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The Last One
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=2413
Author:  Joyce [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:52 am ]
Post subject:  The Last One
(Just a bit of silliness for the holidays)

“ARRRRRR!!!” Joey was screaming good and loud.

“Mrs Maynard, push, push!” the doctor urged.

“I am pushing, damn it!” Joey had long given up trying not to swear. “ARRRRRR!!!”

Outside the room, Jack winced as he heard his wife scream. Why oh why did I give in, he thought. But he knew why – Joey always had to be top.

It started with Len having twins. That was a pretty normal thing in their family and Joey had merely looked smug while Len looked relieved. After looking after her 10 brothers and sisters, she thought two would be child’s play.

Then Con had triplets. Joey looked a bit worried but she still managed to smile – after all, she had trips first. Con looked at the three tiny heads and called the nanny company she had on speed dial.

Then Margot - Margot the nun! – had quadruplets. Once Jack and Joey got over the fact that Margot had obviously decided against taking her final vows, Joey got a thoughtful look on her face.

Jack started to tremble.

The news from Australia was disturbing. Sybil had skipped quintuplets and gone straight to sextuplets. “How?!” Joey yelled. “She only had one set of twins in her family. How has she managed to have six?”

Jack started praying.

More news from Australia. Josette had made Madge a grandmother again – seven times over. AND they were all boys. AND they were all identical.

Jack’s faith in a merciful God was shaken.

Madge’s triumph was the last straw. Try as he might, Jack was unable to stop the gloating letter from her reaching Joey.

He tried to reason with her. He tried showing her the diminishing bank account. He even tried telling her it wasn’t so bad to only have 11 children.

But he knew he was up against a force much greater than him. Elinor Brent-Dyer had decided that Joey must be on top, and on top she was.

So here he was pacing the waiting room, praying that the great and mighty author would go easy on him. Maybe she would stop at septuplets and he could parcel them out to the older children.

“Jack,” the doctor came out and went over to him. “It’s over. You have a fine healthy boy.”

“One! One! Only one!” Jack gasped out. “Oh thank you Elinor, thank you!”

Jack’s faith was renewed and he vowed to give a large donation to the retired authors fund.

Inside Joey was stony faced. One, she thought. Given her age, probably the last one.

In the next partition, the woman had finally stopped screaming. Joey peeked through the curtains and counted eight little heads.

Hmmmm...

The End
Author:  Fatima [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:43 am ]
Post subject: 
:lol: I bet Jo was enraged!

Thanks Joyce.
Author:  Aquabird [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:03 am ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :rofl:
Thanks Joyce.
Author:  janem [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very good!

Two at once was quite enough for me and I spent most of their babyhood being thankful they weren't triplets!
Author:  Jennie [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank, Joyce, that was lovely. I shall be snickering to myself all day.
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Feeling a little sorry for the woman with eight next door to Joey.... :lol: :rofl:



Thanks Joyce.
Author:  Caty [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 2:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Brilliant! :lol: Thanks Joyce
Author:  Elle [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very funny! Thank you.
Author:  Tara [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
:D :D :D
Quote:
he vowed to give a large donation to the retired authors fund
Love it!
Author:  Clare [ Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Joyce, where do you get these ideas from?! Brilliant, I'm going to be laughing to myself all day. :rofl:
Author:  Miranda [ Mon Apr 09, 2007 12:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hilarious :lol:

Quote:
Then Margot - Margot the nun! – had quadruplets.


My favourite bit!
Author:  Jennie [ Mon Apr 09, 2007 12:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm, I do wonder if Jo will decide to try to kidnap the octuplets and pass them off as her own.
Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Apr 09, 2007 1:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Brilliant! Thanks, Joyce.
Author:  Laura V [ Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
lol! :rofl: I especially love the comment about Margot!
Author:  Elbee [ Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Brilliant as always, thanks Joyce :lol:
Author:  Liane [ Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Jennie wrote:
Hmm, I do wonder if Jo will decide to try to kidnap the octuplets and pass them off as her own.


I thought that
Author:  Smile :) [ Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Me too!

:lol: hehe, thanks Joyce.
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