The CBB :: View topic - Up before the judges

#1: Up before the judges Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 8:43 am

The woman came into the room and stood on the centre of the X on the floor.

“What’s your name?”

“Joey Maynard.”

“Okay, Joey, tell us something interesting about yourself,” said the tall dark-haired judge, who obviously considered himself to be in control.

Joey smiled confidently. “I’m an author, and I have eleven children.”

A brief silence, then, “Eleven children?” asked the judge at the other end of the table, with an Irish accent.

“Yes, first there were Len, Con and Margot, the triplets, then there was Stephen, Charles and Michael all singletons, then Felix and Felicity, the first twins, then Cecilia Marya and last Geoff and Phil, the second twins. We have also adopted Marie-Claire and I have a number of wards.”

“That’s some family,” said the middle judge, a petite woman with red hair, admiringly.

“Okay,” interrupted the first judge, having recovered his sang-froid. “What are you going to sing for us?”

“The Red Sarafan.” Joey answered.

The judges resisted the urge to ask “The Red What?” and nodded to her to begin.

They sat in silence as she sang the Russian folk song and when she finished, gave their verdict.

“I think you’ve got a lovely, lovely voice,” said the red-haired judge, “absolutely lovely.”

“It’s not very strong,” interrupted the Irish one.

“No it’s not very strong,” agreed red-hair, “but it is beautiful.”

“I agree,” said the dark-haired man, “it is a stunning voice, but I’m not sure your image is right for the show. For a start, what is it with the hairstyle? You look like an ageing Princess Leia!”

Joey raised a hand to an earphone. “I’ve always had my hair like this.” She answered.

“Yes, it looks like it, too.” he replied dryly.

“I’m interested in why you chose that song,” said the Irish judge, “it’s not the usual kind of song we’ve been hearing.”

“It’s a personal favourite,” answered Joey, “But I can sing something else if you would like – how about ‘Hark, Hark the Lark’?”

A shudder passed through the row of judges like a Mexican wave.

“No, I don’t think we need to hear anything else,” protested the dark judge. “What do you two think – in or out?”

“I’m sorry but it’s a ‘no’ from me,” said the Irish judge.

“It’s difficult,” started the red-haired judge, “you do have a beautiful voice, but we’d have to do a serious makeover on your image to get you anywhere, and I don’t know if even then you’ll have what it takes.”

“Please, I would love to have this chance,” pleaded Jo.

The judge thought a bit longer, until the dark-haired one started to get fidgety “Ok,” she said, “I’ll give you a chance, it’s a ‘yes’ from me.”

Joey gave her an ecstatic smile and turned to the last judge, her dark eyes looking meltingly at him.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think you have what we’re looking for. It’s a ‘no’ from me.” There was a finality in his answer and Jo, seeing there would be no point in arguing, left the room to be comforted by that nice young man presenter.

#2: Author: Fatima, Location: The Middle East

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:15 am

I would so like to see Jo get a make-over on her image!!
Thanks, Liz, that was fun!

#3: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:50 am

*g* Thank you Liz!

#4: Author: Helen P, Location: Crewe, Cheshire

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:30 am

Quote:

Joey raised a hand to an earphone. “I’ve always had my hair like this.” She answered.

“Yes, it looks like it, too.” he replied dryly.

*Splutters tea all over the monitor* Laughing

Thanks Liz! Very Happy

#5: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:32 am

Thanks, Liz. That was great to read. It is so annoying that they judge her by her looks, not by her voice.

#6: Re: Up before the judges Author: Tiffany,

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:42 am

LizB wrote:

“The Red Sarafan.” Joey answered.

The judges resisted the urge to ask “The Red What?” and nodded to her to begin.

*giggles like a loon* poor Joey, and the poor judges! No common ground...

#7: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:03 pm

What fun!

Thanks, Liz.

How do you think of them?!! Shocked

#8: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:34 pm

Lolol!!! Joey and the X Factor!!! I can just picture it too!

#9: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:28 pm

*g* thanks Liz.

#10: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:28 pm

Brilliant! Thanks Liz!

#11: Author: betterincini,

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:19 pm

*Snorts*

#12: Author: Róisín, Location: Galway, Eire

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:46 pm

Fantastic Liz!

#13: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:57 pm

Not sure, but I think on the whole I feel sorrier for the judges! Laughing

#14: Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:44 pm

Carolyn P wrote:

Not sure, but I think on the whole I feel sorrier for the judges! Laughing

Just what I was thinking Very Happy

Thanks, Liz!

#15: Author: Liane, Location: Manchester England

Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:33 am

BethC wrote:

Carolyn P wrote:

Not sure, but I think on the whole I feel sorrier for the judges! Laughing

Just what I was thinking Very Happy

Thanks, Liz!

And me.
Thanks Liz.

#16: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:24 am

I suspect this is a crossover, and I'm missing the point. Instead, it reminded me of the audition that drove a desperate Maria von Trapp to search the music section of a famous American book store for a book on "sex appeal."* Laughing

(*phrase not yet in her German-English vocabulary, according to The Story of the Trapp Family Singers. The pictures suggest their braids were higher on their heads than Joey's, though.)

*would probably enjoy Joey's music*

#17: Author: aitchemelle, Location: West Sussex

Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 9:09 pm

Yay Liz you posted it! And I missed it! Hurrah I have found it now!

#18: Author: RuthY, Location: Anyone's guess

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:35 pm

lol

Thanks Liz.

Ruth

#19: Author: LadyGuinevere, Location: Leicester

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 10:00 am

Awww.... poor Joey. LOL! Laughing

#20: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:24 pm

my flatmates think I'm crazy now - but thanks Liz!

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