconscious Joey, trousers down by his ankles, his plunger exposed, and he saw red. With a roar of “You filthy brute!” he charged towards the unfortunate man, and with one blow knocked him to the ground, where he too lay still.

It was this scene of ostensible carnage that met Madge Bettany’s horrified gaze, when she herself came looking for Jo, to tell her that Jem was waiting to run her back to Die Rosen.
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
I take it Jack and Joey are fully dressed!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Mona [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
:rofl: :rofl:
Author:  JS [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
Quote:
He saw Dr Forest bent over an unconscious Joey, trousers down by his ankles, his plunger exposed, and he saw red.


Well that would be the usual colour.....

Thanks Abbeygirl
Author:  La Petite Em [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
This is very funny :D !! Thank-you Abbeygirl.
Author:  Emma A [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
I do love the metaphors you employ when describing sex, abbeygirl! :D

Thanks for more of this.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 4:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
JS wrote:
Quote:
He saw Dr Forest bent over an unconscious Joey, trousers down by his ankles, his plunger exposed, and he saw red.


Well that would be the usual colour.....

Thanks Abbeygirl


:lol: :lol: :lol: This drabble is hilarious - as are the comments! Thanks for the update.
Author:  sealpuppy [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
:D :D :D :D :D
Author:  brie [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
ROFL
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 7:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
Love it! :lol:

Think the Doctor's name was Hunter - but that might have been in a fill-in.
Author:  Abi [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ah, laughter is good for the soul!!
Author:  Miss Di [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
How do you think of it?!
Author:  jmc [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 11:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
:lol: :lol: Perfect reading after a long stressful day at work. Love it! Thanks abbeygirl
Author:  abbeygirl [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
Hmm... this was only going to be a few posts I seem to recall.... Have left it as Dr Forest as name not in canon (I am reliably informed...)

It was decided that it would be best if Joey were removed from the scene for a while. Joey had –fortunately – fainted before the full evidence of Dr Forest’s rampant passion for her had been revealed, and no one had really fancied taking on the task of explaining it to her. However, despite his current lopsided appearance as the result of the unexpected meeting with Dr Jack’s fist, Dr Forest’s passions continued to be inflamed by the sight of Miss Bettany, and it would clearly not be long before he attempted a second assault on her virtue. It was clear then, that temptation must be removed and although Dr Jack fiercely argued in favour of simply taking Dr Forest and dropping him down the Dripping Rock - it was eventually agreed that there would be rather less scandal if Joey were simply to depart on a long planned visit to Dick in India, thus placing her beyond Dr Forest’s importuning. Then, his once his contract had expired, it would not be renewed, and he would perforce return to England, placing him firmly out of harm’s way.

Joey herself was thrilled at the prospect of the trip, particularly as it was to be taken in company with the Robin, her beloved adopted sister, and as Dr Jack had managed to dose the unsuspecting Dr Forest with a pint of bromide at a staff cocktail party, the latter proved to have no further interest in ploughing her particular furrow. Thus Joey departed the Tyrol, her particular field unexpurgated and supremely unaware of the events that had led to her departure.


*****
Madge Bettany had had some reservations about her sister’s visit to India, remembering only too clearly some of the less traditional aspects of the education she had received there. Given Joey’s existing hangups in that department anyway, Madge felt there may well prove to be trouble ahead. Then she had taken herself firmly in hand. How silly to worry about that sort of thing! After all, look how horrified Dick had been at her plans to open a brothel! No Joey would be safe from anything like that, and would undoubtedly come back as innocent and unworldly as she had left. And Madge thought no more about the trip, apart from to wonder if Joey had packed sufficient vests.

But what Madge had forgotten was that Mollie Bettany was herself a product of the Indian educational system. Upon her marriage (and if truth be told somewhat before that happy day) she had proceeded to expand Dick’s horizons in more ways than one. Their social circle was extensive, extremely active, very uninhibited, and consequently more than happy to admit two young, attractive girls into its folds.
Author:  Chatelaine [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/6
abbeygirl wrote:
Their social circle was extensive, extremely active, very uninhibited, and consequently more than happy to admit two young, attractive girls into its folds.


*Gasp* Nooo! Not the Robin!! :shock:

(I'm perfectly happy for you to kill off Joey's morals with a few keyboard flourishes, but really, corrupting an angel-child? How could you?!)
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 8/6
I've always been rather suspicious about Joey's trip to India. "Going to stay with relatives" was a common euphemism then, when used for nubile but single women :wink: .
Author:  Mona [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 8/6
Looking forward to Joey's introduction to the social circle in India :D
Author:  Abi [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 8/6
Love that Joey had no idea why she was going to India! This is hilarious. :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 8/6
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks, this is wonderful :mrgreen:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 8/6
Mollie Bettany was not best pleased at the prospect of entertaining Joey and the Robin indefinately! Yes sure, she had flung about those “would love to meet my new sister” lines in her letters, but that was only becasue she had been secure in the knowledge that it would never happen. Joey and Madge had neither the time – or more importantly the available cash – for a trip out. But now that Madge had married Dr Jem, they were awash with cash, and having decided that Joey needed to be got out of the way, no expense had been spared – they were travelling first class no less! Well this evening's party had been planned for weeks, and there was no way she was cancelling it! It would be today that Joey and the Robin were due to turn up! Well they would just have to lump it. It was bad enough that Dick had gone off to meet them, leaving all the preparations to her, but when she had suggested – perfectly reasonably she thought – that a bearer should be sent instead – Dick had refused with unusual firmness, and had left several days ago to welcome his sister and bring her to his home.

“Ah Well! Twas no use crying over spilt milk” she decided philosophically, with one of her mercurial changes of temperament. She dismissed the lingering irritation with the course of events, and turned her mind instead to the delights that were to come. Both she and the servants had worked hard in Dick’s absence, and the scene was well and truly set for tonight’s entertainment. As she made her final inspection before her siesta, she hugged herself with glee. Everything was perfect!

Mollie lay on the bed trying to rest despite the searing afternoon heat that was impossible to become accustomed to, no matter how long one lived in India. She wore nothing more than a simple sheer shift, her modesty protected by the thick mosquito nets that hung round the huge, beautifully carved wooden bed. One of the many house servants was busily operating the fan that offered what little air there was to be had. As she lay there, waiting for sleep to while away the long afternoon hours until the heat became more bearable and the British began to stir once more, she wondered how Joey would adapt to life here. She hoped it wouldn’t be too much of a shock – but then she remembered Dick telling her about Madge setting up the brothel – and Joey knowing all about the family business. No she should be fine, thought Mollie, and comforted by that thought, she allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

******

Dick, however, was slightly more worried. Madge had written to explain Joey’s sudden appearance in India, her complete lack of awareness of Dr Forest’s intentions, and her determined avoidance of the very idea of the horizontal hustle. Given his and Mollie’s very active social life, which his wife had made very clear she had no intention of curtailing, had there been time to stop Joey’s visit, he would have tried his utmost so to do. However, by the time he received the letter, Joey and the Robin were already on board ship. Perhaps they wouldn’t notice any thing out of the ordinary, he thought hopefully.

******

“Joey! Robin! How lovely to meet you!” cried Mollie later that day. Dick had dropped them off at the Bungalow, before heading off to the office to catch up on some of the work neglected in the time he had taken to go and fetch the two girls. She greeted them both with affection, and showed them into the charming room they were to share during their visit.

“Now I’m sure you’ll be wanting to freshen up a little before tea? I’ll have the servants bring in your bags, and they will show you where to go when you are ready.” And on the word Mollie swooshed out of the room, leaving Joey and the Robin to catch their breath.

The Robin looked longingly at the cool white bed. “I suppose we may not go straight to bed Joey?”

Joey shook her head “No darling. I’m sorry. It would be terribly rude. But I’ll make sure you have an early night, and sleep as long in the morning as you want to. Buck up! Let’s get washed and changed. I can’t wait to get rid of this suit!” and typically suiting the actions to the words, Joey quickly began to divest herself of her woollen travelling suit.

A beautiful sari clad woman, glided silently into the room and made Joey – who was not used to the silent movement of the native servants, nor their habit of not announcing their arrival into a room – jump. The servant salaamed her and told her that their bags would be here momentarily. In the meantime, would the Memsahib’s care to be bathed?

Not entirely sure what this entailed, Joey muttered something about preferring a wash and brush up if that could be arranged? She was shown a pitcher and bowl, which contained some sort of spicy smelling herb at the bottom.

The bags arrived, were swiftly unpacked, and then Joey smiling dismissed the servant, with a word of thanks. She swiftly divested herself of her remaining clothes and thankfully washed away all traces of the journey. As she dressed in a cool cotton frock of her favourite lime green, Robin took the opportunity to freshen up herself.

“I don’t know about you Rob, but I’m more than ready for my tea!” exclaimed Joey as she carefully arranged her hair in the earphone style which was rapidly becoming her trademark style, and the Robin wholeheartedly agreed.

******

Apart from the heat, they could have been in any English house thought Joey, as she marvelled at the display of wafer thin cucumber sandwiches, tiny cakes and fragrant hot tea served in the most delicate of china cups. She thirstily drank several of these, and made serious inroads into the food provided. The Robin also drank, but Joey noticed with concern that the younger girl ate very little and she determined that newly arrived guests or not, that the Robin would be in bed in short order or name was not Josephine Mary Bettany!

In the event Mollie was absolutely delighted that the Robin was not to take any further part in the evening’s festivities, and happily waived their apologies..

“What time should I be ready for dinner Mollie?” Joey asked, who was planning to settle the Robin and then take a little nap on her own account, but who was also morbidly anxious not to be late on her first evening in India.

“Dick will be home at about 7 from the office, and our guests will start arriving at about 8. We usually dine about 9 pm and then we shall have a few party games. It’s charades tonight.” Mollie finished a little diffidently.

“Oh goody! I love charades!” exclaimed Joey, and went off with her adopted sister quite happily now that there was something familiar to look forward to in the evening’s entertainment.

Perhaps tiredness may have been the reason she failed to pick up on the hesitation in Mollie’s voice.
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
I do not know who to be more sorry for - joey or Mollie.
Author:  Emma A [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Oh dear oh dear... What on earth is going to happen next? :shock: :D

Looking forward to more, abbeygirl.
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Joey's going to get an education isn't she? :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Oh my! Can't wait for the next installment.... :shock: :lol:
Author:  Miss Di [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 3:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
My goodness, I suspect the party could be on par with anything thrown by Maureen Smith (one on Heinlein's red headed, round heeled heroines)


edited because I can't spell
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Thanks, this is wonderful. Read this at work, but wasn't able to comment and it made a crappy night so much better :lol:
Author:  jmc [ Fri Jun 11, 2010 6:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
It always brightens my day to read this. Thanks abbeygirl
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Oh dear me, I see a very strong education coming her way! I just hope that the Robin can be kept out of it - pretty please?
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Can't stop laughing send help
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
Sorry for the delay in writing this – lots and lots of work to do and am now catering for a wedding for 120 (tomorrow!) – and altering a camisole for the Mother of the Bride – no pressure there then….Will try and get more done, but there may be a slight delay as RL gets slightly hectic for a while!

Joey dressed quickly and quietly, not wishing to disturb The Robin, who still slumbered soundly, her breathing even. Joey was glad to see that her cheeks had lost the whiteness that had so worried her earlier and the dark circles under her eyes had vanished. The Robin should be herself again by tomorrow. It was a shame she had to miss their first evening here, but not for worlds would Joey have risked the health of her beloved adopted sister.

Her earphones were carefully arranged, as was her silky frock in the lime green she loved so well. The dress had been minutely adjusted with the deft fingers that held something of a Frenchwoman’s touch, and with a final glance at the silk stockings which showed an alarming tendency to slide still, Miss Josephine Bettany went to meet her brother’s friends.

****
Jo had become used to entertaining since leaving school. The Doctor and his wife regularly hosted dinners and small evening parties for the staff at the sanatorium, and Joey had been expected to play her part in keeping their guests amused. Thus the prospect of the evening ahead held no qualms for her, in fact she was really rather looking forward to it.

****

“Oh I’m sorry Mollie – am I too early? I thought everyone would be dressed by now”! exclaimed Jo, coming to a dismayed halt as she perceived her sister in law, whose modesty was barely covered by a sheer pink, feather bedaubed shift.

Could she actually move in that corset thingy? thought Joey in wonder, it looked terribly uncomfortable to her, and she had thought that corsets were designed to go underneath various outer garments, rather than being the sole focus of attention. Perhaps it was some kind of Indian tradition? Something to do with the heat? Madge had, now she recalled, started to say something about Joey maybe finding things a little bit different in India, but when Joey had tried to press her for details, she had been uncharacteristically vague. Possibly this is what she had meant? Jo wished she hadn’t put on her vest underneath her dress now…

Too late to worry about being overdressed, thought Joey, it was nearly dinner time. Oh well, maybe later on she might get an opportunity to slip out of this dress.

****
As the first few guests entered the large salon in ones and twos, and were introduced to “My sister-in-law, Miss Bettany”, it quickly became clear to Joey, that Mollie’s mode of dressing was by no means unusual. However, she did receive something of a shock when Dick finally entered the room. He swooped his wife into a passionate embrace, simultaneously greeting guests and apologising for his tardiness, but it was not that which had caused Joey to look away in distress momentarily. Poor Dick had forgotten to fasten his trousers! There was a gaping hole at the front – and he was obviously unaware of his predicament. Surely Mollie would discreetly point out his omission, and allow him to fix the little problem. But nothing was said, and Joey did not know what to do for the best. In the end she said nothing, and was glad she had not done so, when several other men entered the room in the same state. It must be another of those strange Indian customs she thought, and then inspiration struck! Of course! It was so hot that people must be anxious to keep as cool as possible. With the punkka wallahs busily fanning the room, it must be quite nice to feel the breeze through that gap. What a good idea. Maybe she ought to suggest it to Dr Jack and Dr Jem as an idea for the summer months in the Tyrol?
Author:  keren [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
choking with laughter at the last sentence
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
abbeygirl wrote:
...Poor Dick had forgotten to fasten his trousers! There was a gaping hole at the front – and he was obviously unaware of his predicament ... Of course! It was so hot that people must be anxious to keep as cool as possible. With the punkka wallahs busily fanning the room, it must be quite nice to feel the breeze through that gap. What a good idea. Maybe she ought to suggest it to Dr Jack and Dr Jem as an idea for the summer months in the Tyrol?

:lol: :lol: :lol:
I am SO glad I wasn't drinking tea when I read this, abbeygirl!
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
O help! Joey has gone from the frying pan to the fire here!!
Author:  thefrau46 [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
maybe later on she might get an opportunity to slip out of this dress.

Oh dear! Or do I mean - oh yes, what IS to come this evening?

More please!

Loved the last sentence too. lol
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
That last sentence!!!!! Oh please let her have the opportunity! :lol:
Author:  sealpuppy [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/6
abbeygirl wrote:
Jo wished she hadn’t put on her vest underneath her dress now…


Sniggering wildly, and picturing Joey in a silky strappy number worn over a hand-knitted lime green vest. :D
Author:  Abi [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
:lol: :lol: :lol: at the last sentence!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jun 19, 2010 2:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
I was eating and nearly choked on that last sentence. Thanks Abbeygirl
Author:  jmc [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
Sorry laughing too much to type anything much. :lol: :lol:

Thanks abbeygirl
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
That last sentence is perfect! :lol:
Author:  Vick [ Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
:rofl: Oh dear! Have just read this and the whole of Madame in one sitting. Am very glad there is no one else within hearing of my repeated snorts & laughs as I don't think I could explain them :lol:

Thank you abbeygirl for such an entertaining read and looking forward to more when you get the chance :D
Author:  Miss Di [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
Echoing everyone in being relieved I wasn't eating lunch as I read that last line!!!
Author:  Len [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
Very funny and norty, AbbeyGirl! Can't wait for some more :D
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/6
If a slight air of vulgarity creeps into this post (surely not!) – I do apologise. The charades were taken from a game I found on the internet (I don’t have it honest!) - And I should point out that I had to google the Charade terms……

Although she had been allowed of late to partake of the odd glass of light country wine with dinner, Joey was still a lemonade and milky coffee girl at heart. However, Mollie was assiduous in filling her glass. Firstly with chilled champagne which Joey – confused by the bubbles – consumed as if it were in fact lemonade, and then with a varied assortment of wines all of which had been carefully chosen to complement the twenty or so courses Mollie served her guests. If Mollie had been half hoping that the combination of travel, good food and vast quantities of alcohol might see her sister –in-law retire to her room sooner rather than later, she was to be disappointed. Whilst several of her guests could indeed already be found under the table, Joey herself remained bright-eyed and bushy tailed, apparently unaffected by the gallon of alcohol currently sloshing around her body, and eager that the proposed game of charades might soon begin.

****

Joey had been disappointed to learn that the game was not to be an extempore one, but had in fact been planned for quite some time. All there was for her to do, was to sit back and try – with the other team – to guess that charade being acted out in front of them.

****

Joey sniffed a trifle dismissively as she surveyed the scene currently being enacted. The participants did not seem to have made much of an effort she thought, remembering evenings at home, where it had taken all day for them to assemble suitable costumes and scenery for their charades, and many an evening they had only had sufficient time to perform one, with the other team having perforce to present their offering on the next night. But here there were the most rudimentary of costumes, and they seemed to choose the silliest things to enact! Joey hadn’t managed to guess a single charade and she was normally so good at it! But what could one do when on was faced with several silly people with red beaks and tail feathers running around Mollie’s salon, being chased by a man who was evidently attempting to throttle them. Several of the guests had been in hysterics, so much so that it was all they could do to call out the answer which was apparently “choking the chicken!”

The final charade of the evening was also extremely peculiar. A black curtain had been hung from the ceiling, with several large tables, also decorated with black tablecloths, placed immediately in front of them. Then a screen was erected between the audience and the action, remaining in place for several long minutes. Finally with a flourish the screen was dropped and the scene revealed! A row of pink cylindrical objects of varying shape and size were lined up on top of the tablecloths, side by side. To the left was a man ensconced in a large blue and white striped apron, who was pointing at these objects to a lady who stood apparently transfixed with joy at the sight. She clasped her hands together in an apparent paroxysm and then moved slowly down the line, her face all the time showing evidence of great pleasure. Occasionally she would stop and lift up one of the objects and Joey thought she heard a muffled groan from the other side of the curtains when that happened. Suddenly someone called out “Oh She’s admiring the butcher’s sausages” and a gale of laughter from most parts of the room broke out. Joey, however, merely remained puzzled. She supposed that they did look a bit like sausages – well except that one at the end which looked a bit more like a chewed up chipolata than a plumped up porker– but why anyone would want to admire them beat her.

The effort of trying to decipher the charade left her feeling very tired suddenly and she decided that it was really more than time she made it to her bed. She made her way to the foot of the stairs and was just about to ascend when a voice arrested her.

“I say! New blood! Come and have a drink with me – I’m Captain Raymond by the way.”

“Joey Bettany. I’m dreadfully sorry but I’m just off to find my bed. Perhaps another time?”

“A lonely bed?” he queried, rather rudely thought Joey, but When in Rome!

“Well no – I’m sharing a bed with my sister, well she’s not really my sister, I just call her that. Her name’s Robin – I call her Rob for short.”

Captain Raymond turned away with a sigh of regret. Just his luck. Looked like a nice bit of fresh meat there for the taking, and it turned out she was batting for the other side..
Author:  judithR [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Thanks, this has cheered a rubbish afternoon.

Is it a cause for concern that I understood all your euphemisms?
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Now will he be disappointed? Or not? :lol:
Author:  Alison H [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
:lol: :lol: I'd never've thought of that, but "I'm sharing a bed with" and "She's not really my sister" ... yep, no wonder he got the wrong idea :lol: :lol: .
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Probably a narrow escape for Joey and the household though!!!
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
:lol: :lol:

Captain Raymond has a familiar air to it, though... (racks brains)
Author:  Abi [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Emma A wrote:
Captain Raymond has a familiar air to it, though... (racks brains)


The only one I can think of is Joan Shirley's husband, which I sincerely hope it isn't...... :shock: :lol:

Loved that Joey was apparently completely unaffected by the twenty glasses of wine!
Author:  Lyanne [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 7:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Abi wrote:
Emma A wrote:
Captain Raymond has a familiar air to it, though... (racks brains)


The only one I can think of is Joan Shirley's husband, which I sincerely hope it isn't...... :shock: :lol:

Loved that Joey was apparently completely unaffected by the twenty glasses of wine!


That was my thought also!
Author:  JennieP [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Unfortunately I am now confusing him with the fine young (was about to say upstanding but maybe not given the context) officer, Colonel Raymond in Biggles, which I will never be able to read invthe same way. This is hysterical, abbeygirl.
Author:  Elle [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 5:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Very, very funny! Particularly the sausages...
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 8:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
I just hope that he doesn't decide to go and find her anyway - please spare the Robin!

Thanks for the update.
Author:  Miss Di [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
I shall have to google those charades. But might wait until home rather than doing it at work...
Author:  La Petite Em [ Sat Jul 03, 2010 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 24/6
Sorry for the delay in updating.... RL should quieten down a bit after this week (apart from arranging small son's birthday party!)

At the breakfast table at Die Rosen, Jem was calmly perusing the latest edition of TB Monthly, whilst munching on a delicious honey covered crusty roll, Madge Russell eagerly ripped open the first of two letters waiting by the side of her plate and scanned quickly through the untidy scrawl that was so characteristic of her small sister. It said much for his concentration on the subject matter before him, that it was several seconds before Jem realised that his wife had been choking for several seconds – the victim of a bread twist consumed at an injudiciously chosen moment. However, once the urgency of the situation had been revealed, he leapt into action and applied the Heimlich manoeuvre. In mid thrust, the door of the salon opened, and Marie – ready to top up the coffee pot – entered the room. She smiled indulgently at her employers – how nice to see them still so much in love that they could not control themselves even at the breakfast table. Hoping they had not observed her entrance, she backed carefully out of the salon, and, closing the door gently behind her, went back to the kitchen, making a mental note not to go and clear the table for a while longer.

Thanks to Jem’s medical training and his quickish thinking - it would have been quicker but he was absorbed in contemplation of some before and after chest x-rays - the stray bread twist was soon dislodged, and Madge returned to the table, to finish her meal as best she might. Not surprisingly Jem found it impossible to go back to the contemplation of his publication without first obtaining some sort of explanation from his beloved wife.

“Well?”

“Yes thank you – I’m fine now” replied his wife, possibly somewhat obtusely, but she had undergone something of a trauma.

In recognition of this fact, Dr Jem refrained from making any other outward sign of impatience than a simple roll of the eyes. “Yes Madge. I meant, what on earth made you go off like that?”

Madge hesitated for a moment, and then – instead of replying – gave him the letter to read for himself.

“My dearest darling Madge,

Well, here we are in India at long last! The boat trip was terribly exciting and we met scores of people! There was a concert on the last night, and both Rob and I performed – I sang a few songs which seemed to go down well, but it was Rob who really brought the house down when she sang the Red Sarafan. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house let me tell you!

Dick was waiting to meet us off the boat – he’d taken leave to come and drive us home. I thought we would be staying overnight in a hotel before we set off again, but in the end it was all a bit of a scramble as apparently Dick and Mollie were holding some kind of house party and Dick said it was more than his life was worth not to be back for it. I expect he was joking! The countryside is so beautiful, but so different to my beloved Tyrol, and the heat is extraordinary! Thankfully Dick has a Punka Wallah for the car, and the breeze he produced was enough to keep us from melting on the spot. It was a splendid idea - like a sort of fan for the car. Perhaps we could rig something similar at home? Speaking of keeping cool, they do have several very good ideas here – I must remember to pass them on when we get home. Anyway we arrived at the house, and Mollie made us terribly welcome, even though she was in the middle of preparing for a party. I saw Rob was looking all eyes, so made her go to bed soon after we arrived. She slept the clock round and has looked much better ever since, although the heat is always a bit trying for her.

I was looking forward to the party – Mollie said there would be charades and you know how much I enjoy that! – but I felt terribly overdressed. Mollie carefully explained that I had just arrived from England that day, and everyone was awfully kind .

I must just tell you about the Charades. I have to say it wasn’t a bit like home! The first was very peculiar. It was just someone running around after what looked like chickens, threatening to strangle them. It seemed very strange to me, but everyone else seemed to find it hilarious…”

Jem snorted at this point “That was easy – Choking the chicken.” He pronounced with the air of one having solved a particularly easy crossword clue. And then he checked. He met his wife’s eyes ruefully as the full realisation of the ethos of Dick and Mollie’s household sunk in.

“Oh my goodness me…. I think we’ve sent Joey from the frying pan into the fire…”
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/7
:lol: :lol: :lol: So what are they going to do about it?

Thanks for the update, I love seeing more of this!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/7
Oh that's wonderful :lol: Love how Jem guessed it straight away.
Author:  Abi [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/7
:lol: :lol: :lol: Marvellous! I'm not at all surprised Madge choked. Loved Marie's assumption of what was going on and Jem barely noticing that she was choking!
Author:  jmc [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/7
:lol: :lol: :lol: Great to see this back again.
Author:  abbeygirl [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/7
Just a short one today...

Cautiously Dick Bettany eased open his front door, and slid through the small gap thus created. He held his breath momentarily, but there was no indication of life in the little salon sacrosanct to his wife. He breathed a trifle more easily and perhaps rather injudiciously stepped out more freely. He almost made it to the sanctuary – albeit only a temporary refuge – of his study, when his attention was attracted by an ominous growling noise. Dick froze, but as the growling grew louder, he sighed and obeyed the summons. “Please, Please let this be about me leaving the seat up!” he implored whatever deity might possibly be listening. One look at his wife’s face as he gingerly stepped stepped into the salon, was enough to tell him that the heavens weren’t listening. He gulped.

Despite the fact that Mollie had spent very little of her time in her native Ireland throughout her life, she found that at moments of stress – or anger – that she resorted almost without thought to a creamy Irish brogue. In fact Dick could often tell exactly how cross she was by the extent of her accent. Judging by the Begorrahs and Bejabbers that were currently flowing from her freshly painted red lips, he was in deep ordure .

“Been to the club have we mavourneen?

He knew better than to lie. “Ah yes?” he replied, not knowing yet if she really knew or not. But he should have known better. That woman had a better intelligence network than the entire British Empire.

“So ye will have heard of the latest bet in the book then?”

“Em. Er. I’m not…” he tailed off, hoping she might let it go. No chance.

“Just to refresh your memory… How about Jiggling Josephine? Who will do the Bed Boogie with Bettany? And When?”

He looked away quickly, hoping she hadn’t spotted his guilty flush. He should, of course, have known better after all this time..

“Richard Bettany! Niver tell me ye’ve had a wager on Joey’s innocence!”

Dick nodded ruefully. “Couldn’t help myself. Got fifty to one on when icicles form in Hell…”
Author:  JB [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
* Emits most unladylike snigger *

Thanks, Abbeygirl.
Author:  JennieP [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
Smirk. Thanks for livening up 18,000 deathly dull words of translation on the employment of monks in mediaeval Italy.

Still don't actually know what the charades are, but feel that googling might "enlighten" me more than I really want...
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
:lol: Can't wait to see how right he was!

Thanks for the update.
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
Mollie is brilliant :lol: .
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
Well I'd go for those odds! :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Am now laughing uncontrollably...
Author:  abbeygirl [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 13/7
Joey felt a little guilty as she slipped out of the house, leaving the Robin fast asleep in the bedroom. It seemed strange to be going to visit some-one’s house without her brother’s knowledge, but really over the past few days, Dick had been so peculiar. He never let her talk to anyone alone - well actually no male under the age of 65 and over the age of 16. She had received a number of charming invitations, but Dick – without even consulting her! – had turned them all down. Joey wondered what had gotten into him. He had never played the heavy brother before. Still, it had been fortunate that Captain Raymond had seen how the wind was blowing and had prevailed upon a female friend of his to pass on a letter in the midst of an afternoon soiree at the Bettany residence.

“My very dear Miss Bettany,

I have been informed that you are a very keen student of history. It seems a shame for you not to be able to see some of the ancient artifacts belonging to this ancient and glorious country during your visit, but unfortunately my suggestion that this might be something you would enjoy seeing was firmly vetoed by your brother. If, however, you would care to see my collection of ancient etchings, I would be glad to show them to you. Perhaps over supper tomorrow night?”

Yours in hope.
Captain Reynaud Raymond.”

Joey had indeed been a little surprised to be approached in such a way, and she couldn’t be quite sure of the propriety of the suggestion. Still, Captain Raymond seemed such a gentleman, and Dick had been such a bore recently for some reason, and she had never been asked to see anyone’s etchings before. The temptation proved too much to resist, and she nodded her agreement to Captain Raymond over the crowded room. He concealed a grin of satisfaction, and began to make his plans.

*******

He was waiting to welcome her into his home when she arrived. He was out of uniform which Joey thought rather a pity as there was something about a man in uniform. Still, she supposed it must be more comfortable in that robe thing, although really it was a trifle short? She averted her eyes hastily.

It was very dark in here she thought, he must have very good eyesight? Or perhaps – she thought with a pang of pity – he was too poor to be able to afford good lighting. There was music playing too, she didn’t recognise it, but then that would have been quite hard given you could hardly hear it! She wondered if she could ask him to turn it up a bit? Gosh it was warm in here! Joey began to ineffectually fan herself with her hands. She hadn’t realised how quickly she had become used to the comforts of her brother’s house, and the ever vigilant punkka wallah’s. He must indeed be poor thought Joey if he could not afford a servant in India! Oh my she wished she hadn’t put on her vest. It was silly she knew, but the habits of a lifetime could not easily be set aside. Every day of her life it had been the first question Madge had asked her, anxious as always that Joey should not catch cold. No danger of that at the moment, thought Joey a bit wistfully as she began to melt.

“Sit down, my dear, make yourself comfortable” Captain Raymond urged.

Not knowing what else to do, Joey obligingly sat down, but almost immediately found herself sinking firmly into the depths of the very accommodating furniture. Before she had time to recover her balance, Captain Raymond had caught hold of her hands.

“Miss Bettany. Josephine! I can no longer hold back! I must kiss you!” and suiting the action to the word, began to trail kisses down her body, his hands releasing hers, but only to allow him to loosen her dress, whilst simultaneously slipping of his robe.

The sight of her white neck laid bare before his gaze, suddenly inflamed his passion. Joey cried out as something long and pink reared before her eyes, and her hand reached out behind her. She gave a cry of triumph as she encountered a large heavy lamp. She grabbed it, and before Captain Raymond knew it, she brought the lamp down on the snake as hard as she could. He screamed and collapsed to the floor.

Just then the door burst open and Dick - who had read the note Joey had dropped in her haste to leave the house and dashed off to protect his investment - rushed in. Joey dropped the lamp and ran to him, almost sobbing with relief.

“Dick! Thank goodness you’re here!”

Her brother saw Captain Raymond lying on the floor unconscious the broken lamp on the floor beside him and he instantly jumped to the inevitable conclusion! “Joey – did he – did he....touch you?” he faltered.

“Oh yes! He was kissing me. It was rather yucky actually” she confided. “But just as I was about to call for help, this huge pink snake suddenly reared up. I screamed and managed to find something to hit it with, but I must have been too late. It must have bitten poor Captain Raymond before I killed it, because he gave an almighty scream and collapsed on the floor. Dick we must help him! Shall I suck the poison out?”
Author:  cestina [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
This is the first bit of this thread I have read.....now heading hastily back to the beginning, reeling with laughter......
Author:  Vick [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Oh dearie me! It's a good job I only have an 8 month old for company at the moment. That last paragraph did for me :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Poor Joey! I really do think that she would be best just going back to the Platz in ignorance.

Thankyou - what an ending!
Author:  Alison H [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Nightwing [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
Given the nature of some of India's historical artworks I thought this was going in quite a different direction for a moment there... or maybe not quite such a different direction... :lol:
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
(((((Captain Raymond)))) He may never recover!


This just made me shout out with laughter. :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Oh my! Poor Joey.... poor Captain Raymond......
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
Lesley wrote:
This just made me shout out with laughter. :lol:


Me too! I'm just glad no one is home with me at the moment! :lol: Thanks

As for Captain Raymone, he deserved what he got. Good on you Joey
Author:  Miss Di [ Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
Oh dear I really shouldn't read this at work when I am trying to be serious.
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Jul 16, 2010 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
:shock: :lol:
I don't know who to feel sorriest for! Poor Joey, but poor Captain Raymond! :shock: Joey will be getting herself a reputation!
Author:  abbeygirl [ Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 15/7
Just a short one - to help me back in the groove!

Dick came home from work whistling softly to himself, a task made slightly harder by the somewhat smug grin he sported.

“Give” said his wife, flatly, and Dick – drawing on the experience that marriage had bought him – made haste to do just that.

Rather than waste time with mere words, he simply reached into his pocket and drew out the largest wad of notes that Mollie had ever seen.

“Niver tell me ye’ve been robbing banks again!”

Dick flushed “That was a simple misunderstanding!” he protested. “No – the syndicate paid out on the bet. I was the only one who went for When Hell Froze Over – so I scooped the lot! Apparently the sight of old Raymond limping around with that splint on his doodlie whatsit has put everyone else off giving it a go.”

Mollie winced in sympathy – she had seen the maltreated member in question, and could quite understand the reluctance of any male to risk similar damage to his long term prospects.

“I was thinking..” began Dick slowly...”that we might use some of the money to let Joey see a bit more of India than just our small corner of it..”

Mollie met Dick’s eyes, her expression one of almost desperate hope. “Oh could we?” the thought of their life back, the re-establishment of their social circle – sans Captain Raymond for the immediate future anyway - was almost too wonderful to contemplate.
“I think it’s my duty!” Dick declared and before they could have second thoughts about the proposal, they called Joey and the Robin down to the salon.

****

And so Joey and the Robin set out on their journey across India. Surely it was just coincidence that a swirling vortex of doom accompanied them?
Author:  Abi [ Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Excellent - looking forward to the swirling vortex of doom. :D
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Oh this is fabulous. Thanks, am glad no one is around to hear me laugh like this
Author:  shazwales [ Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Thank you abbeygirl :D :D :D
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Feel very sorry for Captain Raymond's doodle whatsit! :wink:


Thanks Abbeygirl
Author:  Miss Di [ Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Goodnes me, really a swirling vortex of doom?
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Swirling vortexes are always good, especially doomful ones!

Thanks for the update :D
Author:  Chatelaine [ Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Can't believe you're letting that sweet, innocent angel-child go off into a vortex of doom :shock: Never mind, she'll have the Robin to look after her :lol:
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Oops - must laugh more quietly next time - eight year old just came in to ask what was so funny! :shock: :D
Author:  abbeygirl [ Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
Right - time to get my fingers moving again.....

“Rob darling. Did you think Mollie was all right when we left?” Joey queried her smaller companion as they drove along in Dick’s car at a rather sharper pace than she would ideally have liked. Her remonstrance to the servants had met with no success however, and Joey had eventually concluded that their English must not be too good. After all she thought she had heard one of them say there would be hell to pay if the Sahib’s sister wasn’t a hundred miles away before sunset! But they had obviously got the wrong end of the stick there, after all Dick had been so distraught at them leaving on this trip he had only been able to mutter “Take Care Joey! And have a nice long explore of India!” before he had retreated to his study, from whence there had issued sounds of the severest distress. For a moment Joey had thought they sounded like cheering, but when she thought about it had realised her mistake, obviously they were howls of sorrow.

But she had not had long to dwell on the subject. In yet another example of the incredible efficiency of the Indian servants, within ten minutes of Dick and Mollie informing them of the marvellous treat they had arranged, their bags were packed and the car was waiting outside, its engine already purring to be off. Dick had obviously been unable to control his emotions at their leaving and so it was left to Mollie to wave them off.

Rob turned her innocent dark eyes towards her beloved Joey “But yes my Zoey!” she replied, in her amazement at the question resorting to the baby name of her childhood. “why should she not be?”

“Well, did you not notice the large handkerchief over her face – and those strange noises she kept making? I nearly got straight back out of the car and offered to stay behind to look after her. She may have one of those strange tropical diseases!”

“But no My Zoey! It was merely her kindness at concealing her tears! She was obviously heartbroken at our departure, but did not wish us to realise this, worrying that it might spoil our joy…”

“Well I suppose you could be right..” Joey concluded doubtfully, still not completely convinced that it was not her duty to return immediately to Dick’s household. Perhaps she would have done so, despite the Robin’s reassurance, had it not been strangely difficult to attract the attention of their escort. Obviously they were concentrating too hard on escorting them safely to be able to attract their attention– but they might not need to concentrate so hard if they would just slow down a bit! thought Joey – more than a little crossly as she was deposited on the side of the car with rather more force than was comfortable.

*****

Meanwhile Dick and Mollie were half way down the second bottle of ice cold champagne that they had opened once the car with its contents had finally disappeared from view.

“Thank goodness they’ve gone!” Mollie had exclaimed, her beaming face emerging from the confines of the large Irish linen kerchief that had successfully hidden the joy she was unable to conceal. “Dick – you can come out now you wimp – they’ve gone!”

“Well I like that!” exclaimed the affronted man of the house, emerging from the study ready to do battle. He quickly lost his train of thought, however, at the sight of his wife, two glasses of champagne all that was concealing her modesty.

“I thought we may celebrate Mavourneen…” she sultered huskily, as she swayed towards him, her undulating contour lines resulting in an immediate area of high pressure for Dick.

“Damm good idea!” he breathed huskily…

And together they rode out the subsequent tropical storm….
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
Oh dear :lol: Oh dear oh dear, I may be making some interesting noises of mirth myself at this moment...

I can't wait to see what happens to poor Joey and Robin next! Thankyou!
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
I wondered if you'd sunk without trace :shock: :shock: :lol:

Glad to see you again - does this mean we'll get some more of the Rosalie story too??
Author:  shesings [ Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
Oh joy to see this back - I've missed it!
Author:  Abi [ Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
Oh, I'm glad to see this back. :D
Author:  honey lamb [ Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
YAY!! It's back :D
Author:  sealpuppy [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 29/7
abbeygirl wrote:
And together they rode out the subsequent tropical storm….


:D :D :D Love that line! Glad to see this one back again.
Author:  JB [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
I'd forgotten about this. Really pleased to see it back.
Author:  JS [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
I was vaguely wondering the other day what had become of this - so pleased to see it back.
Author:  abbeygirl [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 18/01
Thank you! Glad to know you missed me! The rust is gradually working its way from my fingers, so hopefully this will start flowing a bit better soon...

To say Dacia Parsons was a tad annoyed as she waited with increasing impatience for her very much unwanted guests to come down to tea, would be something of an understatement. In fact it was only her father’s assurance that if she failed to act as hostess – properly! – to these two numpties, that she would be packed off back to England, would have no allowance and be accompanied night and day by the strictest companion that Aunt Ethel could find, that had caused her to greet them with any sort of complaisance. Why Now? Why her? Just as she had persuaded Captain Marbel that her father wouldn’t really mind if he found out that they were “keeping company” – that of course was a tinsy teeny weeny bit of a fib actually but she was getting desperate! All that lovely man flesh and no action! Life was just not fair!

Her father had been so horrible to her since she had arrived home six months earlier and it was all Cousin Margaret’s fault! Rotten tell tale! It had taken her this long to get her father to let down his guard, and convince him that Cousin Margaret had exaggerated when she had sent Dacia back to her father with a tersely worded communication that had suggested he may need to invest in some stronger elastic for his daughter’s bloomers as she apparently seemed unable to keep them fastened for any length of time… Her father had been furious and had threatened to send her to a convent for a year if she couldn’t behave herself.

It had taken long months of Dacia being on her absolute best behaviour before she had finally managed to convince him that Cousin Margaret was pathologically jealous, and such a mean old spinster that she thought any one speaking to a single man was to be considered nothing More Than The Whore of Babylon… She had only had a single glorious week to check out the action – God she loved India with all those desperate men! - but had been frustrated all over again when even after she had made her choice, she had had to overcome an unexpectedly strong resistance to her proposal that they should jiggle in the jungle, just because her father had threatened to demote any man found touching her – at least she thought it was demotion they had been threatened with… She was all set to go, her lucky bloomers had been washed and ironed ready for the occasion, and then her father had called her into his study and issued his ukase.

All that hard work and effort! All wasted because of these two! Initially she had harboured the smallest of hopes that they may be kindred spirits, after all, they had heard certain rumours of the Bettany household even here. But the sight of Joey – earphones tightly pinned to her head, and lime green vest peeking out from her dress –had swiftly disabused her of that notion, and all hope had vanished.

However, as she was well aware her father had meant every word of his threat, she swallowed her rancour, and had greeted them as pleasantly as possible. She had had them shown to their rooms to freshen up after their journey and had also attempted to provide their escort with some refreshment. However, the house servants informed her with some surprise that the latter had left again almost immediately, muttering something like “No thank you – don’t want to take any chances!” and with tyres screeching, they had hot-tailed it down the long drive to the Parsons’ elegant bungalow. Strange, thought Dacia, used to servants who would take any opportunity of whiling away some time away from their lawful pursuits, and then she dismissed them from her mind, and started to wonder, with a slight sense of rising panic, just how she was supposed to entertain these two muppets for the next however long they decided to stay, and how on earth she was supposed to manage her love life in the meantime.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
:lol: Well, I really can't wait to see what she comes up with in the way of 'entertainment'! Thankyou!
Author:  Alison H [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
Good to see this back :D .
Author:  Abi [ Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
What a complicated life she leads... :lol:
Author:  JS [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
Love the idea of lucky bloomers - and fancy the Bettanys' reputation travelling so far. Just as well Erica doesn't take after her mother....(or will that be a sequel, Abbeygirl :) )
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
Thank you for bringing this back. Its wonderful and made my day :D :mrgreen:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
Isn't it weird! I know exactly how this ends - but can I get Joey there?!

Sorry Ruth - I haven't started the next Rosalie yet. I have a rough plan and did loads of research .... the snag is finding it first though......

“Cards?” suggested Dacia, more than a little desperation creeping into her voice? What on earth did these people find to do with themselves every evening! So far every perfectly reasonable suggestion had been met with either e decided negative or – as in this latest instance - a sharp intake of breath, signifying clearly their utter horror that such an action could be contemplated for even a moment.

The evening meal had not gone too badly. Colonel Parsons had been anxious to catch up on the news from the Hill, and Joey – well trained in her social duty by her sister – had acquitted herself favourably. The flow of conversation between them had also had the effect of disguising the fact that Dacia had very little to say for herself. If her father noticed, he simply assumed that she was indulging in a fit of the sulks, but in truth Miss Parsons was busily trying to work out how to dump her guests and sneak out of the house in time to meet with the Captain.

She was no closer to finding a solution when her father indicated that he was ready to enjoy a solitary glass of port and cigar. Thus recalled to her position as hostess, Dacia recalled her wandering attention and indicated to the ladies that it was time to retire.

Colonel Parsons stood as they rose to leave, big smile on his face. “Been a pleasure Miss Bettany! Miss Humphries! I expect I’ll be joining you later on, but I’ve a bit of business to attend to first. Dacia here will look after you well, though. And you must tell me if she doesn’t.”

Dacia caught the note of menace in his voice at the last few words, but Joey was oblivious. “Oh I’m sure Miss Parsons will do the pretty!” she exclaimed happily, lapsing into slang in a way that had she been privileged to hear it, would have made her sister weep.

Dacia led the way into the shady lounge, with its huge comfortable chairs and plentiful fans. The windows would soon be barred to prevent the dangers of the night from entering the house, but for now they lay open to the evening air and both Joey and the Robin welcomed the faint breath of air which resulted.

Some few minutes had been spent admiring the various treasures, in particular the very large, if somewhat cross-eyed tiger rug that lay sprawled across the middle of the floor. Its expression was such that it gave the distinct feeling that wherever you were in the room, it was still somehow watching you. When your back was towards it, such a sensation could only be described as an uncomfortable one. The examination of the household treasures came to an abrupt halt, however, when Joey spied some beautifully crafted figurines. “Oh how splendid!” she gasped and picked up the first to examine it more closely.

“That it Lord Shiva” explained Dacia hastily “And that next to him is the goddess Kali – and that last one is a depiction of Kali umm.. enchanting Lord Shiva.”

Joey looked a bit more closely at the last named and if the twists and turns of her head were a guide, she appeared to be attempting to work out which limb belonged where. She turned to Dacia, a half question on her lips.

“Now, I think it is time for tea.” said Dacia firmly, and not without a puzzled backward glance at the statues, Joey and the Robin obediently allowed themselves to be ushered into comfortable chairs and drink gallons of the most delicious tea. As she did so Joey vowed that she would somehow ensure that a regular supply of this precious beverge would be finding its way to the Tyrol as long as she had any say in the matter.

The air of contentment invoked by the companionable draining of the teapot dissipated rapidly once Dacia attempted to ascertain how her guests would care to spend the remainder of the evening. The suggestion of a game of cards had been her final fling and in a cry born of desperation she burst out “So how would you spend your evenings at home?”

“Well one of our absolute favourites of course is paper games. We love those don’t we Rob? And then we sing quite a lot..”

“Joey has a lovely voice!” interjected the Robin at this point, anxious her “sister’s” special gift should be appreciated “She sings with the golden notes of a chorister! And Mr Denny raves about her voice!”

“Aw.. Rob…!” exclaimed Joey, blushing red.

So it’s a choice of paper games or listening to them sing, thought Dacia. That was a toughie. Perhaps she might instead seek occupation outside? Banging her beautifully coiffured head against the nearest wall?….

In actual fact,the evening mostly went much better than she had anticipated. Joey really did have a good voice and was happy to sing some of Dacia’s favourite pieces. Dacia was slowly warming to her guests when her father belatedly entered the room.

“No no! Don’t stop. Beautiful Miss Joey beautiful! Just like in your mother’s day hey Dacia? Lovely to have music in the house again. Let me hear another, I insist!” and he sank down into the nearest chair, evidently prepared for a treat of the highest order. Joey and the Robin looked at each other, and a signal appeared to pass between them. Then the Robin stepped forward and in a clear voice announced “Me – I will now sing Ze Red Sarafan” and just three notes later Dacia realised she had quite lost the will to live…..
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 20/01
Thanks for the updates.
Author:  Emma A [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
I loved the whole thing, but particularly this bit:
abbeygirl wrote:
... Then the Robin stepped forward and in a clear voice announced “Me – I will now sing Ze Red Sarafan” and just three notes later Dacia realised she had quite lost the will to live…

:lol: :lol:

Thanks, abbeygirl!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 20/01
Oh my! :lol: How fantastic.

Thankyou!
Author:  Abi [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 19/01
Emma A wrote:
I loved the whole thing, but particularly this bit:
abbeygirl wrote:
... Then the Robin stepped forward and in a clear voice announced “Me – I will now sing Ze Red Sarafan” and just three notes later Dacia realised she had quite lost the will to live…

:lol: :lol:

Thanks, abbeygirl!


Yes, that bit was particularly good.... :lol:
Author:  Alison H [ Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 20/01
:lol: Wait till Joey starts telling stories about the CS: that'll be even worse!
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 20/01
Just a short update today - I am feeling increasingly sorry for Dacia now....

There were only two types of paper about which Dacia could summon up any real degree of interest. The first represented the sound of her father counting out her rather generous allowance of money, the second the note passed from one hand to another in secret, signalling that there was an affair in the offing – or even better – actually in progress. Thus it was hardly surprising that for her - the paper games chosen by Joey and the Robin as the ideal way to round off the evening’s entertainment was only marginally less attractive a proposition than poking her eye with a sharp stick. Actually Dacia silently amended, as Joey burst into peals of bell like laughter at the discovery that “A Lady’s Guide to gardening” had been written by Rose Busche, that “Grave Mistakes” had been authored by Paul Bearer, that Ann Guish had written “My Lost Love” and that “Great Modern Detectives” could be attributed to the pen of Scott Linyard, if this evening was to continue in its present format for much longer, she may well feel the need to go and find one of her long dead mother’s ivory knitting needles. Mind you, she hadn’t quite finalised exactly what – or indeed who - would be stabbed first.

Thankfully – before another round of this immensely amusing game could be suggested - the Robin began to yawn and Joey –ever attentive to her small adopted sister’s health, reacted instantly.

“Oh I say! I’m a dreadfully selfish beast Rob! I should have known you would be too tired to be up for much today after all that travelling! Dacia – I’m terribly sorry – I know how much fun we were having, but I daren’t take any risks with the Rob – Mad – My Sister would never forgive me.”

After politely expressing her regrets at the curtailment of the evening’s entertainment, Dacia agreed that it would indeed be infamous if the Robin were not instantly allowed to retire. She half heartedly suggested that Joey may like to return to the lounge once Rob was settled, and managed to control her glee at Joey’s decision to follow her sister to bed. So that she could be nice and fresh for the morning. Would it be in order for them to sleep in, in the morning? Joey couldn’t see them getting up much before 6? Dacia assured them that no-one would expect to see them before then.

Dacia managed to restrain her jig of joy at their departure until the door had firmly closed behind them. Excellent! Just time to nip upstairs, throw on the lucky bloomers, and hightail to the Officers Club – where she had arranged to meet Captain Marbel. It looked like being her lucky night after all!
Author:  shesings [ Fri Jan 21, 2011 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
:shock: :shock: :D :D :shock: :shock: :D :D
Author:  sealpuppy [ Fri Jan 21, 2011 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 20/01
abbeygirl wrote:
Excellent! Just time to nip upstairs, throw on the lucky bloomers

:shock: Wouldn't we all love a pair of lucky bloomers? What larks! :D
Author:  janetbrown23 [ Fri Jan 21, 2011 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
You mean you haven't got any sealpuppy? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
Where does one purchase such a thing?

Thankyou! I loved the names :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
:lol: :lol: :lol: Marvellous!
Author:  shazwales [ Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
Brilliant :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Thank you,just reread this from the start .
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
Sorry got distracted by something else!

Dacia Parsons was a little tired and a little emotional as well. This fact was possibly attributable to a positively gargantuan consumption of champagne at the Club, but was definitely responsible for her inability to sneak unobtrusively back into the house several hours after the household had retired for the night. It was also unfortunate that Miss Josephine Bettany was renowned as a light sleeper, the faintest whisper out of place sufficient to tumble her out of her slumbers. The sound of Dacia tripping over an artistically placed side table, followed by a pained and embitterd “Blasht!” was therefore more than sufficient impetus to awaken her from her healthy, horlicks- induced slumbers.

“Rob! Did you hear that?” whispered Jo in a stentorian undertone. Madge had been attempting to teach her that a muted undertone carried less far at night than a whisper, but it was very much a work in progress.

Rob – who wasn’t blessed with the same hyper sensitivity to sound – was, however, indeed now awake – although this was a result of Joey’s assault on her eardrums, rather than the sounds issuing from elsewhere in the bungalow. “What’s the matter Joey?” she enquired sleepily.

“I thought I heard something! Perhaps it’s a burglar! I’m jolly well going to see if it is!” and suiting the action to the words, Joey leapt out of bed, found her lime green winceyette dressing gown, and made for the door!

She was halted by a stifled shriek from the Robin. “Joey! You cannot go! You promised Madge that you would never again go off by yourself or put yourself in danger!”

Joey stopped still, conscience-striken as she recalled that occasion. Madge – her beautiful dark eyes swimming with tears as they had fished a half dead Joey from the lake, where she had impetuously dived in to rescue a small girl’s pet dog – begging her to make such a promise. And Joey had agreed.

For a moment she stood, uncertain. Then she stiffened, her spine straightened by decision. “Madge would not expect me to stand by and listen whilst our hosts are robbed or murdered in their beds!” And on the word she made for the door. The Robin with a sigh of regret for the lost hours of sweet slumber, also dragged herself out of bed, and silently followed Joey out of the bedroom and into the dimly lit hall. She supposed that someone would inevitably have to go for a doctor in the end – with the amount of practice she had had, it might as well be her……
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Jan 28, 2011 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/01
Oh dear me! :lol: There's a lot that Madge wouldn't expect, isn't there?

Thankyou!
Author:  Alison H [ Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/01
:lol: :lol: Loving this.
Author:  Abi [ Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/01
abbeygirl wrote:
She supposed that someone would inevitably have to go for a doctor in the end – with the amount of practice she had had, it might as well be her……


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Marvellous!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/01
Thanks, this is wonderful :D
Author:  chris84 [ Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/01
Thanks this is brilliant :D.
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/01
Poor Dacia, she won't know what's hit her! (Imagining Joey in lime green winceyette dressing gown :shock: :lol: )
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/01
“Ok! whosh gone and moved the door!” came a very disgruntled voice from the sitting room. “Where is you door? Here doory doory! Ouch!” the latter was accompanied by a thud as Dacia, unsure of the exact whereabouts of the beautifully carved, very solid Indian coffee table, rather painfully re-discovered its location. Tempted to express her extreme displeasure, Dacia retained sufficient command of her senses to realise that letting rip n the middle of the living room in the middle of the night when she had been supposed to have been long in her bed, may not be the most sensible of ideas. Instead she got a cushion, pressed it firmly to her mouth, and then proceeded to bitterly bemoan the perfidity of modern furniture.

As Joey – followed sleepily by the Robin – arrived outside the door, they heard the muttering from inside. “See Rob! I was Right! There are burglars! I’ll just rush in and tell them to give themselves up and then we can tie them up and they’ll be waiting for the Colonel and Dacia in the morning. They’ll have a lovely surprise!” And before the Robin could protest, Joey had flung open the door and as she switched in the light cried out “Stay where you are! I’m armed and dangerous!”

Quite how her hairbrush could be termed an offensive weapon was something which the Robin briefly allowed herself to consider – but as Joey simultaneously flung open the door and switched on the light, it quickly became clear to the Robin that she had other – more pressing problems to deal with…

“But… Dacia? I mean Miss Parsons?” spluttered Joey who was suffering from a combination of huge disappointment at being deprived of her burglars, and shock at seeing the sophisticated and urbane Miss Parsons, sprawled over a wooden coffee table, muttering really rather vulgar imprecations into an embroidered silk cushion.

Dacia looked up and saw Joey. The sight of her lime green winceyette dressing gown for some reason made her regret that second – or was it the third? – who knew? – bottle of champagne. This really was the absolute and total tin lid. This had truly been the day from hell! She had been so chuffed at dumping her guests – and had gone haring over to the officer’s club, lucky silk bloomers at the ready. A couple of glasses of champers had well and truly gotten her in the mood for a little rumpy pumpy and she had dragged Captain Marbel off into the bushes. It possibly may not have been the most tactful thing to do – to laugh hysterically at the teeny tiny wiener he presented for her attention – and certainly it did nothing for her prospects of having a hot dog… but honestly! No wonder his car was always in for repair – that was one chap who needed a new ruler! If that was ten inches… well… Anyway – Captain Marbel went from being at attention to being at ease – and there was no way of getting him back on parade. Dacia decided that champagne was the better part of valour and consumed enough of the stuff to sink the average class two battleship before making her way disconsolately home.

“But I say Miss Parsons what on earth are you doing here at this time of night?” exclaimed Joey in stentorian tones.

“Shh…!” exclaimed the Robin and Joey looked at her small sister in total amazement.
Author:  Abi [ Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh dear, poor Dacia....

:lol:
Author:  JS [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
Think quickly Dacia - I suspect they'll believe anything!
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
:lol: I think Joey'll believe anything as well!
Author:  janetbrown23 [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
I'm not quite so sure about the Robin believing anything. :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
I'm wondering what Robin is about to say, thanks :D
Author:  chris84 [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
Poor Dacia. :D :D
Author:  shesings [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
Poor girl - a disappointing encounter then Joey!
Author:  abbeygirl [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 31/01
Apologies for any illusion shattering in the next few posts!

The Robin had fairly quickly summed up Dacia’s condition. She had become used to the sight of a lady in a condition often described as “on the go” or having “dipped too deeply” although her loyalty to Madge meant that her slide into dipsomania would remain a secret as long as the Robin had breath in her body.

It had started so innocuously – just a few glasses of the light country wine they favoured at mealtimes – but then as Jem spent longer and longer at the San, building up the TB business, Madge was increasingly left on her own. She had given up all her interest in the brothel business on her marriage - she was just a shareholder now - and to be quite frank she was bored – lonely, bored and missing “it” more than a little bit. When Jem was there, he was often too tired, and when he could raise the energy it was little more than a wham bam, thank you Ma’am, sort of affair which made her more than a little nostalgic for some of the more adventurous requests she had had to accommodate in the early days of the brothel. And on some days – usually when Jem had called to say he would not be coming home again that night - one bottle slipped into another, until the Robin would find her in the Salon, slumped in her chair, yet another empty bottle of wine by her side. The Robin would sigh, and somehow manage to get Madge to bed before anyone else could see her in that condition.

Dacia was a hair’s breath away from passing out, as Rob’s experienced eyes could tell. It was always better to get them to bed while they were still upright – easier than dragging them along - so she acted promptly.

“Come on Dacia!” she said bracingly “Let’s get you to bed…”

“Did you move the door? I jus know it was there when I left …. Oh there’s two of them now! Which one are we going to use?”

“I’ll think about it when we get there. Joey darling could you get the other side? She’s a little bit heavier than she looks? Joey!” she continued – a little more impatiently as Joey – her black eyes almost starting out of her head in her astonishment - was showing no signs of moving.. “Some help here?!” and Joey still stunned at the air of decision which surrounded the Robin, came to do as she was bid..

“What’s the matter with her Rob? Why has she started singing?” asked Joey humbly– still amazed that she should be looking to her little adopted sister for answers – but this was not the same Rob! This was a woman, mature and self assured.

“Joey dear – let’s just get Dacia to bed – and then we’ll have a little talk…Let’s just say for the moment that she has a touch of sunstroke, and leave it at that shall we?”

“A wiener no bigger than my thumb!” suddenly proclaimed Dacia – choosing that moment to become lucid – well at least to the Robin, Joey it had to be said had absolutely no idea why her hostess was talking about catering arrangements at this time of night.

“Bed Dacia!” she repeated, hoping to cut her off before any more revelations could be made, but the words had obviously set off a chain reaction in Dacia’s mind. “That’s what I thought too!” she complained “but my prospects shrivelled before my eyes! So instead of a little winkie - I had a little drinkie…”

“More than one!” muttered Rob under her breath – but her sotto voce was evidently not sotto enough as Joey – her eyes round and wide as could be – exclaimed “Rob! I say! I think Dacia might be a little – well you know – a little the worse for wear…should we get the Colonel do you think?”

“No Joey. I think that would be a very bad idea. If you help me – we can get Dacia to bed and she can sleep it off…”

“I was looking forward to my hot dog!” mourned Dacia.

Joey stopped again. “Why on earth is she so obsessed with food?”

“She isn’t” replied Rob shortly.

“But…”

“Joey darling…. Just help me get Dacia to bed and I’ll explain everything later….”

And Joey – although eaten up by curiosity - had perforce to agree.
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
Poor Madge :lol: . & EBD's young Robin was too good to be true anyway!
Author:  janetbrown23 [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
Yes, I thought Rob would know all about it somehow.
Author:  keren [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
So how does Robin know all about all this?
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
:shock: What on earth has the Robin been up to? :lol: :lol:

Thankyou!
Author:  jayj [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
Great stuff! Poor, innocent Joey... :D
Author:  Abi [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
I hope Robin breaks it to Joey gently.... :lol:
Author:  Joanne [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
Makes you think again about Robin's retreat into a 'nunnery', doesn't it?! :wink:
Author:  Chatelaine [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
Joanne wrote:
Makes you think again about Robin's retreat into a 'nunnery', doesn't it?! :wink:


:shock: :shock: :shock:

And there was I about to plead for Robin not to be sent off to the convent as her skills are too valuable for them to be wasted there!

Difficult to pick out a "best" bit, but this one had me giggling at my desk:

Quote:
She had become used to the sight of a lady in a condition often described as “on the go” or having “dipped too deeply” although her loyalty to Madge meant that her slide into dipsomania would remain a secret as long as the Robin had breath in her body.


And I had forgotten why Madge and Joey were in the Tyrol in the first place. . . :roll: [Eyes rolled at self, not at abbeygirl or the story!]
Author:  abbeygirl [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 1/02
Thank you for the comments - much appreciated.....


“Why was Dacia singing Wee Willie Winkie all the way up the stairs Rob?” asked Joey as they finally re-entered their room. “And why was she talking about hot dogs? And…”

Robin raised her eyes heavenwards as she looked at the complete and utter innocence shining from Joey’s eyes. It wasn’t healthy to be that unaware – after all her sister had established a brothel for goodness sake! If she – the carefully protected Robin – had managed to have a working knowledge of the horizontal gymnastics practised in and around Briesau, then how on earth had Joey managed to let all hint of such knowledge pass her by? Perhaps it was all part and parcel of her refusal to contemplate the very idea of growing up, taking that final, decisive step into adulthood?

“Joey darling, I think it’s time we had a little chat.” Robin said gently. She really wasn’t looking forward to having this conversation, but honestly it was all getting a little silly now.

Joey looked a little bewildered, but obediently perched on the bed. “What is it Rob?”

“Joey dear. I think we need to have a little talk about..” Rob paused – she had momentarily been about to say the Birds and the Bees, but thankfully just in time remembered Joey’s little phobia concerning that term. She would have to be bold. “Sex.” She finished firmly.

Joey looked blank for a moment and then her face cleared. “Oh you mean that yucky jigsaw thingy! When the man’s doodlie whatsit tries to fit inside a woman’s you know and then explodes after a while. Why?”

For a moment the Robin nearly bottled out. She could now quite easily understand why Madge had made just the one stab at resolving Joey’s little problem. But gamely she battled on.

“Actually Joey – it’s really not yucky at all…”

“Rob!” Joey gasped.

“Oh no – I haven’t done it. Oh look Joey – you know Dr Jem and Madge have always hoped that I would never marry. Well when Madge sat me down and explained it all to me, she gave me this which she said would mean I shouldn’t be too unhappy, as having one of these would mean I wouldn’t really miss anything about married life…. well apart from always having to adjust toilet seats and darn lots of socks anyway…”

Joey looked curiously at the strange object before her eyes. It was pale pink in colour, quite large in diameter and columnar in shape. As she looked at it in Robin’s hand, she had a series of vague flashbacks. That strange game of charades at Dick and Mollie’s house? And perhaps even further back there was something about the San and that obnoxious doctor? But the images remained unclear and Joey waited with a rampantly rising curiosity to discover exactly what this amazing thing did.

She leapt out of her skin as the thing in Rob’s hand started to vibrate wildly!

“Its All right Joey – that’s what it’s supposed to do!” reassured the Robin. “It all adds to the fun apparently… Now I’ll just demonstrate what happens next… and then you can have a go. I’ve got a nice brand new one somewhere……”

Some time later…..

“And you say that men can do this to you as well” said Joey faintly? A cigarette dangling languidly from her lips as she contemplated whether she actually had the energy to move in the immediate future, and decided that actually she didn’t.

“Well according to Madge not quite as well – but you don’t have to keep recharging the batteries….”

“I see” said Joey slowly…. “I wonder if it’s hard to get them to do it?” she added reflectively.

“Apparently not…. At least that what Madge said…” The Robin informed her. “In fact, as I understand it the problem is usually the opposite.”
Author:  JennieP [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
Just been asked by two people in the office whether I was laughing or crying. Crying with laughter just about covered it as I worked through 3 updates in a row... This has made a rubbish day awesome.
Author:  Chatelaine [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I will never look at Das Engelkind in the same light ever again. . .

Excellent stuff, as usual!
Author:  JS [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
:shock:

But in a good way :)
Author:  Emma A [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
Fabulous! I do love Robin's enlightening of Joey - such a reversal of roles!

Thanks, abbeygirl.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 7:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
You have almost certainly just ruined the Robin forever for me!

Oh, :lol: at Joey's first thoughts on it. So very, wildly, somehow true!

Thankyou!
Author:  shesings [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
I am sore from laughing - and feeling quite sorry for Jack! Will he ever know he will always be compared (unfavourably?)to a battery operated device?
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
Oh dear, and we all think of Robin as being so pure and innocent!!! It's just as well I'm on my own in here, because I'm giggling wildly at the images this section conjures up in my (old enough to know better) mind!! That picture of needing to recharge the batteries!!! :lol: :lol:

Thank you, Abbeygirl, for brightening my day!!
Author:  Abi [ Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
Ah, this has cheered me up nicely, despite the prospect of getting up at five o'clock tomorrow morning.... :lol:
Author:  macyrose [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
I had to stop myself from laughing out loud when I read this since I was at work. Robin and Jo playing with vibrators! Hilarious! :lol:
Author:  keren [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
Maybe someone neeeds to warn Joey that one is not supposed to "get men to do it"

(and of the possible result!)
Author:  abbeygirl [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 2/02
Just a baby post today - sorry .........


“You never did tell me why Dacia was talking about hot dogs….” said Joey idly, still languidly lounging on her bed.

The Robin choked.

“Well… hmm.. It’s slang.” she said eventually after some thought.

“Oh! Then I suppose Madge wouldn’t really like me using that expression then?”

“I think we could safely say you would be paying a fine in the collection box, yes” replied the Robin dryly.

There was silence for a moment and the Robin was just starting to breathe again when Joey said “But what does it mean?”

“Umm.. well it’s the same as saying sink the soldier” then as there was no response from Joey apart from a raised eyebrow, she continued “or doing a feather bed jig? Bagging the Bishop? A four legged frolic? Parking the yacht in hair harbour?” but as there was still no sign of understanding from Joey continued desperately “Putting the doodlie whatsit in the You know”

“Ah!” said Joey, enlightenment illuminating her face.

There was another pause.

“So if that’s what Dacia was talking about, maybe she would know where I could find a man willing to let me borrow his doodlie whatsit for a while?” said Joey reflectively. “I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

The Robin choked
Author:  Alison H [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
Robin seems to be quite an expert :shock: :lol: .
Author:  judithR [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
Oh dear. :shock: :shock:

If it wouldn't give people the wrong idea I'd say I love you for this...
Author:  chris84 [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
:shock: :shock:. Thank you :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
Robin isn't the only one choking! Don't do it, Joey! :lol:

(Oh, grief, the images!!)
Author:  keren [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
It's a shame Molly sent her away.
she could have taught her a bit about life
Author:  JS [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
Quote:
The Robin choked


The chicken?

(sorry)

Thanks Abbeygirl - am thinking it was lucky that the Robin didn't get stopped at customs.
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 3/02
Sorry - seems to be another little bitty post today.... Naturally any reference to hangovers and the symptoms/suffering thereof are purely from my imagination...


“But why won’t Dacia want to be woken up now. It’s ever so late – nearly half past six!” complained Joey, anxious to put her plan into action.

Rob sighed.

“Don’t you remember Dacia was a little unwell last night? I think she’s probably going to want to lie in for a while today. ” After last night The Robin felt that she had already gone above and beyond the call of duty, and the prospect of explaining a hangover with its subsequent lifestyle modifications to Joey was not one which held great appeal for the younger girl.

“Oh all right then. I’ll just go practice my singing until she wakes up..” and before the Robin had time to protest, Joey had departed, heading for the lounge with its beautiful Bechstein piano. The Robin struggled briefly with her conscience, but as it put up only a token protest, she was able to snuggle back down under the cool cotton sheets with a clear mind, and was soon fast asleep once more.

*******

It was the sound of an animal clearly in mortal agony that slowly impinged on Dacia’s consciousness, rather than the rising of the morning sun or the sound of the household busying themselves with their daily tasks. However, a quick internal assessment of her condition made it clear that additional restorative slumber was urgently required, and in order to aid this blissful condition, she summoned – quietly - one of the ever attentive house servants.

“Get Ranjit to go and put that animal out of its misery immediately…” she ordered – her voice carefully modulated to just above a whisper.

“But Missy Sahib! There is no animal!” her maid Anila replied, “Perhaps you are having bad dreams, no?”

“But I can hear it now!” exclaimed Dacia – inadvertently and unadvisedly opening her eyes.

“No No Missy! That is the other Missy Sahib – Missy Joey. She is singing!”

“Well go and shoot her instead then.” Dacia replied, and without waiting for a response, flopped back into bed.
Author:  Alison H [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
:lol: She just needs Mary-Lou there yelling in her clarion tones now!
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
Don't think even Joey's 'choirboy' like voice would be a welcome sound to anyone with a hangover like Dacia's must be - but I do hope her maid doesn't take her mistress' orders seriously!! :) :)

Thanks, Abbeygirl, this continues to brighten my wintery days!
Author:  shesings [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Chatelaine [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
Elder in Ontario wrote:
Don't think even Joey's 'choirboy' like voice would be a welcome sound to anyone with a hangover like Dacia's must be - but I do hope her maid doesn't take her mistress' orders seriously!! :) :)


Oh, I do - just think of what fun it would be! Dacia could go back to the Tyrol to take Jo's place, and Jack really would live happily ever after then! :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
:lol:

I can well imagine the shock; poor Robin, I fear she is going to have a lot more explaining to do, and she might regret starting Joey down this path!

Thankyou!
Author:  chris84 [ Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
:lol: :lol: Poor Dacia and Robin. Thank you :D .
Author:  Abi [ Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
Ooh, two lovely updates for me today! I do feel rather sorry for poor Robin... not to mention Dacia. :lol:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 4/02
Dacia managed to doze through “how, now brown cow” and the arpeggios which tripped lightly from Joey’s tongue, but the crescendoing (too much) and diminuendoing (not enough) along to a vowel sound which sound like a wolf in full howl, was too much to bear and Dacia reluctantly concluded that the solace of further slumber was to be denied to her.

It was hardly surprising in such circumstances that when Dacia entered the breakfast parlour a short time later, her temper was somewhat frayed. She took her seat, and ordered “Black coffee. A pot.” from one of the ever attentive house servants, before belatedly adding “please” at the end of the sentence. She merely shuddered when the servant asked if she wanted kidney for her breakfast and turned green when on glancing round the room she discovered Joey’s plate piled high with kidney, black pudding and lashings of tomatoes.

At the sight of her hostess, and after hastily swallowing a mouthful of fried bread with her kidney, Joey bounded towards her like an overgrown puppy and exclaimed “Oh goodie! Miss Parsons I’m so glad you’re up! I want to ask you a small favour.”

“Coffee….” was all that Dacia, in yearning tones could manage. And as Joey looked ready to burst into speech again, halted the would-be flow of words through the simple expedient of putting her hand over Joey’s mouth. This meant that Dacia had one hand free to grasp the hot steaming black lava that nestled darkly in the ancient bone china cup and which offered hope that she would soon be able to face the remainder of the day with a degree of tolerance, even possibly something approaching fortitude. Slowly she raised it to her mouth and let the molten liquid flow into her receptive throat. As it cascaded through her body, the entrails of caffeine actively seeking out vital nerve endings, Dacia could feel her starter motor kicking into gear, and her engine hesitatingly started into life. She waited a brief moment and then – reluctantly – released Joey.

It had been surprise that had kept Joey quiet, rather than the pressure from Dacia’s hand, but once removed, it quickly became clear that the cessation had been a purely temporary phenomenon.

“Miss Parsons!” ejaculated a rather ruffled Joey.

“Sorry about that” smiled Dacia sweetly– who wasn’t, but didn’t want Joey complaining to her father, “I was just feeling a trifle under the weather, and needed some coffee before I could deal with any kind of noise or excitement at all. It’s my nerves you understand – and any loud noises before coffee can have a catastrophic effect….”

“I say! I’m terribly sorry! I hadn’t realised you were delicate. My little sister Rob is as well, and we have to be terribly careful of her.” Joey was very apologetic, if a little puzzled. Dacia Parsons hadn’t looked terribly delicate last night… but anyway, this wasn’t getting the baby a new bonnet was it!

“Miss Parsons, Rob tells me that you may know where I might borrow a Doodlie Whatsit.”

“I didn’t say she would Joey – just that there was a chance..” protested the Robin.

“A Doodlie Whatsit?” queried Dacia – never having come across the term before.

“Yes – you know – the man’s Doodlie whatsit – the thingy that goes in the woman’s you know…. Well I tried out Rob’s Rabid Rabbit last night and she says that Ma – my sister – says that a man’s doodlie whatsit isn’t quite as good, but it doesn’t need recharging, and so I thought I’d like to try one for myself, and see which one I liked best. Do you think you might be able to get hold of one for me? I say … Miss Parsons? Are you all right?”

Dacia pinched herself, hard. It had finally happened. The Reverend Mother had told her about the evils of drink, but she hadn’t believed her. She was obviously suffering from some kind of hallucination. Maybe she was really still asleep – and in a minute she would wake up and find herself in her nice comfortable bed. She closed her eyes, and then opened them again. The first thing that met her eyes was a concerned Joey. It wasn’t a dream then, maybe she had wandered into the Twilight Zone by mistake?
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I can well imagine her fear - I'm not entirely sure that this isn't all in my head, either.

Thankyou!
Author:  Alison H [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
:lol: :lol: :lol: Poor Dacia!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
Oh this is wonderful, thank you so much :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
Author:  Abi [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
:lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: Poor Dacia; what a hideous shock!
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
Just as well I'd finished drinking my coffee earlier - I'd definitely have been choking into it!!! Wonderfully far fetched, Abbeygirl, but if it finally awakens Dacia to the perils of over indulgence in alcohol, it will be a good thing.

Thanks for the day brightener!!
Author:  shesings [ Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Emma A [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
What has Robin started, I wonder? :shock:

Thanks, abbeygirl :lol:
Author:  chris84 [ Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
Poor Dacia :lol: :lol: :lol:. Thank you. :D
Author:  abbeygirl [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
“So what do you girls have planned for today?” came the gravelled voice of Colonel Parsons, who had just entered the breakfast parlour in search of his daughter and their guests.

“Oh I’m hoping that Dacia will be able to find me a Doodlie Whatsit” broke in Joey before anyone could stop her. Dacia and Rob turned horrified eyes on each other, and then acted in tandem. Rob stood firmly on Joey’s foot, and the pain from this as well as its completely unexpected nature - particularly when allied to the dagger look on her small sister’s usually sunny expression – proved sufficient to cut off any further outbursts from that particular quarter. In the meantime Dacia – her befuddled mind suddenly clearing given the urgency of the situation - hastily explained to her puzzled father that Joey and the Robin were hoping to do some souvenir shopping later that morning.

“Well Dacia’s the one for that!” he exclaimed, and beaming genially on the party, pulled out a rather battered pocketbook and extracted several notes. “To treat yourselves a little!” he explained.

The girls were effusive in their thanks, and promising to catch up with them at dinner, the Colonel left for the barracks.

Once positive that he had in fact left the room, Dacia rounded on Joey “What on earth are you playing at!” she demanded “talking about that sort of thing in front of my father!”

Joey was completely mystified “Shouldn’t I have done? And Rob, that jolly well hurt you know!” she added plaintively.

The Robin sank wearily into a chair. She had created this monster – she had now to try and force the genie back into its bottle.

“Joey – there are certain … rules or perhaps conventions might be a better way of putting it – associated with this sort of thing. You see respectable girls are supposed to know nothing about sex, let alone want to um indulge.”

Dacia took up the tale. “I know! I think Papa must be terribly bad at it – because mama just used to say there were two ways of dealing with the situation when one’s husband insisted on his conjugal rights – that’s the Doodlie Whatsit in the woman’s You Know – “ the latter was an aside to Joey, who had looked somewhat perplexed by the term. “One either claimed to have a headache, in which case one was spared one’s husband’s attentions, or one lay back and thought of England. I have to admit that did put me off for a while – but then I discovered Jacques – he was the dancing master at Miss Milsom’s Finishing School for Young Ladies – and well he demonstrated some of his better moves and one thing led to another – and let’s just say I knew I’d been tangoed!” She sighed lost for a moment in a happy reminiscence of Jacques abilities at the quick step, and Rob continued.

“Basically if one is unmarried, and female, one is never supposed to have heard of sex, let alone want it. On the other hand if you are male, and unmarried, one is supposed to think about it all the time. A male is supposed to try every which way to hide the salami, a woman must resist any such suggestions – at least she does if she wants to make a good marriage later on… It does seem very odd I know…..”

“But if I can’t talk about it, how will a man know that I’d like to give it a bash?

The Robin, who had overheard Dick telling Mollie about the fate of Capatin Reynaud’s most precious possession at Joey’s hands, shuddered inwardly at the unfortunate phraseology.

“Generally speaking, if a man asks you if he can go for a dive in the dark, and you don’t immediately slap his face, they get the message” Dacia explained wryly.
Author:  Emma A [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 7/02
It was hard to pick out one particular bit of this, abbeygirl, but I did love this:
abbeygirl wrote:
...“Generally speaking, if a man asks you if he can go for a dive in the dark, and you don’t immediately slap his face, they get the message” Dacia explained wryly.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank-you!
Author:  Alison H [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
:lol: The worrying thing is that a lot of the girls at the CS in the early days might really have been this naive!
Author:  Joanne [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
I think I'm more worried that they might be as knowledgeable as the Robin! :D :D

Thanks, loving this!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
Joanne wrote:
I think I'm more worried that they might be as knowledgeable as the Robin! :D :D


My thoughts exactly!

This is as brilliant as ever - thankyou! :lol:
Author:  chris84 [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
Thank you. :lol:
Author:  janetbrown23 [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
Splutters :roll: :roll: :roll:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Abi [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
:mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: I can't help wondering where Robin found all this out!
Author:  Chatelaine [ Thu Feb 10, 2011 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
Y'know, I knew there had to be a reason why I liked the Robin. . .! :lol:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 9/02
Sorry for the delay - I have been wrestling with Joey's conscience - but I think I've won......



“It’s really quite simple Joey! Society has decreed that if you are female and unmarried the concept of sex simply does not exist. Men exist solely as dance partners and potential husbands. The penalties for breaking these rules are severe and for many – probably most, in fact – the risks are simply too great. Even to know of the existence – let alone the potential usage of - Man’s Best Friend – is to invite the suspicion that the fruit may already have been plucked from the tree. No Joey I’m not going to explain – you’re a writer Rob tells me – well for goodness sake use your imagination!” Dacia - who had begun her explanation indignantly, as in the best tradition of the suffragettes raging against the injustices meted out to women – ended it on a rather more irritable note, an expression caused by the look of growing incomprehension on Joey’s face.

“But I don’t understand..” began Joey in tones of bewilderment... but she was interrupted by Dacia who gave a sigh of exasperation “Oh for goodness sake! I give up! Right when I say Man’s Best Friend...”

Joey interrupted Dacia in her turn saying firmly “Oh I don’t mean that! Of course you mean his Doodlie Whatsit don’t you? What I don’t understand is if all that Society guff is true – how come you... er... um... have .. you know....” and at this point Joey wound down, unsure of the best way of continuing without causing horrendous offence to her hostess.

Dacia’s face lightened. “Its simply a matter of Location, Location, Location! Basically I’m not looking for a husband here. Eventually when Papa has completely forgotten my last trip to England, I’ll be sent back and “brought out” – you know presented, balls and all that sort of gubbins. Then I’ll do the social circuit for a few months and hopefully find a chap that well – won’t be too dreadful to live with... I’ll have to settle down at that point – at least until I’ve produced the heir and a spare – so I figure I might as well have my fun now.... But the key point is that it doesn’t matter if the men I do a quick two step with subsequently no longer regard me as suitable marriage material – because I don’t want to marry them anyway. And for them poor darlings – it saves them going mad with frustration – never a good thing in heat like this...”

“So in a way you are performing a national service?” queried Joey thoughtfully.
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Feb 15, 2011 7:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 14/02
Well, that's one way of looking at it :lol: .
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 14/02
Oh dear oh dear oh dear!
Author:  chris84 [ Thu Feb 17, 2011 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 14/02
:lol: :lol: :lol:.
Author:  Abi [ Sat Feb 19, 2011 12:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 14/02
Can't wait to see what happens next..... :lol:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 14/02
“So – if I do ever decide I want to marry – and I think I might have been a bit hasty dismissing the idea out of hand” said Joey thoughtfully, remembering her oft made assertion and her sister’s knowing smile. – I’ve got to you know….get in some practice - whilst I’m in India?”

“That’s pretty much the idea” agreed Dacia.

“ Well what are we waiting for!” and Joey leapt up, ready to go then and there. However, Dacia pointed out that there were one or two preparations that had to be made first – she vowed to herself that that hideous vest was going onto the fire before many more minutes had passed or her name wasn’t Dacia Parsons! - and gently but firmly she led Joey off to her own bedroom, the Robin following curiously behind.

******

Dacia still wasn’t quite sure exactly what had gone wrong. If she said so herself she had performed a marvellous job on Joey, had taken her down to the Officers Club and introduced her round to several of the more dashing officers in her father’s regiment. There were no shortages of takers, and it was not long before one of them had skilfully extracted Joey from the mass and had taken her outside to enjoy a little fresh air. She had not expected to see Joey for a good hour or so, and had settled down to enjoy herself, flirting her way round the room.

She was in the middle of a very promising conversation with a rather attractive subaltern, when Joey suddenly reappeared – sans escort and anxiously looking round the room for her hostess.

It had only been half an hour since Joey and her escort had departed for a quick sail on the love boat and Joey – quite apart from the fact she was alone – did not look like a woman who had hit the heights. As she looked at the slight air of bewilderment on Joey’s face, for some reason, Dacia had a sudden premonition that things had not gone as swimmingly as they might have done. Sighing, she went to collect Joey and dragged her back to the discreet table she had had the foresight to appropriate earlier, and signalled the ever attentive waiters for another bottle of champagne. She had a feeling she was going to need it.

*******

“Well it seemed to all be going swimmingly. He seemed most appreciative of that new vest you made me wear. ”

“Raw spun silk, Belgian lace trimmed camisole actually with matching French DoDahs.” interrupted Dacia – who had had a severe struggle with her better nature before passing on those particular brand new items of intimate apparel….

“Isn’t that what I said ” queried Joey unperturbed by the interruption. “Anyway, then he took all his clothes off and I said “Oh! Perhaps everyone looks that funny with their clothes off… I must admit he did seem a little taken aback– but then pushed me onto the bed – and started to do this sort of kissy thing. I was lying there – waiting for him to get on with it – and then I noticed that the ceiling was really rather overdue for a lick of paint…”

“Joey! You didn’t say that did you?” gasped Dacia

“Why – was it a bit rude do you think? Oh do you mean he couldn’t afford to paint it and so I shouldn’t have noticed? Oh how insensitive of me!” and Joey groaned. “Madge is always saying that tact and I just can’t be in the same room together.”

Dacia actually contemplated trying to explain exactly what she had meant for more than a nano second, before a healthy instinct for self preservation kicked in.. “Never mind! Then what happened….?”

“Well I think I must of dozed off for a moment – gosh hope I didn’t snore or anything! - and I opened my eyes and said “sorry – did I miss anything?” and for some reason he got terribly cross and stormed off…”
Author:  shesings [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Alison H [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
:lol: Oh dear.
Author:  Chatelaine [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
I think I have just fallen in love with Joey. . . :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Joanne [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
I wonder if she did miss anything much?
:D :D :D :D
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Joanne wrote:
I wonder if she did miss anything much?
:D :D :D :D


Clearly not!!
Author:  JB [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
I think Joey needs a little more preparation, Dacia.

Almost choked on my Mini Egg reading that instalment.
Author:  Abi [ Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh dear, oh dear!
Author:  Emma A [ Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
:lol: :lol: FABULOUS! I think Dacia deserves a medal...

Thanks, abbeygirl.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
SLOC is giving me strange looks and I am failing miserably at trying to explain why I am laughing. Sad to say the name is now starting to take on another meaning cos of this drabble :roll:
Author:  abbeygirl [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 1:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 21/02
Fiona Mc wrote:
. Sad to say the name is now starting to take on another meaning cos of this drabble :roll:


Oh Dear.... and we haven't even got to the punchline yet.....

All three girls were holding a post-mortem in Joey and the Robin’s room. Dacia was anxious to know just what had gone wrong, as she simply couldn’t understand why Joey had been so unmoved by the selection of men she had selflessly (she had had her eye on one or two of them herself) introduced to the younger girl. They had been gorgeous – and all of them dressed in scarlet regimentals! Dacia was almost swooning herself at the thought of all those splendid cockades, but Joey was still frowning as she tried to find an answer.

“But don’t any of them make you quiver a little with lust? You know make your face a little flushed? Make you go slightly weak at the knees?” she prompted, but Joey continued to look blank and quite frankly Dacia was puzzled by Joey’s lack of reaction to the best man flesh that the Coorg could offer.

“And you say there is no-one waiting for you at home?”

“No… At least.. no ..oooo…” replied Joey, but she suddenly didn’t sound so convincing and unbidden to her mind came the image of a tall, blonde man, with eyes so piercingly blue that they could cut diamonds. That well muscled chest, usually covered in that slightly too tightly fitting crisp white coat, and that special smile, the one now she thought about it, he saved just for her… But Jack Maynard? Why she’d known him for years! Could he really be the reason she was not attracted to any of these other men – those which Dacia seemed to find so appealing? Was it that for her, the lure of a doctor was far, far greater than the appeal of a man in uniform? It appeared so, because now she concentrated on that image, she suddenly realised what Dacia meant. Yes she could indeed feel her legs weakening, and her breath started to quicken almost imperceptibly. She sat down, suddenly, as the full realisation of her predicament hit her. Like her beloved sister – she too had fallen for the lure of the man in white… but he obviously didn’t feel the same way about her – otherwise he would surely have said something.. What should she do? Was there a chance of forgetting his all-to manly charms if she threw herself into the carnal consolations of the Coorg? Or was she doomed to lust longingly – but hopelessly – after Jack Maynard for the rest of her life?
Author:  Alison H [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
EBD never made Jack sound that fanciable :lol: .
Author:  JS [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
I don't much like the sound of the too-tigh white coat, mind you.

Thanks Abbeygirl - I saw you'd updated and used it as my 'reward' for finishing a piece of work! And it was well worth it, I must say.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
:lol: I like the sound of this Jack! (Though he does sound worryingly like my ex) Is there any of him to spare please?

Thankyou for the update!
Author:  Abi [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
Ah, Jack, of course. :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 3:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
That's one way of looking at Jack I didn't think of. :lol: Thanks


BTW I know you haven't said what the punchline is but am starting to think the worse. And consideing the other half refers to himself as SLOC.......
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
Fiona Mc wrote:
BTW I know you haven't said what the punchline is but am starting to think the worse. And consideing the other half refers to himself as SLOC.......

Oh dear.........


“There is someone” Dacia crowed! “You’ve been holding out on me. Who is he?” she demanded, fascinated.

“I can tell you..” interposed Robin quietly.

Joey’s head whipped round to her adopted sister. “Rob! What do you mean! How can you know – I’ve only just realised myself!”

“Oh for goodness sake Josephine Mary Bettany! Everyone within a ten mile radius of Briesau knows that Jack Maynard has been in love with you for years! Well that is with one notable exception of course…..” and with that, she looked very pointedly at Joey.

“Oh…” replied that young lady, rather blankly “I see.”

“But why hasn’t he said anything to her beforehand? Is he hopelessly ineligible?” wondered Dacia – who rather bizarrely given the amount of trouble it had caused her - seemed to have forgotten Joey’s long standing hang ups with the concept of men in general and their Doodlie Whatsits in particular…

Rob – who hadn’t - reminded her.

“Oh yes.. I see that might have proved a trifle awkward for him” Dacia mused… “But that won’t be a problem now though will it? I mean – Joey has decided that she’s well up for it now – so all she has to do is make it clear that she no longer has her little problem, and Bob is your uncle! Everyone lives happily ever after..…” and she beamed widely at both Joey and the Robin.

“Ah….Yes…. Dacia dear, just as a matter of interest, do you happen to know a good way of telling your would-be future husband that thanks to the discovery of a well hung, vibrating rabbit, you not only no longer have a phobia about Doodlie Wotsits, but that you would actually rather like to test out the real thing and see how it compares?” said Robin – possibly somewhat sarcastically, but she had been sorely tried during the past few days…

A sudden silence fell on the room.

“I suppose that might be a little challenging….” Dacia agreed thoughtfully
Author:  Alison H [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/02
I feel quite sorry for Jack :lol: .
Author:  JS [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/02
I am grinning so much just imagining what's going to happen next, so I can't wait to see the real thing (hmm, wonder if Joey's feeling the same :lol: )
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 25/02
abbeygirl wrote:
“I suppose that might be a little challenging….” Dacia agreed thoughtfully


Understatement of the century there. :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/02
I don't know - if Jack is not only a true man but a proper doctor, he should just take it all calmly in his stride. In fact, I've been led to believe in certain cures for hysteria that used to be practiced, which is certainly something Joey could do with...

I vote she tell him! After consulting Jem first, of course :D

Thankyou!
Author:  Alison H [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/02
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
I don't know - if Jack is not only a true man but a proper doctor, he should just take it all calmly in his stride. In fact, I've been led to believe in certain cures for hysteria that used to be practiced, which is certainly something Joey could do with...



There was an episode of Casualty 1909 in which that particular cure was mentioned, and if it's on the BBC then it must be true, right :lol: ?

Er, moving swiftly on ...
Author:  Abi [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/02
:lol: I hope they manage to come up with something that won't terrify Jack too much!
Author:  abbeygirl [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update 28/02
I had a mental goal to finish this in February.... There is an epilogue - so hopefully I can post it before Midnight.... The end of this post has been written for months.... I just couldn't get Joey there before now!!!

Thank you all so much for your comments!!


The remainder of Joey and the Robin’s visit to Dacia went rather better than the beginning had. Dacia livened up some of the paper games her guests had suggested and Joey’s vocabulary expanded rapidly. In return for her education, Joey sang endless songs to Colonel Parsons – much to his delight – thus enabling Dacia to sneak off and inspect the members of her father’s regiment without being missed. They went on several trips – buying beautiful silks to take home – and exploring many famous monuments, as well as the beautiful countryside. On one trip they had been caught in a veritable flood and had been forced to take shelter in a hotel – the road back to Dacia’s being impassable until the rain stopped and the flood receded. Typically Joey’s only comment was that the experience would be good to put into a book! It was with real sadness that Dacia saw her guests depart, and she vowed to keep in touch.

“Hey ho! Back to Dick and Mollie’s to say our salaams or whatever the opposite is – and then we’re homeward bound!” said Joey cheerfully as they motored along – at a significantly more sedate speed than that which had marked their trip out.

“It will be nice to be home won’t it Joey?” remarked the Robin “I have missed Madge and Jem so!”

And although Joey usually eschewed any show of sentiment, she agreed wholeheartedly with the Robin. Madge had taken as best she might the place of a mother to Joey and this was the first long parting the two had endured. And of course for her there was the added frisson of the thought of seeing Dr Jack in the light of all the discoveries she had made – both about him – and herself.

******

The trip home on the boat seemed endless to Joey, although the Robin amused herself by flirting harmlessly with some of the better looking stewards – just to make sure they always got the best table in the restaurant – and Joey was pressed earnestly a number of times to sing at the evening concert. If it had been left to the entertainments officer, she would have been the only offering – but the usual collection of humorists, poetry recitalists and the amazing three legged man, also found there way on to the bill. It was notable that receipts from the bar rose sharply in tandem with the progression of the concert. Some cynical observers had previously suggested that there was a definite link there – but more kindly commentators dismissed it as the coincidence it indubitably was.

******

The reunion with Madge was highly emotional, and Joey nearly disgraced herself by bursting into tears as her sister’s loving arms welcomed her home. But she quickly recovered herself.

It took almost no time at all to settle back into their old comfortable routine – indeed Joey set to work immediately on a new book – based largely on the more publishable parts of their Indian experience. The first time she came across Dr Jack, she was strangely tongue tied and longed to find the words to tell him that she cared for him too. But she never seemed to have the opportunity. Dr Jack continued to treat her as he had always done – as a schoolgirl and the very near relative of his boss – which meant there was absolutely no chance of getting him into the sack unless she jumped on him – and Joey simply could not bring herself to do that.

“We’re going to have to do something drastic here!” said Rob firmly “Otherwise you and Jack will never get together. He hasn’t realised that you don’t have your little problem anymore and that you want to jiggle in the jumgle”

“I know!” groaned Joey in despair “I’ve done everything I can think of to let him know how I feel – apart from strip naked in front of him. But honestly Rob, I think that would be the only way to get through to him.”

“Well let’s leave that as last resort… I think I might have a cunning plan. How do you feel about going on a picnic? You, me, Hillary, Jeanne, Jack of course – oh and anyone else you can think of…”

“What?” Joey looked stunned. “I thought you were going to find a way to get us together!”

“I am” the Robin replied mysteriously “Trust me!”

*******

“No Hillary – I’m sure I heard someone following us.. We cannot go back that way – we must find another way home” the Robin said urgently to her companion. They had enjoyed the picnic and were now playing a game of hide and seek.

Hillary looked doubtfully at the Robin, but that young lady used her large black eyes to great effect and somewhat reluctantly – because she knew Joey would be worried when they did not reappear – Hillary agreed to the younger girl’s plan.

*******

“Jack! I can’t find the Robin!” Joey was distraught and clutched feverishly at the manly chest that rippled before her eyes.

Despite the urgency of the situation, Jack couldn’t help the thrill that ran through his body as he realised that his beloved Joey had turned to him in her distress.

Together they searched the plateau, until finally, reluctantly they had to give up the search and return to Die Rosen. It was there that Madge broke the news that the Robin was safe and sound. Joey collapsed into Dr Jack’s strong arms and he gently carried her into the salon. Some how in the desperate search for Robin her blouse had become ripped and underneath Jack could see a tantalising glimpse of what looked like a lacey green silk thing and the sight inflamed his senses.

“Oh Joey! My Darling!” he groaned, unable to control his feelings any longer.

“Oh Jack” murmured Joey and waitied.

Hastily they ripped each other’s clothes off and at the sight which eventually sprung to her eyes, Joey gasped with awe.. It was incredible – surely even bigger than the Rabbinator, the newest and latest version of Rob’s Rabid Rabbit that she had managed to track down at a discreet little shop in the Tyrolean mountains on her return from India.

“Oh Jack darling! What a comfortingly solid lump you have!”

And then there were no more words, just odd little moans from time to time. Madge, overhearing one such, hurried into the room, determined to proffer what words of comfort she might. At the sight that met her eyes, however, she hastily backed out of the room and went off to find Jem, waiting as she later explained until Joey and Jack came to their common or garden senses.
Author:  Alison H [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update again! 28/02
Well, that casts a whole new light on everything - and it makes a worrying amount of sense of it all :lol: :lol: .
Author:  Abi [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update again! 28/02
:lol: :lol: :lol: That's marvellous! Love Robin's devious plan to get them together.... :mrgreen:
Author:  Emma A [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update again! 28/02
:D :D That was fantastic, abbeygirl!

So loved your twisting of the famous words. I look forward to the epilogue.
Author:  abbeygirl [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort update again! 28/02
I forgot i had tweaked this a bit yesterday and didn't have the updated file at home... So here goes.... I guess it's probably back to Rosalie for a while - unless of course Joey pops up with any more startling revelations........

Thanks Everyone.


Epilogue.

“And that was it. We spent the next fifty years at it like rabbits – if you’ll excuse the expression” finished Joey cheerfully. “I admit towards the end, it was me doing the daily dosing – bit of a role reversal there – not only was it me dishing out the drugs instead of your father, but putting things to sleep was the last thing on my mind! If you catch my drift. Thank God for Viagra is what I say! Oh I do miss him you know” she added wistfully.

“What about Auntie Rob? I mean how did she manage? You know…?” got out Len, still in shock from this rewriting of ancient family history, and incredibly anxious not to delve too deeply into her parents evidently vigorous love life, and - she had to admit - desperately curious about the Robin’s post convent life.

“Oh that worked out fine! Jem managed to convince the mother superior that Rob’s Rabid Rabbit was a new machine which cured asthma…. The mother superior did try to argue that Rob showed no signs of such a condition – but Jem simply said it proved how good the device was… Madge kept her supplied with batteries.... and every now and then, would send a more up to date replacement…..”

It was – Len felt – almost inconceivable that the human jaw could drop as far as hers had today without suffering some kind of dislocation, but apparently it was indeed possible.

“Do shut your mouth dear – you’ll catch flies..” came the sleepy voice from the bed. Joey was dozing now, the effort of casting her mind back so far in the past having worn her out.

When she was sure her mother was safely ensconced in the land of nod, Len slowly got up from her beside. It was incredible! Impossible! She had gloried in her sexuality ever since Oxford, convinced if her raunchy rampage round the hallowed halls of Oxford were ever discovered that she would have been banned from the family post haste. Now it appeared she would simply have been greeted like a chip off the old block – or blocks she supposed if she was being completely accurate.

She moved slowly towards the door. Somehow the plans she had made for Reg’s return home had lost a little of their flavour. Idly she wondered why? Perhaps it was because for so many years she had gloried in her difference from her mother - the Doctor’s wife living sedately on the Platz and never experiencing anything of Real Life. One of the certainties of her life had vanished, and inevitably led her to question who she really was.

As she left Joey’s comfortable room, she caught sight of her reflection in a mirror. She looked into it, examining herself carefully and then softly muttered:

“Mirror Mirror on the Wall, I am my mother, after all….”

She sighed and left the building.

The End…
Author:  Alison H [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Brilliant!
Author:  jmc [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Just reread this from the start and it's just as well I was alone as I may have had to explain what I was reading. Thanks. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Abbygirl, that was wonderfully, fantastic and had me in stitches. Am glad you explained the Robin because I adored her in this.

Can we have a Robin drabble like this please?
Author:  keren [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Was very good

You can't stop here you know
Author:  Emma A [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 1:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
I do love the way Len has had to re-think her whole attitude as a result of Joey's revelations...

Thanks, abbeygirl - this has been a very entertaining drabble!
Author:  JS [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Thanks Abbeygirl - I have a big grin on my face....
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Thanks, Abbeygirl - your story has kept me giggling madly, and reading it has enlivened some very wintery days. As EmmaA said, it's no wonder Len had to re-think her attitudes after hearing it, either!!!
Author:  Chatelaine [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
I'm so glad they found a cure for poor Robin's asthma! 8)
Author:  Vick [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
:rofl: Thanks Abbeygirl. Have just caught up with the last 3 updates. Trying to laugh quietly, and eating a sandwich at the same time is not easy!!!
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
:lol: Wonderful!

And love Robin's unusual cure for asthma.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
That was a brilliant ending! :lol: Oh, this has all been so brilliant, and Rob's genius plan was just excellent.

Thankyou!
Author:  Abi [ Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Wonderful, wonderful ending! Unfortunately I was eating when I started reading it and thus mess has occurred. I should have known better.... Loved poor Len finding that actually she was a chip off the old block, not a glorious rebel!
Author:  Myth Tree [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Joey's solid lump of comfort - complete! 01/03
Wonderful.
*wonders where clean mind went!*
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