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A Conferencing We Will Go!
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=4236
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:11 am ]
Post subject:  A Conferencing We Will Go!
Take three reasonably human Heads. Add assorted, less reasonable deputies, along with a pinch of revenge somewhere along the line. And stir. And this is what you get....

I don't know if this will go anywhere, but I s'pose that revenge has got to be worked in somehow... :twisted:

A Conferencing We Will Go!

"This looks interesting," Hilda Annersley muttered to herself over a letter Rosalie had placed on her desk.

"What does?" her partner demanded from the other side of the table where she was quietly and monotonously cursing the publishers who'd decided not to continue printing her favourite Chemistry textbook.

"It's a conference," the Chalet School's Headmistress explained. "It's intended for head teachers and their deputies. It's taking place in Oxford this year. Shall we go?"

"What happens to the School if we go?"

"Nancy and Kathie here, with Jeanne for backup. I'm sure Julie and Grace can hold the fort at your end."

Nell Wilson leaned back in her chair and studied the ceiling. "Just tell me one thing, Hilda."

"What's that?"

"Does this conference involve alcohol?"

Miss Annersley sighed. It looked like they were off a-conferencing.

**

"No, Albus. Absolutely not. How can you even consider such a thing?"

Albus Dumbledore regarded the pacing form of his deputy headmistress over the top of his half-moon glasses. "Don't you think Pomona and Filius are capable?" he asked mildly.

Minerva McGonagall sent him a glare that should have raised blisters. "I think nothing of the kind. I do, however, find myself doubting your sanity - again! We have Voldemort on the loose and you want yourself, Severus and I to go gallivanting off to this - this -"

"Conference?" Professor Dumbledore supplied. He frowned, and then his long features relaxed. "Have a sherbert lemon, Minerva."

For a moment he honestly believed that Minerva was going to put aside her scruples and Transfigure him into something small and vulnerable. Possibly something that a cat would enjoy eating... He winced and withdrew the sweets.

Minerva sniffed. "What, pray, is a conference?"

Albus brightened. "It's a sort of party that Muggles have. There's a boring bit where someone stands up and talks on a range of topics, and then you may have group discussion. Muggles are very keen on it. 'Continuing professional development', they call it."

His Deputy snorted. "It could be useful for Severus," she allowed. "However, I've been teaching for more than forty years. I'll professional develop them!"

The Headmaster sighed.

Minerva echoed it, although her sigh was one of exasperation. "Why are you so keen on the idea?"

"I thought it would be a useful way of extending our skills and conferring with our colleagues."

"H'mm. Yes. And...?"

"Don't you think it would be interesting to see how Muggles approach school management?"

"And....?"

Albus suddenly looked like a guilty schoolboy. "They do a dinner on the second night. Three courses." A beatific expression crossed his face. "With wine. Lots of wine. And food. And Muggle sweets...."

Minerva huffed. "Oh very well. You may go to your little conference. I suppose I'll have to come with you to prevent you from overdosing on sugar and Severus from committing murder."

Dumbledore smiled. Sometimes it was useful having an overly-conscientous subordinate.

**

"What?!" Constance Hardbroom ejaculated, enunciating every letter in her outrage.

Amelia Cackle seriously contemplated doing a Davina and retiring to the stationery cupboard. "A conference," she repeated. "On school management," she added, hoping this would appeal to a woman who considered 'holiday' to be a dirty word.

"Run by non-magical folk," Constance snapped back. "How can they possibly say anything of any relevance for our work here at Cackle's?"

"Err," said Amelia, whose attention had been mainly riveted by the menu that came with the brochure. Cheese for starters, cheese sauce for mains, and two different types of cheesecake for dessert! It was not within Amelia to resist this particular form of temptation.

"And who," Constance boomed, looming threateningly over the Headmistress, "will watch the school while we run off? Davina? Miss Drill? Frank Blossom?! You may as well end the term now, Miss Cackle. The girls will run wild, especially - "

Amelia sighed. "Now Constance, be fair. Mildred has settled down somewhat this year."

"Unless you count the time she blew up the potions lab. Again."

"You said yourself the burners were faulty."

Constance narrowed her eyes. "Faulty or not, you notice they worked perfectly well until Mildred Hubble worked her own brand of so-called magic on them."

Amelia pursed her lips and looked up at the taller woman. "The conference includes a session on maintaining discipline and controlling unruly pupils."

For a moment Constance looked interested, but then she crossed her arms and looked down her nose at Amelia. Not for the first time, Amelia wished she was a more ... impressive figure.

"There's also something about creative punishments," she added temptingly.

Constance's lips went very thin. "Mildred and her sidekicks will be sent on survival training."

"Yes, Constance."

"Fenella and Griselda can help Miss Bat with the younger ones."

"Absolutely, Constance."

"And if anyone plays up whilst we're gone, they'll be suspended immediately."

"Whatever you say, Constance."

"H'mmm. Very well, Amelia. You've convinced me - against my better judgement, I may add!"

Amelia beamed.

Cheese.

Lots and lots of cheese was looming on her horizon.
Author:  Kadi [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Someone seems to have a real fixation on cheese.

Should be an interesting conference.
Author:  Sugar [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Lisa_T wrote:

I don't know if this will go anywhere, but I s'pose that revenge has got to be worked in somehow... :twisted:


It really doesn't you know! You could just write a nice gentle non revengeful sort of story! :?

Ack who am I kidding do your worst LT! I'm not scared. Not much anyway!
Author:  Liane [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Really interesting start, looks good.
Thanks Lisa
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is looking good Lisa . . .
*settles down to wait for more*
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's an interesting combination!
Author:  Rosalin [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
This looks like fun. Will be interesting to see the revenge as well :lol:

Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Pat [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh good! A LisaT drabble, with revenge thrown in as well.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Well it looks like a number of you could do with cheering up for various reasons, so perhaps a dose of my brand of insanity will help!!

The Worst Witch references come as much from the rather lovely TV series from the late 90s as they do from Jill Murphy's original series. Anyone who's on my flist on lj will have been treated(!) to my raves on the topic lately.

**

Nell Wilson glared at the front door of the Pitt Rivers Museum. "I think we've been had," she grumbled.

Hilda Annersley visibly winced. "It does seem that way," she admitted weakly.

Nell's glare switched to Hilda. "Really? When, precisely, did the realisation dawn? Was it when the ventilation blew my skirt almost over the top of my head? Or the galleries of unborn babies? Or perhaps it was the row of fearsome weapons? Although I grant you all those shiny sharp pointy things could be very useful in a school environment."

Hilda handed Nell her lighter. "Have a cigarette, Nell. The nicotine will help."

Nell shifted her weight and crossed her arms. "Alcohol would be much, much better. You promised me whiskey, Hilda! The finest Scotch! Good French wine!"

"Ah," rumbled an unfamiliar voice, "I'm glad I'm not the only one to be disappointed. Personally, my dear lady, I was looking forward to the dessert. I've never had cheesecake before, you see. The elves won't make it."

"Elves?" Hilda echoed incredulously.

Nell looked as if she was trying very hard to remain dignified and refrain from doing a little "ouchy-that-hurt" dance. "Where the heck did you come from? The North Pole?"

"Nell!"

"The North Pole?" the old man repeated. Then he beamed and gave his long beard a little tug. "Ah yes, I understand. You're referring to my old friend Nicholas."

"You what?!"

"Albus Dumbledore, will you stop doing that? It's very irritating for one thing, and for another you'll get us both into trouble with the Ministry. I -. Oh!"

"Don't tell me," Nell began, jabbing at the direction of the newcomer with her newly lit cigarette, "you're Mrs Claus. Well, I've news for you. Christmas isn't for another four months!"

"I beg your pardon!"

"Calm down, Minerva," the old man said soothingly. "She's got the wrong end of the stick. She thinks I'm Nicholas. The beard, you see."

'Minerva' looked confused. "Nicholas? Which one?"

"Muggles call him Santa Claus."

("I think he's being insulting, but I don't know how," Nell muttered sotto voce into her partner's ear. Hilda simply groaned.)

"Well, I'm not surprised. I did warn you, Albus. Waist length beards aren't exactly considered normal in the Muggle world. You should have glamoured it short."

'Albus' clutched his beard as Minerva approached him. "No. No! You leave my beard alone, Minerva McGonagall! It's not hurting anyone and just think how much the tabby will miss playing with it!"

"Glamour?" Hilda said.

"Tabby?" Nell echoed. "Just what are you people?"

"Isn't it perfectly obvious?" a clipped voice said behind Hilda, and the Chalet School Heads swung round with a gasp. "She's a witch, and he's a wizard. Like she says, the beard tends to give it away."

"'She' is the cat's mother," Nell said, determined to be unpleasant.

"Or in this case, the cat herself," Albus put in, his composure apparently restored.

Their newest recruit sniffed loudly. "Can you tell us where the educational conference is? We are having a little trouble finding it in this potions mausoleum."

Hilda perked up, and then subsided. Nell snickered. Albus played with his beard. Minerva tapped one foot against the concrete and glared at the speaker over the top of her square spectacles.

"Well?"

"Constance! Thank goodness, I thought I'd lost you, and I didn't want to go flying in full view of all of Oxford. I hope you've found it, because my tummy is telling me it's cheesecake time. I - er."

Constance raised an eyebrow as the owner of the voice panted into view.
"Amelia. It looks like you will have to forgo your cheesecake for the day."

Amelia's face fell. "Oh no!"

"And I need a drink," Nell complained. "Badly."

"I'd like both the drink and the cheesecake," Albus lamented. He fished in his pockets. "I suppose an Every-Flavour Bean will have to do."

Hilda, Minerva and Constance looked at each other. And sighed.
Author:  Fi [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:30 am ]
Post subject: 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
This is fabulous Lisa, thank you.
Author:  roversgirl [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank you! :D
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Lisa - enjoying this - somehow knew it wouldn't be plain sailing . . . :lol:
Author:  Pat [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
It was never going to be plain sailing!!! :twisted: :twisted:
Author:  Rosalin [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't often laugh out loud while reading but I did at that. I particularly liked the bits about Dumbledore being mistaken for his old friend Nicholas and McGonagall not being the cat's mother :lol: Hilda and Nell are at a bit of a disadvantage here, I feel.

Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Vikki [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
LOL!!
Fantastic Lisa. Thank you!
Author:  Carolyn P [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is going to be one to watch!
Author:  Sugar [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
FAB Lisa!
Can't wait for more!
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, it was partly due to your encouragement, Carolyn, that I decided to prod the bunny a bit. And I do like Pat's voice of experience, there... Next part.

**

Constance folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "Would any of you care to hazard a guess about whether this conference does, in fact, exist?"

Minerva extracted a roll of parchment and glared at it. "Pitt Rivers Museum, Oxford. Ten o'clock in the morning. 'Management in the school environment : staying solvent, sane, and superior.'"

"They forgot 'sober'," Hilda put in with unusual curtness.

"Never to mention sugar-free," Minerva agreed.

"But where is the conference?" Constance demanded. "I hate to think what our pupils are doing to the Academy in our absence. They need discipline and control!"

"I don't think the conference is here," Minerva responded. "For one thing, where's the river?"

Hilda blinked. "River? You mean the Isis?"

Minerva's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to be humourous?"

"Not particularly. There is a river in Oxford, you know."

Minerva began to move briskly forward. Constance grabbed her arm as she went by. "I really don't think that is a good idea."

The older woman straightened her hat. "She says there is a river. Presumably that is where the conference is!"

"Just forget about the bloody river!" Hilda ordered, surprising herself with that very rare burst of profanity. "The conference hasn't got anything to do with the Isis, or any other river for that matter. It's just the name of a museum. Incidentally, I'm starting to think my deputy is correct. Why, precisely, would anyone choose to host an educational conference in an anthropological museum?"

"Potions ingredients for transforming students into nice manageable frogs, perhaps?" Constance suggested. "On second thought, a Silencio Potion would be much more useful."

"Transfiguration should never be used as a punishment, Constance, and do you really need a potion when a simple Silencio will do?"

"Er," began Hilda.

"Transfiguration is an outdated discipline, as you'd know if you descended from that Scottish castle you stay holed up in all year!"

"Outdated it may be, Constance, but I'm far less likely to kill all my students when a spell goes wrong!"

"Unfortunately!"

Hilda cleared her throat. Rather loudly.

Minerva wheeled around, her eyes bulging. "Don't - do - that!"

"Miss Annersley!"

The three women turned at the sound of a new voice. Hilda heaved a sigh of relief.

"Mary-Lou! My dear, can you tell us if you know if there's any teachers' conferences taking place in Oxford today?"

Mary-Lou frowned. "Let's see. There's one in Pembroke, Balliol, King's, St Peter's, Christchurch -"

Hilda waved a hand. "That's enough, Mary Louise. We don't need a rundown of every college in Oxford. Let's be more specific. We're looking for a conference on -"

"How to manage maddening superiors and infuriating students," Constance finished tartly.

Mary-Lou gaped. "Uh - who are you?"

Hilda blinked. She'd just realised that no-one had actually introduced themselves formally. She gave her former pupil a weak smile; admitting weakness to Mary-Lou was always a bad idea.

Mary-Lou, with her famed perception, seemed to realise it. She grinned widely and extended a hand to Minerva. "Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm Mary-Lou Trelawney and I'm a former pupil of Miss Annersley's, now studying here in Oxford. You are -?"

"Trelawney?" Constance and Minerva spat, sounding equally disgusted.

Mary-Lou's beam faded from blinding to slightly painful. "Yes."

Constance's eyes narrowed. Minerva did her best over-the-spectacles glare.

"I wish to make one thing clear," the latter said frostily. "Neither I nor anyone else here has the intention of dying anytime soon. Is that understood?"

"Um, yes. I suppose so," Mary-Lou stammered, flinging a 'help!' look at her former Headmistress. "Uh -"

Constance pursed her lips. "Really, Miss Annersley, I cannot say much for the standard of English taught at your school if that of Mary-Lou and yourself is anything to go by. Such stuttering. Clear articulation, that's the thing!"

"Introductions, people, introductions!" Mary-Lou put in hastily, having seen a very familiar gleam appear in Miss Annersley's eyes. "This is Hilda Annersley, Headmistress of the Chalet School on the Gornetz Platz in Switzerland.

Minerva and Constance were standing shoulder to shoulder, looking eerily alike. Both were tall and slim to the point of thinness. Both had black hair pulled straight back from their foreheads and twisted into a cruelly tight bun.

Mary-Lou, in true Chalet girl style, forgot the important point and focused on inessentials. "I say! You two do look awfully alike. Are you related?"

A flash of something whipped out and Mary-Lou found herself bound and gagged.

Hilda gasped and her eyes went from her madly struggling ex-pupil to her new companions. Then she relaxed and smiled. "Thank you," she said pleasantly. "I've been longing to do that for years." She extended a hand. "As she said, I'm Hilda Annersley of the Chalet School. You are -?"

Minerva unbent a little. "Professor Minerva McGonagall of Hogwarts. I'm Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor."

Constance exhaled in exasperation. "And I'm Constance Hardbroom of Cackle's Academy for Witches."

"Witches?" Hilda repeated, a lot of things suddenly becoming clear.

"Witches," Constance affirmed. She folded her arms again. "Moreover, we have something other than pleasantries to concern ourselves with. Where have our colleagues gone?"
Author:  Liz K [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
A flash of something whipped out and Mary-Lou found herself bound and gagged.

Hilda gasped and her eyes went from her madly struggling ex-pupil to her new companions. Then she relaxed and smiled. "Thank you," she said pleasantly. "I've been longing to do that for years.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I love it, absolutely love it, bet Miss Annersley's not the only one who's been wanting to do that.
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:54 am ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So where have Nell and the others gone then?


Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Catherine [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Sugar wrote:
Ack who am I kidding do your worst LT! I'm not scared. Not much anyway!



Provided she keeps CBBers out of it (and no, Lisa, I'm definitely not trying to give you ideas!! :evil:), we should be relatively safe ... or as safe as it is possible to be when Lisa's around!!


Thanks Lisa, keep it coming! :rofl:
Author:  Jennie [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely, OOAO silenced at last. Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
*g* Thought you would appreciate that, Jennie! More coming later. :twisted:
Author:  francesn [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love it, absolutely love it!

But what exactly are Nell, Amelia and Dumbledore getting up to? And does it involve whiskey, cheese and/or sugar?

MORE please!
Author:  Elbee [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Love the silencing of Mary-Lou :lol: !

Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol:
Thanks Lisa

BTW - where have the others gone?
*sits down to wait for more - coffee anyone?*
Author:  roversgirl [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks :)
Author:  Sugar [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 7:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: Brilliant!
Author:  BethC [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol:
Wonderful!
Author:  Nell [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
francesn wrote:
I love it, absolutely love it!

But what exactly are Nell, Amelia and Dumbledore getting up to? And does it involve whiskey, cheese and/or sugar?

MORE please!


I'm expecting so!

This is wonderful!
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
More!
**

Nell Wilson was bewildered. This was not something that happened every day, but then it wasn't every day that a dumpy little woman grabbed her arm, muttered something cheesecake, and dragged her towards the Santa Claus lookalike.

Albus, as the Santa Claus person was more properly called, had beamed and twinkled at them before waving a hand. Nell had seen stars. Literally. She could swear she'd recognised a constellation or three.

...and now they were... Somewhere Else.

"I don't think we're in Oxford anymore," she muttered.

Amelia was brushing the space dust off her drab grey and black outfit. "What's that, dear?"

"Where are we?" Nell asked loudly.

Albus's eyes twinkled so brightly that Nell blinked. "You really shouldn't do that, you know," she said matter-of-factly. "Now, where - are - we?"

Albus waved a nonchalant hand. "I really couldn't tell you. We are whereever you wish to be. Look around you, and what do you see?"

Nell's eyes lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree. "O'Connell Street. Brilliant. And there's the pub! Drink!"

"Nonsense!" Amelia said tartly. "We're in Innsbruck. Look at all the little patisseries!"

Nell's eyes narrowed. "Now listen up, Amelia Cackle. I lived in the Austrian Tyrol for a good ten years, and I can assure you that I've never seen signs bearing the legends "Get your Guinness Here!" or "Drink, Food, Craic" anywhere near the vicinity of Innsbruck!"

Amelia stuck her bottom lip out, causing her to resemble a sulky child. She looked at Albus. "Just out of curiosity, Professor, where do you think we are?"

"Honeyduke's," Albus returned, a blissed out expression on his face. Minerva tended to deal with this by applying some kind of shock, but Amelia and Nell didn't know that. They did, however, know that whereever they were, they had no hope of getting back to where they should be until Albus returned to some form of coherence.

Amelia sighed. "Is any of this real, do you think?"

Nell shook her head. "I've no idea. I don't care. I want a drink! I think I'll need it before we can deal with Professor Sugarbaby over there, and I hate to think what Hilda will do to me if I'm away too long."

Amelia nodded mournfully. "I do understand. My deputy headmistress is rather .... H'mm." She stopped and glanced, furtively, about her. "She's a little difficult," she whispered.

It was Nell's turn to look sympathetic. "Hilda's not exactly difficult, she's just -"

:twisted: :twisted:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 1:29 am ]
Post subject: 
This is brilliant Lisa. "Professor Sugarbaby"..... :lol: And I wonder what Severus is up to......
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Nell and Amelia seem kindred spirits! :lol:


Thanks Lisa
Author:  Liane [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Loving this.
Thanks Lisa
Author:  Jennie [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great, Lisa. More, please.
Author:  Rosalin [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Loving this, thanks Lisa :lol: :lol:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol:
Thanks Lisa
Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
:D :D :D :D at Nell in Honeydukes. The mix of heads and schools is fantastic
Author:  Kathy_S [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fascinating. :twisted:

Thank you, Lisa.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cath wanted to know where Severus was. Sevvy alert, therefore....

**

Severus Snape paced the street outside Blackwell's Bookshop. He was in a foul mood. Admittedly, Severus was always in a foul mood, but today his mood was even fouler than usual. He'd been asked (well, ordered) by Minerva to place half a dozen book orders and then to stand by ready to assist should Albus become incapacitated through sugar consumption. Or alcohol. Or both.

Severus hoped there wasn't any whiskey at this thingummyjig, as Minerva McGonagall had never been yet known a pass up a wee dram. And when she got drunk she tended to transfigure her usual sober robes into a hideous tartan concoction and then sing Flower of Scotland at the top of her voice.

He could forgive the singing, but it wasn't even in tune, and he'd never mastered the art of transfiguring his perfectly adequate auditory nerve into a damaged one. Therefore, he was forced to suffer. Respectfully, because Minerva McGonagall, unlike Dumbledore, was not known for her sense of humour.

Having completed his order in Blackwell's and walked out of the shop with eyes fixed firmly on the street (Books were calling him. Loudly...) he then pulled his hat down over his eyes and lolled against the shop window in a manner resembling a 1950s spy. Which was oddly appropriate, all things considered, but in truth Severus was just having a nap.

Only the cursed sun was too bright, even through the heavy canvas of his hat. With a wordless snarl that caused a passing dog to jump and snarl back, he whipped the aforesaid hat off his head, shoved it under his arm and started marching in the vague direction of the Pitt Rivers Museum. He was halfway there when he spied a group of rather agitated women. As luck would have it, one of them was Minerva. For a moment, Severus considered pretending he wasn't there, but he knew it was too late. It was time to confront his doom.

Forget Death Eaters.

Forget Dark Lords.

Forget Neville Longbottom.

Severus's deepest, darkest fear was an absolute terror of being ambushed by three very talkative, strong minded women. Especially when two of them were capable of doing something seriously nasty to him, whilst the third had a certain aura to her that made even Snape decide to tread carefully.

Severus Snape squeaked in horror at the thought, straightened his shoulders, and walked manfully to meet his fate.
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Poor Snape - almost feel sorry for him! :lol:



Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Xanthe [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Lisa this is geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenius.
Author:  Jennie [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Echoes Lesley. Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
....whilst the third had a certain aura to her that made even Snape decide to tread carefully.

Good thinking, Snape! :lol:

*giggling quietly to myself here, Lisa* :twisted:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wot Lesley sed :lol:

Also :lol: :lol: at Mary's comment

Thanks Lisa - really enjoying this
Author:  linda [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:

I'm loving this, it's fabulous

Thanks Lisa
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda's blue-grey eyes that had never yet needed glasses (except on the sly when no-one was looking) narrowed as they fell upon someone who looked Very Suspicious Indeed.

Without even stopping to express her thoughts to Constance or Minerva, she marched off to meet the Evil One, who was garbed in black, complete with floppy hat and outsize sunglasses.

"What have you done with them?" she demanded.

"Eh?" responded Severus, understandably startled.

"Hilda -" began Minerva.

The Chalet School's Headmistress ignored her. Instead she turned to Constance, and before the latter could do or say anything, she snatched the parasol from the younger woman's hands.

"Excuse me!" Constance protested. "I need that!"

"So do I!" Hilda returned smartly as Severus began to back away. Slowly.

He didn't get very far. With a speed that made the two witches open their eyes widely, Hilda flipped the parasol around, and neatly hooked Severus by the neck, much as one captures animals that are attempting to escape.

"Min - Min - Min- " Severus stuttered.

"UmmmhmmmUMPH!" Mary-Lou yelled, since she was still bound and gagged.

Minerva's eyes went dubiously from the protesting Mary-Lou to her grimly determined ex-Headmistress and frowned. These people were very strange.

"Keep perfectly calm, Severus," Minerva called. "All shall be well!" She turned and grabbed Constance by the arm and then starting running. Her speed was pretty impressive for a woman in her 70s, sprightly or otherwise.

"Where - are - we - going?" Constance panted. All that apparating about did nothing for one's physical fitness, and why walk when you have a perfectly functioning broomstick?

"Miiiiiiin!" howled Severus as well as he could through the stranglehold of Hilda's brolly.

"WAAAAAAAH!" wailed Mary-Lou, on seeing her enchanters to a runner.

"Stop making that noise at once," Hilda said sternly. "You're supposed to be adults, not spineless jellyfish."

Severus's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and for a split second ... a titchy-witchy eeny split second, Hilda wondered if she should show some of her famed mercy. She didn't want the man to have a stroke, after all.

But then she thought of Nell and the dear old Santa Claus Man, and sweet Amelia with her love of cheese, and her hold on the parasol tightened.

Everyone was always blathering on about abbesses and gentleness and justice and whatnot. They seemed to forget that 'Hilda' also meant warrior-woman....
Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
Everyone was always blathering on about abbesses and whatnot. They seemed to forget that 'Hilda' also meant warrior-woman....


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
So Hilda has decided to be a warrior rather than an abbess this time :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Rosalin [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wonder what McGonagall's up to....

Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Carolyn P [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Absolutly brilliant!

Hilda taking the silencing of ML in her stride with pleasure....Sugar....Nell in Honeydukes.....cheese......Snape having a nap.....warrior woman......


Wonderful!

~Go for it Lisa.
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Go Hilda!!!! :lol:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:00 am ]
Post subject: 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Poor Severus.....I'm almost sorry I asked - all he wanted was a nap against Blackwell's window and to listen to the siren song of books!

Am considering possible outcome of encounter between Hilda and Voldemort, and finding flicker of sympathy for the latter.... :lol:

Thank you Lisa.
Author:  roversgirl [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Poor Snape... thanks :D
Author:  Han [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is livening up a slow afternoon at work quite successfully! Thanks, Lisa! “Professor Sugarbaby” very nearly made me giggle, and that would have gotten me several odd looks from my colleagues.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
*wonders if Hilda has been influenced by Amelia Peabody*

Thank you, Lisa. :lol:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
More soon. Just back from conference... And have collected thesis for final teeny modifications before It Is Done. Squee.

and Kathy, I knew you were gonna say that. However, check out the Worst Witch episode The Great Outdoors and the parasol references will make perfect sense. Although I did tell someone on lj that Constance and Amelia Peabody are uncannily similar that episode. Down to the perpetuating violence with the parasol, which is what inspired Hilda's antics.

WATCH THIS SPACE

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

(There, Lesley. How's that for a cliff?)
Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:02 am ]
Post subject: 
More, as promise. Sorry for the spree...

**

Meanwhile, Minerva and Constance were hiding behind a convenient phonebox watching as Hilda terrorised Severus.

"It's incredible," the Scottish witch said. "I haven't seen Severus look that intimidated since his student days."

"Never mind that," Constance responded loudly over Mary-Lou's screaming. "I want my parasol back! You see," she added, "it isn't an ordinary parasol."

Minerva stopped frowning. "It isn't?"

"It's my broomstick," the younger witch confessed. "That's the best way of carrying it amongst Muggles."

"So what's the issue? All you have to do is transfigure it back!"

Constance sniffed. "And how do you think Severus will respond to a mouth of twigs?"

Hogwart's deputy headmistress snorted. "Badly. In fact, he could probably be heard all over Oxford!"

"And more to the point, he's liable to be violent. Do you really want to have to explain all this to the local constabulary?"

"Er - no. Very well; there's only one thing for it." Minerva extracted her wand (it had been transfigured into a pencil) and whispered "Accio Constance's broom!"

...and was promptly knocked over as the broom obeyed at high speed. Minerva spat out the mouthful of twigs and glared at Constance as the younger woman helped her to her feet.

"Why didn't you tell me that your broom is a Nimbus 2000?!"

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!" Mary-Lou could be heard screaming.

Constance glared in the general direction of the unfortunate screamer. "Well, really, I've had just about enough of this." Two jets of sparks shot from her extended thumb and little finger and there was a startled "Mmph!" before blessed silence descended.

Both witches sighed in relief.

"I think it's safe to go back," Constance commented after a moment.

"And Severus is making me nervous. He is being far, far too quiet!"

Cautiously, they extracted themselves from their rather tight hidey-hole between the phonebox and the wall, and went to rejoin their companions.

And realised why the silence was total.

Severus's mouth gaped.

Mary-Lou's eyes bulged so much that Constance was reminded of toads.

Minerva simply shuddered at the unwelcome thought of Dolores Umbridge.

....and Hilda Annersley had evidently found time to nip into the local vintage-cum-charity shop, for she stood like a figure out of legend - brown hair whipping in the wind, long white gown, a shiny Civil War helment, and a breastplate that on first glance seemed to be made of metal, but on closer inspection turned out to be kitchen foil. Most worryingly of all, she carried a very, very long sword. A very long sharp sword.

Constance and Minerva looked at each other.

And squeaked.

They were in big, big trouble.

"We always said the Abbess was dangerous when she was roused," Mary-Lou commented into the sudden quiet, having finally managed to chew her way through the gag. "We just didn't realise it was the literal truth!"
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:51 am ]
Post subject: 
That's my girl! :wink: :twisted:
Author:  roversgirl [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Fantastic! Thanks :D
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:04 am ]
Post subject: 
:shock: :shock: Wonderful! :lol: :lol:
Author:  Catherine [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Madness!

Thanks, Lisa. :D
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cue short burst of 'Ride of the Valkyrie'?

Trust Mary-Lou to evade a gag....
Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
And more! This bunny is biting hard.

**
Back in Honeydukes, Nell and Amelia found themselves staring openmouthed as Albus chortled contentedly to himself at ceiling level. The woman at the counter was obviously not bothered.

"Does he do this often?" Nell asked politely.

"Usually twice a week," the witch at the til replied without looking up.

Nell frowned. "How do you get him down again?"

"I don't. Now leave me alone; I'm counting this week's takings!"

"Shopkeepers," Nell sniffed. "They're all the same. Amelia -?"

"Don't look at me!" Cackle's headmistress protested. "I don't know how to get him down again!"

Nell glared. "Are you a witch or not?"

"Oh, I'm a witch," Amelia said placidly as she sampled the cheesecake flavoured boiled sweets that turned into fluffy creaminess in the mouth. "Hmmmm. Yummy. I'll have another of those, thanks!"

"I'm counting!" the witch at the til snapped.

Amelia shrugged and continued to help herself, rather to Nell's horror.

"So you can't do anything," she said as Amelia closed her eyes in bliss. And then started to rise. "Oh no you don't!" Nell snapped, grabbing the other woman's skirt as she started to drift. "You're staying right here with me. Oi, you!"

"Silencio!" the witch at the til yelled back, and Nell found herself unable to make a further sound. She took advantage of it by mouthing every swear word she could think of in English, French, German and Italian at the attendant, who continued in blessed ignorance.

Nell sighed silently in satisfaction at being able to relieve her feelings so effectively and then turned her thoughts towards her current predicament. Here she was, stuck in a magical sweet shop with a blissed-out wizard and a witch on a literal high - and she herself was as practical and as non-magical as it was possible to be.

"Hmmm," she said, and then perked up when she realised she was making a noise. Evidently the Silencing Spell was of short duration. She grabbled Amelia's skirt again and pulled hard. For a wonder, woman and garment actually remained together and drifted obediently down.

"I've had an idea. Amelia, cry."

"I don't have anything to cry about!" Amelia told her. "I'm perfectly happy!"

"That's the problem," Nell returned sourly. "You're too happy. Now think sad thoughts .... thaaaat's it... it's working..... Great! Are you back on your feet again?"

"I-I think so!" Amelia sobbed.

Nell gave her a shake. "Now, now. Stop crying. It doesn't do anyone any good, and you want to be a strong woman, don't you, and not a spineless jellyfish?"

"No. I'd rather be a - a sp- pineless j-jellyf-fish!"

"At least it'll keep you grounded," Nell said philosophically as she patted her howling colleague on the shoulder. "I wonder if it'll work with him? What do you think will depress him?"

"T-try V-voldem-mort," Amelia sniffed. She was evidently getting herself under control again, Nell noted with approval. Time to sort the other one.

She walked towards Dumbledore and grabbled the gold-trimmed purple robe (hadn't he been wearing a suit earlier?!) and yanked. "Professor!" she called.

"Yes, dear lady?" Albus twinkled. Nell wondered if there was some enchantment on his glasses.

"You're too happy!" Nell shouted.

"Isn't it marvellous?" Albus giggled, spreading his arms wide and soaring across the shop like a bird. The shopkeeper simply ducked and continued with her counting.

"We need you down here to get back to Oxford!" Nell insisted.

"Oxford will wait!"

"But my headmistress won't!"

"And n-neither w-will my deputy!" Amelia put in.

Nell threw her a look of approval. "That's the spirit! Now think Voldemort!"

"A-and D-death-heaters," Amelia supplemented.

Nell stared. "What in the blue blazes is a death heater?"

"Death Eaters," Amelia repeated.

"Don't be ridiculous. There's no such thing. You can't eat death. Really, what an idea!"

"Unfortunately, Miss Wilson, there are indeed Death Eaters," the now grounded Dumbledore said gravely. "In fact, there's one behind you -"
Author:  roversgirl [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks :D
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:15 am ]
Post subject: 
I can't believe I forgot about this! This is hilarious :lol: Am wondering which death eater is behind Nell?
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:48 am ]
Post subject: 
This continues to be outstandingly good :lol: :lol:
Thanks Lisa
Author:  MaryR [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's not Hilda in her Boudicca outfit, is it? :shock:

Poor Nell, such a predicament, but being resourceful and practical has its advantages - especially when she manages to keep woman and garment together. :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
So Dumbledore thought the shop keepers were death eaters? This just gets better and more complex.
Author:  Sal [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
:rofl: This is wonderful, thanks Lisa.
Author:  linda [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :rofl: Absolutely wonderful :rofl: :lol: .

Even Voldemort would not stand a chance against Hilda in full flow as the warrior queen.

Love this, Lisa, thank you
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
More!
**

"Oh, stop it!" Nell snapped. "We're not in a pantomime, you know."

"Well..." Amelia began.

"Actually, Miss Wilson, you are correct -" Dumbledore attempted.

"Thank you!" said Nell, nose in the air.

"It's not a Death Eater per se," Albus went on. "It's Tom Riddle."

Amelia turned an odd shade of yellow white (Nell put this down to an excess of cheese) and fell slowly to the ground where she lay gray, still, and to all appearances unconscious.

Nell rolled her eyes. "I don't care who this Tom Riddle may be-"

"But -" Albus tried to interrupt, but Nell drove on.

"- and I'm sure he can't eat death. The idea is preposterous! Now, let us pick Amelia up and get OUT OF HERE!"

"I'm afraid that will not be possible," a hissing voice said from behind Nell.

She swung round, grey eyes narrowed in the glare that had terrorised several generations of Chalet girls. "Indeed? Why not, pray? And don't you think it's time for you to visit the optician's? I'm sure those red eyes can't be healthy."

With that, Nell stalked off out of Honeydukes, totally oblivious to the fact that one headmistress, one headmaster, one shopkeeper, and one Dark Lord were all standing like a row of startled codfish.
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
You go, Nell! :lol:

Who would stand against the pair of them? :lol:


Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, that's something he didn't bargain for! :D

Thank you Lisa, my morning has just been brightened!
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, you do keep giving me these ideas, Cath. :lol:
Author:  roversgirl [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:18 am ]
Post subject: 
oh fantastic! Thank you :)
Author:  Han [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 10:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Yay! I'm really enjoying this Lisa, thanks! Particularly like Amelia opting to stay a spineless jellyfish after all :lol:
Author:  Jennie [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Hilarious, Lisa. I'm sending lots of treats for your bunnies.
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good to see the Dark Lord stunned by a Muggle!!!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :witch: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :witch: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yay!
Go Nell, Go Hilda 8)

Thanks Lisa
Author:  Elle [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just found this and I think it is excellent!


Thank you!
Author:  Dawn [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's just made me giggle out loud - good job I'm on my own!

Thankyou Lisa
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lesley wrote:
Who would stand against the pair of them? :lol: .

Why, the startled codfish, of course, Lesley! :lol:

Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
You mean like the goldfish in the first ep of Torchwood? Hmmm.

*off to contemplate mixing fish and Dark Lords*
Author:  Elbee [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Brilliant :lol: :rofl: . Nice one, Nell :lol: .

Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Xanthe [ Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:05 am ]
Post subject: 
*giggling happily*
Author:  Carolyn P [ Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:50 am ]
Post subject: 
*Sighs in giggly contentment*
Author:  Cath V-P [ Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Maybe the Dark Lord simply made a mist-hake? And is now floundering?
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
The Fishy Bunny didn't want to play. I did get this bit last night, though:

Voldemort was so startled at being summarily dismissed that he staggered backwards. Albus and Amelia, who were equally startled, found themselves automatically attempting to steady him before Albus grabbed Amelia's arm and Disapparated, leaving He Who Must Not Be Named to become He Who Sprawls On The Ground Like A Clumsy Plonker.

"Grrrrr!" said Lord Voldemort eloquently as he staggered to his feet. Regenerated bodies were all very well, but they weren't terribly good at flexibility. Just ask the Borg. Still snarling at growling, he thought for a long moment about where Dumbledore and Co. could be.

A travesty of a smile crossed his bloodless face and he waved his arms in a curiously graceful movement before disappearing into thin air.
Author:  roversgirl [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: Thanks. I'm guessing they're at the bar?
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Have they left Nell behind and if so what is the dark lord going to do??

A cliff I think, are you taking lessons from Lesley?
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Not at all. I was working and had to post and get of Firefox in a hurry.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
More, please? :rofl:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Seconds request for more, please :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Love Voldemort standing like a stranded codfish :lol:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Voldemort is after us!" Amelia exclaimed breathlessly as she, Dumbledore and Nell Wilson Apparated almost on top of the Oxford contingent.

No-one responded, not even Nell Wilson or Constance Hardbroom or Severus Snape, all of whom were reasonably unflappable. Amelia frowned and gave Nell a shake. "You tell them!" she insisted. "You-Know-Who is about!"

Hilda Annersley, still in her Boudicca gear, frowned. Her helmet slipped over her eyes, but she still managed to sound her usual dignified self as she (typically) protested at Amelia's obscure language. "There's no point in being so vague," she said severely. "I don't know who, and neither will anyone else unless you specify the 'who'!"

"We mustn't," Minerva stated from where she was trying to slap Severus Snape into something resembling common sense. "It's taboo."

"What is?" Hilda demanded, understandably confused.

"Naming He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"That's why he's called 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'," Severus put in helpfully. Obviously Minerva's slapping had revived him from the gibbering hysterics he'd been reduced to by Hilda's rather odd outfit.

"Hilda?" Nell said, having finally managed to pull herself together. "Er- what are you wearing?"

Hilda Annersley sniffed in an excellent imitation of Constance Hardbroom. "We are in trouble, Nell," she said grandly. "Evidently, this has escaped your notice, but - "

"Er," said Nell.

"-gentleness and tempering justice with mercy is not going to work this time. No! There is evil on the loose -"

"That's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," Severus added with a shudder.

"Severus, Minerva, I have told you many times: fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. You-Know-Who's name is just that - a name, a word. By subscribing to Tom Riddle's mythos, you are - What?"

"You are interrupting me, Professor Dumbledore," Miss Annersley said in her most glacial tones.

To the astonishment of Minerva and Severus, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump and Discoverer of the Twelve Uses of Dragon's Blood, fell meekly silent. They gawked at Hilda.

"You are gonna have to teach me how to do that," Severus muttered. "You are so gonna have to teach me how to do that!"
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
"You are gonna have to teach me how to do that," Severus muttered. "You are so gonna have to teach me how to do that!"


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks Lisa
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
(((((Hilda)))))

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Thanks Lisa.
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Lisa I agree with Abbeybufo response to Snapes comment.

Like Hilda and Nells confusion at Tome Ridlle.

:lol: :lol: :lol: at Hilda as Boudicca
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
You know my weird view of Hilda and her uniform, Lisa. :lol:

But she has to be seen - or heard - to be believed, doesn't she? :P As they are finding out! But I bet she doesn't teach you, Severus. That's her secret weapon!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  Miss Di [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Cath VP told me I had to read about this conference. I can see why!! :lol:

Thanks Lisa.
Author:  Carolyn P [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Marvellous!
Author:  Smile :) [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is great Lisa :lol:
Author:  roversgirl [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is fantastic! Thanks :)
Author:  Carolyn P [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Is there another episode of this story?
*please*
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
There will indeed be more, but probably not until next week as I am off to Italy for a week and am in the process of trying to sort everything out. Funny, I can organise a trip to mainland UK without batting an eyelid, but I'm having phases of feeling absolutely terrified about this Florence trip. Partly it's the language issue, but also the general 'waaagh' or organising an honest to goodness proper holiday trip to a really different country...*gulp*

Now I know I'm grown up...
Author:  Tara [ Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Just caught up with this - brilliant, Lisa, amazing how well the combination works.
Have a lovely holiday (being grown-up is quite fun, really), look forward to more when you're back.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Brilliant.... I can see this! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Enjoy your holiday Lisa!
Author:  Clare [ Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
With that, Nell stalked off out of Honeydukes, totally oblivious to the fact that one headmistress, one headmaster, one shopkeeper, and one Dark Lord were all standing like a row of startled codfish.


Brilliant Lisa! I've just read this through from the start and I'm looking forward to more :lol:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sat May 03, 2008 11:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Severus squeaked when the full force of Hilda's blue-grey gaze focused on him.

"I beg your pardon?" It was said gently, but even Severus, Greasy Bat and Spy Extraordinaire, winced at the razor sharp edge under the gentleness.

"Er," he said.

Constance sniffed. "Really -"

Miss Annersley looked at her. "Would you like a tissue, Miss Hardbroom?" whereat Constance narrowed her eyes.

Amelia shut her own eyes tightly and winced. She even contemplated covering her ears. She was mildly surprised when the only thing that happened was the familiar flash as Constance zapped herself away.

"She can't do that!" Minerva said loudly, being the only non-Chalet School adult who was more or less in possession of her faculties.

Miss Annersley smiled gently. "Evidently, she can," she remarked. "She just did!"

If Minerva McGonagall had been a schoolgirl, she would have danced in frustration. Instead, she relieved her feelings by turning into a cat, swearing loudly at Hilda, cat-fashion, and returning her her human self.

"She can't!" the Scottish witch insisted loudly. "It's not allowed. It's against the Statute of Secrecy!"

The Chalet School's Headmistress remained unruffled. "In that case, you mean that Miss Hardbroom is not allowed to er - do what she just did. She is obviously more than capabe of doing it, so it is inaccurate to say that she can't - vanish."

"What?!" Minerva had evidently never been taught the finer points of the English language. Hilda's eyebrows contracted. Nell sighed.

"Hilda - " she began warningly.

Her friend ignored her. Her attention was fixed on Minerva. "You see," she said, still with that disturbing gentleness, "the question is not can, but may."

Minerva's eyes popped.

Nell sighed again. Gustily.

Hilda beamed and then turned back to Nell. "That's that then," she said briskly. "They've all been dealt with for the good of their souls. Shall we go and do likewise to He-With-The-Ridiculously-Hyphenated-Name?" Without waiting for an answer, she moved away.

Nell relaxed and grinned broadly before doing likewise. "Hilda, there is no-one like you. No-one at all!"
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sun May 04, 2008 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Amazing the language cats can get away with. :lol:

Can't wait to see just how Mr. Hyphenated is dealt with!
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sun May 04, 2008 5:46 am ]
Post subject: 
By having a period put to his existence perhaps? :lol:
Hilda's coping with them so splendidly.....
Author:  Lesley [ Sun May 04, 2008 8:00 am ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Looooove Minerva swearing in cat.

As for Hilda - absolutely marvellous! :lol:


Thanks Lisa.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun May 04, 2008 10:54 am ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Thanks Lisa, this is wonderful :D
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun May 04, 2008 1:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Minerva not understanding Hilda's use of can and may.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks for the update.
Author:  MaryR [ Sun May 04, 2008 2:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
*all been dealt with for the good of their souls* :lol: :lol:

Now where, I wonder, did I just see those very words, Lisa?? :wink: Might have known you'd find a good use for them! :P

Can just see Nell standing there thoroughly disgusted with her. But knowing she wouldn't be alowed to get a word in edgeways. :rofl:

Thank you.
Author:  Sal [ Sun May 04, 2008 2:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
Hilda beamed and then turned back to Nell. "That's that then," she said briskly. "They've all been dealt with for the good of their souls. Shall we go and do likewise to He-With-The-Ridiculously-Hyphenated-Name?" Without waiting for an answer, she moved away.


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks Lisa this is brilliant
Author:  Liane [ Sun May 04, 2008 5:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: Thanks Lisa.
You've reminded me of my love of The Worst Witch.
Author:  Miss Di [ Mon May 05, 2008 4:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Cath V-P wrote:
By having a period put to his existence perhaps?


Very Loud Groans from the peanut gallery.
Author:  linda [ Tue May 06, 2008 12:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Lisa T wrote:
[quote]Hilda beamed and then turned back to Nell. "That's that then," she said briskly. "They've all been dealt with for the good of their souls. Shall we go and do likewise to He-With-The-Ridiculously-Hyphenated-Name?" Without waiting for an answer, she moved away. [/quote

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Trust Hilda to pull Minerva up on the correct usage of 'can' and 'may'! What will she do to He-With-The-Ridiculously-Hyphenated-Name??? :lol: :lol:

Great to see this back. Thanks Lisa
Author:  Rosalin [ Tue May 06, 2008 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Love the way Hilda and Nell are dealing with all the magical folk whilst they (H&N) ought to be the ones at a disadvantage.

Thanks Lisa
Author:  Elle [ Wed May 07, 2008 3:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lisa_T wrote:
He-With-The-Ridiculously-Hyphenated-Name?


I am never going to think of him in the same way... Or Hilda... Thanks Lisa, I am almost crying with laughter!
Author:  Pat [ Wed May 07, 2008 8:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Would love to see JKR's reaction to that name!!!
Author:  Tara [ Thu May 08, 2008 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"Hilda, there is no-one like you. No-one at all!"

Absolutely! Loved seeing Snape totally vanquished, and don't give anything at all for 'He-With-The-Ridiculously-Hyphenated-Names''s chances :lol: .
Cath V-P wrote:
By having a period put to his existence perhaps?
Splutters :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ghoti [ Mon May 26, 2008 11:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Loving this :)

Is there more? *offers tempting bunny treats*
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue May 27, 2008 4:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just to let you know that this has not been forgotten and I will be back to it shortly, but I'm very near to finishing Love and Obedience and want to get that done first.

And Cath, your puns are both groan-inducing and hysterically funny! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri May 30, 2008 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Love the new name given to Voldemort :lol:
Author:  di [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:01 am ]
Post subject: 
I've just found this and have read it from the beginning, chortling at intervals at the thought of all these magical folk being put in their place by our Hilda. Go for it, girl! :lol:

More, more, please, when you can, :D Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
This bunny came back. Hopefully he'll stick around for a bit!

***

Mary-Lou, degagged and despelled, began to stealthily creep in the direction of Severus who was leaning against a lamp post and doing a believable impression of Sam Spade. His magical colleagues were standing to one side in the middle of a furious discussion, but Severus had decided to sit out of this one and take a moment to enjoy Masquerading As A Muggle.

He was also enjoying being left to himself.

Mary-Lou, needless to add, did not know this. She had also convinced herself that the various spells she'd watched McGonagall and Co. cast had been a figment of her over-examined brain - or perhaps just some clever sleight of hand - and had chosen to remain with them rather than follow her erstwhile headmistresses who she judged to be Dangerous To Know at this point. And there was poor Severus, she thought pitifully, standing all by his lonesome whilst his weird friends argued and barneyed amongst themselves. Mary-Lou sniffed. This was unacceptable. Everyone had to be included, even the ones who didn't want to be.

She sidled up to Severus and tugged his coat.

Before she could say anything Severus whipped round muttered something that sounded vaguely (but only vaguely) like Latin, and before Mary-Lou could take another breath she'd been frozen in place and unable to do anything more.

"Do - not - touch - me!" Severus snarled, all his teeth clearly visible.

Mary-Lou decided she'd gotten the wrong analogy. This man was no Sam Spade; no. He was Dracula!

Since she was not totally devoid of Slytherin instincts, she waited until Severus relaxed enough to release her from the Petrification spell and then screamed blue murder. The others would help her, wouldn't they?

She was most put out when Minerva paused mid-flow, glanced at Severus, and called, "Snape, do something about her, would you?"

"As you wish, Minerva," Severus said docilely.

Mary-Lou stopped screamed long enough to smirk and then carried on. That showed him, didn't it.

Severus displayed all his teeth again and his black eyes glittered creepily. It really wasn't very hard to carry on screaming.

"Silencio!"

Mary-Lou's eyes bugged.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yay! It's back :D :D

Thanks Lisa - :rofl:
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
good it is back, Thanks for the update.
Author:  di [ Sat Oct 11, 2008 10:11 am ]
Post subject: 
yeh, it's back. Good to see this again.
Thanks. More, Lisa, when you can.
Author:  MaryR [ Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mary-Lou not devoid of Slytherin instincts? :rofl: Brilliant. As was Snape's docility to Minerva. It didn't last though, did it? :twisted:

Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  Sarah [ Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Yay! An update! :D
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:39 am ]
Post subject: 
A silencio! - possibly Mary-Lou's worst nightmare..... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  moiser30 [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love it, I couldn't stop laughing.
Author:  Tara [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Mary-Lou sniffed. This was unacceptable. Everyone had to be included, even the ones who didn't want to be.


:D :D :D :D Great to have this back, Lisa.
Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Glad you are enjoying. Bit more...

***

Since she'd been so effectively silenced, Mary-Lou had no choice but to listen to the discussion of the magical group.

"We've got to do something, Albus," Minerva was insisting. "We can't let a pair of defenceless Muggles go after You-Know-Who in that fashion!"

If Mary-Lou had been capable of making any sound she'd have snorted at that. The Abbess and Bill, defenceless? Never!

"Let them go," Severus said lazily. "You did tell them how dangerous the Dark Lord is, didn't you?"

"Well -" began Dumbledore.

"-so they'll know what they're walking into. It's not our fault if they get themselves banged up."

"Really, Severus, you can be the most callous -"

Amelia Cackle cut off Minerva's spluttering by reminding them of the sword that Hilda had been waving. "Where did it come from?"

Albus's eyes began to twinkle. "Ah yes. The sword."

Minerva gasped. "It's not -?"

Severus groaned and slid down the nearest wall. "Merlin save me from idiot Muggles and Gryffindors."

Constance Hardbroom straightened her hat and glared at her parasol. It obediently turned into a broomstick. "What are we waiting for?" she asked briskly. "I suggest that we go - "

"Constance, we can't. The Statute of Secrecy, remember? Put the broomstick away. We'll have to find some other way to travel." Amelia looked rather unhappy at the thought.

Her deputy sniffed. "My dear Miss Cackle, have you not realised? This is Halloween. Quite possibly the one night of the Muggle year where one can go abroad appropriately garbed. Now, I don't know about you lot, but I am going flying to find the other two!" And with that she mounted her broomstick and smoothly vanished into the darkening October sky, much to the dismay of the others.

Mary-Lou blinked and pinched her hand hard. This was all a dream, it had to be, and if she just pinched hard enough she'd wake up back in her little college bedroom. However, she forgot about dreams and pinching when, with exclamations, everyone else followed Constance's example, leaving the one and only Mary-Lou permanently silenced.
Author:  di [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Never mind, Mary-Lou. It will do you good to actually think before you go headlong in to trying to put people right about their actions. Mind you, I wouldn't think that even the Dark Lord would stand much of a chance if he comes face to face with Mary-Lou!!! :lol:
Thanks, Lisa. This is just wonderful!
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:43 am ]
Post subject: 
It's almost enough to make you pity Voldemort. . . .
Thank you Lisa, this is great
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:58 am ]
Post subject: 
He doesn't really stand a chance, does he? :lol:


Thanks Lisa
Author:  MaryR [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The Abbess and Bill, defenceless? Never!

Not in a month of Sundays!! :lol:

Thanks, Lisa.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 3:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
di wrote:
Mind you, I wouldn't think that even the Dark Lord would stand much of a chance if he comes face to face with Mary-Lou!!! :lol:
Thanks, Lisa. This is just wonderful!


Giggles at the thought :lol:
Author:  moiser30 [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
They left Mary-lou on her own, I wonder what would happen if Mary-lou ever met the dark lord :lol: she'll probably give him advice.
Author:  Liane [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yay! It's back. Thanks Lisa.

*scatters bunny food*
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilda and Nell defenceless???!!!! even without the Gryffindor Sword they would be a force to be recogned with.

Quote:
Severus groaned and slid down the nearest wall. "Merlin save me from idiot Muggles and Gryffindors."


Severus you may need saving from Hilda and Nell, but the Dark Lord may well have a fright at least first.
Author:  Abi [ Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: Yay, more of this! Loved Severus' treatment of Mary-Lou!
Author:  Tara [ Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Agree that Voldemort doesn't stand a chance against Hilda and Nell, and M-L would finish him off completely. Wonders idly if he'll end up with a swingeing punishment or sobbing with remorse after a 'behind-closed-doors' interview ...
Author:  Lisa_T [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re:
moiser30 wrote:
They left Mary-lou on her own, I wonder what would happen if Mary-lou ever met the dark lord :lol: she'll probably give him advice.


Like this, you mean?

*

The Dark Lord was in a Bad Mood. Dumbles and Min had escaped him, as had the brolly woman and her dumpy little friend. Even Severus had disappeared, and Voldemort ground his teeth at the thought.

If he has deserted me, he will pay! he thought to himself as he stalked towards the last known location of his prey. He was brought up short by the sight of a pretty girl with frantic blue eyes and curls. A smile crossed his face and he went to her.

"What happened to you, little girl?" he purred silkily.

The popping eyes told their own tale, and Voldemort waved a hand and broke both the gagging and silencing spells.

Mary-Lou took a series of deep breaths and tried to calm down. She smiled at the nice-but-odd-looking-gentleman. "I say, thanks. That was a mean trick they played, wasn't it? But I'm going to find out how they did it and then they'll be sorry!" Her blue eyes narrowed.

Voldemort looked at her with interest. "Sorry?" he repeated. "What will you do to them?" You're only a Muggle, he thought contemptuously.

Mary-Lou smiled very, very slowly, and the Dark Lord shivered. In that moment she looked unaccountably like Bella, but her eyes lacked the madness that had clouded Bellatrix's ever since Azkaban. In fact, those blue eyes were far too sharp.

"Who are you anyway?" Mary-Lou asked cautiously. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you going to a Halloween party?"

"You ... could ... say that," the Dark Lord purred. "I have ... plans ... for this evening. Plans for revenge." He paused, and his red eyes fixed themselves on Mary-Lou's face. "Would you like to join me?"

"What kind of plans?" Mary-Lou asked suspiciously.

"Plans to r-u-u-ule the world!" the Dark Lord declared, throwing his arms wide in one of the theatrical gestures he so loved.

Mary-Lou eyed him critically. "Well, you won't do it that way," she advised. "Waving your arms around and howling. Gets no-one anywhere. You need to be strong! Show them that you're not a spineless jellyfish."

The Dark Lord gawped at her, his arms still flung wide like a scarecrow.

Mary-Lou shook her head. "You see? This is what I mean," she went on, sounding vexed. "People get so carried away by their own rhetoric and they forget to stick to brass tacks. Just think what you could be doing if you weren't flapping your arms about like that!"

Voldemort looked at one arm and then the other before snapping them back to his side with a glare that would have reduced his Death Eaters to snivelling terror. Mary-Lou, however, was unmoved.

"That's it!" she approved. "Work on that glare. Does the job every time. Did you see my headmistress there? One steely look from those eyes of hers - especially when she's normally such a softy - reduces even the hardiest of Middles of a puddle of goo."

"Goo?" repeated the Dark Lord stupidly.

"Goo. Why, they practically had to be carried back to their common rooms, but of course you couldn't show them you were sorry for them. No. You told them to buck up and stiffen their spines and get on with it."

"And another thing," said Mary-Lou, warming to her theme, "the red eyes don't help. They're icky. They make you look nasty. Softly, softly, remember? That old man, with the long beard - now he'd be a good baddie. Or even my esteemed headmistress, with her gentleness. Think how much trouble she could cause before anyone even realised. It's like Verity - that's my sister by marriage, you know-"

"Verity," mumbled the Dark Lord.

"The very same. Anyway, when we were at school she got away with things the rest of us couldn't even dream of!" Mary-Lou sounded suitably shocked, despite her own not inconsiderable talents in that direction. "D'you know why?"

"Er, no?"

"It was because she looks like a delicate little fairy, Verity does. Well, she doesn't at the minute," Verity's sister by marriage added prosaically, "but being pregnant tends to do that to you. You don't need to worry about that, though."

The Dark Lord turned an odd shade of blue.

"But when we were in school, people didn't take her seriously. Between being tiny and fairy-like and dreamy and having a soft silvery voice .... she had to really try to get in trouble. Except with Matey, of course, but being tiny and fairy-like and so on didn't cut any ice with her. She just saw the unmade bed." Mary-Lou gave him a severe look. "Did you remember to hump your mattress this morning?"

"Hump it?" squeaked the Dark Lord, torn between fascination and terror. More than ever he was becoming convinced that Mary-Lou was the recruit he'd always wanted.

"It's very important," Mary-Lou went on serenely. "Promotes airflow and all that."

Voldemort's eyes popped. Mary-Lou frowned and tutted. "We're going to have to do something about your appearance," she scolded. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's your duty to look as nice as you can? Think how horrid it must be for everyone to look at - well, to look at you! You look half dead!"

"Er -" began Voldemort.

Mary-Lou put her head on one side. "Let's see," she mused. "Powder. Men wore it in the eighteenth century. I can't why they shouldn't now, and you could do with a little colour. We'll get you proper clothes. Harrod's should do the trick. And......" A beatific smile crossed her face. "A wig. Baldness is so ageing for a man. A nice brown curly wig. Yes," nodded Mary-Lou in satisfaction, "that would be the very thing. What do you think?"

A resounding thump as an unconscious Dark hit the ground was her only reply.
Author:  di [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
How lovely to see this back. I rather think The Dark Lord has met his match in Mary-Lou. She'll confuse him even without a wand!
Thanks, Lisa_T, looking forward to their trip to Harrods!!
Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Oh so JKR didn't need Harry after all! She could have just stolen Mary Lou. :lol:


Great to see you're continuing this, Lisa.
Author:  JB [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
This left me feeling sorry for Voldemort. He doesn't know what he's up against.
Author:  Kacca [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
This is just wonderful ... I've been giggling madly the whole way through.
Author:  Liz K [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
I've just read this the whole way through since it's a couple of years since I last read it; absolutely wonderful.
Author:  ammonite [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Liane [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Fantastic! I never thought I'd say this but, poor Voldemort!
Thanks Lisa.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Great to see more of this :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Brilliant!
Author:  sealpuppy [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Lovely! Just found this and giggling like mad. Also looking forward to Mary-Lou meeting the infamous owner of Harrods and giving him the CS treatment. :D
Author:  Abi [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
:lol: :lol: :lol: Poor Voldemort! Love the idea of his makeover, though. And him humping his mattress.....
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
You seem to be the only one who got that one, Abi!
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
This is hilarious, Lisa! Am now having wild ideas of Mary-Lou setting herself up as a sort of Villain's Advisory service :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 2:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
What a wonderful idea for careers interview drabble! You know, the kind Miss A supposedly gives to departing sixth formers. You should write it, Nightwing.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Don't tempt me! I should at least finish one of my current drabbles before starting any more! *nudges plotbunny out of way with foot*
Author:  Liane [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 8:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
*nudges PB back again*
Do it, do it, do it!
:lol:
Author:  Joanne [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 11:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Abi wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: Poor Voldemort! Love the idea of his makeover, though. And him humping his mattress.....


I got that one! Just didn't like to mention it :oops:

This is great, hadn't seen it before. Am looking forward to it continuing, please :)
Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Joanne wrote:
Abi wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: Poor Voldemort! Love the idea of his makeover, though. And him humping his mattress.....


I got that one! Just didn't like to mention it :oops:

This is great, hadn't seen it before. Am looking forward to it continuing, please :)



I'm glad to hear it. I was slightly ... disturbed.... by the general non-reaction. Then again, I'm still influenced by the fact that my heaviest posting period was during the board's infamous 'blue' period when our collective minds lived in the gutter with only occasional forays above ground. :D
Author:  shesings [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Echoing all the praise!! :D
Author:  Cath V-P [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Ahh, this is very refreshing on a humid and hot evening! One almost pities Voldemort... talk about the 'power that he knows not!" A makeover, career advice and an injunction to hump his mattress - he probaly needs a nice little holiday to settle his nerves!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Just found this and it's brilliant! :lol: Can we have some more soon please? I want to know what Hilda & co. are up to!
Author:  jmc [ Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Just read this through from that start and it's completely insane but totally brilliant. Just love it. Mary-Lou and Voldemort together is an inspired pairing. I shudder to think what they could do together.
Author:  Sarah_G-G [ Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
This is brilliant! :lol: I went through a phase of not venturing into this forum much (it moved too quickly for me when I hadn't much internet time) so I think I missed this when you first started posting but... yay at the combination! You know what's odd? I was thinking about The Worst Witch a week or two ago, and went looking for clips on youtube, and now there's a drabble to read! And I love the fact that all the witches and wizards put together are no match for the CS crew! :D Spined jellyfish unite!
Author:  Nicci [ Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Have just read this from the start and I LOVE it!

So many lines have had me giggling out loud. I haven't felt this sorry for Voldemort since I read The Naked Quidittch Match.

I particularly love OOAO's personal outrage that Verity managed to get away with so many things!!! Pot black kettle calling?
Author:  sealpuppy [ Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
sealpuppy wrote:
Lovely! Just found this and giggling like mad. Also looking forward to Mary-Lou meeting the infamous owner of Harrods and giving him the CS treatment. :D

Oh yes, me too. :D
Author:  Carolyn P [ Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A Conferencing We Will Go!
Oh I got the humping the mattress!

ML and Voldey make a great team, a bit like Laurel and Hardy!
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