Er... sorry! I just had to
It was neither the first time nor the last that the theme for Sale had been so hotly contested, but never had the school been so clearly divided into two camps. Ariel and Abi were both exceedingly popular girls, and each had their own band of followers willing to support them to the bitter end. So whenever the students were asked to vote, half the slips of paper came back saying "A Pointy Things Sale", and the other half "A Marc Almond Sale".
"It's not good," Cestina groaned as she counted votes for the fifth time. "I ought to overrule the lot of you and just make it a Sound of Music Sale." She glanced at Ariel. "You know, Dr Entwistle would look rather fetching as a yodelling goatherd..."
Ariel opened her mouth and then closed it, wavering. Perhaps the problem would have been solved then and there had Ammonite not piped up with, "But my grades would improve so much if I had more access to pointy things for threatening people!" Ariel's face set into a grim line which her friends recognised only too well. The fat was really on the fire now!
The next morning when Abi woke up, she reached under her pillow for her dagger, as she always did, and slowly sat up, wondering what was wrong. It took a moment to come to her. Somewhere - someone - was playing Tainted Love! In fact - now she thought about it, hadn't she heard it when she had awoken during the night? She gasped as realisation dawned. Ariel was trying to make everyone fall in love with Marc Almond through their subcontentiou- subcontinen- while they were asleep! This called for drastic action. She slid her dagger into the belt of her pyjama pants and reached under her bed for her sword. She was no good at hypnotism, but there were - other ways to persuade people.
"Excuse me," Abi said to the first person she saw, very politely. "Don't you think this is a very nice sword?"
"Gosh yes," Mary-Lou said eagerly. "It's awfully- ack!" Abi had momentarily lost her balance and run her friend through. She looked at the bleeding body for a moment and then sighed. Well, it was one less person to vote for Ariel's idea, anyway.
Ariel, meanwhile, was busy approaching Joey Maynard with a pair of headphones. "You really ought to have a listen," she said eagerly. "Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret is probably the greatest album of all ti- oh, dear." Mrs Maynard had only just slipped her headphones on when her head had imploded. Ariel shook her head and continued on her way. Some people just had no appreciation for art. Oh well, at least Jack was single now.
Neither Abi nor Ariel gave up easily, however. Abi continued to try and show people how pretty pointy things were, and Ariel continued to jam her headphones onto people's heads. The list of casualties was still steadily growing when they bumped, smack!, into each other in a corridor. "You!" Abi mimed angrily, as talking in corridors was forbidden. "How dare you try and hypnotise everyone into agreeing with you!" Ariel, who was less good at mime, pretended to be trapped inside a box until Abi dragged her inside a nearby classroom.
"I know it was cheating," Ariel said slowly, "But Abi, this is to be my last Sale. I'm going to be going to Law School next year; and I did so want my last Sale to be a great success."
Abi dropped her sword in dismay. "Oh Ariel!" she said, badly upset. "I'm so sorry. If only you'd said! Of course we can have a Marc Almond Sale- if it will make you happy!"
"I don't think so," said a different voice, and both girls swung around guiltily to look into the angry eyes of Nightwing. "Do you really think you're going to be allowed to choose the Sale after offing half the student body? You're both on Head's Reports, and it will be sewing sheets in Matey's room this Saturday night for you!"
"So what Sale theme will we have?" Ariel asked, subdued.
"A 'Nightwing is freaking awesome' theme, of course," returned that young lady. "It's bound to be a success."
It wasn't.
[/silliness]
. 