This is my first story posted here for a very long time. It was inspired by Liss' Voy/CS crossover a few threads up (or down?) but I hope the premise is sufficiently different to avoid the charge of plagiarism! This was one of those stories that spring into your head more or less fully formed, so here you are.
Also dedicated to Jennie who evidently detests Joey as much as she ever did, if her sig is anything to go by.
Enjoy.
***
It was a dull day in the Delta Quadrant, and the attention of Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager was fixed anywhere but on her bridge.
It was fixed, to be precise, on a doctor. Not, however, on the person of the bald headed and irascible hologram with the bedside manner of a file who held that office aboard Voyager. Definitely not. No, Kathryn Janeway's thoughts were drifting instead to the infinitely more attractive Dr Jack Maynard, whom she'd encountered in her last visit to Tom Paris' most recent holo-simulation.
Granted, under normal circumstances Janeway would simply raised an eyebrow and made a caustic comment to Tom given the nature of this particular simulation- a boarding school populated with dauntingly beautiful girls was not, after all, the way to keep B'Elanna Torres from violence- but this 'Chalet School' sim had been designed with little Naomi Wildman in mind.
Intrigued, therefore, the Captain had run the program on her own account, and had been unexpectedly captivated by Jack Maynard- by his gentleness, his humour, his quiet competence, and his protective air towards women. Even twenty fourth century captains with a confirmed addiction to coffee like to be coddled now and then, and Jack did it so......beautifully. The fact that he was blonde was a further point in his favour. Chakotay had recently abandoned his proclaimed devotion to his captain in return for a succession of young and busty blondes, and one side of Janeway certainly liked the idea of turning the tables on her philandering First Officer.
There was, however, only one fly in Janeway's ointment- assuming one excluded the inescapable fact that Jack Maynard was a hologram. Janeway did exclude it, and with her usual decisiveness, decided it was time to deal with the aforesaid fly.
She rose and turned to Chakotay, sitting, as always, to her left. "Commander, I'm going off-duty for a while. You have the bridge."
Chakotay looked startled, but since Janeway was already sweeping towards the turbo-lift, he said nothing more than, "Aye, Captain. Paris, keep your eyes on the road and your nose to yourself."
Some moments later found Janeway standing outside the holoprogramming suite. She stepped inside and moved her hands gently across the console. "Computer, run holocharacter Wildman-Jack-Maynard-Delta-Five."
The hologram of Doctor Jack Maynard shimmered into existence, his form looking oddly unreal against the black and yellow hologrid.
Janeway left her console and went to circle him. Tall, blonde, blue eyes, great physique...
Get a grip, girl, she muttered to herself. You're drooling.
She returned to her console and eyed 'Jack' again. "Computer, activate holocharacter."
Janeway ignored the computer's affirmation as 'Jack' came to life. His handsome face lit up with a beaming smile, and he crossed the room to her, ignoring his surroundings. "Miss Janeway! It's good to see you again. Are you here about the job at the school?"
Janeway's lips twitched in surprised amusement. "A job?" She tried to ignore the fluttering in her tummy as he came closer, and she was amazed that she could smell him- a combination of fresh aftershave and an aroma that her finely honed senses identified as the best Austrian coffee. Her knees trembled. A coffee loving doctor. If only..... But he was talking.
"Haven't you heard? Vida Armitage is getting married, so naturally she has to leave. Miss Annersley and Miss Wilson are looking for a new Science mistress, and I understand you're something of a scientist yourself?"
Janeway smiled. "You could say that." I must tell Tom what good work he's done...
"Have you taught before?" 'Jack' asked casually.
"No," Janeway admitted. She'd done many things in her career, but teaching had never made the list.
Jack shrugged. "I'm sure you'd do well at it. You seem to be a very capable woman."
"I do? Thanks for the compliment, Doctor." Her lips twitched again, knowing he did not understand the irony.
He smiled at her again and patted her on the shoulder. Only then did Janeway realise how much he towered above her, and she'd always had a thing for tall men....
"-need to get back. Joey will be waiting for me."
Janeway blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"I need to get home," Jack explained. "My wife, Joey, will be waiting for me."
The fine lines between Janeway's brows deepened. She'd just been reminded of the fly.
"Your wife," she repeated.
"Yes. You must meet her some time. She's quite a fixture on the Platz."
"Quite," Janeway echoed. Not if I have anything to do with it.
She moved back towards her console. "Computer, pause hologram."
Hologram paused.
"Computer, open interpersonal - no, belay that." The computer chirped. A smile spread across Janeway's face- the kind of smile that Kathryn Janeway allowed herself very little these days, so many thousands of light years from home.
"Computer," she said again, "Copy and transfer the current EMH medical databases to the open hologram."
Transfer completed.
Janeway shrugged. The Doctor was always complaining about the lack of trained medical personnel apart from himself and Mr Paris. Janeway was never certain whether his objection was specifically to the lack of personnel, or simple dislike of working with Tom Paris- who, it must be admitted, made no secret of the fact that he much preferred the helm. This way, everyone would be happy, especially her. It'd be such a relief to receive her annual (and much avoided) medical from a doctor who did not try to convince her to cut the coffee along with the work hours and the stress. This was good. This was very, very good.
"Computer, activate hologram."
Jack shimmered into life once more, and looked surprised. "You're still here, Miss Janeway? I'm sorry, I thought you'd gone. Are you going to come and meet Jo after all?"
Janeway scowled. "Computer, halt hologram!" she barked. 'Jack' obediently froze. "Computer, copy and transfer Starfleet EMH-Mark One perception and location subroutines to the open hologram."
Transfer complete.
Janeway grinned ferally. "And one last thing. Computer, open interpersonal subroutines."
Interpersonal subroutines open.
"Delete the wife."
-fin.
Methinks I feel the germ of an idea coming on......