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SLOC school! Updated 08/09/07 page 3
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=3078

Author:  Willow [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  SLOC school! Updated 08/09/07 page 3

This is something Emma and I wrote last year. I don't know if the idea has already been used but this is our take on things! I found it out the other day and I just thought 'what a waste, we should post this!' So here goes. We used Fatima and her character Armand in our drabble. Fatima kindly agreed to this annnnnnnnnd we'd like to thank her! We hope it doesn't offend anyone and any comments will be accepted gratefully!



Kathie stood before her mirror, settling her dainty blouse and considering her hairstyle. “Do I look like I’ve tried too hard? Do I look too dressed up? Do I look dressed up enough?” Her head was spinning with questions and she couldn’t answer a single one of them! Turning away, she changed her summery skirt for a more fitted, formal one and discarded her shawl in favour of a smart jacket. Back to the mirror she went, only to find that she now looked like a business woman going to a meeting. In despair, she slumped into her easy chair, seriously considering calling the whole thing off.
“Kathie? Shouldn’t you be off now?” Nancy Wilmot’s head appeared around the door.
“Oh, I don’t think I should go,” Kathie replied, “I’ve nothing suitable to wear and he’s not going to turn up anyhow.” She sighed gloomily and began to take off her jacket.
“Nonsense!” rebuked Nancy, for all the world treating Kathie as if she were a confused Middle. “Come along, put that jacket back on and change that skirt for that cream one on your bed. He’s crazy about you Kathie, and has been for the past three months. Go on, get changed whilst I go and check that he’s not waiting outside for you!” With that, she hurried off in the direction of the front entrance, leaving Kathie to follow her commands.

He checked his watch for the second time in three minutes. “What if she’s not coming? What if there’s someone else?” Shaking his head, he put all negative thoughts out of his head, for the lads at college had always said that bad thoughts brought bad luck on a date. Not that he was superstitious but still…
“She’s just coming!” rang a familiar voice from somewhere just above him. Looking up, it was easy to see Nancy Wilmot hanging out of a second storey window, dignity thrown to the winds. “Think she got some last minute nerves about her outfit!” The window shut and the mistress disappeared.
Sure enough, a blushing Kathie Ferrars stepped out of the Chalet School five minutes later and hurried over to meet her date. “Sorry I’m late Richard!”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere and it’s not as if we’re on a schedule is it?” Richard squeezed her hand and led the way up a path.
“What about the table?” queried Kathie, bemused.
“What table? I haven’t booked a restaurant, we’re having a picnic!” declared Richard, producing a large hamper from behind his back.
Kathie’s eyes widened considerably as she thought of the blustery wind and ominous dark clouds in the sky, but she said nothing.
The two continued up the path, engaging in light, companionable chit-chat; Richard swinging the picnic basket gaily.
“I say, shall we stop for some food just here?” he suggested, as they reached a clearing with a magnificent view. Kathie agreed and they sat down to… chaos!
“Oh dear, the sandwiches are a little squashed,” commented Kathie, as she unpacked them from the hamper, “And I’m afraid the lemonade looks as though it may explode.” She stood up near the edge of the cliff to open to lemonade so as not cover her and the disappointed Richard with its spray.
All at once, a fresh gust of strong wind caught her by surprise. Loosing her balance, Kathie tripped and toppled over the edge of the cliff.
Shielding his eyes from the pebbles her feet kicked up, Richard cried, “Kathie! Where are you?” He ran over to the spot where she had stood.
“Look below. I’ve caught onto a piece of rock!” came Kathie’s voice, breathless with shock and the effort of keeping herself from falling.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! What shall I do?” asked a flustered Richard, proving himself to be quite incompetent in the circumstances.
“Try helping me up, as I’m only a few feet down,” answered Kathie, slightly irritated.
“I’m scared of heights. Sorry Kathie, I really can’t!” Richard dithered on the spot, thinking up a plan. “Hang on there, I’ll sprint down to the Platz and get help.” With that, he turned and prepared to run off.
“Wait!”
Richard turned and was astonished to see Kathie clambering up over the cliff in the most unladylike fashion.
“It wasn’t as bad as looked, and I see I have much more of a head for heights than you.” Her voice came icily and her eyes were foreboding. “What were you playing at? I could have fallen and died! Sorry, but I cannot see you anymore- you’ve no idea how many mistakes you’ve made today. Firstly you plan a picnic in the middle of November, which is foolish. Secondly, you swing the picnic so much that you thoughtlessly ruin the food. And lastly, you let me fall to what could have been my death and didn’t try to rescue me! Honestly, Richard Sutherland, you are one of the feeblest and most heedless men I’ve ever met.” With that, she collected her bag and started off down the slope.
“Kathie! Please!” Richard was distraught. “What can I do? Stay here a bit, please!”
“No,” came the reply, “If you want my advice, go and enrol yourself at SLOC School. They ought to be able to help.”

Author:  andi [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 10:29 pm ]
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Brilliant! :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:22 am ]
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Like it - Richard really needs some help, doesn't he? :lol:

Author:  Fatima [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:27 am ]
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:rofl: Richard is a disaster!

Author:  LizB [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:51 am ]
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks, Willow & Em

Author:  Rosalin [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:32 am ]
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Thank you Willow and Em! Brilliant :rofl:

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:45 pm ]
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Thank you, both of you.

Author:  Alison H [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:53 pm ]
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*Wonders who the teachers will be :lol: .*

Author:  keren [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:52 pm ]
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lovely

Author:  Willow [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:48 pm ]
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A shorter update today! Thank you for everyone's comments!


Richard looked around nervously, as he entered the big hall in which he was supposed to assemble for his first day at SLOC school. He noticed a ginger lad picking his nose in the corner, one of his braces was undone and hanging down, although Richard may not have been perfect he had some common sense to join the bunch of normal, tidy looking lads.
They all looked towards a large platform as they heard a voice call out, “Gentlemen, welcome,” from that direction. “I won’t keep you long, as I’m sure you will all want to get to know one another.” smiled a lady, who they assumed must be the famous Fatima. “We just want to wish you all a happy time here at SLOC school and hope that you will be proud gentlemen when you leave the school, I won’t ramble on forever, so have a good day and lessons will start bright and early tomorrow morning.” She was rather shocked at the amount of groans which followed her comment but all the same, left the platform and went off to seek Dr Jack Maynard.
As Richard turned back to the group of chattering boys, he noticed the ginger lad lolloping over.
“Hi, I’m Wayne! Who’re you?” His loud American accent boomed across the hall.
“Richard, nice to meet you -er- Wayne.” Smiled Richard, before turning back around to engage in conversation with a young man called Robert, who he was striking up a friendship with. Wayne it would appear had found some new friends of his own, Bert and Harold.
“So Richard, what brings you to SLOC school?” Asked Robert, Richard’s new friend.
Richard sighed, “Well,”

Author:  Fatima [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 8:22 pm ]
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There are so many things I want to know - like does the most promising SLOC turned out by the school get to marry a CS mistress? It's almost like one of these reality shows where the worst gets voted off each week!
Thanks Willow and Emma :lol:

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:03 pm ]
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Well, if Fatima's running it, there's hope for them yet.

Author:  Alison H [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:23 pm ]
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I have every confidence in Fatima!

Author:  Rosalin [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:41 pm ]
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Thanks Willow and Emma. Looking forward to seeing what subjects are taught at SLOC school. Is slipping a dose in the milk included, or is that just for doctors? :lol:

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 7:58 am ]
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks

Author:  brie [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:04 am ]
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Ha ha :lol:

Author:  Willow [ Sun Jul 15, 2007 2:52 pm ]
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Upppppppdaaatteee, hope you're all enjoying it!

Fatima glided into the room and gently made her way up the steps onto the raised platform on which she had full view of her pupils.
“Welcome,” she smiled, “here at SLOC school you will learn how to become SLOCs, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but if you work hard and listen to what your teachers have to say then I have no doubt that you will become someone of us to be proud of!” Began Fatima, as she surveyed her class carefully. “I’d like to welcome my faithful assistant Dr Armand Laroche!” Armand stepped forward and took a low deep bow.
“Woo go Armand! Armand!” Chanted Wayne loudly.
Fatima raised her eyebrows at him, “That is no way to behave, sit down.”
“Right,” she said, once Wayne had sat down again meekly. “We shall begin with the definition of a SLOC.”
The class all looked at her with interest, awaiting what she had to teach them.
“Well, I assume you all know what S-L-O-C stands for.” She looked around the room of blank faces, “No one here knows?” she almost looked as if she were to faint although she recovered herself quickly, “Well it stands for ‘Solid Lump Of Comfort’ that is exactly what you must be, you have a lot of jobs to fulfil if you are to become proper SLOCs, which you will all learn in your time here. A definition is rather hard to say, for there is so much that one SLOC must do, basically you protect and comfort, that is your main duty, you will learn that plus many others here, so now you know the basics we shall begin.” Smiling down at the bewildered faces, she called over her faithful assistant. “Armand, here please.” Fatima signalled for Armand to come over to where she stood. “You will now learn the art of pulling out a chair. Thank you, Armand.” She smiled, as she sat down on the chair Armand had pulled out gracefully for her. “Now, I’d like you to try!”
“Oh miss, pick me! Pick me! I’ve got it!” Wayne bounced around, waving his hand excitedly in the air.
“Alright Wayne, you may show us how it should be done.” She smiled expectantly at her pupil. Wayne sat down on a chair, crossed his legs and fluttered his eyelashes, making his fellow students chuckle. “Wayne, you will play the part of Armand, not myself.” She explained nicely.
“Oh,” he looked downcast, “but Miss, I don’t like… girls.”
Robert and Richard raised their eyebrows in unison.
Fatima’s eyes grew wide, “Yes you do! You WILL become a SLOC!” She grabbed some handy pens, which Armand had ready for her and chucked them in the direction of Wayne, one of which hit Bert on the head, making this chap very unhappy. “Oh, I am sorry Bert, but do some whimpering if you want to become a SLOC you have to be indestructible, let alone not making a fuss if a tiny pen hits you.” She explained. “Right, on to proposals!” grinned Fatima, this was her favourite part. “First of all - keep it short and sweet. Don’t, under any circumstances propose before some dramatic misunderstanding has happened and most importantly NEVER forget the word love. So gentlemen, I will give you ten minutes to write and learn your own proposal speech, then you may all come onto the platform and perform for the class, your time starts now!” She glanced at the clock on the wall and left them at their desks with paper and pens.
“Time is up chaps!” she smiled at her class, after having spent a restless ten minutes. “Any volunteers to perform first?” She asked.
Every performance was as bad as the first, she was at her wits end, was no one capable of writing a simple proposal? She sighed, only two left and then she could rest. “Richard and Robert left, who will go first?”
“I will.” Said Richard, standing up and taking his place upon the large stage. “My darling, I’m sorry for all that has happened, may we please start over? I’ve always loved you and I love you now, stronger than ever before,” Richard knelt on one knee, “please, will you marry me?”
Fatima sighed with relief, it wasn’t perfect but it was very close to it. “Thank you Richard. Robert, you next.” Smiled Fatima happily.
“Oh bravo old chap!” Clapped Richard, slapping his new friend jovially on the back, after Robert had performed his and joined Richard again.
Fatima looked impressed with Richard, glancing across at Armand she gave him a secret nod and continued with the lesson.

Author:  Fatima [ Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:54 pm ]
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Thanks Willow.

*thinking of doing this in real life - it looks like such fun!*

Author:  Lisa A. [ Sun Jul 15, 2007 4:15 pm ]
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This made me laugh! Looking forward to the lessons on dealing with overwrought wives - what advice will Fatima give about sedatives and the like? :)

Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:53 pm ]
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This is great! Thank you :lol: .

Author:  Sal [ Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:53 am ]
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:rofl:

Just found this it's hilarious. Thanks

Author:  linda [ Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:04 pm ]
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Fabulous - are there any vacancies? - I could supply a new pupil!!!

Author:  Willow [ Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:06 pm ]
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Thank you for the comments, quite a bit more.


Jack Maynard picked up a piece of white chalk, and turned to his class. “Right chaps, welcome to your first multiple choice lesson! We won’t hang around, I’m sure you all know what to do, so on with the first question.” As he finished chalking up the first question he turned back to his class he read the question out loud, “What would you do if a chalet school mistress were hanging off the side of a mountain? Would you - a) Run in the opposite direction, to find help? b) Yank her arm and run quickly from the falling avalanche and hope she follows you? Or c) Jump down the side of the mountain, pick her up gently, sling her over your shoulder and make your way back to the school?” Asked Jack Maynard, looking across the array of blank faces, “Okay, I’ll let you off this first time, but of course it would be - c!”
“Everyone ready for the next question?” Jack Maynard’s enthusiastic smile faded when the men groaned but he cleared his throat and proceeded anyway. As he chalked up this question on the board, the stick broke and he threw it in the bin before reading the question to his students, “What would you do if a chalet school mistress could not sleep? Would you - a) Give her some hot milk with a sedative in? b) Keep her up until she wore herself out? Or c) Just leave her to get on with it, she’ll go to sleep when she’s tired?” Jack Maynard rose his eyebrows at this last question, as he wrote it on the board, who would do that?! What a stupid idea, of course everyone must know the answer, it was so obvious! “Yes Bert? What would your answer be?” He asked, waiting for the answer he though he knew was coming.
“C sir, it’s most logical.” Replied Bert, looking rather smug.
“C?! C?! Of course it’s not C! Be sensible lad!” Replied a shocked Jack Maynard, “Can anyone else tell me the answer?” He asked, once he had recovered his breath.
Richard was thinking, well if it’s not c, it’s unlikely to be b, so.. “Sir, is it a?” Spoke up Richard, hoping he was right.
“Bravo old chap, well done!” Jack Maynard looked relieved that someone had some sense amongst these trainee SLOCs.
Wiping off his last question, he began writing another with a fresh piece of chalk but… he could not get it to write, to his horror he realised it had been soaked in water!
“Practical jokes are NOT acceptable in my school!” Jack Maynard spoke out, sending a bunch of boys into helpless giggles. “You will report to Fatima immediately after the lesson!” This quietened down the noise, as no one wanted to be sent to the head.
He managed to find a piece of chalk that worked and wrote up the final question, “How would you react when you found out a doctor was marrying a chalet school mistress, would you accompany the word ‘congratulations’ with a) A cheeky wink? b) A jovial swing? Or c) A slap on the thigh?”
A boy named Ben spoke up, “Well… I’d say 'a' Sir.” He thought it would be more likely, as he’d never heard of a jovial swing and a slap on the thigh didn’t seem to fit the circumstances.
“Don’t be absurd boy! b) A jovial swing! It is perfect for almost every situation!” The bell rang for the end of the lesson and Jack Maynard silently thanked god. As everyone fled out of the classroom, he pointed towards the group of boys who had before been giggling at the chalk incident. “You all must report to Fatima, instantly!”

Author:  Lesley [ Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:09 pm ]
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Oh dear - thay've got a lot to learn, haven't they? :lol:


Thanks Willow

Author:  Rosalin [ Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:20 pm ]
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Do we find out what punishment Fatima has for badly behaved SLOC wanabees? Some of them are certainly quite slow.

And I'm glad someone doesn't think that dosing with a sedative is the way to go.

Thanks Willow.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Jul 25, 2007 1:53 pm ]
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Rosalin wrote:
And I'm glad someone doesn't think that dosing with a sedative is the way to go.


I don't know. I sometimes thinking dosing male SLOC's is the way to go :wink:

Author:  La Petite Em [ Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:34 pm ]
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Glad you are all enjoying this. We wrote some of it so long ago that I had forgotten it. Haha in about two posts time you have a real treat coming up :lol:

Author:  Willow [ Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:16 pm ]
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Fatima was sinking back into her chair and closed her eyes lightly, after the day she’d had this was most agreeable. A rowdy knock on her study door made her jump and put her in a most unpleasant mood. “Come in.” She spoke, in chilly tones.
The boys peeped around the door and stepped into the room.
Fatima raised her eyebrows, why were these boys not bowing to her? It is what any respectable SLOC would do. She coughed a little in the hope they’d realise but instead they stood looking confused and one boy asked if she was okay.
She sighed “And what might I ask, brings you to my study?” The boys all looked at each other and shifted under her uncomfortable gaze. “Well are you going to tell me or are we going to sit here all night?” She began to nibble politely on a biscuit while waiting for a reply.
“It was all Bert’s idea!” Said Harold, who got hit across the chest from Bert at this outburst.
“And what was all Bert’s idea?” Asked Fatima.
“The…the… chalk incident.” Said Harold, lowering his head.
“I see… What happened with this so-called chalk?” She asked, knowing full well what they’d done, trying to conceal her giggles she continued eating a biscuit.
“We… er… soaked it in water so when Jack Maynard went to write it er… Wouldn’t work Miss.” Stuttered Bert.
“I see.” Fatima gave them her best disappointed look, “Well boys, practical jokes are certainly unacceptable in my school, under all circumstances. Your behaviour is appalling and you must all stay behind and answer as many questions as Jack asks you to, until you get them all right.” As groans of protest were heard, Fatima raised her eyebrows, “Is there a problem gentlemen?”
“No Miss.” They said in unison and ran out the room as quick as possible.
As soon as the door was shut firmly behind them, Fatima burst into giggles, ‘how chalet school’, she thought.

Author:  JoyT [ Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:21 pm ]
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:D :D This is hilarious! I love the idea of training men up to be worthy enough fo strong chalet women! Thanks Willow and Em :D

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:22 pm ]
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Love Fatima waiting for them to bow! :lol:


Thanks Willow.

Author:  Rosalin [ Sun Aug 05, 2007 8:20 pm ]
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Is Fatima Miss Annersley's long-lost great-niece by any chance?

Thanks Willow.

Author:  Tara [ Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:16 pm ]
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Loved the multiple-choice questions! :D

Author:  Fatima [ Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:19 am ]
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I'm going to practice my 'chilly tones' ready for school to restart!

Thanks Willow and Em. :D

Author:  Josie [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:13 am ]
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*g* Excellent. Thanks Willow & Em.

Author:  Willow [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:41 pm ]
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Sorry for such a long wait before this update, I'm really lost with where I am with this... I think this is the next bit *giggles* I hope it all makes sense anyway. Glad you're all still enjoying, thanks for the comments.

For what seemed like the 100th time, Richard peered with interest at the invitation that had been pushed under his bedroom door.

Would be SLOCs- please attend a Speed Dating session in the Drawing Room
Chalet School mistresses will be in attendance
First come, first served
Dress code- black tie


Richard’s eyes filled with stars as he pictured the scene before him. He would arrive first, dressed in a suave black suit, side parted hair and expensive French aftershave. He would stride manfully up to Kathie Ferrars and give her that sexy look he had been practising in the bathroom mirror- the one with the single raised eyebrow and the attractive curl of the lips. He'd murmur, “Is this chair free?” She would swoon and reply, “Forget the chair, take me!” He would sweep her up into his arms, Jack and Fatima would praise him and pass him with honours, he was rising, rising on a pedestal high above Wayne, Harold, Bert and Roger, he had huge muscles, a well cut chin, and wore a small loin cloth that showed off his well endowed-

“Richard! Richard, old boy, shake a leg!” Roger was slapping his new friend’s face from side to side in an attempt to stir him. As the younger man groggily began to wake up, Roger continued to speak, “It’s time to go get us a mistress, and you’d better hurry or we’ll be left with Matey and Miss Denny… and if that’s the case bags me Miss Denny!”

Moments later, after having sprinted down the centre of every corridor in true Action Man style, (and having paused around the corner to catch their breath,) the two men entered the Drawing Room. Richard was whisked away to sit with Miss Wilmot whilst Roger was soon drowsing under the sweet musicality of Miss Annersly’s voice, which was, (this was a very well kept secret!) one of her greatest assets.

Fatima strolled meaningfully about the room, taking notes and generally intimidating those students she despised and eyeing up those that were beginning to understand the concept of that almighty human being, the SLOC. The notes went something like this:

Bert- unfortunate individual. Could be a moderate to good SLOC if not for his sweat problem. Is dating Miss Wilson. She is itching to test that sweat for acidity, but he seems to think she is admiring his chest. Undoing some buttons on shirt- good, some common sense, and…… oh dear. NB- more gym needed.

Richard- the best in the group. Clean hair, nice suit, flower. Does not understand the idea of Speed Dating, talks in a hurried gabble and generally seems nervous and flustered. Making very bad ‘alluring’ expressions. Potential.

Wayne- doesn’t even know what black tie dress is. Wearing a green tartan shirt, red braces, brown corduroys and a black tie. Needs the Joey style treatment. Jovial swing count so far: 57

An onlooker of the scene would surely not have known that this was a SLOC school. As the hopeful men circled the room, they wreaked havoc that some Chalet School middles would have been very proud of. Wayne was performing wild jovial swings left, right and centre, knocking the complementary feather beds of coffee into every place possible. Bert was crouching in the corner crying for his mummy and hanging on to Matey’s crisp uniform. Roger was performing high kicks and sharp punches against the flying cream, whilst flexing his muscles and ‘making eyes’ at Miss Dene.

In fact, this time it was not Fatima, Jack or Joey that hung their head in despair. Richard thought to himself, “Why can’t they see that this is not SLOC behaviour?” He turned his back on the Speed Dating circle and left the room.

Kathie Ferrars stared after him. Her face glowed with a queer, blazing expression.


She had coffee all down the back of her dress.

Author:  Fatima [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:58 pm ]
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Willow wrote:
She had coffee all down the back of her dress.


Oh dear!

Author:  patmac [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:15 pm ]
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

*Note to self : Do not read in office in future*

Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:54 pm ]
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Brilliant!

Author:  Rebecca [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:05 pm ]
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:D *splutters!*

Thanks Willow!

Author:  Rosalin [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:54 pm ]
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:lol: At the secret of Miss Annersley's voice.

Well at all of it really, but that's the bit that made me choke.

Thanks Willow.

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:13 pm ]
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Worst kept secret in the School that one! :lol:


Thanks Willow

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:08 am ]
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Thanks Willow.

Author:  leahbelle [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 5:14 pm ]
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Thanks, Willow :D .

Author:  francesn [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 5:33 pm ]
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I thought you were going to add something else onto Miss Annersley's voice as a best kept secret.

*crawls out of the gutter*

Thanks Willow!

Author:  NineLivesBurra [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:49 pm ]
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I think this is good. I remember reading Joey telling Jack he was a solid lump of comfort and causing Grizel, I think to nearly fall off her perch...lol...I think the idea of a school to teach men to be thus is brilliant.

Author:  Willow [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:32 pm ]
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Joey Maynard marched up towards the large white building which was where her husband, Dr Jack Maynard, did part time work, helping create the new generation of… SLOCs! What a generous husband I have, mused Joey happily. After announcing loudly in the reception area that she had arrived, she barged into the study.
Fatima jumped slightly and glanced up, that was when she got the real shock, all she noticed at first was a lime green blur but then that blur became… Joey Maynard!
“Well hello!! You must be Fatima, I’m Mrs Maynard, Jack is expecting me.” She smiled. “Remember, if you’ve any questions or problems you come straight to me!”
“Thank you, Mrs Maynard…” She said baffled at why Joey was treating her like a timid new girl, when she herself ran SLOC school, the greatest known academy of SLOCs! (Not to mention the only one…)
There was a slight cough from the door to capture the two ladies’ attention, Jack Maynard stood in the doorway, his locks of hair tousled and dark shadows under his eyes. Joey gasped as she noticed how simply ghastly her husband looked, before she could mention her utter horror, Jack smiled and spoke softly, “I see you have been acquainted with my wife, Fatima.”
“I… I believe I have.” Stuttered Fatima, still in shock that the lime green blur that was Joey Maynard, was truly stood in front of her.
“Jolly good,” Said Jack Maynard, with a jovial swing. “You two will be great pals!”
Fatima raised her eyebrows but left it at that.
“You don’t mind Joey sitting in do you?” asked Jack, as Fatima, Armand, Matron, Jack and… Joey, all prepared for the staff meeting.
“Of course they don’t!” Spoke Joey with a laugh before anyone could even open their mouth to speak, “I’m sure I’ll be able to help.”
Help? thought Fatima, the only thing Joey Maynard was capable of was helping herself to the pack of biscuits that lay on the side.
“My multiple choice lesson was appalling and don’t even get me started on the chalet dating! These men will NEVER become worthy SLOCs!” Spoke Jack.
Joey gave a chuckle, “I used to think that about many of the school girls, oh what rotten middles they were, but they all turned out beautifully! Just look at me for example, I’m now a proud Mamma and…” Joey could have talked about the chalet school all day if Jack had not given her a silencing glance, which surprisingly enough she paid attention to.
Fatima was glad of the moments silence and took the opportunity to speak, “I think these men will become SLOCs, it just… doesn’t feel like it for the time being.” Fatima paused and looked around the room, “At least they’ve all attempted things in class.”
“But they know nothing of what it takes to be a mighty SLOC!” Said Jack, aspirated with frustration. Why couldn’t these men just get it?!
“I’ll sort them out!” Said Joey, triumphantly.
“No!” Shouted Jack, Fatima, Armand and Matron in unison.
“I… I mean I think we can handle it darling, you’ve got enough to worry about.” Stammered Jack, with a smile at his wife.
Joey frowned, “If I were someone else I’d think you didn’t WANT my help.” Laughed Joey.
“No no of course not darling…” Jack Maynard glanced at his watch and let out a moan, “I must dash, SLOC gym time!” He used this opportunity to escape from his wife’s wrath.
Everyone rose up after this statement, Jack quickly grabbed his jacket, gave his wife a kiss and left the room.
“I… have some things to see to.” Mumbled Matron and made her exit.
Armand and Fatima looked at each other, “We… have some paperwork to sort out. Do take a look around the building and make yourself at home.” Smiled Fatima.

Author:  Rosalin [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:52 pm ]
Post subject: 

What did Fatima do to deserve that :shock:

Thanks Willow.

Author:  Lesley [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

So they're not going to use Joey to stimulate the would-be SLOC's then? :lol:

Thanks Willow.

Author:  Fatima [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 5:04 pm ]
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Jo like that is enough to turn them all into monks, not SLOCs!

Author:  bethany [ Sat Sep 08, 2007 7:20 pm ]
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I've just read this from the beginning, and it is great. I love the idea of a school to train all the men to be SLOCs. I am wondering if the man who does the best by the end of the course will be able to rescue a Chalet Mistress from some terrible fate, and then marry her?

Thanks Willow!

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:53 am ]
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Poor Fatima, having to deal with that

Author:  Frogize [ Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:08 am ]
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Quote:
Her face glowed with a queer, blazing expression.


SLOCs can have that effect I believe...but trainees? Oh dear!

Thanks Willow. This is hilarious!

Author:  Billie [ Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

HAHAHAHAHA :rofl:
Just what I needed to cheer me up.

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