The CBB
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A night off - complete 3rd Jan
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=6190
Author:  Elle [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  A night off - complete 3rd Jan
"Right," said Kathie Ferrars, "Who's got the vodka?"

"Not me," replied Matron, swigging lustily at bottle of Tia Maria.

"Nancy?"

"Sorry, I've got the gin,"

"Well, where is it?" demanded Kathy, peering under the bed.

"I bet Joan Betram pinched it," said Nancy darkly.

"Oy!" replied a voice from the bathroom.

"Oops," grinned Nancy, "Would you like some gin instead?"

Kathy reached out and took it, "Thanks." She took a swig, "Where has Sharlie got to?"

"She's on her way, she just had to give Biddy a call to make sure she knew where to meet us this time," answered Matron.

The door suddenly flew open and in bounced Sharlie, "Are we ready?" she yelled.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" hissed everyone.

"What?" demanded Sharlie beligerantly.

"They will hear you in Freudsheim," said Matron, "And we don't want her coming out with us again."

"Bloody hell, no," said Sharlie. She sat down on the bed and handed Kathie her vodka.

"Where did you find this?" asked Kathie accepting it gratefully and taking a swig.

"I found the Middles about to start drinking it, apparently they pinched it off Len Maynard, who had taken it from your desk. Anyway, are we ready?"

"Hell, yes!" said Matron, adjusting her wonderbra.

"Lets go then!"

The women crept down the back stairs, and slipped out into the garden.

"Is it clear?" asked Nancy pointing towards Freudsheim.

"I think so," said Kathie. But she spoke too soon.

"Cooee!!!" trilled a melodious voice.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Thanks Elle :D
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Joanne [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
But where are they off to? And who's got the Baileys?!!!!

:D
Author:  Elle [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.

"Run, now," said Matron.

They ran.

"Wait for me!" cried Joey.

"She's catching up," gasped Kathie.

"I can't run anymore," spluttered Nancy.

"It's no good," said Sharlie, "We are going to have to let her come with us again."

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.

Joey errupted into their midst wearing lime green stockings, a lime green mini skirt and a lime green crop top. "Jack was able to babysit after all," she said happily.

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.

"Come on then," sighed Matron.

"Where are we going tonight?" trilled Joey.

"Not to the Hot Klub Ärzte," said Kathie crossly, "You got us banned from there last time."

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:shock:

Just how many miniature Baileys has Joan Bertram got??????

Thanks Elle :D
Author:  Lyanne [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
abbeybufo wrote:
:shock:

Just how many miniature Baileys has Joan Bertram got??????

Thanks Elle :D


That's why it's a massive handbag!
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Before they start :banghead: :banghead: !!!!
I would not like to be them or their pupils the next day.
Author:  Elle [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
"How about that new club Len was telling me about?" suggested Joey.

"Which new club?" asked Matron.

"The Rosa Kasse Katze Klub," replied Joey.

"Im not sure that is the club for us," said Kathie.

"Has Len been there?" asked Nancy curiously.

"No," answered Joey, "But she says that Reg loves it there."

"I see," said Nancy. She raised her eyebrows at the rest of the group, "Shall we give it a try?"

"Why not?" replied Sharlie, "After all, if Reg loves it..." the rest of her sentence finished in a tipsy giggle.

"But..." said Matron.

"But me no buts!" cried Nancy.

"But..." said Matron again.

"Matron," said Nancy meaningfully.

"But... Oh..." The penny dropped for Matron. "What an excellent idea. the Rosa Kasse Katze Klub it is!"

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.




(Sorry for the dodgy German, I am using google translate).
Author:  Lesley [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
I'm with Joanie! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Liane [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Love the huge amoun of Baileys! Can't go far wrong with a bit of alcohol. :D
*passes round the malibu for any that want*
Author:  Liz K [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Can't wait to see how this turns out.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Neither can. Thanks, this looks fabulous
Author:  jmc [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
I'd be a bit worried about this club if Reg likes it. Thanks. Really enjoying this :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:lol: Thankyou.
Author:  Joanne [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I need a bag like Joan's!

This is brilliant - thank you so much!
Author:  Jenefer [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Brilliant - more please
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
So they're sending Joey to the Rosa Kasse Katze Klub ...




... but where are they going themselves :twisted:
Author:  Liz K [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Joanne wrote:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I need a bag like Joan's!

This is brilliant - thank you so much!



Me too, can't beat a drop of Bailey's!
Author:  Selena [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Elle wrote:
"Hell, yes!" said Matron, adjusting her wonderbra.


:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: OMG!!! Is it starched?! :lol:

This is brilliant Elle! i can't wait to see what happens next :D
Author:  shazwales [ Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Thank you Elle this is fun :D :D :D :D :D
Author:  JennieP [ Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Nearly spat my coffee onto my computer when I read this!I love Joan Bertram!
Author:  Smile :) [ Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks Elle.
Author:  Miss Di [ Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
I want that handbag of Joan's with the never ending supply of Bailey's minatures!
Author:  Abi [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
:lol: :lol: :lol: Also putting in a bid for Joan Bertram's handbag!
Author:  Elle [ Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off
Some 40 minutes later they arrived at the club.

"I don't know why you are giggling so much," said Joey crossly as they gazed across the road at The Rosa Kasse Katze Klub, "It's an interesting sign don't you think?"

Matron looked at the sign, it was a silhouette of naked, well endowed young lady, sporting a pair of pussy cat ears and a tail. Matron looked down at her wonderbra sadly, all the starch in the world would never give her a cleavage as good as the woman on the sign.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Kathie, "Joey, you lead the way!"

"Rightio," said Joey, and she marched forwards. She did not look back, so she was unaware that nobody was following her, "Guten Abend, junger Mann."
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
Poor Joey!
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
*Snigger*
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
One can almost feel sorry for Joey ... :twisted: :devil:

Thanks Elle :D
Author:  Abi [ Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
abbeybufo wrote:
One can almost feel sorry for Joey ... :twisted: :devil:


BUt somehow.... not quite :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
"Pass?" grunted the well built young man on the door.

"Thank you," said Joey as she attempted to walk past him.

"Pass?" demanded the young man, in a more threatening tone of voice.

"I am trying to get past you," said Joey in a determined voice, "But you are standing in my way."

The man pulled out a walkie talkie and began to speak into it, "Heinrich, Ich benötige Hilfe hier. Enige verrückte alte bat wird versucht, in den Klub! Sie sieht nicht wie ein Stripper!"

"Well! I say!" cried Joey in shock, "Of course I don't look like a stripper! I am a respected mother of 22 children! And don't call me an old bat!"

"Scheiße!" said the man on the door, "Es muss Reg Mutter im Gesetz!"

"Yes!" said Joey, "I am Reg's mother in law and I demand entry to your club right now!"

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.












(Again, apologies for the German, it is all coming from google translate!)
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

22 kids? She's really been 'busy'!!!


Thanks Elle
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
22 kids!!! No wonder she needs a night off!

Maybe the club will offer her a job? :lol:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 4:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
This has made my lunch much more cheerful!

Love the idea of Joey not looking like a stripper. :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
How do the club know about Reg? :shock:

:lol: I bet the security guard wasn't expecting her to understand the German.

Thanks!
Author:  Liane [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
:lol: :twisted: Love it. Thanks for the update.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
How do the club know about Reg? :shock:


Elle wrote:
"How about that new club Len was telling me about?" suggested Joey.

"Which new club?" asked Matron.

"The Rosa Kasse Katze Klub," replied Joey.

"Im not sure that is the club for us," said Kathie.

"Has Len been there?" asked Nancy curiously.

"No," answered Joey, "But she says that Reg loves it there."


Thanks Elle :D :lol: :D :lol:
Author:  jmc [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
Jo with 22 kids!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Love it
Thanks
Author:  Selena [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
this is brilliant Elle :D

Do those 22 kids include a few sets of quads?!
Author:  Elle [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 23.06
"What's going on?" asked a voice, with just a creamy touch of Irish brogue.

"Well, as you can see," said Kathie, "Joey is wrestling with the bouncer in a crazed attempt to enter the Rosa Kasse Katze Klub."

"I see," said Biddy, "Does Joey know what kind of club it is?"

"No," replied Nancy, "Reg mentioned it to Len, who mentioned it to Joey, and here we are."

"I've never been to a strip club," said Biddy thoughtfully. She looked at the others, "What do you think?"

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.

"How are we going to get in?" asked Matron, as the bouncer dragged Joey across the road, and thrust her into Matron's capable hands.

"Leave it to me," said Biddy, and she shimmied across the road to the club entrance.

"Hello me darlint," she said to bouncer, fluttering her eye lashes madly, "Could you be telling me how to get into the club?"

"Auditions round the back," said the bouncer who had suddenly developed the ability to speak English.

"Why, thank you," fluttered Biddy, she shimmied back across the road.

"You would never believe she is a married woman with 14 children," muttered Sharlie.

"Lets go!" said Biddy, and they set off round the back of the building to audition for jobs in the Rosa Kasse Katze Klub.

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.
Author:  LizzieC [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June
:lol: :rofl: :mrgreen:
Author:  Abi [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June
How much longer can Joan Bertram last??!! Loved Biddy's method of getting into the club :D . Thanks Elle!
Author:  Clare [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June
I wish I had Joan's bottomless bag of Baileys... especially while writing reports! Can't wait to see what happens next. :D
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June
Very impressed with Joan's constitution! As for Biddy! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June
Lesley wrote:
Very impressed with Joan's constitution! As for Biddy! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



I think I'm more impressed with her seemingly bottomless handbag :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
The reached the back of the building, there one the door was a sign which read:

"Hörproben hier und heute, die eigene Brustwarze tassles".

"What are nipple tassles?" asked Joey.

"Who cares!" grinned Biddy, and she knocked on the door.

"Come in," shouted a voice.

They entered the room, a small, greasy looking man was at behind a desk, "You here for the auditions?"

"Yep," replied Matron.

"Through there," he indicated to another door, "Auditions are already taking place, you may have too wait."

They walked through the door, and stopped dead in shock. For there, on a podium, surrounded by leering doctors was a figure in a cap and gown, performing a burlesque strip tease was Hilda Annersley. The blue eyes, which had never needed glasses, flashed with irritation as she saw who had entered the room, "Nell!" she called.

A figure appeared clutching a clip board in one hand, and a gin bottle in the other, "Ah," said Nell.

"Sh*t," muttered Joan Betram, she reached into her massive handbag, removed a miniture Baileys, opened it, and drank the contents in one swig.
Author:  Abi [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
*snorting drink all over laptop*

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  MHE [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
Abi wrote:
*snorting drink all over laptop*

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Luckily I had just put my mug down before reading this
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
Ah, wondered when they were going to turn up! :lol:
Author:  Sandra [ Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
:shock: :shock: :shock:
This is wonderful - what will Joey say if Jack is amongst the leering doctors
Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
Sandra wrote:
:shock: :shock: :shock:
This is wonderful - what will Joey say if Jack is amongst the leering doctors


And Reg almost certainly is among them ... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks Elle :D
Author:  Miss Di [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
So glad I didn't have a mouthful when I read the m'audition scene!
Author:  jmc [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
I actually think this could explain Joan's bilious attacks. She must also be weight training to lift her handbag. :D :D :D
Author:  Selena [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Tara [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 12:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :!: :!: :!: und so weite.
Author:  Torri [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
Sehr gut! Ich liebe das!

:D :D

(If you want some help with the German, I can help. Especially considering I'm at a complete-immersion Deutches Sommerschule right now!)
Author:  Elle [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th June twice
Torri wrote:
Sehr gut! Ich liebe das!

:D :D

(If you want some help with the German, I can help. Especially considering I'm at a complete-immersion Deutches Sommerschule right now!)


I might take you up on that at some point!

Hilda stood up, her gown flew open to reveal diamante nipple tassles, and a matching thong. There was a thud and Joey Maynard fell to the floor in a dead faint.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Hilda in her most headmistressly sounding tones.

"I was about to ask you the same question!" said Kathie.

"Clear off boys," said Hilda to the assembled doctors.

"Jack Maynard?" cried Matron, "You are supposed to be babysitting the sextuplets!"

Jack blushed and scuttled out of the room, closely followed by Reg Entwistle, Phil Graves and Gottfried Mensch amoungst others.

Nancy raised her eyes at Hilda, "Well?" she said, "I can't believe you had to audition for this place!"

"Of course she didn't," replied Nell, "We own this club, but the only person who applied tonight was no good, so Hilda was giving the audition panel their reward."
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th? Not sure of todays date...
:shock: :shock: :shock:

...Sextuplets?
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th? Not sure of todays date...
Quote:
Nancy raised her eyes at Hilda, "Well?" she said, "I can't believe you had to audition for this place!"

"Of course she didn't," replied Nell, "We own this club, but the only person who applied tonight was no good, so Hilda was giving the audition panel their reward."


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
I was going to quote the best bits, but realised I'd actually end up quoting the whole post. (Though the bit where Hilda first shows up drew some very odd looks from my family...).

Thanks Elle!
Author:  jmc [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Thanks
Author:  Liz K [ Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
:shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl:

This is getting better and better, can't imagine where/how it's going to end!
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  shazwales [ Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
:shock: :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks (I think!)
Author:  Cath V-P [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 2:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
I knew the school's pension scheme was dire! :lol: :lol: :lol:

'leering doctors'.....'diamante nipple tassels'.... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  trig [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
:D :D :D :D

More please!!
Author:  Elle [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
Liz K wrote:
:shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl: :shock: :rofl:

This is getting better and better, can't imagine where/how it's going to end!


Neither can I, and I am writing the wretched thing. The only thing is so far I can't see how I will kill anyone.

"Give them the forms Nell," said Hilda.

"Oh yes," said Nell, she adopted a formal expression and tone of voice, "Thank you for applying to the Rosa Kasse Katze Klub the strip club of choice for the discerning Doctor. Please fill in these application forms, then proceed to the dressing rooms to change. I hope you brought your own nipple tassles."

"Damn!" said Biddy slapping her head theatrically, "I think I left mine with Eugen!"

"Not to worry," said Nell, "I have some spare ones." She handed round spare tassles and biros and the women set to filling in the forms."

"Name?" muttered Matron, "I have been 'Matron' so long I don't remember what my real name is."

"Age?" muttered Joey who had come round, she looked shifty and wrote "24".

"Prior experience?" muttered Kathie, she cast a swift look at Nancy and hissed "Do you think Grizel's hen night counts?"

"I've put it down," muttered Nancy.

"But no nipple tassles were involved," muttered Sharlie.

"Yes, but your clothes did come off," muttered Joan Betram reaching into her massive handbag and fishing out another minature Baileys.

"Can you wrap your legs around your head?" read Biddy, "I knew we should have invited Hilary Graves out with us, but it was her turn to baby sit."

"Hilary passed her audition with flying colours," said Nell cheerfully.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
Quote:
The only thing is so far I can't see how I will kill anyone.


I imagine that the shock of seeing Joey in nipple tassles would take out at least half the doctors in the room... :shock:

Thanks, I love this! :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Nightwing [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
I imagine that the shock of seeing Joey in nipple tassles would take out at least half the doctors in the room...


...and just the thought of Matron taking her clothes off is enough to put me into shock, so I imagine it would take out the other half and possibly a couple of the women as well!

Thanks, Elle!
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
Elle wrote:
Neither can I, and I am writing the wretched thing. The only thing is so far I can't see how I will kill anyone.


Never mind Elle - I'm sure you'll manage it! :lol:
Author:  Liane [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
Elle wrote:
"Hilary passed her audition with flying colours," said Nell cheerfully.


Love it!! :lol:
Author:  jmc [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
More please. Hope Reg is there to die of shock when Jo does her bit. :lol: :lol:
Author:  shazwales [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
Brilliant! can i have Joan Bertrams handbag please?
Author:  Clare [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
Elle wrote:
The only thing is so far I can't see how I will kill anyone.


Alcohol poisoning for Joan?
Author:  JB [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
Brilliant. I've caught up on the last 4 updates. Luckily, I put my coffee down before I started!
Author:  Liz K [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 27th
Clare wrote:
Elle wrote:
The only thing is so far I can't see how I will kill anyone.


Alcohol poisoning for Joan?


Death by Baileys. What a way to go!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
:D The thought of Jo in nipple tassles makes me a bit nauseous!!! This is fantastic :D .
Author:  Emma A [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
leahbelle wrote:
:D The thought of Jo in nipple tassles makes me a bit nauseous!!! This is fantastic :D .

Especially after 22 kids... :shock:
Author:  Selena [ Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
thanks Elle!!!


i'd love to hear the story of Grizel's hen night... :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Jennie [ Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
Elle, dear heart, I was delighted that you updated this for my birthday, but that was over a week ago. I hate to nag, but.....
Author:  jmc [ Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
More please
Author:  Elle [ Sun Jul 26, 2009 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - updated 7th July
Sharlie Andrews was first up for the audition, she performed well, but lost marks when one of her nipple tassels flew off and hit Jack Maynard in the eye. Jack was removed from the audition room under protest to put an ice pack on the injured eye. This meant that he was forced to miss Joan Bertram's audition.

Joan shimmied onto the podium, and swung herself upside down on the pole with the assurance of a professional, there was an "Ooooh!" of appreciation from the assembled doctors. However Joan had neglected to remove the spare minature Baileys from her bra, and one flew out hitting the returning Jack Maynard in the other eye. Jack was removed from the audition room under protest to put an ice pack on the injured eye. This meant he was forced to miss Biddy's audition.

Biddy began a slow striptease as she slid round the pole, there was an "Awwww" of appreciation from the assembled doctors. Unfortunately as she flung off her six inch heals one hit the returning Jack Maynard in the mouth. Jack was removed from the audition room under protest to put an ice pack on his bleeding lip. This meant he was forced to miss Kathie's audition.

To people who did not know her Kathie Ferrars seemed an ordinary, nice young lady. The performance she put on silenced the assembled doctors. Unfortunately as she swung horizontally on the pole on of her feet caught the returning Jack Maynard on the nose. Jack Maynard was removed from the audition room under protest to put an ice pack on his bleeding nose. This meant he was forced to miss Matron's audition.

Standing on the podium in her starched wonderbra and angels wing headdress, Matron reflected on how all their nights out seemed to end this way. She seized her headdress and threw it, in what she imagined to be a sexy and enticing way, at the assembled doctors. Unfortunately her aim was off and she hit the returning Jack Maynard in the throat. Jack Maynard was removed from the audition room under protest to put an ice pack on his bruised neck. This meant that he was forced to miss Nancy's audition.

Nancy had always been described as a 'big' girl, and so most of the doctors had ignored her in their obsessive quests for wives, despite the need for good child bearing hips. However they were now transfixed due to her magnificence. As Nancy rotated left her bosom was still rotating right, and unfortunately for the returning Jack Maynard it hit him in the face, sending him flying across the room. However nobody forced him out of the room as they were too transfixed by Nancy. This meant he was forced to watch his wife's audition.

Joey bounced onto the podium gleefully. She spun round removing her lime green croptop and throwing it at Jack. This revealed her borrowed nipple tassels. 22 children and gravity had had an unfortunate effect on Joey's bosom. There was a collective groan from the assembled doctors, and one was sick.
Author:  shazwales [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 5:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Thanks Elle,what a lovely start to a wet Monday! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

What have you got against Jack? i almost felt sorry for him :roll: :roll:
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 5:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Poor Jack - sit somewhere else another time lad! :lol: :lol: :lol:


Thanks Elle
Author:  Liane [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
:lol: :lol: Love it! Matey's resignation was great, and poor Jack...
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Poor Jack! Perhaps we can see why he comes, now, though....

Thankyou!
Author:  JennieP [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Thanks to this, my day just became "exceeds expectations" (up from "inadequate"). It may now even rate as "good", which is a seriously impressive for a Monday morning! Thanks, Elle!
Author:  JS [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Quote:
Standing on the podium in her starched wonderbra and angels wing headdress, Matron reflected on how all their nights out seemed to end this way


All their nights out? :shock:
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Joey has 22 children against Jack!!! Or at least we are expected to believe they are all his.
Author:  Clare [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
*Cries laughing*

Off to read it again, just in case I missed any details!
Author:  Caty [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Fabulous as always Elle!

But no deaths? Surely this cannot last....
Author:  Jennie [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Wonderful!
Author:  jmc [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Thanks Elle, just returned home from a 15 hour day at work and now feel much better. :lol: :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
:lol: :lol: :lol: Ah, what a treat! (Though obviously not for poor Jack!). Loved Matey's sad reflection on how all their nights out end the same way...!

Thanks Elle - magnificent!
Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Hysterical! What a fantastic picture of Joey you painted!!
Author:  Elle [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 26th July
Following their auditions, the women got dressed and waited to find out the results.

"I'm sure to qualify," said Joey happily, "I got the biggest round of applause!"

"Only when you put your clothes back on," snapped Matron. Wild horses wouldn't drag it from her, but actually Matron loathed Joey and did not want her to have passed the audition, as Matron believed she had failed to pass herself.

Joan was rummaging in her bag looking for her Baileys and ignoring the conversation around her. She was beginning to look slightly worried.

The women looked up as the door opened and Nell Wilson sashayed in, clutching a gin and tonic in one hand and a clipboard in the other. She was closely followed by Hilda Annersley, now fully dressed and holding a small glass of single malt.

"Sit down," said Hilda crisply as the women had automatically stood on her entrance, "Nell will now give you the results of your auditions." She turned expectantly towards Nell.

Nell took a step forward, once again she adopted a formal tone of voice, "Thank you again for applying to the Rosa Kasse Katze Klub, if you have not been successful this time, please do not audition again, as being thrown out of the club often offends."

Taking no notice of Nell, Joan Betram began to throw empty Baileys bottles onto the floor as she rummaged more frantically in her bag.
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
Uh-oh... I'm hoping Joan doesn't turn into a Mr Hyde character (or perhaps the Incredible Hulk) without her Baileys...
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
Quote:
if you have not been successful this time, please do not audition again, as being thrown out of the club often offends."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Joey and Matron :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
Oh no, what's happened to the Baileys? See, you don't want a magic handbag. When the magic disappears... :lol:

Thanks! You have me on tenterhooks as to whose passed!
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
Love all the women standing when Hilda entered the room! :lol:


Poor old Joan's about to have a crisis. :shock:
Author:  Aquabird [ Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Your imagination knows no bounds, Elle! Love it!

:shock: at Joan running out of Baileys, though...
Author:  JS [ Thu Jul 30, 2009 10:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
Quote:
Wild horses wouldn't drag it from her, but actually Matron loathed Joey


:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 29th July
"Nancy," said Nell, "You're in."

"Yes!" Nancy punched the air.

"Infact, you got the most votes," said Hilda.

"Ha!" cried Nancy, she turned to Joey, "Call me plump again will you?"

"Kathie," said Nell, "You're in."

"Yay!"

"Biddy, you too!"

"Fab!"

"Joan, despite the unfortunate incident with the Baileys, you're in too."

Joan took no notice, she had found one remaining miniature, and was happily drinking it down.

"Sharlie," said Nell, "Congratulations, you are now a member of the Rosa Kasse Katz Klub family."

Sharlie punched the air with glee.

"Which leaves... Matron and Joey," said Nell.

Matron started to bite her nails, Joey just sat smugly.

"Matron, you have passed the audition," said Nell.

Matron gave a sigh of relief.

"Joey," said Nell.
Author:  Abi [ Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Soooo.......... did Joey get in?

My vote's for 'no' :lol: .
Author:  Nightwing [ Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
They should let Joey in - and put her on as the last act every night when they need everyone to leave :D
Author:  Elle [ Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Nightwing wrote:
They should let Joey in - and put her on as the last act every night when they need everyone to leave :D


Hmmm....
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Pleased Joan found another Baileys - and well done Nancy.


Thanks Elle
Author:  shazwales [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 8:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Thanks Nightwing , please let Joey in someones got to provide comedy and disasters :D :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 9:01 am ]
Post subject: 
How about Joey as wardrobe mistress????
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 9:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
PaulineS wrote:
How about Joey as wardrobe mistress????


Lime green could be the new colour of the club!

I hope Joey doesn't get too upset by the decision...
Author:  jmc [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Very scared by Matey passing her audition. Hope Hilda and Nell can come up with an interesting way for Jo to work at the club.
Author:  Abi [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
PaulineS wrote:
How about Joey as wardrobe mistress????


Lime green could be the new colour of the club!

I hope Joey doesn't get too upset by the decision...


Although I should think she'd come up with a fairly imaginative revenge....
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Can't believe I've missed so many updates. Thanks this has really cheered me up after a really bad week at work
Author:  Elle [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 3rd August
Nell looked at Joey, "Unfortunately, I am afraid you have failed the audition," she said.

"What?" said Joey.

"Unfortunately, I am afraid you have failed the audition," repeated Nell.

"What?" said Joey.

"Unfortunately, I am afraid you have failed the audition," repeated Nell again.

"What?" said Joey.

"Unfortunately..." began Nell once more.

"I heard you the first time," snapped Joey, "Why have I failed the audition, and why has she passed?" she pointed furiously at Matey.

"Matey appeals to a certain type of Doctor," said Hilda.

"And I don't I suppose?" snarled Joey, "What about Jack?"

"You appeal to Jack," said Hilda.

"God knows why," muttered Nell sotto voce, as she swigged her gin and tonic.

"Well, Jack's a Doctor!" replied Joey.

"Jack is only one Doctor," said Hilda, "and there were 43 at the audition, and none voted for you."

"You are going to regret this Hilda Tallulah Ermintrude Annesley!" cried Joey, as she stormed from the room.
Author:  JB [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
Wonderful.

The body count is surprisingly low, though! :wink:
Author:  Abi [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
Think Joey might be raising it soon, though...

*hint hint* :D
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
What a name! But, oh dear, what does Joey have planned for revenge? (and how will she react when she realises that even Jack didn't vote for her?)

:lol: Thanks!
Author:  Nightwing [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Hilda's name is amazing.
Author:  shazwales [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
Love Hildas' name! now Joey knows she's failed how many doctors can you bump off for her? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Emma A [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
I seem to remember Hilda's name from "You will marry your doctor!" - thanks, Elle - that was a fantastic update! :lol:
Author:  JennieP [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
*confesses a certain interest in precisely how the voting system worked*

Do the doctors have one vote each, or can they vote for as many as they like? Is there a certain number of votes that each candidate must have, or is it just the bottom candidate that gets rejected?

(Not getting way too caught up in this, or anything...)
Author:  LizzieC [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
JennieP wrote:
Do the doctors have one vote each, or can they vote for as many as they like? Is there a certain number of votes that each candidate must have, or is it just the bottom candidate that gets rejected?


Perhaps it's a San "bloc vote". The San vote goes whichever way the majority of the doctors vote? :) :lol:

*is also maybe a bit caught up* :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
Was Jack present to vote?
Author:  Elle [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 11th August
It was midnight, the Platz was silent, nothing appeared to be moving. Suddenly, there was a brief flash of light, as if a door had opened and shut quickly. A figure was seen to move swiftly from Freudsheim to the Chalet School, a door opened once more and the figure swiftly vanished. Twenty minutes later, the figure re-appeared, clutching something tightly. The figure was only just in time, for suddenly there appeared Biddy, Kathie, Nancy, Joan, Matron and Sharlie, all giggling and occasionally bursting into song.

"It's been a great night!" said Biddy, as they reached the school, "but I must head back to Eugen now, or he will be worrying about me." She waved good bye, and the rest headed into the school.

"What do you think Joey will do this time?" said Kathie, a worried frown appearing on her face.

"Don't worry," replied Nancy, "It's Hilda she is mad at this time, not us."

Suddenly Joan Bertram provided a distraction by being sick.
Author:  JB [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
Quote:

Quote:
"What do you think Joey will do this time?" said Kathie, a worried frown appearing on her face.

"Don't worry," replied Nancy, "It's Hilda she is mad at this time, not us."


That seems a bit optimistic to me!
Author:  Nightwing [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
I do love your Joey, Elle! She's so... uh, vaguely sociopathic! I keep hoping she's going to come out on top even though I know she's not :lol:
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh dear, what has Joey done? :devil:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
Uh-oh, what's Joey done now? :lol: Please don't leave us hanging for too long!
Author:  JennieP [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
Am I guessing from the references to what Joey will do "this time" that there has been a "last time"? And possibly even a "time before that"? Not that I would be begging for a flashback or anything...
Author:  jmc [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
Would love to see Jo's revenge :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
The women climbed wearily into bed, first checking that Joey had not floured their pillows or made them apple pie beds. One by one they fell into the sleep of the truly drunk.

When they woke in the morning each woman carefully checked that her sink hadn't been powdered to make them believe in witches, and then checked the blackboards in their classrooms for Vaseline. They met outside the Saal.

"Nothing," said Kathie in relief, she had not forgotten the results of their last night out when Joey, in a temper because she had been thrown out of the bar in the San had retaliated by sewing up the sleeves and pockets of all their coats.

"Nothing for me too," said Nancy, who remembered the time that Joey, furious at being barred from Doktor Doktor Klub had revenged herself on the others by making several replicas of Baby Voodoo and enlisted the help of several middles in dangling them over their windows.

Suddenly, their musings were interrupted by a terrifying scream!
Author:  LizzieC [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
Elle wrote:
Suddenly, their musings were interrupted by a terrifying scream!


Oooer! :O I wonder if the scream is the long awaited start of the bloodbath! :D

Thanks for more of this Elle :D
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 19th August
Don't leave us! Please! I don't like cliffs :cry:

Love all of Joey's exploits, particularly corrupting the middles :lol:

Thankyou!
Author:  Elle [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
LizzieC wrote:

I wonder if the scream is the long awaited start of the bloodbath!



One day I may write a drabble where nobody dies! I only really start killing people when I have no idea how to get them out of the situations they have got into.
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 19th August
I wonder which prank she's pulled off?! It's so mean to leave us hanging, Elle!
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 18th August
Elle wrote:
One day I may write a drabble where nobody dies!


But we love your bloodbaths! :lol:


Thanks Elle
Author:  JB [ Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 19th August
Thanks, Elle. I love feeling that no-one's safe in your drabbles.
Author:  jmc [ Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 19th August
Jo's really so childish isn't she still pulling the same pranks. Waiting with bated breath for the death toll to start.
Author:  Abi [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 19th August
:lol: What has Joey done???

*waits hopefully for bloodbath*
Author:  Elle [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 5:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 19th August
"That came from Matron's room!" cried Nancy.

"Run!"

They ran up to Matron's room, threw open the door, and a terrible sight me their eyes. Poor Matron was sat sobbing in front of an empty cupboard whose label read 'Angel's Wing Headdresses'. Not only was the cupboard empty but Matrons hair was:

"LIME GREEN!" sobbed Matron.

"Joey?" asked Kathie.

"Who but," said Sharlie.

"Do you think she is just after Matron?" Kathie asked.

"As if," said Nancy.

"Sh*t," said Joan Betram, she reached into her handbag to remove a miniature bottle of Baileys. She opened it and was just about to pour the contents down her throat.

"Stop!" shouted Nancy.
Author:  shazwales [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
Oh no, poor Matron! What will she be if she can't be so crisp she crackles as she walks?!?

Joey is cruel :lol:

Thankyou!
Author:  Abi [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
:shock: That was a terrible revenge indeed!!
Author:  jmc [ Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
Not the Baileys! :shock: Poor Matey. How will she be able to assert her authority now?
Author:  Jennie [ Sun Aug 23, 2009 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
I bet Joey's hidden all the starch as well.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Aug 24, 2009 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
Thanks, poor Matey :(
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
I can see some major revenge upon Joey in the future! :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 22nd August
"Why?" asked Joan, the bottle tilting at a dangerous angle.

"Look at the Baileys!" cried Nancy.

As one, the women turned to gaze at the bottle held in Joan's hand. A small droplet was forming on the end. It was not Baileys. It was:

"Lime green juice?" said Joan in horror.

Suddenly there was a loud scream.

"That came from Hilda's bathroom!" shrieked Kathie. The women abandoned Matron and charged towards the sound of the scream. The pushed open the bathroom door and were met by an astounding sight. Hilda Annersley, Headmistress of the Chalet School, was stood by a bath which was full of bubbles, so the water was not to be seen. Hilda herself was very noticeable, due to the fact she was:

"Lime green" cried Kathie.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th August
Oh no! Has lime greenitis hit the school? :shock: :lol:
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th August
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


She'll find it difficult to accessorise with that! :wink:
Author:  Abi [ Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th August
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: How many other things will become lime green??!
Author:  jmc [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th August
Hilda could now audition for the part of the wicked witch at least in the new school production of the Wizard of Oz. Don't care who it's from but looking forward to more revenge.
Author:  Elle [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th August
At that moment, the phone rang in Hilda's room. Dripping lime green water everywhere Hilda rushed to answer it.

"Yes?" she snapped, "Nell? Slow down! What? You too? I think we know who is behind this don't we? Exactly... I agree... She will regret this! Come over right now!"

"Nell's lime green too I take it?" asked Sharlie.

"Yep!" said Hilda, grabbing her knickers.

"Joey?" asked Nancy.

"Yep!" replied Hilda.

"Revenge for last night?" asked Kathie.

"Yep!" replied Hilda.

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Joan.

"Wait till Nell gets here," replied Hilda, an evil grin spreading across her lime green face.
Author:  shazwales [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
Thanks Elle :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
Joey does not know what she has unleased does she. Hilda and Nell together are going to make sure she will live to regret her actions Thanks for the update.
Author:  MHE [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th August
Elle wrote:
"Yes?" she snapped, "Nell? Slow down! What? You too? I think we know who is behind this don't we? Exactly... I agree... She will regret this! Come over right now!"
. . .

"What are we going to do about it?" asked Joan.

"Wait till Nell gets here," replied Hilda, an evil grin spreading across her lime green face.


Oh dear, I think that Joey is going to regret her acts of petty vengence with Hilda and Nell on her case :devil:
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 9:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
They bad! :devil:



Thanks Elle :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 9:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
:lol: :lol: :lol: Excellent! I hope Nell is quick (hint hint :wink: ).
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
Uh-oh! Do I sense a bloodbath coming up?

:devil:
Author:  Elle [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
Uh-oh! Do I sense a bloodbath coming up?

:devil:


Noooo.... Of course not.....

Even before Hilda had finished dressing, Joey struck again. This time her victims were Kathie and Nancy. Kathie walked into her classroom to set some work for Inter V to do by themselves so she could help Hilda and Nell sort out Joey. She reached into the cupboard to find the synthetic maps. They seemed to be stuck, she tugged harder, and the came loose. Unfortunately the large bottle of lime green ink which had been placed on top of them came loose too. Kathie was covered! There was a similar crash from Nancy's room. The two women met in the corridor, they were both now a beautiful shade of LIME GREEN!

However vengeance was soon to be theirs!
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
Elle wrote:
However vengeance was soon to be theirs!



Oh good! :twisted:
Author:  Abi [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August
Lesley wrote:
Elle wrote:
However vengeance was soon to be theirs!



Oh good! :twisted:


Absolutely! :D
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August twice
So Joey has obviously discovered purest green?
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August twice
:devil: At least Joey is being creative in her revenge...

Oh dear, what are they going to do?
Author:  JB [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August twice
Oh good. Very soon, I hope.
Author:  jmc [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August twice
The more vengence the better. :lol:
Author:  MaryR [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August twice
jmc wrote:
The more vengence the better. :lol:

I wrote a very short drabble years ago where Hilda and Nell did exactly that, and it involves a lime green freezer. :shock:

I tried to put a link to it but the link failed. It is called Vengeance is Mine and is in the archives.

Thanks, Elle, have just read all this in one go and it has cheered me up immensely. :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 31st August twice
"Attention!" snapped Hilda.

Nell, Sharlie, Kathie, Nancy, Matron and Joan snapped to attention.

"Have you all set work for your classes?" demanded Hilda.

"Yes Ma'am!" cried the women.

"Have you left prefects in charge?"

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Are you ready to sort out Joey?"

"Yes Ma'am!" they bellowed.

"Hang on..." said Hilda.

"What Ma'am?"

"Nothing appears to have happened to Sharlie..."

As one, the women turned to stare at Sharlie, who was definitely not lime green.

"Um..." said Sharlie.

"Why are you not lime green?" demanded Hilda.

"Are you on Joey's side?" growled Nell, cracking her knuckles.

"No!" cried Sharlie.

"Then why are you not lime green?" growled Nell once more.

"I... I am..." said Sharlie.

"Where?" growled Nell.
Author:  Nightwing [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
:shock: :shock: :shock:


:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  shazwales [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
:D :D :D :D :D
Thanks brilliant.
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
The mind boggles! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
:lol: :lol: :lol: Poor Sharlie! I think this might be a very good revenge...

*settles down to take notes*
Author:  Emma A [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Poor Sharlie! How has Joey managed to turn people lime green (and with what, we wonder?)?

Thanks, Elle. I think :shock: :lol:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Do they really need to know? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
:shock: :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks - I think!
Author:  JB [ Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
:shock: :shock: :shock:

Ooh.
Author:  Cassie [ Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Can't wait to find out where Sharlie has been turned lime green :shock: . And presumably Jo has had her vengeance on Biddy as well?
Author:  Elle [ Sun Sep 06, 2009 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Sharlie leant forwards and whispered in Hilda's ear. Hilda raised her eyebrows, "It's ok Nell, Sharlie is lime green, but just not where she wants to show us!"

Nell cracked her knuckles again, "And what about Biddy?" she demanded, "Where is she?"

"Biddy rang me earlier, she woke up this morning and discovered that the second quads had been dyed lime green, as we speak she is still trying to reduce them back to their normal colour."

"Oh," said Nell.

"Right then," said Hilda, "Does anyone have any suggestions as how to revenge ourselves upon Joey?"

"Kill her?" suggested Nancy.

"We've tried that one before," said Hilda, "And it wasn't pretty."
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Sep 06, 2009 8:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
Not the second quads!

So what are they planning on doing? Please do tell soon!
Author:  Abi [ Sun Sep 06, 2009 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Elle wrote:
"Kill her?" suggested Nancy.

"We've tried that one before," said Hilda, "And it wasn't pretty."


:lol: :lol: :lol: Loved the second quads, too! No wonder they were victims!

Thanks Elle - hope to find out the plan soon :D
Author:  Nightwing [ Sun Sep 06, 2009 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Elle wrote:
"We've tried that one before," said Hilda, "And it wasn't pretty."


Oh dear! I wonder how many bystanders were lost in the process!
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Sep 06, 2009 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st September
Elle wrote:
"Kill her?" suggested Nancy.

"We've tried that one before," said Hilda, "And it wasn't pretty."


I love that - no shrieks of horror at even suggesting it, no protestations - just a calm, no we've already tried that! :lol:


Thanks Elle
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon Sep 07, 2009 4:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
Quote:
"Kill her?" suggested Nancy.

"We've tried that one before," said Hilda, "And it wasn't pretty."[/


Still, getting that out of the way does at least allow them more room to maneouvre... :D
Author:  shazwales [ Mon Sep 07, 2009 5:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
Seeing as she's so fond of lime green turn her bright pink?

Thanks Elle.
Author:  jmc [ Mon Sep 07, 2009 9:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
Do we get to find out what happened when they tried to kill her before? :D
Author:  Liz K [ Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
I haven't read this since page 5 so had quite a bit of catching up to do.

Absolutely flippin' brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lime green brilliant in fact!!
Author:  Smile :) [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
Loving this elle. More soon perhaps?
Author:  Elle [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 6th September
jmc wrote:
Do we get to find out what happened when they tried to kill her before? :D

Here (in a shameless bit of self promotion!)


"Kill, kill, kill," muttered Nell, who was now cracking her knuckles and swigging lustily from a bottle of gin.

"There will be no killing!" said Hilda firmly, "Now gather round people, I have a plan!"

They gathered round, and listened to the plan. Occasionally Hilda's whisper was interrupted by giggles, and the odd question, which seemed to result in more giggles.

"We are agreed then?" demanded Hilda.

"Headmistress! Yes Headmistress" cried the others.

"Hic!" said Nell.

"Then fetch Jack Maynard!" cried Hilda.

The women left the room via the door, as was normal, apart from Nell, who, caught up in the spirit of the occasion, attempted to leap through the shut window. Being a school, the window was reinforced glass, and Nell had to be escorted to Hilda's study to revive with a strong gin and tonic.



(Why do Hilda and Nell always take over in my drabbles and why is Nell always drunk????)
Author:  JB [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Thanks for the update, Elle.

Love the idea of a drunken Nell gatecrashing your drabbles.
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Nell! Love the thought of reinforced glass windows in the Heads study.
Author:  Elle [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
JB wrote:
Thanks for the update, Elle.

Love the idea of a drunken Nell gatecrashing your drabbles.


I don't! Ever since Miss Wilson's missing gin (more shameless self promotion there) she has blundered drunkenly into everything I write, stealing the story line and dragging Hilda in her wake! That is, apart from the one where I killed her in about the forth post. Maybe that is what I should do in future - kill her off as soon as possible.
Author:  Nightwing [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Poor Jack!

Elle wrote:
That is, apart from the one where I killed her in about the forth post. Maybe that is what I should do in future - kill her off as soon as possible.


If she's drunk it must only make it easier to off her, surely!
Author:  Elle [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Nightwing wrote:
Poor Jack!

Elle wrote:
That is, apart from the one where I killed her in about the forth post. Maybe that is what I should do in future - kill her off as soon as possible.


If she's drunk it must only make it easier to off her, surely!


Sadly no, the woman seems indestructible!
Author:  Abi [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Thanks Elle! Am liking drunk Nell :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Now what will Jack have to do with this? (I felt obliged to ask something plot related, but here goes with the rest of the crowd: :lol: at drunk Nell!)

Thanks :D
Author:  shesings [ Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
I have just totally bewildered the SLOC by having a fit of hysterical laughter at this! He couldn't understand why I found David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan so amusing (we're waiting for the Singapore Grand Pirx to start.)

Don't kill Nell, :( she's my favourite character!!!! Of course, whatever you do to the High Priestess of Sanctimony, aka Joey, is fine with me :devil: !!
Author:  jmc [ Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Thanks Elle. Have now read the drabble about trying to kill Joey and am now, even more eagerly, looking forward to more of this. I don't know how you do it. :D
Author:  Smile :) [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
Thanks Elle.

:lol: :lol: :lol: at drunk Nell taking al off your drabbles though.
Author:  Elle [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th September
The Lime Green Ladies marched out of the study and into the fresh alpine air. It was a clear day, and the views were astonishing. Particularly the view of Freudsheim. The day before it had been a beautiful Swiss chalet. It was still as Swill chalet, however it was now a lime green Swiss chalet. The sunlight reflecting off its walls was quite dazzling.

"Gosh!" said Nell, swaying partly from the dazzling view, and partly from the gin.

"This is not a good sign," said Hilda, "She has never gone this far before. I only hope Jack is alright."

"What are you planning on doing with him?" asked Kathie.

"Hold him to ransom until Joey returns to normal," replied Hilda.

"Again?" asked Nancy in surprise.

"Well, it always works," said Hilda.

They opened the lime green door and peeped inside.

"All clear!" cried Nell happily, pushing the door open. There was a resounding clonk, and Nell fell to the floor, still, grey and to all appearances dead. She had been hit on the head by a lump of purest lime green.

Hilda rushed to her side, and tried desperately to find a pulse. She had no luck. It would appear that Nell was dead.
Author:  Nightwing [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October
Elle wrote:
Hilda rushed to her side, and tried desperately to find a pulse. She had no luck. It would appear that Nell was dead.


Only 'appear'? :D :D :D
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October
Elle you can't kill Nell - who would take over as the CS drunk? And why was my reaction to reading that to laugh out loud? :lol:


Oh and one thing - my eye's really hurting at the moment and seeing lime green everywhere makes it worse!" :banghead:
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October
Poor Jack, married to Joey and being held hostage on more than one occassion, or is his time as a hostage a relief?
Author:  Elle [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October
Stepping over Nell's corpse the Ladies of Lime Green (sorry Lesley) entered the hall, they turned to Jack's study and Hilda kicked the door open. A terrible sight met their eyes. Jack Maynard was sprawled naked in his chair, he was also very dead.

"Oh my god!" cried Joan, rummaging in her bag for a Baileys.

"What killed him?" gasped Kathie.

"I think that should be obvious," said Hilda, "Joey has painted him entirely lime green."

"That was a bit harsh," said a familiar voice.

"Nell!" cried the women together, "We thought you were dead!"

"Not me," said Nell, "I had my skull replaced with steel some years ago."

"Why?"

"In case Evvy ever blew up the chemistry lab again," said Nell, "By the way, there were some strange noises coming from the kitchen, I think we had better investigate." She took a swig from her hip flask and slipped it back into her bra. Turning, she led the way to the kitchen. As she opened the door, a shot rang out. Nell fell to the floor, still, grey, and to all appearances dead. A vision in lime green fled out of the back door cackling manically.

"Is she really dead this time?" asked Nancy, as Hilda tried, and failed to find a pulse.

"I'm afraid so," said Hilda, a sob interrupted her. She spun round, there, with her head on the table sobbing was Anna.

"What's the matter?" asked Nancy.

"Frau Maynard!" sobbed Anna, "She says I can no longer make lemon biscuits!"

"Why? Your lemon biscuits are world famous!"

"Ya! But she says they must now be lime green!"
Author:  Nightwing [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
Uh-oh, looks like Joey's really lost it this time!

(I wonder if lime biscuits would be as good as lemon?)
Author:  Lesley [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
It's okay, Elle, the eye has now clamped shut anyway! And the fact that Hilda cannot find a pulse means nothing - she couldn't find one last time either!


Poor Jack, killed with lime green :mrgreen:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
No! Not Jack! *clings desperately to a naked Jack*

Please come and let Joey be caught and retribution duly dealt with soon!
Author:  Abi [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October
Elle wrote:
"Not me," said Nell, "I had my skull replaced with steel some years ago."

"Why?"

"In case Evvy ever blew up the chemistry lab again," said Nell.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

(Um, Ariel.... I think he might be dead.....)

Thanks Elle!
Author:  jmc [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
Thanks Elle. Next death please. :D
Author:  shazwales [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
And the death toll rises :D :D :D
Thanks elle!
Author:  Smile :) [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
very lime green - must be a fantasy landf for Joey :lol:

Thanks Elle :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 1st October twice
"Oh dear me," said a voice.

They spun round, and there stood the one, the only, living and breathing Nell Wilson.

"I thought you were dead!" cried Hilda in relief.

"Not this time," said Nell, she reached into her bra and pulled out a dented hip flask. She looked at it ruefully, "I've had this since I was 12 years old," she shoved it into her knickers, "What's happened to Joey?"

"She ran thatta way!" declaimed Nancy, pointing to the open door.

"In that case," said the indestructible Miss Wilson, "Let us go after her and she will get her just desserts!"

"And quite how are you planning on achieving that aim?" demanded a voice which dripped lime green from every syllable.
Author:  shazwales [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Thanks Elle

:D :D :D :D :D
Author:  shesings [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Yeaaaaaah can't kill Nell!!!! :lol:

Thanks Elle
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Nell always comes back stronger!

Thankyou!
Author:  Abi [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
*sheds a tear for the hip flask*

Thanks Elle :D
Author:  jmc [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
:lol: :lol: Yay Nell. So just who is the lime green voice if Joey has run away. Hope she hasn't been cloning herself. Thanks Elle
Author:  JB [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Pleased that Nell is indestructable (so far).
Author:  Emma A [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Perhaps Nell is actually a werewolf? After all, Joey hasn't tried killing her with silver, has she? :D

Thanks, Elle.
Author:  JS [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Quote:
*sheds a tear for the hip flask*


It's only dented - I'm sure that means it can still be used; maybe they'd better empty it just in case...
Author:  Emma A [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
JS wrote:
Abi wrote:
*sheds a tear for the hip flask*


It's only dented - I'm sure that means it can still be used; maybe they'd better empty it just in case...

This is reminding me so much of the last episode of 'Blackadder the Third', where Blackadder is saved during his duel (but poor Prince George isn't) due to a hip flask in the breast pocket!
Author:  Elle [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
JB wrote:
Pleased that Nell is indestructable (so far).



I'm not, damn the woman!


It was Joey. Clad from head to foot in the purest lime green, she had a gun in one hand, and a cricket bat in the other. Both were lime green. She grinned, a grin made more evil by her lime green lipstick.

"Well?" demanded Joey, "How do you think you are going to kill me this time?" She swung the cricket bat at Nell, catching her in the groin. There was the sound of wood hitting metal. Even Joey looked surprised.

"What on earth?" she said.

Nell reached into her knickers and pulled out the hip flask, it was damaged beyond repair.

"Ha ha ha!" laughed Joey, her eyes glowing lime green.

"Joey, why are you doing this?" asked Hilda gently removing the hip flask from Nell's trembling fingers, and dropping it on the floor.

"You always leave me out of things!" cried Joey, "You go out without me, Joan won't let me into the secret of her magic handbag, Jack didn't vote for me, you only ever need me when there is a problem new girl you claim you can't deal with! And I am sick of it! You are all going to be punished!"
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
:shock: Uh-oh, what's Joey going to do?

Hopefully nothing too bad! :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Joey swung the cricket bad wildly, whilst taking pot shots with the gun. Luckily she was a terrible shot, and the gun ran out of bullets before she was actually able to hit anyone.

Hilda stood still, watching the carnage around her, occasionally she was forced to make a comment, such as "Nell, you are not in the Matrix, stop doing that" and "Joan, just put the handbag down, it will be quite safe,"

Joey on the other hand was screaming "DIE! DIE! DIE!" as she flailed around with the cricket bat.
Author:  sealpuppy [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Elle wrote:
She swung the cricket bat at Nell, catching her in the groin. There was the sound of wood hitting metal. Even Joey looked surprised.





:lol: Screamed aloud with laughter! I'm off to pour a Jameson's to toast that little gem.
Author:  Abi [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 16th October
Elle wrote:
Nell reached into her knickers and pulled out the hip flask, it was damaged beyond repair.


Oh no! The hip flask is dead! :cry: :cry: :cry:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Quote:
...occasionally she was forced to make a comment, such as "Nell, you are not in the Matrix, stop doing that" and "Joan, just put the handbag down, it will be quite safe,"...


:lol: Thankyou!
Author:  shazwales [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Elle , brilliant!
:D :D :D :D :D
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Clare [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Two images spring to mind - Nel doing the twists and bends as bullets whizz past, or trying to do a Neo and stop them dead in their tracks. Love it!
Author:  Elle [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Clare wrote:
Nel doing the twists and bends as bullets whizz past,


That is what I was imagining.
Author:  JS [ Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Am now picturing the Platz as the Matrix - oh dear :)

Thanks Elle.
Author:  Clare [ Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
:!: Off topic!
Just to tie in another lime green bit of info here, there is a website called the "Disboards" which are for people who are planning trips to Disney. Their official colour is lime green, so people who want to meet up with other "Dissers" wear lime green shirts, mickey ears, ribbons etc... Every time i read about that on that board, I always picture Joey struggling to get the mickey ears to stay on with her earphones!
Author:  jmc [ Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 24th October
Having run out of bullets Joey seized the next available thing, Anna's lime green lemon biscuits. Using the cricket bat she began hitting them at the others. Nancy dived to the front, and with amazing dexterity was able to catch all the biscuits in her teeth, and then swallow them.

"Not bad," she muttered, brushing lime green crumbs from her mouth.

Joey screamed in fury and threw the cricket bat at Nancy's head. Nancy ducked, the cricket bat hit Nell Wilson full in the face, but, thanks to the aforementioned steel skull, did little damage, beyond denting her nose.

Nell picked up the bat, and began advancing on Joey, swinging it expertly, Joey backed into a corner, her eyes darting frantically, looking for some way to escape.
Author:  Abi [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
:lol: :lol: Nancy's dexterity is truly wonderful, but is it really good for her to eat lime green biscuits?

Thanks Elle :D .
Author:  shesings [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
Go for it, Nell! Hit her for a few sixes!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :)
Author:  shazwales [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
:D :D :D :D :D
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
Well done Nancy - just what I'd do! :wink:


Go Nell!!! :lol:
Author:  jmc [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
Hit her out of the ground Nell. :lol:
Author:  JB [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
I'm sure lime green biscuits will be fine to eat. We had bright green icing on my godson's birthday cake the other day and we all survived.

Thanks for the update, Elle.
Author:  JS [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
What other skills did Nancy learn from her brothers, I wonder...
Thanks Elle.
Author:  Nightwing [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
I'm still on Joey's side :mrgreen:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
Oh, dear, this seems to be another drabble descending into madcap violence...

Yay!
Author:  shesings [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
Nightwing wrote:
I'm still on Joey's side :mrgreen:


That's OK. Nightwing, someone has to be, after all! Now just you drink this nice cooling mixture that Matey sent along for you................. :wink:
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
Oh, dear, this seems to be another drabble descending into madcap violence...

Yay!



What do you mean, descending? With Elle's drabbles it's a given! :wink:
Author:  Emma A [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 2:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
EBD would be either turning in her grave, Elle, or else giggling madly... I'd like to think the latter.

Thank-you!
Author:  Smile :) [ Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
Thanks Elle, I love how Nell is totally indestructable.
Author:  Elle [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - update 30th October
But there was no escape. Nell swung the cricket bat with controlled violence, and Joey slumped to the floor. Dropping the bat, Nell grabbed her feet and dragged her to the cellar. Hilda opened the door and together they rolled Joey down the steps. Then Hilda locked the door and put the key in the bread bin. She turned to the remaining staff. "Just once, could we please have a night off that doesn't result in Joey painting the platz lime green in a frenzy afterwards?"

The staff looked at their feet and shuffled guiltily.

"I mean," said Hilda, "Is it too much to ask that you just get her drunk, then put her in a taxi and send her home?"

More shuffling.

"And Anna, stop over reacting please. Joey asks you to make lime green biscuits at least once a week."

"Ja," sighed Anna.

"Now, lets all go and have a gin and tonic."


The End.
Author:  jmc [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Thanks Elle. This has been great. :lol:
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Awwww, it's finished! :cry:


Thanks Elle :lol:
Author:  JS [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Sad it's finished, but great ending, Elle - thanks :D
Author:  shazwales [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
:D :D :D Thanks,that was fun!
Author:  JB [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Thanks Elle. That was a low body count! :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
JB wrote:
Thanks Elle. That was a low body count! :lol:



Maybe I am cured!!!
Author:  Abi [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Fantastic ending - love Hilda's sad comment at the end!

Thanks Elle. :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Quote:
"And Anna, stop over reacting please. Joey asks you to make lime green biscuits at least once a week."

Anyone have a receipe for Lime green biscuits?
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
:lol: Thanks for this, it's been a wonderful drabble!
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Only just found this, but loved it. Mad enough to put a smile on my face even when going back to work after Christmas! :D
Author:  shesings [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
Great drabble and loved Hilda's comments!
Author:  Nicci [ Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A night off - complete 3rd Jan
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

My favourite line, which made me splutter my cranberry juice, was:

Standing on the podium in her starched wonderbra and angels wing headdress, Matron reflected on how all their nights out seemed to end this way.

Absolutely brilliant. And I loved the ending. Goodness, can you imagine that happening on a weekly basis!!
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