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The Changing of the Guard Moved to the SDL
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=7783
Author:  Elle [ Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  The Changing of the Guard Moved to the SDL
This is a little idea which popped into my head this morning. I have been mulling it over all day and decided to post what I have written so far. I have not given up on Marjorie, but I need to let some of the madness out somewhere.

Two meetings were taking place on the Gornetz Platz. One in the Headmistress study at the Chalet School, and the other in Jack Maynard's study at Freudesheim. Both these meetings were to have unforseen and far reaching consequences for all on the Platz.

"But what can we do?" Nancy Wilmot asked her colleagues despairingly.

The Deputy Head, Kathie Ferrars, drummed her fingers on the desk, "You say you can't find the records anywhere?"

"Nowhere. Yet I know they exist. I've seen them!"

"When?" asked Sharlie Andrews.

"Before I became Head," replied Nancy, "When we thought she was turning 60 and were planning on throwing that party for her. The records said she was only 58, so obviously we put it off, but that was 15 years ago."

Kathie let out a low whistle, "But that would make her 73! Surely old enough to retire her?"

"If only I could find proof of her age!" wailed Nancy, not sounding at all like a Headmistress.

"She looks good for 73," mused Sharlie.

"Of course she does!" replied Nancy, "Since Jem and Jack shut the San and re-opened it as a plastic surgery clinic, she has been getting regular treatment. We will never convince anyone that she is pushing 80!"

"Speaking of Jack, have you managed to solve that little problem yet?" asked Kathie delicately.

"No," said Nancy, the wail returning to her voice. "He keeps coming back for my 'final answer'. I don't know how many times I have told him 'no' but he keeps insisting on giving me time to think it over."

"Who'd of thought it," said Sharlie, "Joey dying last year and Jack falling head over heels for you and proposing every week."

"To get back to the main problem," said Kathie, trying, and failing, to suppress a grin, "Have you tried asking Nell Wilson for help?"

"I saw her yesterday," said Nancy gloomily.

"And?"

"She threw an empty gin bottle at me at the mere mention of her name and then attempted to run me over with her wheelchair."

Suddenly all the women froze.

"Listen!" hissed Sharlie.

They heard the gate to Freudesheim open and close. There was a brief moment of silence, then sharp tap of shoes and the rustle of starch was heard in the corridor.

"Shit," said Nancy Wilmot, Headmistress of the Chalet School as the door began to open.
Author:  Abi [ Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
:lol: :lol: :lol: Yay!

*sits back in anticipation of the madness to come*
Author:  jmc [ Sat May 01, 2010 2:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
This looks like fun! Joey dead, Jack coming on to Nancy, Bill and gin again. Let the insanity continue. Thanks Elle.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sat May 01, 2010 4:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
Ahh, a little madness to uplift my day! One assumes that Bill's gin bottle was empty - it would be unlike her to waste anything! :D
Author:  Lesley [ Sat May 01, 2010 4:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
Assume that's Matey? Love the ideas - poor Nancy! :lol:
Author:  Liz K [ Sat May 01, 2010 7:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

wow, can't wait for more, please, thank you.
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat May 01, 2010 8:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
Hurrah! another dose of Elle's madness :D
Author:  Mona [ Sat May 01, 2010 8:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
This looks promising! Looking forward to more soon. :D :D
Author:  cal562301 [ Sat May 01, 2010 10:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
Bring on more madness! Looking forward to more of this, it's fun!
Author:  La Petite Em [ Sat May 01, 2010 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
I am indeed intrigued Elle! Nell and her gin :) But who are they talking about?
Author:  Mattea1 [ Sat May 01, 2010 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
Elle, after the week I've had at work I was seeking something mad to lose myself in and you've provided it. Thanks and bring on the fun :roll: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat May 01, 2010 6:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
Yay for more madness! I think I've guessed who they're talking about - I hope that I'm right! Thankyou.
Author:  Elle [ Sat May 01, 2010 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard
The stern figure of Matron was silhouetted briefly in the door way, her angels wings headdress casting a sinister shadow onto the wall above Nancy's head. She reached out a hand and switched on the light. "What are you all doing here in the dark?" she demanded.

"Just discussing school business," said Nancy, trying to sound like the Headmistress of the Chalet School and not a naughty Middle caught out in some nefarious deed.

Matron raised her eyebrows, "You do realise it is 22.15 don't you? You should all be in bed, especially you Sharlie, you have been looking peaky lately."

"That is because you have confiscated my cigarettes," muttered Sharlie rebelliously.

"Off to bed, all of you," was Matron's only reply.

The three women stood up and made their way to the door, Kathie silently thanking God that she had put the whiskey in the safe. They didn't want Matron confiscating that too.

"Dr Jem was at Freudesheim," said Matron as they entered the corridor, "He gave me this for you Nancy." And she handed over a piece of paper. "I will speak to Karen and she will make sure you stick to this one."

Nancy stared down at the diet sheet Matron had handed her. "Matron," she said firmly, "I do not need to diet. I am the perfect weight for my height and happy the way I am."

"Nonsense," said Matron crisply. "Dr Jack does not wish to marry a plump woman. Joey was beautifully slim if you remember."

"Joey was anorexic for the last twenty years!" muttered Sharlie.

"Nonsense!" said Matron again as she ushered them to the stairs and watched them begin to ascend.

"73?" Kathie asked softly as soon as she was sure they were out of earshot.

"14 stone is not fat! And I am not marrying Jack Maynard!"

"Can't we just sack her?" asked Sharlie.

"I've tried," said Nancy gloomily, "but she won't have it. And anyway, even if we sack her, what about Jack and Jem?"

"We could make this school even greater if it wasn't for those three," sighed Kathie as she opened her bedroom door.

"The Old Guard," said Sharlie.

"I think the time has come for the Changing of the Guard," said Nancy. "We will begin tomorrow."
Author:  Lesley [ Sat May 01, 2010 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Go Nancy! :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat May 01, 2010 7:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
:lol: I wish her every luck against that team!
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat May 01, 2010 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Go Nancy Go, we will back you.
Author:  cal562301 [ Sat May 01, 2010 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Go for it, Nancy!
Author:  Abi [ Sat May 01, 2010 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Excellent!

*cheers Nancy on*
Author:  moiser30 [ Sat May 01, 2010 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Excellent!

I'm enjoying this.
Author:  shesings [ Sun May 02, 2010 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Fabulous stuff! :D :D :D :D :D :D
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun May 02, 2010 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
This is fabulous. I can't wait to see how they do it
Author:  Mattea1 [ Sun May 02, 2010 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
Terrific stuff :D Go for it, Nancy :D :D :D
Author:  Elle [ Sun May 02, 2010 7:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 1st May
The three women met in Nancy's study before breakfast. They knew that at that time Matron would be prowling the dormitories making sure that the girls were dusting their cubicles and making their beds with the proper hospital corners. She would also be searching for contraband.

"We need of list of changes to make," said Nancy, "And then, if we introduce them slowly, when Matron, Jem and Jack are otherwise occupied, then we can oust them by degrees!"

Kathie picked up a pen and paper and prepared to write.

"Duvets!" said Sharlie, "And modern mattresses!"

"Students above Inter V can wear make up if they are discreet," said Nancy.

"Change the uniform from those appalling dresses. What Hilda was thinking of I don't know," added Kathie.

"Bacon and eggs for breakfast. I can say I am doing the Atkins Diet," said Nancy.

"Hot baths for anyone who wants them," said Sharlie as Kathie scribbled furiously.

"With bubble bath!"

"Bring the curriculum more up to date."

"Ban Castor oil!"

"Block the gate between the school and Freudsheim."

The ideas were coming thick and fast when the bell sounded for breakfast.

"Joy," said Nancy, "Bread twists and milky coffee here we come."

Kathie hurriedly scribbled "Find a tea bag supplier" onto the list. They left the study and walked into the Saal for Mitagessen where the school was assembled. The sight that met their eyes brought them to a complete standstill.
Author:  cal562301 [ Sun May 02, 2010 8:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Loving this, elle, thanks. But I would like to know what met their eyes to bring them to a complete standstill. Please come back soon and tell us!
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun May 02, 2010 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Thanks hope they can make the changes. Wonder if Matey and Jack would make a couple?
Author:  Lesley [ Sun May 02, 2010 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Love the suggestions!


Thanks Elle
Author:  Mattea1 [ Sun May 02, 2010 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Backing Nancy all the way with the changes :lol: :lol: :lol:


Thanks Elle
Author:  Abi [ Sun May 02, 2010 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Up with teabags! Can't wait to see what the sight that meets their eyes is, though...

Thanks, Elle. :D
Author:  JB [ Mon May 03, 2010 9:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Just what I needed, Elle - but did you forget something at the end?
Author:  jmc [ Mon May 03, 2010 9:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Love the list of ideas and really hoping that they succeed. Not even going to try and guess what is going on as I'm sure I will be completely wrong. Thanks Elle
Author:  Liz K [ Mon May 03, 2010 9:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
This is excellent, can't wait for more please, especially the blocking of the gate between the school and Freudesheim.
Author:  shazwales [ Mon May 03, 2010 10:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Brilliant :D :D :D
Author:  sealpuppy [ Mon May 03, 2010 12:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Dying to read the next instalment!
Author:  Lyanne [ Mon May 03, 2010 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
I hope Kathie locked the list in the safe!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon May 03, 2010 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
Oooh, please come back soon! They all have very good ideas, but I want to know what's happened!

Thankyou :D
Author:  Elle [ Mon May 03, 2010 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 2nd May
If anyone has any suggestions for the list I am happy to add them!


The silence in the hall was unbearable. Their eyes took in the started faces of the girls, who were looking from Nancy to the staff table, and back again. Nancy dragged here eyes to the table. It was covered in red roses. Stood, where she normally sat, was Jack Maynard. A rose clasped between his teeth. He pulled it out and threw it, with a flourish, at Nancy's feet. He opened his mouth and began to sing,

"You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

I love you baby and if it's quite all right
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say
Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray!"

Jack leapt from the table (no mean feat for a man of his age) and, on his knees, slid across the floor until he reached Nancy.

"Nancy Wilmot, I love you! Will you consent to be my wife?" And with another flourish he whipped a ring out of his pocket and presented it to Nancy.

Kathie peered closely at it, "That was Joey's ring!" she exclaimed.

"Don't do it Miss Wilmot!" cried a voice which Nancy recognised as one of the Elliot twins from Lower IVB.

There was a gurgle as Matron stepped forwards and shoved a dose of castor oil down the offending girls throat.

Taking Nancy's stunned silence for consent, Jack jumped up and jammed the ring onto her finger. He planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek at the same time as Nancy's right knee connected with his groin.

As Jack collapsed groaning onto the floor the door of the Saal flew open and Jem Russell walked in. A piece of paper was in his hand.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon May 03, 2010 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
Awww poor Jack! Now what madness is Jem going to bring to it all I wonder?

Thanks for the update :D
Author:  cal562301 [ Mon May 03, 2010 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
This is so much fun! Thanks, Elle.
Author:  Abi [ Mon May 03, 2010 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
He proposed with Joey's ring?? :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol:
Author:  Lesley [ Mon May 03, 2010 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
Well done Nancy - that'll cool his ardour! :lol:
Author:  jmc [ Tue May 04, 2010 9:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
Jack deserves anything that Nancy gives him! Hope she can do something nasty to Jem as well. I don't trust him either. :lol: :lol:

Thanks Elle.
Author:  JS [ Tue May 04, 2010 9:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
Just found this and ... wow. I'm speechless :D

(but looking forward to more)
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Tue May 04, 2010 11:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
Brilliant! Just what I needed after such a miserable Bank Holiday weekend!
Author:  Cumbrian Rachel [ Tue May 04, 2010 11:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
This is wonderful! I can't wait to find out what happens next...
Author:  Elle [ Tue May 04, 2010 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
"What is this?" yelled Jem, waving the piece of paper wildly. "How dare you think you are going to change this school! My wife started this school! And it will stay they way she wanted it to be!"

"Ex-wife," said Kathie.

"What are you talking about?" spluttered Jem.

"Oh come off it," said Kathie, "We all know Madge left you for a surfer boy half her age and is living it up in New Zealand, and not keeping the home fires burning in Australia as you claim."

"You lie!" shouted Jem. He seized a bread twist and waved it threateningly in Kathie's face.

"And I have had a letter from her telling me to do what I like with the school," added Nancy, "And also advising me, in the interests of humanity, to push you over the nearest cliff. It is only through extreme self restraint that I have not done so yet."

Jem went white. "You'll pay for this!" he hissed venomously. "You, Kathie, Sharlie and all you laughing girls. You will pay! Come on Jack, Matron, we need to make plans!" And he stormed from the room, closely followed by Matron and Jack, who was finding it difficult to stand up right, although he did manage to blow a kiss in Nancy's direction.

Nancy surveyed the room thoughtfully, "Any of you girls good at carpentry?" she asked.

One of the Elliot twins raised their hand, "I am, Kevin, my brother," she coughed slightly over this word, "has been teaching me."

"Excellent," said Nancy, "I have a job for you!"

"Do you want me to nail up the doors of Freudesheim with them all inside?" asked the girl, and angelic look on her face.

"Errr, not this time," said Nancy, "Just the gate between the school and Freudesheim."

"No problem," she said, "Can my twins help me?"

"They certainly may," said Nancy, a twinkle in her eye once more.

The Elliot twin blushed, and with her sisters, went off to raid Gaudenz III's carpentry set.
Author:  Lesley [ Tue May 04, 2010 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Oh aren't there about a thousand Eliott twins? One of whom is male (Kevin) :lol:


Thanks Elle - lovley to think of Madge with a surfer boy!
Author:  Abi [ Tue May 04, 2010 10:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Also thought Madge and the surfer boy was great! :lol: :lol:
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed May 05, 2010 9:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Love the idea of Madge with a surfer boy. Thanks Elle
Author:  jmc [ Wed May 05, 2010 10:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Good on Madge for giving Jem the heave-ho. Surfer boy - good for her. I remember reading about the Elliot twins in the archives somewhere but can't remember which drabble it was in.

Thanks Elle :lol:
Author:  Mona [ Wed May 05, 2010 12:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Thanks! This continues to amuse me immensely :D
Author:  JS [ Wed May 05, 2010 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Confused about the Elliot twins, but enjoying it anyway :)
Author:  marni [ Wed May 05, 2010 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
really enjoying this - thanks
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed May 05, 2010 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 3rd May
Elle wrote:
"You lie!" shouted Jem. He seized a bread twist and waved it threateningly in Kathie's face.


Elle, you are not good for my dignity!
Author:  Miss Di [ Thu May 06, 2010 2:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Elle you are brilliant. As is this story!
Author:  Millie [ Thu May 06, 2010 10:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
Loving this Elle, thank you.
Author:  Elle [ Thu May 13, 2010 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 4th May
I have no idea why the Elliot twins decided to re-appear. For confused people they originally turned up in my drabble Killing Joey which is in the archives.

Back in her office Nancy poured a cup of coffee for herself and Kathie. The sound of hammering and sawing drifted in through the window.

"Stage One is underway," said Nancy, adding some 'brown milk' to her tea.

Kathie reached for the whiskey and added it to her own cup. "What do you think Jem will do? He sounded pretty cross."

Nancy shrugged her shoulders, "What can he do? I managed to contact the MD of PG Tips today and he has promised to supply us with tea. I don't see how Jem can interfere with that. As we speak the Elliot twins are not only barricading the gate between the school and Freudsheim, but they are also tipping Matey's entire stock of castor oil down the drain. Another Elliot twin with a flair for design is planning the new uniform, she is going for a simple skirt, blouse and blazer. The entirety of the senior school have gone to Unterseen to stock up on make up accompanied by Sharlie who is on a mission to buy something called a 'bath bomb'. And I have instructed Gaudenz to keep the boilers on permanently so we can all have hot baths any time we like. Tell me, how can Jem Russell prevent all that?"

"I don't see that he can," said Kathie thoughtfully as she accidentally swigged from the whiskey rather than her cup of coffee.

However at Freudsheim Jem was outlining the first stage of his evil plan.
Author:  PaulineS [ Thu May 13, 2010 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
Love the idea of a bath Bomb. They are nice and can be relaxing. Or are they going to find a new use for them on water canons?
Author:  Abi [ Thu May 13, 2010 10:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
I feel that he would do better to dig a very big hole and hide himself in it.

Glad to see this back, Elle. :D
Author:  Lesley [ Thu May 13, 2010 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
Sounds like the changes are all needed - so what is Jem planning?


Thanks Elle - love it. :lol:
Author:  shazwales [ Fri May 14, 2010 6:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
Thanks Elle,wondering which one of the gruesome threesome you're going to bump off first? :)
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri May 14, 2010 10:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
I'm rather intrigued by Jem's evil plan! Please do tell us more soon :D
Author:  brie [ Fri May 14, 2010 12:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
This is hilarious. Thanks Elle
Author:  cal562301 [ Fri May 14, 2010 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
This is great fun. Looking forward to more. Thanks Elle.
Author:  Mona [ Fri May 14, 2010 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
How can Jem upset any of that?

Thank you!
Author:  jmc [ Sat May 15, 2010 7:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
Love the progress that they are making and looking forward to seeing how Jem tries to stop it.
Author:  JS [ Sat May 15, 2010 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
Like the idea of brown milk (if it's what I think it is)

Thanks Elle.
Author:  Elle [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 13th May
JS wrote:
Like the idea of brown milk (if it's what I think it is)



When my brother was a child he genuinely thought that whiskey was a special type of milk just for Grandma's tea as it was always referred to as 'brown milk'.

Nancy stared suspiciously at the package offered to her by Kathie. She could smell it from the other side of her desk. "So this is a bath bomb?" she asked.

"You just drop it in the bath, and it fizzes like sherbet," explained Kathie.

"Is it safe?"

"Yes, and this one is especially for you."

"Why?"

"Sharlie and I decided you could have the first ceremonious hot bath! She is running it now."

Nancy looked thoughtful, "Where are Matron, Jem and Jack?"

"I'm not sure admitted," Kathie. "The Elliot twins have built a fine barricade between here and Freudshiem so they only way the can get into the school will be via the front drive which is currently being guarded by two of the prefects, so I think we are safe."

"Bath's ready!" called a voice. The two women walked towards the Special Headmistresses Bathroom and opened the door. They looked at the full bath. "I always assumed there would be steam," said Nancy as the door slammed behind them.
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
I don't trust that!
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Wondering why there is no steam.
Author:  Abi [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Hmmm, maybe she should test the water first.... love the idea of a ceremonial first hot bath, though!
Author:  jmc [ Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Think Nancy could be in for some sort of shock but have no idea as to what it could be.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Lesley wrote:
I don't trust that!


Neither do I, though love the update, thanks
Author:  cal562301 [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
This is great fun, thanks!
Author:  Tan [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Loving this - and glad to see the Elliot "twins" back!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Been fiddling with the pipes Jem? :lol: Thanks for the update!
Author:  Elle [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
"And why?" said the evil voice of Jem Russell, "Why would you ever think there would be steam in a cold bath? Mwahahahaha!"

Nancy and Kathie's horrified eyes took in the site of Gaudenz slumped in a corner, with Sharlie collapsed next to him.

"What have you done to them?" asked Kathie bravely.

"I have merely dosed them," said Jem in between psychotic cackles. "Now, get in the bath," he growled.

"What?" said Nancy in shock.

"Get in the bath!"

"I don't think I want to," murmured Kathie. She had noticed the chunks of ice floating in the water.

Suddenly there was a terrific hammering on the door. "Miss Wilmot! Miss Ferrars!" called a voice, "We need your help!"

There was groan from Sharlie.

"Ignore them!" cried Jem, "And get in the bath!"

"Miss Wilmot!" called the voice, "I think Matron has gone mad!" There was a brief scuffle outside the door, and whispering could be heard, "Sorry Miss Wilmot, my twins said to tell you that Matron had gone madder!"

"Why do you want us to get in the bath?" asked Kathie as she exchanged worried looks with Nancy.

"To remind you of the joys of cold baths!"

Nancy and Kathie exchanged looks again, Kathie raised her eyebrows at Nancy who grinned and nodded.

"Very well," said Nancy, and she began to undo her twinset.

"What are you doing?" asked Jem suspiciously.

"Taking my clothes off," replied Nancy innocently.

"Why? Why are you doing that?" asked Jem as he backed slowly away.

"Well I am not getting in fully dressed, and neither is Kathie," said Nancy in the same innocent tone of voice. Jem dragged his eyes away from Nancy's splendid bosom to see Kathie removing her skirt.

"No! No! No!" cried Jem, "You must keep you clothes on!" He was so horrified by the sight of Kathie and Nancy stripping down to their underwear that he failed to notice Sharlie being sick on his feet.

"What's the matter Jem?" asked Kathie as she seductively removed her bra. But there was no reply. Jem had fainted.

Sharlie looked up at Nancy and Kathie. "What on earth are you doing?" she asked in bewilderment.

"I remembered Madge saying Jem was terrified of the naked female form, we were just taking advantage of that," smiled Kathie bending down and picking up her bra.

Gaudenz opened his eyes, he surveyed the scene before him, "Am I in heaven?" he asked.
Author:  Abi [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 4:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 16th June
Elle wrote:
Gaudenz opened his eyes, he surveyed the scene before him, "Am I in heaven?" he asked.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

I was going to quote other bits, but that made me laugh so much it didn't seem necessary!
Author:  Lesley [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 5:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
So if Jem was terrified of the naked human form it begs the question as to just who gfathered the Russell brood? :lol:
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Suggest they put Jem in the cold bath with the ice and remove his clothes and put them in another room.
Thanks for the update.
Author:  Myth Tree [ Sat Jun 26, 2010 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
This is brilliant. Can't wait to read what has happened to Matey.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 10:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
An excellent ending to a hilarious update. Thankyou!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
:lol: That's fantastic, thanks. Really love the last line and Jem being scared of the naked female form :lol:
Author:  sealpuppy [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Oh dear, Jem must have needed pitch dark to function. Poor Madge! Love Sharlie being sick on his feet! :D :D :D
Author:  jmc [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Thanks Elle. Great defense against Jem. Hope they now do something suitable nasty to him in retaliation.
Author:  Smile :) [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Just read this from the start, always love your mad stories thanks Elle.
Author:  shazwales [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Thanks Elle :D :D :D
Author:  Sandra [ Sun Aug 15, 2010 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Is there any more of this? I can think of so many things that they should do to wind up Matey and Jem. It's just a shame that there is no Joey so that they can't torture her as well.
Author:  Clare [ Fri Aug 27, 2010 11:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
I've just read this - brilliant! More please Elle, you must need a distraction from getting ready to go back to work :wink:
Author:  Elle [ Sat Sep 18, 2010 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 26th June
Um, please don't read if you have a vivid imagination, as some of the images may stick in brain and slowly fry it.


Gaudenz dragged Jem's prone body from the bathroom and stashed it in a handy stock cupboard whilst the women retreated to discuss what they should do next.

In the cupboard Jem slowly came too, his head throbbing with images from what he had seen, but as the images passed before his eyes they were replaced with ones from earlier in his life...

...50 years earlier...

It was his wedding night. Peering through the crack in the door from where he stood in the bathroom he could see Madge, in her thick cotton nightie, which was, as he had asked, buttoned up to the neck. Summoning up his courage he walked into the room, Madge smiled in happy anticipation. Jem looked down at her. "Listen to me Madge," he said firmly, "this is what is going to happen. I am going to return to the bathroom and pleasure myself until I have achieved a sufficient hardness to perform. You will raise you nightie to your waist and wait. I will return to the room, enter you, thrust five times before achieving ejaculation. I will then withdraw, return to the bathroom and clean up. You will lower your nightie. In a months time you will inform me if you are pregnant or not. If not, we will perform the act of procreation once again. In 9 months time after a successful act of procreation we will have son."...

...25 years earlier...

"Madge," said Jem walking into his wife's pretty drawing room, ignoring the fact that there was a meeting of the WI going on in there. "I can no longer perform whilst looking at your body. In future, you will perform the act of procreation on top. There will be a sheet between us so I do not have to see any naked flesh." He turned and walked out of the room, leaving the WI stunned to a woman, Madge shrugged.

...10 years ago...

"You've been paying Rosa to perform the act of procreation with me all this time?" bellowed Jem in fury. An unfortunate incident with the sheet had revealed this fact to the hitherto unsuspecting Jem.

Madge shrugged, "I don't want any more babies, and you refuse to use contraception, what was I supposed to do?"

...5 years ago...

A horrified Jem backed out of the room where he had discovered his wife performing the act of procreation in a very naked fashion with the young boy he had been paying to teach Kevin and Kester to surf. Jem fled Australia and moved to Switzerland to live with the recently widowed Jack.

...now...

Jem realised he was no match for the determined women of the Chalet School. When he was released from the cupboard he resolved to return to England, purchase a small, remote island and live as a solitary hermit until he died.
Author:  janetbrown23 [ Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Author:  PaulineS [ Sat Sep 18, 2010 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:devil: :devil: :devil: :D :D :D :devil: :devil: :devil:
Author:  Lesley [ Sat Sep 18, 2010 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
Best place for him! :shock:
Author:  sealpuppy [ Sat Sep 18, 2010 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:!: :!: :!: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Elle, that needs a 'Tena Ladies, please cross your legs' warning for ladies of a certain age!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:shock: :shock: :lol: :lol:
Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:shock: :shock:
*reeling round with a very fried brain*
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  shazwales [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:D :D :D :D :D
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 4:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:shock: Is there any brain bleach going spare?
Author:  Helen P [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Elle, this is marvellous! Just read from the beginning and really looking forward to more.
Author:  JB [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
I almost choked on my chocolate reading that. :shock:

Thanks Elle.
Author:  Abi [ Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
What on earth made me read that just before I sleep? :shock: :lol: :shock:
Author:  jmc [ Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
Thanks for the warning at the beginning. after reading that I made sure that there was no food or drink anywhere near me to spill on the computer. Did nearly choke though.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
:devil: :rofl: :devil: :rofl:
Author:  Nightwing [ Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
I read this yesterday and have been giggling at intervals ever since. if everyone thinks I have finally snapped it's all your fault, Elle!
Author:  Elle [ Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
Jack paced the kitchen, back and forth, as Matron sat chain smoking at the kitchen table. Occasionally she barked at Anna to bring her another coffee or jam tart. Anna had been banned from making lemon biscuits after Joey had choked to death on one.

"I must marry her Matron!" cried Jack.

"I agree," coughed Matron, "If you marry Nancy, she will have to quit teaching, then Kathie can become Head of the Chalet School, she will be much easier to control. Nancy has a mind of her own, which I don't like."

"She has more than just a mind," said Jack rapturously, "She also has an enormous pair of..."

"What's that?" cried Matron, spitting her cigarette across the kitchen. The cheeky face of an Elliot twin grinned through the open window and waved a letter.

"Dr. Jack?" asked the twin, "Miss Wilmott has sent you a message!"

Jack dived to the window, he grabbed the letter as the twin ran off. He ripped it open, sure that it contained a declaration of love. His happy face however began to look confused, "Matron," he asked, "What exactly is a restraining order?" He shook out a second piece of paper, "Oh look, there is one for you."

Neither noticed the in the corner, where the cigarette had landed amongst last weeks newspapers were now burning merrily. Anna slipped quietly out of the kitchen, taking her recipe for lemon biscuits with her.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
What was in those lemon biscuits to kill Joey off? Thanks, really enjoying this
Author:  JennieP [ Fri Sep 24, 2010 10:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
Tee hee...
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
Good for Anna - keep making those biscuits! :D
Author:  Abi [ Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 18th September
Elle wrote:
"Matron," he asked, "What exactly is a restraining order?"


:lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks Elle!
Author:  jmc [ Sat Sep 25, 2010 7:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
So is that going to be the end of Jack and Matey? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
:lol: Just :lol:
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
So insane! I love it. :lol:
Author:  Finn [ Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
*laughs*


*a lot*


Elle, you're fantastic! (in a totally non-soppy way)
Author:  Elle [ Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 23rd September
Ah yes, it is looking more and more likely that this is all going to end in violence and bloodshed. You would think I could manage something more creative, but no. Oh dear me.


Matron strode over to Jack and wrenched the paper from his hand and casually threw it over her shoulder. It landed in the flames, which were now licking their way up the kitchen units.

"She won't get away with this!" said Matron, "I will bring in reinforcements if need be. I didn't get rid of Joey to be thwarted by a woman who thinks chocolate is a valid diet food!"

"What do you mean?" asked Jack.

"She thinks chocolate makes a suitable breakfast!" bellowed Matron, and she moved towards the phone.

"No, I meant about Joey," said Jack, failing to notice that the curtains were now on fire.

"I killed Joey!" said Matron, "And got rid of Madge too!" She dialed a number.

"You killed Joey? Why? And what have you done to Madge?" asked Jack, backing away from Matron in horror.

"They were going to retire me!" said Matron, "Hello?" she spoke into the phone.

"And... Madge?" asked Jack, blinking to keep his eyes clear of the smoke.

"I always knew she would be trouble, so I arranged her marriage to Sir James to keep her out of my way," said Matron. She spoke into the phone again, "Tristan my darling? We are going to have to take control now, Freudesheim is burning, Jack knows all, give me five minutes to kill him and then meet me in Nancy's study. Everything is turning out exactly as I have foreseen."

Jack backed slowly towards the door, which was also burning. "Tristan? Tristan Denny? The music teacher? What has he to do with this?"

"Once you are all out of the way, Tristan and I will marry, and take full control of the Chalet School," said Matron. She rummaged through a burning drawer, and pulled out a knife, the blade was glowing red. She raised it over her head and advanced towards Jack, an evil grin etched across her face.
Author:  Joanne [ Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 29th September
:o :o :o :twisted:

Poor Jack didn't realise he had allied himself to an avenging ... whatever!

Thanks for a good laugh!
Author:  Abi [ Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 29th September
:lol: :lol: :lol: I am thoroughly enjoying the violence and bloodshed, Elle!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 29th September
:lol: Why change when this is so good? I think that you've stumbled across a rather creative pairing, as well! Thankyou!
Author:  Lesley [ Fri Oct 01, 2010 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 29th September
Violence and bloodshed is fine by me! :lol:


Thanks Elle
Author:  Elle [ Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 29th September
Suddenly the door burst open and Tristan Denny, the school's handsome music teacher burst into the burning room.

"Matron my darling," he cried, "Forsooth, the building is on fire. I must rescue you my little elf!" He rushed forwards and seized Matron around the waist.

Jack backed away from the distracted Matron.

"Come, my little pixie," grunted Mr Denny as he tried, and failed, to pick Matron up.

"Are you a man or a mouse?" demanded Matron as she gazed lovingly into his eyes.

"Gadzooks," exclaimed Mr Denny, "If you would but leave off wearing the concrete chastity belt and the cast iron corset then I would be able to clasp you to my manly chest and carry you away from this danger."

"Not until the wedding day!" said a scandalised Matron.

Jack seized his opportunity to slip out of the door and escape.

"By our lady!" said Mr Denny, leering soppily at the object of his affections, "I hope the day comes soon, egad, for I cannot take the chafing of the concrete much longer my little leprechaun." They embraced lovingly, teeth clashing, and tongues twisting wetly.

Suddenly Matron pulled away, "Hell! The house is on fire, and where is Jack?"

Jack however had managed to batter his way through the blocked up gate to the Chalet School, fought his way past several Elliot twins and finally reached Nancy's office. He banged on the door, whist looking over his shoulder in terror at the massed Elliot twins, all armed with hockey sticks who were approaching from both ends of the corridor. Kathie opened the door and Jack fell at her feet, "Sanctuary!" he gasped, "I need sanctuary, please!"

Kathie looked over he shoulder at Nancy, "What do you think?" she asked the person stood behind her.

"Oh let him in," said Joey Maynard. "I want a few words with him."

Jack screamed in horror.
Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
Quote:
"Gadzooks," exclaimed Mr Denny, "If you would but leave off wearing the concrete chastity belt and the cast iron corset then I would be able to clasp you to my manly chest and carry you away from this danger."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :devil: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Author:  Abi [ Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
I was going to quote the best bit, but then realised that I'd be quoting the whole post...... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank you Elle, that has done me much good!
Author:  shesings [ Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
I think that the end just scraped the biggest laugh for me, but it was a close run thing! Thankyou! :lol:
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Fri Oct 22, 2010 9:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
That has brightened my day considerably!
Author:  Lesley [ Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
Isn't Joey supposed to be dead? :lol:
Author:  sealpuppy [ Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard updated 29th September
Elle wrote:
They embraced lovingly, teeth clashing, and tongues twisting wetly.


Oh, dear God, what an image! Just caught up with this and now I need a drink, though I'm afraid that's going to stay with me for some time. :shock:
More please, the more violent the better! :D
Author:  jmc [ Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
Is Joey a zombie or something or was she somehow bought back to life at the san? Love it. Thanks Elle :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
"But... But... you're... you're..." spluttered Jack

"Dead?" asked Joey, "You were happy to think that, weren't you?"

Jack tried to back out of the door, but it was blocked by the Elliots.

"Where do you think you are going?" said Joey, "Push him in girls." There was a discreet cough, "Oh, and Kevin," added Joey.

Jack found himself pushed into the kitchen. He fell to the floor at Nancy's feet, she glared down at him.

"Matron... Jem... they told me you were dead, you chocked on a lemon biscuit, I banned Anna from making them as a result..."

"And you believed them, you didn't even ask to see my body!"

"They said it was too horrible to view..."

"And how long had I been 'dead' for before you started after Nancy? A week?"

"Longer!" cried Jack, "But she was so kind to me after your death, and I was transfixed by her enormous..." he tailed off guiltily.

"Her enormous what?" asked Joey sweetly.

"Her enormous Mills and Boon collection," said Jack. Nancy blushed.

"It's true," she muttered.

"She has all the Doctors and Nurses ones," said Jack eagerly.

"So you were courting Nancy for her enormous Mills and Boons collection?" said Joey sternly.

"Yes," replied Jack desperately, "Oh, and her enormous boo..." he stopped talking quickly, seeing the look on Nancy's face.

"What shall we do with him Nell?" asked Joey looking round. The 112 year old Miss Wilson wheeled herself forwards, "I vote we push him off a cliff," she rasped.

"Miss Wilmot! I can see Matron!" cried an Elliot twin, "She doesn't look happy!"
Author:  Minim [ Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
:lol: :lol: :lol: Just read the whole thing through :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
Thanks. Please Matron has been spotted, hope it is in time! :lol: :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 20th October
Elle wrote:
"Her enormous Mills and Boon collection," said Jack. Nancy blushed.

"It's true," she muttered.

"She has all the Doctors and Nurses ones," said Jack eagerly.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

A joy, as ever....
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
Yes, cliffs are good. :lol:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
:lol: I'd court someone for a book collection and all!
Author:  Emma A [ Mon Nov 01, 2010 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
*snork*

Thanks, Elle.
Author:  sealpuppy [ Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
*Meep* :D Love this, more soon please.
Author:  jmc [ Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
Hope someone has some sort of plan for Matey. The bloodier the better.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Nov 06, 2010 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
Elle this is a joy to read, thank you :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update 31st October
Matron was definitely the opposite of happy. In fact, one could go so far as to say she was rather upset. The fact that she was on fire probably didn't help. Trailing in her wake, like a demented Elizabethen fairy, was Mr Denny. "Prithee my love," he was saying plaintively, "Come away with me now, forsooth, thou must forget the Chalet School and live in wonderous bliss with me!" But for all the notice Matron took he might as well have been talking to the kitchen sink.

The 46 assembled Elliot twins blocked her way, but she brushed them aside as if they were feathers. All but one were knocked from the path. The remaining twin looked like the others, but with subtle differences. The 'Adam's Apple' being the most noticable.

"Out of my way!" bellowed Matron, raising her clenched fist.

"You shall not pass!" cried the twin, who was armed with a large stick.

"Move!" demanded Matron.

"I am the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Arnor! You shall not pass!" cried the twin, banging the stick hard on the floor.

"What on earth were Frieda, Simone and Marie getting up to in that Chalet, other than cloning?" muttered Joey. (plugging the original drabble containing the Elliot twins here for people who are confused!)

Matron paused for a moment, which was just long enough for the Elliot twin to clobber her around the head with the stick. Matron fell to the floor like a felled ox.

"Hurrah!" cheered everybody, apart from Mr Denny.
Author:  Minim [ Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update Nov 13th
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Kevin, wasn't it? Good for him.
Author:  Abi [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 12:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update Nov 13th
:lol: :lol: :lol: Ah, reading this always cheers me up!
Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update Nov 13th
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update Nov 13th
For some reason, the sheer madness of this always astounds me. You think I'd have learnt by now!
Author:  2nd Gen Fan [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update Nov 13th
Quote:
Matron was definitely the opposite of happy. In fact, one could go so far as to say she was rather upset. The fact that she was on fire probably didn't help.

Love this as an opening passage - my SLOC just read this over over my shoulder and walked away shaking his head!
Author:  Elle [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard update Nov 13th
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
For some reason, the sheer madness of this always astounds me. You think I'd have learnt by now!


You would have thought...


However Matron was not downed for long. She leapt up, seized the stick wielding Elliot and threw him (her?) over her shoulder, incidentally taking out Mr Denny. Matron charged at the door of the school, which was now only blocked by the frail, wheel chair bound Miss Wilson. An evil grin spread of Matron's face.

"Get out of my way Nell," growled Matron.

"No," quavered Miss Wilson, a gin bottle clutched to her breast.

"Don't make me destroy you, like I destroyed Hilda," growled Matron.

"What?" cried Miss Wilson.

"I killed Hilda Annersley! I pushed her off a cliff and then thew rocks onto her corpse, covered it all with acid and set it on fire! What was left of her I fed to Bruno!"

Nell turned white with shock, she even dropped her gin bottle.

"Now get out of my way! Unless you wish to die too!"

Nell reached out her hand and pressed a button on her wheel chair. There was sound of metal grinding against metal, and a slowly a machine gun emerged from the top of the chair. She pressed another button and a flame thrower emerged from each arm. There was a burst of flame and a splutter of machine gun bullets and what was left of Matron could have been scraped up with a shovel. The residents of the Platz all gave a cheer.

"And now Jack," said Joey, "I think you have some explaining to do."


The End.
Author:  Lesley [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Well done Nell - now I've got one more job for you... :twisted:
Author:  jmc [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Excellent, just excellent. Thanks Elle
Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Well done Nell. Thanks Elle.
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Love the ending! But - she dropped her gin bottle?!? :shock:

Thankyou!
Author:  Abi [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Haha - well done, Nell! :lol:
Author:  Elle [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
Love the ending! But - she dropped her gin bottle?!? :shock:

Thankyou!


It's ok, I think we can assume it was empty, she wouldn't have dropped it had it been full!
Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Well, that is a relief. You had me worried for a while!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Thanks Elle, this was a joy to read as always :mrgreen: :lol:
Author:  Pingaware [ Thu Dec 23, 2010 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Changing of the Guard completed 19th Dec
Thanks Elle. The usual wonderfully crazy and enjoyable ride! :D
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