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#1: The Maynard will FINISHED 16th May Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 11:31 am
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1936. Civil War in Spain, German troops enter the Rhineland, President Roosevelt is reelected to office, Stalin's show trials are in full swing and there is consternation in London over the relationship between the new King, Edward VIII and his mistress.

Meanwhile, in the Austrian Tirol, a young doctor and a commander in the Royal Navy and his own wife smuggle a baby, born out of wedlock, to England. The young doctor , with tears in his eyes, kisses his daughter goodbye and promises her they will meet again and that she will not be forgotten in his will.

Thirty years later, the swinging sixties, and eleven grieving children are in a solicitors rooms in London. It is the reading of the last will and testament of Dr Jack and Mrs Josephine Maynard, who were suddenly and inexplicably killed whilst sailing on Loch Ness.

Mr Obadiah Kelvin, sighs inwardly. Contained in the will is something the grieving Maynards will not like. It will reveal to them the presence and identity of Joey and Jack's illegitimate child. The presence sits before Mr. Kelvin.

"I think it a good idea if you read the will to them Mr Kelvin and then introduce me to them, once the facts of my life are told. I shall wait here until you call me."

The bell like tones start to niggle Mr Kelvin, but he nods his agreement.

He proceeds next door.

"Mrs. Entwhistle? Misses and Mr Maynards?"

Last edited by Phil on Tue May 16, 2006 9:38 pm; edited 7 times in total

#2: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 11:44 am
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Oh Phil, this looks good. More soon, please.

#3: Author: Tan, Location: London via Newcastle Australia

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:26 pm
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Interesting ....

#4: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:29 pm
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The bell-like tones remind me uncomfortably of OOAO.

#5: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:29 pm
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Question is, do we know who the presence is?

#6: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:31 pm
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Not yet, but we will.

#7: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:50 pm
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Those bell-like tones sound very familiar, and the dates (3 years before the triplets) fit ...

#8: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:53 pm
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Oh gosh, and even the naming pattern fits...

#9: Author: vicki_theterror, Location: london

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:20 pm
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HAVE TO ADMIT I HAD SIMILAR THOUGHTS

#10: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:42 pm
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Seems we are both in Miss Dene's office together!

#11: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:47 pm
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I must admit Mary-Lou had crossed my mind too.

#12: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:57 pm
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Oh, what a lovely interesting beginning. I can hardly wait for more! Thanks, Phil.

#13: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 2:28 pm
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Thanks Phil, this looks great!

Kathryn

#14: Author: Tiffany, Location: madthesispanicargh

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 5:08 pm
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My first thought was Mary-Lou... I wonder how the triplets will take it?

#15: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 5:11 pm
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But is Phil letting us lead ourselves up the garden path?

#16: Author: Lizzie, Location: A little village on the Essex/Suffolk border

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 5:33 pm
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Joey and Jack are dead?

Sad as I am, that was my first response. Intriguing, more soon please!

#17: Author: Róisín,

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 5:37 pm
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I thought it was Reg first Shocked

but yes, M-L makes far more sense! Poor Doris.

#18: Author: nikkie, Location: Cumbria

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 8:46 pm
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I was more intruiged(can NEVER spell that Embarassed

) by Loch Ness Shocked

More please Phil

#19: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 10:34 pm
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Hmm. Mary-Lou seems most likely but then I'm never good at guessing these things and Phil's too good at surprising us!

#20: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 12:29 am
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A naval commander? Hmmmm - maybe it's not OOAO then?

#21: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:11 am
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Very interesting! Why couldn't Jack and Joey get married earlier?

#22: Author: Alice, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 12:37 pm
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Róisín wrote:

I thought it was Reg first Shocked

but yes, M-L makes far more sense! Poor Doris.

I did illogically think the same thing!

#23: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 12:39 pm
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Hmm this is really intriguing! Thanks Phil Very Happy

#24: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 1:32 pm
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Come on Phil, we all want to know.

#25: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:02 pm
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Poor Obadiah! His heart really wasn't in being a solicitor. He had wanted to go into acting, but a strict Father and overbearing Mother had decided otherwise!

He couldn't help but feel the assembled Maynards looked upon him all red eyed as if they were a pack of wolves.

"M...M...M...My dear Sirs and Ladies, your late beloved parents stipulated I read you this letter before the will. Please bear with me.

The nun and the young naval lieutenant both rolled their eyes in impatience, but a look from Mrs Entwhistle stopped that at once.

"To our dearest babies,

If you are hearing this letter now, it means your dear Mama and Papa have passed away to a better life, and one where we shall all meet again.

(Sniffs and sobs, Mr Kelvin paused)

Papa and I have a secret which we felt we could never reveal to you until such a time as this. You should all have your own careers and earnings by now and should be able to stand on your own two feet in the world.

(Growing anxiety here, the nun emitted a growl, which sounded not unlike that of a mother cat scolding a naughty kitten)

Marie-Claire, Erica, Roger, Ruey and Roddy are all provided for by their relatives, so we have no fears for any of you. There is however, one other person, whom we have been unable to provide for until now. In the best unselfish traditions of the Chalet School, we should like to redress this sin and we leave all the money, and Estate of Freuedesheim to our eldest daughter.

(Mrs Entwhistle was utterly bewildered and turned a bright shade of red, she could feel ten pairs of eyes boring into her. The letter went on.)
No darlings, it is not to Len we leave everything, we said our eldest daughter.

(Loud gasps!)

Some three years before the triplets were born, when I was still Head Girl, I fell pregnant, by your Father to be. Luckily Madge never knew a thing, being weather bound at the Sonnalpe and so busy with Sybil, who had just herself arrived.

I didn't "show" very well and I don't know how, but Matey and the staff never guessed! I was extra careful with myself and tried not to get into any trouble. The baby was a little girl! and although premature, she showed every inclination of being a strong sturdy, healthy child.

Papa arranged for her to be smuggled out of the country, with the help of an old schoolfriend who was a naval attache to the Italian embassy and was on holiday in Tirol. This attache put us in touch with a lepidopterist who worked for the British Museum. Neither he nor his wife could have children, so they adopted our darling daughter.

We always intended to reclaim her, and she had been told from an early age who her real parents were. It was intended she join the Chalet School, which she still did! Even though Hitler threw us out of the Tirol! She was sworn to secrecy never to reveal her relationship to you as you were all so young and growing up, but she loved you and looked after with an intensity of a true eldest sister.

We thought we had got away with it, but the Austrian midwife mentioned to a Dr Hunter at the San that Papa had fathered our eldest. He tried to blackmail Papa and even said to Uncle Jem's face that we had had a child together. I could have died that day! Madge was there too! Fortunately Hunter had blotted his copybook with Jem on several occasions and upset all the staff at the San, he even started to pursue me to provoke your dear Papa to retaliation. He was jealous of your Papa.

Dear Jem would have no word said against Papa even though he had heard the truth. I conveniently went to India to holiday with Uncle Dick and Auntie Mollie to avoid any suspicions Madge may have had and Hunter was sacked. I last heard he had died in a Japanese PoW camp.

At the end of this tale, I feel sure you would agree this sin against our eldest must be redressed and she must inherit all financial savings and the Estate of Freuedesheim.

We shall always love you.

Mama and Papa."

#26: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:09 pm
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The letter does have a certain... insouciance... I'm sure it was penned by Jo rather than Jack! But really....

#27: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:13 pm
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Oh dear - I should feel really sorry for poor Joey and Jack, having to give up their baby, but I keep wanting to laugh at the thought of the others' faces!

#28: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:06 pm
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Fancy giving their 'eldest' daughter everything! I can imagine how popular that will make her; she'll be fabulous at taking over the reins if it is OOAO! Thanks Phil.

#29: Author: La Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:26 pm
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Oooo!!! Is it OOAO then?
Thanks Phil Very Happy

#30: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 5:35 pm
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Surely it's OOAOML, oh I wish I could see the expression on Margot's face!

#31: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 6:21 pm
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Thanks Phil, what a fabulous letter penned, I'm sure, by the hand of Joey. I can see where OOAO (if it is indeed her) gets it from!

Kathryn

#32: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 7:47 pm
—
"What in the name of reason does this mean?" expostulated Steve.

"But they can't leave us like this!" shrieked thirteen year old Phil.

"We're still at school!" cried Geoff.

"So am I!" agreed a distressed Cecil

"We're just leaving school!" shouted Felicity. Felix nodded vigorously.

"All this time! All this time! She told me I was the eldest and I had to be responsible! And all this time I really had an older sister! Older than me, and she was at the Chalet School too! Living on our doorstep! Who is she Mr Kelvin? WHO IS SHE?" shrieked Len

Poor Obadiah Kelvin nearly burst into tears under Len's justifiable distress. He was always scared of women and prone to tears and the sight of Len in a temper was more than he could stand. It really wasn't his fault either. He didn't write the will!

Charles Maynard took the terrified solictor under his wing.

"Sorry old chap, Len doesn't mean it, but you can't blame her or any of us for our reactions."

Thus reassured and hiding behind Charles, Mr Kelvin pointed to the inner office.

"She...She...She's in there!"

Then a familiar clarion bell like tone preceded the majestic presence.

"Helena Entwhistle! That is not the behaviour Mama would tolerate! Papa would be ashamed of you! Perhaps I should give you an order mark, my little sister!"

Silence fell as Mary Lou entered, a wry smile on her face.

"Darling brothers and sisters! Reunited at last!"

Margot was the nearest to her, her face registering total shock, her jaw dropped, her eyes were wide open, there was genuine fear in her eyes! Mary Lou advanced on her and kissed her on both cheeks.

"My own naughty little Margot! My bad little sister! How often did I have to scold you at school? Where's my dreamy Con?"

Before she could descend on Con, Len gave a howl of despair and bolted from the room!

"Wait here!" commanded Mary Lou imperiously, and she rushed out to pursue Len.

#33: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 7:54 pm
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Poor things! There really is no escaping her, is there?

#34: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 8:18 pm
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*sniggers*

Glad to see that you wrote this one, Phil!

#35: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 8:50 pm
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Laughing

Thanks Phil!

#36: Author: grover, Location: Dublin

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 8:51 pm
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*giggles*

No wonder OOAO inherited the mantle of 'champion butter-inner' from
Joey...it was genetic after all! Very Happy

Thank you,Phil!

#37: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 8:54 pm
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*G* Very funny. Smile

#38: Author: Rosy-Jess, Location: Gloucestershire-London-Aberystwyth

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:38 pm
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Golly. I think I'd be running away as well in the circumstances.

#39: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:42 pm
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Thanks, Phil. This is really great. I wonder what will happen next.

#40: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 10:44 pm
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It isn't really very thoughtful of Jack and Joey to ignore their other eleven children in their will.
Were they eaten by the Loch Ness monster? Or is that a St Clares drabble for someone to take on?

#41: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 10:47 pm
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And very short-sighted of them not to realise they might die while some of the children are still at school.

#42: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:56 am
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Len had run straight into the nearby Goat Tavern pub and ordered a double scotch. Her husband came over to her.

"My poor love! Was it really that bad? Come and sit down, the others will be over shortly."

Reg was all concern and Len melted into the arms of her SLOC.

Then Mary Lou stormed in. Unfortunately Reg was about to put his foot in it big time, but then, how was he supposed to know the shocking revelation Len had just heard.

"Here we are love! Here's an old friend! Remember Mary Lou, who was always so kind to you? She's always taken a special interest in you, as if you were her family! Fancy meeting you here Mary Lou! You've heard the sad news..."

Reg got no further. A stinging slap across his face knocked him clean to the ground and he banged his head on the bar, slipping into the depths of unconsciousness with immediate effect.

A steely glint in Mary Lou's eyes which had terrified many a wicked middle was fixed upon Len!

"I am ashamed of you! Behaving like a spoilt baby and assaulting your husband like that! Now come back to the solicitor's office this instant. I can see without me, our family would go to pieces! It's just as well I am your older sister!"

In tears, Len cried out in front of everyone,

"I could murder you Mary Lou Trelawney! Do you hear me? I could murder you for this!"

"It's Maynard, by the way."

"WHAT?!"

"Maynard. Mary Lou Maynard is my real name. I had it changed by deed poll. Now come along you naughty litle girl!"

And grabbing Len's wrist, she dragged her out of the pub. A semi conscious Reg followed in complete bewilderment.

#43: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 9:02 am
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Poor Reg Laughing

#44: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 9:11 am
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Laughing

Oh this is so funny!
Thanks Phil!

#45: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 12:06 pm
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Thanks, Phil. just imagine having to bear a fate worse than death for the rest of your days.

#46: Author: Rob, Location: Derbyshire, England

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 12:17 pm
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Jennie wrote:

Thanks, Phil. just imagine having to bear a fate worse than death for the rest of your days.

I wonder how many of Joey and Jack's children will *take a holiday* on Loch Ness after this? Laughing

Thanks Phil, can't wait for the next installment!

#47: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 1:08 pm
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Thanks, Phil. I feel sorry for Reg - he had no idea what had happened.

#48: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 1:49 pm
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Mr Kelvin had finally had enough. Pushed too far, he finally asserted himself in a manner of which his Father would have been proud and asked the mad Maynards to go back to their hotel as they had finished their business with him. If they were unhappy with the will, they would have to investigate legal action. He was sure his colleagues in the legal world would be only too happy to take their money.

It was the bad luck of the Maynards that their new found eldest sister was booked to stay at the same hotel.

With bad feeling radiating from all, they made their way to the hotel, where they had a very silent and sulky meal, despite Mary Lou being"full of beans" to quote herself.

Mike managed to make the only comment of interest by inviting everyone to the Royal Navy display in Portsmouth and then come back to the hotel.

Mike hadn't intended Mary Lou to hear, but she had ears like a bat which could pick up the faintest whisper.

"Of course we should all love to come Mike! It's so nice to see you maturing into a sensible young man. Papa would be proud."

Sour looks all round.

Fellow diners in the hotel restaurant could not fail to notice the tension, particularly a small egg headed Belgian and an elderly lady from the village of St Mary Mead in Deepest Sleepishire.

#49: Author: Eilidh, Location: Macclesfield

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 1:53 pm
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*bounces*

tis Poirot and Miss Marple! Wonderful!

#50: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 1:53 pm
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Well, now I am expecting false wills and faked letters; not to mention murder and mayhem.

Tee hee....

#51: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 2:20 pm
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Oh, I want murder and mayhem, too! I adore Poirot, and am really looking forward to seeing where he comes into this! Thanks, Phil.

#52: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 3:11 pm
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Thanks Phil and I'm so glad you've brought Poirot and Marple into this! I can't wait for more Very Happy

Kathryn

#53: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 5:32 pm
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"I do so love the sea air! Don't you M. Poirot?" asked kind Miss Marple.

M. Poirot gave a grin. He was not looking forward to a day at Portsmouth. His little tendency towards "mal de mer" usually ended up in him being "mal au coeur" and "hors de combat" for a day afterwards.

However, Miss Marple was his guest and he had offered to take her anywhere along the south coast for her holiday. Then with impeccably bad timing, Poirot's good friend Captain Hastings had mentioned that an old war colleague had invited him and two guests to the Royal Navy open day.

Poirot had summoned up the courage to board HMS Chichester with Miss Marple. At least that vessel was in dry dock! They strolled around the deck and Poirot wondered if he would ever acquire his sea legs.

Suddenly muffled voices were heard from a cabin. It was difficult to tell whether it was male or female.

"But you have access to the armoury! (muffled comment) I just want her out of our lives! (more muffled comment). Well if you won't help, I hope your precious ship sinks with you on it!"

The door opened, but Poirot and Miss Marple did not see who it was, for Captain Hastings and his friend Commodore Blott appeared to whisk them both away to a sherry in the officers dining area.

#54: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 6:06 pm
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Is Mary-Lou about to get what's coming to her?!

Thanks Phil Very Happy

Kathryn

#55: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 6:39 pm
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The plot is thickening nicely now! Thanks, Phil.

#56: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:44 pm
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I am now inclined to think M-L was in collusion with the Loch Ness Monster.

#57: Author: grover, Location: Dublin

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:56 pm
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So there'll be eleven possible suspects for the ( I assume) forthcoming murder?!
This is great,Phil,thanks!

#58: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 10:07 pm
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Oh this is fantastic!
Looking forward to hearing lots more of this!

#59: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 10:26 pm
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A scream emanated from nearby HMS Bristol.

A splash and shout of "Man Overboard" rang out, followed by several other splashes.

"Eh? What the deuce?" spluttered the Commodore as he and Hastings ran from the cabin, Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple making a valiant effort at pursuit.

They were in time to see a body pulled from the sea.

"Young Maynard!" shouted the Commodore. He looked to the young midshipman who had dived in after Mike's fall.

"Tamblyn! What happened? Did you see? What about Maynard?"

Young Midshipman Josh Tamblyn checked for signs of life, he got up and shook his head at his superior officer.

"I'm afraid he's dead sir. He had been hit over the head it looks like, several times."

In the days that followed, all Royal Navy personnel were questioned by their military police. Everyone had a cast iron alibi. The inexplicable death of Michael Maynard was turned over to the civil police, with a great deal of regret by the Royal Navy, they felt this was their case, but they had no jurisdiction over civilians.

Detective Inspector Japp had himself been enjoying a holiday in Portsmouth and was present at the docks when the incident occurred. He offered his services to the investigating officer, a humourless man by the name of Chief Inspector Slack. They were to start interviewing witnesses today.

"if my colleague Poirot was here, he'd have the case wrapped up in no time." began Japp.

Slack went one better. "If you knew Miss Marple, Japp! She solves half our grisly murders for us. Honestly, that lady..."

The doors opened to admit the redoubtable sleuths.

"Mon cher Inspector Japp, I am pleased to see you in such terrible circumstances!"

"Dear Mr Slack! I just want to say how pleased I am that you have been appointed to this case!"

The two policemen looked at each other. They wondered whether it was worth carrying on with their jobs.

Meanwhile, back at their London hotel, the Maynards were in mourning again.

"Now come along! No spineless jellyfish please! Mama and Papa would not want us to grieve and I am sure Mike wouldn't either!"

"Oh Mary Lou will you just SHUT UP telling us how to behave!" bellowed Geoff.

In icy tones, Mary Lou replied. "That is no way to address your eldest sister! Now calm down! Stop being a silly boy and then you may beg my pardon!"

"It's strange how Mama and Papa died, then you come on the scene and all of a sudden, Mike dies!" Con blurted out exactly what she was thinking.

Mary Lou fixed her with a steely glare. "Have you forgotten the warning I gave you thirteen years ago about holding your tongue and thinking before you speak?"

Con had not forgotten the consequences of the half term visit to Zermatt. She blushed.

"I have half a mind to turf you all out of Freuedesheim for this! Call yourselves Mama's Chalet School children? Ha! Mama and I alone embody the Chalet School! No one else has ever come close."

This was too much for Margot.

"What about Len? She was an excellent head girl and she doesn't have your irritating tones or constant put downs!"

"I see going into the order of the Blue Nuns has not taught you any humility Margot. I suggest you take a good long look at that clock Emerence gave you and remember what a naughty person you were and try to reform!"

All this was so much Greek to the rest. They knew Margot had a clock that she left at Freuedesheim and she had always been a bit peculiar about it.

"Now then! Bed for everyone I think. I shall bring you all some hot milk to help you sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. The police wish to speak to us."

That night, Con did not drink her milk. She flushed it down the toilet. She could not sleep. What was behind Mike's mysterious death? At two in the morning, she heard a dull thud. She thought no more of it until a scream awoke her. The chamber maid ran screaming out of Mary Lou's room.

Con scrambled out of bed and in to find Mary Lou spreadeagled on her bed, a gunshot wound to her head and Margot's clock in her hand...

#60: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 10:27 pm
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Hurrah! Another twist.

Thanks Phil

#61: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:45 am
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Shocked

bodies left, right and centre! It's going to be great to see whether Poirot and Miss Marple can work together or whether they'll try to outdo each other! Thanks, Phil.

#62: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 8:25 am
—
"No one is to leave the room!" thus Chief Inspector Slack as he arrived to interview the Maynards.

Slack did not like the city. He much preferred rural policing where he could solve cases over a cup of tea and a buttered scone. Usually the crimes involved theft of someone's prize marrow or a pedigree cat gone missing. Here in the city, people were actually murdered. In quite a brutal way.

Japp was in his element however. He was used to the violence and squalor of London's underworld. Usually it took him only a few twists of Fingers Mickey's arms to solve the case. Fingers was Japp's informant, but unfortunately Fingers was a guest of Her Majesty's prisons at the moment for petty theft, so he could not help.

"I intend to interview each and every one of you regarding the deaths of Lt Michael Maynard and Miss Mary Lou Maynard." began Slack.

All shuddered at Mary Lou's surname.

A Belgian gentleman and a little old lady watched the proceedings carefully.

"Well, none of us killed Mike! I must admit we were all tempted at times throughout his life, but we didn't kill him!" This was Steve Maynard.

"Nevertheless Dr Maynard, I have two murders to investigate! I shall need to know where you were at the time of the murders and what you were doing.

Now. Whom does this belong to?" Slack held Margot's clock up.

Margot raised her hand. She had a nasty feeling that clock was going to land her in trouble again.

Pressed by the detectives, Margot revealed the whole sorry story behind the clock and the events at Zermatt. Apart from Len and Con, this was the first her siblings knew of Margot's disgraceful behaviour.

Margot was a bully and a blackmailer!

"If Mama had known!" breathed Charles

"She would have collapsed earlier and Margot would have been the cause of it, rather than Mike's little stunt in that ravine, only a few months later!" said Steve grimly.

"Mary Lou was talking about that clock to Margot last night!" struck up Felix.

"What if Mike knew? I wonder if he did?" piped up Felicity.

Japp advanced on Margot.

"Mary Margaret Maynard, I am arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Mary Lou Maynard."

Before she knew what was happening, she was in a cold, cramped cell, she heard heavy doors slam and bolts being drawn and the ominous echo of footsteps!

#63: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 8:32 am
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Poor Margot - still at least Mary Lou is out of the way! Think actually that len has a bigger motive.

#64: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 8:36 am
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Yes, I'd be more suspicious of Len than Margot, but what about Con? They do say still waters run deep and that you should always watch out for the quiet ones!

#65: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 8:40 am
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First I was thinking Kind Hearts and Coronets, then Murder on the Orient Express... red herrings galore!

#66: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:12 am
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Oh good ML is dead! Laughing

Sad about Mike though.

#67: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 10:57 am
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Margot had been released on bail thanks to the efforts of her brothers and sisters. She had pleaded her innocence. She had been nowehere near Mike at the time of his death. She had been talking to the Catholic Chaplain at the time. But she had seen Mike with somebody and recognised that somebody, but she couldn't remember the name!

She was also tucked up in bed on a different floor on the other side of the hotel when Mary Lou had been shot.

However, Slack and Japp felt she was a prime suspect: prone to violent rages, a bully and attempted blackmailer and her clock had been found in Mary Lou's grasp. She had every reason to hate Mary Lou, who had been her nemesis at Zermatt.

Margot pondered this sulkily in the cold wet night as she left Chelsea Police Station. Steve was due to collect her shortly in his car. How was she to explain to Mother Superior that she had been arrested on suspicion of murder?

It was all Mama's fault. That silly will! Having Mary Lou as a love child, then putting labels on her children from birth. She strongly resented the label of "naughty one".

Margot saw a black mini approach. Was this Steve? What was going on?
That car was going much too fast, there was no registration plate either and the driver was masked!

Margot felt a frisson of fear. It was the last thing she felt as the car deliberately mounted the pavement and ran her over.

Ten minutes later, Steve arrived to see a blanket put over Margot's face and put into an ambulance. The police were taking witness statements.

Dear Mods, please can you move this to St Schoilastikas or St Clare's? It's taking ona crazy twist, and I'm not sure where it should go. I did put it here as I thought the death and violence might not be suitable.

#68: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 11:36 am
—
Shocked

Margot too?

#69: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 12:16 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I am looking forward to finding out who is committing all these murders.

#70: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 12:20 pm
—
Oh dear - 'And then there was none!'

Thanks Phil

#71: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 12:28 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I do love seeing the Maynards get what they deserve.

May we have a party to celebrate OOAO's death?

#72: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 1:40 pm
—
So, who is going to wake up and discover it was all a dream?

#73: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 1:55 pm
—
The criminal was panting heavily. The handbrake was off the car, it just needed rolling into the Thames. Come on! A bit more of an effort! Come on! It had to go in the river.

SPLASH!

Still breathing heavily, the criminal patted the Royal Naval service revolver in their pocket and ran from the scene.

Ten minutes later, police sirens were heard.

"Who's next?" quivered Cecil in Con's arms. "They've done Mary Lou, they killed Mike and now Margot! It's obvious isn't it? Someone wants to kill all of us! Who hates us this much?"

"Could it really be one of us?" proposed Felix.

"Don't be silly!" snapped his twin, Felicity.

Phil started to sob and Geoff looked as white as a sheet.

"That's enough scare stories! Bed for you lot!" said Len. Her beloved Reg had returned to the San and had given his wife a very funny look as he departed. He hadn't forgotten that slap.

Cecily, Phillippa and Geoffrey departed to bed. Felix and Felicity followed an hour later.

"Poor Margot!" sighed Charles.

"Just seeing her like that, all lifeless!" Steve shuddered, he had had the task of formally identifying Margot.

"At least you're the eldest again Len!" said Con, with all the tact of an elephant.

"We've got to take their minds off these events. How about a trip to the zoo?" said Len.

"Excellent idea!" agreed everyone.

"What a charming idea!" chimed in Miss Marple.

"Miss Marple! I had no idea you were here!" exclaimed Steve.

"Mais oui, she is my guest ici!"

"Monsieur Poirot! We met in Paris! When you were on holiday!" squealed Con.

"Oh M Poirot, Miss Marple, with two such trtained minds, perhaps you can help us as to who is killing our brothers and sisters." Con again.

"And Mlle Mary Lou, n'est-ce pas?"

Silence.

"Oh yes, allright." Con once more.

"We shall be delighted. But first the trip to the zoo. Mais, Prenez Garde! the zoo have just taken delivery of a consignment of South American death vipers. Their bite is said to result in the slowest, most painful, lingering death a man has ever suffered..."

#74: Author: meerium, Location: belfast, northern ireland

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:42 pm
—
Phil, this is genius!!! Thoroughly silly!

#75: Author: Alice, Location: London, England

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:04 pm
—
Ooo, they're dropping like flies. Who will be next Question

#76: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:14 pm
—
And just who's going to have the privilege of Finding out about that snake first hand? Laughing

Thanks Phil.

#77: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:48 pm
—
Thanks Phil, this is just brilliant Very Happy

Kathryn

#78: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:56 pm
—

Lesley wrote:

Oh dear - 'And then there was none!'

Just what I was thinking Laughing

This is brilliant Phil

#79: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:01 pm
—
Royal Naval service revolvers make me think of James Bond; someone reassure me I'm going going insane...

Well, actually, don't bother. I'm quite prepared to accept I'm going insane this afternoon.

#80: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:21 pm
—

ibarhis wrote:

Royal Naval service revolvers make me think of James Bond; someone reassure me I'm going going insane...

You want reassurance that you are going insane? Confused

#81: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:24 pm
—
I think that the first going should have been a 'not' but on the other hand sinking gently into insanity might have certain attractions...

#82: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:26 pm
—
Yes, I am envisioning an escape at the zoo! Thanks, Phil, this is great!

#83: Author: La Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:52 pm
—
*laughing to self*
Thanks Phil

#84: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 5:46 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I am looking forward to seeing what happens at the zoo.

#85: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:00 pm
—
Thanks Phil, I'm looking forward to discovering who the next victim will be!

#86: Author: Rob, Location: Derbyshire, England

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:03 pm
—
This really is great Phil ... can't wait for the next installment! Very Happy

#87: Author: RuthY, Location: Anyone's guess

Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:08 pm
—
Laughing

This is great Phil Laughing

Thanks

I have read it from the beginning it explains why Mary-Lou was so like Joey !

Who will be next Question

please tell us

#88: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 12:56 am
—
This has a scary plausibility! Laughing

#89: Author: Sarah_L, Location: Leeds

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 1:02 pm
—
We should all try and guess who's next to die. I think Stephen or Con.

#90: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 1:42 pm
—
"Don't lean on the glass Geoff!"

Felicity was anxious. Geoff was fascinted by the South American death vipers. The snakes appeared to take an interest in him too. They hung on their branches and coiled and uncoiled

"Allright Felicity, I'm not a kid!" grumbled Geoff.

Meanwhile, Phil had squealed at a captive King Cobra which had opened its hood at her. She ran to Felix who overbalanced and nearly fell against the glass separating him from a cayman.

"Watch out Phil!" Felix reprimanded his sister.

"Come on, let's go and see the penguins." said Steve sensibly.

Thoroughly bored by the thought of penguins, Geoff and Phil followed their brothers and sisters to the penguin enclosure.

Suddenly there was the most unearthly roar and a scream!

"FELICITY! FELICITY!" screamed Felix and he ran to help his sister who was being eaten by a ravenous komodo dragon.

Everyone ran in terror, keepers appeared with guns, but it was too late for Felicity and it was getting too late for Felix. The only one perfectly happy was the komodo dragon. Felix and Felicity were delicious!

Last edited by Phil on Sat May 13, 2006 5:28 pm; edited 1 time in total

#91: Author: Rob, Location: Derbyshire, England

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 2:48 pm
—
Shocked

Death by Komodo Dragon Shocked

I've got to hand it to you Phil, I did not see *that* coming Very Happy

#92: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:10 pm
—
It ate them both? Shocked

Thanks, Phil.

#93: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:14 pm
—
"Greedy Dragon" - see it had its own Buy One get One Free Deal then! Laughing

Last edited by Lesley on Sat May 13, 2006 4:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

#94: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 4:19 pm
—
LOL, Lesley. Now, what will eat Phil and Geoff?

#95: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 5:06 pm
—
An hour later in the zoo manager's office and with trusty Hercule and Miss Marple to comfort them, the Maynards grieved their recent bereavement.

"How was that thing allowed to escape?" sobbed Len.

"I am terribly sorry for the distress of your berevement Mrs Enwhistle. Rest assured I shall make the most thorough enquiries to find out what happened.."

The zoo manager was clearly embarrassed. To have one dragon eat one member of the public was a misfortune, but to eat two was a tragedy. Presently the phone rang.

"Hello Mr Rottenborough speaking. What? Are you certain?"

Mr Rottenborough replaced the receiver.

"Well?" said Con.

"It appears all the correct procedures were followed. The beast was secured properly, someone deliberately let it loose!"

"Where did it come from?" queried Miss Marple.

"I don't see how that's relevant!" snorted Charles.

"Well komodo dragons come from Indonesia. However this one had been roaming Loch Ness for about a fortnight to a month. We spent ages tracking it down. No one knows quite how it got there. It was a public menace and decimated the salmon and other wildlife. Apparently it may have killed people in the Loch."

Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot exchanged knowing looks.

Len, Con, Steve, Charles, Cecily, Phil and Geoff were all thinking the same thing. It had been a fortnight to a month since Dr and Mrs Maynard had been killed at Loch Ness.

Last edited by Phil on Sat May 13, 2006 5:28 pm; edited 1 time in total

#96: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 5:16 pm
—
The plot thickens! And on the strength of this, I watched 'Hercule Poirot's Christmas' on dvd this afternoon! Thanks, Phil, this is fabulous!

#97: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 5:40 pm
—
Hmmmm, so it's been trained to go after Maynards then? Laughing

#98: Author: nikkie, Location: Cumbria

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 6:18 pm
—
Curiouser and curiouser!
Thanks Phil

#99: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 7:04 pm
—
That's one highly suspicious komodo dragon...

Thanks Phil!

Kathryn

#100: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:18 pm
—
Secretly in the dead of night a figure crept along the corridors of the hotel where the Maynards slept.

Stopping outside room 202, the figure took out a french picklock. The door opened. The figure crept in.

Clothes were strewn all over the floor. Cecily was never a tidy girl.

Cecily wriggled on the bed. She was hot and not sleeping well. She kept seeing Felix and Felicity being eaten in her dreams by that awful beast! She heard them scream.

They screamed and screamed and screamed.

It seemed as if she were being eaten! She screamed, but could only taste the cotton of the pillow. Suddenly, she felt a force holding her down!

She woke up. She struggled! It was the killer! Help! Help!

She lashed out with one free foot and must have caught her attacker in a painful place. the pillow was off her face and she let out an ear splitting scream!

"Help! Len! Con! Steve! Help! Help me! Help! Please help!"

The attacker fled.

At once Len and Con came into her room, closely followed by Steve and Charles.

Len cuddled her sister.

"Oh Len, the killer was here and tried to suffocate me! It was horrible!"

"It's allright darling Cecil, we're here now. Come into my room. You can sleep with Con and I. Steve, I think it's a good idea if Geoff sleeps with you and Phil and Cecil sleep with Con and I."

"Right!" and Steve ran to find his youngest siblings. He was at the top of the stairs when he recognised someone.

"Oh hello! Fancy meeting you h..."

Stephen Maynard was pushed downstairs and there he remained until twenty minutes later, Charles found him. Dead!

#101: Author: Lizzie, Location: A little village on the Essex/Suffolk border

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:24 pm
—
Awesome.

Loving this, more please!

#102: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:30 pm
—
Hmmmm, so it's not a Maynard and not someone that is already dead - ponders.....

Phil do you want us to make guesses on the thread or PM you? Laughing

#103: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:36 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I am wondering if anyone will be left alive!

#104: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:45 pm
—
Oooh!

Make guesses on the thread! Don't worry somebody wil survive. Honest!

(Cackles with glee)

#105: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 10:44 pm
—
Apart from the murderer?

#106: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 10:52 pm
—
How about the lawyer? Or failing that Madge Russell, wanting all the Maynards out the way so she can inherit?

#107: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 12:14 am
—
What a good diversionary tactic from the murderer!

Hmmm...it's obviously someone they all know...I'm going with Miss Marple...she's a wiley old thing Very Happy

Thanks Phil!

Kathryn

#108: Author: Tara, Location: Malvern, Worcestershire

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 12:23 am
—
Ooh, just found this! How exciting. No guesses yet. Len?? Or has she gone already -I'm confused! Rolling Eyes

#109: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 9:13 am
—
I think it's Verity.

#110: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 9:54 am
—
"You know who the murderer is? Poirot, why didn't you come sooner? That Chief Inspector Slack has been keeping me out of the loop and running off to have cups of tea and scones with Miss Marple! Typical country policeman!" snorted Inspector Japp.

"Mais oui Inspecteur Japp. Meet me in the Wycliffe Bar in the hotel where the Maynards are staying at precisely vingt heures. Pardon, eight o'clock."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - - - - - -

Chief Inspector Slack smirked to himself. He knew he could trust Miss Marple to solve the case. Helping himself to his third buttered scone, he listened to the venerable old lady.

"It was just what my friend Dorothy said, she had been in the Salvation Army and was certain this person had done something! More tea Inspector?"

"Thank you Miss Marple."

"Half past eight tonight Inspector."

"Don't you worry Miss Marple. We shall be there."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Blissfuly unaware of the police closing in, the murderer planned for their next victim. There were five to be eliminated. Five.

The murderer cursed. That botched attempt on Cecily Maynard! That hadn't worked! Perhaps the revolver would have been the better weapon.

The murderer chuckled. As they walked the busy, bustling streets of London, who would know they were passing a killer?

The murderer took great pride in being a helpful member of society on the outside. An old lady was helped across the road, a child's balloon was rescued from a tree and a waitress was generously tipped in a cafe.

It was time to plan tonight's little escapade!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Len and Con were shopping in Barker's department store on Kensington High Street. Somehow, they didn't quite feel like enjoying the bright colours and fashions of the sixties.

Then they saw a familiar face.

"Verity Ann!"

"It is ! Verity Ann! How are you? How is your husband? My, have you been abroad? You have quite a tan!"

"Hello Len, hello Con. I'm afraid my husband met with a terrible accident whilst we were on hoilday."

"Where did you go?"

"Indonesia. He was eaten by one of those awful komodo dragons!"

#111: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:29 am
—
How very curious!
Looking forward to this mystery being solved!

#112: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 1:01 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I wonder if Miss Marple or Poirot will solve the case first.

#113: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:06 pm
—
Who cares which one solves it. This is hilarious, Phil. Thanks.

#114: Author: Catherine_B, Location: London, UK

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:30 pm
—
Hehehehe Smile

So maybe Verity inherits from Mary-Lou, in which case she also has a motive?

And she must know about dragons if her husband was eaten by one!

#115: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:39 pm
—
Maybe she brought it back with her! She certainly didn't seem too upset by his demise, anyhow. Thanks, Phil.

#116: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:55 pm
—
Assembled in the Wycliff Bar were the remaining Maynards, Mr Obadiah Kelvin and Verity Ann Carey.

Hercule Poirot was to launch into his speech.

"Merci pour votre attention. You must be wondering why I have called you all here."

"It's obvious isn't it? You've found the murderer?" asked Charles.

Poirot fixed Charles with a stare. Charles shrank back.

"Oui Monsieur Maynard. I believe the murderer to be someone in this very room. But let us see who had the motive! Madame Entwhistle!"

Len looked shocked!

"You were heard in the Goat Tavern pub on the day the will was read that you could kill Mlle Mary Lou n'est-ce pas? You, like all your brothers and sisters stood to lose everything, mais absolument everything! Particularly you, Mme Entwhistle as the eldest of your family.

Perhaps you tried to persuade your brother Michael to part with his service revolver to kill Mary Lou, and when Lt Maynard refused, you beat him over the head and threw him overboard!

Malheuresement, your own sister Margot saw you running from the scene of the crime and you decided to frame her for the killing of Mary Lou, by planting her clock on Mary Lou's dead hand. then, before your late brother arrived to collect Margot from custody, you got there first and ran your own triplet sister down!"

Then why in heaven's name did she set that dragon onto Fi and Flixy? And why try to kill me?" asked Cecily.

"That is the problem in the case against Mme Entwhistle. No, Mme Entwhistle is not the murderer. Nor are any of the Maynards ici.

"Monsieur Kelvin? How long have you been afraid of women? All your life? How long were you in collusion with Mary Lou Trelawney? She discovered your secret? She was blackmailing you in order to keep her quiet? She had you draw up a fake will purporting to come from the late Mrs Maynard, claiming Mary Lou was her illegitimate daughter. Mary Lou then took her pet komodo dragon, a gift from a friend in Indonesia to Loch Ness, where the late doctor and his wife were staying. It was there the unfortunate murders of Dr Jacques and Mme Maynard took place.

Mais Lt Maynard was tres suspicious and you quarrelled and killed him. You then feared Mary Lou would expose you, so you shot her, framed la Soeur Margot who saw you, and hoped to alter the will to your benefit. You then had to kill the remaining Maynards Monsieur et Mlle Felix et Felicity, the attempt on Mlle Cecily's life and your accidental meeting avec Stephen Maynard et les autres, not only for money, but to hide the fact you are gay!"

In triumph, Hercule Poirot turned to Inspector Japp.

"Ahem, Monsieur Poirot, I fear you have made a mistake." Miss Marple smiled sweetly. Poirot's face went puce!

#117: Author: nikkie, Location: Cumbria

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 4:24 pm
—
Poirot wrong Shocked

Thanks Phil

#118: Author: grover, Location: Dublin

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 6:21 pm
—
Phil,you are a genius! This is soooooo good!

#119: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 6:22 pm
—
Thanks Phil - I wonder what Miss Marple's solution is!

Incidentally - did anyone see the TV version of Cards on the Table a few weeks ago on ITV here in the UK and think how utterly awful it was and how much it deviated from the book in a way that really ruined the story?

Kathryn

#120: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 7:05 pm
—
"I'm afraid M. Poirot is quite wrong." sighed Miss Marple.

The Belgian detective was speechless.

"It is not that Mr Kelvin is the murderer, although he is quite gay."

Miss Marple did a little circuit of the room.

"However, he is correct in saying the murderer is someone in this room and that it is none of the surviving Maynards, although Mrs Entwhistle certainly has the best motive!"

"Oh merci beaucoup!" uttered Poirot sarcastically.

"Me? Why does everyone pick on me?" snarled Len.

Miss Marple faced Verity Ann.

"It was you my dear. Wasn't it? You were sole heir to Mary Lou's fortune, provided you remained unmarried, so you disposed of your husband in Indonesia and fed him to a komodo dragon. You then had the beast transported to Loch Ness, where Mary Lou was proposing to holiday. At the last minute, Mary Lou changed her plans and when you unleashed the beast it killed Dr and Mrs Maynard instead. In a panic, you left the beast in Loch Ness, where it was later captured.

You then found out Mary Lou was in fact the heiress to the Maynard fortune as their illegitimate child. So, you had to find a way of killing her. Years ago, you conducted an illicit liaison with Michael Maynard and you went to obtain his revolver. He refused and you attacked him. You then killed Mary Lou and decided to frame Margot. But Margot had seen you at Portsmouth, so you decided to eliminate her. You then feared that Mary Lou's fortune would go to her Maynard relatives, so you embarked on a campaign of murder. You were delighted to be reunited with your komodo dragon and it ate Felix and Felicity. You attempted to murder Cecily. A botched affair! Whilst fleeing the hotel, you bumped into Stephen and took the opportunity to push him downstairs, killing him without mercy.

You poor wretched girl! Motivated by money and forced to murder to achieve your ends!"

Verity Ann was gobsmacked.

Then a shot rang out and Miss Marple crumpled to the floor!

"Well I hope I'm not to blame for that!" Verity Ann shrieked.

#121: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 7:15 pm
—
Another twist?! Now I don't know whether I'm on my head or my heels! Thanks, Phil, this is wonderful!

#122: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:41 pm
—
Somebody has had the nerve to shoot Miss Marple! Well wonders will never cease! Very Happy

#123: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 9:23 pm
—
Oh dear! Both of them wrong??? Shocked

Thanks Phil! Laughing

#124: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:48 pm
—
But... but Poirot's NEVER wrong. He tells us so on every possibly occasion!

Loving this Phil, can't wait to see the next twist!

#125: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:50 pm
—
Just caught up with this again... so, it isn't a surviving Maynard... nor M. Poirot nor Verity Ann...

Who on earth would benefit if all the Maynards died? No-one! After all Mary Lou already has everything. If Mary Lou dies, presumably Verity but we haven't read her will.

If the Mary Lou will is a fake then who would get the estate if all the children die? Madge and her children or Dick and then his? Or what about Jack's side of the family?

Help?

#126: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 11:02 pm
—
Eeek! I can't believe you killed Miss Marple off!

Thanks Phil Very Happy

Kathryn

#127: Author: tiffinata, Location: melbourne, australia

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 12:05 am
—
OMG! Shocked

#128: Author: joyclark,

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 6:12 am
—

KathrynW wrote:

Eeek! I can't believe you killed Miss Marple off!

Thanks Phil Very Happy

Kathryn

I bet she's not really dead. It's just an act so she can prowl around, killing the rest off, without suspicion. You know - like Ten Little Indians.....

#129: Author: Rob, Location: Derbyshire, England

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 9:27 am
—
Shocked

I wonder who's next? Shocked

Thanks Phil

#130: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:45 pm
—
There was the sound of shattering glass and a gun wielding figure broke into the room.

Len recognised her instantly.

"Jacynth Gabrielle Lambert!"

"You! Are you the murderer?" demanded Con.

The spoilt brat of the Lambert family regarded her with such a look of impudence that Con yearned to punish her with the utmost severity!

"I want Len! I want Len to be with me forever!"

"And is that why you embarked on a campaign to slaughter my relatives?" asked Len, ice cold fury in her voice.

"Yes! They were getting in the way! I'm the only one who has any right to be with you!" the little monster replied.

"This is taking a schoolgirl's crush a bit too far!" remarked Con.

"How did you kill everyone?" asked M Poirot.

"Duh! You're a bit thick aren't you?"

"Don't be insolent girl!" shrieked Con.

Jack gave that impertinent look again, and Con looked around for a weapon. She was going to teach Jack Lambert a lesson.

"I went to see Dr and Mrs Maynard on Loch Ness to get them to change their will to me and Len. They told me to go away. Luckily someone had let their pet komodo dragon loose in the loch, so I persuaded it to come aboard and eat your parents! But Mary Lou saw and heard me. She arranged for a fake will which said she was the eldest Maynard so she could look after you. I had to kill her. Then I eavesdropped on Verity having a row with Mike about Mary Lou. I stole Mike's gun, but he saw me, so I killed him. Then Margot saw me running away, so after killing Mary Lou, I framed her and killed her. Then at the zoo, I found the dragon and released it on Felix and Felicity! I was so happy killing, until Cecily beat me off. Steve caught me leaving the hotel, so I did him in as well! I thought Miss Marple knew it was me and was about to expose me, so I shot her. I didn't know M Poirot was here, or I would have shot him too."

Len tut tutted and shook her head.

"What a pity!" she sighed.

"Eh? what do you mean?" the ill mannered cowardly little bully replied.

"What a pity the death penalty for murder has just been abolished!"

"Yah! Can't catch me!" and Jack raced from the room, just as Con was going to use a poker to teach that young criminal a painful lesson.

#131: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 5:01 pm
—
Should have remembered that Jack is not your favourite person, Phil! That was brilliant, thank you.

#132: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 5:21 pm
—
I'm laughing so much I can barely breathe! Thanks Phil.

It's even more hilarious when you get to read it all in one go.

#133: Author: grover, Location: Dublin

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 5:29 pm
—
Hope Con gets to put that poker to good use!
Thanks,Phil,this is inspired! Laughing

#134: Author: nikkie, Location: Cumbria

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 7:23 pm
—
So many twists and turns, have you been trained by Lesley? Wink

Thanks Phil

#135: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 7:30 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I hadn't guessed who it was at all!

#136: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:42 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. This is wonderful.

#137: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 9:09 pm
—

nikkie wrote:

So many twists and turns, have you been trained by Lesley? Wink

Thanks Phil

#138: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 9:47 pm
—
Thanks for revealing the murderer, I never thought it was Jack Lambert in a million years!

#139: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 11:40 pm
—
Another one who didn't guess Jack at all but it now makes perfect sense!

Thanks Phil Very Happy

Kathryn

#140: Author: Lisa, Location: South Coast of England

Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 4:58 pm
—
yee hee hee! Very Happy

Have just read the lot! Very amoosing Laughing

#141: Author: RuthY, Location: Anyone's guess

Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 8:37 pm
—
Thanks Phil.

It has so many twists and turns. who would have thought it would be Jack when the story started.

#142: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 9:37 pm
—
Jack Lambert was selfish through and through with absolutely no idea of the wickedness of her character.

As she fled from her pursuers, she found herself in London zoo. She stuck her tongue out at the lion.

"Yah! Big pussycat! I'm Jack Lambert, you don't scare me!"

The lion was not taking this lying down. A fierce roar shook the zoo and he launched himself at the bars. They shook under the ferocity of his onslaught and Jack squealed in terror.

She found no mercy from the gorillas, who objected to their routine being unsettled by this imp. Particularly as they were enjoying grooming each other. SHe broke into the aquarium and then into the reptile house.

"She went in here!" shouted a constable.

"There's no way out, she's cornered!" said the zoo manager

Jack could not see where she was going. She slipped and fell into a smelly pond. Then she trod on something thick, muscular, smooth and very very angry!

The lights were turned on and she found herself staring at a notice:

SOUTH AMERICAN DEATH VIPERS

DO NOT APPROACH

It was too late. Snakes are never sociable animals and are terrified of humans, so when a selfish spoilt brat trod on one the natural response was to bite. Several times!

"AAAARGH! Help Len! Help!" she screamed

"I'm afraid I've always had a fear of snakes Jack, besides I'm not a qualified snake handler." said Len Entwhistle with a trace of smugness in her voice.

With a last burst of energy, Jack leapt out of the snake pit, a viper still clinging to her, raced past the astonished police and into the aquarium, where she slipped taking the viper and her to their fate at the jaws of several ravenous piranhas.

"Oh! I didn't get to use my poker on her!" said Con with disappointment.

"Never mind Con, she got her just desserts!" said Len

#143: Author: ibarhis, Location: London and Hemel Hempstead

Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 9:59 pm
—
Surely she was just dessert... for the piranhas...

Embarassed

#144: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:24 pm
—
Thanks Phil...I almost feel sorry for Jack...almost, but not quite Very Happy

Kathryn

#145: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 12:50 am
—
Shocked

(speechless Laughing

)

#146: Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 9:08 am
—
Laughing

Nice to know that Jack got her come-upance!

#147: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 12:55 pm
—
*smirks*

Not enough pain and suffering for Jack in there...and for once smug Len is a good thing.

Thanks Phil

#148: Author: Elle, Location: Peterborough

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 2:28 pm
—
I have just found and read all this.

Fab.

Thanks Phil.

#149: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 2:31 pm
—
Phil, that was absolutely dreadful of you!

That poor viper, stood on by Jack then eaten by pirhanas. Sad

#150: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 3:03 pm
—
Well, that's a good ending for her! Thanks, Phil, I've really enjoyed reading this.

#151: Author: La Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 5:05 pm
—
Tres funny Phil, thanks!!! Very Happy

#152: Author: Tiffany, Location: madthesispanicargh

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 5:25 pm
—
Fantabulous, Phil! Shocked

#153: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 6:20 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. I'm definitely glad that Jack got what she deserved.

#154: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 12:17 pm
—
Thanks, Phil. The biter bit.

#155: Author: Kat, Location: Abertawe

Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 2:15 pm
—
Fab! Very Happy

The CBB -> St Clare's House

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